When are we going to see films with actual muscle men beating up sorcerors and monsters? None of that politically correct crap. Blacks can even be in it but as foreign hordes or mysterious sorceress jungle women. That was never the problem. The problem is the absolute pussies who work in film have no taste, sense of grandeur, or sense of myth. Stuff that our forbearers imbued us with.
>>219520501It's never coming back sadly.
>>219520501A solid Tower of the Elephant adaptation could bring it back
>>219520738No, because the black guy dies. There would be riots.
>>219520501The gay and women theater kids found the genre that was being gate kept by book and math nerds, all characters are flawless but quirky. Any deviation is hate speech
you're not gonna get those kind of visuals anymore with today's shitty lighting and digital cameras
>>219520787There are no blacks in that story
>>219520501It's that nachi activated.
>>219520814The other thief is a black guy. Read it again.
>>219520860Taurus isn't black
>>219520501AI will bring it back
>>219520501*pushes up glasses* ERM ACTUALLY this is LOW fantasy and not HIGH fantasy like you said
>>219520501op is based.
>>219522839It is most definitely high fantasy
>>219520501This a stealth reverse He-Man thread?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X21JsHLHnY8
Why did the Jason Momoa Conan movie suck so bad?
>>219520501>mysterious sorceress jungle womenI'll allow it if make nigger males slaves to sexy big titty black chicks casting magic spells
>>219520860He's Nemedian which is East of Aquilonia(France) so Eastern European at most exotic. Probably Germanic.
>>219522997Just compare one of the fight scenes to a fight from the Arnold one. https://youtu.be/EHUo6i5fvik?si=ykcbpWZj9IDCu45f&t=174https://youtu.be/WT08aqA5t08?si=fi8RycLoBGtW_Mox&t=127Weightless, uninteresting, lame. Shame too cause Mamoa had the presence for it.
>>219525335Mamoa was all wrong. Conan is a blue-eyed Scots-Irish gigachad. Arnold was closer but still not right.
>>219525592>Mamoa was all wrong. Conan is a blue-eyed Scots-Irish gigachad. Holy shit you've never read in Conan in your fucking life. Not even the comic books.
>>219526134Cimmeria is Ireland/Scotland. Go ahead and give me your cope.
He is always described by Howard with smoldering blue eyes and black hair.
>>219523280Anon probably misread it as numidian
>>219520738I think Red Nails is the most cinematic.>retro gimmick with 35mm film and heavy gel lighting>le stop motion dinosaurs and monsters>otherwise the whole thing takes place indoors and only has like 40 extras and characters totalIt would be kino and pretty cheap. The female MC is also pretty girlbossy despite Conan saving her at the end. Wouldn't be hard to greenlight.
well since GoT fumbled the White Walker story they can just rip that idea offCirilla space warping in the witcher 3 was cool toojust do a stand alone film of The Wild Hunt searching dimensions for the bloodline they need to sacrifice to their jewish god
>>219522992No, read the stories.>sparsely populated setting>vaguely defined bronze age civilizations>most of the magic is herbal medicine and fortune telling stuff>theres some cosmic entities and demons and shit but most of them can be killed by a big dude with a swordHigh/epic fantasy is when you've got detailed maps of magical civilizations and many species of intelligent humanoid creatures, like LotR. Magic is world altering and well-defined in canon, with specific spell systems and stuff. The focus is on internal consistency and world building.t. Fantasy authorI've read every single R. E. Howard story, even the unpublished drafts and stuff. He's my favorite author.
>>219520501Your only hope is AI movies. It's sad, but it's true.
>>219525592>>219526241You're thinking of the Picts, who are literally just Picts. Cimmeria doesn't have an IRL equivalent but if it did it would be in northern Russia. Conan is like a Slav/Turkmen/Scandinavian.
Taking over this thread.Who would you cast as Conan?
