ITS UP
THANKYOU BASED UNCSLOP CONTENT CREATORS
I'm glad jay is recovering after the beating Mike gave him
Mike's addiction to slop is becoming genuinely concerning
>almost an entire minuteYou're getting slow
>>220032921If they don't love and praise the movie I will never give them another cent.
I'm literally 16 beers deep rn
>>220032950crank movies are good though
>>220032921Eurghh, I don't think Mike is a good pick to talk about these movies. Hope I'm wrong.
>>220032984Based
Where is the Project Hail Mary HiTB?? Why do they never make videos of current, well received movies anymore? I donate 50 bucks a month for this slop???
>>220032921These boomers have officially lost it
>>220033005They save all the actually popular movies for the year-end/mid-year catch up
>>220032921It's over
>>220033005>NOOOO I NEED THEM TO TELL ME IF I SHOULD LIKE THE CURRENT THING! I GAVE THEM FIFTY DOLLARINOOOOSgo watch lee cronenbergs the mummy
>>220032921Have these manchildren ever watched a movie made before the 70s
>>220033005You have a million youtube channels for this
I FUCKING LOVE CRANK
>>220032921I bet jay complains about sex scenes and call them rape
>>220033251Yes Jay, the man most known on RLM for loving perverted movies, will definitely complain about a sex scene. What the fuck is wrong with some of you?
>>220033005The Minecraft fiasco has them even more scared than they were before.
>>220033286>MUH IMAGINARY E-CELEB DRAMA
>>220032921Boy oh boy I can't wait for Mike to trot out his legendary "how I would have done it" bit, that's always good for a laugh.
>>220033280Everyone here loves rlm, mike is daddy and jay is bf, this how we show our love
I actually like deathrace. should i watch The Transporter series next?
>>220033300Sorry your internet daddies are giant pussies, hon.
>>220033280He complains the movie is problematic because people say "gay"Lol
>>220033493He doesn't though. You know we can watch the video right? He's literally laughing the entire time. He says "the kids" would call the movie problematic, meanwhile he's laughing at all of it. Are you retarded?
>>220033372yeah they're pretty decent.
Crank movies are fucking amazing and needed to be added to the Congress Library
>>220033493But he says "Fag shenanigans" in one of the half in the bags.
>>220033520Yes you do Jay You called the movie racist
>>220033551He doesn't though. He literally defends the movie against anyone calling it racist. Again, are you retarded?
>>220033583You're a pussy jay
I should re-watch Crank, such fun movies.
>>220032987Sorry I never saw them, just looked at those posters and assumed the worst
wow wow they decided to review something interesting for once
IN CRANK 3 CHEV CHELIOS MUST-
>No don't tackle the world, tackle a fuckin whoreI chuckled
>it was a different time!>2009
>>220033061>lee cronenbergI was waiting for them to make that joke because they love the saying the wrong name because their close enough kind of joke and it never came.
>>220033139How did Mike beat the charges?
>>220033251Jay has talked about this scene before and he did not seem grossed out by it but thought it rather humorous.
Damn, I forgot how cute Amy Smarts was.
>>220033741Watch em, they're fucking hilarioushttps://youtu.be/NoD_UPL_9UI?si=ieukb9iBLWdX4mMn&t=19
Crank High Voltage isn't the Gremlins 2 of action movies, it's the Freddy Got Fingered of action movies.
>>220034219You don't think 1992 and 2009 were different?
I am still catching up on Voyager Season 1 review.. why do these frauds suddenly upload so fast?
The postal movie is also good edgekino
>Al-qaueda Al-qaedakek>>220034219it really was
>>220034464as different as 2009 and 2026? No.
Of course Jay gotta make a stink about white guy playing asian.
>>220034317They literally said that someone in the IT movie calling a kid a fag made sense
>>220034596One thing I’ve learned from RLM threads here over the years is that there’s a small handful of schizos that have literally invented a version of Mike and Jay that don’t actually exist and have continued to bitch about the imaginary views of those those fake versions for years now.
