>Give The Ring to Tom Bombadil, you fools!
>>217349701>2026File, you fools...
>>217349701>This Balrog is really heavy
>>217349701Tom straight up said he'd just lose it. Then some dumbass troll or goblin would stumble across it and become Sauron's right hand as darkness overcame Arda.
>>217349701why didn't they just fly one of those big ass birds straight to mordor? bing bang boom job done
>>217349701He didn't say that.
help me up you fucking fags
>>217350056mostly because they would be bombarded out of the air, but also because the eagles dont want to
>>217349701why didn't he just cast a Jump spell?
>>217349701Tom Bombadil does not want the ring and it doesnt work on him. In books Frodo gives it to him.
>>217349701Why didn't Frodo eat the ring so it couldn't tempt him and then shit into mount doom?
>>217352069It would have attached to his sphincter and all his shits would be invisible, and evil.
>>217350056They are a proud people, not to be summoned on a whim.
>>217349701>tfw the subtitles for mine said "Frodo you fool"I thought he was cursing him with his dying breath
>>217350056>why didn't they just fly one of those big ass birds straight to mordor?Mind of RLM watching millenial shatters.
>>217349701Tom is a massive dick and would throw it directly toward the big eye thing.
>>217352186let me know when you successfully hit a flying plane with a crossbow.
>>217350056Why didn't the eagles just 360 noscope sauron?
>>217352246That's a ballista, and eagles aren't going fast enough to dodge dozens of them firing at them.
>>217352069>Why didn't Frodo eat the ring so it couldn't tempt him and then shit into mount doom?It was a LONG trip. He either would have to hold in his shit the entire time, which was likely impossible. Or worse, sift through his shit after every dump and swallow the now shit-encrusted ring time and again. Nobody wants to watch a movie about a guy eating shit.
>>217352069The ring would expand and destroy his rectum.
>>217350056They could have just tied the ring to a mouse and told it that if it delivers the ring to mount doom and comes back it'll get all the cheese it wants and a harem of different archetypes of girlmice to breed>gothgirlmouse>tomboygirlmouse>princessgirlmouse>egirlmouseJust to name a few
>>217352069I laughed way too much reading that
>>217349701Tom would have sat in his forest until sauron came and raped him
>>217350056I always thought it was because the Eagles were lazy/prideful fucks who were like "Nothing ever happens, mankind are inconsequential to us" the whole war until the very end when they realized "Oh shit, this might actually bite us in the ass if we don't step in".
>>217353671i did a marathon with some friends recently and we kept making "evil-ass rape X" riffs the whole movie and it was the funniest thing everyou never realized how much tolkien loved sodomy until you put it under a lens
why the fuck is no one guarding this?>inb4 saurons le hubrisno
>>217352246Sounds like youre falling for russian propaganda, sweetie.
>>217349701ACCEPTED HARHAR
>>217352492Ok but what if Frodo shits it out and then makes Sam eat it and then he shits it out and tells Gollum he can have the ring if he eats it
>>217353704It was pointless, it was just a volcano since Sauron never thought they would be able to reject the ring power and destroy it.>>217350056They don't care for the troubles of men
>>217349701Discussed and rejected at the council.>>2173537041) It's not hubris. Sauron knew that no one could resist the ring. He was right to think so.2) There had been an entire army stationed around the mountain.
>>217353704Sauron never imagined anyone would launch an attack on his home turf
>>2173500561) Flying the ring to Mordor would have done nothing but save time. Time didn't matter. It wasn't an issue until Aragorn goaded Sauron into launching his attack on Minas Tirith ahead of schedule. Frodo had the ring for decades until Gandalf uncovered its origin. The Fellowship took a month's vacation in Lothlorien halfway through their journey. They took two months to leave Rivendell. It had been about 2,000 years since the wizards arrived in Middle-earth to deal with Sauron to begin with. There was no rush.2) The ring couldn't simply be dropped into the caldera of Mt. Doom. There's a reason why Frodo didn't just throw it into the first lava flow he came across. The ring couldn't be destroyed by lava outside of the (subterranean) forge. It could only be unmade where it was made. Why? Because magic. That's how it worked.3) Sauron had an entire army stationed around Mt. Doom. Until it was sent towards the black gates the entire mountain was protected.4) The only chance the fellowship had of success rested on the fact that Sauron didn't think that his enemies would attempt to destroy his ring. He believed that no one could overcome the ring's corruption (and was completely correct in thinking so, too). Aragorn tricked Sauron into believing that he had the ring. If Sauron knew that the ring was approaching Mordor, or was not with Aragorn, he could have surmised what Gandalf was planning. A suicidal air raid on his HQ would have been a fairly obvious tip-off that something was going on.5) The ringbearer would still be susceptible to the ring's influence and control, as would the eagles themselves since they are sapient.
>>217353704Sauron wanted an actual plot hole on the side of his mountain
Everytime with this dumbass question. Okay retards get this, them giant eagles could have been intercepted by orcs or the eye n shit. 2 hobbits (pure hearts) and a sméagol (corrupted) don't draw too much attention, also what >>217351315 anon said>inb4 eye of sauron knows where ringbearer is and the nazgûl can sense the dumb ringThe lower dark creatures, that take up the frontlines, lack insight and can't hear nor respond to their dark lords with haste>inb4 ur making stuff up nowCope and go ask Tolkien, u know I'm right
>>217350056Because the moment the Ring gets near Orodruin it would be supercharged and override the will of the bearer, like it did with Frodo, or make the eagles no nuts like it did with Boromir. The moment the bearer would try to claim it, Sauron would be aware. Besides a giant eagle flying to Mordor would be noticed like before. And the One Ring had to be cast inside the Sammath Naur, a specific point inside Orodruin. The eagles would had to land, the Ring Bearer enter the chamber and the same shit that happened in the book would happen.>>217349701Gandalf and Elrond stated verbatin that Tom would forget about and lost it or that he couldn't resist Sauron armies forever trying to enter in his domain to take the Ring.
