What would you wish for, /tv/?
He should have wished for infinite wishes but instead he thought a yandere gf would be cool, can't blame him really.
lods of emone
>>220521549Easy, omnipotence.
I wish I could change my appearance like that bitch from X-Men
>>220521549health, wealth, and wisdom
>>220521549TND
>>220521549I would wish for world peace :)
To be given a plithgar, that is only distinguished from a wish in that I can use it as many times I want.
>>220521836I would wish this particular anon got raped to death by niggers.
>>220521868Lmao
>>220521549i would wish that i could read on the toilet for as long as i wanted without my legs falling asleep
>>220521549Tom Selleck given immortality
>>220521868I would wish for TND
>>220522565hey this guy >>220522460 already wished for Tom No Die pick something else
>>220521549Every woman on Earth gains two cups sizes and a bigger ass, becomes 100+ feet tall, and the insufficient O2 levels make them dumb and horny.
>>220522624TKD it is then
>>220521549Every non-white just becomes White overnight
>>220522638poor koreans :((((((
>>220521549Beans
>>220521831>>220522565>cringe solvers of symptoms
>>220521549>What would you wish for, /tv/?Kill everyone involved in journalismKill everyone involved in hollywoodKill everyone involved in the porn industryKill everyone involved in bankingKill everyone involved in governmentKill everyone involved in the music industryKill everyone involved in the video game industryKill everyone involved in big pharmaKill everyone involved in the oil industryKill everyone involved in the property industryKill everyone who uses 4chan/altchans
>>220521549Save states throughout my life.
>>220522786banking is the heart of the hydra
I WISH TO BE THE MOST POWERFUL SORCERERIN THE WORLD!
>>220521549A Toblerone.
>>220522786That's more than one wish, Señor Autisimo
>>220522786what if I told you anon already has you covered, more succinctly >>220522638
>>220522788There's a pretty fun trashy e-book series about that
>>220522859Woah woah woah, you mean to tell me that the media, both information and entertainment, politics AND finance have been shanghaied by a small group of people that use it to fund pedophiles and a genocide paid for by my tax dollars on the other side of the planet?
>>220522903>What are you trying to tell me? That I can tell just by checking someone's Early Life on Wikipedia? >>No. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to
To permanently abolish the federal reserve
>>220521549Freedom from everything.
>>220522875Exactly.
>>220521549I would wish for a jackpot winning lottery ticket, then redeem it anonymously and live my normal life except without any concern about money or jobs.
>>22052154910 inch penis with 6.5 inch girth
>>220523119Why would you wish for a penis that's literally too big to fit in a vagina?
>>220521771
>>220523139because he's not going to use it anyway. having a giant cock is useless as tits on a nun if it's attached to a sperg who frequents /tv/
>>220521549Mind control powers
>>220523068what a gay wish. passing a law is the best thing you could think of?
>>220522788Just make sure to ask for more than one save slot, that's how you get fucked over.
>>220522788>>220523335I've always wanted a device that, when activated, puts me in a Groundhog Day-style time loop until I deactivate it. Turn it on, experiment with how to make that day turn out the best way, then turn it off once I'm satisfied enough to let my life continue.
>>220521549i would wish for every living organism to die
>>220523424The problem with that, as I reference here >>220523335, is you may unwittingly put something awful into motion and not realize it until a week, month, or even years later. By then, it's too late to go back.
>>220523449Chill it with the genocide, Claude.
>>220523449put an exception clause in there for me
>>220521836I can't believe they allow open antisemitism like this on this board, where are the jannies?
>>220523449cool it with the antiemetic remarks
>>220523449
>>220523516True, but that's no different than normal, everyday life. At least I'd be able to minimize immediate consequences or even just blow off steam by doing something crazy and letting it reset so I can have a normal day after.
>>220521771All the information overloads your brain and you go into a vegetative state, knowing everything without a way to change anything
>>220523895that's omniscience, doofus
>>220523139>vaginaAnon.... The only group of people who care about big dicks are...
