>"I know what you’ve been doing. I know why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night you sit at your computer."
>>217394750If they need me to build a dwarf fortress, I'm their man.
>>217395165alright this is way too specific to me LOL
>>217394750>You're scared to be a man, anon. You're a child.
Rewatched recently, some really great split second shots I never noticed before.
>>217396970>1280x533
>>217396976Oh god damn it, hold on one sec I'm phone posting and it got resized
>>217396898Nah, im just middle aged and stopped giving a fuck.
>>217396976
>>217394750>"...now dodge this."
>>217397405jeet
>>217394750 I blame my parents for holding me back developmentally or intruding and putting up barriers when i had opportunity to grow, do and be better. I actually did want to do something with myself, but my parents are retarded and legit ruined my life.
>>217396970>>217397336Where'd all the color go in the 4k version?
>>217397590I just have aspergers, but my mom thought and thinks it's a completely disabling disability and ruined my life. She was always against my independence and being away from her. Everything was always justified with how it was going to negatively effect her, even when things mostly didnt have to do with her or need her input, direction, or dictation. When I proved to her that she was wrong, like times before, she got pissed and gave the last death blow. I wanted to succeed, and I knew I could do it. Felt it in my gut, my heart, I had the fire burning inside of me and I wanted to go out there and do something and be something. I'm 35 and she still has me by the balls, when all of this is her working. I actually had a chance to get out of here, had a car I could have bought, had a good job in line, and she fucking kneecaps me again right at the most convient moment.
>>217397635screenshots can't show HDR info
And I can't comprehend this, because it makes no scence. Why the fuck would you want your son to be a complete depressed, fat, alcoholic, still living at home? Seeing me miserable, fat, unhealthy, alone, unloved, unfulfilled, and drinking myself to death doesn't break their hearts? It doesn't hurt them to see someone that wanted and could have done some much just rot in a pile of pity, depression, and the constant feeling of not actually living but just existing?
>>217397679It was always called "help", but I helped myself more when my parents weren't up my ass all the time. That's when things changed with myself and my life was when they'd back off. But that was a rare occasion, but help was nothing but something said to sound nice and make them look good. "Help", was the destruction of a human being and forcing me into a life that I didnt fucking want or ask for. And have thay stupid bitch in the way or fucking something up ever time I was trying to better myself in someway. I even moved out, and she made it so bad for me and my roommates, to the point they were pretty much crying, wanting her to leave them alone, and wanted me kicked out. She didnt stop until she had my ass again knowing I had nowhere to go and taking full advantage of it.
>>217397405I rather not
>>217397756Then, I get dragged to this redneck ass fishing town on the south eastern NC coast. There's nothing here, no scene of any kind, no culture, no fun, no nothing. The median age here is like 45+, but fuck it, because of her and this bullshit i basically missed out on my 30s. I didn't get to go out to bars, talk to women, date, anything. Then just get the grandiose idea that im going to just fix everything when I leave here. Then come to the fucked up realization that im not, and if I do I'll never be able to do shit but work and scrape by.
>>217397900I should kill.myaelf because its so over, but the human ego and this weird feeling of hope keeps you going you know? Even though I have a non existent future and will never be where I should be..and wanted to be, genuinely, and wanted to put in that work man..just..fuck. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk
>>217397930You can have anything you want if you work for it. You just have to keep trying.
>>217397945I'm 36 this year and still at home.It's over, the time I had was spent in depressive stagnation, or trying to get the fuck away from my parents. I will never have the life thay others have, or will be on their standing. They say comparison is bad, but there's things you need to do at certain periods of your life. I should have a car, a career, a wife, a place of my own, friends, hobbies, a social life. I learned for healthiness, I learned for better things and a life. And I tried, and tried, the problem being them, my depression, and later on alcoholism mixed in for obvious reasons.
>>217398008>learned I meant "yearned". Fucking autocorrect
>>217394750>why you live aloneThis implies you have a job to afford an apartment or house. Modern day Neo would be living in his parents basement.
I'm just suicidally depressed and spent a good 5 years in and out of sleep and barely functioning.Probably have a severe brain problem now. Only escape was books and my dreams. For a while after that I found purpose and happiness but it was in being happy for people not myself. I only have a few more years and I can leave.
