>TWO shots of vodka
>>220353636During The Next Food Network Star, one of their programmers said a heavy contingent of their viewership were lonely men and while she never outright named Sandra Dee it was pretty fucking obvious who she was talking aboutBitch could not cook to save her life
>>220353636>Alcoholic>Blonde>MilfSign me up!
Those were semi automatic bottles. So it was 2 pulls of the trigger, it was just burst fire. God I hate foreigners.
she's still an alkie and she's still hot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPLmHj5gCBg
>>220353666>one of their programmers said a heavy contingent of their viewership were lonely men and while she never outright named Sandra Dee it was pretty fucking obvious who she was talking aboutsure it wasn't giada?
>>220353636TWO shots of vodka, Jeremy? That's insane?
>>220353636that sexy momma will let you do the most disgusting shit to her
this is my standard shot at a local dive bar
>>220353636>TWO shots of vodkatwo? make it three
>>220353918I know this lady from Beat Off Bobby Flay.
is this the thread?
>>220354020VOD-KA AINT GOT SHIT ON ME
>>220354020Ladies and gentlemen, we are cleared for takeoff.
>>220353666Yes but she does the MILF thing very well. The general concept of her show was fine. Not everything needs to be made from scratch so a show for more realistic meal prep with some pre-made ingredients would be good for some people. Unfortunately the actual implementation of her show was poor. But it got viewership for other reasons, so it continued.
Is this the thread?
>>220353918Giada is pure fantasy. Sandra Lee is the alcoholic divorcee down the street who comes over to do butt stuff.
>TWO shots of milk
>>220353918The episodes where she's chopping veggies and those tits are just bouncing.Pure kino.
>>220354100It is now
For me, it's Nigella.
That’s pretty close to two shotsI don’t understand why people think this is funny unless they’ve never poured a shot before
>>220353918I miss the days when grown ass women did arts and crafts for fun. Reminds me of my aunts from the early 2000s.
>>220354580Anon... have a seat
>>220354580That's like 8 shots of vodka m8
>>220354046Yes
>>220354046>>220354100>>220354549>>220355992I've been drinking while "working" from home all week.
>>220353666The more wholesome boomer version of an AI wife
>>220355611you can count it from the surface of the vodka through the bottle. that's pretty close to two
Well, I ain't never been the Barbie doll typeNo, I can't swig that sweet Champagne, I'd rather drink beer all nightIn a tavern or in a honky-tonk or on a four-wheel drive tailgateI've got posters on my wall of Skynyrd, Kid, and StraitSome people look down on me, but I don't give a ripI'll stand barefooted in my own front yard with a baby on my hip'Cause I'm a redneck woman, I ain't no high class broadI'm just a product of my raising, I say, "Hey y'all" and "Yee-haw"And I keep my Christmas lights on, on my front porch all year longAnd I know all the words to every Charlie Daniels songSo here's to all my sisters out there keeping it countryLet me get a big "hell yeah" from the redneck girls like meHell yeah! (Hell yeah!)Victoria's Secret, well, their stuff's real niceOh, but I can buy the same damn thing on a Walmart shelf half priceAnd still look sexy, just as sexy as those models on TVNo, I don't need no designer tag to make my man want meYou might think I'm trashy, a little too hardcoreBut in my neck of the woods, I'm just the girl next doorHey, I'm a redneck woman, I ain't no high class broadI'm just a product of my raising, I say, "Hey y'all" and "Yee-haw"And I keep my Christmas lights on, on my front porch all year longAnd I know all the words to every Tanya Tucker songSo here's to all my sisters out there keeping it countryLet me get a big "hell yeah" from the redneck girls like meHell yeah! (Hell yeah!)I'm a redneck woman, I ain't no high class broadI'm just a product of my raising, and I say, "Hey y'all" and "Yee-haw"And I keep my Christmas lights on, on my front porch all year longAnd I know all the words to every ol' Bocephus songSo here's to all my sisters out there keeping it countryLet me get a big "hell yeah" from the redneck girls like me (hell yeah!)Hell yeah! (Hell yeah!)Hell yeah! (Hell yeah!)I said, hell yeah!Songwriters: John Rich / Gretchen WilsonRedneck Woman lyrics ©
Looks like 2 shots, maybe 2 and a half to me. Do the zoom zooms never pour spirits or something?
>>220354580>unless they’ve never poured a shot beforeTwo shots is a feel
>>220354046Why Danes look so ugly compared to Swedes and Norwegian?
>>220354585They still do that sort of thing plenty though. Not my fault you don’t know any women who aren’t immediate family members
>>220357522>countUh.
