FUCK ME
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCujO6Ujw_o
>HURRY UP HURRY UP I NEED IT NOW>But chef it hasn't been cooked long enough>SHUT UP IT'S TIME TO SERVE>Uh, okay... here it is>WAIT WHY IS IT FUCKING RAW?I mean I know he's just giving the retarded audience what they want, but it's just so consistently fucking stupid.
>>216501035i noticed when i started cooking that they make them do hard, really easy to fuck up dishes like risotto and beef wellington a lot for drama
>>216501198>>216501035>You win a free restaurant as the HEAD CHEF with the protégé of the most famous modern chef to ever live backing you>can't cook dishesYou weren't born retarded. That was your choice.
pissi cuckitini
>>216500727This grill cheese is raw!
medium rare chicken is good
Civilians could never
>>216501035kek
>>216500727it's a disgrace to that bird's life
>>216501623ugly fat fuck suhuman
>>216501623Your bag of cancer and diabetes, Sir
>>216501623Thanks lad, the kinoplex isn't the same without me corn siders
>>216501623imagine the amount of his sweat drops also in this popcorn
>>216501623I hope Robert gives him that promotion he's been thinking about asking for.
>>216501678Normal emotionally regulated people don't get angry when they see images of fat people. You have enough issues that you don't need to be thinking about other people's.
>>216501198>risotto>easy to fuck uphow sway??
>>216501681kek
>>216502436Hopefully it tastes like an amalgamation of all his cultivated cuisine.
>>216502569Actual risotto obviously, not your rice and chicken stock boil.
>>216501198Real risotto takes forever to cook and I can’t figure out how they do it so fast on this show.
>>216500727Chicken à la Ja/ck/
>>216501623Bullshit. The Kinoplex needs cheese stations to dispense aged cheddar, havarti, and gruyere at proper intervals onto the popped corn. >just fake butterfucking gay
>>216502609yes, actual risottowhats easy to mess up about it for a non-developmentally stunted person?
>>216502565>Normal emotionally regulated people don't get angry when they see images of fat peoplewhat fucking world are you living on? obesity goes against nature and you're have to be an alien or a fucking robot to not have a visceral reaction to seeing one. being fat was the worst thing that ever happened to me and i deserved all the hate and vitrol i got until i fixed myself.
>>216501623Sad this guy had a coronary in 23. Rest easy butter chungus.
>>216502616Have you considered, that it's already cooked, and they're just heating it up.
>>216502616even in most restaurants, risotto gets cooked halfway and stored so that it can just be finished a la minute
>>216502710>you're have to be an alien or a fucking robot to not have a visceral reaction to seeing one. being fat was the worst thing that ever happened to me and i deserved all the hate and vitrol i got until i fixed myself.Based. Fuck fat people.
>>216502710>>216502732its always former fat guys, normal people just cant relate and see fatsos as part of the scenery
>>216501623>become greatest popcorn slinger of your generation >literally like Tom Cruise with bottles in the movie Cocktail>movie theaters disappear >have to work at county fair food trucks every summer to show talent >spend rest of year serving food at an elementary school serving mashed potatoes like a ninja to the cheers of 9 year oldsHollywood ruins another life
>>216502710>obesity goes against nature Bears.Every single mammal has fat and every mammal except humans see extra fat as a positive. The fattest bull, bear, moose, deer, hamster, rat etc.. always mates the most. Seek help, and a biology text book.Imagine trying this hard to cope with being emotionally unstable. It's sad really
>>216502672I'd ask you to post your recipe and cooking process, but we both know you're just going to copy and paste from a Google or chat GBT recipe.
>>216502710>being fat was the worst thing that ever happened to me Ah self loathing is super healthy. How's your relationship with your father?
>>216502787i asked you a very simple question and you deflecteddo you let it reduce too much because you get distracted by other shit? thats on youoverfill it so that you can let yourself get distracted by other shit? thats on youthe only remotely tough parts about making a risotto are about not being developmentally stunted and you apparently fail that test
Great television discussion.
>>216502868innit?
>>216500727THE FUCKMY WOIFE IS PREGNANTAYE, LOOK AT MELOOK AT MEARE YOU TRYIN TO KILL MOY WIFE BY GIVING HER UNDERCOCKED POIRK?