>>219527366>t. Fantasy authorlmaoanyway>High fantasy, or epic fantasy, is a subgenre of fantasy[1] defined by the epic nature of its setting or by the epic stature of its characters, themes, or plot.[2] High fantasy is usually set in an alternative, fictional ("secondary") world, rather than the "real" or "primary" world.[2] This secondary world is usually internally consistent, but its rules differ from those of the primary world. By contrast, low fantasy is characterized by being set on Earth, the primary or real world, or a rational and familiar fictional world with the inclusion of magical elements.
Whats the best deathstalker?
>>219527520Compare
>>219527520
>>219527872That's what I just said almost word for word.>>219528542Never seen this, thanks. I stand corrected. Is Cimmeria supposed to be in Scotland or Sweden? He wrote it in between.It's weird cause Conan doesn't resemble either. He's tawny-skinned, black-haired, blue-eyed.
>>219527941Two
>>219529257Howard definitely differentiated the nordic races, Conan is more Scot than Swedish. He is dark Irish.
>>219520501>Blacks can even be in itwont be watching.
>>219528542>>219529257Now I'm looking closer and I see two maps-- Howard's fictional world is overlaid on top of IRL Europe so that a bunch of regions spill over into the sea. I guess he wanted to anchor his world building in reality without getting too precise.>>219529404Doesn't really match the primary source I reply to above. I don't get the impression that lore consistency mattered much to Howard anyway. In the stories it feels like the world is uncharted and wild, and even the people who live there don't know much about the geography outside their immediate surroundings.
>>219529682The differing peoples is one of the main things I notice in Howard's work. Look at Frost Giant's Daughter, the Nordic red bearded warriors in that are different than Conan. He is in an alien (to him) land. I think he had a firm idea of the different races and lands in his stories which is one of his strengths.
>>219527520The Cimmerians are proto-Gaels. Read the Hyborian Age essay.https://www.gutenberg.org/files/42182/42182-h/42182-h.htm
>>219522997It didnt have John Milios attached to it. Milius was the reason the first Conan movie was awesome. He is the guy the OP is looking for.He used to hang out with George Lucas and Steven Spielberg in the early days ,and those guys were scared of him the guy was the real deal
>>219522009FUCK YEAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>219529978I share your perspective, but they're all just loose adaptations of real life races/regions. Everything is alien to Conan but recognizable to the reader. I wish he'd spent more time in Asgard, kino setting but it only gets his shortest story.>>219530125>The Gaels, ancestors of the Irish and Highland Scotch, descended from pure-blooded Cimmerian clans.>Other clans of the Cimmerians adventured east of the drying inland sea, and a few centuries later mixed with Hyrkanian blood, returned westward as Scythians. The original ancestors of the Gaels gave their name to modern Crimea.Honestly I don't think Howard knew much about anthropology. He's conflating multiple unrelated populations and seems to think Gaelic people were tall Scotchads.
>>219530334Ooooarrraowwww
>>219530765I think you underestimate Conan's intelligence and street smarts. Also I think there is an element of wish fulfillment there with Howard himself being of Irish or English descent. Conan after all is an Irish name.
>>219531219I think you're right on anon. Have you read Kull the Conqueror? Kull is pretty much the strongest smartest sexiest man alive. After ten stories or so I think Howard realized his MC needed a flaw, hence Conan the Barbarian. Yeah he's got street smarts and knows lots of languages, but objectively fails at politics in his ruler arc and knows nothing of magic, his kryptonite.
>>219522009I'm stoked for the Chrome Wars saga.
>>219530765It's fiction not anthropology.
>>219520501You don't have to "miss" anything anymore seeing how it's practically all on DVD and dvr rips. Instead of shoving mebah berries up your ass, you could be watching Conan or Krull right now.
>>219520501How about you grow up instead manchild?
>>219527856Better to find a guy who can act and has right build for it, than try to pidgeonhole famous people into acting
>>219531659I've only read Conan but I look forward to all of his other works.
>>219531659To expand on that, I like that Conan is not fit for court intrigue. He is too direct, too honest.