>>220522786
>>220522786>>220522855It's literally just two wishes.
>>220522855>"Kill everyone involved in the journalism, hollywood, porn, banking, government, music, video game, big pharma, oil, and property industries, as well as everyone who uses 4chan and altchans."
I'd wish to be immune to pain and mostly immortal, and the only thing that can kill me is being smothered to death by a latina with a fat ass.
>>220524643many are saying this is how achilles died
>>220521549wishing not to die is a monkey's paw type arrangement. i would wish for a greatly increased lifespan, like maybe 10k years during which i will very slowly age, reaching my senior years in the last couple millenia.
>>220521549Complete understanding and control over every aspect of my physical form.
>>220524671It's true but his weakness wasn't latinas, it was goth girls.
>>220521836Granted! The population of the world is now zero.
>>220522440this is how you get hemmorhoids. i strongly advise you to limit your shitting time.
>>220521868>>220522565I would wish for a coke
>>220524727What's great about this country is that America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest. You can be watching TV and see Coca-Cola, and you can know that the President drinks Coke. Liz Taylor drinks Coke, and just think, you can drink Coke, too.—Andy Warhol
>>220521549Mind Control skill is all you need desu
>>220522786hey, leave janice griffith alone for my sake eh?
>>220521549>What would you wish for, /tv/?Her back
>>220524924what's wrong with her front?
This thread is cute and all, but Im about to snap mine. See you fucks on the other side. Good luck.
>>220524982is this like a real thing thats common? I thought the movie made it up
>>220525017Yes it's common and yes it magically grants wishes.
>>220521549Nuking of the illegitimate state of Israel
>>220525017Yes.Its a promotional item that the official social media promoted. They threw it up on a fake "one wish willow" website a month ago for 7 dollars a piece. Sold out almost instantly. They then restocked it Monday and it sold out instantly again. I was lucky to get one in time. They now go for like 70 bucks on ebay.
>>220525067Its pretty sad that the greatest thing you can think of is potentially starting WW3. You want that more then having lots of money or super powers or something?
>>220521549A monkey's paw.
>>220521549I'd wish for Star Wars to be erased from existence. nobody would remember it, and anything related to it would have never existed
>>220524982>https://youtu.be/Sw3QHS8VNhA?si=xsmwYzJZWHjQoQDiWebsite in the description sold them. It was a pretty cool marketing stunt desu
>>220525017>>220525224
>>220521549a billion dollars
>>220525299......how about 100 billion dollars?
>>220523335I mean, granted I have my memory of what happens in the future, I doubt me going back to high school to unfuck my chance at being with a cute nerdy girl with big tits who I was fuckbuddies with would do much damage.
>>220525313it's what ian asked for
i wish mom was de-aged back to 17 years old
>>220521549https://powerlisting.fandom.com/wiki/Luck/Absoluteorhttps://powerlisting.fandom.com/wiki/Absolute_WishWithout any limitations.
I'd wish that all non-whites are sterile (Japanese and Korean are honorary Aryans, Jews aren't white)
>>220523139>ten inches>too big for a vaginahahaha
>>220523119this is also mine
Id wish all men but me were dead. Then I would repopulate the earth
>>220523068>Now every bank stops fractional reserve banking and starts no reserves
>>220525381same but also the hot coloured women birth purest White babies
>>220525134>You want that more then having lots of money or super powers or something?Yes. I'm an altruist.
>>220525360Average doujin plot
>>220525381for me, I'd also add: anyone < 110 IQ, and people who lost their virginity > 21 years. Too many partners isn't ideal, but unlike the former two conditions, I think it's more of a societal issue than an inheritable trait.No point in propagating the genes of imbeciles and social halfwits who can't figure out how to fuck.
>>220526139>Everyone whos not like me deserves death. Because Im the hero of the story I tell myself
>>220526239>t. midwit who lost virginity above age 21
>>220526307>all my fantasies are about sex and mass murderyou sound so fucking cool
>>220521549I would wish there were more Indians in all spheres of life
>>220522786whoa, cool it with the anti-semitism
Superman powers, ezpz.