>>220354585Women love arts and crafts though. Almost every womyn I've known has had a sewing machine and various hobbies like scrapbooking and shit.
>>220353636FILL IT UP TO THE TOPIT'S NOT THERE YETYOU FUCKING BITCH TILT THAT FUCKING BOTTLECUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT
>>220353840>hotYou should book an appointment with an optometrist
>>220354191Don't mind if I drink from the source.
>>220353636druk
>>220353918poast moar
>>220356967holy shit, bbc bros were right again. the memes write themselvews
Julia Child was the original drunken tv chef. Graham Kerr was a classic oiler until he "found god".Martha Stewart was hot well into her 60s and never turned down a drink.Sandra is the qvveen of the drinking gals. She breaks out the red sweater for special occasions.
>>220354580its more like 4 shots if you wanna know the truth about it
>>220354046Why does janny hate /thethread/ so fucking much? It's like 50% on topic which is pretty good for this board
>>220353840he is drunk isn't he
>>220357999They're a bit rougher around the edges looks wise but they're cooler and less cucked than sw*des or norw*gians
>>220353636For me its the smoothie maker family reunion with the English husband and the bald fat one is hungover
Anyone seen Inadmissible Evidence starring Nicol Williamson(Merlin from Excalibur)?>The film follows a couple of days in the life of Bill Maitland, a 39-year-old Englishman who is head of small law firm in London and is tortured by his inadequacies as a lawyer, as an employer, as a husband, as a father, as a friend (he has none) and as a lover (for though women succumb quickly to him, he cannot maintain a relationship). Punctuated by interior monologues and imagined scenes, it shows him being abandoned by everybody as they come to realise that they cannot rely on him.He starts the day with cocktail of vodka, tomato juice and a raw egg.
>>220360555>danes>part of the EU>less cucked than NorwayHva?
>>220353736>Whored herself out to the desert people and even converted to j*daism to please her vile Hebraic pimp
>>220360556Magic Bullet
>>220353918I'd cook her rigatoni, if you nomsayin.
>>220360814She Will Bake Your Cock!
>>220354108>Sandra Lee is the alcoholic divorcee down the street who comes over to do butt stuff.I would like to submit that Rachel Ray was also this
>>220353666I used to love that show, sad that they just blatantly decided not to do anything with the recent winners>you win your very own show on Food Network! well at a pre-determined time when it's strategic to give you your own show>in the meantime here's a spot as a guest judge on our other shows
>>220353636Seems like more than two shots.
>>220353840she posted a pic when announced she had brain cancer or something and was wearing a top that made it easy to gander at her sweater puppies
>>220353636>>>/wsg/6143165
>>220360245Actual /tv/ anons having fun.If it can't get deleted it MUST be derailed by someone pretending to be a militant teetotaler.
>>220353636that's a small amount of vodka for an average sized person
>>220353636That’s about 2 shots, what’s the problem?
>>220353636She was having a rough morning.
>>220362105Closer to four.
>>220362594Three at the most.
>>220362594Maybe in Pussyfaggotville or wherever you're from.
>>220362638We prefer the name Ciudad Chuchachomo, thank you.
>>220360245why can't those retards just make a blue /b/?
>>220362822/tv/ is blue /b/.
this the bread?
>>220362105Almost 7 shots of vodka
>>220362703That has a real nice ring to it
>>220363032Hello, old friend.
>>220353636my breakfast recipe (fuck you)
>>220363052Six at the most.
>>220363052>>220363342EIGHT FUCKIN' WHISKEY SOURS
can we just post /druk/ stories ffs
>>220362918All you would have to do to fix /b/ is remove porn and politics threads. If there exists a board dedicated to it, then it is not “random”.
>>220363391>All you would have to do to fix /b/I didn't even know it was broken!
>>220363378Sure.When I was bartending I once had a threesome with two married broads in their 50s. They were in town for some conference. They weren't anything to write home about. They sat at my bar all night ordering shots named after chocolate bars. Snickers, Crispy Crunch, etc. All of them were Bailey's + 1 or 2 or other liquors and tasted just like their namesake.Every time they got another round they would order me a third shot of whatever they were getting.Eventually I secured an invite back to their hotel room up the street and it was on. They waited up until 2:30am texting me how much longer I would be. The hotter one was less into it and was obviously trying to do her friend a favor.I went back the next morning and fucked the ugly one again.WHAT A LIFE
>>220363615>I went back the next morning and fucked the ugly one again.based. I fucked a couple uggos when trashed, not at the same time. Honestly I regretted in the next day though.
>>220353636That clip used to make me crack up as a teen.
