A L I V E
>>219227251Sources tell me Jonathan is stablePlease God
we are so fucking back
I thought April Fools' Day pranks were supposed to be funny and silly. There was nothing funny about saying Jonathan died.
>>219227251nevermind the link text, apparently it was a cryptocuck scamhttps://usatoday.com/story/news/world/2026/04/01/jonathan-oldest-tortoise-dies-st-helena/89424376007/
>Jonathan spends his days doing almost everything with his mate Frederik, another male tortoise he was introduced to in 1991, including eating, sleeping and having sex.AYO HOL UP
>>219227549Yeah what a piece of shit. May a giant tortoise sit on his balls as he sleeps.
>>219227605Dude can still get it up at almost 200, leave him off.
>>219227251
UNBREAKABLE
JONATHAN'S ALIVE?!
>>219227251Good, stay that way.
>>219237297Look at that cat. Behind the window on the right. People might miss him 'cause they're too busy looking at the turtles.
why didn't he stop slavery or the holocaust?
>>219237366What is he looking at?
>>219227605>Jonathan age: 193>Frederick age: 32Twinkbros...
>>219237804How do you know he didn't? Someone stopped them.
>>219237851Jonathan won bigly!
>>219237851Average gay relationship desuThat "age gap" debate does not exist for gays
>>219237851In the movie And The Band Played On, there's this old gay guy (Ian McKellen), and he has this young Asian boyfriend (BD Wong). That's what that gay tortoise reminded me of.
>>219227251The 'Than cannot be halted.
>>219227290heh
>>219227251Thanks for the correction, I was sad to hear the news he died. There was another one in India who lived to 255, he hatched in 1730. Would still be alive today probably except his shell cracked and he got an infection.