>>220034452Just because there's an erect hose penis in both films doesn't mean they're alike.
>Mike laughs at racist jokes, revealing his power levelOh no.... Reddit Commies won't like this...
>>220033139tfw you get banned for posting the copypasta nowadays
>>220034927>screenshotting your own tweets
did they confuse bai ling for tila tequila?
>>220035021White supremacy means never having to tell ethnics apart
>>220035021>In a 2009 interview, Bai claimed that she is from the Moon, where her grandmother lives. "I'm not really in reality. I'm in my own universe and my mind is a million miles somewhere else", she stated, further explaining: "Why I feel like I come from the Moon is because my mother told me I was found somewhere". She believes that when she looks up at the Moon, she can often spot her grandmother there, still living in her childhood home.No?
>>220035021Bai Ling being sexually harassed on the red carpet https://youtu.be/4ct75jP_agk
Crank 1/2 is hyper kino. I hope they come to the same conclusion.
>>220032921Why are these threads allowed? Genuinely curious. They're the most obvious shill threads on any board I've seen.
>>220035236if fishtank threads are allowed the youtubers that actually discuss movies should be allowed
>>220035202they did
>>220033251Mike would be the one to do that though. He came up with "the not gays" and cries about woman violence in Tarantino movies.
>>220035258I say neither should be allowed. What now?
>>220034927>Mike is normpilledliterally cannot stop being based
>>220034927god forbid anyone have a good time without a retarded faggot ruining it.
>>220035082imagine the sex
>>220035258Was it ever proved they pay to have those threads on /tv/? Because it makes no sense for a livestream not related to television or film whatsoever to have a thread let alone a permanent one.
>>220032921Finally, the long awaited return of Mike's cockney gangster voice
>>220033139What did that black guy say about ds9?
I never saw crank 2. Worth it?
>>220034581The funny part about is that the joke that it is David Caradine in yellow face again goes completely over Jay's head.
>>220032921kill yourself
unironically two of the best action movies of all time.
>>220035436Mike isn't ruining anything here.
>>220035599Jay gets overlooked because Mike says the more egregiously stupid things, but Jay is also a huge dummy.
>>220035552It's like the first but even sillier
>>220035552Absolutely, even if it is just for the kaiju fight alone.
>>220035472its more likely that the mods just like hyde and rlm and just don't give a shit. People who think the rules are serious business when its more to let jannys and mods clean up the board on occasion are just morons. The "racism outside of /b/" rule basically doesn't exist for anything other than letting mods give you a three day ban because you used some kind of slur.
I needed these guys to tell me that crank is insensitive and offensive and racist
>>220032921OMG IS THAT PLEB REDDIT MEMEA?
>>220035552It's the best (and really only) possible sequel they could've made.
>>220035670Mike has a bachelor's degree. Jay is a college dropout.
what a fucking pansy. yellowface for jux is too far for little jay, but excessive violence and depraved sex is hilarious. how much of a goy do you have to be
>>220036069>They should be okay with racism but condemn violence and sex.Why don't you watch some grandma in South Carolina review movies?
>>220036132I think he's saying they should be okay with both, dummy.
>>220036132its either all or nothing. its not real racism, its silly and objectively less depraved and evil than murder and sexual deviancy
>>220034927I'm really glad China is buying up australia. I hope they keep doing it and drive the white australian into a minority.
>>220035301This. Mike is a PC drone.
>unironically rewrites a scene>unironically gets offended at yellow face>no insights on the movie whatsoever>it's was so crazy!>it was so funny!These guys proved they are incapable of writing already, why are they suddenly tarantino when reviewing other people's movies?
>>220032921Better movies than Space Cop.
How about Crank Tews where he has to keep cranking it to Jim tews
>>220036370The movies on Best of the Worst are better than Space Cop, it's not a high bar to beat.
>>220036357Schizo post
The Crank movies were so visually unique and interestingI really wish for more from those guys, but it looks like they did that second Ghost Rider (SCRAAAAPING AT THE DOAH) and Gamer with Gerard Butler (which was also dogshit aside from the Dexter musical scene)What a letdown of a career
>>>/wsg/6134183
Jay is wearing a "Legendary Whitetails" brand flannel shirt in every video.I'm envious.
