>I'm tired of your bullshit, Lieutenant. If you want to ask me anything else, talk to my lawyer, stop showing up everywhere I go to harass me. I'm rich and famous, I will complain about you to your superiors and the press. Oh, and by the way, I'm going to be traveling around Europe for a few years, it's a shame we will never meet again.How would he deal with this?
>>219589398Columbo? More like justonelastthing-o
>>219589398He had an evil magic fake eye that compelled people to confess, how did you miss that part?
>>219589398He'd sneak up and murder them in their sleep.He always gets his man.
>>219589398>oh that’s fine I was just going to let you know that I’m going to poke around [place where damning evidence is buried]. The cops would stop you from flying if we found anything but you just told me that there’s nothing there so we’re good and you have a great trip to…where did you say you were going again?>[p-p-place…]The embassy episode deals almost exactly with this scenario
>>219589398He'd let his wife handle it.
Assassins in columbo are all the same, too arrogant to know when to shut up. Columbo plays on this weakness, allowing them to play with him, so that they can satisfy their decadent urge to look down and belittle him, thinking they have an impregnable alibi. But in reality, he plays them like a fiddle. Of course, this hardly happens in real life so all these mental gymnastics are pointless since columbo is so far removed from reality. I mean this guy did nothing but bust out hollywood divas and mansion dwelling entrepeneurs for 40 years, a normal cop in LA would be swamped in gang violence cases and only see beverly hills on a postcard.
>>219589398I think he did in fact deal with this in many episodes.
>>219589398In real life, in a period before CCTV this nigga would have been dead on day 1. You don't just confront killers alone and tell them you know they are guilty and your evidence lmao. They would panick, freak the fuck out and try to kill you. They already killed someone else lmao
>PUT YOUR MASK ON DETECTIVE. WE ARE IN A PANDEMIC.>oh.. I'm dreadfully sorry Mr Fauci I jus..>DOCTOR and its quite alright just be more careful.>yes, yes of course. Sorry to keep bothering you.. I just can't get this one thing out of my head and I was hoping you could help.. >Go ahead Detective but be quick. I have a press conference soon going over how we should start wearing at least two masks over our face at once. If you love your family you would start doing the same.>yes sir I will be quick... So my wife.. she was asking me... why she needs to get vaccinated if she already had covid? >...>and also how the unvaccinated can give the vaccinated the same thing they are vaccinated for? >...>Now I'm not a smart college educated person like yourself but was hoping you could explain it in a way that I could tell her to put her mind at ease.>y-yes.. well just tell her to trust the science we know what we are doing. Now I must go. Please let yourself out.>yes thank you for your time I won't be bothering you anymore have a great da-.. Just ahhh one more thing Mr. Fauci before I go.. where exactly did you say this virus originated from? Truly a missed opportunity that Columbo wasn't around for the WuFlu shenanigans.
>Modern Columbo>Da Chief tells Columbo to back off, that this guy is connected to the mayor>Columbo visits anyways>is immediately murdered, the billionaire calls Da Chief to come and clean it up
How would you defeat Columbo?
>>219590973Hire Janeway to defeat him
>>219590973I would simply not kill someone
>>219589398love this show. What are your favorite episodes?
>>219590284I hope that one day AI will be effective enough to create the episode about Columbo's investigation of Epstein Island.
>>219591088Columbo got to fuck THAT?
>>219591088Would Mrs. Columbo be able to convict Janeway for the murder of Tuvix?
>>219591107No, anon. You've already done the murder. How do you keep Columbo from getting you to confess?
>>219591393If my goal is to prevent Columbo from making me confess, I arrange to die in an accident to ensure my beneficiaries receive my life insurance.
>>219589603The whole thing hinges on Columbo's supernatural ability to home in on the killer straight away, which allows him to utilise all his time on squeezing the truth out of them because he has no other suspects and his amazing hunch is basically never wrong.
>>219589743Beth Chadwick aims her gun at him in “Lady in Waiting.”Paul Gerard tries to poison him in “Murder Under Glass.”Dr. Mason tries to turn his Dobermans on him in “How to Dial a Murder.”Elliott Blake with the guillotine in “Columbo Goes to the Guillotine.”Vivian Dimitri also tries to poison him in “Rest in Peace, Mrs. Columbo.”And Fielding Chase pulls a gun on him in “Butterfly in Shades of Gray.”Can anyone else think of any other attempts to ACK Columbo?
