You goddamn r*ddit subhumans. They ruin everything they touch. This is cancer to art. This is xkcd, this is Josh Whedon, this is James Gunn, this is Bobiverse, this is r/wholesomememes, this is heckin doggo quirk chungus keanu memes, this is everything everywhere all at once and the uncanny, forced wholesomeness pushed by tasteless, manchild, r*ddit nerds. There needs to divine retribution for people who push this vile crap in the name of art. Fuck you!
>>218663883preach. Anyone who likes this crap should be sterilized.
are you actually going to give criticisms anon or are you just going to spout buzzwords?
>>218663883man you guys just hate everything man you mfers hate dune you guys hate interstellar you hate nolan you just hate everythingproject hail mary like the book was pretty fucking good icl like was the writing style reddit? yes but its meant to be written like a diary or a journal, the story and the ending were fucking great
>>218663946>>218663955May Allah break your backs you disease ridden rodents.
>>218663883didn't read, for me, i want to see this flick. wanna see the weird space alien help normieboy save the earth or whatever
Does the Bogman save our species?
>>218663955You write like a redditor
H A I LM A R V
ryan bogman le space man
>>218663883My local AMC is getting the Kiki's Delivery Service 4K remaster but not in IMAX for this chunk of shit.
>>218663955You have my permission to enjoy all of those except gay mary.
>>218664022what are you even talking about its the exact opposite redditors use punctuation and i refuse to use any punctuation on the internet its a matter of honor
>>218663883The author used spreadsheets to figure out the math, your opinion is invalid.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYHCTEnYOr4
>>218663883Oh, neato. I was going to skip this and maybe watch it on streaming when it gets there, but I really like Guardians of the Galaxy, so I'll give it a watch in the kinoplex now.Thanks OP.
will illegally stream it at bestthe martian was slop and this has the same energy x2
>>218664125Loling at this reddit homosexual passive aggressoveness.
>>218663883Thanks for the reminder I'll see it this weekend
>>218664169>aggressovenessLoling at how Indians can't spell.
Yeah, the interactions between the characters are really childish but it is what it is. It's the most reddit book of the last few years. Redditors were literally sending the physical copies of the book to the author to get it signed. I'll watch it simply because I LOVE ALIENS.
>>218663883So like a 'Guardians of the Galaxy' sort of deal?
The only thing that would excite me is ALIENS. I have accepted my own mortality, death is part of life and it is what it is, but man, the only thing that thinking about it makes me kind of sad about my own mortality is dying without seeing ALIENS. I just need to see them.
>>218664117watched less than a minute of that dogshit video and could tell that fag smarmy grey haired cunt used a chatbot to write it all.this timeline is poiaoned
>>218664360My Grandad felt the same way, so when he was bedridden and dying of cancer and the end was obviously coming in a few days we dressed a guy we knew who had dwarfism in a suit that made him look like one of those little alien fellows they made the fake alien autopsy video of.We hid him under my Grandad's bed in the hospital and he came out at about 2am and just stood by the side of his bed until the next time grandad woke up, not saying a word. We smuggled him back out the next morning in a suitcase. We waited then until grandad woke up. Grandad was the happiest we had ever seen him, telling us about the alien who had visited him in the night and how it meant everything he had believed was true, and how blessed he was that they had chosen him to see before his time was up.I was there when he was finally dying a few days later, he called me close to him and whispered his last words in my ear. He struggled to get them out, but they were important to him: "Thank you for the alien." He breathed before falling back down to his pillow. With a few more short breaths he was gone.
>>218664308Loling at your inability to recognize a typo.
>>218663883I read the plot of the book on wikipedia some time ago and concluded that it was a lame shit story with reddit science thrown in it.
>>218664619John Cena's make a wishes are getting unconventional
>>218664626
>>218664708>GunnslopYep. Redditor confirmed.
>>218664743Curse Vishnu.
the textbook definition of a 6.5/10 movie.
