OPEN THE FUCKIN' GATE, YOU ORCISH BASTARDS, OR YOU'LL BE LIVING IN HELL
Praise be to Sauron!
Then who is Frodo?
>>219463928bibi
GOOD DAY, MY HOSTSMY NAME IS ARAGORNAND I'VE SOME LOVELY THINGS FROM MARY KAY TO SHOW YOUMIGHT THE ORCESS OF THE HOUSE BE IN?
>Just met Denethor the STEWARD (will never be king!) of Gondor. What a LOSER! He can't even keep a single tree alive. Gondor deserves a real, magnificent ruler such as MYSELF. I will call Sauron this evening on the Palantir and offer him a deal. He's a reasonable guy and we have a lot in common. Don't believe Feckless Faramir saying Sauron wants us all dead
>Sauron is a gay man in a full body cast with just his ass sticking out
>>219463712Pretty based. Aregorn is a great guy and the true heir to the throne. Those orcs really are demonic monsters and don't deserve to be compromised with. I wonder if this is an allegory for something else...
>>219464163epic ngl
was Gandalf a tactical nuke?
>A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again!
>>219464163>Tuesday will be Tower Day and Ring Day all wrapped in one, in Mordor. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fucking Black Gate, you crazy bastard, or you'll be living in the void--JUST WATCHPraise be to Melkor
>>219463712>YOU BROUGHT HUMANS?>HERE?
OPEN THE FUCKING GATE YOU CRAZY BASTARDS
>Gondor calls for aid!>Wait... they said they don't really need the gate open, and if WE do then that's our problem>Now they're calling us cowards or something
>>219465343KinoWe're finally being able experience life under a hero
>>219463712>>219463754>>219466535its yurocuckolds and asians who suffer from it being closed, this is like if the humans were fine and the dwarves were going into an energy crisis lol
>>219466535Gate?
Can someone explain how much time has passed between the end of the battle of Pelinor fields and Aragorn leaving with the surviving army to go to the BLACKED gate?Stuff is still on fire, where are the bodies of the tens / hundreds of thousands of orcs that were slaughtered by the ghost army? Where are the bodies of the dozens or more trolls? Where is the wreckage of GROND? Where are the bodies of the Oliphaunts? I mean just one single Oliphaunt alone, imagine how long it would take to clear it from the battlefield. They would need to slice off all of the meat and muscle and guts into small pieces that could be carted away to... somewhere. Either way there would be loads of disease and pestilence from all of the blood, organs and decaying / rotting flesh all over the place. Imagine just hauling away a single bone from am Oliphaunt, probably not possible with the equipment available in middle Earth. They would need to pulverize the bone just to make it into smaller pieces to be carted away somewhere.
>>219466968I think Gandalf vaporized it all with a level 20 acid spray spell.
>Our useless "allies" in Rohan got beat by Saruman again! It's high time these "rodeo clowns" started carrying their weight! We've been protecting them for too long! Rohan MUST pay if they want our arms!
>>219467011then planted a blueberry orchard atop it
> Gimli looked disgusting--nipples protruding--in his chainmail before the council of Elrond. Very very disrespectful.
>>219463712was it orc genocide?
Man, come on. I've had a rough night and I hate the FUCKING eagles.
>>2194637122 more hours
>>219466728we all suffer because your president is being blackmailed by israel
Orc Leader Sauron just stated that “A Ring of Power is on his desk at all times” Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform Eye Socket Man that I too have a Ring of Power, but it is much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Ring works!
Any good streams fot tonight bros?
>>219466728dumb as a bag of hammers
>I DO NOT WANT FREE HEALTHCARE. I HAVE NEVER WANTED IT.
>>219468876Lookner's is always nice
>>219466968It's magicJackson doesn't have to explain shit
>Healthy young Kings goes to Sauron, gets swayed by massive amounts of golden rings, doesn’t feel good and changes - NAZGÛL.Many such cases!
