The hour is later than you think. Santa is already moving. The nine have left the north pole
>so many wreaths>what can halls do against such reckless decking?
>>216837541>For I am Saruman the Jolly, Saruman Gift-maker, Saruman of Red and White!
I am a servant of the secret Santa! The red nose shall not avail you reindeer of the North Pole! You shall not guide the sleigh tonight!
>>216837541>"It is a gift, a Christmas gift from our friends in Mordor."
CANT TAKE HIS NOG. HAHAHAHAHA
>>216839094NO MORE CHARADES TILL WEVE HAD A BREATHER
Jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell rock
And now you tell me Saruman has been naughty. The nice list grows thin
Why didn't they just fly on Rudolph's sleigh to Mordor?
Santa isn’t real.
WHERE IS THE PRESENT? IS IT SECRET? IS IT SAFE?
Do you know how the Grinches came into being?They were Whos once
Many with gifts deserve coal. And some with coal deserve gifts. Can you give it to them?
>The wealth of Moria is not in gold or jewels, but in Peppermint!
>>216837541>There's a jolly voice in the air.>It's Santa Claus!
>>216839903>They're taking the presents to Isengard!
>>216837541>My Christmas guests shall arrive within the hour, master hobbit... Is all prepared for their... Arrival?>Yes, m'lord.>The archers? the boiling oil?!>Yes, m'lord. All is ready.>And Santa's annual tribute of cow milk and sweetened biscuits?!>Yes, m'lord.>Good... That shall lure him into my clutches... Do you sing Christmas songs, master hobbit? WELL, DON'T... They've been singing them for a fortnight already and I can stand no more!
>Can you sing Christmas carols, master elf?
>When you unwrap your present, think better of me father.
>>216841426>you wish that you had received Boromir's gift instead of mine.>yes, I wish that.
>I wish these socks had never come to me>I wish none of them were wrapped>So do all who receive soft presents, but that is not for them to decide>All we get to decide is what to do with the gifts that are given to us
>Santa does not account for the real economy of Christmas>the drop in stock values due to naughtiness is never brought up>will Santa destroy the labubus?>in their little naughty boy cribs?
>Today is my 111th Christmas!
>Destroyed the forest for a tree farm?! A wizard should know better!
>>216841605I was literally in the middle of typing this wtf
>The North Pole: City of the Elf Lords and the Great Claus.
>Who am I, Ellington?>You are our Santa, sire>And do you trust your Santa?>Your elves will follow you to whatever end>To whatever end?>Where is the sleigh and the rider?>Where are the bells that were tingling?>They have passed like snow on the mountain, like wind through the firs>The days have gone down on the Winter, over the wreaths... into holly...
plumsplums in the deep>*huge flaming pudd' appears from the shadows*
>>216841908Carols... Carols in the deep...
>>216837541>>216839094>>216839780kek, well done.
>Hohoho... You have no power here, Santa the Claus!
>>216841426That would depend on the value of its return.
Three Gifts for the Elven-kings under the sky,Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,One for the Red Lord on his gingerbread throneIn the Land of Northpole where the Reindeers lie.
>Never thought I'd be making toys with an elf.>What about making toys with a friend?
Cast the cookie into milk! Soak it!
>They were once elfs.
>>216842459>Wrap, you fools!
>>216842298Three French hens for the Elven-kings under the sky,Seven swans-a-swimming for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,Nine ladies dancing for Mortal Men doomed to die,And a partridge in a pear tree for the Jolly Saint on his mall chair,In the land of Lap where Reindeer lie.
Tell me where is Santa, for I much desire to make merry with him
>>216842522>We cannot wrap it! None of us can! It must be returned to the department store from whence it came!
>>216839804Reonder are fickle creatures
>>216842602>Small>pre->-sents.>Buy 'em.>Wrap 'em.>Stuff 'em in a stockin'.
>Wake up! It's Christmas morning! Let's go look at the presents!
>>216842591He was taken by both Cookies and Milk. A Naughty child of Pagan. For we went needlessly into the net of Europe.
>Saruman cuts down the forest at this time of year... He has his orcs take their trunks to a field beside highway 15 just west of Thompsonvill but before you get to the Burger King. They sell these trees to people for holiday decoration. The gold is used to fund Saruman's machines construction. Saruman claims all of this as a tax deduction.
>He took a little tumble off the roof!
>>216842290underrated
>You shall not pass, Grinch of Udun!
>>216839375heh
>>216838982kek
WE AIN'T GOIN' NO FURTHER, TILL WE'VE HAD A CAROL!
Sam, do you know the santalales plant?Santalales?Mistletoe!Mistletoe? Aye; it has berries.It may help to spread the cheer.
>>216842896GET THE BELLS GOING!
>>216841688sensible chuckle for the ms painthave a (you)
We ain't had nothin' but Mariah Carey for three stinking days!
>I'm delivering these presents alone!>Of course you are, and I'm coming with you!
>>216842971>Looks like ______ is back on the playlist, boys!what should it be?
>>216842747... W-why does Santa have a metal dildo in his hand?... Why is it chained to his pants?
>>216843129it's for girls in the naughty list
You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and VixenComet and Cupid and Donner and BlitzenBut they were all of them, deceived. For another reindeer was made.
>Finally!>The old elf will come down the chutes of chimneys.>Cookies and Milk.>And new presents will arrive.>We will spread the holiday cheer with the tree and the gift and the creamy egg of the nog.
