After watching you guys discuss it for years, I finally got around to watching this piece of shit. I knew it was going to be dumb, but holy shit did you guys gloss over a lot of idiocy. Now to give credit where credit is due, it’s a visual masterpiece, the cast is decent, and the music’s good, if wholly inappropriate. Every time that hopeful, uplifting refrain played, it only made me miss the original’s pensive, minimalistic orchestration. And without further ado, here we go:>Engineers seeding Earth with life … with greenery already growing in the background>Engineers have been using the same black goo and tech for hundreds of millions, if not billions of years>Shaw and Holloway find the “star map.” Fine. But instead of just jumping on the “Ancient Aliens” bandwagon, they skip right on to panspermia without one single shred of evidence. >David, the super-smart android, either doesn’t know what “casualties” mean, or is somehow unaware of the risks of hibernation>Vickers specifically pulls Shaw and Holloway aside to tell them not to try to engage or communicate with the Engineers instead of just briefing the entire crew. I guess they’re the only two with any curiosity. Or agency. >With a trillion-dollar budget, the only geologist they can find is a misanthropic dipshit who doesn’t even have the sense to have his “pups” feeding their mapping back to their space suits instead of just to the ship. >His drone tech is lightyears beyond anything we’ve ever seen in any Alien film, yet it’s in a prequel set more than a century before the original>An archeologist takes his space helmet off because the “air is clean,” as if the possibility of *them* contaminating the site never occurs to him.>Just a couple of hundred feet away, the atmosphere is deadly, and he has no way of knowing if they’re just in some dirt of small “oxygen pocket.”>All the other “scientists” take their helmets off, too.
>>219489482>Not five minutes later, they speak aloud the precise reason they need their helmets - “We don’t know what’s behind that door.” Precisely, dipshits, including toxic atmosphere. >Barely a minute later, yet another reason to not take off their helmets is stated: “WE’VE CONTAMINATED THIS CHAMBER. OH NO!”>Holloway, a scientist on an alien planet, sees a fucking parasite crawling in his eye, tells no one. Maybe he thought he could just walk it off. >”Hur hurrr guess you can stop wearing your dead father’s crucifix now!” What kind of an asshole would say something like this? Why would anyone choose to be with them?>Vickers: “Are they all dead?” Their fucking team “explored” like three rooms in a massive structure for less than twenty minutes. How the fuck would Shaw know if they were all dead? Come to think of it, the “pups” can detect lifeforms and have mapped way more of the structure than the humans have yet seen, so why the fuck is she even asking?>Petting the Space Cobra. >Petting the CLEARLY AGGRESSIVE SPACE COBRA. >Shaw, a paleontologist/archeologist, knows how to reanimate a 2000yo Engineer head with a meat thermometer, not the doctor standing across from her. >Holloway, knowing he’s infected with *something*, continues to say jack shit about it, goes back out to the site with them, presumably thinking some “fresh air” will take care of it.
wow what a bold new take
Not reading all that, midwit.
Sounds like nitpicking.
PROMETHEUS SCHOOL OF RUNNING AWAY FROM THINGS
>>219490387>The ship for their “trillion-dollar” expedition to an alien world to investigate humanity’s origins and the origins of life … has no quarantine bay. >In the future, we will have interstellar travel, cryogenic hibernation, utterly lifelike androids, anti-gravity mapper drones with life-detecting scanners, and terraforming technology, but our robot doctors will need to “calibrated” for male or female instead of just scanning and calibrating on their own. >It is highly recommended to self-medicate immediately before getting a c-section from your uncalibrated robot doc. Zero chance of overdose there. >If you put on a wetsuit after a c-section, you’ll have no problem getting tossed around by a giant, pissed off alien, leaping gaps, rappelling, sprinting away from spaceships, etc. Wetsuits basically turn post-op women into Laura Croft. >If you look at it from the back on your patented Stark-tech holodisplay, it’s just some weird underground horseshoe, but wait! Spin it around and … aha! Clearly a spaceship. >Engineer ships can fall hundreds of feet out of the sky and roll like donuts without losing structural integrity, but one spindly caveman ship will still take them out. >In space, no one can run laterally.>Shaw, who also can’t run laterally, being in space and all, finds the only rocky outcrop in existence capable of supporting hundreds of tons of alien spaceship. And because this can’t possibly be stressed enough:>THE CLEARLY AGGRESSIVE SPACE COBRA IN WHAT ANY FUCKING BIOLOGIST WOULD RECOGNIZE AS A DEFENSIVE POSTURE. LET’S FUCKING PET IT. Did I miss any?
