>... give him the stall with no toilet paper
He doesnt carry his own wet wipes and paper towels combo. She. Certain things you learn when you are growing up, that is one of them. Always put everything in the same place is another
>>220461331>shitting in public restrooms
>>220461331>have him finally be able to post after months, then have every thread be deleted or die after he posts in it.
>>220461462Damn…
>>220461331>good>now send in the cleaning lady
>>220461398Yeah, Id rather shit in my pants.
>>220461331>Make him gay>Ok now make him straight againThe viewership would be through the roof. Is he or isn't he a fag?
>>220461462>he spent 5 minutes writing the post. Delete the thread
>>220461724If you are in america, you could get the cops to come arrest you and throw you i n to jail. Out of the frying pan, Into the fire.
>>220461462REAL
>>220461737>when he goes for the " close his post and make him think he pressed escape
>>220461775>Writes out a very thought out reply, performs captcha, thread doesnt exist anymore.
>>220461331>give him a brap fetish>okay, now make him incredibly insecure about it and swear to himself that he will never actually tell a woman about it>good, good. now, have him fall in love with a woman that he thinks he can trust>hold on... he's going to tell her, thinking she'll be okay with it>great. now have her tell everyone they know after they breakup because she cheated on him>now Truman can never trust women. perfect.What a fucked up episode.
>>220461724>>220461398Never once in my almost 40 years of life have I ever had the need to shit in public. Do people really just not have bowel control? Shit at the same time once a day at your house. What's the issue?
>>220461834
>release the dog poop in his path when he's not looking again.
>>220461838Some people do it willingly, and use the 1 ply tissue without issue.
>>220461844These are always fucking stupid. What did you think farts were going to smell like? I knew exactly what I was getting into and still loved it. I mean, Truman knew what he was getting into and loved it hahaHonestly, Truman thinks posts like that might be fake because everybody knows what farts smell like. It isn't a surprise when you smell a woman's fart for the first time
>>220461893
>>220461462This shit is legit scary sometimes. You open a thread that's been up for hours and as soon as you're in the images stop loading as you scroll down because it's been deleted
>>220461838The human body isnt clockwork and you need to go when you need to go.
>>220461933Its called being regular
>it's a Truman falls for the eating ass meme and goes tongue deep up a Chinese girl's ass and spends the next week vomiting and shitting with norovirus episode
>>220461821>have him come up with the perfect crossover meme that only applies to the current thread and he’s laughing his ass off at other shit attempts but knows his is gold, then have him spend 20 min working on the pic related…. Delete the thread
>>220461821>make the captcha not have any matching items until he checks them a second time
>>220461933>t. fatass
>>220461933I can hold it in for up to a week
>OK, now.... for this season's arc, first I want to create a social narrative in Seahaven that eggs are bad for you. Then, halfway through... we flip the script. Eggs are good for you again.
>>220462054I can hold it for a good while if im away from my toilet from home. I cant even shit if Im worried my wife can hear me say like in a small hotel.
>>220461389i bring a water bottle too
>>220461331>he’s driving with his wife and kids. Quick, send the worst human imaginable to cut him off on the road and ragebait him with road games. Make it so there’s a clear opportunity to pullover and confront the guy and beat him up but he won’t do it because of his family.
>>220462091I thought your post was gonna go in another direction.
>>220462143>Make him fall in love... Now dont strap all the bricks down.
>>220461844Perfect example of how reality is much more disappointing than what you build up in your head. Most online fetishists would disappear overnight if they actually had the opportunity to test their fetish irl.
>>220461980If I had a dollar for every time that fucking happened to me I’d quit my job.>inb4 I’m a janny
>>220461331Did they really show Truman pissing, shitting, masturbating and fucking on the show?? There were kids watching that shit.
>>220461331>he matched on the dating app. Load 4 low effort responses then ghost him
>>220462286>fuckingHmm no I don't recall him doing that and I've watched 27 seasons
>>220462286They had commerical breaks and I bet thats when they would cut to them.
>>220461331>good>now make his dick drip for 45 seconds after he thinks he's done>and after that, let one last big drop stain his underwear
>>220461834Brother she was cheating on you before you told her...
>>220462468are you me?