>>216843160Oh, no... I had hoped it was a utility spoon for retrieving cookies from milk. Once again, Christmas is ruined forever.
>They come with gifts. They come with carols. >Singing, giving, sharing, feasting, mirthing….>Santa and his reindeer, bless them!!
>How long has it been since Krampus bought you?>What was the promised price? When all the good children are dead you would take your share of the presents?
>He's one of them gifters. Generous folk they are, wandering the aisles. What his right name is I've never heard, but around here he's known as Santa.
>I asked Santa for but one gift from his amazing workshop. He gave me three.
>>216843398>I can avoid being seen if I wish. But to sneak in past children's prying eyes and deliver a bagful of presents under the tree, that is a rare gift.
>about to get drunk and do my yearly rewatch of Fellowshipcan't wait bros. been looking forward to it for months
>>216843178kek good one
>Do you remember Christmas, Mr. Frodo?>It'll be the holiday season soon, and they'll be decorating the trees with the ribbon and tinsel>The doves will be nesting in the holly thicket>And they'll be drinking the first cups of eggnog with cinnamon>Do you remember eggnog, Mr. Frodo?
>We had one Christmas morning yes, but what about second Christmas?
>>216843081without question
>>216843178popped me
>>216843503>No Sam, I can't recall the taste of eggnog, nor the sound of carols, nor the feel of wrapping paper.
>>216843491No theaters near me doing the 25th anniversary screenings. So just at home as usual. My son is into it now and has been asking when we're gonna watch them again.
>>216843528based
>My...Christmas present!
>>216837541good thread
>>216843552>I am naked in the snow. There is nothing between me... and the sack of coal!
>>216843669watching lotr should be a yearly christmas ritual
>>216843767It is.
>>216843704>then let us be rid of it>I can't get you on the nice list mr frodo, but I can share my gifts!
>>216842290holy shit
>St. Nick is never late.>Nor is her early.>He delivers precisely when he means to.
>>216843081https://youtu.be/hiRjmD9h-YY
>>216842562Underrated
>The lord of the Christmas sees all. He knows if you've been nice or naughty.
>>216845524based!
>>216837541Ahahahaha!
>>216843081https://youtu.be/R6QrAa5v454?si=H28FLZDt2ovCQxw6
>>216845524Thanks anon. This entire thread has sent my sides into orbit (hopefully to be caught by Santa’s sleigh)
>>216837541Retarded Jewish Hollywood holiday based on pagan worship of Saturn.
heh.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiRjmD9h-YY
>>216846257\m/
>>216846257it's crazy to think that all his metal recordings he did in isolation without knowing what they'd be used with
>You see much Eomer, son of Eomund.>Too much>You are on the naughty list forthwith!
>>216842522>>216842602>>216842644kekd and checkd
>>216842712lmao
>>216843268>Many of these trees were my friends, creatures I had known from nut and acorn; many had voices of their own that are lost forever now. And there are wastes of stump and bramble where there were singing groves.
>>216842712One of the best orcs.
>I can ship presents speedily if I wish, but to deliver in one night entirely, that is a rare gift
>By Black Friday, this workshop will be swarming with elfs.
>The halflting was dear to thee, I see. Know that he jollied greatly at the hands of his host. Who would have thought that one so small woud endure so much cheer?
>Caroling is hard. This was maybe my answer to Tolkien, whom, as much as I admire him, I do quibble with. Lord of the Rings had a very yuletide philosophy: that if the king was a good boy, the presents would come. We look at real history and it’s not that simple. Tolkien can say that Aragorn became king and reigned for a hundred Christmases, and he was on the nice llist. But Tolkien doesn’t ask the question: What was Aragorn’s holiday labor policy? Did he maintain a Christmas village year round? What did he do in times of flood and famine? And what about all these grinches? By the end of the war, Sauron is gone but all of the grinches aren’t gone – they’re in the mountains. Did Aragorn pursue a policy of systematic genocide and kill them? Even the little baby grinches, in their little grinch cradles?
>He has taken the chimney and the cookies with milk. We have barred the living room, but cannot hold him for long. His belly shakes. Jingles... jingles in the deep. We cannot get out. A jolly shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out. Santa is coming.
>>216846997>They have a red nosed reindeer
>>216846997Kek
>>216846872
>>216847133The bad guys were always so squishy.
>>216843398>Santa?>Santa....oh yes i remember. Elderly chap, big white beard and a pointy hat>Not seen him for twelve months
>>216847133>guess that concludes celebrations...
>>216840519kek
>>216840547>What's the Spanish word for Merry Christmas?>"Feliz Navidad"
>>216837541You don't have any gifts! Santa doesn't like you!
>>216838982Saved, thanks anon.
The Christmas has changed.I see it in the eggnog.I feel it in the presents.I smell it in the cookies.Much that once was is lost,For none now live who celebrate it.
>>216842562THE JINGLE BELLS OF NORTH POLE WORSHOP SHALL SOUND IN THE SNOW, ONE LAST TIME
>What are we holding onto Sam?>That there's some Christmas spirit in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth getting merry for.
>come sing me a carol
>No presents for Denethor and Faramir. No brightly wrapped gifts of Christmas cheer. We shall burn like the heathen kings of old.>Bring coal and oil!
>>216847842faggot made me click on that
>>216842290
>>216846857>Give them a present, for Christmas' sake!
>No parent should have to wrap their own presents.
>>216848025>iiiiiiiiiiii>dont want a lot foooor christmaaas
>>216839375lol
>>216842712You lie!
