Fine day, Sunday. In my opinion, best day of the week. Why is that anon?
i do not know
Eight, eight, the burning hateBetween Sunday and MondayHangs a day so darkIt will devastate
>>220559926They're going to have to change this in the HBO MAX series "Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone"From what my English friends tell me Royal Mail don't deliver Monday-Saturday either.
>>220559926Actually Vernon, since the postal services now use private contractors, often employing undeclared and underpaid illegal migrants, you can receive parcels on Sunday.
>>220559926No post on Sundays because it is the Sabbath the Lord's Day, the day of rest. But Unc forgot that wizards worship Satan
>>220559962>>220560434>>220560052>>220560214RIGHT YOU ARE!
>>220560434>>220561288
>>220559926>man with a good job that loves his wife and son is... LE BAD because he doesn't want to associate with some weirdos
>>220560434Such is life when you're raised on leftist WW2 propaganda like potterslop
>>220559926Ra is a mighty god and we all should fear and venerate him
Man, those first 4 movies were pretty great.
>>220561838Who makes this shit up?
>>220561838I've listened to Harry Potter audiobooks to fall asleep every day for 8 years and I'm more racist than ever before.
>>220559926Hero of the films btw. If Potter had just been a normal fucking kid he would have gotten treated normally and Voldecuck wouldn't have even been revived in the first place.Of course, he has to be the bad guy cause Rowling is a dyke who hates normal conservative men.>>220560434Apart from slang retardation, you are correct. Vernon is a practicing Christian, Harry could have been one too but he got manipulated by magic which is satanic (literally the FIRST act of magic Harry EVER does is freeing a serpent from a zoo and talking to it and forcing his innocent cousin into the glass. That's the clearest way of showing Harry was always played by the devil from the start)
>>220559926>Why is that anon?Jannies are not allowed to use electronics
>>220562836Harry's first act of magic (in the films) is freeing the Snake from Eden. That's far out
>>220562836Harry was attacked as a kid by wizard satan because he was wizard jesus and wizard satan left a part of him behind. That's the only reason he can speak to snakes. Harry only wins after he dies and is resurrected free that influence.
>>220560052>“No post EVER?”>Vernon had dropped his biscuit in absolute shock, his hand trembling worse than Aunt Marge’s when the brandy ran out. >“How on earth will Grunnings continue operation? We won’t be able to send mail in orders to replace our sold drills with new stock! We won’t be able to receive customer orders either? Oh my word, I’m ruined without the royal mail! I’ve been such a fool to enjoy my Sabbath rest without having to answer any personal correspondence or receive any pesky bills! I’d give anything to receive post in this household again! Anything!”>As though in answer to Vernon’s pathetic begging, the entire sitting room of Number 4 Privet Drive began to shake, slowly, at first, like a train was passing nearby, but building up steam until Dudley threw himself under the table in a panic, sure there was a earthquake. Then, it happened.>Great cracks in the walls appeared, and pouring out of the crawlspace in terrible gouts, or showering down from the light fittings, which had all sparked and shattered as on, causing Petunia to scream, came hateful letter after hateful letter. Each and every one identical to the last, and all hand written by quill, on dirty great reams of parchment by the vile demon sorcerer Dumbledore.>Each and every one demanded the same, awful price for the resumption of normality in Vernon’s world, for the continuation of his career, which put food on the table for his beloved family.
>>220565432>Vernon looked down, mouth agape in abject horror as the biscuit he had just dropped crumpled away into crumbs, revealing a tiny square of parchment. The parchment unfolded itself once, twice, four times, five times, seven times, eight times (Vernon’s head spun, what he was seeing was impossible!) 9 times! >In emerald ink, in the scratchy handwriting of a barely literate, deeply evil man, was the same demand as the flood of letters now flying outwards, from every drawer, pantry and cabinet in his house, threatening to drown his family!>Give us your Nephew, Mr Vernon. Deliver him unto our coven. We demand it. We won’t take your blood son if you act now. We needs must take him. Bring him to the hidden platform, where we took your sister in law as tribute. Do this as Haefast dawns. Or all your earthly institutions fall. >Vernon wept openly, for the lost boy he had failed to bring to the Lord. He could never save the lad now. He was as hell bound as the arch mage who had left him on the family doorstep all those years ago, his foul arcane presence cursing all the street lights in Privet Drive to need replacing faster than normal to this very day. >He had promised to be a good friend to the family, if they had just raised the orphan left behind by their secretive communities many rituals. But Vernon was just now realising who he had made a bargain with, and just how little the word of the old conjuror of cheap tricks was really worth.
