Mario chads win again
>>219373338My wife is on it, I don't care if the plot sucks.
>>219373489Who is your wife?
>>219373338It's Mario, of course it will make that kind of money. It's just a shame Nintendo hasn't given a fuck since the death of Satoru Iwata and we can't have something better, because it could have been so much better. And I saw it
>>219373489there is no plot
>>219373338Is being a critic a psyop? Their job doesn't affect anything but they still get paid.
>>219375811being a critic is an old form of "content creation" that was easily farmed. They in general have no power now cause everything is an IP and immune to criticism and sells to its already built in fan base. This movie is bad, it has no actual story, or even real characters. It is a series of action set pieces where things just happen with 0 stakes or consequences. Id say it has numerous plot holes, but it has no plot to poke holes in. Critics are right to shit on it, as is their job, but it doesn't matter at all.
>>219375909Even with non-established movies, critics don't matter.>new slop that critics praise comes out>audiences don't get spurred in watching it
>>219373338Because studios get 100% of the box office.This again. Proving once more there are no barriers to entry in online writing.
Gt
I loved the first movie And this one killed all my hope for this while cinematic universe. Everything that made the first one work is totally absent here.
>>219375909they’re meant to critique whether it’s a good mario movie, not if it’s good as arthouse
its a stupid cartoon movie for children, i dont know why critics where shitting on it so hard, especially british ones
>>219373338This is just going to reinforce that kids will only watch a movie it it’s paced and edited like a short form video. I swear plot points were happening one minute apart for the entire movie. You could show scenes out of order and it wouldn’t make any difference they were so disconnected from each other.
>>219380413Because the first one actually managed to be good.
>>219373338Rosalina is extremely cute.
>>219375757How is he still alive?
>>219380413Just because it's a kid's movie doesn't mean it has to be slop.
>>219380413Children deserve better
>>219373338>vote with your walletDemocracy has failed us
>>219375909refags and vydiafags will defend this tripe. in the case of requeers they legit want leon etc to wander around muh scary mansion solving puzzles. nintendrones wanted bing bing wahoo and thats what they got
>>219380378No, they're meant to review if its a good kids movie. Ebert was pretty fair in this issue. He gave kids movies more freedom on predictability and tropes because of the audience they were designed for.
>>219373338>more than sonic 1's total gross in one weekend>almost more domestic in one weekend than sonic 2's total domesticthe rat is dead, bury it
>>219381312>>219381311how is it slop? and kids clearly love it.
>>219373338>Hollywood studio makes money>I WIN!!!!!It's hard to argue against the jews when they say everyone else are just cattle.
>>219382735Do they? They loved the FIRST movie (so did I) which is why they showed up for this. Second weekend will show what its legs are. General feeling I'm getting from reviews and from seeing it three times is excitement is lower; showings of 1 were electric and I heard multiple kids walking out saying it was the best movie they'd ever seen. The kids haven't been laughing at the screenings I attended.
>grown adults defending their love of shit by proclaiming it was made for people without fully developed brains.
Critics hate movies that are trying to entertain children rather than brainwash them
Bad reviews are just from people who hate italians
kids, unlike adults, lack the cognizance to be critical enough to hate on something made for them, especially an established bright and colorful IP, so when a movie like this comes out kids want to see it and hearing other kids say they want to see it makes the other kids they know also want to see it until your entire grade and school is interested, then you have the parents who don't really care if its that good or bad so long as its not gay and gonna make their kids into tranny communists so they'll take their kids to these movies so long as they have enough money and as expensive as our country is people aren't too broke to afford 2 or 3 movies visits a year, thats why its easy to make a boatload with a kids movie especially one based on a popular video game series
>>219375757weird that I haven't heard from him in near 2 decades and first thing I hear about him is that he likes the super mario sequel movie
>>219375909>no actual story>no plotI keep hearing this and I find it hard to believe, what kids movie has no story? i may be a simple barebones story but I've never heard of a kids movie without a plot, surely they're doing something beyond just living in the mario world
>>219373338I refuse to believe this movie made money. Hollywood fakes numbers all the time.
