What's the scientifical explanation for why come Sauron didn't just make a magic butt plug and shove it up his ass? Then it wouldn't be at risk of getting cut off
Because there are like 20 other rings that it's supposed to control. Making into a buttplug means all the other ones must be buttplugs as well. No way the dwarves would've stuck something up their ass no matter how much power it would grant them. The elves definitely would have though.