>>220035021No, but you're apparently confused that there is more than one psycho BPD asian in Hollywood so perhaps the ARR ROOK ARIKE came from inside your own head.
>>220036737>wearing Republican-coded brandvery problematic
>>220032921Why do these redditors have dedicated shills, and why aren't their threads deleted ASAP?
>>220035552Very. It's absolutely insane and the movie is better for it. Watch the BTS for more on the guerilla shoot and weird stunts they did: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIt-ZrbztiQAlso note this is another DVD success story where a so so theatrical movie took off like a rocket on DVD sales and that alone got them the sequel. Matt Demonic Retard spoke about that recently with his friend Alcohol Man, and how entire types of movies (usually the riskier more experimental ones) just died off because they couldn't get that sweet VHS or DVD sales train.
>>220036737Buck Camp?
chev chelios is the best name for an action movie lead
>>220033741watch themabsolute action kino
>>220036737
>>220036737>>220036803Threatening. Me. 'Cause I want 'em.Like, a Christmas or two ago, they were having some sale where they just said,>Like, all our regular flannel shirts? We've got, like, 40 different colors?>Buy anything on our site = buy any flannel shirt you want for $5. You don't have to stop at one; you can buy, like, 30 of our shirts at $5 a pop. 'Cause we feel like it.
>Ron Jeremy just showed upOf course
>>220036957Are you saying Jay depleted their inventory of men's size small flannel shirts during that sale?
>>220036897Yup. You should visit their site; they've got A LOT of genuinely high quality flannel shirts & jackets for genuinely cheap prices. They're, like, $15 during holidays.https://www.legendarywhitetails.com/product/mens-buck-camp-flannel-shirt-6464.html
>>220036998Must have.No joke, you can watch all their recent episodes; Jay is wearing a "Buck Camp" flannel shirt with courduroy lining from the "Legendary Whitetails" brand is every single one. Different colors, too.
>Dwight Yoakam is in "Crank 2"Really? Geez laweez.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0PNW4DXwJ0
>>220036504One of the guys did Happy! which is pretty similar to Crank. Would recommend
>>220032921
>>220037143>all their recent episodesYou mean like two of their last hundred videos
>>220034391the fact that she gets off on horse cock is pretty hot too
>>220034573Because you weren’t alive in the 90’s or at least fucking conscious. By 2009 kids started having phones and all kinds of shit. Fucking planking and shit.
>1:00:00>Jay: "well its gotta be like a white business man right?, that's the only villain you can have now"wtf i love jay now??
>>220037298Just another reason to love him
>>220036391anybody seen that jim tews guy?
>>220037951Jimmy, you can't just be coming in here looking all cute!
>>220032950The Crank movies are pure cinema.
>someone owns "the butler" copyright forcing a black guy to rename it to l"ee daniels the butler">mike uses redneck voice to impersonate the rights holderwhat did he mean by this?
reminder that this contrarian retard called mortal kombat (a film created on the same principles as crank) an overrated nostalgia film
>>220036202You mean they're bailing out Russia from their self-inflicted implosion and getting siberia in return.
>>220033048unless it's a safdie kino, in which case they refuse to ever speak about it for some reason.
>>220035058>Inceldom means you never need to leave the basement or interact with people.
>>220038122That's very generous to Mortal Kombat
>>220035725>its more likely that the mods just like hydeYeah, I'm not buying it.
>>220035725they usually just enforce that shit selectively if you beat them in an argument and they get butthurt.
>>220035734Yeah, you do seem to need a lot of guidance just to operate.
>>220036947How is he gonna take the nap chair to the conference?
>>220038265did you finally get around watching once upon a time in the west, jay?
>His head exploded and then that guy was brutally murdered and had his guts ripped out...awesome!>uhh sex and race jokes? geez thats crossing the line...it was a diffwrent time
>>220038800The difference is the violence is happening within the movie, David Carradine playing an Asian guy called Poon Dong is a choice made outside of the movie. The characters within the movie being racist is absolutely fine.