>>219380413i havent seen it but this idea that you can't be critical about a kids movie is idiotic, I grew up in a near golden age of kids film and after the first 10 years of 21st century is obvious theres been a clear decline
>>219383265It's got a story but it's THREADBARE. There's one major plotline and it's "Save Rosalina" but 95% of the movie could be removed without effecting how that story plays out, but they forgot to fill that extra time with character development or laughs or thrills or anything. It's just go to place, get info, go to next place, *maybe fight somebody, repeat til movie ends.
>>219381171why would he be ded?
>>219380413I fully agree with you. It would be great if especially that whole RT, Metacritic thing could be disempowered and ultimately removed
>>219383384I assumed he had some weird illness that made him look like that
>>219383265It has a plot. The people saying it doesn't were simply put off by how frenetic it is so they stopped paying attention. They can't keep up, so they dismiss the movie as plotless
>>219383491He does, he has a growth hormone deficiency so he'll look like a kid the rest of his life. It's not life threatening afaik though.
>>219383377checked, sounds ok from that description, save Rosalina seems right in line with your typical Mario save princess from castle storylines
>>219383491gary coleman didn't de young
>>219383786Seems like you're missing the part where they didn't fill the runtime up with anything
Saw this flick a few hours ago. It was pretty good. I wonder if thr next one is going to be a Nintendo Princess movie given Daisy is now in the mix.
Being furious about this movie is as pathetic as baseding out hardcore over this movieThe normal responses are "I was pretty bored" and "Yeah that was fun"It's just a whatever movie
>>219373338Yo Mario, I'm really happy for you and Imma let you finish, but Wario had one of the best video [games] of all time. All time!
>>219384201he's coming eventually, there's no way they don't do a third to cap off the trilogy
>>219373338I have seen neither of them. Why exactly is there so much criticism of both? Too woke? Not woke enough? Not faithful? Just shit?
>>219384233>thirdLol, anon, this franchise is making it to 20 movies, easy
>>219384274No wokeness really. It's a buck standard video game Pixar-esque animated movie. My only complaint is that Mario/Luigi don't have italian accents.
>>219384274The people who aren't into Mario games just see them as mediocre kids moviesThe people who are into Mario games are furious that they didn't respect the lore (There was a guy who went on for 200 posts last night about the themes of transformation in Galaxy 1 that the movie "had to include")
If he were still alive James Gandolfini would have been such a good Mario
>>219384201imagine the fucking smell, no wonder they didn't bring him in
ok but when are we getting the real kino?
>>219384457I think Zelda is going to be dipping their toes into a movie targeted at kids over tenIf it does well we'll get a Metroid game that's about as serious as like Star Wars or something idk
I WANT TO MARRY ROSALINA
>>219380413>WHAT, YOU DARE ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN AN HOUR AND 30 MINUTES WITHOUT BEING EXPOSED TO BROWN SKIN?
LETSFUCKINGO
>>219384727Does she even have screentime? I heard she's in the movie briefly, but I'm willing to give it a shot due to Brianne
>>219384201too based for film
>>219385312She's in it a fair bit but she is a damsel character
>>219384457Much harder to pull off than mario tbqh, for one thing there would be a lot less dialogue. I think they're saving it for last, if ever.
>>219384457They're probably waiting to see how the Zelda movie does so they can decide if they'll make a live action or cartoon Metroid movie.
>>219385737Samus would need a mouthpiece and would need more of a motivation to help out. Unlike Fox, she wouldn't have needed an economic incentive to get involved.
>>219383515Because things happen arbitrarily. Peach leaves to go save Rosalina. Mario stays to protect the Kingdom and then just treks along to meet up with Peach, for no reason. The characters completely lack motivation. Bowser Jr is able to fly around and find anyone he wants no issue, Rosalina, Bowser, whoever. While the other characters have no clue where to go and are aimless. It's utterly directionless. Bowser goes from friendly to foe for no reason. This is not peoples inability to keep up, it's the movies sheer lack of having a story.
