I saw Ryan Gosling at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.

One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".

Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.

I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.

>go to movies by myself because I can
>ask ticket bitch for my ticket "ticket for one for Skyfall!"
>ticket bitch says "for ONE? what's it like going to the movies alone?"
>I say "Yes, for one. what's it like earning 9 dollars an hour?" laugh in ticket bitch's face and walk away
>walk up to stub ripper...say "IS THIS YOUR WHOLE JOB? YOUR PARENTS MUST BE SO PROUD LOL" rip my own stub because I'm not an idiot
>enter eatery, walk up to servant "what will you have?" she asks, "it's okay! I brought my own!" I say while showing her the contents of my backpack with cola and homemade popcorn inside
>turn to those behind me and say "ENJOY PAYING THREE BUCKS FOR COLA, MORONS"
>make my way to cinema doors...notice lots of couples
>"WHAT IS THIS? MAKE OUT HOUR? THIS IS A MOVIE MORONS, NOT A FUCKING LOVE IN, GTFO"
>laugh at them as they leave in embarrassment
>cinema all to myself, put my feet up and throw popcorn at my face because that's how I eat it

>>219218732
WTF I saw Bill Murray and he did the exact same thing.

>>219218847
Isn't this just a scene from Taxi Driver?

IN A WORLD
>*pans in to Vaush convention *
>Camera shows Cobson struggling to suck off five BBCs as...
>"AND TROONJAK TAKES SIX BBCs AT ONCE! WE HAVE A NEW SOROS ANTIRACIST WORLD CHAMP!!!"
>*Record scratch* *Freeze frame* *zoom in to Cobson's face in anguish*
>"NOOO!!!!!!"

>Flash cut to Cobson despondently walking in the rain
All around me are familiar faces
>"Oh man troonjak satisfied so many black bvlls again, at this rate I'll never be mod of r/rickandmorty"
>Book drops on Cobson's head which reads "Blacked Note"
Worn out places
>Cut to Cobson in room with Jefre Cantu-Ledesma
>"Yer' sayin' every name I write in here gets BLACKED?"
>"Oh my Zelensky...racism is fucked"
>Zoom in on Cobson writing Chud's name
>*beat*
>"AAIIIIEEE NOT MY WH*TE ANUS!!!!!"

CRAWLING IN MY SKIN
>Cut to Tyrone storming out of bedroom into Cobson's cuckshed
>"I don't even know who you are anymore!"
THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL
>*Chudcels assembling for battle against Cobson*
>"You saying we're some kinda buck breakers or something?"
>Cut to Cobson using the book to propel himself around Atlanta using dilators ejected from his neovagina
>360 panoramic shot of two soijaks pointing as geysers of African bvll cum erupt from the sewers

BWEEEEEW
>Shot of Yakub coming to Earth as The Last Of Us plays in the background
BWEEEEEW
>*Cobson and Tyrone conducting a beam struggle with their BBC's*
BWEEEEEW
>Cut to buck breakers defeated
>"We can't do it. He's too powerful!"
>Slow clapping sound as Derek Chauvin emerges from the shadows
>"Gentlemen... I believe I may be of assistance here."
>*earth shattering fart noise*

PARTY ROCKERS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT
>this summer is going to be
>*montage of bvlls fucking a PAWG*
>Troonjak walks in "aaawkward"
EVERYBODY JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME
>this summer is going to be…
>*montage of Sneed breaking bucks*
>Chud "based!"
>this summer is going to be!
>*montage of every time they say "blacked" in the movie*

>BLACKED
>BLACKED NOTE: part 1
>Rated PG 13

>Babish enters the nastiest state ran asylum his wife dumped him at - can't spend any money on private when she has a shopping month at Milan and Paris coming up. Such a strong independent queen.
>Dr. Greenblatt approaches
>"Oh my science, I’m just so heckin depressed and anxious that I’m literally going insane. SAVE ME SCIENCE MAN!!"
>Greenblatt gives Babish a look of mingled revulsion and confusion and beckons the orderlies Santos and Ferros the come over
>"Oh bless you science, heckin valid POC bodies and talents to take care of me!!" Babish exclaims. Santos and Ferros give him the stink eye
>Babish is wheeled at break neck speed in a stray jacket and wheelchair to the only available room
>"Oh science, this is just like my heckin movies! This is just like one flew over the cuckoo's nest! Oh, valid POCs, I know this is just for show but science bless you!!!"
>They dump him into a dingy damp room and lock the door. As Babish comes to his senses he notices Crazy Carl and Big Buck standing over him; his new roommates
>"Ayoo, this lil bitch seems mighty fiiiiine to me. Shieeeeet" says Big Buck. Crazy Carl begins cackling like the madman he is and always will be.
>"Oh, hello fellow cis white man and valid BIPOC. It’s ok for men to cry and show their emotions and go to therapy so I needed to check myself into a here to NORMALIZE THERAPY TO THE CHUDS and-- oh god wait what are these poor oppressed mentally ill individuals doing to me --NOOOOOOOOOO STOP GAPING ME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DONT STICK YOUR PENIS INSIDE OF MY ASSHOLE AND HUMP ME AGAINST MY WILL UNTIL YOU CUM INSIDE MY ANUS I JUST WANTED ANTI DEPRESSANTS AND THERAPY AND SYMPATHY FOR ATTENTION NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>219219048
made me hard

>>219219108
made me hard

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43 KB JPG

>>219218644
The Kate Beckinsale /ss/ vocaroo film adaption when?
https://vocaroo.com/18JjwK7CtaXy

>>219219391
>vocaroo
bruh...

>>219220059
Problem?