>>218663971lol, stay in your lane darkie (raping goats and getting owned by jews)
>>218664755Seethe redditor.
>>218663883The bobiverse comparison is apt. It's awful.
>>218663971zutt zutt in the butt butt
>>218664875you haven't seen it, it isn't out yet you pathetic faggot
>>218664919I've read the book you retard.
>>218664919nta but I saw it last weekend in the UK, this is my rating >>218664791it's exactly what everyone expects it to be. also the climactic action sequence towards the end is directed so confusingly I could only tell what was happening because of context.
>>218664977no you didn't because its not out yet>>218664954you've never read a book in your life
>>218664919>>218664994Oh no no no reddittranny seething. Lmao.
Already got my ticket, it's gonna be my first time at cinema since autism Predator in 2018
>>218665021stupid faggot
>>218665025>>218665029YWNBW
Looks like it’s been scienced the hell out of
>>218664994it's listed as "now showing" because there were a bunch of advance screenings on saturday and sunday at my local Odeon.
>>218665044Science is heckin awrsome.
>>218665043no shit and who would want to be, you seem very confused
I'm Going To Go See It. Thank You For Informing Me.
guys im gonna send it im gonna have to hail mary this thing im gonna hit it with my best shot!
>getting praised everywhere, by everyone>/tv/ is have a schizophrenic meltdown over it must be kino, looking forward to my weekend viewing
>>218663883Im looking forward to it :'c
>>218663883>ummmmmmm soooo I met an alien
>>218665136its one guy he's been at it for a couple weeks now, he posts the same thread over and over every day
>>218665144Kek.
>>218663883I enjoyed The Martian and I will enjoy this one too
>>218663883Don't care. I'm going for Gosling kino
>>218665144rocky is not that kind of alien. I still think spoiling the movie in marketing was a big mistake.
>>218663883Saw it. Solid 4/10. Bogged Gosling was distracting.
>>218663940Agreed. Imagine the kind of subhuman who soifaces at this movie. Disgusting.
>>218663883Saw it solid 8/10, gosling was perfect
>>218664619there's um, something in my eye... yeah, that's it.
>>218663883Based. Andy Weir writes for manchildren.
Could it work on the big screen?
>>218665833This is proper sci-fi. So of course it won't get adapted.
>>218665833Is this any good?
>>218663883is it even released yet? fucking sperg
>>218663883the book is kino, anyone that hates its probably those weirdos maga anti science fags
>>218666259Yes. It has been released. Retarded faggot.
It’ll probably be a little cringe but ultimately a fun movie, like the Martian.I read the book and mostly enjoyed it, and OP is right about some Bobiverse Reddit humor tropes, but it didn’t ruin the whole thing
>>218663883>>218663883He fucking took the call?I seriously will never fathom why the fuck they pick it up. 99,9 % out of their people outside of their Hollywood bubble would tell them that they don't look human anymore.I think this the reason why I am hesitant to watch it. It looked wholesome on trailers otherwise. OP is full of hate and anger.
I don't know anything about it except I heard the ad on the radio and it has an unironic "uh, that just happened" type line in it, so I don't want to watch it.
>>218666434Good.
>>218666358That poster says 20th March, only in theaters.Show me nigger
>>218663883>>218663955give me a rundowni dont want to watch it
>>218668379then why do you want a rundown?
>>218664027Are you retarded? The IMAX release was last weekend, you missed it lol
I went into this movie completely blind, it was okay. I don't think it was particularly that good but Ryan Gosling sold the part for me. I just thought the plot was dumb and a bit out of taste considering America's going to war. Shit, if you drugged me and forced me against my will to kill myself, fuck you man I'm taking everyone down with me you ain't getting shit back. 6-7/10?
>>218668472so i dont have to watch it to know the "story and the ending were fucking great"?
