Tycho Nestoris edition>>222239543
>>222246779reminder westeros is broke because cersei refused to pay the iron bank
Sex with Alyssane Blackwood
>*teaches your kids some Dornish*
STANNISSTANNISSTANNIS
>>222246814They didn't show ser Criston's dead body, he is still alive. Black Aly patched him up and keeps him in her tent as her whore.
THE TIDE
>one of the 3 pretenders for Aegon the II's thrown>Gaemon Palehair>his title?>The Cunny KingUHH George?
>>222246884>They didn't show ser Criston's dead bodyanon i...
>last thing Euron sees before flopping and getting pissed on
Do you think you could make the eight, anon?
>>222246919I drive
>>222246919i can't even make the one
>>222246919>3D real world whoresPass.
bad pussy
>>222246894I’m beginning to think George has other reasons for wanting his harddrive destroyed after his death
>>222246884checks out, considering she's Jewish and all
>>222246919I don't even have a gf irl
>KING Tytos fooking Blackwood....>... drinking wine from the skull of Bitter fooking Sneed
>>222246946Which house would Asuka be from?
>>222246910He's just sleeping...
>>222246992Crakehall.
>>222246992Bracken
>>222246779Mark GAYtiss
THE RATCATCHERS
>>222246919I stay in Riverrun.
Maegor with teats
>>222246941Why did he sperg out and decide to murder his 13 year old cousin, thus ensuring the Dance of Dragons?
>>222247061Little shit was asking for it.
>>222247077How? By being an envoy and telling him he wasn't going to fight him?
>>222246919>You have been challenged by The KingHarveygon the Unworthy?
>>222247061>>222247098because a foid taunted himI shit you not
>>222246919I go straight to Lady Royce, spend all my points on her repeatedly and then tell the King to get fucked by a boar.
>>222247116>REEEEE FUCKING FOID!>COME HERE NEPHEW NOW YOU LITTLE SHIT! I'M GONNA FUCKING MURDER YOU!
>>222247036FOOLISHNESS, AEGON
>>222247151unironically yesgeorge "the woman hater" martin strikes again
History will record Ser Hand Criston Cole, after winning his last battle that was a surprise attack, was cowardly struck down with arrows after demanding two against one duel to spare his men.
>>222247061Haven't watched season 1 in a while but isn't it shown to be an accident? Luke's dragon panics and breathes fire at him, and in retaliation Vhagar snaps them in half.
>>222247184it was an accident but not like that, aemond was chasing luke and he lost control of his dragon and ate the small dragon
>>222246884I think they will parade his head on a spike, there's a picture of Alicent shocked that ppl are speculating is either Helaenas suicide or her seeing Cristons head.
>>222246779>weakest Braavosi bankerTycho is hilarious as a concept, dude is a mid-level wagie who due to random bureaucratic reasons is assigned the account that requires dealing with ice zombies, multi-faction civil wars, and other insanity just so somebody will make a monthly payment on their loan.
>>222247253not only that he also exposed the karstak to stannis
>>222247217And gouging out both eyes from his nephew’s lifeless corpse and presenting them to the Baratheon girl was an accident too, I am quite sure.
>>222247293no, we are talking about the show (as anon said I haven watched s1 in a while) in the book there is no accident he wanted to kill him
>>222247293No that was intentional but he was already dead so might as well dunk and that whore
>When she got to the part where she threw Joffrey's sword into the middle of the Trident, Renly Baratheon began to laugh. The king bristled. "Ser Barristan, escort my brother from the hall before he chokes." [...] Lord Renly stifled his laughter. "My brother is too kind. I can find the door myself." He bowed to Joffrey. "Perchance later you'll tell me how a nine-year-old girl the size of a wet rat managed to disarm you with a broom handle and throw your sword in the river." As the door swung shut behind him, Ned heard him say, "Lion'sTooth," and guffaw once more.>Lord Renly laughed. "We're fortunate my brotherStannisis not with us. Remember the time he proposed to outlaw brothels? The king asked him if perhaps he'd like to outlaw eating, shitting, and breathing while he was at it. If truth be told, I ofttimes wonder howStannisever got that ugly daughter of his. He goes to his marriagebedlike a man marching to a battlefield, with a grim look in his eyes and a determination to do his duty."heh based fag
You now realize that Dunk most likely impregnates Shiara Seastar, thereby cucking both Bittersteel and Bloodraven. And Shiara is probably Briennes great grandma.
>>222247253I love the idea that Westeros is seen as this annoying, unpleasant backwater that's not important enough for the Iron Bank's full attention. Like the equivalent of some big Wall Street bank loaning out money to Zimbwabwe or something.
>>222246919>here’s your Gatehouse Ami, bro
>>222247339I want to like Renly but then I remember that he didn't even think the Baratheon kids were illegitimate, he was just going to kill them because they were in the way
>>222247036Might be one day the Seven Kingdoms would have need of those rat catchers.
>>222246941Why did the writers make Aemond's killing of Luke in S1 accidental if they're gonna make Aemond a cartoonishly evil bad guy in the later seasons?
>>222247386Aemond isn't cartoonishly evil in the show. He is actually one of the very few innocent characters. His only sin is burning Aegon, and Aegon had been a totally asshole to him his whole life.
>>222247242>Alicent caring about Cole's deathlol, lmao even
>>222247421Also he will make up with him and it will be this cool dramatic scene where aemond gets a little redemption before he (willingly and knowing he will die) has his duel with daemon
>>222247421>He is actually one of the very few innocent characters.Doesn't he kill a ton of innocent people in the Riverlands>His only sin is burning Aegon, and Aegon had been a totally asshole to him his whole lifeSetting your brother on fire because he pranked you once seems a bit extreme
>>222247447>innocent people>in the Riverlands
>>222247447>Doesn't he kill a ton of innocent people in the RiverlandsApparently not, it was vjagar being rogue
>>222247374What?