>no roast on sundays
>>220563750Voldemort’s first act is talking to snakes. There’s a strong association with a boy being visited by a talking serpent, who whispers to him, before he unlocks his esoteric potential. It comes up again and again in Joanne’s writing.
>>220559926I feel like this character is a racist caricature of white britons
hi zach
>>220566774I don’t want to presume your gender, but you just assured me that I could speak. Look, a non crime hate incident? Gentlemen, this is transgender ideology manifest. Have a look at the leglock jinx here, see that wizard over there? he- GET YOUR HAND OFF MY PENIS! This is the woman (male) who got me on the penis people. Why did you do this to me, for what reason, what is the charge? Enjoying a Sunday? A fine, postal delivery free Sunday? With my ethnically non diverse, white, Christian british family? Oh, that's a nice leglock jinx sir, oh, ah yes, I see that you know your dark arts well. Good one. And you sir (female), are you waiting to receive my limp penis? How dare - get your bloody letters off me! No blasted letters today! No, sir! Not one single bloody letter! Not one! No sir! Not one blasted, miserable letter! He will NOT be going I tell you! I will not pay to have some crackpot old fool teach him about 47 new genders!
>>220566863>“I’m gonna go yell at me bloody incel son for no reason” Uncle Vernon said, calmly. >Aunt Petunia enthusiastically agreed, as always. >He stretched his legs up to Dudley’s room. >“Listen Dudley, you little gobshite, iffen you wanted me to bother learnin’ anything that’s going on in your sad little incel life, maybe you oughta bloody pass history class! You think acceptance into Smeltings come free do you? It don’t bloody grow out back on tree I’ll tell you that for bloody free. You’re turteen years old and all our Dudley. Hurry up and shag a few slags, otherwise the neighbours will think you’re bent. I will NOT have mad old mrs figg down the road talking about how my bloody incel son is a bent bloody nonce. My patience is wearing incredibly thin because you are still doing computers in your room and you have lied to me”.
>>220559926No spam on Sundays
>>220559926no shitposts on sundays
>>220568125What do you think Aunt Petunia makes for Vernon’s Sunday brekky fry up? Bacon, obviously. I think he’s a bit unconventional. When he’s sure the neighbours aren’t looking, he requests his egg and toast be combined. Toad in the hole. Perverse in a fry up. But he redeems himself with a second piece of toast, covered in baked beans. Sausages? Yes, a couple of pork chippolatahs, quite a healthy one. BOSH. And then pudding? Yes, but he’s a white pudding man. Not racist or nothing, he just doesn’t like black puddings. Simple as. No mushrooms or tomato. That’s rabbit food. Potatoes? That’s what the Americans and the Irish do, and they’re the same bloody thing! I think he chases this down with a lovely steaming cup of bovril. He loves the umami taste.
>>220568219Imagine Vernon screwing up his fat face until it goes a sickly shade of puce with concentration, trying to think of an effortpost he can put on the local community facebook. Because it’s Sunday and he can’t just throw shade at the other men’s lawns on the Lord’s day.Eventually he becomes too irritated after realising he has nothing meaningful to contribute, so he corners Harry in the sitting room and explains to him, at length, how Latvian immigrants are ruining his community and how builder’s tea is the only way a real man takes his cuppa. He excuses the four sugars per cup by claiming that men who work in construction need to keep themselves on their feet. Because he sells drills, he counts himself as an honorary blue collar man, and waddles off to the kitchen to see it Petunia is there to make him a couple of rounds of bacon butties with brown sauce.
