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>>220421598

>>220421598
It would be so nice to have someone to cuddle up and watch movies and TV shows with, I really do envy people in happy loving relationships. Unfortunately it's something I may never get to experience ;_;

I never wanted to be around people. Then I entered a situation where I seriously had to ask myself whether I do want to be around people and the answer is still kinda no.

>>220421793
>>220421811
Duality

>>220421722
mirin' a bit, bro looking vascular

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>gf

>>220421598
There were only 3 times we actually watched anything together. When she was staying at her mothers, we streamed a season of 13 Reasons Why together. Then the first time I dropped acid, we got high and watched I think either the 2nd or 3rd season of 13 Reasons Why together. The 3rd thing I remember watching with her was when she came over to my apartment and cooked for me. We watched some random documentary about Barbie dolls and how Barbie exploded in popularity. We mostly just watched Youtube shit or smoked weed and listened to music together. I can't lie I kinda miss her. She also wasn't one of those annoying chicks that constantly asks you questions...whats that...whos that...why is he doing this....where are they going. I can't stand chicks like that.

>>220422088
was she retarded inb4 all women are
or was it your typical i want attention and interactions stuff

>>220422088
What advice could you give to someone who's about to do LSD for the first time, anon?
t. i've done 10g of dried psilocibyne mushrooms not a total rookie

>>220421598
I watch stuff with my husband

>>220422088
>She also wasn't one of those annoying chicks that constantly asks you questions...whats that...whos that...why is he doing this....where are they going. I can't stand chicks like that.

My gf was the opposite. When a movie ended and there were ambiguities or whatever, or if it was an artsy movie where the whole thing was open for interpretation, she just insisted that she knew the meaning behind everything, and there was no discussion or interest in my opinion. It is what it is. She was also extremely critical of movies (and things in general outside of movies). We watched Arctic with the Danish guy actor in it and I said something like "why didn't he just....?" and she then just said how stupid the character was for various reasons. It was kind of funny, but when it extended to real life I felt unappreciated sometimes. Another time we watched Lilya 4-Ever and when Lilya falls in the puddle of muddy water when her mom leaves her behind she just laughed and said it was so predictable, but she had tears in her eyes at the end of the movie. I think it was the only time I saw her cry. She was a tough girl, had lived in poverty etc so I think it made her tougher than me, but there was a softness to her which I feel bad for hurting by not being the guy she needed in the end.

>>220421793
If it's any consolation, I had obsessions about cuddling during movies or sleeping in bed at night for my entire young life. Then I got my first girlfriend at 26 and did all those things for like a week and then hated it. It's sticky, boney, and entrapping.

I'm single once again, and while there are a lot of things I miss about having a girlfriend, I enjoy not cuddling and waking up in a bed without another organism beside me to make noise, touch me or generate heat

>>220422241
Do you have autism?

It's so nice to wake up in a large bed with your girlfriend under the blankets beside you, especially if you've passed the tryhard phase and she is comfortable letting you see her without makeup.

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>>220421598
>alone or with your girlfriend?

When she's a girlfriend, the movie is there to fuck. When she's a wife, the movie is there to make her fall asleep. No in between unless we're talking about fat girls.

>>220422348
What about trans girls?

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None of the girls i dated actually watched an entire movie with me.
You really wanna show them something you like and they just get on your dick after 15 minutes, make sure you nut in them and fall asleep afterwards.

>>220422164
She was BPD and she didn't take meds because she said they turned her into someone else completely. She also didn't tell me this until like 7-8 months into the relationship.
>>220422170
Honestly everyone's first time is different. I honestly don't remember how many ugs I did my first time but she only gave me one tab. It was really some life changing shit. The way I felt, I imagine is how people felt the first time they did heroin or cocaine or something. I didn't feel it at first. We kinda got into an argument because I was thinking maybe she got bullshit and someone scammed her and she threw an absolute fit at me over it....then that shit started to creep up on me. It's like going up a rollercoaster....and you're slowly seeing that edge that you're about to drop over is the only way I can describe it...except that feeling lasted for about 15-30 minutes. Then it just hit me. We left her car and went upstairs. We watched TV for a while but then I turned it off and we just cuddled in bed in silence....and it was a crazy experience. My entire body just solidified...like when Neo turned into metal/glass in the Matrix or like Alex Mack when she turned into that liquid metal shit. Like it literally felt like I was turning into stone. Then it felt like I was being reborn or some shit. She was holding and it was honestly the safest I've ever felt in my life...like being back in your mom's womb or some shit. I didn't even realize or noticed that I was crying or even why I was but it was one of the greatest feelings I've ever had. And then we went downstairs to get food. We were sitting outside and 2 dudes I knew from my building was out there laughing and talking and for some reason I just got super insecure, the entire time I thought they were laughing at me for some reason. Eventually we went back upstairs and I just sorta mellow'd out after that. I've been chasing that feeling ever since. I've dropped acid and done shrooms a bunch of times after that.
cont