>>222247253>>222247352Tycho Nestoris is my favorite ASOIAF Glup Shitto. A middle manager at a bank literally just walking through the apocalyptic bullshit all the other characters in the Norf have to deal with so he can figure out the financing on some loans is so funny. He feels like a character Douglas Adams would have come up with
>>222247374Renly makes no sense. >Zero claim to throne since he believes Roberts kids are true, and he is younger than Stannis>Would be in line right behind Stannis anyway since Stannis' wife is too old to bear children and Shireen has GreyscaleWhy civil war with Stannis? You are already Lord of Storms End and you would have a place at court, likely as Hand of The King.
>>222247436Aemond and Daemon don't duel in the show. They are on completely different story arcs.
>>222247352if nothing else they have a tremendous amount of raw resources for Braavos to exploit, the North has almost unlimited lumber which Braavos needs for their navy. I think the show storyline of Sam finding proof of who Jon is will actually be Jaqen H'ghar in the books. >iron bank gives Jon a loan despite both sides knowing he has no means to pay it off. Jon is even suspicious about how easy it was and how good the terms were compared to what he expected>faceless men have Arya, sent to them by Jaqen>faceless men have a dragon egg from Euron as payment>Jaqen has a key that gives him access to all the most secret info the Citadel hasIron bank will twist Jon's arm into going for the crown for multiple reasons
>>222247527because he was right, stannis would be a horrible king
>>222247527Renly did know the Lannisters were bastards. Where the fuck are you getting the opposite from? His “claim” was irrelevant, he had the backing of the Stormlands and the Reach. Why wait for Stannis to die when he could take it now?
>>222247545For the traitors and schemers mayhaps.
>>222247527>>222247545This. Stannis and his hard adherence to the rules made him no friends and no allies besides his Dragonstone vassals. He would have been a shit king.
>>222247527Renly’s whole claim is basically “I’m so fucking cool, and I’m tired of pretending I’m not”
>>222247534Jon is dead in the books, retard.
>>222247497Renly wasn't aware of the incest or that Joffrey/Tommen/Myrcella were bastards. As far as he knew, he was scheming to steal the throne from his legitimate nephews/niece, which almost certainly would have meant killing them all.
>>222247578>no friendsFalse!
>>222247532They have a pact on the isle of faces because they both know the prophecy and they allow themselves to be sacrificed by greenmen, and then vhagar and caraxes go insane and kill each other once they sense their riders die
>>222247511He's not even a glup shitto when he's in the fucking show
Besides Mysaria and Rhaenyra having lesbian sex, are there any spoilers?
>>222247339we were denied the REAL Renly(MANLY Fag) and instead got the gay little twink afraid of blood and both him and Loras dress like fancy fops and girly men
>>222247597Yes he did. His entire plan initially was to marry Margaery to Robert. He says she resembles Lyanna. Why would the Tyrells go along with this when they could’ve married her to a legitimate Joffrey?
>>222247600That’s not even enough to raid a pantry
>>222247545So would Renly.All the institutional rot that had characterized Robert's reign would just continue under him.
>>222247545>>222247578Ironically, Stannis probably would have been an excellent Hand for Renly. And Renly was offering him Storm's End, which was all he ever wanted. It all comes back to the Baratheon brothers just not particularly liking or trusting each other.
>>222247648Maria Seaworth would have given Davos 20 good men herself if not for the impish sorcery.
>>222247597I'm sure he knew, just didn't want to openly express it or have proof for supposedly treasonous claims
>>222247600I said BESIDES his Dragonstone Vassals. Davos is one of his vassals.
>>222246852Who is the dude under Clayton Suggs?
>>222247511>"zombie apocalypse for the first time in 8000 years?">"all the same, the Iron Bank will have its due"Tycho is going to learn about Craster's deal with the Others and end up solving the situation by negotiating a peace deal and then loan terms with the Corpse Queen
>>222247527Renly would have won the war handedly if the shadow baby didn't assassinate him. He had the largest army by far, and an alliance with the Tyrells, and was close to a truce with Robb. He would have smoked Stannis army and then laid seige to Kings Landing, and with the Tyrells in his side and not on the Lannister side, Tywin would not be able to break the seige. It was basically game over.
>>222247693Davos is a Stormland vassal technically bit I get it because he spends most of his time in Dragonstone
>>222247545Stannis would be Maekar 2.0
>>222247421>He is actually one of the very few innocent characters.This post was clearly not made by one of the civilians living in Sharp Point
>>222247673If Robert, Stannis and Renly had been one person, they would have been the greatest king Westeros had ever seen.
It's just boring, man. The whole set up the previous two seasons was for Rhaenyra to take the throne and now she has but she fucking sucks at it and it's for hella contrived reasons and she's just going to die. So what's the point?
>>222247650>tfw the ancien regime of Westeros is fundamentally rotten, and only by throwing off the shackles of the old feudal state can the people of the Seven Kingdoms truly prosper
>>222247730>the greatest king Westeros had ever seen.and horniest
>>222247763Stannis neutralizes the horniness.
>>222247763>the Robert in them wants to plow a bunch of women>the Renly wants to fuck a bunch of knights>the Stannis getting bullied by both of them
>>222247763>Your Grace, why do you insist on receiving those men and women from Lyse in private audiences, rather than in the throne room?>Why don't you mind your fucking business, Ned
>>222247627-Alicent kills Aemond but Alys resurrects him by sacrificing a dragons egg-Haelena commits suicide after figuring out Alicent gave her moon tea in the soup. This resurrects Sunfyre.-Gwayne learns thar Ormund plans to kill Joffrey, and rides out to Kings Landing with intent to warn Rhaenyra
>>222247796he technically has a mistress. Bisexual orgies only AFTER council meetings
>>222247783*executes the dornish WHORE before she can commit treason against the crown*
>>222247386
>>222247545Renly would bring societal collapse within a generation if he won. Every ambitious 2nd or 3rd son would start overthrowing their siblings and use Renly as justification
>>222247730The Stag has three heads.