>>219532075Read the Gutenberg link anon posted. Howard tries to connect his fictional world with the real one as a sort of 'mythical history' but gets in over his head imo.>>219532908Arnold couldn't act and gave one of the most iconic performances in film history.>>219533108Delcardes' Cat is the only Kull story I really like, and it's actually as good as some of Conan's best. The others just feel like prototypical Conan. Bran's stories are worth a read too.
You can be tall, tan easy with blue eyes and tlraven hair and be 100% anglo
Arnie is making a Conan sequel.
>>219534485This type of shit gets teased all the time and never comes out. Old man Conan would be tite tho
>>219520501What other sword & sorcery high fantasy is there?
>>219520501>actual muscle men beating up sorcerors and monsters?Frieren The Undertaker.
>>219520501Sorry anon, masculinity is evil now.
>>219527856SEAL and Hedi Klum's chad son
>>219527366The hyborian age is not bronze age in any way. There are two civilisations in the setting that take inspiration from the bronze age while there are countless others that are just medieval and renaissance nations with the numbers filed off. Aquilonia is just medieval France complete with knights and chivalry and castles. Zingara is renaissance Spain. The Aesir and Vanir are just viking age Scandinavia. Etc etcAnybody who thinks the Hyborian age is bronze age reveal themselves as secondaries who have never read the Conan stories.Howard didn't even like the bronze age and classical era that much his favourite historical settings were the middle ages and colonial America
Sword and sorcery wouldn't work in the modern age for a variety of reasons, but primarily because the moment has passed. It's just one of those things. It's like writing a noir novel in the modern age, any "she had legs for days" type of stuff just comes off as a poor facsimile of the real thing. A modern day sword and sorcery movie would have to push the genre forward in some kind of way to not come of as a crappy 80's homage.
>>219535565We have neonoir films that still feel a bit like noir. You could have a new take on sword and sorcery that tweaks the formula a little.
>>219535565What if it was sincere?
>>219520501well, get used to it.because it will only become worse from now on.
>still waiting on that Kung Conan movieCome on, Arnold. Before you're dust.
>>219535532>The hyborian age is not bronze age in any way>There are two civilisations in the setting that take inspiration from the bronze age??You're right about Zingara and Aquilonia but they're the exceptions to the rule. Almost every story is about stone towers and forgotten city-states and that kind of stuff. Scandinavians did exist in the bronze age by the way. They didn't just siddenly appear in the middle ages wearing Viking costumes.
>>219537470The Aesir and Vanir are explicitly depicted in the same way Howard depicted the vikings in his viking age tales.How are stone towers and forgotten city states inherently bronze age? How is Conan wearing full plate armor commanding chivalric knights "bronze age" in any way? How are stories like beyond the black river which literally just depict colonial America with the numbers filed off "bronze age"?
>>219537597It's a pastiche of historical settings that mostly resemble what's depicted in the Schwarzenegger movie, including straw hut villages, empty desert expanses, stone towers in overgrown jungles, and more imagery that typically doesn't resemble the middle ages at all. Next are you going to pretend it's set in the mercantile age because of Conan's pirate arc? There are several of us in here who have read the whole collection. You're not impressing anyone with your erm arctruarly nerd shit.
>>219520501You will have to open your own studio to watch that movie.
>>219520501Conan is an example of low fantasy, not high.But yes, I agree, we've been overdue for this kind of movie.
>>219537803You expose yourself as someone who has never read the stories I'd you think the schwarzenegger movie is accurate. When did Howard ever write of Conan becoming a slave?It is not a bronze age setting, it is a kitchen sink setting. The oriental lost cities and deserts come from Howard's love of victorian adventure novels and not from the bronze age you absolute retard. Which is why there is a nation in the hyborian age called Afghulistan, inspired from Howard's love of kipling adventure tales set in Afghanistan. If Howard loved the bronze age so much why did he write less than ten stories set in the bronze age but countless stories set in the middle ages, the wild West, Afghanistan, the renaissance, etc?
