Somehow, Jesus has returned
>>219368126That's next week tho
Isn't Easter next sunday?
>>219368173No, it’s today
>>219368126way to fuck it up OP.
>>219368150>>219368173The first thing that comes to mind when I think of Orthodoxy is Eastern European shitholes >you'll know a tree by it's fruit
>>219368126>read The Bible>love Jesus>hate God
>>219368210You blogging?
>>219368271Goku could take on the Demiurge.
>>219368309Orthos believe Easter is a week after all the other Christians do, so the comment is relevant.
OH NICE SAVIOR!
>>219368339shut the fuck up faggot
>>219368126>comes back to life>immediately fucks off to heaven so it can't be provenThis is going to come as a shocker, but I think the jews might have lied...
>>219368411I'm gonna get my hands on you, You fucking desert demon!
>tfw you realize god exists
>>219368411This place is thoroughly unimpressive.
>>219368150you mean jesus slept in for an entire week?
>oh yeah that happened
>>219368543We're still on God's 7th day of rest. Lazy
>>219368339Wonder how many times Goku had to be reincarnated before he finally rolled Saiyan
>>219368126So where is he?
>>219368126Looking forward to next years reposting
>>219368473Don’t forget that only 500 people claimed they saw him. Not a lot when you consider it was supposed to be in the epicenter of the world at that time
Can someone post the chalmers Easter edit please
>>219368411If I was god, I think the first thing I would change is I would make it so living things didn't have to tear each other apart and consume their flesh just to go on living.That seems like a bad way to design things. An evil way actually. Like a nightmare hellscape from which there is no escape.I think the second thing I would change is I wouldn't make 99.9999% of the universe instantly lethal to life. Seems like a bit of an oversight. Spend all this time designing lifeforms and making sure they don't jerk off only for a big rock to plow into their planet and wipe them all out.
>>219368642>epicenter of the world at that timeIsrael was a backwater trash hole that the Romans barely wanted to deal with. The center of the world was Rome
>>219368473Its heavily documented that the stone moved. It would take 100 soldiers to push the stone yet Jesus did it on his own.
>>219368664>I think the second thing I would change is I wouldn't make 99.9999% of the universe instantly lethal to life. Seems like a bit of an oversight. Spend all this time designing lifeforms and making sure they don't jerk off only for a big rock to plow into their planet and wipe them all out.>he believes space is real and not NASA faking photos to get infinite tax money
>>219368684The sun gives you cancer. The thing in the sky you can’t turn off and is needed for nearly everything on earth will kill you if you’re exposed to it for more than a couple hours
>>219368642Just more lies to sell the religion to people decades later.>of course he came back to life, 500 people saw it. Source: dude trust me bro>>219368678>I know that the bible is true because the bible tells me that the bible is true.
>>219368664He needs a snickers.
Joyess am I. Thank you Lord
>>219368210Still the only true Christianity, like it or not, hereticbro
>>219368664>If I was god, I think the first thing I would change is I would make it so living things didn't have to tear each other apart and consume their flesh just to go on living.God literally did that, but man brought sin & death into the world. WE chose this cursed, evil existence. Not God. We had a choice between obedience and disobedeince, between good and evil, paradise and hell.You know what we chose. YOU were there, you spat in God's face just as you spat in Christ's face when he was carrying his cross. YOU did this. We all did. We are all guilty.
>>219368728That's why God created people perfect with protection from the sun.The sun only burns the demonic forces that are trying to destroy God's chosen people.This is where we get the idea of vampires.
>>219368853>WE chose this cursed, evil existence>WEI didn't eat the forbidden fruit
>>219368890You literally (figuratively) did though. Adam & Eve represented all mankind. All mankind is guilty forever (unless washed clean in the blood of Christ)
>>219368910>Adam & Eve represented all mankindI didn't vote for that
>>219368853Non Serviam.