>>222246919What did you use to make this?A lot of the options are shite so I want to make a better version
>>222247809>Lyse*Lys
>>222247650>All the institutional rot that had characterized Robert's reignWasn’t all this rot caused by Lannisters and Robert not given a fuck about his duties? Meanwhile, Renly is Tyrell/Reach oriented, and seems to be enjoying all the royal routine much more than Bob
>>222247718>And thus Middle Earth was saved by Aragorn's wise tax policiesBravo, GRRM.
>>222247828Tbf the Dance arguably set that precedent already.>>222247841NTA but even before Robert's Rebellion, the whole realm was clearly a shitshow. The crown had basically completely lost control, to the point that you've got the Starks/Baratheons/Tullys/Arryn practically screaming "HEY WE'RE FORMING AN ALLIANCE AND WE'RE GONNA OVERTHROW YOU"
>>222247818>treason against the cro-ACK
>>222247874It's d*rne's fault btw.
>>222247874>"HEY WE'RE FORMING AN ALLIANCE AND WE'RE GONNA OVERTHROW YOU"This was initially a plot to put Rhaegar on the throne before the incident.
>>222247841Littlefinger and Varys have done their fair part of undermining the realm.Renly enjoys pomp, circumstance, and other people liking him. He's very much like Robert in the last regard and is not going to start looking at the day to day operations too closely as long as he gets to have his pageantry.
>dorne is the root cause of every bad thing that happened in Westeros over the last 150 yearsimagine the golden age if the RIGHTFUL king had won and put all dornoids to the sword
>>222247841It had been festering for a long time, but yes, the Lannisters and Robert's unwillingness to really 'rule' furthered it a lot. Renly was meanwhile allied with literally the BEST of all the 7 kingdoms, the Reach. Renly also seemed smart enough that he'd let other, more experienced or suitable people run things.All he would need to do is play the King that everyone loves, which would be easy for him, and put a baby in Margery, which he would do, since he knows his duty.
>>222247880S Q U E A L I N G L I K E A P I GA N D S M E L L I N G L I K E A P R I V Y
Reminder that Littlefinger also started Robert's Rebellion
>>222247935Another reason to hate the d*rnoids.
>>222247935You know who else did nothing wrong?May the meatgrinder continue
He comes....
>>222247944Yes, Margaery would give him many strong sons.
Daemon Blackfyre was Baelor's child
>>222247915All Rhaegar had to do was NOT get seduced by that fucking schizo norfman girl...
>>222247828Do these 2nd and 3rd sons have the backing of the Stormlands and the Reach? I don’t think people actually understand what was going on with Renly and Stannis. Stannis was doomed and only had his island’s vassals and some Essosi mercenaries. He could never actually press his claim. Plus the Tyrells knew he was pissed off with them because of the siege and would never work with them. Renly would’ve swept Stannis aside if he didn’t assassinate him.
>>222247874tully's were honestly useless in that arrangement. Not only are their lands easily invaded, but they can't control half their vassals and are weaker than most of them as well. Vale and North should have just declared independence, have Ned marry one of Jon Arryn's nieces and their son becomes the future King of the Vale. Form a triarchy alliance with Braavos and they are literally untouchable
>>222246852I really hoped the leaked summary of Winds of Winter was real, if only due to how Stannis's plotline goes forward.Also I can actually believe that Melissandra was the one who wrote the pink letter.
>>222247834Photopea
>>222247840>those men and women from Lyse
>>222247953Aerys got SLAPASLAP’d
>>222247944>he'd let other, more experienced or suitable people run things.That's what Robert did, it didn't turn out well because the experienced people still need a tardwrangler, that would be the role of the kingHe's not just there for show, he's supposed to keep the council in line and I don't know if Renly would have done that
>>222248003>Do these 2nd and 3rd sons have the backing of the Stormlands and the Reach?They don't have to, they just need to have more backing than the firstborn sons and Renly won't be able to tell them to stop without debunking himself.
>>222247995Supposedly, this is unironically how it's presented in the play. Rhaegar has the best PR team in Westeros.
>>222247828Honest question do people who think Renly taking over will collapse the notion of monarchy have zero knowledge of European history? I can think of multiple examples of the top of my head from English history alone where a guy more distant in the line of succession succeeds ahead of his brother or cousin and long term it doesn't have much affect once the succeeding dynasty is on the throne for long enough and things stabalise. The Baratheons have been on the throne for less than a single generation after violently overthrowing the preceding dynasty they're inherently unstable.
>>222247673Stannis would be a horrible hand absolutely no ability with politics he'd also be a horrible king to be hand for if he found out anything you did was too lenient
>More mom x son sex tonightI'm tired
>>222247995Could you really blame him?
>>222247386Simple. They weren't sure if they wanted to introduce Daeron and wanted to mix Aemond and Daeron in one character, that's literally it. Anyone could see it with the way they had written Aemond in S1.
>>222248042Renly could always just make up a claim of Stannis being a bastard or some other treasonous acts.Hell, he didn't even NEED to make up treasonous acts, wasn't Stannis at this point already burning Septs? Is that considered treason?
>>222248097>burning septsBlackwoods did that and no one cared.
>>222248003they don't need the backing of kingdoms, just a few vassals. This would happen at every level of the nobility>ambitious minor lord promises landless knights and men at arms all sorts of rewards if they help him take out his brother>2nd son of lord paramount goes to vassals not happy with his father/brother, promises rewards if they help him overthrow themyou'd have constant localized wars over inheritance, only winners would be the Iron Bank and sellswords
>>222247944Nigger this is literally what Robert Baratheon did - chill out and have fun while leaving the actual day-to-day ruling to an experienced council.
>>222248082
>>222248097>Renly could always just make up a claim of Stannis being a bastard or some other treasonous acts.That would be tantamount to calling his own mother a whore and his father a cuckold. Also it would call his own parentage into question.