>>220363866What's the regret? I love the power dynamic. Dick her down properly and she'll put up with any amount of abuse.
>>220364297Just felt a bit gross. I literally thought the night before "She's not attractive, but real likes me, so I could drink this tequila and go for it" idk, maybe I don't really regret it lol.
>>220361965>>>/wsg/6143224
>>220354075Someone in another thread made a good point that if he didn't drink and was going through withdrawals that he would never have been able to pull off what he did. The alcohol relaxed him enough to pull off the complicated Maneuvers that he needed to do. Sober people who have tried to replicate the maneuver end up slamming into the ground.
>>220363032she could have gotten twice as much kamchatka at that price
>>220364425Based uggo fucker.
>>220356944Based Withnail poster
my doctor said i can't drink alcohol anymore because i could get cirrhosis, stopped drinking 5 years ago, take care of yourself
>>220360555> less cucked than sw*des not a high bar, though, is it?
I don't really understand not being an alcoholic. I mean I get the liver stuff and I am trying to cut down to only the weekend. But being sober is just fucking miserable. If I got some "alcohol allergy" diagnosed tomorrow, I'd probably just fucking kill myself right away.
>>220358569She is "relatively not hideous for 60" is what bro meant to type.
>>220354046Yes it is. Welcome home friend
>>220354046>be me>working part time while living at home>mom feeds me real food and doesn't really let me drink much>finally get a job in another city and move thereAnd now I'm a full blown alkie who eats fast food like 4 days a week lol.
Autistic zoomer here, can you just go to a bar late at night, go talk to a random woman and then put your penis into her vagina? Is this a real thing?
>>220366100Yes, but not if you're autistic, and it greatly helps if you're good looking.t. only did that few times, not an expert, but good looking
>>220353918I want to give Jade a little sister.
>>220366253I think I used to be reasonably good looking before genetics put this weird flat hairless thing on the top of my head. So I guess it might be too late now.
For me, it was this cocktail that she made with a "friend," and they were subtly sniping at each other the entire time>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPsvHbxpHjM
>>220353918She looks like she's probably about 5'2 and they have her standing on a box so she can clear the counter
>>220353636that's nothing
>>220353636Reminds me of my grandma when I was a kid. She said her doctor told her she was only allowed ONE drink a night, nothing more. So she filled her glass to the rim with straight vodka.
Guys I can't get through certain days without getting drunk, like I will start chugging down extra alcohol beer before doing shit, is this normal? I sneaked into the toilets just to do some shots at work. I swear everyone loves me and everyone is happy with me at work, but everything is so hard.
>>220366574Rest in peace, king.
>>220366574I miss him, bros.
>>220366664it just seems like everyone loves you because you're drunk, probably.
>>220366574How much was he drinking? Nightly? Never watched him while alive. He died of alco related something right?
>>220366664Do you live yourself, that's the question
I just drank a 12 pack last night. This thread makes me want to go for another
>>220367628This really is a big problem with "addiction awareness". It literally just reminds you of how good it feels and the supposed bad parts you just go "eh I can probably deal with it".
>>220366664Likely they know you do that stuff and they talk about it behind your back. Also likely that it would be obvious to you that they know if you weren't so drunk
>>220353918Giada a cute. No wonder her dad raped her every night for a period of four years.
>>220353636What does vodka even do?
>>220366664when you get called down to hr remember alcoholism counts as a disability
>>220367628do it bro, at least a 6
>>220353918Wasn't she raped?
>>220366269Jade's been a full blown Beastie for like 2-3 years now and Giada is practically a ghoul
I was sober for 11 years straight, man
>>220368548Giada looks more like her mother. her sister Eloise looks more like her dad.
>>220368985>beastieI typed ROASTIE, gay ass autocorrect.
>>220368595Reduces your radiation level.
>>220369125She could fill in for MCA.
>>220368595It's a potion you drink to time travel a few hours into the future, but time travel can make you sick, so be careful.
>>220368595makes you vomit, sleep poorly, and be sick the next day
>>220369601What’s it like to have a giant pussy?
>>220353666nah that 100% was giada especially her early seasons where she made grim "healthy" italian with boneless turkey breast and shit (my brother prime example watched her for her titties when between gfs) before getting her shit togethersandra was for the stay at home moms who thought they couldn't pull off what the other tv chefs made and was too lazy or busy for trying rachel ray or paula deen's stuff
>>220370403
>>220368922yeah by her director father
>>220370403Nta but I imagine it's probably great
>>220370809What are some advantages of having a giant pussy?
>>220360318how come downing drinks in the shower feels wrong(but also so good) while drinking on the can feels perfectly fine. One of lifes little mysteries I guess.