>>220462468too real
>>220462519>Why did you cheat on him?>WHY?!?!?! I was scared, he wanted to smell my farts, he would run into the bathroom every time I pooped. My panties started going missing, I SAW HIS SEARCH BAR SHOW HIS RECENT SEARCHES FOR JUST A SECOND WHEN HE HAD HIS LAPTOP CONNECTED TO THE TV!!!! I was scared to leave him, so I just stayed with him until could leave...
>>220462519I'm aware of that. I mean, Truman is aware of that haha
>make his closed laptop play the porn he was watching at full blast
>>220461331>give him a good jawline but have him develop a double chin even when he's skinny... perfect. Hes trying to cover it up with facial hair? Make sure his beard is patchy and never fully connects.
>>220462581Cheating was fucked up but honestly can you blame her for being grossed out? It is a pretty weird fetish and the thing about fetishes is that theyre niche at best degenerate at worst
>>220462468Even with their technology, how could they possibly manage that?
>>220461331>make him post on 4chan for 22 years
>>220462802Yet it's perfectly normal and totally not weird for women to ask for choking, slapping, and hitting, sometimes even rape roleplay? GET REAL
>>220462870Get a hobby loser.
>>220462877Calm the hell down, Truman. There are plenty more fish in the sea.
>>220462899>now give him a worldwide fish shortage
>>220461331>Sir he's just sitting on the toilet... No bowel movement detected >How long has it been? >40 minutes sir
>>220462877Girls that are into that stuff are legit crazy though, fun to fuck around with but not to be in a relationship with. Regardless if I met a woman who wanted to smell my farts I'd be turned off.
>>220462286No commercial interruptions, but the camera would turn away or switch cameras to catch the moon or something else.
>>220461331This shit got sad after season 5. It just became Truman getting tortured every episode.
>>220462286They show in the film that they move the lead camera away from "the action"
>>220462968you deserved it
>>220462870too cruel
>So let's make it so that everyone will believe in an imaginary man in the sky. Let's see if he'll go along with it
>>220463057>have him believe in absolutely nothing
>>220462079Based hygienic lunatic. How did you get to that everyday carry load out gear?
>>220461331>Make sure they give him a bagel with herb and garlic instead of plain cream cheese.>Ok good, now have his friend show up, notice, and help him say something to the staff.>Then say they just ran out of out of plain.
>Now send in his new coworker, Mr. Guthrapati. And have him bring in lunch from home and leave it on the desk all morning.
>>220462877Pretty much any fetish is more acceptable in my book than a fart/poop fetish haver.
>>220463131>>220463132Has the meme evolved into niche shit that nobody would ever relate to? That’s fine I just didn’t get the memo.
>>220461331>cast someone with post nasal drip as his cubicle mate>make them constantly clear their nose and throat all day>trumans eating lunch, hock a loogie into the trash can...>again.
>>220461331>make everyone in the classroom somehow get along with each other on the first day of college, except for him. Leave him isolated. I want to see his spirit crushed. Make him feel like he's barely human incapable of making relationships
>>220463189Some of the funniest uses of this meme are things that only affect a small number of Trumans.
>Make him discover weed>Make it the only crutch he likes>Now make him only land jobs that randomly drug test
>>220462071>now make the whites bad>now make the yolks bad
>>220463311Yeah but they are usually universal truths that nobody wants to admit to identifying with but reign true, not just random information about your day that applies to literally nobody and isn’t funny or awkward in the slightest.
>>220463391Theres usually a good mix in these threads of universal experiences and specific shit that fucked up your day that feels like an omnipotent being is fucking with you.
>>220463391>Have him a few minutes late to work>good, now have every light turn yellow a hundred meters before he gets there and have a cop at all the intersections
>>220463391I'll admit, Truman dealing with garlicy bagels, fart fetishes and articles about eggs isnt exactly the best season arc we've gotten so far.
>>220463509>and make sure nobody else is on the road triggering the lights, I want him to start getting paranoid about us
>>220463514Yeah the bagels Arc is the weakest this season. What the fuck are the writers thinking?
>>220463552>now have the funeral procession start through with police escorts. Cue green light in 3...2...
>>220463509>hes taking the other exit, get the roadside construction zones set up. Have all lanes merge into one.