>>222248116of course not, they are GRRM's special super secret donutsteel OC too cool for school house!
>>222247981The man who bend, bowed and broke Dorne
>>222247874Don't forget the Lannisters, Hoster was clearly trying to get Tywin on their side by marrying Jaime to Lysa. Hell, if Joanna hadn't died, mayhaps even Dorne would be on the plot by marrying Cersei to Oberyn (God knows why Joanna wanted to marry her only daughter to a second son with no title or power)
>>222247981Gurm be like>hmm today I will make a white alexander the great but he'll die to the persians immediately after conquering them
>>222248147Okay then just make up random charges and claims, the smallfolk will believe literally anything because they're illiterate retards.
>>222247981>going into a dangerous war against an enemy with no honor>heir is your insane younger brother who is obsessed with religion>don't get married and ensure you have 1 or 2 kids before starting the warwhy didn't he just have sex? He doomed the Targs
>>222247744>So what's the point?That's the point - it was a gigantic civil war that killed tens of thousands of people - if not more - and it was completely unnecessary and could've been solved at a council table or a duel. And the royal candidates on both sides were wildly incompetent.
>>222248226Sex is for subhumans like the dornish
>the man who bend-ACKKKKKK ALSO IM GAY!!!
>>222248119Stannis wasn’t not on the throne. He was a claimant pressing his claim. The idea that Renly’s example would spur second or third sons to be more liable to usurping their siblings is just a contrived.
>>222247339>that ugly daughter of hisAt least GRRM was accurate in portraying faggots as women-haters.
>>222248038To be fair I don't think we ever find out how Renly is at... Stewardship? He's presented as something of a cunning politician willing to backstab so I guess he's got that down. But unless I'm forgetting we don't find out if things are better or worse in the Storrmlands since he took over, or how he does as Master of Laws (hell I still don't get what that job is justice in Westeros is devolved to local nobles there's no JPs or parliament you need a role like Lord Chancellor for)
>>222248228Do you think he ever read old history books trying to figure out how his ancestors manage to fumble TWENTY dragons in the span of like ten months
>>222248247>he, we are evil trecherous whores, OWNEDDo dornemonkeys have no shame
>>222248226It's an important part of Alexandermaxxing.
>>222247874>The crown had basically completely lost control, to the point that you've got the Starks/Baratheons/Tullys/Arryn practically screaming "HEY WE'RE FORMING AN ALLIANCE AND WE'RE GONNA OVERTHROW YOU"That’s mostly on this guy
>>222248273>He's presented as something of a cunning politician willing to backstabBecause he didn’t support his older brother who nobody liked and who nobody would support? If the Baratheons didn’t get the Tyrell support they were done and Joffrey would’ve dealt with his “uncles” one way or another.
the Indians hate dorne. I now love dorne
>>222248339Femoids and redditors like le Targaryens invadersI like Dorne
>>222248247why do dornemonkeys have no concept of honor?how the fuck does d*rne even 'function' when they're all backstabbing snakes and whores?
>>222245224>If Daemon had ridden over Gwayne Corbray...>If Fireball had not been slain on the eve of battle...>If Hightower and Tarbeck and Oakheart and Butterwell had lent us their full strength instead of trying to keep one foot in each camp...>If Manfred Lothston had proved true instead of treacherous...>If storms had not delayed Lord Bracken's sailing with the Myrish crossbowmen...>If Quickfinger had not been caught with the stolen dragon's eggs...people clown on Eustace for this, but remember the context of this being written after Robb's death in Storm of Swords and at the same time as Feast/Dancereplace Eustace with Greatjon or Wyman in a world where the Starks never got a chance at revenge. They are old boomers who have to kiss Bolton and Lannister ass and hear their grandkids talking about how evil Robb Stark was for breaking guest right and turning into a wolf at the Red Wedding and get laughed at when they say they would have won IF Lysa Tully had sent the Vale, if Bolton was true instead of treacherous, if Edmure Tully had recognized what Robb and Blackfish had planned, etc. It's literally what fans cope about, but most are too retarded to get it.he's LITERALLY you no cap fr fr
>>222248314>touch your hand's wife boobs and ass during her wedding, then call him a servant (he is the richest and meanest guy in westeros)>ragebait Rhaegar by raping his mother (your wife), then confront him to ragebait him more (he won't do shit)>Do picrel to the heir of the Stormlands>Troll Tywin a bit more by taking Jaime in the kingsguard>When your son fucks up burn 2 Starks alive, as a treat>Demand an Arryn to give you the heads of his two wardsNow that the dust has settled, why did he do it?
"Fire and Blood"
>>222248189>white alexander the greatBecause historical Alexander was famously the black lesbian woman
>>222248373This princess killed thousands of Dornish for her own pride
>>222248339I do not base my opinions on things around smelly jeets If you do, you are as spiritually brown as they are
>>222248337I don't mean cunning and willing to backstab necessarily negatively its frankly a pretty valuable skill for a king in this era. Look at Henry I. Jumped the line of succession was an absolute cunt and was one of the best Kings England ever had.
>>222248337>Because he didn’t support his older brother who nobody liked and who nobody would support?And yet he's the only one of the Five Kings still alive.
>>222248280One of the better scenes of HOTD S3 is when Daemon says to his wife "you know we can just conquer ourselves a new empire, right?" And that should've been the actual deterrent against a civil war in the first place.>Hey, we don't want this guy/girl to sit on the throne, so how about we conquer a new kingdom, set Candidate #1 on its throne and Candidate #2 on Westeros's throne?
>>222248427Thousands of hersTens of thousands of theirs
>>222248247He might he died to the cowardly tactics of the Dornish but that won't change the fact that "Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken" now has to hold an asterisk for that one time this wasn't the case.