>>220521549THE SAME EXACT WISH THIS MOVIE IS SO FUCKING HOT FUCKKKKKKK.
>>220521549Test
>>220526344>>220526239>Sorry, you may have misheardAnon, "sterility" isn't death or murder. Nor is it fixated on the sex act itself. It just means you can't have children.
>>220521771>Anon wants to shoot pool with a ropeWait for it, it'll rear up it's limp head on it's own...
>friendzone black pillShe had nothing
So if I wish for someone to love me obsessively, then we both die painfully.But if I wish for someone to love me a reasonable amount, then we're all good, right?
>>220526139I haven't lost my virginity at all yet, so I would slip past your wish
>>220521549>What would you wish for, /tv/?Kill everyone who has had a Bar Mitzvah.
>>220526848Well, given that any non-midwit could craft the verbiage of the wish appropriately, you're still fucked since I'm going to make the obvious assumptions that: 1) you're over 21, 2) still on track to be a virgin past age 21, or 3) don't have an IQ above 110 since you didn't realize this.
>>220526903>t. most informed anti-SemiteBro, what about the girls who had baT mitzvahs? You do realize it's matrilineal, right? Plus, not everyone is super observant and has the mitzvah. A lot of people would slip right through your scheme.
>>220526926>Well, given that any non-midwit could craft the verbiage of the wish appropriately,You're the one admitting your below midwit intellengence dog, per verbage of your wish, which you should really pay attention to, I am not someone who lost their virginity above the age of 21 and I am too high of IQ to deal with foids.
>>220527018I piggy-backed off another anon, saying "I'd add". I didn't claim or imply that my phrasing there was the air-tight language I'd actually use in this hypothetical situation.But let's be real, you're not being a pendant out of any linguistic rigor. You're just mad that you're an incel (pretending to be a volcel) and shitposting on a Bruneian chalk forum is the only way you cope.
>>220527097>You're just mad that you're an incelProjectionYou have no idea how not mad I am
>>220521549I wish incest porn had a more mainstream appeal, for a friend of mine
>>220527254Bro, go on any major porn site. I'd wager a fourth of all the videos on the first few main pages are "le step-sister/mom".You don't even have to leave 4chan to get inundated with "Mommy" posts. How much more mainstream could it get?
>>220521549unmake the universe.
the made a movie out of this
>>220521549>What would you wish for, /tv/?Can fuck or date whatever girl I want.
>>220523119Big penises are overrated. Both of my girlfriends say my personality is more important to them.
I'd cut out the middle man and just with I was in a constant state of bliss.
>>220528554And its good.
>>220529125saar?>>220529086low effort bait
>>220529125anon, it's called heroin
>>220521549The funny thing about this one is that it's not *guaranteed* to fuck you over, it just follows Fairly Odd Parents rules that you cannot use it to make people fall in love.
>>220521831>>220521836Same thing
>>220524674>gets killed randomly lol
>>220521549The temptation is there to wish for something that would solve all my problems, but trying to fit the ultimate answer into a single wish leads to too many ways it could backfire on me via poor phrasing.So I'll just wish for "a box that is always full of whatever fresh food I desire whenever I open it".If I want a bag of potato chips, I open the box and pull out the freshest bag off the production line. If I want a fruit smoothie full of blackberries, blueberries, & strawberries, I pull out a cold cup of freshly blended fruit & yogurt. If I want a Caniac Combo or Burger King Chicken Fries, I'll pull out the takeout box or to-go bag, each with a drink. If I see something on an episode of Good Eats I have downloaded and wanna try it, the box makes a perfect copy of what Alton Brown made in that episode a few decades ago as if he had made it in my kitchen just now. And best of all, if I actually wanna cook something myself, I can just ask the box for all the ingredients I need.I'll save money on groceries & the electric bill for my appliances. I'll never have to worry about something going bad before I can eat it. I can actually eat healthier without needing to spend extra for fruits & vegetables or waste time skinning & slicing fresh apples when the box does it for me. I could also make meals for other people, like sending care packages of shelf-stable items to local homeless shelters & orphanages. I could also make discontinued food products, like Choco Tacos, Coke Dreamland, Altoid Citrus Sours, or the old way Jack in the Box made their chicken strips before they changed the recipe.You can't just wish for endless money, that'll draw the attention of the IRS, but removing one fiscal concern frees up funds for all the others. It would genuinely be life-changing.