>>220421598
with my transexual girlfriend who has a penis

>>220422170
Funnily enough my first time doing shrooms was also with her too. As for advice? Just enjoy the ride man. That first trip is going to be special as fuck, so I would say to do it with someone you truly like and trust. Or do it alone but do not waste it doing it with some random or someone you don't really fuck with like that. Also, don't worry about any of the weird shit people say not to do...I've done it, while off like a fucking 10 strip. Looked at myself in the mirror. Looked at crazy shit. Got emotional. All the shit they claim you shouldn't do or you'll go insane, I did and nothing bad happen to me...the only caution I'll give you is that if you're predisoposed to mental illness or some shit then you should probably take it easy. I dealt with depression when I was younger but outside of that no mental illnesses and I was fine. After your first couple trips it just become a really nice high. You'll get this one feeling, where it feels like you're cumming over and over and over again...just waves of euphoria like you're fucking nutting hard as fuck...but you're not...like electricity just shooting through your spinal cord...it's amazing as fuck. Also you might also get terrible farts. Every now and then I'd get awful fucking farts. Also, make sure you have at least 12-14 hours because YOU WILL NOT be going to sleep at all while on that shit. So don't stay up all night and then do it. Make sure you're well rested and hydrated.
>>220422230
Yeah lucky I never had that trouble with my ex. She was bat shit insane but also really chill when she wasn't going crazy. We'd just get high and listen to music. She was the type of chick that I could just sit there in silence with and neither of us need to say anything. Just get high and just enjoy the peace and quiet. She was also really fucking smart too so I liked that about her as well.

>>220422538
Who broke up the relationship?

>>220422596
The first time? She did. The 2nd time I did. Then we kinda were just on and off, fucking each other, hanging out, etc. Basically together but not actually together. Despite my feelings, I'm not capable of being friends with her. So if we're not going to be together, I'd rather just go no contact. Things are just easier that way.

>>220422856
That's fair, hope you gained something from the relationship anyway.

>>220421598
My GF. I've installed a cheap projector in my bedroom and it was worth it so much

>>220422921
Thank you anon and yeah I did. Honestly it has made me a better person, all things considered. And wherever she's at I hope she's doing okay. I really want to talk to her but I'm not really sure how well that would go, probably for the best that doesn't happen. Enjoy the rest of your day though man and have a good trip if you're the one LSDanon from before.

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>>220421598
I eat alone and consume media of any kind alone. When I am forced to watch things with normies I read the plot summary beforehand so their retarded vocalisations and blinding phone usage doesn't disturb me.

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>>220422538
thanks anon, i only know what shrooms feel like, and my first trip (4gr) was probably the most beautiful and horrifying experience of my life. The echo of the cave is something else. The abyss, the labirynth, the eternal rainbow, the dance of the glyphs. The eyes and the grins, lol. The joke of this world of duality. I wish i could feel that first trip again to be honest. Thanks i kinda cried while I was reading your blog. Picrel is essentially what I felt

>>220423280
Nice. Yeah shrooms are waaaay less intense. I liked it though, shrooms are really chill. We both had an 8th and then just walked around Central Park for hours. By the end of the trip I was sweaty as fuck and nearly dehydrated. At one point I swear I saw a midget walking towards us and then as he got closer he grew to like 7 feet tall. Absoutely made me lose my shit. Outside of that though nothing wild happened. I definitely prefer Acid > Shrooms. I did want to try molly and even got my hands on some in 2020 but because of the stupid fucking pandemic, I couldn't buy a testing kit. I think if I ordered it in March, they said it would ship in like June or some shit. So I just ended up selling it to someone because I refuse to just put random shit in my body without knowing for sure what it is. I kinda also wanted to try DMT and 2CB. Also Salvia but the stories about Salvia absolutely fucking terrify me. I was THIS close to ordering it and then I pussied out last second lol between reading the stories (some dude jumped out of his 5th floor window) and seeing Youtube videos of people smoking that shit and just bugging the absolute fuck out...I kinda just said it might not be for me lol I'm too much of a pussy to get fried like that and end up jumping off my roof like a retard.

irl, alone. i go to the theatre alone, it's way more comfortable
i enjoy watching movies over call though. with my ex girlfriend we watched a bunch of movies together over discord (it was a normal irl relationship but obviously can't always be with each other). syncing the times and finding good subtitles for her and all that, it was fun. we watched a loooot of different stuff together. she made us watch the entire harry potter franchise because i had never seen them before, and she fell asleep during the last half hour of every one of them, which was weirdly comfortable and sweet. i'd just say the words "i love you, goodnight" to the void and hope she heard me in her dreams or whatever. she also got mad at me when i was praising the practical effects of the thing, telling me to get more immersed in it
i miss her a lot. now i'm just lonely and defeated

>>220421598
I'm a 34 KHHV and I've never watched a movie with a girl.
I want to die.

Early in my relationship (like the first 3 years) we would watch shit constantly, like once or twice a week and more if we were going through a tv show, and she liked most of it because she'd never really watched anything ever.
But then we just stopped, I don't know why.
I would say she was only pretending to like the Sopranos or whatever just to be nice, but it's years later and she still references the show all the time, so I don't know if her media meter has just been exceeded or something.

>>220423826
You've never had your girl give you a loving, gentle blowjob while you watch your favorite kino?

You've never had your girl tap your cheek and smile and say "wake up Anon!" as you mumble an apology and see the movie credits scrolling in the background?

You've never had your girlfriend shout "quickly Anon, the movie's starting!" as you're pouring the popcorn into a bowl and biting a packet of chocolates and using your forehead to turn out the light as she lifts up the cozy blanket so you can snuggle down beside her?

You've never watched like twenty minutes of a movie with your qt gf and then said "this movie is, uh, interesting..." in a dry voice and had her laugh and say "oh my god it's awful" and laughed together and turned it off to cuddle and make out and listen to the motherfucking RAIN FALLING OUTSIDE INSTEAD HUH

HAVEN'T YOU FUCKING DONE THAT FAGGOT?

WHY HAVEN'T YOU?

DO IT NOW. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

>>220421722
Lmao if he wasn't balding he'd look like Jensen Ackles