>14 years after the passing of Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin set out to retrace the first steps of their adventure. Meanwhile, Sam’s daughter, Elanor, has discovered a long-buried secret and is determined to uncover why the War of the Ring was very nearly lost before it even began,
>written by not JRR Tolkien but that anti-trump dancing fagwipeI expect dialog of the highest order
>>220215126>Sam’s daughterpass
and you thought the Hobbit trilogy was bad
>>220215126>after the passing of FrodoWhat?
>>220215126Frodo outlived them all. who the fuck wrote this siht
>>220215126when elves leave,magic becomes almost completely dead and irrelevant on MEa sequel makes no sense
>>220215178Aww, poor baby, did the comedian make fun of your pedo-cult leader again?
>>220215126>determined to uncover why the War of the Ring was very nearly lost before it even beganJust ask the 3 people you know who were there then?>>220215239He is allowed to pass into Valinor at the end of the story
>>220215178What would the pro Trump script look like? Maybe Numenor was where the wizards diddle Sam’s daughter
>>220215183What if she finds the War of the Ring???
>>220215239Room temp iq detected
>>220215126>Sam's daughter--Dropped. DOA.
>>220215251>Frodo outlived them all.No he didn't.
>>220215300>He is allowed to pass into Valinor at the end of the storySam ends up sailing there too to hang out with Frodo after his wife dies.
>>220215126I hope there's lots of singing and dancing.
>>220215338Yes, yours, retard. Frodo never "passed". Fucking moron.
>>220215288>Aww, poor baby, did the comedian make fun of your pedo-cult leader again?I don't think he even acknowledged the Biden videos.
>>220215239AFTER THE PASSING OF FRODO
>>220215439Who the fuck is that? That doesn't look like Donald Trump, the leader of your pedophile cult.
>>220215483That's Joe Biden, the former leader of your pedophile cult.
>>220215401>Yes, yours, retard. Frodo never "passed"Sure he did
>>220215501>the deranged cult member is imagining things againThat's probably why right-wingers are being cut off from their friends and family and being turned into social pariahs, huh?
>>220215126SOMEHOW...Sauron returned
>Elanor shuts Frodo's book and turns to the camera>"Wow, I'm sure glad Uncle Frodo and my dad toppled fascism. If only others were so brave...">long pause>fade to credits
>>220215523Sorry that your parents disowned you ever since you cut off your dick.
>>220215126Chat is this real
>>220215597If you can't talk to me like this in the real world then you shouldn't talk to me like this online, okay sweetie?
>>220215126>Sam, Merry, and Pippin set out to retrace the first steps of their adventureLame>Sam’s daughterLame and gay>discovered a long-buried secret and is determined to uncover why the War of the Ring was very nearly lost before it even beganLame, gay and retarded. Shan't be watching.
They're going to try and make The Lord of the Rings female focused by continuously making garbage slop like this till the heat death of the universe and never once succeed
>>220215523You cut your dick off, took the experimental mRNA vaccination, suck off other guys in truck stop bathrooms, and will end up in men's prison for being a pedophile.
>>220215645Again, imagine saying this in real life to an average-looking middle-aged white guy(me) while he laughs right in your face
>>220215630No one wants to talk to you at all.
>>220215624https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/stephen-colbert-writing-lord-of-the-rings-movie-1236546504/Yes
Polymarket odds Sam's daughter is played by a tranny?
>>220215670And yet you have a strange compulsion to reply to everything I say...And why are you right-wingers so obsessed with trannies, anyway? Something you wanna confess, buddy?
>>220215126I'm not watching this garbage. I've been burned too many times on all these soulless remakes and sequels and reboots.
>>220215670Rekt lol
>>220215340What's HER story!?
>>220215126>discovered a long-buried secret and is determined to uncover why the War of the Ring was very nearly lost before it even began
>member this thing you liked, but this time with girl bossthis shit is going to bomb so hard
>>220215691Colbert doesn't care, his one and only goal is to spread propaganda
>>220215483It's biden an actual pedophile, like his son also a pedophile
We need a scene where Elanor owns these crusty old male hobbits with logic and reason
>>220215401Frodo is not immortal, brainlet
I am ABSOLUTELY READY for the KINO that I will make, combining LOTR and The Ring of the Nibelung, using AI tools, that is actually mystical, esoteric and powerful in feeling and atmosphere, not a bland down-to-earth cheezy hamfisted comic book movie with endlessly homosexual camera movement, diluted by "art by democracy," just pure solo auteur KINO beyond all KINO. And then I will RAPE STEVEN COLBERT on THE MOON because I will STOW AWAY ON THE ROCKET SHIP and I'll RAPE STEVEN COLBERT ON THE MOON as the world enjoys my KINO. While you are MUNCING POPCORN I will be RAPING an elderly STEVEN COLBERT behind some FUTURISTIC LOOKING CRATES in a MOONBASE.
Why was Sauron getting the ring even a big deal? He already had the ring before and he lost to a human with a broken sword.
>>220215923>basing it on the operatic adaptation of the Song of the Nibelungs instead of the original
>>220215954its retarded, if he could become invisible with the invisibility ring then the good guys would just beat him using Good Guys Always Win magic at the last second, they'd throw flour on him or some shit and hit in the glowing spot that kills him when you shoot it
>>220215813>It's biden an actual pedophileSo the Republicans are going to arrest him then, right? Since you really believe that and you're not just saying it to score political points against the Democrats, right?