>>216502907YO GORDON WHAT IS THIS BRITISH FAG TALKING ABOUT? I AM THE TOKEN YANK AND THIS MAKES ME ANGRY, I COOK LIKE THIS FOR MY OWM FAMILY
>>216501678turn your monitor on
>>216502813>How's your relationship with your father?He died from overdrinking and heart trouble two (3) years ago. Why?
>>216502847Lmfao, thanks for telling on yourself. You add liquid throughout the process, dumping everything in all at once is for house wives in a rush making slop for their kids. You also don't boil a risotto unless you don't know what you're doing, you want the rice to simmer so it gently releases its starch. While adding too little liquid at just the right moments cooks the rice unevenly. Also you have to keep the broth warm without letting it reduce too much, since adding cold broth would fuck up the rice temp. Unless you're making quick slop because you're a tastelet, the entire process is supposed to be a delicate dance. You're adjusting constantly, adding perfectly temped broth and stirring at just the right amount to keep it from getting too gluey, mushy, or overcooked, and so that you don't break the grains. Then there's the salt and flavors in the broth that you have to constantly analyze as they concentrate while the liquid absorbed and evaporates. And let me guess, you don't even brown the onions and garlic then let them become a soggy mess as you over cook your rice and chicken broth slop? I bet you add all the cheese right as you bring it to a boil so it becomes a grainy mess. Did Mommy tell you you're a good cook or something? Because I guarantee she lied to you to try to instill some confidence in you.
>>216503001Haha, knew it. A lot of self loathing comes from bad father figures.
>>216502565>images of fat peopleThat's not a fat person. He's very obese. Super unhealthy, although maybe not as bad as drinking a fifth of vodka a day or shooting heroin.
>>216501623What happens if I don't want butter?
>>216503023It's still not a rational response to become angry seeing it. It's a display of emotional weakness.
>>216503056maybe, but this is 4chong, where we can say whatever tickles our fancy vagines
>>216503101Ok and if what tickles your feet is letting out your irrational emotions, expect to be called out for it.
>>216501035Based Gordon testing if his candidates have enough spine to stand up to him and not cave in under the pressure and send undercooked shit out.
>>216503012>You add liquid throughout the processyea like i said, dont overfill it>While adding too little liquid at just the right moments cooks the rice unevenly. dont overfill it>tempered brothdont put the burner too high>Then there's the saltdont overseason it? thats any dish>flavors in the brothjust dont take substandard broththeres way worse stuff in a pro kitchen than broth and if you keep on seething about it you will burn out and become the very subject of your ad hominem attacks, someone only cooking for his mother
>>216503116Or maybe... We don't reward emotional abuse in the workplace and reward abusers by hand picking subservient cucks to lick their boots for them.
>>216503135adding onto this, risotto is a popular talking point for cooklets because their marginally more skilled cooklet friends from within the industry overstate its difficulty
>>216503135>dont overseason it? thats any dishAnyone who's cooked actual risotto knows it's more complicated than that. You sound like a kid trying to be non chalant about a thing he doesn't actually understand.>theres way worse stuff in a pro kitchenNo one said there isn't, comparing the difficulty of dishes doesn't make this one easy. Yea having no legs is harder than having only one, that doesn't mean having one leg is easy.>ad hominem Google words before using them if you don't know what they mean. This is your last (you), go seek attention elsewhere kid.
>>216503200yea im thinking you need to get over that risotto thing or youll never get that promotionyou are a trained monkey, remind yourself of that and your ego will shrink (which is a good thing)
>>216500727come on let it cook
>>216501623God forbid somebody be good at and enjoy their job poppin' that shit.
>>216503115damn bro, you won, are you happy now?I'm going to do something nice for the next fat ass fat fuck I have the pleasure of running into.
>>216503307>I'm going to do something nice for the next fat ass fat fuck I have the pleasure of running into.Not the other anon but thats a based outlook in general
>>216502625Chicken Jacky!
>>216503012>the entire process is supposed to be a delicate dancebro saw one episode of chef's table and thinks risotto is hard
>>216503356Has jack cooked any fine dishes lately? or is he dead yet lmao?
>>216503359many such cases, idk what makes risotto the peak midwit dish
>>216502710>all the hate and vitrol i gotDid you really? My mom is the only person so far that has said anything since I got fat.
