LOTR bros? 2027 we're going home.
>>219886348I want to get off this ride
>>219886348Grow up, nigger
>>219886348Do manchildren have some obsession with Gollum? Why? Literally who gives about about this ugly little creature.
>>219886348So it's from the perspective of orcs or the nazgul? No one was looking for smeagol. He had the fucking ring for like 400 years completely unbothered. Then bilbo steals his shit, he loses his mind, and gets scooped up by an orc patrol to get a private room in mordor for 8 years getting tortured until he says BAGGIIINNSNSSSS. SSHHIIRREEEE. Then no one gave a shit about him.I only recently found out Gandalf was doing research on the ring for 17 fucking years after Bilbo disappeared at his birthday party and left the ring on the floor.There's MASSIVE passages of time between events the movies make feel like are happening at the same time apparently.
>>219886533I don’t understand how it could take Gandalf that fucking long. He mustve been getting high or something
>the lord of the rings the hunt gollum for
>>219886533Party damn sure some appendix explains that Aragorn or Gandalf were looking for him after Sauron got his hands on him. That's why Gandalf knows that Gollum told Sauron about "Shire" and "Baggins".
>>219886533>I have never read Lord of the Rings, but let me speak authoritatively about it
>>219886965Dude, the events of LotR take place in the third age. Up to the point where Gandalf tries to look shit up the world - and pretty much for the whole time the One Ring - existed for nearly 6 or 7000 years.He had to come through thousand upon thousands of uninteresting birth documents, marriage certificates, tax declarations and tons of other shit to find the probably three documents that were actually talking about the ring, and then he had to find other documents to verify the integrity of the information. Plus his love for the halflings leaves has clearly slowed his mind.
>>219887194There would probably be maybe 2 or 3 places in the whole world information on the ring could be, and then he would just go to the oldest materials stored in those places originating from the same time period. It’s at best a few bookcases. A year, 2 tops, but 17?
Oh my science, YES!!!!!!! Another franchise getting squeezed dry of every drop of profitability it has!!!!!!
>>219887236No one knew Isildur had the Ring, Gandalf had to dig up his personal correspondence from three thousand years ago to confirm it. and Gandalf didn't spend that entire 17 years solely searching for evidence, he was also doing other wizard stuff
>>2198873621 year searching for Isildurs bird-watching journal, 16 years smoking pipe-weed.
>>219886348No thanks >jumps out window
>>219887329LotR is Christian fanfiction written by Euroids
>>219887362Elrond knew
>>219887820*catches you**fingers your asshole*
>>219888144In the films, yes, but that scene was invented for the movie
>>219886348who even likes gollum this much
>>219887124he talks about finding gollum at the council of elrond.
>>219886348Slop shitty
>>219886348will we finally learn how and when the Nazgul transitioned?
>>219888170>*record scratch freeze frame>yup, that's me>you're probably wondering how I got here >wellllll it all started whe-AaOOooAAAAAAAH>*sharts into oblivion*>so forceful I'm projected upwards at 20m/second on a 45° angle >literally reach space ahead of a trail of brown mist >hit Artemis>tell them their mission is fake and gay and I'm still not watching the lord of the gollums
>>219889520cast the inevitable adaptation
>>219886965>I don’t understand how it could take Gandalf that fucking longhe was negotiating with some very stubborn eagles
>>219889545Of my anal space launch? Former Top Gear host James May as the unfortunate victim of chanced surprise finger nabbing. Walton Goggins as the perpetrator and lightning mcqueen as the moving vehicle, voiced by Owen Wilson. For the lord of the golems, I would cast Jack Black as every single character and make it an adaptation of his failed film series from within Tropic Thunder, The Fatties
>>219889545Emma Watson and me. I finger her tight, delicate, pink, virgin anus, just one finger at first, then I stick a second one, unannounced cause I'm a naughty master. Then I tell her to taste it with a thick Eastern European accent.
