How do you respond without torpedoing a franchise?
Rey Shoubianoodist
>>218200952her embracing the Palpatine name and changing it to be associated with good would be the ultimate fuck you to the emperor and would have been a better message for the kiddies
>>218200952My theater clapped and cheered and one man yelled "DAMN RIGHT!" when she said Skywalker.
Ray Magini
>>218201036Imagine the SMELLShe probably hadn't washed in years on sweltering hot desert planet
>>218201122It's such a shame the Aurora shooter couldn't wait 7 years.
>>218201098Shit that would be a good message for me and I'm 30. But my grandpa got shot to death by police Saint Patrick's day in the 80s after he held some people hostage and my mom, who was the person he didn't beat savagely while drunk or high on meth, had me at 15 and the moment I turned 15 decided to stop being my mom and start stealing my identity and just being an all around parasite. Sorry for blogging. I actually just recently escaped my mom's and am trying to become a normal ass adult away from that awful person
>>218201153Sweat and stink doesn't exist in the Star Wars universeJust like underwear or paperNo one needs to shower because everyone's cleanNo body hair eitherNor STDsNo periods, women are always in heatThe galactic population is 30% male, 50% female, and 20% futa
>>218200952>I don't have a last name, I'm alone>Rey... Incel
>>218200952
>>218200952>Rey who?>Rey Palpatine >pulls out red light saber>Dark side music playsThere now you have the new villain for the next trilogy
Maximus Decimus Palpatine, granddaughter of a murdered grandfather, lover of a murdered Swolo, and i will have my empire, in this life or the next
>>218200952women ruined star wars
>>218200952>you can call me Rey or you can call me Jay but you don’t have to call me mr Skywalker
>>218200952I didn't see the third movie (why would I?) but why exactly did she feel like she was a Skywalker? What connection did she have to the family that she decides she can just call herself one?
>>218201153imagine smelling the Reyncor pit
rey shitto, but just call me... glup
Rey Pyu?
>>218201246Shut up and stop trying to ruin my fantasy, Rey has a massive bush
>>218200952I used to think her answer should've been:>"Rey Solo."She was mentored by Han, then mentored by Han's wife, then fell in love with Ben Solo, plus she inherited the Millennium Falcon and gained Chewie as her co-pilot. Rey Solo. Makes total sense. "Rey Skywalker" is nonsense; she knew Luke for roughly three days and she didn't even like him all that much.But I've realized recently, that no, it shouldn't have been Rey Solo. It should've tied into the whole "Rey from nowhere," "our destiny is what we make it," "you don't need to be a Skywalker or a Palpatine to matter," etc. thing, and her answer should've been:>"Rey... Just Rey."
Rey... Rey of light
Rey Sleazebaggano
>>218200952"Rey who?">Isn't that the question of the day? Where do I even begin..... You see I don't actually have a surname cos my parents were alcoholic trailer trash who sold me into slavery for a bottle of Romulan ale. Actually come to think of it why am I not STILL a slave? Did massa just set me free? Wow, that was lucky. Or maybe I just Mary Sue'd my way out of slavery because why not, I'm perfect in every way so I don't NEED no surname. Except I DO have a surname and it's Palpatine! So you know how I said my parents abandoned me? I was lying that never happened. I mean ok it DID happen, but in a shocking twist it turns out that I have two separate backstories which cannot co-exist but do anyway. So Uncle Palpy somehow returned and he's actually my mother AND my father because he cloned himself then fucked himself in the ass then took a massive rancid shit that he named 'Rey'. So I'm literally a sentient turd squirted out of a dead sith's decomposing asshole. Oh, it shows.>So to recap, my parents were filthy junk traders but also the lifeless corpse of Palpy and I'm also ALL the jedi but none of that matters because even though my surname is either non-existent or "Palpatine" I actually call myself "Rey Skywalker," just a little identity theft scam I cooked up so I can collect Luke's welfare payments, I mean it's not like the miserable fat fuck needs em now right? lmao FUCK that dead burnout. Could he BE any more washed? Seriously what a goddamn buzzkill. Stank of piss too *farts loudly* *SNIFF* Ahhhhhh rotting beef.... that's what I'm talkin bout. Grab a whiff of that darls. Plenty more where that came from *BRRRRAAAAAPPPPPPPTTH* yeah bitch THAT'S my name. *PARP*
>>218200952>Rey who?>Rey Ban.
REY STAR WARS™
>>218200952>Rey …Tarded
>>218200952>rey…>reycist.
>>218202693I want to hug daisy
For a brief moment I literally unironically thought "Rey Starwars"
>Reysi Didlay
>>218201162Based>>218201315Fuck it, can't possibly get worse than what we already have
>>218201122I saw a video posted here with people that had clearly seen the leaks before watching it because one guy was saying, "don't say it" and then when she said it the whole cinema groaned.
>>218200952Skywalker, because it fits her arc.
>>218201760Rey White Power,- the Ranger?
RAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYCojak got a wig onRAAAYYYY
>>218200952Casts off the unpleasant ties, shows strength in her self, and serves as a callback. Though the better choice was not bringing Palpatine into it at all
>>218200952REY MYSTERIO BOOYAKA 619
>>218201122my theater expelled a collective UGH and got up their seats
>>218200952That was the last scene of the third movie, the franchise was already in Mariana's trench at that point.
>>218200952Reydeedee Megadoodoo
>without torpedoing a franchiseBecause they were doing so great until that one line
>>218201246Star Wars is 1970's In Spaaaace, motherfucker *everyone* has bodyhair, and not the whispy estrogenic bumfluff you poofters have: for the men proper fucking chestrugs, upper arms and backs like apes, sideburns and big honkin' moustaches. For the ladies bush so thick you could set a Victorian Darkest Africa adventure story in it. Real people not fucking plastic airbrushed flat-crotched dolls like modern actors.
>>218201122Surely not
>>218201903>"Just Rey."Literally the only correct option and I can't believe they couldn't even get that right
>>218200952this franchise is well and truly torpedoed alreadyall is lostflee, flee for your lives
either call herself rey palpatine or reveal that sheev was anakins father so she actually is a skywalker
>>218201760saaaaar
>>218200952>Rey... Ders of the Lost Ark>*puts on fedora*>[Indiana Jones Music intensifies]