>>219368877Pretty sure vampires are based off Eastern European JewsNosferatu is basically about why you shouldn’t let them in your country
>>219368910>All mankind is guilty foreverThat sounds like some fucking commie gobbledygook.
>>219368910Punishing people for things they didn’t do is not what a just God would doHe also wouldn’t condone slavery so much
>>219368561this only proves that jesus was a reptilian
>>219368210Eastern Europe is comfy as shit tho
>>219368853>okay Timmy, don't eat out of that cookie jar>TIMMY WHAT DID I TELL YOU, NOW I HAVE TO KILL YOUR LITTLE BROTHER>YOU CHOSE THIS TIMMY>STOP CRYING, YOU'RE GOING IN THE WOODCHIPPER NEXT>WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THIS TIMMY?>I WILL BURN THIS WHOLE WORLD TO THE GROUND
Old Testament God is more or less Klaus kinski... On a good day.
>>219368984Punishing you for something you didn't do is the only perfect form of justice from which all other justice is derived from. Without God's perfect judgement there is no conception of good and evil.
>>219368348It’s not all orthodox. Some use the Gregorian calendar
>>219369021Yes, this is righteous. If Timmy did not want his little brother to be killed, why did he rebel against his father's perfect & ultimate commandment?
>>219369108they still celebrate it next week
>>219368853women really do ruin everything
>>219369103The world pretty much agrees that collective punishment is wrong and amounts to a war crime in some casesAlso, why didn’t God just give Adam and Eve knowledge of good and evil when he made them?
>>219368498based
>>219368126Joseph Fiennes made this exact movie with him as the Roman
>>219369393knowledge of good and evil is a bad thing midwitbro
>>219368537Being unable to feel any joy just means that you are either unsuccesful in life or mentally ill. That’s nobody normal takes this schizo shit seriously, because it screams ”made by dysgenetics”.
>>219368678If it would take 100 soldiers to push the stone how did Jesus's body get put in there?
>>219368473>immediately40 days
Praise the Lord Jesus Christ our Savior https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKkE2TPdCt8
>>219369526They literally needed the entire Roman army stationed in Jerusalem to move it into place
>>219368126
>this stupid thread for the 5th straight year*YAWN*
>>219368853I dunno the spesifics on garden of eden weren’t that layed out. Besides, was eternal torture really a fitting punishment for wanting know more?
>>219368959>Nosferatu is basically about why you shouldn’t let them in your countryBecause your wife would sleep with them?
>>219368126Just put on Passion after my cuppa
>>219369604You mad that your soul wont be saved? Enjoy eternity in hell.
>>219369610Yes, it's the perfect punishment & perfect justice for all crimes and sins and imprefections also only the elect can be saved so God created the world knowing who would be saved and who wouldn't and He chose those who would be saved and no one who wasn't elected can ever be saved
>>219368126>Somehow, Jesus has returnedHe said, we will be back.
>>219369668Yeah thanks for posting this retardation. I sometimes pray to god myself but none of it makes any sense if you think about it even a bit.
>>219369521Neurotypical hylic.
>>219369393>The world pretty much agrees
>i want... to be resurrected and hang out with my friends againWtf did Jesus blackmail God??
>>219368890I know some "sects" (couldn't name them though) and philosophies surmise that, the "sin" was what "accidentally" fucked up the cosmic order and set off the chain of events that lead to that, rather than God specifically punishing humanity
>>219368126>Look who came out of his cave?
>>219369897On the topic of gnosticism, it really shows how the ”4chan types” have always been the same. It was made 2000 years ago but it rambles on about the same subjects as your usual 4chan incel thread. How normal life is actually hell and how most people are NPCs because they just don’t get it lol
>>219370038Somebody grew-up privileged.I bet you had family vacations.
>>219370038Platonism and Buddhism hold to similar ideas.
>>21936954540 days was just a reference to the 40 years the jews wandered the desert before finding the promised land and the 40 days Moses spent on mount sinai. They like to make up numbers like this.
