>ITT: Post ideas for movies that you would love to see get made, but have zero chance of doing so.Make a whole movie that is a highly fictionalised (to the point of satire) biopic of a real person from hundreds of years in the future.So for example a Michael Jackson biopic from 2256 where the Jackson 5 don't exist, he invents the moonwalk at the age of 4, Bubbles is Janet Jackson, he switches from black to white after a rap battle with his dad ends in an explosion, he starts a revolutionary movement of children where Kevin (not Culkin, Kevin) is his second-in-command and the events of Home Alone are canonical, Neverland is a fortress of children mixed up with Peter Pan lore, he goes to war with (((the press))) because of their propaganda, single-handedly ends all wars with his music and saves the planet from climate change, then finally gets assassinated by a secret agent doctor via Kung Jew where the movie leaves sincere ambiguity on his status as a messiah and whether or not he really died.Pic unrelated
that's pretty much the Weird Al movie
>>220222739>Speculative Folk Loresounds based
A historical drama inspired by the Children's Crusade of the early 13th century. A boy receives a vision to go to Jerusalem, and he preaches in the streets to gather other children as disciples who in turn gather hundreds more to their cause. It follows a format of innocence > hard reality > innocence. The beginning is littered with fervor and faith (but not in a cynical way), but this dissolves to realism as many children get kidnapped by Italian slavers, and numerous others turn back. Those who are left make the journey by sea, and here, it turns into a more conventional coming-of-age story albeit a gritty one. Only a handful of the children survive, but they do reach Jerusalem. It's left unclear on the fates of the children, but it ends on a hopeful note as the main character never wanted to conquer, just reach Jerusalem and dedicate his life to live like the apostles.
Hyper-masculine action movie, marketed as parody but played dead straight (no comedy besides Arnie-like one-liners), the comedy only really comes from the parody itself. Think something like a live action Adventures of Lunk crossed with Conan and Fist of the North Star. The machismo is ridiculous to the point of funny, but more importantly it's super badass. The point is that even though it's marketed as parody, that's secretly not the intention, it's just the only way you'd get something like it made. You only have to look at the current state of things and the way youtube is flooded with fight animations to know there's an audience of a whole generation of action-starved young men, crying out for some OTT hyper-violence.Think Conan meets Sisu meets Kung Fury meets Lunk meets Mortal Kombat meets body horror>Why yes the protagonist did just hook his meaty fingers into that guys eye sockets, gripped the back of his cheekbones and literally ripped off the front of his skull. Got a problem with that?
>>220223066Imagine Hollywood greenlighting anything about the crusades that shows them in a positive or even sympathetic light. They wouldn't even have a movie about the crusades because they don't want the normies knowing that the holocaust wasn't exactly a one-time thing.
Cryptid battles in the spirit of kaiju monster fights, only instead of Gian lizards fighting cyber chickens I want gorey grudge matches between a wendigo and a Bigfoot while Mothman dogfights a thunderbird in the skies above.
>>220223211At Kaiju-scale, or monster-scale (like a large bear or something)?
