>He’s going to make it to the interview on time? Put a major accident on the freeway and block all the exits
>okay so we've replaced trumans reflective lenses with see through ones so when he's staring at the jailbaits tits she'll notice and freak out at him
>He's unremarkably calm and not fidgeting right now..>Make him astonishingly self-conscious and remember every cringe thing from school.
>give him diarrhea right before his college graduation ceremony
>set his phone's ringtone to Twinkle Stars from StarTwinkle PreCure, set the volume to max, and have his mom call him while he's supposed to be white boarding a solution for the technical phase of the interview
>Give him the ol' Spicy Keychain>but sir!>DO IT
>he's going to see his love interest by 18:00? Make his psychiatrist spend more than an hour doing God knows what with a woman so he only leaves the place around 18:30 and gets fucked in traffic because everyone is leaving work.
>Somebody just fucking kill him FUCK IT
>>220511416How'd it go?
>Things are looking up for him and he's starting to not feel so miserable all the time? Kill his dog.
>>220512142>Make his therapist tell him that she's getting married and make her talk about the guy every now and then to remind him that she's owned and he doesn't have a chance. He needs to know that the only woman who listens to him only does it because she's getting paid and at the end of the day no one really loves him.
>He’s walking to the bus stop in front of the middle school? Have the actress playing the 13 year old girl in a skirt drop something in front of Truman and she bends aaaaalll the way over to pick it up. Blast the fans under her
>Truman is going to the water park today. Have his bathing suit come off on the big slide, and see to it the class of middle schoolers is waiting at the bottom. Make sure the props department has that "sex offender" sign in front of his house when he gets home.
>>220512495Bro before the more stringent laws regarding sex offenders were on the books, I remember they were forced to have pink mailboxes.
>>220511300>Today Truman is feeling particularly nervous and antsy about his interview, that basically ensures no eye contact>Make sure the interviewer is a female with massive breasts, whichever actress has the largest, and wearing a low cut top. Have her cough loudly whenever Truman's eyes start wandering. goood... goood
