>That's it anon, I'm taking you off the case
>>219426441You're way too close to this thing!
You can’t take me off the case, I quit!
>The mayor is going to have my balls for the shit you just pulled
I rewatched Die Hard 2 on the weekend and I chuckled when that airport chief guy says he's got the mayor on his ass for the Drama McClane caused
>>219426620YOU'RE OUTTA CONTROL. BADGE AND GUN- NOW.
Listen rookie, I don't know what chicken-shit outfit you came from but in this place we do things by the book
>you've been a double agent this whole time! give me your badge and gun>...and your other badge
>>219426441>who is this dick wolf? he seems to be running everything
>>219426441I usually get kissed before I get fucked.
>he was just an ORDINARY COP, but after he was FRAMED for a crime he DIDN'T COMMIT, he had to GO ROGUE
>>219426441>THE MAYOR IS ON MY ASS, ANON!
>You're off the force, hand in your badge and gun and other gun
>>219426441why? because I'm black! is that what this is all about? tsk know what, shieeeet, I QUIT!
> You're too late chief, I already used my other gun.
>>219426441>THAT LITTLE STUNT YOU PULLED HAS THE MAYOR SO FAR UP MY ASS YOU'D THINK WE WERE MORE THAN FRIENDS. BADGE AND GUN, GO TO HAWAII YOU MISERABLE FUCK.
>>219427119>the mayor is so far up my ass he's brushing my teeth
Sarge, you can take this job, and you can shovel it like the Goys and then get shot by your neighbor you antagonize for months
>”anon, I need you to interview those three Latina whores in the lobby”>you got it chief>”and for once, anon, try and keep it in your pants”>sure thing chief, sure thing… *winks*
>I know what you're thinking. 'Did he give me two gun or only one?' Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being one of them would have been a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, chief?
>The mayor is on my ass anon!>*holds up underwear with "The Mayor" imprinted on it* I have a pair too Chief.
>>219426441>I did not violate the drug dealers' civil rights, it's not true! It's bullshit! I did not violate them! [throws empty whiskey bottle]; I did *not*. Oh hi, Chief.
So I skimmed a little off the top. I took it from drug dealahs, pimps, scumbags. Those people are thieves themselves. But you suits and pencil pushas gonna call me in heeya, crucify ME, when all this shit's goin on out theya?
>>219427551>Anon, don't get too deep undercover. This latina whores will have you compromised in no time. Yea at first it's some friendly flirting and maybe some touching, but next thing you know youre on the floor kissing their feet. Keep this one by the book anon.
>ANON! you're back on the case! >here is your badge and your gun...AND YOUR OTHER GUN!
>>219426441why is the sergeant always an illiterate black dude that shouts a lot
>>219426441You're off your case chief
>no facebook>no instagram>no linkedin>Jesus Christ this guy's a ghost
Who /loosecannon/ here?
>>219427891>What was that chief? You want me to go under covers?
>>219428298>no, you're too bogged. they'd recognize you right away
>>219428332>Chief, what if I disguise myself as a woman?
>>219428275You may be unorthodox and at times, downright dangerous, but goddammit you get results Anon
>>219428275fuck you. I'm going by the books. I'm retiring next week goddamn it
>>219428275That's not funny Anon, my uncle was a pirate and he got crushed by a loose cannon during a storm
>>219426441Is there any film where the MC is the chief? And not in a red Indian way.
>Chief, we searched anon’s apartment. Strange place. Full of pictures of Japanese women and models of anime girls. No pictures of family. No signs of a girlfriend. The bedroom was just a single mattress on the floor. What does this mean?
>>219427965I watched 48 hours a few days ago and it was like that. Funny seeing a black man call another a nigger that's always kino in my book.
>>219428791Cheif just put us together. I'm a young rookie with a chip on my shoulder and a point to prove
>>219426441Oh really? Well, it'd be a shame if I just so happened to accidentally solve the case while being off of it. And it would be really embarrassing if the entire city was praising me as a hero and the press interviewed you about your hiring of me and you had to bite your tongue and pretend that you've always supported me.And it'd really suck if I then used this info to blackmail you in the future haha. Now remind me, am I, John Main-character, really off this case? Or was that a silly joke?
>>219426998>well sure, those dirty cops framed me for a crime I didn't commit and commit all sorts of terrible offenses trying to capture me. But there's no reason whatsoever to reinvestigate any of the multitudes of people they've arrested throughout their careers. They wouldn't have arrested the perps if they weren't guilty afterall
>>219426834>AND YOUR OTHER BADGE
>We found the suspects car and it's as if the passenger seats have never been used. It's a 10 year old car, sir
>>219429268>T-that’s impossible. Get the suspect’s girlfriend in here and ask her how often the suspect has passengers in the car
>>219429355>Chief, you're not gonna believe this... but there are no traces of the suspect ever having a girlfriend. I will check his social networks.
