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Anonymous
BREAKINNG JONATHAN IS ALIVE 04/01/26(Wed)22:49:36 No.219227251
File: 89424564007-863814114.jpg (973 KB, 2560x1707)
973 KB
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BREAKINNG JONATHAN IS ALIVE Anonymous 04/01/26(Wed)22:49:36 No.219227251
A L I V E
>>
Anonymous
04/01/26(Wed)22:51:09 No.219227290
Anonymous 04/01/26(Wed)22:51:09 No.219227290
>>219227251
Sources tell me Jonathan is stable

Please God
>>
Anonymous
04/01/26(Wed)22:53:40 No.219227357
Anonymous 04/01/26(Wed)22:53:40 No.219227357
we are so fucking back
>>
Anonymous
04/01/26(Wed)23:00:12 No.219227549
Anonymous 04/01/26(Wed)23:00:12 No.219227549
I thought April Fools' Day pranks were supposed to be funny and silly. There was nothing funny about saying Jonathan died.
>>
Anonymous
04/01/26(Wed)23:01:29 No.219227585
Anonymous 04/01/26(Wed)23:01:29 No.219227585
>>219227251
nevermind the link text, apparently it was a cryptocuck scam
https://usatoday.com/story/news/world/2026/04/01/jonathan-oldest-tortoise-dies-st-helena/89424376007/
>>
Anonymous
04/01/26(Wed)23:01:47 No.219227594
Anonymous 04/01/26(Wed)23:01:47 No.219227594
File: Salute.jpg (80 KB, 650x668)
80 KB
80 KB JPG
>>
Anonymous
04/01/26(Wed)23:02:01 No.219227605
Anonymous 04/01/26(Wed)23:02:01 No.219227605
>Jonathan spends his days doing almost everything with his mate Frederik, another male tortoise he was introduced to in 1991, including eating, sleeping and having sex.
AYO HOL UP
>>
Anonymous
04/01/26(Wed)23:02:19 No.219227612
Anonymous 04/01/26(Wed)23:02:19 No.219227612
>>219227549
Yeah what a piece of shit. May a giant tortoise sit on his balls as he sleeps.
>>
Anonymous
04/01/26(Wed)23:02:50 No.219227635
Anonymous 04/01/26(Wed)23:02:50 No.219227635
>>219227605
Dude can still get it up at almost 200, leave him off.
>>
Anonymous
04/01/26(Wed)23:03:32 No.219227659
Anonymous 04/01/26(Wed)23:03:32 No.219227659
File: SO FUCKING BACK.mp4 (1.44 MB, 752x416)
1.44 MB
1.44 MB MP4
>>219227251
>>
Anonymous
04/02/26(Thu)01:01:03 No.219231067
Anonymous 04/02/26(Thu)01:01:03 No.219231067
UNBREAKABLE
>>
Anonymous
04/02/26(Thu)01:07:45 No.219231234
Anonymous 04/02/26(Thu)01:07:45 No.219231234
JONATHAN'S ALIVE?!
>>
Anonymous
04/02/26(Thu)02:44:36 No.219233497
Anonymous 04/02/26(Thu)02:44:36 No.219233497
>>219227251
Good, stay that way.
>>
Anonymous
04/02/26(Thu)06:26:18 No.219237297
Anonymous 04/02/26(Thu)06:26:18 No.219237297
File: turtles.jpg (140 KB, 1080x1080)
140 KB
140 KB JPG
>>
Anonymous
04/02/26(Thu)06:31:19 No.219237366
Anonymous 04/02/26(Thu)06:31:19 No.219237366
>>219237297

Look at that cat. Behind the window on the right. People might miss him 'cause they're too busy looking at the turtles.
>>
Anonymous
04/02/26(Thu)07:04:19 No.219237804
Anonymous 04/02/26(Thu)07:04:19 No.219237804
why didn't he stop slavery or the holocaust?
>>
Anonymous
04/02/26(Thu)07:05:33 No.219237825
Anonymous 04/02/26(Thu)07:05:33 No.219237825
>>219237366
What is he looking at?
>>
Anonymous
04/02/26(Thu)07:07:23 No.219237851
Anonymous 04/02/26(Thu)07:07:23 No.219237851
>>219227605
>Jonathan age: 193
>Frederick age: 32

Twinkbros...
>>
Anonymous
04/02/26(Thu)07:08:35 No.219237866
Anonymous 04/02/26(Thu)07:08:35 No.219237866
>>219237804
How do you know he didn't? Someone stopped them.
>>
Anonymous
04/02/26(Thu)07:12:13 No.219237922
Anonymous 04/02/26(Thu)07:12:13 No.219237922
>>219237851
Jonathan won bigly!
>>
Anonymous
04/02/26(Thu)07:57:41 No.219238549
Anonymous 04/02/26(Thu)07:57:41 No.219238549
>>219237851
Average gay relationship desu
That "age gap" debate does not exist for gays
>>
Anonymous
04/02/26(Thu)08:15:32 No.219238803
Anonymous 04/02/26(Thu)08:15:32 No.219238803
File: 5004.jpg (12 KB, 450x366)
12 KB
12 KB JPG
>>219237851

In the movie And The Band Played On, there's this old gay guy (Ian McKellen), and he has this young Asian boyfriend (BD Wong). That's what that gay tortoise reminded me of.
>>
Anonymous
04/02/26(Thu)08:27:08 No.219238977
Anonymous 04/02/26(Thu)08:27:08 No.219238977
>>219227251
The 'Than cannot be halted.
>>
Anonymous
04/02/26(Thu)09:14:00 No.219239835
Anonymous 04/02/26(Thu)09:14:00 No.219239835
>>219227290
heh
>>
Anonymous
04/02/26(Thu)09:20:59 No.219239965
Anonymous 04/02/26(Thu)09:20:59 No.219239965
>>219227251
Thanks for the correction, I was sad to hear the news he died. There was another one in India who lived to 255, he hatched in 1730. Would still be alive today probably except his shell cracked and he got an infection.
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