With regard to the technological disparity; would you expect a mining ship crew or army dingdongs to have cutting edge stuff? Richdude has spared no expense for his personal mission.
>>219490896I’d expect space marines to. And on top of that, 130 years ago from now, I’d expect the wealthy elite to have a lot of things the “peasants” don’t have, but I wouldn’t expect them to have computers and flatscreens. I’m not just talking about “nicer” things; I’m talking about technologies that have never even been hinted at in the “later” movies. By the way, those “pups” of the geologist’s are far and away the craziest thing we see, and to him, they’re “his,” like he’s used to them, like they’re old hat. Maybe he’s just the world’s richest, most elite asshole geologist signing up for a mystery mission just to make a buck. >spared no expenseExcept for that quarantine bay.
Something else that I’ve always heard debated: “Is Vickers an android?” I’m going to answer that question with a question: Do androids sweat?
>>219489482>it’s a visual masterpiece, the cast is decent, and the music’s goodIt's good enough for this. They weren't trying to write a smart story, which obviously shows. They wanted to make a big epic looking sci fi flick with some "big ideas" thrown in. 7/10
>>219489482I agree. The visuals are glorious, the writing not so good.
>>219490771> but our robot doctors will need to “calibrated” for male or female instead of just scanning and calibrating on their ownYes? How is it supposed to know my gender and pronouns without asking me first?
>>219489482I'm not going to read the posts but i just had a look for this one thing to check and >With a trillion-dollar budget, the only geologist they can find is a misanthropic dipshit yep, you didn't even notice the very basic fact that vickers hired inept scientists to ensure the expedition did not find eternal life for wayland. she says at the start 'those of you i hired personally,' (and i hope you at least managed to pick up from her ranting at wayland that she wanted the mission to fail). So you didn't qualify to assess the movie, submission rejected
>>219490545I'll read it for you - I need reminders how Ridley shit over his franchise without O'Bannon to reel him in.
>>219490771>>THE CLEARLY AGGRESSIVE SPACE COBRA IN WHAT ANY FUCKING BIOLOGIST WOULD RECOGNIZE AS A DEFENSIVE POSTURE. LET’S FUCKING PET IT.Biologists in real life are like this.Btw you spent too much time reading Tv Tropes.
>>219492831>Biologists in real life are like this.
>>219492739>Let me get on a ship crewed by the inelt retards I hired because of my daddy issues. What coukd possibly go wrong?Galaxy-brain move right there.
>>219492739You know what’s a far, far easier way to stop him from finding immortality? By sabotaging the sleeping centenarian’s hibernation pod at any point during the four-year trip. Maybe that’s not Rube Goldberg enough for a Lindelof script, though.
>>219493139>protected by a robot
>>219489482>trip takes four years on the most cutting edge ship money can buy>”life pod” has two years worth of supplies.
>>219493139Androids have maintenance routines and charging cycles.
>>219493183>you are meant to be in stasis during the trip; not needing supplies
>>219493369That life pod ain’t taking any trips. It’s crashed on an alien planet.
>>219493691They are meant to be jettisoned in space. The captain literally said you can die on the ship with them or take your chances. Stay off the phone, anon.
>>219493770Let me ask you - you, personally. You spend a trillion dollars to fund an expedition, to purpose-build a ship whose sole purpose is to set down on an alien, possibly (likely) hostile planet. You know it takes 4 years to get there. How many years worth of supplies do you put on your lifepod to account for as many contingencies as you can? Remember - money is no object, and you’re a man so selfish that you’ll bring along a robot doctor intended for no one but yourself. And you want to live forever.