>>220461398>not shitting on company's time>not shitting on the corp/govt dime
>>220463606>okay, now let him on the on ramp, now set up a 30mph speed zone trap with no cones or any signs of road work anywhere and have him think it’s a 50mph zone
>okay inspire him to change his life with small steps>step one should be just going outside for a walk around the neighborhood....good. >He's actually doing it? That was faster than expected. >Okay now let's have someone make a weird face at him>Excellent. Now he'll think twice before leaving his room again.
>>220461844This anon gets it >>220462212I had a exhibitionism fetishism for a while, cfnm/cmnf stuff and I managed one day to be a naked model for a drawing session a friend of mine was organizing in his art group. Turns out having your junk out in front of a bunch of boomers and a couple of 4/10 girls for 50 minutes where you have to stay completely still, can't even sneeze or scratch your nose and the AC is freezing your ass all the time is definitely not the most erotic experience. Completely healed me from that fetish.
>>220461331>remember that embarrassing situation 20 years ago? Insert it into his brain tonight.
>>220463509>>220463552>>220463603>>220463606Bros this shit is legit real and I’m going full schizo over it and I’m about to grab the nearest fight to figi just to prove I’m right
>teach him how to spell 'fiji' with a 'g'>good, now tell him 'gif' is pronounced 'jif'
>>220463313>weed>>>crutchweed junkies are insane, no, your recreational brain rotting drug isn't a 'crutch' that you need to operate normally, it's a vice you refuse to drop because your parents didn't bother showing you the virtues of discipline. at least weed fiends are magnitudes less likely to have children so it self-corrects in time.
>>220462859
>>220461331>he's making progress in his lifts?>tendon injury. 1 month
>>220462143What's this some kind of tornado blowing a mobile home?
>>220463901Ouch anon, >now have him feel personally attacked on the one place he feels accepted.>Don’t even give him a (You) This really is a brutal season
>>220463923God damn, imagine getting this mad over nothing, hahaha.
>>220461331>goddamn it, he's been picking his nose for 5 minutes. Send the ice cream van
>>220463994>Truck with lots of bricks pass a vehicle with an entire family>Loose brick flies off the truck>Hits and immediately kills the mum
>He is plugging the HDMI into the computer again, have the woman leave in disgust.
>>220461462>quick use that great comeback he just posted but start another thread setting it up and same fag that comment as the fpbp, now delete the thread he made the original comment in and give him a 3 day ban for off topic while his comment in the new thread gets screen grabbed. It’s happened way too many seasons now that it’s just lazy writing at this point
>>220464167>>quick use that great comeback he just posted but start another thread setting it up and same fag that comment as the fpbp, now delete the thread he made the original comment in and give him a 3 day ban for off topic while his comment in the new thread gets screen grabbed.Literally never happened, schizoshit.
>>220464182Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to be able to post a reply to this? And yes… it’s happened quite a bit and I’ve even seen it happen to other anons as well
>>220464167Just screengrab your own shit if you think it's so great
>>220464246I usually don’t have to, anons do it for me. I’m a soul poster, I don’t do it for (You)s I do it for (You)
>>220463901apex lol
>He downloaded the picture...>Ok, camera 2, his photoshop screen>We'll keep it here, while he's editing the pic to make a funny meme>As soon as he saves the file, delete the thread
>>220464182
>>220461389I started throwing a bag in my car of sunscreen, chapstick, deodorant, etc. I always smell good and look good. It's based.
>>220462468Push up from underneath your balls a few times. Thank me later.
>>220462074She had your dick inside her but hearing you shit is too personal?
>he's having a good month so far >give him surprise morning kidney stones
>>220464585Yes, yes it is.
>>220464586>Make him drink excessive amount of energy drinks>Make him not want to drink water>Make him think the kidney stones are a surprise
>>220464585Yes
>>220461331>give him a tinder match that seems legit and be a 5/10 and have her reply like she is sincere, make sure she responds for a few days>good, now have her invite him to a personalized cam show, and be sure she gets all uppity when he criticizes her for the deception and report him to the app.It’s getting pretty repetitive at this point, can’t the writers think of something else?
>>220461331oh hey it's that voice actor from call of duty black ops
>He saw the thread in the calalogue, sir. He's about to click.>Good, delete it. Do it a few more times.>He's beginning to question reality, sir.>Good.