>>222248381He's right, some of those things really were completely unfortunate circumstancesA random storm delaying the reinforcements, or Daemon being too honorable to just kill his enemiesStrategically, it was a winnable rebellion because most lords didn't care enough about Daeron to intervene
>the third wordlists are complaining about Valyrian colonization again
Daeron II was definitely the Dragonknight’s son. Even Maester Aemon doesn’t deny it.
>>222248441yeah, because sissynis is a cowardly beta male and knew Renly would crush him on the field so he fucked a demon worshipping cunt and she gave birth to a literal shadow demon that killed Renly.
>>222248337Stannis offered to make him his heir and clearly was never going to have a son of his own. Renly is a retard for not taking the deal, almost as dumb as Balon. GRRM induces stupidity in any scenario that would logically result in the Lannisters getting wiped out
>>222248484Unfortunately there are IRL kingdoms/empires who succeeded purely by better logistics and/or being able to throw more men into the meatgrinder. Chief examples being Russia and the Roman Empire.
>>222248391He's a funny ladDidn't take Jamie's joke all that we though
why was corlys just chilling with like 8 dudes out in the wood where anything can happen. it's poor writing desu
>>222248500Stannis has never lost a battle, either on the open field, a siege, or a naval one.Renly has never fought a battle in his life.
>>222248484>thinks the Dornish didn't take overwhelming causalities during the first Dornish warIt was fought on their soil and they used the lives of their own smallfolk like if was going out of fashion.I wouldn't be surprised if the reason Dorne has a such a small population compared to the other kingdoms is that their retard-brand guerilla wars caused a demographic crisis.
>>222248494And that's a good thing
>>222248484well there would be a lot more Dornish dead than anyone else considering how much the dragons burn
>dornegroids and their the 'people' who make up their fanbase celebrate dornescum and their treacherous waysthere's literally no way dorne should even be able to survive on it's own, just like the iron isles>>222248550So why did sissynis summon a literal demon to kill his brother?literal beta male rage because Renly was growing big and tall like Robert
>>222248518>GRRM induces stupidityYou cannot possibly know Stannis will have no sons, or that the tyrells wouldn't just go team Lannister when Rely takes the offer, you are expecting characters to have hindsight of every single event every single time they make a decision when every single conflict in history is full of mistakes on both sides.
>>222248427They were willing to die to defend their lands. They died heroes
>>222248549That's the Velaryon trap house.
>>222248391Jaime joined Kingsguard hoping he will be able to fuck Cersei after he marries Rhaegar kek.
>>222248482Targs were genuine retards>don't put restrictions on who gets dragon eggs or who can claim wild dragons>don't account for how to deal with ambitious dragon riders>guarantee civil war with mass destructionliterally just make a deal with Braavos to ensure you don't get killed by Faceless Men, say you will help them end slavery and get rich in the process. Any prince who wants glory can go and fight with his dragon against the free cities or Dothraki
>>222248549Because assassination attempts outside of cities would be extremely rare. For once you'd actually have to find your targets. Can't exactly use drones, radar or a fucking GPS.
>>222248518Why would Renly settle with being Stannis’ heir? He has the entirety of the Stormlands and the Reach and all the fire power. Stannis literally has his island and a couple of sellswords.>almost as dumb as BalonBalon attacks the north because he would only be able to take Lannisport, and only briefly hold it, before getting KWAB’d. His northern strategy was actually the better option but Theon fucked it up.
>>222248518>Stannis offered to make him his heir and clearly was never going to have a son of his ownabout 2/3s of Renlys army was only there on the promise Margery is going to become queen he cannot turn round to them and say "OK she'll be queen in about 2 decades instead the guys infertile cool?"
>>222246779So, what do the leaks say about this episode pre-season finale. Worth a watch or just another waste of time?
>>222248529The Targaryens in this case had more men, much much more. And they lost.
>>222248579Those peasants felt like real heroes as they were burned alive by dragons
>>222248596The truth of the matter is that the very fact wild dragons even exist means they're completely incompetent.Secondly, it also makes no sense that MOST of the dragonriders don't just fuck off to either conquer/found their own kingdoms or become fabulously wealthy mercenaries.
>>222248578>has been married for 20 years>has one sickly girlStannis isn't getting a son. Renly had already married Marge at this point and Lannisters are on the ropes. The tyrells aren't going to flip sides
>>222246814
>>222248622Tf Is Olenna going to do about it? Send 20 good men to steal back Big Marge and have the marriage annulled?
>>222248590Yes, but it was expected that Aerys would politely refuse, for obvious reasons. He didn't because he wanted to make Tywin mald
>>222248622>win the war>look the other way when Olenna organizes for Stannis to be poisoned in 3-5 yearsdamn that was hard
Why does Emma D'Arcy have so much sway in the writers room?
>>222248661i still can't the photoshoot this image is from
>>222248482When you think about it, it's actually kind of weird that the Targs stayed confined to Westeros. With dozens of dragons at their disposal, you'd think they would have began thinking about retaking their old empire in Essos. Imagine what Vhagar could do to an army of Dothraki or Unsullied on an open plain.
>be dornegroid '''prince/princess'''>hmmm the people who feed us want us to listen to them?>NOOOOO UNBOWED UNBENT UNBROKEN!>throw thousands upon thousands of your smallfolk into a meatgrinder against dragons>superior invading force gets tired, bored, and a little sad at mass murdering smallfolk>lmao we'll be back someday>h-he-he we kicked their asses>eventually someone does come back>he's kicking dornish asses>again>this time without the dragons>make peace and accept his win>but your '''smallfolk'''(who you used as cheap cannon fodder) keep rebelling>they kill the lord Paramount of the Reach who's watching over Dorne for the time>new Conqueror comes back and starts beating your asses AGAIN>beg for peace AGAIN>he's only 18 so he falls for your dornish tricks as he doesn't know the way of the dornish rat yet>he arrives with just a handful of guards and a couple kingsguard knights>ambush him because you used a peace deal as a place to murder himwhy the fuck does ANYONE like dornegroids?
