>>216531371
one for my left hand and one for my right

I want my vacation day approved for Christmas

I want my office moved next to the women's bathroom.

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>I want a blu-ray copy of Die Hard shoved up my ass on Christmas

>>216531371
seriously tho how am i supposed to get DRUK off one drink ticket

>>216531639
You bring a flask of whiskey and put it in the inside pocket of your jacket.

>>216531639
You trade your tickets or beg them from people that don't drink, there's always some

>>216531371
>I want to be 6 ft tall

>>216531639
Give the bartender a fat tip at the start and they'll give you drinks without punching your card or taking your tickets. Works for me.

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>>216531371
I always use my first two quickly, coast a bit, then get more from my coworkers. most of the time they just offer them to me and I don't have to ask. what a life

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>>216531639
amateur. start doing this

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>>216532375
TITCR

I want a regular gift exchange with a $20 limit, not white elephant

>>216532835
this is me with 3 am water

and also tequila

>doctor put me on ssris for nervous-type problems
>drinking just makes me sick and miserable now
I miss it. I miss it a lot