>>216500727https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdOXM3I_5hkNorm Macdonald 1Gordon Ramsey 0
>>216503421>video shows them getting along quite well
>>216503393pans is the first section you're sent to after larder (i.e. you trick yourself into thinking you're hot shit because you're working hot pans now instead of cold salad like the rest of the proles)
>>216500727I like that episode of his show where he tried to help failing resturants with the black lady running some soul food joint in just the worst fucking place to run a soul food joint and Gordon had nothing but glowing things to say about her cooking.
>>216503429Norm manages to throw Gordon off his game enough he has trouble staying in character
>>216503471It's pretty great.>Why would you become a cook?
>>216501035you're retarded because its partly >>216503116 and partly because the kitchen is genuinely behind and needs to get things on track. no, shouting isnt going to make it cook faster, but communications needs to happen up and down the line on what is being made, when, and how much longer until it is done. if you're falling behind, you need to figure out a way to multitask and be working something else (or get help to step in) so that you arent stuck behind for the whole night. if you cant catch up, then every second lost is lost for EVERY subsequent check.
>>216502769human nature, anon. not "nature in general".
>>216503516>erm actually its chef, birthing persons cook
Cooking is for women and gays.
>>216503596this post was sponsored my mommys chicken tendies
Bros, I just ran out of ice cream, no alcohol left, no nothing. How can I continue the night?
>>216503541>t. Never seen a jeet in his lifeThey favor fat as a culture. They are all short, fat and weak people. When is the last time anyone ever felt intimidated by a jeet
>>216503541>moving the goalposts lolo
>>216503855well i saw the great khali once
>>216503560The +POZZED+ tat always gets me
>>216500727Of all the foods in the world, why bongs?
I only figured out recently when I had to fly to Hawaii that Mele Kalikimaka is NOT the thing to say on a bright Hawaiian Christmas day, or any kind of Hawaiin Christmas day, or really ANY Hawaiin day in general. Because they made it up. I've been LIED to
>>216502762>serving mashed potatoes like a ninja to the cheers of 9 year oldsSounds fun
>>216501623I respect this.
>>216504141what a horrible thing they did to you...
>>216502569It takes long time and its very labor intensive to make one risotto and keep stirring and stirring and get the exact right consistency. And of course Gordon can decide to flip his wig over any tiny variance of consistency, level of cook on the rice or if he feels it is under seasoned whatsoever.
>>216501035the outside of the breast was done. you already fucked up if you get to this stage because if you "let it cook through" you'll have a burned outside by the time the thing is safe to eat. the point here is he fucked up irreparably from stage 1 and gordon caught him on it. he shouldve cut or pounded the breast thinner
>>216502996kek
>>216501623hey cmon get rhythmwhen you get the blues
>>216502565Americans make themselves so easy to spot
>>216503421Always love that part when Ramsey just lets Norm's shit slide out all over the place>well you did THAT! "oh look what Norm did!", you did it!That's the kind of shit Ramsey always did in his show, played with the food to make it look more fucked up. I love that Norm called him out on it.
>>216505293or you toss it in the warmer oven for a few minutesIf he wasn't fucking up chicken before that and keeping other orders from going out chicken is expected to rest for a few minutes anyways to be tender and come up to temp so a solid 7-10 minutes in a low oven is fine.
>>216501623>his only sense of pride is dedicated to serving popcornyou should be grateful
>>216506387Bro that was not even close to done. Letting it rest is not going make a difference in that dark pink center.
>>216501623handsome well fed ubermensch
>>216503356i thought he died
>>216506427>Letting it rest is not going make a difference in that dark pink centerno shit the point is that he shouldn't be so pressed for time that he can't toss it into an oven for a few minutes so that it cooks through
>>216506465Oh. Sorry.
>>216503521>you're retarded because its partly... and partly because the kitchen is genuinely...You're retarded if you think it's "genuine" anything. He rushes and screams at them to cause chaos, force mistakes and create drama, nothing more. It's for the show, that's it. It's why he's a completely different person in shows intended for the American market vs the European market.
>>216501035What type of person does ramsay even appeal to?
>>216506477No problem, its pretty normal for thicker breasts that you just have to accept searing it and then tossing it into an oven or on the upper racks of the grill or letting it poach in its pan sauce to finish it off. Its very hard to get a good crust with a slower pan cook on a cut with such little fat. Get it up to 155-160 internally, rest it another five minutes and it'll be good.
