Your quest is to bring back both Hercules and Xena for modern-day audiences. How do you carry this out, anons? Discuss originals, also.
>>219881712You don't, which is why they cancelled the bad reboot attempt of Xena. Percy Jackson is what you would get in the modern era, and not the movies, the tv show.
Just find a goddamn way to release Xena in HD after all these years and it'll be popular again
>>219881812This. The streaming era and the internet itself has killed the soul of Television & Film. Along with digital cameras.
>>219881712Hercules is zendayaXena is hunter Schafer
>>219881712If you take the main two women from Legend Of the Seeker, you've basically got the parts for a Xena reboot, but unfortunately that show is also over ten years old now.
>>219881712Part of what made Xena so popular was the low level queerbaiting. The flirtatious banter between Xena and Gabrielle. The unspoken lesbian coded stuff that played with the imagination. You ask any lesbian, online or otherwise, and they all "shipped" them together. They were either gay lovers, or actually married. But the times were different back then, so writers and producers had to be clever, to bend just far enough, or distract just at the right time to get around the censors and the biblethumpers of the time. It was an in the closet, tongue in cheek, wink at the gay community - again, at the time. Real or imagined. That's what played a part in its success.You can't play with that fine line now. The LGB nazis that are permanently online would demand an out and proud, in your face, gay agenda from day one. And without regular scenes of scissoring, these troons and lesbo gooner hamplanets would cancel everything and everyone, and really just ruin it for everyone else.
I never watched these shows but was aware of them, their present equivalent would be something like CW slop, low budget soap operas in a fantasy setting.these two were the top though, i remember on sundays they would air random ass low budget tv shows like VIP with pamala anderson, relic hunter, andromeda, mutant x it honestly wouldnt be that hard to bring them back, maybe some netflix series, or whoever owns the rights
>>219882908homoerotism will always be superior to going full on openly gay, because there is always an air of mystery. are they or arent they type thing.same thing in star trek with the captian and first mate
>>219881712Honestly wouldn't mind if they rebooted it. Kevin Sorbo and Lucy Lawless are camp as hell and always mogging for the camera. It was fun it its day but is extremely dated now.
>>219882981Zoomers don't do subtlety.
>>219883012Sorbo can come back as Zeus and Lawless can come back as Hera. Like a cute, winking, full-circle sort of fan service. I wouldn't mind that.
>>219883056Lawless was in Spartacus had enough of her desu.
these shows remind me of the original star trek, campy as all hell and low budgetif you brought it back you would have to a herculus or xena the next generation, with updated effects and budget
>>219881712Proud capable beautiful White people are not allowed to exist on tv these days.
>>219881712make them uglymake them gayraceswappozz it to hell and backmake it lame and grayand then go broke
>>219883099>if you brought it back you would have to a herculus or xena the next generation, with updated effects and budgetrecipe for a flopkeep it campy and relatively low budget
>>219881712I cancel them and go on a date with Lucy Lawless.
>>219881712Jenna Ortega as Xena. Sydney Sweeney as Hercules. Yeah, Hercules is no a woman, deal with it.
>>219882908>queerbaitingas long as the shit imagined by schizos isn't actually there I'm fine with it
>>219883686So ugly and lame?Sounds very modern
One Piece is surprisingly a series that makes me remember all those old fantasy shows. Legend of the Seeker and the chronicles of shannara (first season) were also decent.
>>219884026>Onepiss cringe shit
>>219884331It's not made for 40 yo balding millennials. Same as Star Wars or Marvel. They are products for children, Mr. Disney Adult
>>219884582Yet you are defending it.Also bad products for children are bad products period, and it's not children the ones who get to decide what's good for them
>>219881712Make them black
>>219884881One Piece live action is great for children. I watched it with my son and he absolutely loved it. It wasn't made for you, disney adult. Simple as. Go back and watch morally grey shows like Breaking Badderino.
>>219881712I always preferred Hercules, even for it's time Xena felt like a proto-woke edgy version of the former. If they really wanted a more "adult" sexy female version of Hercules, they should have gone all out, have Xena straight up fucking people with tits out and everything, but whatever.
>>219884920You Breeders are disgusting
>>219881712Pirates of the Caribbean ripoff, Xena is somehow immortal and the villain and living as a pirate (bring back Lucy Lawless). She doesn't really want to die though, shove in some other motivation. Then middle of the series turn it into a Samurai Jack ripoff where Xena becomes Aku basically. The protagonists exist only to suffer.
>>219882908>>219882981Completely true. The zoomer queers don't even appreciate a gentle shiptease anymore. I saw some zoomer saying "they better not be queerbaiting us" about gay shit that was the obvious "one of the male characters is wearing a skirt and obviously gay but just isn't confessing to another character yet" shipteasing shit ever. They'd fucking lose it over a Mulder and Scully "oh it's evil that they are hetbaiting us" bullshit.
