oh no no no no no no
just let every thread be full of webms nu-lara dying over and over and over
everything hollywood touches turns to shit
>>218639437They filmed it in a city full of Indians?
>>218639437no one in my family consumes more television than the women so i presume most if not all new tv shows are aimed at women primarily and things make a lot more sense this way tbqh
>>218639437grim
very exciting
>>218639437The line between Hollywood and teens filming in the forest behind their house is paper-thin right now
tomb raider ended with chronicles (tr5) 26 years ago
The temperance movement won
>>218639437Ffs could they possibly cover her up more? She'd barely get raped by shitslimes dressed like that.
>>218640534marge?
>>218639437Why's Beverly Crusher shooting guns in the forest
>>218639437>we're here to defy your traditional white female beauty standards>by casting a white female with a 10/10 body
>>218640541it's fine, they rape harder in groups
>>218639437OH NO NO NO NO
>>218639437Hopefully DLSS 5 can save this.
>>218639437it should be ILLEGAL to make LIVE ACTION movies based on VIDEO GAMES
>>218639437how does this bitch still have a career?
>>218640534>mason movement
>>218642644DLSS 5 ACTIVATED
>>218643115And if we go by the same outfit but just some improvements.
>>218639437Are those prop guns? I was excited to see what handguns were chosen for the new Laura Croft and they have her shooting toy guns
>>218643115BIG TITS ON A FRIDGE BODY, yep its DLSS
Is it an adaptation when it doesn’t resemble the property at all? Even the movie starring that plank from a few years ago was more identifiable as tomb raider.
>>218643590It's only sensible, you never know when Alec Baldwin might pop up and start blasting bitches
>>218639437>ugly>can't act>seems like a rather insufferable person to be aroundWho does she know that's letting her get roles like this? Because there's no way someone looked at this disgusting slag and thought "Yeah, that's the next Lara Croft."
>>218640534Actually it's if a body "catch" a body.
must suck being a tomb raider fan literally every single time they remake that shit, movies or games, she gets uglier and wears more clothes
>>218643115Mogged by Enji Night
>>218640594>10/10 bodyNot even close.
>>218644157this looks so god damn stupid when you think about it
>>218639437A video game that contains dinosaurs needs to have a movie with a realistic female that raids tombs.
>>218644487Lara Croft is supposed to be surreal.
>>218644157If I was the god of this earth I would bless every good hearted woman with hips like these
>>218640670>age>30 fucking how. the curse of the wall will never be broken.
>>218639437You trannies shouldn’t have cancelled her.
>>218639437Wow I can't believe a Tomb Raider reboot film is going to flop again... how could anybody have seen this coming?
>>218639437well, I mean, at least Lara will be British and not Congolese
>>218645019>fucking how.alcoholism
>>218639437>eyebagsGet this hag out of here
Phoebe Waller Bridge is the showrunner of course it's going to be garbage
more like...Larda Croftlol
>>218645312must squeeze tummy
>>218643590it's supposed to be this
>>218644157>you lived to see Enji hit the wallHer latetest sets are boring and she's past he prime now.
>>218639437turned lara into a guy? I thought that's what uncharted was for.
>>218645312ew what a fat cunt
>>218639437I love her /tv/
>>218645312prime ham for the slammin
>>218645472>enji hit the wallno? she looks fine in her asuka set? she was just diagnosed with cancer, for real though
>we had no idea how good we had it until we lost it
>>218645312ay mi gordita
>>218643988The remasters were a bright spot for a minute there. Although personally I had played through the original PC releases like a year before those remasters came out and they all still work fine and have solid fan patches.
>>218644157Nah. For a Womb Raider porn parody maybe. She's to soft and skinny-pudgy to make for a believable athletic spelunking woman. She needs to go to the gym and get some definition in.
>>218643987All these phonies in the thread, it's depressing. It really is.
>>218639437Looks more like she won the james bond role than tomb raider
>>218646558You're a fucking moron. Tomb Raider got big because men are horny, not from some deeper lore regarding female fitness, the fuck is wrong with you.
>>218639437Oh, they're finally filming MGS. Not sure how I feel about the gender swap.
>>218644157This is just cheap coomer bait. To actually pay respect to the source material you need to either cast someone with giant boobs or give them fake ones
>>218639437where boob
>>218647993You, the viewer, are the boob.
>>218639437y she built like a fridge
>>218639437Is she in a cooler/cold climate? If so, what is the problem? Lara should be warm, too.
>>218644157Yum yum ignore the gays this is it
>>218644357>this looks so god damn stupid when you think about it>>218646558>Nah. For a Womb Raider porn parody maybe. She's to soft and skinny-pudgy to make for a believable athletic spelunking woman. She needs to go to the gym and get some definition in.>>218647768>This is just cheap coomer bait. To actually pay respect to the source material you need to either cast someone with giant boobs or give them fake ones
>>218645666>When even the knock-offs have more soul than the current IP holders...
>>218639437Also>generic adventure woman
>>218647768problem?
>>218644357Enji Night is one of the sexiest women alive but Lara Croft is not her body type. Lara is lean, hard, long-legged British aristocrat with pointy tits.
>>218645074who is this woman and how do I get her to sit on my face
>>218639437yo where the tits at?
A thousand pardons honored uncles, but Laura Croft has not be notably busty since the 2013 reboot, thirteen years ago now
>>218639437>men WILL NOT get any eye candy whatsoever going forward. Women and fags are long overdue to be knocked down a peg.