>>219493957huh? no that's not the situation it's this (did you watch the movie?) - you're 100 years old and you officially have 30 minutes of life left so you freeze yourself to be awoken at the moment when a project that you've commissioned is complete to get you to the exact place where they will grant you immortality. If there's some hitch along the way or they don't find the thing, your 30 minutes of remaining life means any plan b is neither here nor there. plan a is already a hail mary
>>219494117OK, I’ll grant you that. Take my original question and apply it to Vickers. And remember - she has allegedly stacked the crew deep with retards intentionally, so she has every reason to believe shit’s gonna go sideways.
>>219492955>>219494168No we just went over this in the other thread, she only hired clueless scientists, not a clueless crew. the crew is top tier. the idea is safely get to the planet, wander around finding nothing because the 'eyes' for the right clues aren't there, go home.I'm not sure what you're asking about the medpod. Its for weyland and I think David put it on the flight not vickers btwVickers didn't put one for her the same reason you don't bring a doctor with you to go on a plane trip to egypt
>>219490771You forgot>First human mission to an exoplanet, on a program which costed more than the 2008 bailout. They arrive on the planet, take a look at it VISUALLY, through the windshield, don't immediately see signs of civilisations and decide to pack it up and go back.>They don't send satellites to scan the surface in orbit>They don't search for traces of even bacterial life, which by itself would be one of the greatest discoveries in history>They don't think that they could just land on the surface just to be the first humans to walk the face of an exoplanet and maybe bring space rock and shit>No, instead they are immediately ready to pack up and go backThe part that kills me is how dumb this all is. You could have had the same zero effort plot, but with characters who behave the way they should: highly competent astronauts on an extremely ambitious mission with a secret objective.Instead we get a group of people who are even less able to work together than the space truckers we saw in Alien.
>>219494348did you miss the part where it's wayland's personal crusade to get a specific thing and not a nasa reddit science mission
>>219490771they were looking for the origins of life, so maybe he was a microbiologist and not a hepetologist
>>219494348>highly competent astronauts on an extremely ambitious mission with a secret objective.WHY DONT YOU MAKE 2001 HOW COME YOU GUYS DON MAKE 2001Maybe because it was already made? You forgot about it, didn't you. You retard.
>>219494321If I was going somewhere there *were* no doctors(and I was heir to a quadrillion dollars) I’d have one. And do you really think the crew alone can guarantee your safe return when you’re crewed out the rest of the way with retards?
>>219494409Yeah, I guess that’s why he’s talking about it like he knows what he’s doing.
>>219489482>>219490387Hello, AI bot.
>>219494468Kek. Afraid not. All legit observations I made from watching it earlier tonight. It’s a clusterfuck. >>219494380What I don’t get is why Weyland is so convinced that the Engineers can make him immortal. He says that gibberish at the beginning about David never dying, and then makes the leap to, “Well, we made him and he won’t die, so the guys that made us can do the same!” Only that’s not true. The androids don’t age, but they can still wear out, and that misses the mark even further when you take into account that Weyland still doesn’t see David as a living being. Of course he can’t die. He’s not actually alive in the first place.
David's a cool robit.
>>219494416Even with well written characters, Prometheus would not be worthy of being put in the same sentence as 2001.Plus, it's not like megalomaniac directors try to remake 2001 over and over again. Brian de Palma tried, too, with Mission to Mars. Same overarching plot as Prometheus, by the way, but a good decade earlier. Still shit, but at least the story wasn't trying to pretend to be what it was not by hiding in mystery box which only retards are falling for.At least it had a shit plot for everyone plainly to see.>>219494380If it's Wayland's personal crusade, that's more reasons to ensure that the crew double check that there's nothing on the planet before deciding to abort mission and go back.And if you are going to sacrifice eight years of your life, wouldn't you want to at least use the opportunity to take your place in history by being the first human to set foot on an exoplanet?If you write a story and can't even basically project yourself inside the characters mind to imagine how they would behave in the situation you put them in, you are a shit writer. No matter how you spin it.>>219491996>The visuals are gloriousYour screen capture is not even from Prometheus.Even the visuals are sub par. It's the same flat Apple aesthetic of all works of scifi of that decade. Compare it to the designs by Giger and Moebius in the original Alien.Or even that ad by Ridley Scott, roughly at the same period https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4w5LPOOFRw
>>219494686He’s the best thing happening in the movie. He’s basically Frankenstein’s monster, but collected enough to hide his anger.
