"Ah, Harry. Harry m'boy. When was the last time you made a friend? Oh, you've made two. Good, good. Eaten any pumpkin pasties yet? Oh, Treacle Tart's your favourite. Good.""Listen, Harry. I will support you for as long as you are alive. I will bend every rule for you. I will protect you to the best of my ability. And in return, you will die at the hands of the dark lord you hate because I fucked up and let your mother die for you. Yes, Harry, it was me. I machinated the events that led to the death of your parents and your branding. And I also taught Tom Riddle at school and did nothing to stop him until it was too late. But when the time comes, I will torture you endlessly.""Oh, how I could be so cruel? I'm not cruel. At least, I'm trying not to be. I picked up a lot of practice dealing with Severus Snape. The poor boy was suicidal over Lily. Suicidal because I always favored James and never him. And then I convinced him to pine for her forever so he could save you. So yes, I have a decent amount of experience. About a decade of it. And if I die, I'll leave some needlessly cryptic clues for you that won't be apparent until the very end. Because you're a pussy, Harry."
>>216031656He didnt say it. I fact-checked it with AI.
I think the main problem here is having a house of literal confirmed bad guys.
>>216032045Agreed. Rowling should've made Harry be from Slytherin.
>>216032045Not all Slytherins are bad. The baddest people are in Slytherin, yes. But Slytherins are, as a whole, decent.
>>216032361slytherins are responsible for 100% of crimes against wizardry and at best 25% of wizard goodness
>>216032474>slytherins are responsible for 100% of crimes against wizardry>wizardryNo. Stopped reading there. Poo in the Loo.
>>216031656>SAAAAAAAAAS
>>216032193>be halfblood>put on skull measuring hat>it wants to put you in the race realist dormWhat were the Evans family hiding?
>>216033053James was a pureblood.
>when half-literate retard that was thrown out of school becomes a teacher and you can't
>>216031656I miss the dullest franchise poster
>>216031656Did dumbledoor actually orchestrate Harry’s parents getting found by Voldemort??Everything else checks out with the books for the most party but I don’t remember how/if this actually is part of the story.
>>216031656>"Ah, Harry. Harry m'boy. When was the last time you made a friend? Oh, you've made two. Good, good. Eaten any pumpkin pasties yet? Oh, Treacle Tart's your favourite. Good.">"Listen, Harry. I will support you for as long as you are alive. I will bend every rule for you. I will protect you to the best of my ability. And in return, you will die at the hands of the dark lord you hate because I fucked up and let your mother die for you. Yes, Harry, it was me. I machinated the events that led to the death of your parents and your branding. And I also taught Tom Riddle at school and did nothing to stop him until it was too late. But when the time comes, I will torture you endlessly.">"Oh, how I could be so cruel? I'm not cruel. At least, I'm trying not to be. I picked up a lot of practice dealing with Severus Snape. The poor boy was suicidal over Lily. Suicidal because I always favored James and never him. And then I convinced him to pine for her forever so he could save you. So yes, I have a decent amount of experience. About a decade of it. And if I die, I'll leave some needlessly cryptic clues for you that won't be apparent until the very end. Because you're a pussy, Harry."
>>216033499Last time I posted it jannie banned me.
>>216032361If Rowling was serious about keeping slytherin and writing them well there should have been a semi-sympathetic slytherin character before the second to last book.As it is up until half blood prince slutherin is just the house of posh, bully kids who say slurs, professors who give you demerits just to fuck with you and the literal dark lord.Rowling either should have made Draco a girl making the dynamics between her and Harry more complicated or just invent some new character who is a slytherin that isn’t a complete dick before boom 6.In the lore Merlin was a slytherin, they could have mad just about any of the other professors besides Harrid or mcgonnical a slytherin and it would have made sense.
>>216033623>If Rowling was serious about keeping slytherin and writing them well there should have been a semi-sympathetic slytherin character before the second to last book.Who is Severus Snape?>make Draco a girlhe was Daddy's girl.
>>216033499>posting authenticity in genuine inauthentic confirmed shill threads And even then, these threads aren't even made by locals anymore. It's all redditors looking for caps to take back to their reddit forum
>>216033623>Hogwats was founded in 10th century>Merlin is from 5th>Merlin was in Hogwarts
>>216033704>genuine inauthentic confirmed shill threads>"WAAAH! YOU'RE NOT DISCUSSING WHAT I WANT! SHILL! SHILL!"This is you.
Dullest Franchise
>>216032193But Harry wasn't evil.
>>216033709fake news
>>216033709If you actually want the universe explanation for this it’s that Merlin was a previous owner of the socerors stone.Hogwarts back then was more like a college then a boarding school, a place where practitioners studied magic and experimented rather than just read from a textbook
>>216033670>Who is Severus Snape?A dude who is not sympathetic till deathly hollows.In half the early books you spend half the time wondering if Snape is evil only for it to be revealed time and again that he isn’t (probably) but that doesn’t make him less of a prick.At the end of prince you think he’s just a fucking death eater basically and you don’t find out otherwise till the end of hollowsNone of this is bad for his character mind you’d; it’s actually pretty well done.But that still leaves us with the fact that until slughorn we don’t se any slytherin characters were made to sympathies with.Maybe you want to make the case that would make the end of the books more interesting as the main characters grow past the petty rivalries and personality differences that define the houses but in the last book they LITERALLYS send slytherin house to the dungeons during the battle of hogwarts.Malvoe and his family are the ONLY ones to sit in the slytherin section in the great hall after the battle.It just isn’t fleshed out or thought out like it needs to be.
>>216036100>Malvoeopinion discarded
bump
>>216031656Weaponizing incels is based though
>>216032045Would the hat read that I want to be a sleeper agent for Slytherin?If I'm racist and homophobic and mysoginistic, would he say "That's true Slytherin potential there. But to be the best slytherin you can be, you have to do it from inside another house"I wouldn't mind being placed in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff and made their lives hell from within.
>>216032045The (((goblins)))?
>LATE FOR CLASS WEASLEY???>AVADA KADAVRA!>HMM? LATE BECAUSE THERE WAS A GIANT SNAKE IN THE TOILET?>NEXT TIME COME UP WITH A BETTER LIE! >CRUCIO! CRUCIO! CRUCIO!!!! >DETENTION WEASLEY. >A TRIP TO THE FORBIDDEN FOREST SHOULD FIX YOUR TARDINESS! >NO!! I DONT CARE IF ITS FILLED WITH MAN-EATING SPIDERS, SOUL-SUCKING DEMENTORS AND VIOLENT RAPE CENTAURS!!! >I HATE YOU WEASLEY! I HATE YOU! YOUR OWN MOTHER HATES YOU! SHE'S OPENLY ADMITTED IT! >SHE RATHER HAVE HARRY AS A SON! YOU BUM ASS GINGER!!! >YES I'LL SAY THE HARD R ALL I WANT! IM FUCKING DUMBLEDORE! >AVADA KADAVRA! CRUCIO! SECTUMSEMPRA!!!! Dumbledore said calmly
>>216040392>Dumbledore points at a passing third year GIRL>”COCKULUS REPARO”>the girl grows a penis on her head>SEVEN MILLION POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR
look potter I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye but I would like to be your friend. Together we rule this school! What do you say, broski?
>>216040392dumbledore all like "yes i will have wizard hitler in my school but i'd never EVER say the n word"
>>216040392>sees Slytherin is ahead by 51,725 points>awards Gryffindor 51,726 points for braveryproblem snakeshits?
Someone once posted the funniest vocaroo of three different greentexts they read out as Dumbeldore. If any anon has it, that would be grand
