Did Bilbo not like girls?
He never settled, then the only hobbit pussy he could get was old used up hags, so he gave up.
>>216974607he was what kids call a sigma
>>216974607>never gets married>never around women>what few women he knows he hates>instantly takes in his young, impressionable nephew when his parents die mysteriouslyUuhhh..
>never had relations with women>lives with nephew who also never had relations with women>Bilbo is very secretive>the locals literally call him "queer" in the book
>>216975012Gandalf carved a "queer symbol" on Bilbo's front door at the beginning of the Hobbit so that a group of hairy, bear kike, men could show up to a secret get together.
>>216974607minus sam, the hobbits in these movies seemed largely asexual
>>216975061>a bunch of hairy dudes enter Bilbo's "hobbit hole">this has never raised eyebrows in the shire
>>216975087It raised all kinds of questions. All of the Shire were whispering behind the Baggins' boys of BallBag End's backs
>>216974607When you're happy with your life you don't need hoes, sex or degenerate excesses, he only wanted adventures to write.
One effect of pipe-weed is that it helps relax the sphincter.
>>216975087>Shove this in the hole, brother, otherwise we'll never get everyone in"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zrv5N-TYAc
>aye sounds like ole bilbo's getting dwarved again
>>216975066It's a form of population control. Don't want to over run the Shire with children. Besides, Tolkien states they just like to chill, smoke, eat, and play in the garden. Bilbo likes to write and be at peace. A nagging wife wouldn't help any of that. And Tolkien was religious. That means he's not going to write his characters being promiscuous, running around the shire knocking boots with everyone. Sex is after marriage and monogomous. Bilbo just couldn't be bothered with all that. Frodo may have gotten around to it but his journey left him permanently mentally scarred
>>216974607he had knife ear fever but they are BMC only
>>216974607Frodo was his groomed boywife
>>216974607More like Dildo FAGGINS
>>216974607He's too Tookish to live a normal life. Gandalf sensed he was always going to be a bit queer and different than the rest of the Shire. And Bilbo sensed this in Frodo as a young lad and adopted him as his heir because of it
>>216974607Because Bilbo Baggins realized that women are stupid and dumb. As Bilbo was a writer, and a nagging wife from the countryside wouldn't help with that.>>216975053>>216975061The word queer back then just meant strange, not a faggot.
Sam was his illegitimate son.
>>216974607he only loved weed
>>216975061>"CHIP THE GLASSES CRACK THE PLATES THATS WHAT BILBO BAGGINS HATES" echoes through the valley>bilbo is having a 13-dwarf musical train ran on his ass on the dining room table >gandalf turns his head slightly towards the camera and winks, blowing a smoke ring
>>216974607He already has a cock ring, why does he need women?
>>216974919>>216974985Isn’t bilbo a chad hobbit?
>>216978718he's the wierd trust fund kid who disappears on international travel for years at a time and you realize he was just hanging out with creepy schizos on the sides of streets and in the woods, and you can't tell if he's wrecked his mind with drugs or not.>you see, there was this dragon, right?everyone at the tavern just wants him to shut the fuck up with his ridiculous ass stories