>>219385969She's a bounty hunter. Her entire motivation is economic incentives
>>219386087No she's not, that was just a word they thought sounded cool
>>219384201>>219384233Yea, they did lone yoshi, the next thing is like to do Yoshis as a species, Wario, Daisy, possibly bring back kongs, do more cameos from Animal Crossing, Splatoon, F-zero and so on. I could literally see the next movie being called "Mario Party"
>>219384457As long as she doesn't show any disgusting, gross emotions (aka Dread and Other M).I want my soulless, emotionless murder machine, no waifushit.
>>219386021>Peach leaves to go save RosalinaRosalina literally sends a Luma to her asking her for help>Mario stays to protect the Kingdom and then just treks along to meet up with Peach, for no reasonPeach' castle getting taken by Bowser Jr, and then Bowser escaping with his son might have had something to do with it>Bowser goes from friendly to foe for no reasonHe's a criminal who was imprisoned. His son busting him out allows him to return to being that. Plus he kind of wants to impress his kid. Plus get revenge on the brothers
>>219386124Every description of Samus you'll find is that she's a bounty hunter. Are you on drugs or something?
>>219386468>Peach' castle getting taken by Bowser Jr, and then Bowser escaping with his son might have had something to do with itconfirmed for not being able to follow the movie.
>>219386540Look it up Nintendo genuinely did not know what that meant until Prime 3
>>219386278Doing Galaxy as the second movie was nuts and I felt that way since they announced it. The setup was done for Yoshi's Island, it's what they should have done second so obviously.
>>219386695mario is known for its speed running
>>219373338Snoys lost again
>>219386540Yea, she can be multiple things, idk what he's on out. You can be a bounty hunter and then also see a planet is in danger and be an altruistic hero to save it.
>>219386910Sony is making the zelda movie.... soooooo.......
>>219386910Please keep your /v/ autism on the designated containment board.
>>219385616>there would be a lot less dialogue.Clearly you never played Metroid Fusion or Other M...
>>219384201Wario is so based, drives big sexy cars and has the better games
>>219383377>>219386021>>219375909What the fuck is this retardation. It's a great story, it's perfectly adapted and gets all the references to the games right. How can you not follow a fucking "save the princess" plotline??? how fucking stupid are you?
it felt like i was taking crazy pills when i finally watched the Sonic movies and they were irredeemable dogshit that shat all over the source material.Are critics and Sonic fans that delusional?
>>219388318Obviously not quite as stupid as you, lmfao
>>219388318>it's a great storyId love to know what you put on par as a great story with this movie.
>>219388828Eyes Wide Shut, Elephant Man, and Possession are solid too
>>219388880>Great story>Eyes Wide Shut>Elephant Man>Possession>The Super Mario Galaxy Movie
>>219380304The voice acting was horrible in the 1st movie
>>219383377The movie had so many pointless montages too. There was the montage that showed how Yoshi got into the warp pipe. There was another montage of Star Fox's crew that was 2D animated for some reason. I think there was a third montage with Bowser Junior. We're now getting studies that bombarding childrens' brains with quick and unrelated stimuli is actually hurting their growth. They can't follow stories when all they're seeing is BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM for hours on end.
>>219389039This is something I'm not seeing anyone talk about, the voices were so much better here. I didn't notice Chris Pratt being Chris Pratt at all, he was fine
>>219386087>saves cute animals
>>219389070>There was the montage that showed how Yoshi got into the warp pipe.Which is also played for a joke. They ask Yoshi how he got here and it plays it solely for the audience and then Mario reacts as if nothing happened. The sequence of events is mixed up a lot, to jump around to not stay in one place too long. It's nearly down to a science to not let any scene go longer than 150 seconds.
>>219386412I want Zero Suit Samus waifu.
Imagine my shock
>>219385312she cute
>>219375909Snoys be seething kek. A roller coaster doesn't need a plot to be fun, and that's what this movie is. I understand you cucks hate it due to lack of blonde girls getting blacked lmao.
>>219389560>A roller coaster doesn't need a plot to be fun,A roller coaster has ups and downs, this movie doesn't have a single down beat or alternative motion at all. It's not a roller coaster, it's a light show, which at a certain point just hurts your eyes and gives you a headache. It's full of "I clapped" moments and nothing substantial. Even the games have more emotional resonance than this movie. It is a step down from the source material.>I understand you cucks hate it due to lack of blonde girls getting blacked lmao.I dont even know wtf you mean by this?