>>216503421>good to see everyone looking so healthy!
>>216500727At least I can make grilled cheese you wrinkled jimmy
>>216501623>Matinee Magnate boasting about his opulence by dancing around the countless kernels of popcorn his slaves mine day and night deep underground.
I can't think of a bigger meme job.Literally any grandma can cook better than these glorified retards.
I only ever cook chicken in the oven. I cant handle cooking it on a stove, I get scared about not cooking it enough so always just end up burning it just to be safeovens just work everytimeGordon cant make a grilled cheese and doesn't have enough temperature control to make scrambled eggs without constantly taking it off the heat every 5 seconds like a schizo so I think I'm right
>>216507110Unless you're checking it constantly for temperature you run the risk of drying it out (which chicken breast is especially at risk of) and if you are checking it constantly you might as well do it in a pan where you just watch it for 10 minutes and then are done.But Gordon is indeed a meme.
I'm not some fancy chef son of a bitch.I don't use thumb tests or thermometers or nothing.I'll literally cut the meat in half to check and just throw it back on there if it's not yet cooked enough for my liking.>Oh no you didn't seal the juices>You ruined the presentationI don't fuckin care
>>216507336>thermometers>fancyits like ten bucks brother and it helps for more than just meat
>>216501623do americans really drown their popcorn in sneed oil
>>216507336I dont appreciate you using a pepe so similar to mine right below my post and even copying my general attitude! And for such a shit opinion whereas mine was basedCutting the meat while it's still cooking is foul. I do not endorse
>>216505293They're portioned before the service, There would be no reason to cut it. And they don't pound them either. He simply fucked up timing and temps.
Frying is the best way of cooking. But your entire kitchen gradually gets coated in oil. There are particles of oil wafting around when you're frying, even with a low heat, shallow fry. I'd have to wipe every surface in the kitchen daily to avoid build up. Even the ceiling has oil on it. This is why the natural place to fry is outside. A frying pan over a flame in the garden.
>>216507755Just get yourself a deep fryer with a lid then.
>>216507755>Frying is the best way of cooking¡Dios mío!
Since this thread is here, I'd like to direct anons to a time where James May Mogged Gordon whilst being drunk:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NQ6YHPTfdghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwPmLwW1-PA
>>216501623based kino popcorn king
still though he got a real nice finish on the outside of that chicken. Just peel the cooked parts off the raw parts.
>>216503135>it's easy, just don't do it wrong and you can do it right
>>216500727how the fuck does this happen? t.cant cook
>>216506458hes strokemaxxing and salmonellamaxxing. basically invincible now
>>216508332too large breasts
>>216501623He's the pride of my hometown :)
>Line Chef vs Forklift Operatorwho wins?
>>216502747Ive never been fat and i had fat people vehemently
>>216508694>fingers too fat to hit the right keys
>>216503046They kick you out for being a fucking limpdick communist
>>216500727unironically how do you perfectly cook a breast like that?
>>216501623fat people fucking disgust me and I genuinely want them all dead yet I can’t stop jerking off to blonde bbws
This is why I only cook steakchicken is pretentious, it insists upon itself. 'oooh better cook me enough or I'll literally poison you' or 'cook me too long though and im gonna be dry and burnt as fuck' fuck off chicken breaststeak is your waifu who actually cares about your wellbeing and wants you to eat it. you can even eat it fucking raw. chicken is just a stuck up bitch
>>216502565this “person” is the reason why health insurance and health care costs so much in America, so yes, it does directly effect me
>>216508954>this “person” is the reason why health insurance and health care costs so much in AmericaHave you ever thought about what you just said? Is this what a lot of Americans think?There has never been a more brainwashed cucked nation in this world
>>216503046>butter
>>216507110>oil pan>nice and hot and sizzlin>5 mins one side >flip>5 mins other side >flip and cover>5 minschickens done!!
