>/tv/... Sell me this pen.
>>217479820sorry I don't work for free
>>217479820This is THE pen from the famous pen enthusiast website Pen Island. Buy now, goy!
>smell this pen
>>217479820If you don't buy this pen from me I am literally gonna KILL MYSELF in front of YOU and EVERYONE ELSE here. Five. Four. Three...
>>217479820>stick it up my butt>wiggle it about a bit >pull it out $25
>>2174798203 dollar thank you come again
>>217479820Nah, I have better things to sell
I sell you this digits
I actually had to do this exercise as part of a sales workshop and it just degenerated into each person telling more and more outrageous lies about the men's construction, abilities, and potential value.
>>217479820I'm sorry sir, I can't do that, the product has been discontinued. This particular pen is one of only two units that we have left. The other pen has already been sold, but we have a very strong indication that there will be a buyer for this particular pen tomorrow, and the buyer says he's willing to pay double.It's a really great pen, too, I can see why he wants it. *physically manipulates pen, flips it up in the air, manipulates it, draws a few quick doodles, makes the clicking noise with it* But as I say, It's spoken for, probably.
>>217479820>Can I get your autograph?
>>217479820
>>217480229
"I'm a doctor and I can see you have AIDS and the cure for AIDS is in this pen"
>>217480117holy fucking cringe
>>217479820>No
>>217479820It's free, and will even include ink for a small fee
>>217479820Saar, this is a marker.
>>217480117I'll take it
>>217479820U-umm...buy this pen or I'll kill myself
>>217479820Ok, I'll sell you this pen. Expect an invoice later.
>>217479820Buy this pen and I'll suck yer dick
>>217480004Anon over here learning how to sell slaves by lying.
>>217479820Sydney Sweeney chewed and sat on a pen just like this one
>>217479820>go to the government>lobby to pass a law requiring everyone to have a pen at all times>only specially approved pen sellers may deal pens>ensure that I'm on the board that certifies all pen sellershmm looks like you're buying my pen no matter what, sorry goy >:^)
if you don't buy this pen ur gay
You all fail. You're not supposed to list off features and talk about how it's the best thing ever. You start the conversation off by asking questions to dig for the client's needs. You have to sell a solution to the client's problems. Find out what problems they have, and connect the dots with how the product you're selling will solve it. In one of the opening scenes, Jordan is shown how it's done. The experienced manager asks the hiring manager how long he's been in the market for a new pen. The hiring manager responds by saying he's not in the market. The manager then throws the pen down in the desk and walks away saying that he won't waste his time. (There's no problem to be solved/no interest.)t. worked in sales.
>>217479820In the event of an attack you can use it as a weapon to kill!!!FACT!!!
>>217480966You couldn't sell a ham sandwich, no wonder you're not in sales anymore.
>>217481419You're a retard. What do you think the point of selling the pen is? To see who can come up with the coolest features in their head?
>>217480966Actually the key is to apply as much pressure as possible on the client to force the sale.
>>217479820How long have you been in the market for a pen?
>>217479820Give me $1 for this pen or I will stab you with it>the US Military Industrial Complex gambit
>>217481470>You're a retard>Comes up with some fantasy I never impliedGot bad news buddy, only one of us is retarded.
If you don't buy this pen I will drive to your mothers house rape her and beat her to death with a lead pipe.
>>217479820True story: I actually sold 2 pens at above average price points on eBay. There were identical pens for sale and I needed to move these sub-$10 pens for some reason. I went nuts with the description and the title and went on and on for longer than a reasonable amount of time about how these pens would change your life. The customers absolutely could've bought the less expensive, identical pens. They bought mine first. True fucking story. You know how hard it is to move a $9 pen on eBay? You don't know shit. Scorsese is a fucking hack who is out of touch. Leonardo Retardo is a silver spoon pretty boy. You want my pen? Too bad, someone else already owns it, you stupid faggot. You snooze you lose.
>>217479820Jenna Ortegas been chewing on it
>>217480765Fucking sold
>>217481853Same anon: I actually wish I'd kept those pens. They were pretty nice. I'm sad now.
>>217481901Lmao
>>217479855>
>>217481921I'm a Level 7 Susceptible. I just can't imagine living my life knowing there are things produced by the Honda Motor Company that are not currently improving the way I live.
>>217479820What brand of pen is it?
>>217479820>*pulls out gun*>*shoots Belfort in the face multiple times*>*screams "THUG LIIIIIIIIIFE!*>*pulls down pants*>*loudly defecates, splattering passersby with rancid, watery shit*>heh... I'll see myself out...>*pulls up pants*>*duck-walks towards you*>heh... here... have a nip of ol' HOOCH!>*shoves hand down the back of pants**slings a watery fistful of liquid shit in your eyes and mouth*>heh... howdya like them apples?gg no rez
>>217481790Throw in my wife and youve got a deal
