The biggest fumble in film history?
>gets Liv TylerI think he did just fine The real winner though? Sam got Rosie
>>219959645aragorn was playing the long game. Elf pussy stays young and tight for like 500 years.
aragorn was groomed
>>219959645
Eowyn is annoying in the movies
>>219959645what a maid, wife material as fuck. i'm so lonely bros
girlboss
Literally every non-hobbit woman in the trilogy is ugly.
>>219959744me too, anon. me too.
Eowyn was the superior choice not just because she was more attractive, but because a union with her offered much more advantage for Gondor. It would have cemented the alliance with Rohan, and even a chance of merging the two kingdoms should Eomer die without an heir of his own. Arwen would offer nothing, because her people have absconded from Middle Earth. On a symbolic level, choosing Eowyn, a symbol of the new alliance of men, would be far more appropriate as queen of a new age more than Arwen, whose people are symbolic of the past ages.
>>219959645Why not both? He was a king, after all.
>>219959818This Anon convinced me.
>>219959818eowyn was an obnoxious feminist with a chip on her shoulder
>>219959818I’d rather serve a king who fucks an elf. Not some country bumpkin horse slut
>>219959919Eowyn was a loyal trad woman who yearned for the glory of her kingdom and house.
>>219959645Because the conspicuously absent rape scene?
>>219959645she marries Faramirhe was a bit cucked in the films but in the books hes one of the best characters
>>219959818The book all but says outright Galadriel and Arwen are the two most attractive women on Earth, and that it's a matter of taste weather one prefers the raven haired goth version or the blonde sun goddess. Eowyn's kind of pail and waifish by comparison, sort of washed out. Where you have to look hard to see strength beneath her outward appearance. >>219959919She's suicidal but the film makes it appear more feminist than it really is. She's really drained from being Theoden's tard wrangler for all those years. The most feminist thing that goes on is some irony because thinks she's being put out to pasture by Eomer when Eomer leaves her behind because he thinks she's the most qualified person they have left to lead the people if they all wipe at Pelennor. The film's all 'yas gurrl slay' during her fight with the Witch King but the book's really fucking clear she's not being brave, she's acting out a death wish.
rarest instances where the brunette woman is hotter than the blonde one
>>219959956Éowyn is a princess.
They improved Eowyn from the books unironically
>>219959818Lol, no. Also having kids with an elf will held super-charge the Numenorian bloodline with more giga-chad superhumans, which is important.
>>219959818>has known Aragorn for two hours>Why are you leaving???? Don't you know I love you?Imagine being married to this
>>219961767>Imagine being married to thiswhat a dream
You guys are delusional. Arwen and Éowyn are both great women.
>>219961786If you think a woman being obsessed with you is a good thing, you're retarded, I know you'll never actually get a gf like that, but if you did, you might wake up one day without a cock.
>>219959645She's white and beautiful.
>>219961927Arwen is kind of more obsessed thoughbeit
>elves are resurrected in the Halls of Mandos>humans have some mysterious unspecified fate after deathOkay, so what happens to a half-elf? I need to know that before I breed with an elf. If I'm a human, I may not be going to the same afterlife as my wife and children.
>actress is almost 60 years oldGod just please take me already
>>219959713What age do you think Arwen waited for to make her move?
Does the *hits pipe* meme work on Elrond if he raised Arwen AND Aragorn?
>>219961991Half-elves are just fancy humans.
>>219964214>pay to raise your daughter AND the dude who gets to fuck herHe's ultra double plus mega cucked
>>219961575Tolkien was explicit on their descendants turning into mundane fools and despots within a couple of generations.
>>219959645She's so needy and that makes her unattractive. Of course she ends up with a cuck with no charisma.
>>219961991Half Elves get to choose if they want to be an Elf or a Man. Elrond decided he wanted to be an Elf. His brother decided he wanted to be a Man and became Aragorn's Great^50 Grandfather.
>>219959675liv tyler was prettier, but damn, that body is one of the most disappointing things in the history of women. miranda otto's body is just average but compared to liv tyler she's a fertility goddess
>>219964724I don't think they even get that unless they are the super special criaduras peredhilo Eärendilo. The princes of Dol Amroth descend from less distinguished half-elven stock who received no such offer.