>>220370928Big onlyfans $$$Free extra storage on long flights Fun with echoes
alcoholfags = christlarpersweedbros = atheists
>>220357979nice bars use a jigger
based
>>220371474Where I'm from bars don't allow jiggers inside.
>>220371089>Free extra storageI know a couple that goes to EDM festivals. The woman hides their drug supply up her snatch in a plastic container when they go through the security line.
>>220370403damn anon, I feel rekt
>>220365729Tbqh alcohol is fun and all but if you get kinda fucked up with k it's actually so much more comfy and with no hangover
How we doin' tonight boys?
I haven't had a drink for three weeks.
>>220373964You should probably have a drink to celebrate.
>>220354549the one drink my dad taught was to mix whiskey and coca-cola
>>220374077My dad would open beer bottles with his eyes like Vinny Jones in Eurotrip, years before the movie came out.We shall never see his like again, and may God rest his soul.
>>220373937It's over for me. I just finally graduated from half a handle to an entire handle a day. I can only sleep 3-4 hours at a time and have to get up for a handful of shots to quit shaking. Stopping sounds nice but with the kindling effect I'm absolutely terrified of the withdrawals again.
>>220374378You need to taper
>>220374378>an entire handle a dayThat is simply an absurd amount it's unbelievable unless you're the size of Andre the Giant.My gf and I need a 40 a day if we're both going to get properly drunk and that includes leftovers for the next morning.
>>220362080Bob please no
>>220374414I wish it was impossible but I am 6 4 - 300 lbs and irish. Here's the empties for the week so far. Trash day is Monday.
>>220374494you gotta slow down man you will kill yourself drinking like that
>>220374538That may be the goal at this point. I'm almost 40, been working for the state for over 20 years, decided to tell everyone to fuck themselves and cash out my retirement and savings and live comfy till I'm 50. If I'm still alive then, I'll figure it out where to go from there. I'm vocal about this decision. Friends are not happy. They want me in their life longer but that's just selfish of them.
>>220374604>I'm almost 40, been working for the state for over 20 years, decided to tell everyone to fuck themselves and cash out my retirement and savings and live comfy till I'm 50.I'm 58, been working for the state for 27 years and don't intend to retire unless my job turns to shit
>>220357999>Swedes and Norwegianpig nosed orange animals without any historical achievements
>>220374494>I am 6 4 - 300 lbsOkay that makes a bit more sense. But damn that must be expensive. I'm a leaf. A handle per day would be about $400 per week, around $20,000 per year.
>>220374604There's much less painful ways to kill yourself. Not that you should but whatever.I also got to the point of drinking a handle a day. Luckily, it was during a bender and when I recovered I could see what I've done and began to make a change. It wasn't easy and I'm still an alcoholic (obviously) but it's still better than fatal organ failure.
>>220371745*shudders* repulsive creatures
>>220374494I go for half a handle when on a bender. Svedka 100 proof for 17.99. A handle a day is suicide.
>>220374768I've heard others say the same.
>>220358089>>220358140Yeah but I bet they don't do it for other people. Any woman that's into arts and crafts today is probably a shut-in homebody.
>>220374668>don't intend to retireYeah, that used to be me too. But I got sick of sacrificing my well being for others. One day no one showed up for a meeting I worked my ass off to prepare during my "time off" and I just snapped. >>220374693The big chain liquor stores have a deal where if you buy 6 or more you get them for around $11. I'll go clean them out, buying 12 at a time. The cashiers in my town all hate me. So just under 300 a month I guess. That's still a car payment. Never really considered that.>>220374735>>220374792>much less painful ways to kill yourselfI keep my gun in the next drawer, loaded and ready to go. When the organs all go, I'm not riding it out.
Thanks for the kind words everyone. I don't want to keep shitting up the thread with blogposts so I'm going to drink some more and sleep for a few hours.My advice for everyone: please, please. Stop while you can before it's too late. I love you so much. Goodnight.
I drank the peanut butter whiskey(Just a stronger, slightly less creamy Bailey's)
Oh what's the bloody point?
>>220374494>fellow platinum enjoyerBASED (even if you should slow it down a bit big guy). As a 6 3 300 lb bastard myself, i've been chugging down platinum for a fuckin decade. my college dorm had a ton of drawers full of bottles just like that pic. hell, a few weeks ago my local grocery store had a deal where you could buy platinum handles for five bucks each. crazy shit. gods gift to vodka lovers. i hope you find happiness though real talk m8
>>220368548Oh yeah. Absolutely anon. No wonder. There was just no other possible reaction to her existence. Guess it’s time to rape my daughter again, night everybody!