>>219538026Low fantasy means magic in the real world, redditor. It doesn’t mean low-brow.
>>219538140Never suggested otherwise, 4thchinner.
cast him
>>219520501that was the only truly good film in that genre and retards can't understand that it isn't like any of its ilk.there were some that were alright, but always lacking in some way.it's a near perfect film regardless of genre and there aren't many of those, so don't expect anything to ever come.
>>219538118cope, you sound like alien/aliens and terminator/terminator 2 spastics in your perpetual whining>why isn't he EXACTLY LIKE MY CARTOONShe was made flesh and the ethos of conan was put into a film that I'd put in the top 5-10 of all films I've ever seen.the details don't matter, stop being a fuckwit. otherwise I'll start saying that you liked the momoa sludgefest
>>219535072>Old man Conan would be tite tho10-15yrs too late. Arnold is too old now.
>>219520501Idea on how to revive the fantasy genre for modern audiences:>Dungeons and Drag Queens.
>>219537004It would have to be something like that, but then it wouldn't quite be sword and sorcery and people would complain about how it doesn't quite scratch that same itch.>>219537072Doesn't really matter. Again, if you look at noir novels, there have been plenty of sincere attempts to recreate them and some of them even capture the style successfully, but at best they're still second-rate compared to the originals. Nothing quite ever compared to Dashell Hammet or James M. Cain. If you tried to bring back sword and sorcery movies at best it's just a 1:1 copy of the stuff from the 80's and it would feel stale, and at worst it's just a shitty parody.
>>219538118>When did Howard ever write of Conan becoming a slave?When did I ever write that in my post? We're talking about the setting, not the plot of the Schwarzenegger movie. There are bigger differences you could point out, like the main villain not even being a Conan character, not that it matters.>all that other shit about Howard's other storiesNot sure what point you're trying to make about Conan here.>it is a kitchen sink settingOf mostly bronze age historical tropes among others, correct. I'm glad you can admit when you're wrong.
>>219538452>Arnold is too old now.I like that scene in the first movie where the king hires them to track down his daughter. "In time the jewels lose their sheen and all that's left is a father's love for his child," or something along those lines. It would be a neat commentary on the character for him to sort of turn into that guy.
>>219538433Secondary detected>>219538936How is the desert bronze age? We know Howard liked the crusader states in the middle east far more than the bronze ageHow are hidden cities bronze age? They're a trope of pulp fiction of the era.If you see a setting that has multiple stories in multiple kingdoms featuring armor clad chivalric knights and pretend it's a bronze age setting then you're retarded.The two bronze age kingdoms in the hyborian age are stygia which is ancient Egypt and shem which is ancient israel/the levant. None of the others are bronze age in any way besides your retarded headcanon
>>219535532>The Aesir and Vanir are just viking age Scandinavia.I’m the most secondary of secondaries because my only exposure to Conan is the Arnie movie and Conan Exiles, but in the game, the Vanir tribes are depicted as Bronze Age Scandinavians while the Aesir are portrayed as Iron Age scandis.
It’s quite a bit of comedy but deathstalker was kind of cool. Wish it was more tonally serious though
>>219520501It's too kino for modern audiences.
>>219539413Conan exiles, and practically all Conan media in existence has nothing to do with Howard's stories.The pop culture image of Conan we have comes from frazettas art, not from the actual stories. Which is why 99% of Conan art depicts him as always bare chested when in reality Conan always wears armor if he knowss he is going into battle and in many stories is written as wearing full medieval plate armor
>>219527856You must not know anything about Stipe and just chose a random ufc picture. He has a super weird build and genuinely sounds retarded with the way he talks and mumbles words. Extremely uncharismatic. Weirdly short legs. Legitimately one of the worst fighters you could choose for this
>>219520795Man, that shot lives rent free in my mind, every now and then I think about it and how beautiful it is, it's just so elegant.
so, where do I start with Conan?