>>219389874>which at a certain point just hurts your eyes and gives you a headacheAre you that boomer critic that felt so hurt because of the lack of gayniggers that he almost had a heart attack and started to stick his pen in his ass to aleviate his seething? Kek go to sleep boom boom you're past your pill time.
>>219390236No wonder you loved the movie, your posts show how damn brain rotted you are. Not everyone is obsessed with homosexuals and blacks like you are.
>>219380304Yeah, I think that the first movie only worked because Nintendo was breathing down Illumination's neck so they wouldn't pull a shitty ADHD girl-power fantasy, but now Nintendo and Miyamoto are busy with the Zelda movie so Illumination got free reign to pull a minions movie with a Mario skin. Hope Nintendo uses their new in-house studio for the inevitable Starfox and Pikmin movies.
>>219384457Impossible to pull, since they would have to give Samus an actual personality and there's nothing Metroidfags hate more than that. She should just tag along for the Starfox movie. She wouldn't need an actual personality plus they wouldn't have to water down the Metroid Universe to make it suitable for toddlers, just throw her in a cool and fun space adventure with the Starfox team as the strong independant plank of a character that the fans love so much.
>>219375811Critics are nothing but parasites. If they knew what makes a movie, song or book good, they'd be creating it instead of commenting on what others do. No one wants to be a critic when they grow up. A critic is what you get when someone fails at art and journalism.
>>219380480That's because it's just a collection of 8 second long Sora AI videos cobbled together masquerading as a film
i took my 3 and 5 year olds to see it yesterdaythat's how it makes money
>>219373338CONSERVATISM WINS AGAINGO WOKE GO BROKE
For me, it's A Minecraft Movie. Movie was actually decent.
>>219392037Yea I went with my g/f and her 4 kids and her 2 baby daddys, that's 8 people right there.
>>219373338Saw this Saturday with the family. There was zero effort put into this movie beyond the CGI. It's nothing more than a fan service/callback highlight reel with zero substance or story. it was one long montage of nothing happening and a shit ton of "haha hey millennials remember this?" along with a silly joke to make the kids laugh.>>219392037It's such an obvious and simplistic formulaic cashgrab meant to attract nostalgia seeking millennial parents. It's like an AI wrote this movie.
>>219395368It's kind of impressive how little plot it had. Even the first one had a story, albeit generic
So are the dweebs that got stuffed in a locker for saying the 90s Super Mario Bros movie sucked finally realizing they deserved it once they saw what a "faithful" Mario film looked like?
>>219395585>the 90s super mario bros movieThe movie with implied racemixing? That one?
Children love it, that the market.
>>219373338>brie Larson is in a successful movieWE ALWAYS LIKE BRIE
>>219373338It was good, I just don't see how it is supposed to be worst than any marvel movie.
>>219388419It's hard carried by the model change.
>>219394262I’ll give it to you. Half of the scenes have huge Jew-coded villain stereotypes. OTOH the SMB2 bosses are the only ones with Latinx accents. I was pleasantly surprised that this movie gets nostalgia from my generation. It feels like this is the movie Miyamoto and his team really wanted to make, unlike the first movie. The reviewers (and those in this thread) are too young for this movie, they didn’t grow up with these feels.
>>219396417Marvel movies at least have some kind of source material to derive some kind of plot from. The onus was on Hollywood to create something themselves for this movie, and it proved yet again that they're completely incompetent when they don't have something to draw from, which is probably why the plot is little more than a princess being kidnapped and Mario wahoo-ing until the end.
>>219373338No surprises there, It's a very good Mario movie. Although it's for kids, I was able to enjoy it without much problem. It appeals to nostalgia enough without overdoing it. And it doesn't have as many songs as Disney movies usually overuse. It definitely should win an Oscar for Best Animated Film. Although the Oscars don't mean anything nowadays :/
>>219398342When will namefags figure out they're the absolute bottom of the barrel and that the second they pick a name and use it in more than one thread they've voluntarily entered the lowest caste of poster here
>>219396059I watched Drinkers take on the new movie because I was curious.The amount of fence sitting is insane.He knows that movie is awful but can't alienate your core audience with opinions they don't appreciate.