To kill anyone in the world with a thought.
>>220521549Michael Johnston is relentlessly handsome.
>>220532092Too vague. Whenever someone posts a troll thread saying something like "Bruce Campbell Died" you'd kill him by accident.
>>220532128OK, genie lawyer, how would you word it?
>>220532151I'd wish for something like the Death Note but without all the other bullshit that happens in that crappy comic. The exact phrasing would be "I wish for a book with infinite pages that whenever I write someone's name in it while picturing what they look like, it will kill them instantly."
>>220532176No, I need to be able to kill anons on 4chan.
>>220532203"I wish that whenever I send someone a message with the specific phrase [INSERT CHOSEN PHRASE HERE] in it, they will die regardless of whether or not they receive it."Thinking sends no messages, safeguarding your thoughts. Just reply to a shitpost with the killphrase "Laputan Machine" or some shit and that's the job done, even if the guy closes the thread before you send it.
>>220532265Way too traceable, eventually some smart detective like L will be able to link the random basement dwelling chud deaths on 4chan to famous political leaders all getting a certain message on xitter before dying
>>220521549I’m confused he got money so where does entity go
>>220532299Police can only find murderers if they're closely related to the victim. The government can't even find assassins without their families turning them in.
>>220532299That's on you for not being imaginative enough. Verbally address the political leader with the killphrase in a room with no microphones, and it'll do the job because it's predicated on them dying regardless of whether or not they receive it, only that you sent it. You could technically even say "Anonymous poster 220532265 on 4chan's Television & Film Board, I have a message for you: Laputan Machine" and completely remove the digital footprint.
>>220524643there's a funny video on /gif/ of a girl with a fat ass in Brazil slamming her ass on a guy who's leaning back, slams into his head hard, he breaks his arm -- elbow hyperextends.
>>220532044Just wish for the winning lottery numbers, retardThat's more money than most people will ever need If you are unable to make a good life for yourself with that you don't deserve anything
>>220521549I wish molecular bonds didn't exist
I wish... for infinite wishes
>>220521549I thought this was a poster for the Make A Wish Foundation for a moment.
>>220524747now elite have sex with children but thats neither here nor there
I'd have to think about it.
>>220521549I wish that every day would be better than the last, and that I am always happy with the results.
>>220524747How much was Andy Warhol paid to shill for Coca-Cola?
>>220521549To be a sentient dust cloud in space. Or fuck Mia goth. I'll flip a coin.
>>220522666Global birthrate would drop very low
>>220521549infinite wishes but none of them can ever have any negative consequences for me or anyone I care about in any way whatsoever, including this initial wish. and negative consequences include even negative emotions so nothing negative could ever happen that I could potentially even feel guilt over from my wishes. so no monkey paw bullshit.
>>220525090hoping they restock tomorrow
>>220521549>I wish that all my friends on 4chan will stay with me foreverand it came true, see you fellas tomorrow
>>220524711>this is how you get hemmorhoids. i strongly advise you to limit your shitting time.What in the fuck?! Are you serious?! No one told me!
>>220521549Immortality(Stop aging, can't die, heal injuries) for me and my dog
>>220534112So do pakis on the dole.
>>220534554You'll grow crazy from the accumulation of memories.
Loads of money would be cool but I’d wish for something to completely break the current meta like functional dyson spheres across several large stars like the sun