Who is the Jeffrey Epstein of Middle Earth?
>work as a navigator on oil tankers at sea>take a break for a year and neet (can cause I make a lot of money)>do some soul searching and realize I want to to a job that sort of has an impact on the world and history, rather than just running back and forth between Florida and Texas every week>come back, sign a three year contract with the navy>few days later we are officially at war with Iran>find out I am likely going to be sailing the Strait of Hormuz Guess I got what I deserved
>WILL THE LAIRD OF THE BLEK LEHND CEM FEHRTHwtf
I’m getting so tired of winning, bros.
if he does iti'm going to be a millionaire but also die of lung cancer in 20 years
>>2194669683 days. Everyone worked pretty hard
Sadly, because Isildur has done such a poor job as king, you won’t see another Númenórean king of Gondor for generations!
>>219463712>LET THA LARD O THE BLARK LARDS COME FARTH! LET JUSTICE BE DONE UPON HEM!
He's gonna do it, isn't he? He's gonna start a nuclear holocaust and throw us back into the Middle Ages over being a sore loser...Fuck. Why didn't I learn Mandarin instead of Spanish?
>The world economy has one weakness. Its outer wall is solid rock, but for a small hole in its base. Which is little more than a drain.>How? How can black sludge undo money? What kind of liquid could bring down the econo-
>Killing Eagles by the millions!
>The White City on Tuesday denied that the Aragorn administration is considering the use of Eagles in Mordor, after Vice President Denethor had implied it might do so
>>219463712>>219464163>>219466033>>219468448This fucking thread
>>219469054Watching him too. Gonna be a looong night
>Funny how lowly rated Faramir, and others, can criticize me at will, even blaming me for the current siege and ridiculously comparing this to the Battle of Dagorlad
Sorry folks, I'm just not a fan of ents - and don't worry, they will be around long after we are gone.
>>219470692Ofc not. Trump is a businessman not an ideologue.
>>219464163Thats close, but you're missing his repetitive cadance
WOULD YOU CLOSE THE FUCKING GATES
>>219469221Tolkien usually avoided anything regarding sex.But either it's Maeglin(because he attempted to rape his cousin Idril, and kill her kid) or Gollum (because he eats babies)
>>219468923>FREE
>>219463712>ragebaits Sauron by calling him "Lard" instead of lord>it worksWhy was Sauron such a sensitive little bitch?
>>219463712>A whole civilization will die tonight!
>>219466968They ate them. You always ask what do they eat, here is your answer.
>you who else know else didn't help us? rohan. we have 2000 troops in osgiliath protecting the anduin from gothmog, who i get on very well with as you know. he said very nice things about me, you know he used to call theoden man-filth
>>219463712https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JScatSxN_w
>>219468707>It's too late, it's over, they've taken it. Sam! The took the Ring>Ah fuck it dude, let's go bowling
>healthy young Frodo goes to Cirith Ungol, gets pumped with massive venom, doesn't feel good and changes - PARALYZED. Many such cases!
>Even the little baby orcs? In their little orc schools?
>>219466968corpses usually sink into the ground and disappear after a while, haven't you played a single rts game?
>>219463712Trump is a Jewish puppet
>We were not respected with Sam. They looked at him falling down stairs every day – every day, the guy’s falling down stairs – and I said, that’s not our Gardener. We can’t have it. I’m very careful, you know, when I walk down stairs, I walk…very…slowly. Nobody has to set a record. Just, try not to fall, ‘cause it doesn’t work out well. A few of our Fellowship have fallen, and it became a part of their legacy, you know. Walk nice and easy. You don’t have to set any records. Be cool! Be cool when you walk down, but don’t…don’t bop down the stairs. The one thing with Boromir…I had zero respect for him, but he would bop down those stairs, I’ve never seen…da-da-da-da-teh-deh-bop-bop…I’ve never seen…he would go down those stairs, bop-bop, he wouldn’t hold on, he’d go down those stairs, I said, it’s great! I wouldn’t want to do it. I guess I could do it, but eventually, bad things are gonna happen, and it only takes one.