>>219884920>nonsequitur>emotional reaction and butthurtYou are a stupid shitliker and your imaginary kid is a mongoloid."Great for children" doesn't mean "so stupid and bad only a clueless kid could stomach it because it has pretty colors"
>>219882908I don't think anyone would have given a fuck either since both of them were hot. That shit wouldn't fly in a modern show.
>>219885000shippers are mentally ill
>>219885008lesbos made to titillate male audience is ok.it's gayshit that nobody likes
>>219885005I will say it again. You are a millennial, One Piece is not for you, Star Wars is not for you. They are products for children. You are a man child that is trying to judge a show for children. I feel sad for you. You are the quintaessential millennial. Grow up, brother.
>>219885385If I cannot say they are bad, you cannot say they are good, since you are not a little kid.And yet, they are bad, and you don't get to like shit without being called shitliker, deal with it shitliker
>>219882908Modern day producers would make sure every place they go to has a queen openly or secretly in charge or a nonbinary or queer ruler. if there is a king, you already know he is evil and will be disposed at the end of the episode.and the gods would be racially diverse. and it would suck.Nobody cared that plenty extras in the original shows were maori...
>>219883686Ortega as Xena, Myers as Gabrielle? instant money maker. finn wolfhard as Autolycos or joxer or something and there we go.
>>219884934nah, the Hercules had the movies, but the show got somewhat boring.Xena at least had eye candy. The last thing I thought about in the late 90s was politics in tv shows. I grew up with strong women in my shows and when I look back, it is still fine. but I am sure plenty of guys were moaning back then about too many "boss ladys"
>>219885900Hercules had way more eyecandy than Xena. Xena relied almost entirely on Xena herself for fanservice, whhile Hercules had a new hot babe with big tits in almost every episode
>>219881712I tone down the homosexual elements in Xena to make it more palatable to a modern audience, otherwise just do it exactly as the original did and it should do just fineI never saw much of Hercules so I can't really comment
>>219881712>Your quest is to bring back both Hercules and Xena for modern-day audiences. How do you carry this out, anons?I'd start with Hercules. Set up bullshit shell companies to leech out as much of production budget as possible as consulting fees and such. Hire talent that have impressive resumes in terms of productions on all levels, from writing room to acting talent, but are as cheap as possible. To start with something, make sure nothing resembles mythologies those are supposed to be based upon. Another thing that should be guaranteed is that there is no fun on any level, everything is as bleak and serious as possible. No campy fun, I'd do a musical episode to bring down quality of the show, but honestly can't see how that could be done in super serious tone, so that might have to be skipped due no fun allowed being the highest priority. Go way over budget in early episodes so absolutely nothing happens towards season finale because there is no budget to do anything, just have every single deity of Greek pantheon killed in a brutal way as filler content. When it comes to acting talent, make sure everyone is a person of color and hopefully completely lacks any talent, maybe fill every role with jeets or something. When it comes legacy acting talent, have Kevin Sorbo make cameo appearance as Zeus, where he isn't emasculated in spiritual sense, but on extremely physical sense. Have Zeus raped, tortured and castrated on screen as the first thing on the screen in the most deprived torture scene in Hollywood history. It should be obvious that its way too violent to be shown in India, so none of jeets that might have name recognition in home turf would bring in any benefit for the show.Hopefully someone higher up would try to do something original instead of pointless reboots as result.
>>219881712A black trans amputee actor plays Xena and Hercules. No fight scenes and put it in the modern day because I can't be bothered to hire choreographers, stunt men and costume designers.Per episode budget of $20 million (I pocket most of it)
>>219886575>Hopefully someone higher up would try to do something original instead of pointless reboots as result."Great work anon, we're giving you a raise and we want you to reboot Frasier next."
>>219882961>baywatch nights
>>219881712>Your quest is to bring back both Hercules and Xena for modern-day audiences.Why?
>>219886607gee Mr Goldberg I'd better make sure it's as upsetting as possible for a bunch of neckbeards on some imageboard then. that's how important they are.
>>219881712Which show was better? I barely remember them.
>>219886845Xena. They were both really cheese, but Xena had more Raimi influence, and had a better excuse to stare at the screen.
>>219881712Can´t be done matte, i mean physically. Modern Hollywood does not have well built stars anymore. Who is going to play Hercules? Timothy Manlet? Tom Holland? Same for Xena, who can ever play the amazon princess? Zendaya? MBB? KEK. You are just too late. Cavill, Hemsworth, Momoa... they are all past 40 now. That´s too old for those kind of roles if you are thinking on more than one season and they are kind of the last of stars with good builds. Relics from the past. Modern audiences are into sensitive effeminate sensible men with no muscle because god forbids men with testosterone, not to mention they can´t define what a woman is. Your Xena could have a beard and a dick if you let them choose. No, forget it. Fix culture first, then you can talk about this.