This why I like Odin, He doesn't give a fuck about me.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTnNsIgQArM
>>219368498>tfw they also realized every other deity also exist
It feels me with great joy knowing God loves me
>>219370292
>>219368126>Humanity?>YOU MADE ME PUT YOU ON A CROSS FOR THREE DAYS FOR THAT PIECE OF SHIT HUMANITY?!>YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER!>forgive them, father, they know not what they do>Forgive them?! Longinus, put him outta his misery
>>219370292>>219368498As I age out of edginess I'm starting to suspect that there's only one Religion Story that more or less happened and everybody in the world has a different flawed misremembered version of itLike I've grown to wonder how bronze age people on different continents all reached the conclusion that the universe was ruled by cruel and psychotic superhumans but then one guy showed up that had compassion for humanity and was less of an asshole and did something important to make the universe more tolerable for mortals (and was then horrifically punished by his peers for this)Also all our asses were definitely underwater at some point, everyone on earth knows that one guy who had to hop in a boat when everybody drowned - and whadya know, we have a genetic bottleneck where everyone on earth died except for ~1,000 peoplePeople dunk on all the sadistic shit YHWH pulls in the Old Testament but fuck it's downright Cosmic Horror if the universe is run by a guy that's as much of an asshole as Zeus
>>219368126He came back? Good. Now maybe he can pay his overdue rent.
>>219370425Fucking kek!
>>219368993t. amerimutt thats never left the country
>>219370642Am a yank who's lived in EE, it's not comfy in the Southern Euro style but it has a more quaint charm especially in the summers. Just don't stand out and you blend in usually was the gameplan. Just be careful where you choose to speak Russian and you'll be fine.
>>219368126>comes back>does nothing>story just endsWhat was the point?
>>219369617Because they bring disease and murder young women. It's what Orlock does when he gets to Germany.
>>219369503Without it, you just have blind obedience.
>>219370100With hard work, shouldn't you be able to overcome a bad childhood according to right wing ideology?
>>219370953Blind obedience is what christians are all about. They want to be slaves. They literally call themselves sheep.
>>219370917You have to wait until March 26, 2027
>>219370881no
>>219369526100 soldiers did it
You're a pious guy.
>>219370992>Pull yourself up from your bootstraps. Thanks Dad...
He somehow returned, but then conveniently left again.
>No body?
>Drake?>What?>Where is the body of Christ?
>Be not afraid.How do you respond without sounding scared?
>>219371274>unzips dick
>>219371274We see eye to eye in this
>>219370519Alot of cultures have myths of a sky deity fighting a serpent, really makes you think
>>219371456Yeah, I wonder where that idea comes from. Not birds vs snakes, certainly. Or even little birds vs earthworms.
>Jesus if you are out there please come back. This house just isnt complete without you. If anybody sees him please send a messenger after me, I just really really want him back.
>>219371274>im kind of afraid, can you do the bit where you turn into a person with wings please?
>actually believing its real
>>219370931Sounds like cope to me. Medieval people weren't that smart and just used whatever scapegoat they could. Same reason why Japanese blamed everything on white people when they arrived
>>219371599We don't have to believe, we know it for certain.
>GUYS GUYS, I HAVE GREAT NEWS. Jesus is alive!>Woah really? Where is he? I have to see this.>Oh... well he kinda left.>Really? Well where did he go? We need to follow him.>Well you see... he actually went to heaven.>But I thought you said he's alive.>He is... he is alive... but then he ascended into heaven.>How is that different from being dead?>Look, don't worry about that. The important thing is that Jesus put me in charge before he left.>He did? How do I know this isn't a trick?>Well... he gave me some powers before he left. I call it the Holy Ghost.>Like the Ghost of Jesus? It really sounds like he's dead...>Here, I can prove it. Watch this. [INCOHERENT BABBLING]>What was that?>That was real Latin.>Well I guess that proves it. I mean I can't speak Latin, but if you say so.
