The Dark Tower fucking sucks and I'm not talking about the film, I'm talking about the book series. The first 3 are great but it goes so far off the rails it's insane even for KingSlop. Incase anyone isn't familiar, here's a quick run down:>one of the protagonists is a wheelchair bound schizophrenic black woman that the other protagonist, a heroin addicted white guy, falls in love with>the bad guys of the 5th book are a group of robots that cosplay as Dr. Doom and actually, non-ironically use Lightsabers from Star Wars and explosive Golden Snitches from Harry Potter as weapons>King inserts himself into the series in book 6 and makes himself the most important character in the entire series, turning it into a meta-narrative, because if the "bad guys" win and kill Stephen King, then he'll never be able to finish the dark tower book series and the multiverse will fall to darkness>The final boss of the book series, the Crimson King (who is also heavily implied to be Pennywise from the IT series btw), a wizard of supposed unimaginable power, sits at the entrance of the Dark Tower and battles Roland by throwing more Harry Potter snitches at him (yes they're actually from Harry potter, they make several statements about this)>he is then erased from reality by a deus ex machina character introduced at the 11th hour who has the unexplained 'Shining' power of making his paintings come trueOh yeah, and the Man In Black is killed off by Rolands half-demon spawn that he conceived in a complicated gambit of transferring his sperm to a hermaphrodite demon which was then transferred to the previously mentioned schizo wheelchair bound niggress while she's being raped in the 3rd book.If anyone was curious, you're welcome for saving you the time of going through 7 shitty books just for Roland to be time looped back to the start of the first book when he reaches the dark tower.If the movie were anymore faithful to the books than it was it would've been even worse
>>217455690What's with all the run down Back to the Future 2 gas stations on the way to where reality gets wonky near the tower and what are the train tracks and what was that empire and what did it do and what did the man in black say to the woman at the saloon to make her kill herself if she heard it that he promised her would happen?
>>217455690>King inserts himself into the series in book 6 and makes himself the most important character in the entire seriesthis is hilarious
>>217455755Those are good questions! The answer is
>>217455755King loved to spam that "the world had moved on" but never elaborates on what the fuck that means. The meta-narrative of the gas stations, the dr. Doom lightsaber cosplayers, the golden snitches, etc are all explained away as existing because King wrote them into the books because that's what he was into when he was writing them in the mid-late 90s.As for what he says to the woman in the saloon, I think it was just the number "19" or something. The number 19 has special significance to Stephen King because he's a cocaine addict or something, i dont know.
>>217455690>who is also heavily implied to be Pennywise from the IT series btwThat's wrong, but they're maybe of the same race. His son (Mordred) also turns into a big spider.
>>217455690I don’t know anything about the plot so I just imagine it’s about some guy climbing up a tower and fighting goblins and skeletons
>>217455690only 3? I thought The Dark Tower IV: Wizard and Glass was probably the best one.
>>217456019Nope, try the first 3 books to get the best experience and make a conclusion whether you want to continue. It made me into a constant reader and into the world.of literature.
>>217455989>That's wrong, but they're maybe of the same raceIn the book Insomnia which also has The Crimson King as the final boss and takes place in Derry, near the ending in the chapter "In the Court of the Crimson King", the Crimson King transforms into Ralph's biggest fear (which is a giant Kingfish or something, please understand Stephen was 99% cocaine at this point) and says something like "Shapeshifting is a time honored tradition in Derry!"Without further evidence I'm convinced this links The Crimson King to being Pennywise.
>>217456046NTA but I completely agree, Wizard and Glass is my favorite as well. Book two is the weakest of the first four but still perfectly fine. Absolutely anyone can read the first book and enjoy it, feel free to stop there.
>>217455690>ALL ABOARD BLANE THE PAIN TRAIN
>>217456072He alludes to pennywise but he isnt claiming to be him. Dreamcatcher has call outs to pennywise as well.
>>217456137>Bane is a Pain for youUnironically what did Stephen King mean by this?
Uh yeah thats true. Matthew Mconoaughaghaghgh was okay as randall flag and the fact that they killed the kids family is pretty good but they should have made it a prequel to the first book instead of a dogshit failed production script
>>217456072Yeah that's obviously an It reference, but everything else about the history of the characters doesn't match.