>>220038962There is nothing wrong with playing a different race other than your own Jay.Is Darth Vader blackfaced because James Earl Jones voices a white guy?
Mike is my daddy and Jay is my mommy
>>220038962eoesnt stop them from complaining about sex and race jokes within the story
>>220039015Give an example.
>>220039028Between 0:00:00 and 1:03:31
>>220032921nice, these are my favourite reddit content creators
>>220038074>what did he mean by this?the rights are owned by WB and he wasn't going to rub his hands together
>>220034927Why are chuds so easily triggered?
>>220039115Pick your favourite
Why is that all movies, shows, games, and entertainment were of higher quality during the "different time"?
>>220039467It was before Blumhouse and Marvel were successful. That was the beginning of the end.
>>220039424Might as well ask me to pick out a gunshot from Band of Brothers. Its literally the entire video start to end.
>>220039546What I'm seeing is that you can't pick anything because you're making it up. Would you really just go on the internet and lie anon?
Great, I can't wait for post-reddit /tv/ zoomers to start talking about these movies as if they're the greatest thing ever now.
>>220039467You couldn't just "buy a camera" and then "upload it to the internet in a couple minutes from home" back then.People used to produce products for profit, not "Likes."
Tranq 3 is unironically a good idea. Chev must enact crazy revenge but he must stay calm at all times or else his heart will blow up. This puts him at a disadvantage because he can't overexert himself, get angry, etc.
>>220033139Mike "Goin Rambo on the Sambo" Stoklasa
>>220039813I immediately pictured scenes where they just treat opioid addicts like actual mindless zombies that bite people and nobody acknowledges it as being weird
>>220034927Anybody who actually likes Norm would realize that animation is gay as fuck saccarhine bullshit that distorts Norm's life. Yeah the scenes where they magically have Seinfeld appear are fine so that the story moves along are fine but the shit with Andy Dick and Kinison are cringe and the Disney art style seems more sincere instead of ironic. Like yeah Norm went to Disneyworld with his kid so he didn't have a hateboner for them but I don't care. This animation treats facts of life as things to gawk at like Farley's drug addiction or to "recognize" just like RLM made fun of. So them not having this awareness is weird. That's why I fucking hate biopics. A theme park of a life. And adding the Disney/Bluth style makes it look uncanmy and not funny like it should as Norm parodying Disney or kids cartoons. And Norm's spiritual side being trotted out like some celebrity truthbombs is also cringe as fuck. Norm's just giving anecdotes and arguing people need a higher purpose because the world has a lot of unknown to it and that fact is not an excuse to sink into despair or despair over Kinison dying like that. The guy still was grasping onto life. And that isn't always pretty or easy to reconcile in your head.
CRANK = KINOOnly flaw no nudity from Amy
Rewatched both movies back to back with the gf a few months back. We had a lot of fun.By the end she was asking if there was a third one. So now she's in the same realm as us Crank-enjoyers who wish they'd do a third movie.
>>220032950Both Crank films are pure and utter kino you pleb
>>220035301The not gays would mean they like tits you moron
What would crank 3 be about?
>>220033286What?
>>220040412>What would crank 3 be about?It would be a zombie film where the main character is brought back from the dead and needs to keep feeding on human flesh constantly to survive and Amy Smart would come back to play a corpse that he has sex with.
>>220040417Just more autistic /tv/ e-celeb fanfic
>>220033251No, they only complained about muh heckin' problematic yellowface.
>>220040459You faggots get triggered by everything huh? They didn't even really complain about it that much. They're literally laughing about everything in these movies the whole way through.
>>220040459They're so dumb. East asians can lick my ass
>>220040496Is posting an objective fact "getting triggered"? Should I lie and say they didn't do that? You seem like the triggered one here, retard.
the best 2 movies ever made
jay was on fire this episode, lots of great jokes from him
>>220040412Crank 3DChev gets his third dimension stolen and has to get it backEverything in the movie is in 3D except him
>>220036835Neat they had that ghetto bullet-time rig and the promos for 28 years later was showing the same thing but with iPhones instead of handicams.