Sunday?Because it's the Lords day.
>>220566774>I feel like this character is a racist caricature of white britonsNot all White Britons but the Dursley family are definitely a caricature of suburban middle class English people and all the negative traits Rowling saw in them
>>220559926What was Uncle Vernon’s postal receipt policy? Did he sign for packages at the door, or would he make the pilgrimage down to the holy land of british bureaucracy, (his local post office) so he had an excuse to while away 20 minutes gossiping with the man behind the counter every time he ordered in a new test model of drill? It’s hard to say, because he could always show off his freshly manicured lawn to the postman who stopped by. Either way, I know for an absolute fact that every single time Vernon passed a post box with either of his two boys, he would point out that the HR embossed on the side stood for Her Reign, referring to the Queen of Engand, and he would tear up every single time he explained this.
>>220565473Uncle Vernon definitely prefers Roast Pork, which he considers the king of all roasts, simply because it comes with scratching. No idea if he thinks cauliflower is traditional though.
>>220559926>bring me my coffee boyWhat on earth did Vernon mean by this? And what could he possibly have needed a “coffee boy” for?
>>220568339careful nowyou're posting in a satanic tranny thread
>>220559926you will all watch this masterfully created youtube poop right now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ_b5g2kwKk&t=1s
>>220567067lmao
>>220568740JK Rowling may be a fallen heathen but Uncle Vernon has no truck with such nonsense. He could serve as an exorcist, simply by walking into a room with a possessed person. As soon as the possessed person said: “Hour hour arrives soon, and Lord Satan will reign over all Earthly matters” Vernon would reflexively say“That sounds like nonsense to me, I haven’t got anything about a reign of terror in my schedule. No, if that was coming, I’d have read about it in the Daily Mail. Now stop acting so bloody unnatural!”The demon would be forced to flee before him, for he does no evil.
Why is this dude using ai to reply to posts in this thread in hour intervals
>>220570330It’s not AI, I’m mentally ill.
Wagies are filled with existential dread while i chillmax and sleep in tomorrow.
>>220559926>Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday saturday Friday
>>220570399I’m stood down from work (with pay) for having a mutual crash out with my fuckwit coworker. We’re probably both getting fired, but it works for me cos he loves his job. Weird old head who wants to keel over on the job one day. It’ll be worth going back on the dole for a bit to take the only thing he has left in his sad little life away from him.Anyway it’s raining outside and I’m comfy maxing rn. I’m guaranteed my holiday pay when they fire me. No need to worry yet. That’s a problem for next week me.
>>220561838JK Rowling literally redpilled me on trannies
>>220570425Days of the week ranked:Saturday>Sunday>>Tuesday>Friday>ThursdayPOWER GAPWednesday>>>Monday (I fucking hate Mondays)
>>220562552better be the Jim Dale kino version
>>220570514JK Rowling literally blueballed me in a little bed and breakfast just outside of Colchester. You win some you lose some.
CARROTSARROTARTSS
>toil on the morrowit looms...
>>220570597The Lords day would be tippity top if the eternal agony of the ginger cat didn’t loom in it’s shadow. Oh lawdy help me, I don’t want to answer any emails.
>>220570514I see the news hasn't made it to the pretend anti tranny tourists like you about her pro tranny stance nowVery interesting how selective the tribe is about this sort of thing
… lunchtime wearing my excellent glasses watching live ATP Rome doubles final on Sky Sports tennis on my tv via sky stream in home ...
>>220570665A Beck's, a simple Beck's. Up on the South Downs, a haversack full of Beck's? That's the dream, ain't it?
>>220570665You renting a room?Also what's that loose frame doing all crooked on the table.Focken silly
>>220570480Good on you man, stand your ground.
>>220571137Thanks anon. Update, they’ve moved to sending me a show cause letter. Fuck yeah, it’s time for an unfair dismissal case.
>>220570552It is.