>>217456149Who knows, he was high as a fucking kite.
>>217456153The producer went on record that he didn't care for.the lore and wanted to make a cookie cutter script. Look him up to see he makes decisions in Hollywood.
>>217456149The ai went insane after.millenia of isolation.
The part that pisses me off is King acting like Samson's Riddle was somehow clever. When in reality, it is exactly the type of riddle that's so retarded that it makes the dead baby jokes look like a work of genius.Really, THAT'S the "riddle" Eddie should have told to short circuit Blane the Train.
>>217455690>>the bad guys of the 5th book are a group of robots that cosplay as Dr. Doom and actually, non-ironically use Lightsabers from Star Wars and explosive Golden Snitches from Harry Potter as weaponsWe're closer to that than you think.
>>217456193That doesn't explain why Bane the Monorail was beaten with a riddle as simplistic as "Why would you shoot a man, before throwing him out of a train?"
In case you didn't know, the series went to shit right after King got run over by that car. He got scared that he might die leaving the story unfinished so he rushed through it without taking his time to make it good like the first books. And I'm sure that him quitting booze and drugs after the incident also contributed to the decline.
>>217455690Nobody cares about your opinion
>>217456239I care. That's why I'm in this thread
>>217456140How does 11.22.63 fit into the Kingverse? What's causing the time travel and how is the past fighting back? Is it Langoliers?
>>217455690I vaguely remember liking the series up until they leave Lud on Blaine, and I also remember that the following book was utter schizobabble so I checked out.
>>217455690>the bad guys of the 5th book are a group of robots that cosplay as Dr. Doom and actually, non-ironically use Lightsabers from Star Wars and explosive Golden Snitches from Harry Potter as weaponsLets not forget that they fought them with sharpened dinner plates because, get this, there are not enough GUNS in the GUNSLINGER series for the nigger to get one...
>>217456230...in the year of '99:)
>>217456224I like the green goblin's glider for me.
>>2174560464 is the worst piece of shit in the series. Its fucking un-readable. Susan is insufferable, Revolverboi is worse and it is boring. Is utter shite on every page and a total waste of time.
>>217456261To be fair Guns in the dark tower universe are an antiquity that everyone is mystified by and cements Rolands authority wherever he goes because of how uncommon they are. That being said, he could have gone with a better route of arming the milita than sharpened fucking dinner plates.
>>217456250The Derry series says pennywise doesn't experience time the.same.way as humans.
>>217455690I like the first 4 books
>>217456306Bows and arrows? Remember some decisions are done arbitrarily by intuition and it felt like destiny or ka was guiding them. I dont remember the reasoning for Odetta using the.plates.
>>217456250It doesn't fit into the kingverse at all, King just has this specific alternate history boner for "what if JFK never died hurrrrr" because King thinks it's the most important event in history since the birth of christ. They even mention JFK a few times in the dark tower series and he calls it a watershed moment in one of the books but I can't remember which book or the context in which he's talking about it.
>>217456306>To be fair Guns in the dark tower universe are an antiquitywhich makes absolutely zero sense. If people know about guns they find ways to make them, period. Maybe they wouldn't be as nice but people would make them.
>>217456415The world has moved on! When he was training to be a.gunslinger and Gilead stood, they were an ancient weapon that was highly prized and respected.
>>217456449Fuck off King, go snort an 8ball and rewrite the last 3 books of the series
>>217456449>The world has moved on!Its just such a lame excuse, I never got why he used it for everything he didn't want to explain. People would never forget how to make or stop making the best personal protection in humanity's existence.
>>217456360He's a boomer.
>>217456163It's more than just a passing reference, Crimson King demonstrates the same powers as Pennywise in the same town IT is set in and references it stopping just short of using his name. Considering time travel and the non-linear passage of time are plot points in the dark tower series, it's easy to come to the conclusion that Pennywise = Crimson King, unless you have a compelling argument to the contrary.
>>217456514There is literal cargo cults right now. There is an actual book out y here that goes into the most important knowledge that would be necessary to restart the world after the post apocalypse. You are overestimating the intelligence of the average person. There were wars and harriers. Many important and essential people have died. Civilization is barely being kept together.
What was the fucking deal with the 7 orbs? Shit played zero role to the series and took up a ton of time.