I'll still go give it a watch because I got a free ticket code left. But I'm still afraid that it's just going to make me angry about how much of the book they're gonna butcher. The ship redesign alone makes me seethe.
>>218666206Its got some funny ideas but I found it a great read, Echopraxia is just more of the same, I prefer the starfish trilogy. Just don't read Watts for the good ending.
I'm waiting for the slop cam rip to decide if it's good or not. If it's good, then I will bring my girl to theater so she can slobber allover gosling. Usually, the sex is really good after that.
>>218668631Some parasite or whatever is eating sun rays. Teacher gets forced into space on a suicide mission to figure out a solution to this. He meets an alien and most of the movie is them bonding. They find out a solution to the sun shit and alien gives the MC fuel to go home so he doesn't need to die in space. Some drama happens and MC has to decide between going home or saving his alien buddy. He saves his alien buddy and his alien buddy brings him to his planet where he's pondering going home or staying on the planet to teach the alien kids.The end.
>>218665833I wished for an adaptation for years but now I'd rather not see it on film because I am afraid of how badly they would fuck up Valery from the sequel.
>>218667099Early release if you are an amazon prime enjoyer. It's already available since the 16th.
>>218668631jesus fucking christ I hate zoomers so much its unreal
>>218663883The book itself was reddit incarnate retard, so the only ones who will watch this shit are redditors and people obsessed with Gosling, pic related the book
>>218669019Is the entire thing written in first person like this? I was interested in reading it but now I'm repulsed.
>>218669019I feel somewhat less embarrassed of my writing.
>>218669019All his books sound like this, I don't know why it's so popular.
>>218668741thank you
>>218666050>mental handicaps are superpowersI didn't hate it... it's a decent book.But where your biases lay is also obvious.
>>218669019I listened to the audiobook and the guy who read it made all the cringe reddit dialogue even more obnoxious. Something about his voice filled me with rage.Rocky was cool though.
>>218663883>go to theater>1 ticket for hail mary please>sir we don't do solo tickets>did you just assume my gender?>they immediately capitulate to my superior intellect>movie starts>'THIS IS REDDIT THIS IS MEMES' over and over>asked to leave>say go fuck yourselves>multiple White police officers remove me>I'm charged with disturbing the peace>mom comes to pick me up>bunnykins when are you going to get a job>tell her that moderating 4chan is my job>she tells me I'm being committed>yeah right i'm totally fine>doctors at intake declare me non compos mentis within 30 seconds of meeting me>take off my clothes and start shitting all over the place>stab an orderly in the neck, bite another one's nose off>break into a rando's home>come here to warn you all about bad this movie isYou're welcome
>>218669019Christ
>>218669912thank you for your service
>>218669019what the fuck
>>218669816Audiobooks are cringe by default
>>218669019I'd rather read pic rel 1000x
>>218671781>this is "comedy" in the eyes of /pol/tards
>>218671843>muh pol tard REEEEEEEEthat's /lit/
>>218669221>I don't know why it's so popularI've found that novelty plays a big part in popularity. It's like porn, most people like something that's new to them. Sci-fi is at its core about how a massive leap in science changes our baseline human society and most people just have no examples of what that means. But with Star Wars for example, basically no scientific advancements (or aliens) in that setting appear to have changed anybody. So when something like The Martian puts someone on Mars, that's exciting, because that's about as basic bitch science as you get because just about everything in that book/movie happens because MAGIC has allowed for space travel that doesn't fucking kill everyone from radiation poisoning by the time they get to Mars.The public likes this shit for the same reason they like Big Bang Theory, they have no understanding of nerd fandoms so the show gets away with shovelling the most stereotypical jokes and the public loves it because they don't know better. I'm not saying sci-fi is some kind of highbrow artform because everyone has to start simple, but the fact is that we've been stuck with simple sci-fi forever with mainstream media. Look at Dune, three movies and by the end what will it all have been about, because it sure as hell hasn't been about science and trade monopolies tyrannizing humanity.