It's so stupid that this was greenlit
>>219886444andy serkis play himhe doesnt have much going on, this franchise is basically all he has, and PJ staff and the studios let him cook shit like this out of consideration and friendship, and ofc, to make money out of chuds desperate for not-so-woke shitalso I heard women sympathize with gollum, I think some anon used to post pictures about it when the first hobbit movie came out last decade
>>219888356you are fucking retardedafter isildur cuts sauron's at the bottom of mt doom, elrond the that old bearded elf Cirdan council isildur to destroy the ringthey were right there and witnessed it
>>219886965Bro was running sidequests all the time. They even went through Moria because (in the book) he wanted to check out what had happened with the Dwarf expedition and just what the fuck Durin's Bane was.>>219887236He was trying to identify what the ring was. He eventually narrowed it down to The One Ring, but it could have been something else. So he did extensive research about the many lowercase rings of power (that is to say, not the one, 3, 7, or 9) that exist in the world. Keep in mind the invisibility effect wasn't widely known. Probably only Isildur knew about it prior to Gollum and Bilbo.
>>219886348This could have unironically been decent had the whole cast shown up for it. If only Orlando and Ian McKellan show up and no one else who gives a fuck? Some other weirdo is playing Frodo and Aragorn and everyone else? Fuck that shit. Why even make it?
>>219887046>Ayo why they hunt gollum fo’ ??
>>219891478what are you fucking retarded? Fuck the cast, they did a great job at the time but no one wants middle aged Elijah Wood playing an adolescent hobbit, Aragorn older than Gandalf was in the trilogy, etc. No idea how they're going to make Orlando not look like the bloated boomer he has become and more like the prettyboy he was 20 years ago. Only McKellan can pull it off still.
What do old gays get up to anyways? I can’t image it’s been easily for Ian after lotr. Nobody wants to prolapse Gandalf
>>219891651You’re right about that they should have recast everyone or not make it if they couldn’t get everyone back.
>>219891763Imagine how fucking flappy and prolapsed this old mf’s asshole must be.
>>219886348spoiler: the orcs find him
not to break your dream came true, but Gollum was the worst part of the book, already.
I hope we get some background on where Gandalf got his pipe from
>>219891914I hope they explain where they got tobacco and tomatos from
>>219891914We’re gonna get into Glup Shito territory with this and the Colbert movie
>>219891914it was given to him by Saruman, and it was carved from Treebeard's giant wooden cock, that's what gives Gandalf his magic halfling weed smoke tricks
>>219886348Fuck off shill.
>>219886348Really wish there was a timeline in which four rangers tied each of Gollum's limbs to a horse and they ripped him apart.
>>219886444No, people only like Gollum because of Andy Serkis's portrayal. I've never met anyone who really likes the character himself. Which makes it all the more strange that they are making this film
I'm more hyped for this kino, you just know a Tolkien-nerd like Colbert will protect the lore
>>219894037where are the women of color on this poster, chud?
>>219886965>>219887194>>219887236>>219891395The long and short of it is that Gandalf was convinced Bilbo was in possession of one of the lesser rings.TL;DR: Before creating the original Rings of Power, the Elves of Eregion created an unknown number of "lesser rings" that had various powers of their own. So Gandalf fought what Bilbo came into possession of was simply a lesser ring that made you invisible. After all, he didn't know that hobbits have some inherent resistance to dark magic, and thus could wear the fucker for decades without becoming monsters.
>>219894037>>>>>>>written by Steven Colbert lol what the actual fuck this real?
>>219886348> we're going home.who is we in this context, tranny?
>>219894786this wtfColbert is a demented Trump supporter not one Hobbit is blackwhy isn’t Bombaldi black?the fuck?fuck Colbert
>>219894037>Shadow of the PastTom is about to fuck them isn't he? That dirty old pervert. Always preying on innocent little hobbitses. He calls himself Bombadicko.
>>219886348>*only a select few cast members are returning accompanied by a bunch of recastsWorst possible scenario. Get everyone back or recast it. This is dead on fucking arrival.