RIDLEY WHY THE FACE RAPEWHY THE BLACK GOOWHY DO THE AYYS EXIST TO BEGIN WITH
>>219489482>but holy shit did you guys gloss over a lot of idiocy.No, sorry, literally every point here has been gone over a thousand times more than a decade ago and you still only got the most obvious ones. This is truly a piss-weak take, you should start doing youtube essays
>o noes! some crazy shit is erupting from that guys back>brb guys gona do a quick slapstick Laurel & Hardy impression and blow up the entire ship lawl
>>219495800forgot the fucking image
>hey you should stick your face in this strange looking egg thing it'll be hilarious>SURE THING!
>I'll do the fingeringNothing else needs to be said.
>>219489482Holy shit you are a fucking plebian faggot
>>219494567They do make a LOT of weird logical leaps in this movie. Like you mentioned, finding paintings then deciding they created all humanity and it's a map to where they want us to go, or that androids are immortal somehow, or that aliens can make humans immortal. Like we can make animals, alter them genetically, clone them, whatever, but we can't make them immortal. Especially not after they've already lived their entire life. Ridley was just very hell bent on making another "creation angry at its creator" movie but subverting it with creator hating its creation. Plus android hating its creator. Ridley loves that shit. Oh and don't forget the "we are flying a spaceship to LITERAL Heaven. We will find God himself and actual Angels there. Oh, there's no Gods nor Angels? Just stupid ancient aliens on this planet and they aren't immortal and invulnerable?! This shit sucks! Now to get suicidally depressed and enormously drunk because life is meaningless ahhhh!" What the fuck kind of retarded people did they hire?
>>219489482By far, the biggest mistake they made creating Prometheus was to decide to pretend it was an Alien prequel. That fucked up everything immediately. Now they already fucked up the lore, aesthetic and technology of both movies. Now they confined themselves to setting the movie on a dead, barren rock world with a crashed horseshoe ship when they didn't need to. The Engineer and the biotechnology are really neat ideas and great looking. They could have been set anywhere, such as an dead Engineer world where the humans explore creepy, enormous, long abandoned ruins. But no, when looked at as a whole, the movie is them flying to an empty rock planet, bumbling around like imbeciles, and through their stupidty they get themselves killed. That's the movie kek. None of the shit needed to happen that way but they're all arrogant, impatient, condescending, and moronic. Let's stick our hands in it! This is lame, God invited us let's take off our helmets! The Alien is totally chill and angelic, let's yell and fight in front of it. We're scared, so let's run off and get lost in dark tunnels then smoke weed haha!
>>219489482>After watching you guys discuss it for years, I finally got around to watching this piece of shit.Another filtered pleb, kek.
it was always kind of stupid that they created talking robots and built interstellar spaceships and could spend one trillion dollars on a single project but couldn't find a way to extend wayland's life
>>219498964We can do lots of amazing, wondrous things now but also can't extend life. Advanced technology in one area doesn't automatically mean other things become possible and mundane. We have tons of technology right now that everyone a few decades ago would say is impossible science fiction but that doesn't mean we can break the speed of light.
>>219489482>>219490387...
It's amazing that Ridley didn't understand they needed to provide more answers with the Engineer. It's why everyone went to see the movie. They just figured "he'll say amazing things and everyone will look at gim in Awe!" Then didn't actually have anything for him to say. His reasons for hating humanity were silly, his reasons for attacking the humans hypocritical and ridiculous, no reason to attack David or be angry that Weyland requested more life. Seems like a reasonable thing to ask for and after traveling many light years to come right to the Engineer you'd think he'd consider it a bit before beating him to death. The Engineer lives for a million years and a human barely one hundred after all. Quite rude. But no, in the movie we got almost nothing from the Engineers then the sequel killed them all off inmediately.
There will never be a third Prometheus.