>>220366650based, My nan used to drink two cans of Millers every night
>>220374494>Trash dayCan't you put them in the recycling instead?
I used to drink 200-300ml every nighton days off when I decided to rest I could do a literI started fasting 2-3 days then eating one day then fasting again, and its so fucking retarded cus its basically cheating, I am loosing weight yet getting shitfaced
>>220376667Nice little peek at the sole/arch bit there lol.
>>220369058Based 12 year old.
>>220354585it has come back a lot after covid
>>220353636Vodka does nothing for me anymore.
I'm 100 days sober, lads. Actually 101 now. Honestly speaking I do not feel better at all, but I think I avoided an early death, so.
>>220376667>I used to drink 200-300ml every night>on days off when I decided to rest I could do a literSame. Except instead of liquor its loads of hot, sticky cum for Anya despite me being a straight man.
KWAB
>>220353636>>220353666>>220353736>MMMMM DICKhttps://youtu.be/qLXIeNHRTQw?si=tsRuQOhXF7PqORW5
>>220374378I drank a handle tonight. I need another.
>>220363032Once you arrive at the point where you buy two or more bottles of vodka you shouldn't really react like that, your sense of shame is just fucking gone at that pointt. alcoholic
I've consistently drank about 6 or so beers once a week for 15 years and never felt the need to go beyond that. I don't get how you reach the point of chugging entire bottles of spirits.
>>220375384
>>220365729There isn't one. I just stopped drinking at some point since I became a fat fuck over the years and wanted to do something about it. It's not like I really enjoy being sober either. The only thing that's nice about it is that your stamina is less fucked up when your body doesn't have to recover from alcohol all the fucking time.
>>220369601Just drink some fucking water you retard
>>220377019Eventually you just stop caring. That's pretty much how it is with everything.
>>220376958thats a nice picture, can I save it?
>>220369601lmao pussy
>>220376500My family sees them when they're in the recycling. If I put them in the trash bags and cover them with tissues and leftovers nobody has to know how much I actually drink.>>220376123Happy wishes.. Thanks man. I'm up again to ward the shakes off.Please stop drinking now any anons that think it might negatively impact your life. It only gets worse. Please believe me.
>>220376970>This many half litres of Captain Morgan.Pretty rich alkie living in those walls
>>220377035You are a good fren and I appreciate you
>>220377013That feel when you have like a two hour window when you're sober enough to drive and the withdrawals haven't started yet so you don't have a seizure on the way to the convince store. It feels so fucking good to rest at that time though.
>>220377287Haha knock yourself man. Its all yours.
> be me> drink> be miserable> don't drink> be miserableStarting to think it really doesn't matter lads
>>220377549You have to stop drinking for months before you stop being miserable. Going one week without alcohol isn't going to cut it
>>220377549That was me. I heard voices and music in the fans and shit nonstop. I'd daydream every time I closed my eyes. And my body hurt so bad constantly. I couldn't eat or sleep. And I'd shit myself. While sober? Really. Just figured being sober wasn't worth it anymore.
>>220377692I would argue that going through withdrawal symptoms does not really count as being sober. It actually takes time
Can't wait to get out of work, have a few rounds and play some vidya.
>>220353918I keep hearing people on /ck/ refer to Giada as the Blowjob Queen. Did she do a video or something? Or is that just a nickname her dad gave her? My dick needs answers.
They were right.I need a certain amount of booze on my not to dread everything and eveyrone.
>>220353736Alcoholics smell terrible. It's an odor you can't shower away, it perpetually exudes from their pores. Your whole bed will stink like it. And it's not a sexy smell like a woman's dirty pussy or asshole sometimes is, it is more like the smell of an infected wound.
>>220354046WHAT A LIFE
>>220357999You think Mads is ugly? Wtf man are you gay
>>220356944>i've only had a few ales
>>220379885>a few small beers
>>220368595It borrows happenis from the following day
>>220380254>happenisEither ESL or you have e drank yourself straight retarded.
>>220363032God this bitch is so fugly.
>>220380368I think she's cute in a weird way.
>>220366917drinking about 1 1/2 bottles of those gallon Fleischmann's Vodka jugseating room temp food that often included seafood sometimes left out for like 3 hours sometimes just overnight always including country crock original and bacon up (which is just pure bacon grease in a container)always smoking pipe tobacco in hand rolled cigarettes, 'prescription' marijuana, or duster Clint confirmed he died of a heart attack
>>220381222Checked. Sounds like living the dream to this old chunk of coal.
>>220376970How did they all get inside the walls?
