How do you respond without sounding mad?
>>215603582Finish the books you fat fuck
>>215603582Finish your books fatty
Finish the book you nigger
>>215603582A liberal homosexual feminist Jew was teaching a class on George R.R. Martin, known hack”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Gurm and accept that Planetos is the greatest fantasy setting of all time even greater than Arda!”At this moment, a brave, patriotic, British WW1 veteran who had served 1500 tours of duty on the Somme and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all decisions made by Butcher Haig stood up.”What are the linguistic differences among the peoples of Westeros?”The arrogant pleb smirked quite jewishly and smugly replied “There is the Old Tongue and the Common Tongue, you stupid warmonger””Wrong. There should be hundreds of dialects. If the Wall is 8000 years old as you say, how can the Wildlings and Northmen understand one another?”The HBO shill was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of A World of Ice and Fire. He stormed out of the room crying those redditor crocodile tears. The same tears redditors (who today live in such luxury most can afford sex changes) cried when Missandei was beheaded. There is no doubt that at this point our Jew-faggot wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a garbage pulp fiction fan. He wished so much he could die a glorious death in battle, but he had sworn to always be a draft dodger!The students applauded and became Tolkien fans that day and accepted the Pope as their Lord and Master. A giant eagle named “Thorondor” flew into the room and perched atop the flag of Gondor and shed a tear on the White Tree. The Silmarillion was read several times, and Eru Ilúvatar himself showed up and enacted Aragorn's flat rate tax policy across the universe.The Jew was fired the next day and sunset found him squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up he was shitting brown water.
>>215603582Cherrypicking fat fuck. Real history also doesnt have dragons yet you include them in your book. Almost like its a fantasy story and not real history same as Tolkiens story.
>>215603582
>>215603602How can that lion hold a glass with his paw?
>>215603582>fantasy fiction needs to have real world problems
>>215603811I can imagine Hobbits having sex just fine. I'd rather not, but I can.
>>215603582>>215603618>>215603761>>215603940>>215603967>>Being a faun is hard. This was maybe my answer to Lewis, whom, as much as I admire him, I do quibble with. The Chronicles of Narnia had a very Victorian philosophy: that if the little girl was polite, the mythical creatures would be gentle with her. We look at real mythology and it’s not that simple. Lewis can say that Mr. Tumnus met Lucy and had a nice tea party, and he was wise and good. But Lewis doesn’t ask the question: What was Mr. Tumnus' rape policy? Did he maintain a standing erection? What did he do in times of horniness and excitement? And what about all these other little girls? By the end of the war, the White Witch is gone but all of the little girls aren’t gone – they’re in the forest. Did Mr. Tumnus pursue a policy of systematic cunnilingus and rape them? Even little Lucy in her little Sunday best?
>>215604139>Being a faun is hard.is it too late to change my spirit animal? i'm sick of my easy life.
>>215603883Hes a big guy
>>215603602I'll bet that comic gets a lot of engagement on social media from midwits pointing out the joke.
>>215604139He's talking about the Greco-Roman mythology around Satyrs, which was associated with wantoness and rape. The reason Tolkein's world building feels so resonant is because he understood and respected with mythological etymology of what he was suing, focussed on the narrow intersection of Nordic paganism and Christianity that Beowulf came from and represented.Meanwhile gurm would probably think a Lucy/Mr Tumnus rape scene would unironically be a brilliant idea.
>>215603582Finishing a book is hard. This is maybe my answer to GRRM, whom I do not admire in the slightest and wish to kick on his fat ass. ASOIAF has a very lazy philosophy: that if I fuck around enough on my blog people will forget I am not finishing the series. We look at the current day and realize that's exactly what's going on. Real-life fat-asses with real-life co-morbidities... My arteries just don't have an easy time of it. Just blowing wind for a decade doesn't make you a good writer.
>>215603602>>215604236i don't get it. the name of the author sounds like nigger? is that the joke?
>>215603582That would go hard if the fat fuck had a halfway rational system of government in his books. Instead it's a country the size of south america with a total of 5 cities, ruled by one of its smallest regions.