>>219959818polygamy would've solved this problem easily
>>219964631>She's so needy and that makes her unattractive.Faggot of the century award goes to this poster.
>>219959818See>>219959686>Elf pussy stays young and tight for like 500 years.
>>219961962this, eowyn never chose her life or people over a man. Arwen has barely even spoke to Aragorn even in canon.
>>219965365Incel who has never been closer to a woman than 5 meters:
>>219966572>akshually you don't want a woman who wants you back, you should instead be with a woman who hates you and will divorcerape you at the first chance she gets
>>219961927Why is it a bad thing?I would get an online job and be with her always.
>>219961767She became infatuated with the idea of this tall numenorean ship king from the north and upon being told "bro, you don't know him" she immediately thought better of it.
>>219966743Let me explain how life works. Men like to chase prey. When a woman immediately tell a man she's into him it makes her look like a slut and he never values her,because he didn't need to put any effort.
i once was super drunk and i found miranda otto's twitter and sent her a paragraph about how i loved her and would do anything for my lady of rohan while also quoting parts of the movie that involved her. she didn't get back to me, but i'd like to imagine that since her twitter account wasn't very popular that she probably read the message since she probably only would get 1 or 2 per day
>>21996284756, he was still a boy
>>219967589>but i'd like to imagine that since her twitter account wasn't very popular that she probably read the message since she probably only would get 1 or 2 per dayI'd like to imagine she didn't.
>>219967728>t. faramir
>>219964631that's how I ended up with my wifegoing on 15 years of marriage
>>219959818Aragorn was a numenorean chad with gigachad genes. He became a king and stopped Sauron. Why the fuck would he only contain his dna to a single woman? In reality, he would bang both, and have a chamber of concubines at his disposal to impregnate.This is why in the end I quit Tolkien's work. His fiction is over the top noble znd unrealistic and if you follow it you get depressed because you realise humans are hormonal and shitty people.
>>219967787>This is why in the end I quit Tolkien's work.so you quit his work at the end of the story
>>219967869He has more works than the lord of the rings or even Middle Earth for that matter. He also rewrote Beowulf for instance.
>>219959818Rohan was like 17th century Luxemburg, you wouldn't marry into that
>>219967869>He drew a deep breath. ‘Well, I’m back,’ he said.as soon as I read this line I closed the book and I shelved it
>>219968007Part of Spain?
goldberry best girl
>>219968509I wonder if Tom Bombadil piped her on the reg, or if he did it at all since he was an eldritch horror from the outer dark
>>219968602>I wonder if Tom Bombadil piped her on the regI can imagine there isn't much else to do in the old forest
>>219959645Needed to be plausibly knife-ear mogged.
>>219961505Princess pfft. Two fucking kingdoms and we got this pygmy thing in Rohan
Gayest thread in the catalog right now. And that includes the one about actually being gay
>>219959645yes
>>219959645She's a normal human who will age like a hag while Arwen will remain as her peak 20 year old Liv Tyler self for a millennia Aragorn is also like 85, he's not a sick fuck
>>219959818she is not an elf princess so no
>>219974398>>219974443>bro just stick with the same bitch for like 800 yearsRetards
>>219974714Aragorn wasn't going to live for 800 years. He was long lived but not that long lived.He was married to arwen for about 120 years before he died
>>219974901>what is hyperbole
>>219974901>>219974398If Elves really can live for millennia, then Elf genius inventors would have rapidly advanced technology in Middle Earth, instead of still fighting with swords and arrows.
>>219975007We are discussing a literal immortal woman here pal. 800 years is not an unreasonable discussion for a marriage between 2 elves
>>219970623dear lord that hairline and forehead is dreadful. she has more face above her eyebrows than beneath them
>>219975469Large foreheads are good for kissing.
>>219959645Eat at a restaurant with meat back on the menu tonight.Get the Rohan stew.Have a large pint at 4 o’clock in a crowded Pony or Dragon-themed pub. Go on an adventure where you’ve never been.Listen to some elves whom you think may have nothing in common with you.Order the po-tay-toes. Eat salt pork. Have a lembas breakfast. Have two.Be open to a Middle-Earth where you may not understand or agree with the orcs next to you, but you steal mushrooms with them anyways.Eat cherry tomatoes sloppily.Tip your barmaid.Check in on your fellowship. Check in on yourself.Enjoy the ride to Gondor.