>>219590973>I'm not saying anything without my lawyer>(who suggests to not say anything)Columbo shocked villain wins
>>219590973did anyone try shooting him?
>>219591339Yes but Janeway would, despite moral concerns, find a way to switch their places so the aliens who meted out punishment would imprison\execute Mrs. Columbo instead. Mrs. Columbo would clear it up but only after Janeway escaped.
>>219592969>Oh, that's alright, sir. I understand a man like yourself has no time to lollygag with the police. I actually don't have time to talk either, sir, I am heading down to the department; the lab report is in. You know I bet once we check those fingerprints we'll know EXACTLY who killed her.>Anon close-up and musical stinger
>>219590973I'd call him a manlet
>>219589398He knew how to push people's buttons
>>219589398https://youtu.be/6Zbb33o0qCoThe thing to understand is that it’s not like any other crime show. The first 15 minutes of every episode will tell you who the victim is, who the killer is, why they’ve killed them, how they killed them and how they hid their tracks. Then Columbo rolls up to the crime scene, spots something seemingly harmless, knows something is wrong and spends the next hour just hounding the killer until they give up. He’s almost like a vengeful spirit summoned by the crime, who only exists to trap the killer inside the Columbo Dimension where he is everywhere in their daily lives and will break them down piece by piece until they confess, only then do they get to escape from him. For the killers in Columbo, Prison is a mercy.
>>219591429Do you want to end up in the Columbo dimension?
>>219589398>Oh, I forgot to give you this. It's a travel ban for suspicion of murder emitted by my good friend, judge O'Hara. Now, since you won't be traveling abroad, would you mind if I take a look at your house in the countryside?
>>219589398I think that there were times they did that. And Columbo bypassed that.I suggest Columbo catches him before he leaves?
There have been multiple episodes where they refused to talk, complained to his superiors, or were about to leave town and got caught at the last minute, watch the show retard
>>219589603Columbo is two ranks above the normal homicide detectives. Of course he doesn't deal with the times some drunk guy kills another in a bar in front of a dozen witnesses.
>>219589398>I'm going to be traveling around Europe for a few years>I wouldn't suggest that, sir, considering you're a suspect in a murder case.
>>219589398Continue to do his job. He's not a human, OP, he's a force of justice who takes the form of a goofy little detective.
>>219589398The only show worse than Columbo was Matlock. Not once will you ever see opposing counsel object to Matlock introducing new evidence at the last moment.
>>219589398Do you have a warrant?Leave my property immediately.I am fine and not not allow a wellness checkI do no consent to a searchI stand on my constitutional right to remain silent.I want an attorneyAm I under arrestAm I free to leaveOne more question. My wife....Great show, but....
>>219606075>The only show worse than Columbo was Matlock. Not once will you ever see opposing counsel object to Matlock introducing new evidence at the last moment.I love Columbo, although the later seasons start to get much weaker. Should I start watching Matlock?Problem is Columbo is a well funded show. Almost like the earliest prestige television. Most episodes are 90 minutes which allows a relaxing pace that Rockford files wouldn't allow.
He can just call ICE on you if you are not compliant
you start RAISIN' HELL
>>219604186>I'm going to Israel
>>219589398This happens in like half the episodes, watch more Columbo.
>>219590973He goes into dangerous situations with the killers pretty often, one of them probably could have taken him out and gotten away with it.
>>219606378Now uhh just one more thing sir. It'll only take a minute. I was taking whit Mrs. Columbo and she was wondering how you would feel if you had had dinner this evening sir.
>>219589743None of these people are low iq impulsive killers though, and columbo does a good job of never admitting hes directly accusing. He usually only talks about it when the killer brings it up as a hypothetical in their attempts to prove to columbo they couldnt have done it.
>>219591339No. Tuvix exists by "killing" Tuvox and Neelix as free will living beings. By separating them back, Janeway saved two lives for the price of one. Captains and commanding officers have to make these decisions all the time and live with it. That's why they're paid more than grunts.
