>objection, relevance>overruled, by Mr Anon, this had better be going somewhere
>>219264297It takes brass balls to ask for a judgement notwithstanding the verdict.
>>219264297>Your honor>my client cannot be guilty of a hate crime>for you see>HE ISN'T WHITEaudible gasp from back rows, judge has to hush everyone.>now when he raped anon and called him "nigger" the other anons demanded him to post hands>and as we all know The Klaus Scale, despite my client having blue eyes and blonde hair.>his skin color clearly is a 6/10>the defense rest
>Thank you, your honor. As I was saying- FIRE! THERE'S A FIRE IN THE COURTROOM! EVERYONE OUT! AAAAH!>*destroys all the evidence during the chaos*
>Thank you, your honor. I would just like to at this moment state very clearly to the Jury that if you convict my client you are gay
>>219264835>Gets disbarred
>>219264297>Thank you, your honor.>*farts loudly*>I believe I've made my point.
>>219264990>*wheezing laughter*>And also>Your honor>Um>Small penises.
>>219264996>Appeals the disbarment >At the hearing get up to speak >"Thank you all for inviting me here to defend myself but before i be-FIRE! THERE'S A FIRE IN THE COURTROOM! EVERYONE OUT! AAAAH!"
>>219264835Tell me why this wouldn't work
>>219265245>Live Supreme Court reaction
>>219264297>She has no reason whatsoever for wanting her baby dead.> So why did this terrible thing happen? >What kind of God would sit by and let such a horrendous thing happen to one of his children? Believe me, I've thought about this long and hard, and as far as I can see, there is only one reason. >There is one reason only why a tragedy this outrageous could have happened, ladies and gentlemen.>God wanted it to. >>Objection! (Actual dialogue)
Post your judgefu
>>219265505
>>219265245Kek
>>219265505The one from the GROUNDZ?! trial
>>219264297>"Yes, your honor. I've discovered something that I believe will be of great interest to all present here today.">hands out several paper clipped file folders to the judge, jury, bailiff, and recorder>everyone slowly reacts with confusion and disgust>"MR. ANON! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?!">"I have used generative AI to create nine hundred and eleven images of me fucking the opposing counsel's mother... in a truck stop bathroom.">confused chatter and mumbles>"Now, I will say, I did have to take some creative liberties to obtain this evidence. As my opponent's mother has been dead for 30 years, and there are no clear images availible to public record, I have opted to just use his face, with a blond wig and lipstick">chatter becomes overwhelming>"I WILL HAVE ORDER IN MY COURT">the judge gavels them all into silence>"MR ANON, This is HIGHLY unusual. And I-">"Wait your honor, before we move on, I would like to direct everyone's attention to page 72... Could that be?">holds up image, and shows it to the entire courtroom>"That's right, ladies and gentlemen, it looks like Bill Murry was also taking turns on her. But that's not all..." >"If you direct your attention to page 93, you can see quite clearly she was fucking the entire Denver Broncos starting line up.">"MR. ANON... MY OFFICE. NOW!"
I rest my case your honour
>>219264297THIS IS KANGAROO COURT