>>220215954Humans (at least the Numenoreans) were more powerful back then. And there were still a lot of Elves still in Middle Earth
>>220215965IN THIS THREAD WE RESPECT RICHARD VOGGNER
>>220215954because you touch yourself at night
>>220215126>why the War of the Ring was very nearly lost before it even began,And how a strong, independent womyn and her Orc husband was there to save the day!
>>220215954The previous defeat of Sauron was done with the combined Might of all the Men and Elves. Such an alliance doesn't exist anymore (thus, the last alliance). Also, the goal of the books/movies isn't to deny Sauron the Ring because he will win if he gets it, he is already winning. He will win by conventional conquest if he isn't stopped. Destroying the Ring is one last hail mary to stop him
>>220215998You can't arrest someone over his daughter's accusation in a diary, unless he's DRUMPF, in which case any and all evidenceless accusations make him guilty of course
>>220215288a leftist calling anyone else a cultist is true comedy
>>220215239He drowns on his way to Valinor in the books.
>>220216031>The previous defeat of Sauron was done with the combined Might of all the Men and ElvesNot reallyHe nearly fucked all of them up, but only lost because he got cocky and let some princeling cut the McGuffin off his hand with a magic sword.
>>220216040So yes, you are just trying to score political points against the Democrats, and you don't actually believe what you're sayingSo if you don't believe what you're saying, then why should I?
>>220216069You're describing Hackson's shitty adaptation now
Jackson's LotR was lightning in a bottle, good fucking luck
>>220216060And I'd say it right to your stupid fucking brainwashed face too!
>>220216069They were besieging him in Barad-Dur, anon. He only came out to fight personally because he was in a losing position and tried to throw it all into one last assault
>>220216060>democrats=leftAmerimutts and their latinx goons are delusional
let me tell youse guys a couple of 2 things:1. Frodo definitely DID die eventually. Mortal beings don't become immortal just because they pass into Valinor. Valinor is not heaven. In fact it's stated that they might have shorter lives there as the land is in disharmony with their mortal natures, but it was a great honor nonetheless to see the Undying Lands, as very few non-elves were ever permitted to do so.2. The "passing of Frodo" in this summary pretty clearly just refers to him passing into Valinor not actually dying, the timeline doesn't really make sense otherwise since Sam eventually went to Valinor too, and that'd have to be after this.
how hilarious would this be if this were the setup to a LOTR clip show.
>>220215688Gay
>>220216163>Mortal beings don't become immortal just because they pass into ValinorValar propaganda. If we go to Valinor and kill all the Valar we'd be immortal.
>>220216265Absolutely fucking based and Ar-Pharazon pilled
Elanor is a canon character who inherited the red book where the story of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings is written. Even in-canon it's implied that if the story of these books were to continue, it'd be the story of Elanor since she's the one writting it now.It's not propaganda, it's not feminism, it's the way Tolkien intended it to go.
how did this become the normie politics 101 thread?
>>220216163Yes, Valinor is heaven. Middle-earth is the First Circle of Purgatory, the outer ring, where the virtuous heathens live because they never knew grace. Like in Inferno, it’s full of noble figures: warriors, poets, kings. They fight for good, but they don’t even know what salvation really is. After being cast into Hell, Satan attempts to invade Purgatory itself. He sends his corrupted spirits to conquer the land where the unredeemed righteous dwell. The souls of Middle-earth are given a chance to prove their virtue in the face of evil. Gandalf is a Virgil figure, sent by a higher power to guide. Frodo, Bilbo, and the others who go West are those who’ve proven they're worthy of Heaven.
>>220216811chuds
>>220215126What's her vax-policy.
They should make a 1st age movie with numanor.
>>220216871The Shire is based on rural 19th century Britain, which is a time period where mass vaccinations were common so canonically, the Shire folks are vaxxed
>>220215126if they cast Sydney Sweeney to play Elanor then I will watch
>>220216916holy shit, chuds btfo AGAIN!
>>220216916That explains a lot honestly.
>>220217010Now that I think about it, they are all manlets. Why do we like this place?
>>220216871>>220215126>>220215178>>220215439>>220215813>>220216060Why do they cause Miggers to seethe so much?
>>220215954>human with a broken sword.He was 2v1'd by Noldorin and Numenorean royalty after losing in battle, and he still killed both of them.
>>220218458Your AI generated caricature of a disgusting chud looks exactly like John Oliver haahahahahaha talk about a fucking own goal
>>220215239Frodo died on the way to his home planet
>>220220239Lol time to see the optometrist sweetheart.
>>220215178>Sauron pouring all of his malice and cruelty into a magic ring is like a squirrel trying to make a sidewalk by pouring nuts instead of concrete.>[Uproarius audience laughter]>YOU'RE VERY CUTE, MR. SQUIRREL, BUT ANIMALS CAN'T MAKE SIDEWALKS!>[Building begins shaking as the live audience laughs and applauds for several uninterrupted minutes]
>>220218458why would a jew be mad while watching colbert? he'd be clapping or rubbing his hands together saying >yes goyim!! consume the slop!!
shan't be watching