>>219371653>We don't have to believe, we know it for certain.If you know for certain than it's not belief.
>>219371662Didn't that guy literally spend all of his life constructing a theorem to become the perfect fedorapagan barbarian philosopher king and then at the end killed himself because he got sad seeing someone being mean to a horse?
Oh, maxi big da force
>>219371274>gee, you get SIX wings?
>>219371801why did they draw it so sexy
>>219371801PVRE SEX
>>219371556>oh wow now I am feeling really insecure about myself, can you turn into a cute baby with wings instead?
>books about him werent written until 400 years later
>>219372254That's all of Classical HistoryHell, 90% of all leaders/wars/empires we even know of come from the writings of one autist who readily admitted that a lot of it was rumors and shit he made up centuries after the fact
>>219370992I had a great childhood, that’s why I’m far right now
>>219372401>exatly how the talmud says
>>219372319Historians were chads back then
>>219371732nothing you said is true
>>219372401so to be clear herethe gap in the record in Christianity proves that the records weren't there and the jews secretly created thembut also the gap in the record in literally everything else from that era proves that the records were there and the jews secretly destroyed them
>>219372254Thats bullshit, the Gospels were literally written by the people who knew Jesus the most.
>>219372319It also doesn't help that certain people had a hard on for smashing up temples and documentshttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michel_Fourmont
>>219372493No one believes in awe inspiring Jewish superpowers more than antisemites doAsk that dude how they convinced America that 9/11 actually happened and wasn't just CGI on TV
>>219372401>why are they destroying these false idols people are worshipping?! must suck being sub 80 IQ
>>219372657>the Sphinx in that infographicwhen the fuck did Christians ever rule Egypt?
>>219372657You will spend eternity burning in hell. Hope this helps.
>>219372692>>219372695Its a bot
>>219371732Look at modern world. Women are winning. I'm a male but the older i get the more hilarious all these male philosophers and their theories seem to me. We are entering the age of women and male-centered religions, political ideologies ect., none of it will matter. We are the obselete sex.
>>219368910>You literally (figuratively) did thoughThis sentence perfectly describes judeo-christkikery
>>219372734>I don't know if they did or didn'tTo be honest I didn't expect you to admit that while spamming poorly written schizo infographics
>>219372834>it's irrelevant whether it happened or not, the important thing is that it's true and that justifies killing everyone I disagree withYou should start your own religion, you're actually awesome at it
>>219372692https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_EgyptFrom 324 to 628
>And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.I really like this verse, it’s just “oh yeah and when Jesus was dying a bunch of zombies came out, shit was crazy” and does not elaborate at all
>>219368853>WeBut it was millenia ago, I wasn't bornGreat "loving" god lmao, punishing billions of peoples because one bitch ate a apple millenia ago
>>219372692Kek you aren't the brightest in history, are you? Not knowing entire three centuries of egyptian history, as the other anon pointed out.
>>219372976>he's started dumping his wojak folder
>>219368271If you read the Bible then you'd know Jesus is God.
>Father! Father! Why have you forsaken me!? Thoughbeit you also ARE me, so I guess I'm talking to myself right no- ACK!
>>219373079Jesus is a chill dude for the most part. God is always bitching and complaining like an old jew.
>>219373154>create reality>give a designated order to everything >gift humans with divine intelligence>love them>they don't do the things you designed them to doI'd be mad to desu
>>219370519It's kinda hard to explain but if you look around at the way reality is structured and delve into philosophy and study society and politics, all of it seems to point towards the existence of God, and once you come to that conclusion you can begin to extrapolate His nature by the structure of His creation. There is a reason a lot of religions have similar values and connections on certain things, some are just more complete than others
>>219373612>create humans>love them>they don't do the things you designed them to doWelcome to parenthood.
>>219373612>>love themHe allowed Job to be tortured just because the Devil dared him
>>219373086Jesus is actually quoting Psalms 22. He's not questioning God.
