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/tv/ - Television & Film


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>Hey mister! We are soaking wet horny girls, can we come inside pl0x?
>>
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>Implying I would even answer the door
>>
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i hide under my bed and watch them with my security cameras until they leave
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>alri bet
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>>220082914
Yeah I'm not falling for that bullshit again fuck off.
>>
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>We would chat for a bit, then I would invite Ana de Armas in, and the other one would go away
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>>220083157
Exactly. Unless you've got a felony warrant, piss off. I ain't answering for shit.
>>
>>220082914
I don't let judaism dictate my doings. Come in girls, you can have the spare rooms. I'll make food, and set you up with a movie. You don't need to tell me why you were out in the rain. I'm glad for your company. Wifi password is under the router. I'll log you into the PC. You can use some of my phone's if you want. Mind the erotic pictures of girls. I'm not in trouble with the cops so you can call them here if you need that. I hate cops and will protect you from them if there is any issue. Here's a map to the shops. Here's $500. I'll set you up with some camping stuff. Q couple of backpacks, plastic sheets, water bottles, toilet paper, sleeping bags and camping cots. I've got a solar heater. Take as long a shower or bath as you want. The pool isn't clean. If you want to stick around I'll get onto that. I'll get another licence and go on a road trip with you if you need that. If you've already got a licence you can have my old truck. I don't use it much. I'll leave for a few nights if that'll make you feel better. Pretty things can do no wrong. If the shrinks are after you and you think they'll come here I've got enough saved you can stay in another state at a rental or a backpackers, even a hotel. For a few months until they can't legally destroy your brain any more. So they can't confine you too. It you want to snuggle or get licked or fucked feel free. I'm easy. Even though I haven't done anything in decades. I don't have any diseases. I've been in a lot of fights. I can and will stick up for you and take the hits whoever the problems is. They and any army doesn't mean a fucking thing to me. I'm tougher. I've got more honour. And more history. I've saved the world. It'll be a pleasure to save your world. You're welcome to my clothes but I'd rather see you naked. Here's a set of keys. Relax. Your problems are now mine. You don't have any. Back to happy ever after, fantasy and all that. You're already doing me a favour seeing you.
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This thread is all virgins, they wouldn't know what to do with these two wet sluts>>220082914
>>220083157
>>220083216
>>220083246
>>220083908
>>220083957
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>>220084077
what do u do?!
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>>220084314
Fucking bend them over right there on porch and pee in their butts
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>>220082914
>"sorry I dont let strangers into my home. If you need help with your car I can call a tow service for you but you'll have to wait on the porch"
Thinking without your penis really is that easy
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>cum inside? I thought that was my line!
>>
the last time this happened to me they were fat chicks peddling jehova's witness literature
I didn't do anything courageous or noteworthy tho I just told them to beat it
>>
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>>220082914
>>
>>220084077
Listen, fag. I've had my shit broke in by SWAT. Had multiple police try to get in. You can go jerk off in your mom's basement.
I've shot people.
Real life ain't GTA or CoD.
Fucking fag.
>>
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>>220085513
you can go to prison with this ONE SIMPLE TRICK
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>>220082914
>tfw this basically happened to me except they were both hotter (one was a brunette not black-haired) and weren't total strangers; they kept sucking my dick and barely paid any attention to The Terminator
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>>220085805
>and barely paid any attention to The Terminator
um what?
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>>220082914
It's too good to be true at this point. At most I would let them inside the foyer to sit down while I called an uber for them while holstering my gun, with my hand on it. And I wouldn't let them out of my sight for a second.
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>>220085652
Yeah. Been there, done that.
Get back to me when you leave your momma's basement.
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>>220082914
>sup ladies?? cum..i mean, come inside.
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>>220085861
i was like you girls can relax and watch the movie if you want
and they said "no that's okay" and kept having sex with me
and I was like "a-alright y-you too"
good thing my pants were off or I would have spilled my spaghetti all over the bed
i hate women bros
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>>220083250
based nig
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>>220082914
nothing good ever comes from fucking with bitches like this.
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>>220082914
NOOOO ANA YOU CAN'T

DON'T TANTALIZE AND TEASE ME BY HOVERING THAT BARE PUSSY AND PERFECT SUPPLE ASS OVER MY FACE! I'M A MARRIED MAN GODDAMNIT! QUIT WIGGLING IT AROUND SHOWING ME EVERY INVITING CREVICE! THE SCENT IS WAFTING INTO MY NOSTRILS! T-THIS IS RAPE! I'M BEING RAPED! I'M INVOLUNTARILY BEING MADE THROBBING ERECT BY YOUR WAFTING HONEYPOT PHEROMONES! NOOOOOOOOOOO! DON'T SIT ON MY FACE AND FORCE FEED ME YOUR PICTURESQUELY PUFFY PERCOLATING PUSSY!

ARRGHHHHHHHH
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>>220082914
>I hate women
>Shuts door
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>>220087148
Do you think he got hard filming that?
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>>220083157
This I would look at the doorbell camera the cia use to surveillance me and just not asnwer the door as Im assuming id be jumped, plus im married and loyal.
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anyone saying they wouldn't bang is either gay or tranny
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>>220082914
No. *closes door*
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>>220087221
No, he bent his dick like he did with that spooln in The Matrix.



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