>now have someone walk in and say "holy shit it smells bad in here. Sweet jesus. Whoever you are, you should see a doctor or maybe even a priest."
>>220461838If you do any sort of distance running and/or a big fan of coffee, it's much more likely to happen.
>>220464773Lol
>He seems really tired tonight. Put some dog vomit next to the bed while he's brushing his teeth.
>>220464788>distance runningyou can't run without covering *some* distance, that's just redundant
>>220462074>if my wife can hear meHear what, exactly? The sound of the poo actually splashing into the water should easily be covered by the fan. Are you grunting and screaming everytime you produce a bowel movement?
>>220462143>that frame:(
>>220464856Hotels sometimes have thinner doors and larger gaps on the bottom, the last one didnt have a fan, so excuse me for being a shy pooper
If they controlled his life since the start of his life then why even teach him that Fiji exist? Why did he get upset when his wife was promoting the new cocoa? Everyone around him was doing it since he can remember, why would he find the behaviour weird?
>>220464934>If they controlled his life since the start of his life then why even teach him that Fiji exist?"Fiji" is something an extra said when Truman asked him where were they going
>>220461331>raise gas prices to nearly $5 per gallon. Now push him a news article that its for another pointless desert war, see how he reacts.
>Give him a negroni
>>220461331>He's trying to plug his phone charger in the dark>Make it bump into the drywall>He flipped the cord? Good, make it not fit again>He's flipping it a third time. Now let it slide in perfectly.
>>220464856>Are you grunting and screaming everytime you produce a bowel movement?Do you not?
>>220464985>good, now give him eight whiskey sours and have him show up for work the next morning fired and not remember why.
>He's showing his friend a really funny YouTube video>Make it buffer right before the punchline>Wait, the friend is looking away. >Play it now, but drop the resolution to 144p.
>>220465001>wait…now have it plugged in all the way but still not charging.
>>220464934>If they controlled his life since the start of his life then why even teach him that Fiji exist?Truman must be relatable to the audience. If he's just a bubble baby, who's taught that nothing outside of the island exists, he'd be less real. Hell, you could set Truman's Show on a lunar colony, make Truman believe he's a space colonist, and he can't leave the Moon. But this is not what Christof was going for. He wanted to display the life of an ordinary, unexceptional american.>Why did he get upset when his wife was promoting the new cocoa? Everyone around him was doing it since he can remember, why would he find the behaviour weird?Even if you live your entire life with people spouting advertisements at you, it's more than a little weird when it happens during an emotional argument. Like, if your dad starts rambling about his fishing trip while you're trying to listen to music, that's normal. If your dad starts rambling about it while you're tearfully asking him if you're adopted, it's a little weird. Like, why is he doing that?
>>220464985>Maybe 300 google searches were excessive...
>>220461331>he's going to the store to buy pants and his current size is 32, I want all size 32 pants in the store to not fit him properly. Make the denims to tight in the groin and make the chinos give him diaper butt. Have the size 30s in the same brand be way too small and rest above his ankles. Delete any trace of size 31 ever existing.
>>220462074If you shit on her once, then shitting around her should be downhill from there.
>>220461331>okay, now film him dropping the unbreakable monster of a shit that's been brewing in his colon for the past five days>and, also, cue up some fast food commercials for when he starts wiping his ass with the sleeve of his shirt
>>220465181Im not going to shit on my wife, anon
>>220465215Well then what are we doing here?
>He's watching a Nolan film.>Drop the dialogue audio mixing to 15%.>He's turning up his soundbar to hear what they are whispering.>Wait for it...>BAM. MAX OUT THE BASS DROP. WAKE UP HIS NEIGHBORS.
>>220461331>have his cat take a shit in the litter box and not cover it
>>220461844Bs buttholes can smell good. Farts tho...
>>220465232Are you asking me to shit on you?
>>220465248After a shower? Sure.
>make him start nofap to get rid of his fetish>great>now give him a chastity fetish
>>220461331>"okay now before he puts it turn on the anti-erection emitter">"are we cutting the prostitute scene short, sir?">"no make him stay for another 20 minutes. Viewership is skyrocketing."
>>220462938Eat more fruits.