>>217456707Any group that had guns would subdue those without them. People would continue their production out of necessity. We might be held together by a bare thread but that thread includes the use of force.
>>217456726All the worldbuilding set up by the first books is handwaved in the lamest way possible. Though nothing beats the Crimson King, who early on was described as a cosmic entity that made people insane just from perceiving his aura, reduced to a retarded old man who locked himself out on a balcony for some reason and can't do anything other than throwing Harry Potter snitches
>the rare /litv/ crossover
>>217456559The crimson king is absolutely not pennywise, although he might be from the prim. It is unclear if he is human but he does inhabit a humanoid form and authority in discordia. The energy vampire, dandelo, is closer to pennywise mo.
>>217456820He is undead from having swallowed a spoon.
>expecting King to sustain an entire series when he can't even write a decent ending for a single novel Lol
>>217456876Lmao I forgot about that detail
>>217456857Its strange that a book conversation had here is 1000% more chill and comfy than any on lit...
>>217455690It was just too big for an author like King. I agree with you, the first few books are fantastic and really set up some crazy worldbuilding and lore, and then I couldn't even bring myself to finish the series. It was too ambitious for King.
>>217456893It's general rule of thumb that you'll have better discussions about a topic on any board other than the one it's meant for. That's because the most autistic of people are generally the main users and topic creators of their respective boards. You'll probably have a better discussion on film and TV if you go to /sp/ if you could find a way to cheat the mods and make a crossboard topic.
Yeah I enjoyed the first few with the different worlds and the fucking psycho train and the crazy disabled black lady but then I got to the fucking 900 page long Roland flashback book that was painfully formulaic and just dragged on and on so I dropped it.The movie was still a complete fucking abomination that should never have come to be.
>>217455690Incorrect. The Dark Tower series is amazing and you are gay.
>>217456893>Try and discuss anything on /lit/>Pseuds and larping christcucks swarm the thread and just start shitting everywhere
>>217457016>The movie was still a complete fucking abomination that should never have come to be.It unironically had a way more coherent beginning, middle, and ending than the book seriesStill shit though
>>217456893I made a half joking captain america joke about the i understood that reference and they bit my head off. Those guys need a chill pill.
>>217455690Dark Tower is Stephen King's Sonichu?
>>217457137I once thought to try and discuss a book I had just read there and made a thread about it and got dog piled by absolute retards who all pretended to be an absolute authority on the topic. It was truly bizarre. I mean the worst we get here is redditors with completely normie takes, but that place is not worth the bandwidth.
>>217457226They are turning on blood meridian and gene wolfe but I guess that after discussing the same books they would get a distaste for them. Tv has awesome book.adaptation threads.
>>217456072The wiki says pennywise, aka the dead lights are a weapon/work for the crimson king.
>>217457270Anyone can edit the wiki, I dont think the creatures from the prim. Obey anyone as mush as their instinct to feed and cause chaos wherever they may go.
7 > 3 > 2 > 1 > 4 > 8 > 5 > 6
>>217458122Is 8 the wind through the keyhole?
>>217458141Aye. Nothing much happens plot-wise, but the nested stories are nice and there's some continuity from Blaine to the Emerald City.
>>217455690>If anyone was curious, you're welcome for saving you the time of going through 7 shitty books just for Roland to be time looped back to the start of the first book when he reaches the dark tower.honestly, thanks anon. i've always been intrigued by the dark tower since i love cowboys and saw how bad the movie looked, but now that i know stephen king went full hack in writing this series i'll make sure to never bother with any of it.
Scott Eastwood could play Roland if he weathered his face. Zoe saldana could be odetta Holmes and Eddie can be ...
>>217458215I hope you are being facetious. You are robbing yourself of a great reading experience and literary universe.
>>217456224that's gotta be one of the fakest robot videos i've ever seen lmao>don't see the robot getting on the atv>don't see the robot's hands start up the atv>don't see the robot turn the atvshit is obviously remote controlled
>>217458215read it anyway, it is beloved for a reason
>>217458256Reminds me that Andy the messenger robot would be amazing on screen. The calla dance with Roland and the town folk cheering into a frenzy would be radical. It needs to be made by someone and it must be true.