>Anon this the third car this week!
They killed my partner, chief. They made it personal. So you can take my gun and my stoopid fuckin badge, but this isn't over.
>sir he hasn't posted a Facebook status in over 6 years >my God......... has he at least updated his profile pic?>................................
>>219426834>which gun, chief?
>>219426441>Yeah? We'll I'm taking off my pants.
>>219430464>sir... he doesn't even have one>and the account is private!
>>219427119>AND MY OTHER ASS
>If you fuck this case up anon I'll have you writing parking tickets in Siberia for the rest of your career
>>219426441
the nigger will get away with it once again, tongueing my anus and what not
>I've been getting reports that someone in the thread is a double agent. They have been leaking screenshots to reddit
>YOU CRAZY MAN. YOU OFF MAMMOTH HUNT>GIVE UNGA CLUB AND TUNIC>AND OTHER CLUB
>We'll be handling this investigation now. You can go back to handing out parking tickets.
>>219432792>Come off of it, we know you guys are compromised
name 5 (five) movies with this trope
>>219428971You’re telling me this son of a bitch has no close friends or family, no girlfriend, no social media accounts, no history of employment, not even a drivers license?!?
>listen, kid>you're a GOOD cop>but you're going all over town sticking your nose where it DON'T belong>i get it. i used to be like you>bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, ready to make a DIFFERENCE >but that ain't how this city works....not anymore....>i've got guys that are VERY serious coming up to me asking why YOU are asking questions all over town>do yourself a favor..>take some of that vacation time you've got stocked up>go to Maui>get outta here for a few weeks. >you're getting too hot with the locals
>>219433057Clearly living a double-life, there is NO WAY any person could actually be that much of a loser. Motherfucker is good, I'll give him that much.
>>219433046>Hard Boiled>Last Action Hero
>>219433046The Naked Gun (2025)
>>219433046lethal weapon 1-4
>>219433046Jackie Chan's First Strike
Bros I just got out of two weeks in county jail. The bitch cleaned me out and took all three kids across the country. She was going to leave me there for 3 months. A guy I met on a /pol/ IRC 13 years ago looked me up because my phone stopped ringing and bailed me out. My boss gave me money for a new phone and clothes and my coworker brought me to get a new ID and bank account. The maintenance guys said they were begging to come bail me out themselves but they wouldn't say if I still had a job until I had a meetingI'm gonna hit my 401k for a car and be back on top by this weekend. Fuck her. I got $175 on my commissary last weekand sprung out of county by a miracle in spite of her trying to ruin me. Same guy who bailed me out is buying me a hotel room tonight. God bless this website and I love you all.
>>219433826and then everyone clapped
>>219427769Something you'd hear in The Naked Gun
>>219433826>A guy I met on a /pol/ IRC 13 years ago looked me up because my phone stopped ringingWut? You hooked up with someone on /pol/, like it's a dating service? And he's been ringing you every day for 13 years?
>No job, no girlfriend, and no instagram, this dude is a ghost, chief.
>>219433826u wot
>this is the last name ill do u a favor....remember u dont work here no more oldtimer
>The dame had seen better years. Mom jeans, Sketchers. Her gunt went on for days. I mean, I still would. Be she was beat. Had some sob story about her son. Kid stopped depositing his weekly email transfer from her a month ago. He wouldn't answer the door to his place, phone was off. Turns out the "kid" was 32. She pleaded with me to help her. Local yokels didn't want to touch it, all of them had their guns and badges revoked last week anyway. Wasn't too hard to crack the case. I let myself into his apartment and was hit the face with a hot wall of stench. Figured I stumbled into the abode of a serial killer. A quick search showed me he only serial-killed bags of Doritos and bottles of Mountain Dew. I couldn't tell where the Mountain Dew ended and the pisses bottles started. I found him on the toilet, slumped over. He looked like a giant dollop of mashed potatos. Probably 300lbs and dead of malnutrition. There wasn't enough liquor in the world to erase this memory.
ON THIS FORCE WE DO THINGS BY THE BOOK
R A G SAGSO F F FF
Well, well, well, If it isn't the local boys. Stand aside fellas. We'll take it from here.
>>219427770Kek
>>219438579Bullshit. This is OUR jurisdiction.
>>219444427Take it up with the Director, gumshoe.
>>219426688kek, I also watch kino and occasionally think of my frens on /tv/
>>219427551AYE CARUMBA
>>219426998Fun fact that’s the entire intro to Renegade + Sfx of a gunshot, an eagle scream and a motorcycle revving
>>219438579You'll never get away with this Sam and Dean!