>Let him make a witty, funny comment>Now send the thread to /bant/
>>220465192>have the girl finally come over and cuddle with him on the couch after 2 hours of him holding in a massive shit and piss,>force out some gas…good now have him have massive diarrhea and stink up the entire apartment.>make sure she’s gone by the time he’s done wiping
>sir, he's posting crime statistics again
>>220465357>Ban him. But for a random innocuous post he did on a different thread
>>220465269No. There's a nice smell to it. Idk why, but I think its the tiny amount of shit that's been rubbing all day from walking and stretching.
>>220465391>Sir, he's smiling and appears to be having fun.>Hit him with the "replying to off-topic thread".
>>220465412Anon, go take a fucking bath.
>>220465461I'm clean ty for your concern.
>>220465391>sir he’s keeping a fun thread going by having creative and interesting on topic posts about a specific tv show and he’s getting (You)s and hearty keks.>Ban him! >But sir he hasn’t posted anything >I said Ban him, tag a post on a board he’s never ever browsed if you have to!>yes sirThese episodes are getting old
>>220465391>sir, he responded to a thread with vaguely on topic text but an off topic picture... he addressed the picture >delete the picture in the OP but keep the thread and its poster, ban truman for 3 days for his reply, no option for re-evaluating the ban.
>hes watching a supposedly safe pg13 movie with his parents>everyone is enjoying it>alright cue the totally unnecessary out of nowhere 3 minute sex scene>make the remote fall deep between the couch cushions so he cant fast forward
>>220461844Glad to see our memes remain malignant and continue to ruin the lives of retards.
>>220461731kek I like it when woke is done right
>>2204628703 more years for me and I'm finally free faggots.
>>220463984fuck this gay ass thing we call life
>>220465578hahaha anon got buck broken by the memeskek @>hmm, me having a cock in my mouth might be kinda gay>maybe the trolls were right?
>>220465578every now and then I think about this faggot lol what a stupid faggot
>>220462286they probably had a NSFW edition
>Is he trying to plug in a USB? Make sure it doesn't fit>He's flipping it over? We can't have that work either>He returned it to the original orientation, now let it connect
>make him stand up against the people closest to him who always put him down>good, now fill him with grief so that he apologizes for asserting his independence and returns to his cycle of abuseI hate ratings traps, this is the third time they blue-balled us with this shit
>>220465736>Wanna see hik take a shit? Jerk off? Fail are courting? Pay $9.99 a month for the to hot for tv deal
>he's watching jav porn. enable screen mirroring on the livingroom tv and put the volume at max.
>great work people, the pina colada song has been stuck in his head for a week>he's about to get in the elevator>get ready>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WGKIxixfdY
>>220466996IF YOU LIKE PINA COLDAS
>The emotional finale just ended. He's sitting in silence processing the beautiful ending theme.>Perfect. >Shrink the credits to a tiny unreadable box in the upper left corner.>Now autoplay a blaring, colorful trailer for a Netflix teenage rom-com in 5... 4... 3...
>Truman will be leading the team meeting this morning. As soon as he starts the training video, load up the ads for boner pills and hentai.
>>220461331>it’s a Truman drunk drives into a head on collision killing two teenagers and getting sentenced to 25 years in prison episode
>he's looking out the window, is the moving truck blocking his view?>are they hiding?>good, have it drive away>slowly>are they in sight?>now, zoom in on his face>beautiful
>Make him think his town is unique or special about something>Now show him its actually a common thing in other places
>>220464541Yeah you probably need all of those thing, nastySwarthoid
>>220461331>Alright, give him the stick>DON'T GIVE HIM THE STICK
>>220461994I thought I was going insane.
>"bring in the really smelly actor and have him sit right next to Truman">"now make the bus breakdown"
>when he's about to fall asleep, play a loud booming noise that comes from tbe speaker inside his head
>>220463799wait what was even your goal here? to get a boner in front of everyone?
>the thread
>>220465776motherfucker i knew it
>You see those buttons? Had the mechanics install a tiny motor inside of all of Truman's cupboards. Whenever you see Truman bending over near a cupboard, you just hit the corresponding button to make it silently open. Instant slapstick.