>>215604675
>>215603582 >Writing is hard. This was maybe my answer to that fat faggot, whom, as much as I don't admire, can't write or finish a story to save his fucking life. A Song of Ice and Fire had a very nihilistic philosophy: that everyone is constantly backstabbing each other and working solely in their own self interest. We look at real history and national mythos stories and it’s not that simple. The retard can say that Bran became king because he was autistic and "had a good story", and he was wise and good. But the retard doesn’t ask the question: What actually was Bran's right to rule? Why did the North get to secede but no other kingdoms? Why was Bronn made master of coin without even understanding what a loan is? And what about all these other houses that got fucked over by the end of the story? Why is it now they're ok with Bran being king? Martin's nihilistic story has only ever tried proving one point, and that's all people are selfish and evil so, by the definitions he created in his story, there is no chance the rest of the kingdom accepts these results when they didn't accept the previous ones. It's an unpleasant and cautionary tale of writing a story with no real intention in mind, and no real grasp of what or why stories resonate with the human soul. RIP in piss, fat fuck.
>>215603602>>215604675>>215604714The AI is retarded, the joke is the pilots are flightless birds so can't fly
>>215604797>Robert has been throwing money into King's Landing's economoy to the point the city is as wealthy and developed as ever a mere 15 years after Tywin brutaly sacks itBobby B stays winning
>>215603582Worldbuilding is hard. This was maybe my answer to Martin, whom, as much as I admire him, I do quibble with. Game of Thrones had a very pop-culture philosophy: that if a city exists, grain will be brought to it. We look at real history and it’s not that simple. Martin can say that King's Landing has a population of half a million and that grain is carted to it from the Reach. But Martin doesn’t ask the question: Why does the Mander not flow into the Blackwater? Is there a great Reach-Crownlands Canal? How much grain is wasted feeding the horses pulling the carts? And where are all the Guilds? In medieval Europe, the dragons are gone but all the burghers aren't gone - they're in the cities. Can Martin envision the sort of systematic industrialisation that killed them? Even the little baby apprentices, in their guild workshops? The society that Martin wrote was a society built on American conceptions of medieval life and the dung ages, and that’s become the template. I’m not sure that it’s a good template, though. The Martin model led generations of fantasy writers to produce these endless series of scheming nobles and their mindless serfs who are all very inbred and wear brown clothes. But the vast majority of societies throughout history are not like that.
>>215603582Why does Tolkien make him so fucking ass mad?
>>215606104Because Tolkien could finish a book
>>215603582Isn't it kind of weird to say you "quibble" with someone who is long dead and never had any idea who the fuck you are?
Well, It doesn’t even make sense.Theodon, Galadriel, Denethor, thranduil all have to make difficult choices and commit various fuckups.About half a dozen elf leaders in first age were fucking things up constantly.
>>215604797DMs should read this before writing their own campaign.
>>215606171"And what of the orc babies in their little orc cribs?" George protested, straddling the bench in heaven like a french prostitute on a divan.Tolkien laughed. "Well surely my good man I imagine he would leave them be. They pose no threat, and are innocent but for their original sin, which is not for mortals to judge." He said, mirtfully. "Indeed perhaps he could then later collect taxes from them." Tolkien winked."Bah!" George proclaimed, shifting his massive weight to allow a humongous fart to escape his devilish bowels. "But the orc babies would grow up to resent him and his kingdom. By leaving them be, he has created but an invitation to further grueling conflict."Tolkien raised an eyebrow. "That is no different then leaving disagreeable men to live, wouldn't you say?" He asked. "Conflict is inevitable as long as there is free will, persisting without the guidance of God. That is the price we must pay for free action. And to the betterment of our final condition, I say, for what is valor, and bravery, and goodness, if no sin could ever take its place, no temptation was ever be resisted?"George, as if in protest, let out a particularly vile fart, following by an explosion of brown water, soiling both his pants and the bench."A fine display of bowel movement, but still not an argument" Tolkien said.
A lot of coping Tolkienbros here
>>215603582Any other (former) listeners of The Poz Button here? I have fond memories of the GoT episode, where they had a good laugh over this as well as "And what about all these orcs?" And that fat liberal boomer dressing like "an intellectual communist dock worker".
>>215603582>>215603811Is it really that hard for this fat retard to understand that everybody who reads this shit implies that yes, people are fucking and procreating and the kings do have their hardships but its not at all relevant to the story as a whole? Tolkien didn't need to write an entire chapter of the Tooks raw dogging the Tenderfoots on a grassy hill
>>215606489kek
>>215603582the best form of government is a singular good person deciding everything, the problem is if the ruler is not a good person
>>215603582>Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up she was shitting brown water. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew, and her thirst sent her crawling to the stream to suck up more water. When she closed her eyes at last, Dany did not know whether she would be strong enough to open them again.What was Aragorn's shitting policy?
>>215603602i wanna fuck that deer/gazelle