>>218639822It's more like women and fags are too retarded to pirate the stuff they watch for free so the entertainment that gets made is stuff that appeals to women and fags. If you pirate everything you watch you don't get to complain about how much you hate modern movies.
>written by Phoebe Waller BridgeLMAO good luck Tomb Raiderfags
>>218645312
>>218639437FLOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
more like womb raided loool
>>218649097She wasn't noticeably busty then either. Who is this movie for?Women don't like action movies and don't understand puzzles.Same issue with the games, except in games you can dumb them down enough with quick time events and make them controller friendly, so they're effectively just a movie.Sophie has zero sex appeal. She's not that attractive, and her body can only be described as lugubrious.
>>218649097Right around the time I was also supposed to start pretending men were women. Guess how that went.
>>218643590>I was excited to see what handguns were chosen for the new Laura Croftare you for real nigger?
>>218649364All the more reason my opinion is correct. No skin in the game. The retard paying $20 a month for their slop has to give themselves reason to continue the humiliation ritual.
>>218645312I didn't realize tourettes chick was that substantial
>>218639437Might as well put a burka on her face
>>218639437It's so pointless to have a nu-lara like this. Why would they even keep making tomb raider movies.
>>218639437I don't really mind this. Original Lara's bimbo appearance was borderline farcical anyway and also completely unrealistic for british upper class.Turner has the acting range of a wooden log but many action protagonists do, you can live with it if the rest is good.The bigger problem is that Waller-Bridge is writing it and doing a "realistic" Lara requires answering some interesting questions which she will either handwave away or retcon. Like - how does an upperclass aristocratic woman get to become an illegal tomb raider (which is different from a regular hiking trip)? what does she do with the shit she raids? does she just do it for fun/hedonism? how do the people from whom she pilfers their cultural artifacts feel about this (cough cough british colonialism)? I mean if they make Lara a hedonist antihero who just wants thrills away from her boring upperclass life and her nemesis some leftist anti-colonial activists I will be the first to applaud this but I don't think they have a metaphorical balls to make a female action heroine an anti-heroine.
>>218652034Fuck off retard
>>218652148No he got a point
>>218649097Her name is LARA not LAURA. I know in America those are the same, but in Britain where the game was actually made, those are two separate names. We have both of them. Just because the American tongue can't handle the tonal complexities of English pitch accent, or because you can't read the runic characters, doesn't mean you guyjim get to be lazy when you're literally given an Amerajicized form to read which shows you how it is pronounced. You can't say it, but you could at least type it.
>>218652260No you don't
>>218652318That word monster guy would not be able to resist a long winded response and he might be writing one
dead on arrival
>>218652379you're gonna have to do better than call me a retard to make me write one
>>218652314bit rich coming from somebody who will be speaking arabic in 10 years
>>218639437She looks 70
>>218652488So will you when you're 70.
>>218652408ill be surprised if it doesnt get cancelled
>>218652408Uncle, sit down
>>218639437>feminists have been shrieking for over a decade about female representation>they've spent the same amount of time doing everything they can to destroy the image of one of the few female characters to be popular with both genderswhy do feminists have such a massive hate boner for lara croft in particular?
>>218653526The outfit helps but I've never once found her as amazingly hot as she was always said to be by everyone
>>218653732she was a bit too sticc in her lara phase but still good tits and perfect dsl's. 10x better than vikander and 100x sophie
>>218639437What did she do between being underage and walled? I only know her from GOT and that xmen movie everyone hated so what made then think it was a good idea to have her lead a new franchise?
>>218639437honestly hot, but it would be better if Sophie was even more athletic and she was wearing a bodysuit with the same coverage.
>>218652458even richer from someone who probably has to speak spanish half the time :^)
>>218654087She walled
>>218652488>>218652761
walled roastieseries is walled on arrival
>>218645472No, the journey doesn't end here. The Wall is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey-haired curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to jiggly fat, and then you see it. Milf shores, and behind, a fat dumptruck ass under a swift bush.
I believe this is going to flop so fucking hard she might actually """""""""""retire""""""""""" from acting and the public eye altogether
>>218644357>this looks so god damn stupid when you think about itSo does this, and it makes millions of dollars. We’re not making Oscar-bait drama here; it’s an action show. It can be “stupid” as long as it’s fun and entertaining.
>>218655701boomers and zoomers shit their pants watching this scene
>>218639437Why is Solid Snake missing his bandana?
>>218655701i love FF physics
>>218639778More like Saarrey
>>218639822No it's that there's no such thing as universally appealing entertainment. The golden age of movies both artistically and brainless blockbuster fun were designed for above average or higher iq white men, and women and browns and average or below iq men liked them because of the natural high quality designing products for a generally intelligent white male audience demanded. As soon as corporations took over Hollywood and started to make "global" movies their quality by every metric plummeted until the discerning white men abandoned it in general, leaving behind media mostly consumed by idiots and women and browns. There's a reason why post-2006 absolutely zero classic movies people will still be watching decades from now have been made.
ELE-VA-TIONhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19KstSgU-c0
>>218639437>tacticool in current fucking year
People play games for an escape. They know the hot British woman with guns fighting bears and T-Rexes is bs but it's a nice escape. Why do they ruin it by trying to make it realistic and serious?
>>218640670>>218645019Why do they keep casting hags?
>>218649405proofs?