>>222248611fuck assassination attempts nigga. the local big lord is alone with 8 dudes in the woods. a small band of brigands could just stumble upon them and kill them all.
>>222248653How long is Stannis going to live? What if he lives 20 more years, and Renly gets the crown in his 50s?What if he start implementing reforms that directly contraddict what Renly wants to do, which is exactly what's happening?Renly had NO REASON to accept his deal beacuse he had a 100% assured victory over the Lannisters already. You have to understand that Stannis offer makes no sense to him because, since he cannot predict the shadow baby, he knows he will sit the throne in literally 2 weeks. It's a slam dunk for Renly, he ALREADY won the war when he married Margaery
Get rekt ValyriaNIGGERS
>>222248391>touch your hand's wife boobs and ass during her wedding, then call him a servant (he is the richest and meanest guy in westeros)The best part is that since Aerys and Tywin were friends at one point, Aerys would have to be aware that Tywin has a fabrege egg for an ego and that this type of insult would get him permanently on the guy's shit list. And he fucking did it anyway lol
>>222248686no one likes them because of the horrible writingthat being said tyane is my wife
>>222248685But that wasn't part of the prophecy bro
>>222248682she's cute in costume
>>222248688King Władysław II Jagiełło, ruler of pic related, would go out into the woods for bird-watching ALONE well into his 70s, often NAKED.
>>222248613At the time Balon decides to attack the North, Robb had just destroyed the last army in the Westerlands. Every remaining castle had 50-100 men defending it at most. And the Reach was also completely exposed with all the men at Bitterbridge. Exact same opportunity as the Red Kraken and Balon chooses to invade the North, which only has things that the North would have gladly traded them(aka lumber they need for ships)
>>222248683She sent it privately to me
>I could be like the uncle who killed your brothers dad!What the fuck did she mean by this
>Ser Ronnet was a landed knight, no more. For any such, the Maid of Tarth would have been a sweet plum indeed. “How is it that you did not wed?” Jaime asked him.>“Why, I went to Tarth and saw her. I had six years on her, yet the wench could look me in the eye. She was a sow in silk, though most sows have bigger teats. When she tried to talk she almost choked on her own tongue. I gave her a rose and told her it was all that she would ever have from me.” Connington glanced into the pit. “The bear was less hairy than that freak, I’ll—”>Jaime’s golden hand cracked him across the mouth so hard the other knight went stumbling down the steps. His lantern fell and smashed, and the oil spread out, burning. “You are speaking of a highborn lady, ser. Call her by her name. Call her Brienne.”>Connington edged away from the spreading flames on his hands and knees. “Brienne. If it please my lord.” He spat a glob of blood at Jaime’s foot. “Brienne the Beauty.”
>>222248712>w-we killed one of the dragons>gets literally every single hold besides two burned to the ground and thousands upon thousands of their people killed for itno seriously how the FUCK does dorne even survive?it's a fucking mystery rivaled only by the continued existence of the ironborn
>>222248663You know she killed a king right? But Mace can do what he did in the actual story and switch to the Lannisters after killing or capturing Renly yes. Either way he's not joining Stannis given that whole siege of Storms End thing
They are doing this to me tomorrow
>>222248719they get horrible writing and always 'win' because, I am going to assume, Dorne is one of GRRM's favorite kingdoms, so he makes then super special and strong and unconquerable just like he makes the blackwoods his obvious favorite house
>>222248755She was a expert ragebaiter.
>>222248768They sent him a strongly worded letter. There's no coming back from that.
>>222248768They rebuilt. And then as long as they had dragons, they didn't dare enter those lands again
>>222248786yes I know
>>222248768Respawning crops, buildings and people
>>222248755She was a whore
>>222248771All of this elaborate scheming falls apart of Renly has sex with Big Marge once (1).
>>222248686The only reason they even have fans is because they are a bit brown and more progressive then the rest of Westeros. If they had been like the North (indistinguishable from the south aside from Religion) they wouldn't have had a tenth of the fans they have today.
>>222248755>born one of the richest people on the planet>still whores herself out in Lys just for the love of the gameSeriously, just take a time and think about it. The whorishness of Saera can not be overstated
>>222248768George grew up during the Vietnam War, I think he wanted something analogous to America carpet bombing huge swathes of Southeast Asia with impunity and still ultimately losing. It's similar to how he wanted the Dothraki to be his Mongol Empire analogue but didn't really think through the implications and the result is a situation that makes no sense when you stop for a moment.
Ragebaiting Targfag trannies is so easy
what do they eat
>>222248755>zoomers targfags actually think that Jaehaerys molested Saera and that's why she acted like a whore Disgraceful "people"
>>222248846You can both kill each other off.
>>222248798Are the Dornish spartoi or some shit?
>>222248846>Hehehe yeah I beat the mountains a...ACK!>NOOOOO YOU CANT JUST FUCKING BEAT ME WITH ONE ARM! NOOO I AM OBERYN MARTELL! ACK ACK ACK!>NOOOOO DONT CRUSH MY HEA...ACK!!!!!!
>>222248861One will survive and it certainly isn't the Targs, I can assure you
>>222248846I don't even like the Targs I just hate the Dornish more
>>222248846>the Dornetranny avatarfags with images of a fat balding hagFitting.
>>222248829This. Viserra was a bitch but at least she wasn't a whore.
>>222248846Craziest part of the Dornish war is that they never just burned her and Sunspear. Everyone else got it three times they just didn't touch this fat chicks house though
>>222248849seems like dornemonkeys have evolved the ability to consume sand
>>222248846This is Lannister land fag
So we're just going to ignore Rhaenyra cucked Daemon with Mysaria?
>>222248827I think there's also a bit of a misconception in the general fanbase about Dorne because of Oberyn in Season 4 of Game of Thrones. People seem to think that everyone in the region is a bisexual, promiscuous gigachad.
One dead dragon All their men defeated You'd think they'd learn, but no of course not.