>n-no eowyn miranda otto please don't ride my cock ahah y-yeah no don't suck it either ahah yeah n-no don't you cuddle and be caring with me either ahahah
>>219970623>>219977793Aragorn could have come home to this every day
>>219978238He didn't stand a chance.
>>219978425Arwen didn't live in Rivendell when Aragorn was growing up there, she was in Lothlorien with her mother Celebrian, the daughter of Galadriel and Celeborn. She got caught by orcs when she went over the pass to reach Rivendell and got raped to death btw.
>>219967749>Faramir proves his quality
>>219978527Okay, so he was 20 years old and not a child (2). For a Dúnedain, and compared to an elf, he might as well have been a child (and groomed).
>>219959818Ya but she starfishes in bed, so
>>219959645>that fiveheadNope.
>>219959818>and even a chance of merging the two kingdomsWhy? For what purpose? Tolkien supported the Catholic principal of subsidiarity, so Rohan is best off with autonomy.>should Eomer die without an heir of his ownHe didn't.>Arwen would offer nothing, because her people have absconded from Middle Earth.Aragorn and Arwen ruled together for 120 years, something Eowyn wouldn't have been able to do and Aragorn would've likely been a widow for most of his reign.The union of Aragorn and Arwen also reunited and restored the three unions of the Eldar and the Edain. Such a noble lineage would undoubtedly rule with honor and wisdom for thousands of years.
>>219959645her soup was pure shit though
>>219959645AH GIRL
>>219959645>fumble>some ugly peasant thin straw-haired blondie>over dark hair/pale skin/light eyes literal Elvish RoyaltyNigger what?>>219959818Nigger, Rohan was a backwater settlement of wooden huts. The fuck do they have to offer to Gondor? Also>Eowyn >more attractive than ArwenWhat sort of shitty LARP is this?
>>219959818She was like a kid to Aragorn, think about that. He was more into old women like Arwen.
>>219959645She couldnt cook for shit. Thats a huge deal breaker. First fight they had she wouldve gotten her sword and started swinging it like a nutty squirrel at Aragon
>>219959675Since Hobbits are technically Men, does that mean the Men living in Eriador could hop on over to the Shire and breed with a Hobbit waifu?
>>219980200At last, some sanity in this godforsaken thread. Let's just rank the two ladies on a few basic issues:— KITCHEN PROWESSE: Produces inedible crap because Andrea Dworkin told her cooking is oppression or something.A: Can and will cook you a plethora of delicious meals. (She's a million years old so she will have learned every skill over the centuries, like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.)Result: Arwen wins.— LONGEVITYE: Will, like every human 7/10, drop to a 5 in the next ten years.A: Will be a solid 10 for you until you die.Result: Arwen wins.— BEDROOME: Probably frigid.A: Earth-shatteringly, eye-wateringly marvellous (elf sex is canonically so intense they can't do it often or they risk setting the forest on fire or something, according to Tolkien).Result: Arwen wins.— RESPECT FOR A MAN’S PERSONAL SPACEE: Constantly nags Aragorn and pesters him with emotional neediness even when she can see he's got other things on his mind.A: Is prepared to wait in the background for hundreds of years at a time if that seems appropriate.Result: Arwen wins.FINAL VERDICT: Arwen wins by a score of all the points.
>>219980200by the time Aragorn is crowned Elessar Telcontar, the Eldar have all left Middle Earth for Valinor, Elrond and Galadriel were just hanging out with a few retainers so they could say goodbye before boarding the ships. The Elves have nothing to offer Aragorn politically, he married Arwen for love.
>>219959818>blablabla muh tax policy>vs rough elf sex and biting knife ears
>>219959675>>219978425>>219980200I refuse to buy into this millennial psyop that Liv Tyler is all that. She's a 6 at best and only got her acting roles because she's a nepo baby.
>>219964757>, that body is one of the most disappointing things in the history of womenwait really
>>219959645WORMTONGUE'D