>>217398008Failure isn't when you fall. It's when you stop getting up.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxGRhd_iWuE
>>217398083Yeah and im not playing into that toxic positivity shit. Its done and over, it'll take years to get out of here realistically. Big part of it's being unemployed and have literally no money.
>>217398127You're not poor. You just don't know how to sell your assets.
>>217398143Im pretty sure im poor.
>>217398253You will be rich some day. You just need to try.
>>217398127Get a job and earn some money then.>But x, y and z!!!Don't care, take the first step. Get a job, earn some money and give yourself some opportunities.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNPV5c2Verc
>>217398008Anon? You were neither born nor created to live your life in chains. Man shall be what he was born to be: free and independent. God made you this boat, but you have to row it. your situation is dire, but if you have that blazing hearth within your heart to make any sort of stride to change, then you need to feed that fire. The booze and your mothers coddling held you back, but the comparisons to others lives and situations does you no favours at all. Every day we wake up, history is being made and yes, you too participate and partake within that. Its never too late to change. Ever.
>>217397590Yeah, I know this feeling. Both my boomer parents were child abuse survivors with grade 8 educations who were completely emotionally unstable.
>>217398270>>217398300>>217398312You're proving the guys point
>>217398322Both of my parents were horribly abused, and very emotionally unstable.
>>217398329Because it works you fucking dweeb"I have no money or opportunity"Then get a fucking job, make some money and at least give yourself a little opportunity by having some money. It will give you options.But threads like this are pointless. It's just people whining who want attention or to vent. They don't want to change, so any advice be it tough or soft is utterly wasted.Do fuck all then and wallow.
>>217397679Chin up anon, bet you're a good guy
>>217394750fuck she knows im a gooner
>>217398363>almost 40>just work broMaybe you need to realize that not everyone gets redemption or gets themselves out of a shitty place in life. Not everyone has a happy ending or life.
>>217398394Yes, you literally have half of your life left. Start taking steps to make it worth living and for the absolute love of shit pull yourself together and stop fucking wallowing.I'm almost 40 too and in the same situation as you after nearly a decade of extreme and almost literally crippling depression. Will it cure your depression? Most likely not. It didn't do it for me, but it will give you opportunities you want. It will give you things to do that take your mind off the bad shit. I got back into photography recently and have been enjoying that. It takes my mind off shit when I go for a photo walk or fall into a youtube rabbit hole about gear and editing and shit like that.It's not a miracle cure, it'll be tough and work in increments, but IT WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTERJust for the absolute love of shit stop whining and coming here wallowing only looking for people to justify your whining and then shoot down every single person trying to give advice.You're almost 40. Time to grow up, take some responsibility and take some action.I know it's not what you want to hear and you will shoot down what I say, but you know I'm right and I know you will feel better if you just fucking start. So just fucking start anon. Just fucking start already.
>>217397635Up ur bum and around the corner
>>217394750Yeah, it's because I'm the chosen one. I know.
>>217396970God I wish i was Carrie-Anne Moss' sweat filled latex pants
>>217397336>me in the back
>>217394750Gooning?
>>217398470Sometimes you have to admit, Shit just didn't work out for you.
>>217398556Her pants are on so fucking tight, the only way to suck a fart out of them is by putting your mouth over both the holes in the legs, feet included.
>>217397636>I actually had a chance to get out of here, had a car I could have bought, had a good job in line, and she fucking kneecaps me again right at the most convient moment.Sounds very unlikely, what could she possibly do to stop you from doing that? Chain you to a radiator?
>>217399286>Sometimes you have to admit, Shit just didn't work out for you.Children dying of cancer get to say that, you on the other hand are just a crybaby autist.
>>217399347No, you aren't getting it. He wasn't speaking figuratively. She LITERALLY kneecapped him. It was all over after that.
>>217397636sounds like you only want things but don't actually try to get them and think your mom should have done it for you
>>217399405Very wrong
>>217399449>Very wrongWhy are you ignoring my questions?>>217399347>Sounds very unlikely, what could she possibly do to stop you from doing that? Chain you to a radiator?