>>222248913It’s the complete opposite in the book.
>>222248798>just rebuild all your castles that got reduced to slag>with all the laborers who were burned to death>and all the other laborers who starved to death after the crops were burnedjust admit GRRM is a hack
>>222248913>Won't adapt Nettles because they didn't want Daemon to cheat on Rhaenyra >No problem with Rhaenyra fucking Mysaria
Will there be rape in today's episode?
>>222248890Viserra didn't even do anything wrong.>she wants to marry her widowed brother who isn't going to inherit?>grasping bitch TO THE NORF WITH HER
What time is it?IT'S SLOP TIME!
>>222248931>>222248945A show meant to coddle Rhaenyrafags
>>222248950
Lov me warhammerlov me staglov me alcohollov me stormlands'ate ironniggers'ate targshits'ate dornejeetsnot racis, just don't like em.
>>222248860I don't get where the Jaehaery's was extremely sexist shit comes from anyway, his actions and who he had a court say otherwise. If he didn't care about what they thought he wouldn't have had shit like Alysanne being regent, or her female bodyguard or the unofficial master of coin being a woman.
>>222248954Isn't that Oscar Tully?
>>222248672>to make Tywin maldA noble purpose.
which area of westeros would be the most pleasant to live in for a peasant nigga. KL seems like a shithole
>>222248918The play certainly didn't help with that misconception
>>222248980he is oscar
>>222248945Condal and Hess seem to just think it's okay to cuckold men but not women
>>222248950It's worse than you imagine
>>222248995the ReachIt's literally the best place to be ANYONE actually
>>222248995Reach They have the easiest harvests and always surpluses Highgarden specifically
>>222248950Indubitably
this show is so ungodly stupid right now it's not even funny>Orwyle is working on the black council now, instead of being in a dungeon.>Alicent is once again teaming up with Rhaenyra to kill one of her sons>characters are teleporting left and right>army sizes are completely incoherent, blacks now outnumber greens like 20 to 1, when it the books the greens outnumbered the blacks 3 to 1.>characters make completely illogical and stupid decisions for no reason>alot of important characters are still missing in the story (Unwin Peake, the Red Kraken, etc.)
>>222248995The Reach easily. It's why the Tyrell's support mattered so much in GoT.
>>222248967They don’t want to alienate the middle aged woman who watch the show and want to fuck Daemon
>>222249018>>Orwyle is working on the black council now, instead of being in a dungeon.That's not that unbelievable. Maesters are supposed to serve the current lord of a given place. They're expected to be neutral and apolitical.
>26 years since Tommen has been crowned King of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm. >Longer reigns than: Aenys I, Maegor I, Viserys I, Aegon II, Daeron I, Baelor I, Viserys II, Aegon IV, Daeron II, Aerys I, Maekar I, Aegon V, Jaehaerys II, Aerys II, Robert I and Joffrey I>Meanwhile Dany is shitting herself, Aegon Blackfyre is stuck in the Stormlands, Snow is dead, Stannis is freezing to death in the North.LANNISTERGODS WON
>>222248940Their castles are much smaller than Harrenhal
>>222248995The Reach is the most bountiful area.
>>222248950Alys and Aemond will rape Alicent. Rhaenyra will rape Mysaria. Ormund will rape Corlys.
>>222249018>still missing>He think at this point they'll even be in itThe Red Kraken was off the table completely if he came in because they couldn't allow saint Rhaenyra to be okay with him raping and pillaging the Reach and Westerlands.
>>222248954Christopher Walken is Grover Tully in the books?!
>>222249006>It's literally the best place to be ANYONE actuallyThat would be Braavos.
>>222248829The Ashara of her times.
>>222249006Yeah the Reach is so much better than everywhere else to the point that it's sort of comical. Even putting aside that it's where all the food is, it's basically the only option if you're literate and even remotely academically inclined. Also it seems to have the most tourneys (makes sense, that's where all the people are) so theoretically if you're a hedge knight and you get very lucky you can score a big payday by winning some noble's armor and ransoming it back.
A peasant probably lives better near Highgarden than some Ironborn nobles (Codd)
>>222248995the Arbor is as close as feudaloids can get to paradise except when the ironniggers get uppity
>>222249006historically it got raped nearly as much as the Riverlands>constant Ironborn raids>gangbanged by the Stormlands, Dorne, whoever controlled the Riverlands, and the Westerlands
>>222249060IT'S NOT CANON IT'S NOT
>>222249045Jaime has been on the death row for 15 years I don't know if you can call it winning, right now everyone is suffering
>>222249036>That's not that unbelievable. Maesters are supposed to serve the current lord of a given place. They're expected to be neutral and apolitical.In the books, his last order from Alicent was to get all the guards of King's Landing to resist Rhaenyra. He was not neutral, he was de facto green.
>>222248381>supporting a bastard usurper is the same as vampires and demons ruling the north
>>222248995The Reach>excellent climate>the most peaceful lands>most politically stable lands>most well-off and happy peasantry>no civil wars/blood feuds>no wildlings/iron niggers nearby>the only place on Westeros where you have even a small chance of learning magic>bonus points if those leaks were true and the Hightowers secretly worship the Great Other
Which is the worst place to live though (outside the iron islands)
>>222249082The marchers regions only and coastsHighgarden is totally fine
>>222249109Asshai
>>222249109da norf
>>222248995It's the ReachSpecifically Oldtown is the best city to live in
>>222249090We're talking about the show, though. It DOES do some things better than the book, like Ulf and Hugh.
>>222249091>me when I completely miss the point because I'm still seething I didn't bear the sword
>>222249109The Wall and anywhere beyond it
>>222249109The StormlandsCan you imagine being constantly wet?
>>222249109The North has annual suicide hunting trips for boomers It's them undeniably
>>222248590Wasn't he meant to marry Lysa Tully? If that happened could Tywin even make excuses to not join the rebellion early?