>>217458237>>217458273i mean i have no interest in dr. doom robots wielding lightsabers and grenade snitchesnor do i care for teh rayciss negress and i know king sucks at endingsso i'll stick to the other stuff that's actually good
>>217458292I would die happy to see Shardik in live action.
>>217458151I restarted the book series and I am in the wasteland so that I could go into keyhole with a fresh perspective after 20 some years. I completed the series as a teen but I can't imagine waiting decades for it. Have yet to start game of thrones and im still working through dune messiah and the second enders game. Like the bean quartet better.
>>217458311When you plainly call them that it becomes silly but you have to remember the mystery you felt when you were reading their description. I wonder if they could age and hide their origin of the suits and the swords. I dont remember if they used them before the big fight especially the sneetches.
>>217458397if they could be renamed to be less obvious i'd enjoy it morehonestly i'd read it just to see long winded passages of roland getting shat on by the sheboon, that shit sounds hilarious, because he knows at any given moment he could just shoot her in the face and move on but refuses to, and that's kino.shame they denied us that with the raceswap.
>>217458321With the little satellite dish? Or is that to silly?
The New York chapters were a slog to get through.
>>217458237>>217455690Fuck that. I was in for the first book and enjoyed the next two. But I'll take the recap and enjoy the hell out of it while skipping the rest. Give me morhhrrerr.
>>217458441I still dont know what a mafa means. I know what honky means but the the followup word.
>>217458450Essential. Rotting giant biomechanical bear. How fucking cool is that?
>>217458479I pictured the maggots he sneezes out so vividly it still repulses me after 2 decades.
>>217458459It is building up the multiverse and the sanity breaking effects it plays on twinners.
>>217458474motha fackamofa
>>217458538That is quite a patois. I dont know if Zoe is up for it.
>>217458215Don’t listen to some butthurt 4chan retard spew nonsense. Listen to me, a gigchad, telling you that reading the dark tower will get your dick sucked and it’s a lot of fun
How about the part where Flagg brings the Tick Tock Man to his green castle just so he could get killed immediately. Oh and Roland almost shoots Flagg but darnit, the pistol got caught on his belt.
>>217458574His missing fingers screwed him over.
>>217458459All of Book 6 is a slog.
>>217458122>>217458141>>217458151Wind is consider book 4.5.
>>217458590No. He had gotten used to using his left hand at this point. And Eddie would have had the other revolver.
>>217458627He did scare him, he got real close. I wonder if they will allow music licensing for the drums that play across lud.
>>217458397>the mystery you felt when you were reading their description. Only to be letdown by what was the beginning of King's descent into meta-narrative madness that went way too far. Honestly if the Dark Tower adaptation doss happen they're going to need to rewrite most of the 5th, 6th, and 7th acts. Copyright issues with the doombots aside, there's no way King himself doesn't cringe at the self insert he did.
Do you guys know about the Amazon pilot that never aired? Looks like it coulda been kino.
>>217456257i fell off during the third book, it just started to get retardedly schizo and i didn't really care what was happening.
>>217458642Yes I'm quite sure they can license a ZZ Top song.
>>217458215You'll miss out on psychopathic C3PO
Rocker as eldred could have worked but that is just because I am a fan of rocker. I pictured Jon voight or Sam Elliot as an evil, petty cowboy. Is marten broadcloak the guy that plays the weirdo in vikings?
>>217458627>>217458642Only mid world bullets would've hurt him and Eddie's gun was loaded with keystone world bullets
>>217458699>>217458748
>>217455690>I'm not talking about the filmThen why are you posting this in /tv/ and not /lit/ you stupid motherfucker?
>>217455690I remember this vaguely from when I read the series back in the late 2000s. I definitely felt the first 2-3 books were the only good ones. The first one is tiny and feels like it's from a different series too.
>>217458479Do the other paths have giant, cyborg guardians? Isn't there a turtle one? Would it look like the boss in contra 3?
They never explore the level system he mentions that allows him to ignore his thirst and walk without rest. They mention once in the first book and never gets brought up again.
>>217458783Because I can. Do something about it, pussy.*unsheathes katana*
>>217458563>Listen to me, a gigchad, telling you that reading the dark tower will get your dick sucked and it’s a lot of funi don't want my dick sucked by guys>>217458725>psychopathic C3POno i got enough of that in the shitty nu wars comics (picrel)