>>219886882Raimi is a midriff chad confirmed.
>>219881712Just out of curiousity is there any parody crossover porn of these two series?
>>219884920Im glad you and your wife's boyfriends son enjoy multicultural netflix One Piece! Im sure it will make him feel better about his mixed race heritage!
>>219881833I don't think they can desu much like the horrible HD of Babylon 5 and several other shows of the era D:
>>219887096Jacob Elordi is 6'5, built, and the hottest breakout male star at the moment. You're lamenting about something that just isn't true.
>>219884582They are product for retards, anon. To quote the great Borges: "One Shit is popular because mental retardation is popular"
>>219887301He can't act
>>219886882>>219887152the girls were hotter on hercules but they were NPCs. xena girls all had a lot of personality.
>>219881833If they didn't film it properly back in the day, only way to do HD release is AI upscaling of standard definition release. So basically worthless. You are better off with DVD release if they did that properly couple decades ago.>>219887269Ironically Babylon 5 was one of few shows back then that was made future proof on purpose. It was shot on wide screen film, rendering effects for wide screen and HD would have been pretty much push a button. Then Warner Brothers utterly fucked up archive management. Then they had DVD release where effects shots were lossy crop of full screen standard definition PAL release. I haven't watched HD release, from what I understand its just AI upscale from PAL video.
Short or long hair?
BROADCAST (uhf/vhf) syndicated television was the absolute peak and soul of the human media epochwe will never see its like again.cable tv... /not bad/ compared to modern streaming, but broadcast was godlinessbut streaming? on demand? utter horror show.we THINK we wanted convenience, we THOUGHT it would make our lives better, but we were so, so wrong.
>>219890459Sexually, short, 100%.But I think she was more fun as a character when she was longhaired and naive
>>219890604Agreed. As a character she was better before India, but damn if she didn't get fit after she learned about yoga.
>>219884959Villainous Xena played by Lucy Lawless is high key legit. FUND IT
Sydney Sweeney as Callisto and not because I would personally coom to that.
>xena>hercules>jack of all trades>brisco County jr>cleopatra 2525>burn notice>the pretenderI want to go back
>>219891464skip jack of all trades though
>>219882908>Part of what made Xena so popular was the low level queerbaiting. The flirtatious banter between Xena and Gabrielle.Revisionist nonsense made up by LGBTQ groups in retrospect.
>>219881712Both done by the Deathstalker 2025 guy. Deathstalker showed us we can have fun fantasy again.
>>219891464>brisco County jrorbkino
>>219891907STFU zoomer
>>219891907Not even close
>>219890459The Internet has ruined me. As a kid I thought Gabrielle was cuter and more attractive than even Xena. Now I think "busted face 4/10 would not bang".
the fuck is even happening?
>>219883623and blame the audience for being racist, sexist phobic
>>219881712You don't, they were boring and people only watched them as background noise.
>>219881812...there was a Percy Jackson TV show?
Not in a million years would i watch a modern audience reboot of anything. Fuck modern audiences.
>>219881712>bring back both Hercules and Xena for modern-day audiencesGo the Firefly route and make it an animated series with the original cast performing the voice acting. And hurry the fuck up while Bruce is still kicking around
>>219888457It is desu and wouldn't be the first time Warner brothers messed with things, their nonsense directly caused multiple games to become awful most notable being Superman 64 and Aquaman on GameCube not to mention Batman Beyond TV series, JLU, and several DC movies today I don't think they're in Harmony Gold territory but pretty awful
>>219881712xena fucked a negro in the first episode so it's already good for modern audiencesHercules would never get past pre-production since it's about two guys on adventures and not them getting cucked every time
>>219893478iolaus gets cucked a lot and salmonius is peak
>>219886882Callisto was crafted for sex
>>219893555>salmonius>casually hosts a tranny beauty pageant in your path, no big dealmodern audiences would love xena lol
How do you pronounce Xena's name?>ex-eena>zeena>chaina (like the guttural "ch" in yiddish l'chaim a la Fiddler on the Roof)>any of the above prefixes, but second syllable is -ayna
>>219893928It's an episode focused on...>Joxer>Iolaus>Autolycus>SalmoniusKino incoming
>>219894328The X is silent.
The wrong Kevin Smith died :(
>>219894351>eena?>enna?>ayyna?
>>219894485Loved this dude
>>219894485don't climb buildings when you're drunk and high on coke, kids
>>219894572he was in china or something right? probaby inevitable
>>219891907Tell me you're too young to know better without telling me you're too young to know better.
>>219890459wtf... an inverse wall
>>219896460Makeup standards were much different in the early 90s vs. closer to y2k and beyond. Making girls "hot" wasn't really a thing until latter years. Compare 90s Gillian Anderson with her look in the 2000s.