>>220040454It would be cool if she was naked and he ate her breasts aha
>>220032921Sad to see that this is how they go out after 30 years. RIP RLM lol
>>220039979didn't really read any of that but it's spelled saccharine and not saccarhine
the Crank movies are fucking dumb and I dont care about them. Oh, its stupid on purpose, fuck off. no better then the postal movie
>>220033139third reich mike strikes again
Based RLM doing videos about movies no one wants to hear about
>>220035388Now we can Fishtank threads. Then we'll talk about RLM.
>>220041835>no better then the postal movieExcept that they are considerably better than Postal for reasons you peanut brain is clearly oblivious to. I’m not sure if you’re an idiot 20 year old or a jaded 40 year old but either way, you’re a moron.
>>220042547both are retarded trash. I dont care if crank is well thought out, winking at the audience trash, its still just ugly trash to me
I watched Crank 2 in theaters on an eighth of mushrooms and I couldn't tell you what happened to this day, other than a godzilla fight between Mr Crank and some asian dude. I think. I don't even know.
>it's like a hetero-masculine John Waters movie
>>220037840what has changed culturally since 2009?
>>220039989>Only flaw no nudity from Amyher titty comes out when she's being fucked in front of the bus and her pussy is visible in the racecourse fuck
>>220043562Race. Black people were "cool" in 2009.Now they're incels (we're aware how much black women hate them thanks to social media) and their heroes are all disgraced rapists and you can talk about how fatigued you are with them on mainstream youtube channels
>>220036818seethe
>>220040412Chelios and Eve both need to keep their body temperature between 35 and 38 Celsius but it's winter outside and everyone's blasting the heat inside. It involves a lot of Amy Smart removing her clothes and rubbing ice on her nipples and them fucking to stay warm too.
>>220036912Where's the fucking, you can't have Chev FUCKING Chelios without the fucking>>220040412>Chevs been in a coma since the ending of Crank 2>he's somehow completely healing from his burns, Docs that fucking good>burnt and disfigured Ria and her goons steals his penis as revenge for the ending of 2>Chev has to get his penis back without getting turned on and bleeding to death>key point of the movie is revealing Chev knocked up Eve during the horse race fuckfest of Crank 2 and his teenage son (it's gonna be a son) helps him in the end>Eve kills Ria and accidentally destroys the penis in the process>Doc Miles comes in to save the day and give Cev an actual horse cock
>>220043954>it's the same cock that made Eve cum at the racecourse
>>220039358>Why are chuds so easily triggered?What is a woman?!!!FACT!!!
>>220043562Back in those days there was an actual monoculture of sorts. It was on its last days as people were already fragmenting with cable and the early internet. But stories like Obama asking for dijon mustard is something a lot of old timers will remember as an actual national news story because of how massive each of the cable news networks were. Now if you want news there's millions of sources. If you don't like a particular reporter you can look up his twitter handle and call him a nigger faggot and he'll call you a nazi bigot right back.
>>220033005>Current Hollywood>Old stuff and TubiI know what I'd choose
When I watched it originally I thought the godzilla scene was so fucking stupid it pissed me off
>>220043542Jay is becoming more and more problematic as of late.
Just looked up bai ling. She was over 40 years old in crank 2
is this episode still entertaining even if you haven't seen the Crank movies?
>>220032921I am glad to know my internet friends have recognized these cinematic masterpieces.
>>220046430and she was a real drunk and did a lot of drugs too, and she still could've passed for 30
>>220046660I'd say its more interesting if you have seen the movies but a really long time ago and just you now remember how insane they are.
>>220045979It's hard to believe, but Jay is dating a Milwaukee police officer.
>>220047386its believable
>>220048102Jay would make a very convincing background cop in Reno or Troupers
>>220048218Jay would end up on that Insta account that compiles videos of short police officers getting lifted, pushed around, or otherwise physically bullied by much larger civilians.