>>219469252>I want to to a job that sort of has an impact on the world and history>join the navyWhat kind of impact were you hoping to make?
>>219463712>be Agriculturegorn>performs ZERO feats of agriculturehuh?? I thought names were really important in LotR
>>219470692He already taco'd and hit the 2 more weeks
>>219469135Made me smile gj fren
>>219469252Thank you for your service.
>>219463712Isengard and Saruman dragged Gondor into the war, admits prince Imrahil.
>>219469252>want to have an impact on history (through naval combat)>WAIT NOT LIKE THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING, I JUST WANTED TO THEORETICALLY HAVE AN IMPACT ON HISTORY
>>219466728Yurotards are so genuinely pathetic. It's crazy how this situation has revealed their true form. Sad, mudslime filled shithole countries
>>219463712Orcs vote against their own economic interests
>>219463712Taco status?
>Lothlorien's lembas bakers are not happy with me--that's okay, I'll still keep eating that garbage.
>>219474512Why won't you just stop raping children though
I have never seen a thin person drinking cordial of Imladris. *drinks cordial of Imladris*
>>219465327Have you just never watched or read LOTR? That's the furthest thing you could call gandalf in this analogy.
>>219475730Tuesday
>>219466968Everyone that knows you hates you.
>>219468448Kek
>>219466968and the animals can talk too
>>219466728Israel is pleased. Keep up the good work!
>>219475730TACOED
>>219468657yes and also it was a good thing
There's no way this ceasefire is genuine, but if it is this is the greatest humiliation of america in history
How does America keep getting BTFO'd so hard by third world countries that don't even have water?
>>219478005Why would a ceasefire be bad?
>>219478085>I WILL DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE CIVILIZATION TONIGHT!>UNLESS...please...please...take this ceasefire, I beg you...
>>219478118Trump didn't offer the ceasefire, he accepted one in return for their reopening of the strait.
>>219478050What Ayatollah you up to now? 5th? 6th? lmao
>>219478270He offered it, now he is pretending once again that he is getting something in return
>>219478303As far as I'm aware it's the supposedly gay, supposedly brain damaged son of the last one.
>>219478348Oh, okay. I don't have insider knowledge or schizophrenia so I wouldn't know.
>>219478118It's all part of the plan, libtard. He's playing four-dementia chess.
>>219464163>he says he's called gandalf the white, more like gandalf the fool. He couldnt even handle one little balrog.>he comes over to beauriful trump tower (orthanc) and asks for my advise, staff protruding, very disrespectful>he's a complete slob and doesnt deserve to be a maiar like myself, not even close to my level
>>219478005check oil pricesit's actually over this time. captain miga quit
>>219478303No single voice carry the whole weight. From the day we are trained, we learn the mission, the intent, the reason behind every orders. If a commander fall, the next one doesn’t hesitate because he already know what must be done. And if he fall, another step forward the same way.
Praise be to Melkor, Sauron, Mordor forgive us.
>>219478536lol communist bugman
>You know, we have 45000 Uruk-Hai in the Westfold to protect us from Rohan...you know, Theoden said very nice things about me, he used to call Gandalf a Láthspell, okay… he was so nasty to Gandalf, it was terrible. But to me, he likes Saruman.
>>219469252>work as a navigator on oil tankers at seaHow do I do this asap? I've worked on ships before.
Do you condemn Mordor? Does Gondor have the right to exist?
>>219479047You can't just pick it up, you have to live in rectangular antigravity tanks filled with high concentrations of oil for a long time.
>>219463712LOTR dubs are the best, /tv can't compete...
>>219466968Americans are too dumb to notice this
>>219466033Kek
>>219480358In the books a wizard melts the corpses into the ground to nourish the soil and avoid vermin infestation and pestilence.
