What went wrong ?
>>219403135the woman was a whore
>>219403135Bogged Kidman was incredibly distracting
>>219403135Viking fatigue
>>219403202This. Fucking hell it was grim.
>>219403135Things went south
Why was he called the northman? Aren't they all in the north? That's like a movie of all black men but only one of them is called nigger.
>>219404469he's north of us. we, the viewers, are the southmen
>>219403135I watched this yesterday and it sucked. How'd it get a 90% RT score?
>>219403135It was boring. Not because it lacked muh epic action scenes, but because it was visually drab. After the striking imagery of the Lighthouse, I expected more from the Eggman.
>>219404640It is incredibly overrated. I think it must be because people were so accustomed to capeshit that they thought more grounded movies are amazing.Same thing happened to Mad Max: Furt Road, although that is much better than Northman.
>>219406711*Fury Road
>>219403135Nothing. People hated it because People Have 0 Taste, which is why they prefer the POS that is The Lighthouse.
Not enough dafoe and anya's tatas. I like the valkyrie scene.
>>219406711Fury Road is amazing though.
>>219403135Ethan Hawke
no full frontal, medieval bush-pilled nude of Anya
It was boring. Also why was that kid farting?
>>219403135not enough sharting and farting in cave
No bright orange pubes anywhere to be seen.
>>219407505I couldn't take the movie seriously after that happened. Like it was goofy enough they were on all fours pretending to be dogs, was the fart REALLY necessary?
>>219403135Nothing, it's a pretty good movie.
itt indians posting at indian times
>>219403135It's boring slop. Conan The Barbarian is better.
>>219406711>I think it must be because people were so accustomed to capeshit that they thought more grounded movies are amazing.Joker fits this as well. It wasn't a great movie at all but people really wanted to make you believe it was something special.
>>219403202This. It was awful.
>>219403135Great movie, but lopsided acts - the third act is really too long, the first too short, and the volcano finale kinda reminds me of star wars RotS. Overall less than the sum of it's parts.
>>219403202She is very bogged. Undoubtedly. But, I had a teacher in highschool. Middle-aged blonde woman, I forget her name. But, it was very nordic. And she had pretty much that exact face. Very square head. So, for me. Verisimilitude. Because, yeah. They do look like that. And, overall. Great flick.
no blacksno watch
>>219403135His slave charade takes up too much of the run time, but it's great besides that
I want a valkyrie profile movie, now!
>>219403135that charisma vacuum is the reason why northman flopped
Hollywood slop, skarsgård fatigue also a large factor.Also that alien looking spic playing as a Scandinavian women, she didn't fit the profile.People don't want to see the same actors over and over again, it's shit.
the only reason why this film was a success is because of chud brained morons thinking that this film was some neo nazi revolution against da kikes and women and joos. i remember a tweet going around showing some bapniggers eating raw meat in the theatre like a bunch of niggers. terrible film
>>219403135nothing and you're brown btw
>>219408402Is he there purely because his brother is the titular character or are the invites to these things quite broad? So even had Bill not be Orlok, he would have gotten invited as a past collaborator of Eggers?
The bowl cut and farm arc. It was kino before that
I’m gonna say it. I think the Northman is great. I’ve probably seen it around 5 times now because I keep showing it to people. I’ve got it on 4K disc and it looks and sounds incredible.
>>219403135I didn't dislike the movie but the movie drags pretty hard in the middle and even till alot of the end, it's visually drab, the dialogue and story is honestly not capturing, and most importantly the MC is made to look like a cool epic warrior guy and then sorta get pushed around for the rest of the movie and then trades with the old guy at the end of the movie. The biggest cardinal sin of a movie like this is advertising a cool epic warrior guy and then making him a jobber/bitch for the rest of the movie
>>219404469Because he’s Eric Northman.
>>219403135All the advertisements featured some annoying looking girl with braces.
>>219403135You mean what went right
>>219410096Making roman salutes in the theater watching hollywod slop.Pretty ironic.
>>219403135It attracted the Vikings TV crowd, and they thought it would be a two hour long battle scene filled with out of place random characters having sex, turns out it's a a kino Shakespearian epic that went over their heads
It should have been in Old Norse. Just like Nosferatu should have been in German. A director that so obviously strives for authenticity in so many other ways but then the characters are just talking in bog standard 21st century English seriously undermines the film. And before you say it's not commercially viable consider:>Apocalypto>Passion of the Christ (highest grossing R-rated movie of all time until Joker and it's in ancient fucking Aramaic)>The VVitch
>>219408679She was a Slavic woman though
Nothing.You are brown OP
>>219410096These morons are going to get food poisoning.
>>219409988It needed more braces valkyrie and witch bjork.
>>219407505>>219407643fairly acurate, the scandinavians are truly disgusting and loathsome people, i tried reading their mythology to broaden my horizons and its pretty clear it was invented by dirty mongrels, like they thought bards got their talent when loki drank mead then turned into a bird and shit in some guys mouth thus sweetening voice
>>219403135this and nosferatu felt incredibly soulless
I saw this in the theater and after Dafoe whipped out his huge hog and the farting scene there was a mass exodus of the audience. I've never seen so many people walk out
>>219403135hack director
>>219403135The scope was far lower and more subdued than I had envisioned. I imagined a grand and epic quest of viking revenge with a man driven to get the throne back from his usurping uncle but the protagonist literally has to be reminded of the revenge he swore to take and when he goes to take it his enemy is not even a king anymore, just some farmer. And he doesn't have to do much to get to him. He just rocks up, becomes the lowly farmer's servant and starts knocking off his small coterie. It's not the movie's fault, I guess, more my expectations but it's just very low key and not that engrossing a quest. I might appreciate it more on a second viewing without high expectations but I just haven't been compelled enough to go back. I just thought it was okay and ultimately disposable. Even now I'm trying to think of memorable moments and aside from small flashes of scenes the most memorable thing is the opening knock off of Conan and his mother's revelation to him.
>>219403135>le vikings>my ancestors, natsoc heroes, based based basedit's all so tiresomestop glorifying white niggers
>>219403135They didn't show the part where the whole warband gangrapes a female servant, tie her up to a ship and burn her with the corpse of the honored warleader.
>>219415218Better than eating glyphosate that you eat every day and your body can't get rid of, it just accumulates and desiccates your connective tissue. Enjoy your crippling arthritis by the time you're 40. Enjoy not being able to go down stairs at 45. Enjoy not being able to bend your knees or elbows at all at 50.
>>219416613Average retard and his based false dichotomy
>>219403202Yeah, she was distracting and not the literal alien
>>219415606This. The trailer made me believe the MC was going to build up his own berserker entourage and go on a warpath against his uncle but he ends up leaving his crew and becoming a slave.
>>219403135I love when my movie starts with the protagonist participating in trapping dozens of helpless and innocent white women and children in a barn and then burning it down to kill them all in the most painful way imaginable. Really makes me sympathetic towards the hero and root for him throughout the rest of the movie.
I watch for him
I wanted viking adventures with the viking bros, settling down and LARPing as a slave for the rest of the movie was boring as hell.