>Now have all the cute girls give a slight look at him as he is walking past them>He's reciprocating? Have them call him a creepy incel
>>220461462>he just finished writing that lengthy reply, delete the thread right before he hits submit
>>220461724Eh, if it's an emergency then you just do it, but usually you don't even need to poop that many times in a day. Like once in the morning and once at night.
>>220461834I've been married for a decade. I will carry my brap fetish to my grave.
>>220467888I was in 5th grade and my mom stood up and hit her head like that, then collapsed and then she started to have a seizure. I called 911 all frantically and shit, lady was yelling at me to calm down and then my mom just came to as the ambulance pulled up.
>>220467955Yeah, but if I had to choose between a public bathroom or shitting my pants, I would rather shit my pants, unless its a buccees bathroom, or a one person bathroom, assuming its clean. Aint no way your ass can be clean after using 1 ply TP.
>>220467968that sounds horrible. One time I got up while emptying the dishwasher and banged my head so hard I fell asleep right after. Then I had the most abstract dream ever (i normally have strange dreams but this was just 100% colour, noise and nonsense)Then I had exploding head syndrome the following days
>>220468009Huh, guess it can fuck you up, thought it was just because my mom was kind sickly. My mom had issues so as I grew up I didnt flinch when my mom went through spells and stuff, but yeah that day it freaked me out.
>>220467544>alright now introduce the penis pump
>>220461731Fucking KEK
>>220463792LMAO FUCK
>>220463792me
>>220464773Glad this happened to you. You deserved it.
>>220467266Wish you were executed
>>220461331>He's trying to show his friend a movie he really likes>Tell his friend to look completely disinterested, go on his phone
>>220461994kek
>>220468357>make his only peers he has, on his favorite website, loathe him and wish for his demise
>did he just shampoo his hair and rub it in?>cut his water
>>220468600>Did he just finish risning off all the soap?>Make him have to take a shit.>NOW!!!
>>220468643>hes taking a shit in the middle of the night and left his phone in his room?>cut his power
>>220463792I didn’t come here to be attacked
>>220461821>>220461994>it's 2018 and he has to solve those awful slow-fade captchas>select hydrant>nope hahaha, let's try select bicycles>WRONG AGAIN TRYMAN
>>220461331>make him pee before going to bed>now just as he gets comfortable he has to pee again. But have it where he can’t pee out one last little bit that seems to just stay at the tip of his penis
>>220463994Brick instakills some woman while everyone else in the car screams in horror.
>...okay when he's finished talking have the extra pause for a little to long to indicate that he said something stupid even though it was a perfectly normal statement.
>he's having a good day at school for once because he's proud of the A he got on his Thomas Edison essay?>send in the hiv positive homeless man to rape him in the park on his way homeHeh, where do they come up with this stuff?
>okay he's already late for work>close the railroad crossing>good, good! Now have a farmer with his tractor slow down the traffic
>>220468600Always have a bucket of water on stand by or a water container. You won't catch me slipping.
>>220467590Exploding head syndrome, read more about it. Schizophrenia also doesnt appear till your 20s.
this thread made me laugh my ass off
>>220470410I was just bemoaning my life, and then shit like this reminds me I have it pretty okay. I hope you're well, anon.
>>220468491forgive yourself, Christ already does
>>220468662Taking a shit in the dark is the closest a man can get to heaven. It is a spiritual experience, until you get to the part where you need to wipe.
>>220470510He was making a move anon he had to get it on.
public toilets are for lower order hominids
>>220470766B A S E D
>>220461724sure you do, pajeet
>>220461331>Sir, he’s rubbing his butthole and smelling his fingers… again.
>>220461389>She.what did he mean by this
>>220472329my guess is 'shame'.
>>220467356>>are they hiding?what did he mean by this
>>220461331>sir he killed himself
>>220472373>Just call it "the show", it's cleaner.
