>be me, half of a shitty comedian duo >partner is my dumbass childhood friend, thinks he's the next Andy Kaufman >we're grinding open mics in dive bars, eating ramen out of the package >barely making rent, couch surfing when evicted >one miracle day, SNL scouts us after a viral clip of our "racist vegetables" bit >not even that racist, just edgy produce puns >we pitch sketches, producers love our safe stuff >but retard friend fixates on his "masterpiece" >"Lettuce Nigger" - a salad head who drops n-bombs while getting tossed >catchphrase is literally "Lettuce Nigger" yelled mid-punchline >tell him it's career suicide, but he's like "it's ART, bro" >rehearsal day, he sneaks it in during table read >room goes silent, Lorne Michaels stares like we killed his dog >security escorts us out, blacklisted forever >now back to square one, gigging at truck stops for gas money >friend still laughs about it, says it'll be "legendary" someday >mfw I'm 30, broke, and stuck with this immature fuckwit >should've gone solo, anons >end my suffering
>>217787578Damn, bruh …
>>217787578>blacklistedniggerlettuced*
wow it's like even mentioning niggers just kills the mood for everyone, like they remembered the worst thing in the world just -had- to exist
>>217787578Just think, you could be debasing yourself doing jokes about Drumpf and hob-nobbing with celebs like Cardi B and Teyana Taylor every weekend!And if you're a white male, don't forget about doing all the sketches focused entirely around emasculating and embarrassing you in some way or other.
can you change your stage name and look so people will think you're someone else?
got any videos of this masterpiece?
>>217787578You should kill your friend with a bowling ball that looks like a head of lettuce while yelling nigger at the top your lungs.
kikes have comedy totally gatekept between rogan and lipowitz
>>217787578Is this just your round-about way of explaining why you now make a living turning tricks through a hole in a truckstop bathroom?