>>219398611
Why should the Mario movies have “muh plot” when the games barely have them? Just go do a bunch of wacky shit between point A (princess is kidnapped) and point Z (bowser is killed, princess is saved).
>>219396988>the plot is little more than a princess being kidnapped and Mario wahoo-ing until the end>From a movie based off a game series who’s entire history is a princess being kidnapped and Mario wahoo-ing until the endIt’s true to the source material and not insulting to fans. These are very important things when making adaptations these days. Just because it’s a movie, why does the plot now have to be some Oscar-caliber narrative? You can watch that God of War adaptation months from now and tell me how it works out when it’s super narrative driven.
Yeah okay but when are we getting the super mario sunshine movie?
>>219383102The corporate subservience of nostalgiaslop IS brainwashing. Corpos rule the world, the art you consume should never be such over propaganda for them.
>>219399707> nostalgiaslopNew Mario games still come out and kids still play them.
>>219398418When you kill yourself.
>>219399753Video games sold by the company that made the movie? It's almost like you are paying to see an ad in theaters.
>>219399791Unfortunately I believe that yes, you will have to kill yourself first
>>219399800So when they adopted Dracula for theaters it was to sell Brom Strokers novels?
You guys complain a lot
>>219399707It’s a fucking movie about a Mario and his friend going to space to save Rosalina. It’s not telling my kids to chop their dicks off, or marry immigrants. They didn’t make Luigi black.It’s not insulting while staying faithful to the source material. Just because it’s not fucking Lion King doesn’t mean it’s not enjoyable. There’s way worse shit out there for kids than the Mario Galaxy movie.
>>219399860If Dracula was people pointing and shouting, "Look at that iconic character from Dracula," I would say yes.
>>219399954That’s is not what Mario Galaxy is. You disingenuous faggot.
>>219399895
>>219399895Hilarious that you think trannies have more power over you than billion dollar corporations.
If they do do a Metroid movie, what are the odds they'd have Captain Falcon as a cameo?
>>219399985Corporations are ok if they sell me a product I enjoy while not supporting my ethnic replacement. Not everyone wants to live like Ted Kazanksy and go live in the woods.
>>219399437>>219399508It should have a plot because it's a fucking movie not a video game. If I wanted to watch mario jump and run around without any cohesive plot or character development I'd play the fucking game.
>>219400158A japanese company pushing italian men and blonde women is fine cause you are one of those things?
>>219400817Video games have more plot than this movie though. Mario 3 is a pretty clear why mario goes to each kingdom to transform the kings. Mario 64 there's magic that locks out mario from advancing so he needs stars. This movie? Mario just decides to go see the bee people and abandon the mushroom kingdom, just cause, goes to this hub world just cause, runs into peach just in time (bad editing) and she's happy, everyone is happy, fox thinks mario is cool they all get along and know where to go and find instantly.
>>219400935True. Mario RPG and Paper Mario shit all over this garbage movie. They didn't even try. There's no excuse.
>>219391842People enjoy watching/consuming stuff and then talking about it. Some get lucky enough to get paid for it. It's not that deep. Sorry your favorite flick got panned by critics.
>>219373338Just another case of learning the wrong lesson from unearned success. More slop like this is coming.
>>219401040The first movie ends in NY, why are Mario and Luigi even in the mushroom kingdom to begin with? To find yoshi...? It's so dumb.
>>219401077>Just another case of learning the wrong lesson from unearned successWhag do you mean?
>>219380413Being for children makes it worse that it's such a mess, our kids should get better
>>219386910indescribably based
>>219399973It's very thinly veiled so yes, but I guess even that is too much obfuscation for your retard nigger eyes, stupid.now kys
>game is based on a chubby plumber being the unlikely hero as he overcomes adversity to rescue the woman he loves>ackshually the woman he loves is a girlboss who can do anything mario can do or better, so the whole movie is pointless