Remember when we all speculated Otto was being held in Honeyholt and we would get a kino southwestern Reach campaign?
>>222249150My girlfriend doesn’t need to imagine. Hey-yo!
>>222249109the New Gift
>>222249135At least I didn’t bear the arrows
>>222249109Bear Island or SkagosA lot of westeros gets raided but they have the pleasure of both being raided and being a desolate shithole at the same timeAlternatively, the average person who lives in the Harrenhal area has a life expectancy of 2 months after any given conflict starts
>>222249150I'd imagine Riverrun is damp as fuck with the flooding moat shit.
>>222249036Yes, but Rhaenyra didn't give a shit. >“A Grand Maester should know the law and serve it,” she told Orwyle. “You are no Grand Maester, and you bring only shame and dishonor to that chain you wear.” As Orwyle protested feebly, Rhaenyra’s knights stripped his chain of office from his neck and forced him to his knees whilst the princess bestowed the chain upon her own man, Maester Gerardys, “a true and leal servant of the realm and its laws.”
>>222249091he bore the sword, and the alternative is>support the man whose children are the spawn of a Dornish slag who violated every law of Gods and Men to an extent that makes the Freys look like saintsno godly man would allows the Dornish to be rewarded for their crimes
lol
>>222249045He hasn't bang Margaery dispite being married for 26 years nowShe's 40 he's 34
>>222249159Yes. People keep misremembering the timeline. Rhaegar and Elia were already married. Cersei told Jaime Tywin planned to marry him to Lysa so persuaded him to join the Kingsguard so they could be together in King’s Landing. Then when Aerys named him, Tywin resigned and took Cersei back west.
>>222249150It has stormy weather but its not THAT bad, it just rains more often
>>222249197
>>222249109North. It's always cold, never enough food, and wildling niggers and Iron niggers be raiding you all the time
>>222249197Kek, grim.
>>222249187Daemon’s wife is literally a random Tyroshi woman
>>222249243... and? The Tyroshi did not burn Westeros to the ground
>>222249197Baela is…
>>222248968Kek>>222249005>>222249010>>222249054Fuck yeah!
Kill all Dornishment
>>222249054>Sexual violence where the woman is the rapist>Sexual violence where a man is the victimAs if
Is there ever any explanation why the Stormlands are so... Stormy? To the south there's desert dwellers. to the west there's the most fertile agricultural lands on the continent with a nice climate (makes no sense by its location but OK), to the North there KL which is pretty Mediterranean across the narrow Sea there's the not!middle East and then in the Middle you have Wales for some reason. Like is it magical curse or does GRRM just suck at understanding how climates work?
>>222249197Baela is such a fucking babe tho.
>>222249225Imagine Jaime with LysaHe cannot get away from batshit insane women to save his life, thanks the 7 for Brienne
>>222249303Yeah. It’s that way because George is a shit writer.
>>222249243>random Tyroshi>daughter of an Archon>all his kids had Valyrian features, so probably descendent of nobility before the doomI'll take that over dornish mutts who are degenerates from birth
>>222249303any explanation why the Stormlands completely disappear in all these adaptations?
>poison is a WOMANS WEAPON>oberyn used poison on Tywin and against GregorOberyn is a sissy little BITCH confirmed
>>222249266You’ve had enough Arbor red, Ser Osgrey.
>>222249303You have to understand that sometimes an author doesn't give two shits about the sea currents, he just wants a place called "stormlands" because it sounds dopeMaybe George is perfectly aware dorne being a desert next to the reach doesn't make too much sense but he simply doesn't give a shit
>>222249197totally Daemons daughter
>>222249303Durran Godsgrief fucked the Storm God's daughter and he's still seething 8000 years later
>>222249326Well we know he likes it up the assLike all Dornish man
>>222249045>with the North descending into permanent anarchy and Littlefinger proclaiming the Republic of the Vale the war of the five kings has become a frozen conflict>low intensity fighting continues between the forces of Aegon VI and Tommen in the kingswood >in the marches and reach proper between the Dornish and Aegon's partisans clash periodically with the harried Tyrell forces, Ironborn raiders sow additional chaos>in the Westerlands disorder reigns supreme as the mines beneath Casterly Rock gave way, undermined some say during the tenure of the imp Tyrion as sewer supremo, and the entire mountain sank into a hole in the ground the second dowager queen Cersei and her fat ass stepped foot in the castle>the pirate king Auranne Waters continues to raid up and down the narrow sea with impunity
>>222249324It's annoying to shoot in the rain
>>222249163no idea why you would even delude yourself like that lmao they avoid battles like the plague
>>222249243I don't know why George decided that the Tyroshi should be multichormatic weirdos and the fandom that they should be black.The place was founded on a uninhabited island as a Valyrian military outpost and presumably settled by people from the peninsula.
Fuck the Beesburys
>>222249493>SettledValyrian settlements were married Freehold men nutting inside brown women in Essos and leaving them thereThat's how Lys is created If you think any of these regions are Valyrian fully you're in for some reality
>>222249495Shut your WHORE MOUTH ACKston Cole
>>222249495this. bee loving honey sucking weirdos
Ironborn are the most powerful race in the world
>>222249531the elites ruling the place aren't fucking the natives, especially with how racist the Valyrian ruling class was. Random valyrian merchant who settles there might, but not the nobility. The natives are getting enslaved, not integrated
>>222249599>>222249599
This is Maisie now.Feel old yet?
>>222249596Correct. Hence why the married men are just busting and creating bastards
>>222249531>That's how Lys is createdyeah, and the Lysense are renowned for looking so Valyrian that politically inconvenient dragonseeds are explained away as the by-blows of Lysene sailors.
>>222249708I botched thatI meant that's NOT only how Lys was made. Lys was that + Sexual selection of humans breeding recessive traits
>>222249708Posted the wrong screenshot like a complete retard.
>>222248550>Stannis has never lost a battle