>>219539675>where do I start with Conan?The books.
>>219539675The books. If you prefer more visual storytelling, the Savage Sword of Conan comics are pretty good as well since they're based off Howard's original stories.
>>219539488that's a stretch, as you can wear multiple types of armor in exilesthe most 'innacurate" aspect is that you're not playing as conan himself but as your own character set within that sandbox
>>219520501We really were too harsh on movies like Kull and the Conan 2011 remake just because Arnold wasn´t on them. Never thought they´d perceive that as a lack of interest in the genre and just stop making those kind of movies altogether. If you ask me it could probably be brought back as long as audiences are willing to accept the drawbacks. Let´s be honest here for a second, most sword & sorcery movies always had B tier production values. If audiences can accept these woldn´t get LOTR money then yeah, you could probably bring them back. Only Crom knows how much damage social media could do to these kind of movie...
>>219527856Conan is a big guy, so i say Tom Hardy
>>219530212>Milius was also quoted as saying that "it might not have been bad for this country" if Douglas MacArthur had "crossed the Mississippi like Caesar crossed the Rubicon and proclaimed himself Emperor Douglas the First."I kneel
>>219540055For you
looksmaxxing austrian spawns an entire genre of fiction, influencing future classics like warhammer, which in turn gave rise to antisemitism and nationalist viewsI kneel, austria
>>219520501You could make a mostly lore accurate Conan movie/show and still mark off many of the current day dei hollyjew requirements. Lots of browns and women(some fiery) in Conan stories. Conan even had a capable black friend(Juba or something similar) that was in a few stories. The problem would be that no one seems to be able to write great dialog anymore. It would be reddit humor Conan which would just absolutely ruin it. Best we just don't try anon.
>>219539675The Slithering Shadow
>>219520501When you decide to create it
>>219520501>I miss sword & sorcery high fantasy Skill issue.>actual muscle menYou mean "gay steroid abusers?"
>>219539750I enjoy Petri Hiltunen, too.
>>219527856unironically arnold’s chad affair son
conan exiles is such a fun setting to have adventures in it’s a shame it’s stuck in such a wonk game
>>219532190ThisOP is a faggy
>>219522009AI can mimic the visuals of pre-digital fantasy movies but it can't actually write or create a new fantasy movie that isn't just capeshit with a retro aesthetic.
>>219527031
Netflix needs to re-up the Xena - Hercules series
>>219528542
>>219520501
>>219543781>posts wokeslopYou're the only thing gay here, "sister."
>>219520501>The problem is the absolute pussies who work in film have no taste>>219520688>It's never coming back sadly.Both statements are true. There was a massive purge behind the scenes of everyone who works in Hollywood many years ago now. ANYONE who was even remotely suspected of being non-woke was quietly never given work again, from scriptwriters to showrunners all the way down to the lowly production assistants. What we had is never coming back.....officially. Your best hope now is AI generated content. There's a fucking ton of based books that can be turned into videos, and some sweet comics like 1980s Savage Sword of Conan magazine
>>219527366>t. Fantasy authorThe one on youtube that inserts a full blown commercial for his own books in every single solitary video you make? And the one currently beefing with JMS?
>>219520501>I'm actually going by they-man these daysHere is your modern high fantasy bro
>>219527407>Your only hope is AI movies. It's sad, but it's true.>>219527856>Who would you cast as Conan?AI young Arnold circa 1980s. Otherwise, AI generate a Conan based on classic art like Frank Frazetta.This is not sad. This is epic. You can literally cast whomever you want and/or base it on the proper interpretations.
>>219520791gay men and women probably don't want to see greasy, muscular guys holding their long swords and panting loudly
>>219545043Dinosaurs hunting modern animals is a neat visual.
>>219545116Fuck Iranistan
>>219547453Is that line real? I know in the first trailer He-Man literally wears a name tag that says "He/Him," so I really don't know if you're just joshin' or not.