>>216509032I dont believe you
>>216509055I do it almost every night friend. Every stovetop is different but mostly the same, keep the heat at like 4 and you’ll be grand
>>216509032>>216509055Just make sure the breast isn’t stupidly thick like most food stores sell them these days. Just cut down the middle to make them thinner if needed
love how hells kitchen shows that women can only fucking cry and niggers are backstabbing racists
>>216507110>cut up chicken thighs>marinade it with ginger and lime for a few hours>fry it in onions mixed with turmeric>once it's all changed color and texture, add coconut milk>add chilis and simmer for flavorSolves all problems, if anything is slightly undercooked, the simmering process will finish anything off
>>216509067>>216509080Okay I will try it, I have chicken breasts in the fridge. If it's worse than my oven method though I will scream into the next cooking related thread I find on this board, mark my wordsAlso anyway I'd still recommend the oven to people because you can do like, ~6 chikky breasts at once on one tray and then you're set for the week. They're good for 5ish days in the fridge
>>216509162lmao I’m gonna be on the look out to see how it goes. Just make sure the pan gets hot before putting them down the first side, you want it to be hot enough so it starts sizzling. I dunno let it heat up for like 4-5 mins first I dunno how strong your stovetop flame is but I can imagine that’ll be hot enough
>>216509162Make a thread on /ck/ please so we can laugh
>>216506552Civvies like you wouldn't get it.
>>216509226got it. I'm also gonna cross reference your instructions with google so I'm not making mustard gas>>216509292very suspicious stuff here
>>216508334how many strokes has he had?
>>216502769Kek you are fucking stupid
>>216501623I can't believe it's not butter!https://www.thekitchn.com/this-is-whats-in-the-butter-from-movie-theater-popcorn-252323
>>216507989Can't fry noodles and rice and eggs and bacon in there though
>>216500727>Expecing a thick chicken breast to be cooked quickly..>Not butterflying cutting it.Do all "top chefs" really not understand things a basic home cook like me does.
>>216506552People who want to be in a position where they can abuse others.
the funniest shit to me is when gordon calls out an order and asks the entire team to repeat it, they do repeat it and then he asks them to repeat it again immediately afterwards and they somehow have already forgotten the order
>>216501035I want to kick Gordo square in the nuts.
>>216501623Revolting. Who would ever let that thing touch their food?
>>216508344I want to aknowledge what you're saying but at the same time have to refuse your statement
>>216500727>I NEED THAT CHICKEN IN 70 SECONDS!>Chef! We literally just got the order I'm throwing it in the pan now it'll take at least 10 minutes to cook through->FUCK ME! DONKEY! WHERE'S THE LAMB CHOPS?!>Chef?! What lamb chops?!>COME HERE YOU FUCKING IDIOT! LOOK OVER THAT AT THE TABLE! USE YOUR FUCKING EARS! CAN'T YOU HEAR?! THEY'RE ORDERING LAMB CHOPS FROM THE WAITER RIGHT NOW SO WHERE ARE MY LAMB CHOPS?!>I guess I'll go start them chef!>START THEM?! JESUS CHRIST! FUCKING IDIOTS THE LOT OF YOU! WHERE'S MY CHICKEN?!>Chef! It's only been 60 seconds since you asked->SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BRING THE CHICKEN! GIVE ME THAT KNIFE YOU FUCKING IDIOT! LOOK AT THIS IT'S STILL PINK IN THE MIDDLE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL DOING?! IT'S BEEN 80 SECONDS AND NONE OF YOUR ORDERS ARE READY! FUCKING AMATEURS!
>>216501621E Coli bacteria phalanges typed this
>On this episode of Kitchen Nightmares, world famous Grilled Cheese chef, Gordon Ramsay, visits a family-owned restaurant in Mofatt, Colorado >INT. MARK'S BUSINESS>Ramsay looking around >*waterphone sting*>"YOU, the jew enslaver looking type" *points to Egyptian owner*>"Y-yes sir, I MEAN chef!" >"Tell me, this place is called Osiris's Oasis, you cheeky bastard?" >"Sir yes chef!" >"And, you donut, would that be said God decorated on the walls?" "Sir yes chef!" *sounding increasingly despondent*>"What you have DOESN'T display the God of fertility, but displays a God with a falcon for a head. That is NOT OSIRIS YOU CROOKED TONGUE!" >*sobbing, knowing his great grandfather's business is over* "S-sir y-ye-" >"IT'S FUCKING RA!"
>all these posters who have only watched HELLS KITCHEN US and not even the raw uncut version on youtubethey cut out so much of gordon handholding them just for them to still fuck it up, as well as the fact that its filmed weekly and they spend the entire week practicing the dishes that will be on the service nightgordo did nothing wrong
No
>>216509089Women have won the show many times dude