>he's about to wipe after a hard poop>prepare the bloody toilet paper to really scare him
the viagra laced coffee must be kicking in now, have his wife call and say works keeping her late, he needs to go to the daycare and pick his wifes sons up
>make him start watch sissy hypno>make him start shaving himself>make him download grindr>make him blow the first guy who messages him>make him feel shame and guilt and do it again and againdamn the director was really a pervert
>its an episode of trutruman suddenly getting a pregnancy fetish after a decade of being gaywhere are they going with this
>what if Truman was raised by a single mother that works everyday so he just stays at home eating junk food and doing nothing?Those whole fifteen seasons were quite boring desu
>sir, he's moving house AGAIN. this is the eighth time now>doesn't matter. make all his neighbours fa old people>again?>yes, againAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>make everyone around him too polite to point out whatever obvious flaw or faux pas he happens to be unaware he's making today
>>220464852not when my and the boys run a train on your bussy
>>220461920Ephesians 6:12King James Version12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
>>220473527kek.>make him move overseas as a 3 year old, so that perpetually everyone calls him the american guy, and ask his favorite football team, despite not even being old enough to even remember living in america>now, make sure he somehow has an ameircan accent well into his 30s>periodically change the street signs and order of the date to gaslight him into using the wrong oneperfect
>make the cute latina girl he is dating invite him to dinner with her family>now tell grandma to prepare beans>make him eat 2 dishes>good, good...>now make him go on a family ride with her family for about 3 hours, dont let him open the windows...
>>220473659tl;dr
>>220473806My nigga there's like to lines.
>>220473842>just one glass bro
>>220469120I genuinely did have threads die on me while sitting there fucking seething about those slow fade captchas. On those bad days when it could take like a whole minute for the image tile to fade in and out.
>>220473943amazing slower downer software. really old. can be used to speed up process arbitrarily or slow down old games for bullettime
>>220461972Worth it.
>>220473943Back when we had the fade captcha you could still set them to legacy instead, which was possibly the fastest captcha this shithole ever had.The current one is just pure cancer.
>>220470504how?
>>220464560The good old gooch rub.
>how long has he been depressed?>2 weeks sir>make one of his friends send him a message inviting to hang with him>did he read the message yet?>yes sir, he is finally smiling!>good, good, now make the friend delete the message and send a new one saying "hey, the previous message was a mistake, hope you are well!"
>>220462877Most chicks that want to be choked or slapped were molested by their dads, so there's a justification. But poop and farts?
>>220474223did this actually happen to you?you know you can just invite your friends out to hang out yourself
>>220474286friends?
>>220474286you fucking SAID a friend sent you a message you CUNT
>>220474286i dont have friends, i have acquaintances at best, acquaintances who whenever they call me is to ask a favor and whenever i meet them outside they tell me "lets hang later!" or "ill call you later so we can hang!" and never hear of them again
>he always doublechecks when leaving a restaurant or a waiting room to make sure no one forgets anything>make him think there's no point this time so he doesn't look>make his friend forget his hat
>He working out? Good>Is he getting swole? Even better>He just bought a new thing of protein Perfect >Loosen the cap and have it on the edge of the counter so it falls off and spills everywhere.
>make him incredibly racist>okay good, now make it so that only Chinese and Mexican girls show interest in him >perfect
>>220474472It's not you, they do this to everyone because they're busy wagecucking and in their free time they're either chasing girls or fucking their girl before they wagecuck again
>>220474472>whenever i meet them outside they tell me "lets hang later!" or "ill call you later so we can hang!"Know how people ask>How are you?But they dont reall expect you to spill your spaghetti, because its just a way to say an extra hello? Thats just an extra way to say good bye.
>sir he's about to fart in public>he must be really confident it's a quiet one>excellent, the Stink Bomb is fully operational
>He just bought a crisp white shirt? >He has decided its now his favorite shirt?>It fits him perfectly?>Make sure the lid on his coffee mug doesnt seal well and have his coffee spill all over it
>sir he was just invited to a classmates birthday party again>great make his skin get covered in eczema have some big bite swell up his face make his asthma that’ll stop existing only after it’s too late to make friends easily and make his autistic ass brother crash out>that’s the fourth time this year sir isn’t it getting repetitive >just it do it
Okay he's just moved to the faster queue, now slow it down and make the one he just left go even faster.
>mfw reading this thread>mfw Loki's messing with me again
>>220475472>Ok he found the shortest line at the check out.>Make the person in front of himsplit the order 3 times.>Make their EBT card not work.>Make the person get made and demand a manager.>Make the person who was at the back of the long line check out he skipped get checked out.>Make that cashier leave for lunch.>Resolve the issue with the person in front of him>His turn?>Make the terminal shutdown "unexpectedly"