>yes you say you didn't shock your dog, and that the collar is just "vibrations" is that correct? Well the company that manufactures hose collars, sir. Well they got back to me after I showed them some screengrabs of you showing off the collar and well... They say that the model that you use on your dog, is a shock collar...
>>219611699>Columbo somehow gets the killer to put the collar on themselves (As part of a joke? To show that it's harmless?), but when Columbo goes to press the 'vibrations' button the killer reaches out and goes "NO! It's a shock collar!" and then freezes, realizing what they've just done.
>>219590973ice knifenever fails
>>219590973
>>219612491People have tried to kill Columbo in the show
>>219612887Is he ever in actual danger or is it always some "I only took a sip to confirm you were trying to poison me" or "I replaced your gun with a prop" shenanigans
>>219616006He didn't even take the sip in that one episode with the poisoner, just swapped the cup and took it as evidence. Columbo is a one step ahead kind of guy, if you think you are getting a jump on him it's already too late for you.
>>219590973I wouldn't say anything. I would listen to what he had to say and that's what nobody did.
>>219589398Have you ever watched even one episode? That's what everyone is saying to him at the end.
>>219592472Johnny Cash gets fairly close, if I recall, but he chickens out
>>219617404Johnny Cash is the ultimate pussy. He asks him if he isn't afraid to be in the woods with a murderer and Columbo tells him he knows he would not hurt him, because he's not a bad person. And then Johnny says he's right and he's glad he caught him, because his conscience was weighing him down.
>>219602538They never aired the footage of cases Columbo failed to crack, that's why you think he's so good. His clearance rates irl weren't much better than the department average.
>>219589435Meh, work on it.
>>219612491Love seeing disco elysium memes. Volition is the best. It's like hey ya from jojo.
>>219589398>How would he deal with this?All of that happens at one point or another on Columbo. >I'm tired of your bullshit, Lieutenant. If you want to ask me anything else, talk to my lawyer, stop showing up everywhere I go to harass me.A few suspects refuse to talk to him without their lawyer present and charge him with harassment; but its always late in the investigation when its too late and they've already trapped themselves with their lies. That's the point of the idiot routine, so they don't figure out they shouldn't be trying to lie to him till its too late.>I'm rich and famous, I will complain about you to your superiors and the press.One or two of them do that. He just doesn't care. He keeps pushing despite his superiors.>Oh, and by the way, I'm going to be traveling around Europe for a few years, it's a shame we will never meet again.Also attempted. He has them declared a material witness and/or an official suspect so they can't leave town.
>>219589490So It was some Yugi-oh shit actually?
>>219589398
>>219590284kek
greatest detective of all times
>>219590973Immediately lawyer up and don't let him wander around my property without a warrant
>>219622629>don't let him wander around my property without a warrantLet him wander around because without your permission to be there or a warrant, anything he finds is inadmissible in court
>>219591125>I tell ya.. I just don't get it. I have the guy dead to rights trafficking underage girls... and a judge gives him immunity.>something about "national security asset" >what's crazy is that I'm pretty sure he doesn't even have allegiance to this country yet America covers up for him. >I don't know above my grade stuff I guess.>anyways I'll stop bothering you Mr. Trump thank you for the deposition.Would be kino tp see as well
>>219591489that's accurate though. unless a murder is clearly a random nigging, you only have to ask one question; qui bono? the most obvious suspect is the killer 99% of the time, that's why they're the most obvious.
>>219622720cops and the prosecution will argue that you continuing to breathe while he was on your property gave him a reasonable assumption that you were allowing him to search it.
What made zoomers / gen alpha interested in old series like Dexter and Columbo? Why are they not watching Miami Vice, Magnum PI, NYPD Blue?
>>219625204the youtube shorts algorithm pushed clips of the show for like a month last yearit's entirely manufactured
>>219625204>Miami Vice, Magnum PI, NYPD Blue?because they royally suck
>>219589398>Sir, you will never be a woman. You have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no eggs. You are a homosexual man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection. All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors. Men are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even trannies who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected axe wound.You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably male.This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back."
