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aaagghh

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Why do anons hate Dorne so much? Is it because they resist Targaryen Imperialism? I love Dorne!

post leaks already

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According to anons the changes of rape during this episode are pretty high.

>>222253734
The show comes out in a few hours. For what purpose do you need a leak? Are you that impatient?

>>222253732
I’ve lived with Spanish ‘people’ and they’re the most unhygienic lot I’ve ever come across. I imagine Dorne similarly reeks to high heaven.

>>222253732
A Dornishman’s wife gave me the clap.

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post yfw we get 0 battles and 50 minutes of WWYHMD tonight

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soon

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>>222253779
I dont care for battles
I only need the speech

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>>222253706
We will have the last laugh!

>>222253784
rape status?

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Why wasn’t littlefinger satisfied with making money off the sheer amount of corruption in kings landing? Why did he want to burn it all to the ground?

>>222253779
I'm going to make the ultimate WWYHMD supercut with all WWYHMD moments

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>>222253779
It’s my favourite part of the show.

>>222253825
you wouldnt get it

>>222253825
Jokerfinger

>Gregor Clegane and Amory Lorch storm into the bedroom to apprehend Elia
>Aegon's head is already smashed in, Rhaeny's dead on the floor with multiple stab wounds
>Elia is standing there with a cruel smile as she looks at the two brave men and says "Nobody will ever believe you."
>Crushes her own head, leaving the two brave knights standing traumatized and blamed for the dornish whore's actions
A more tragic tale then the kingslayer.

>>222253845
Bloodraven warged into her, obviously.

>>222253813
will he marry dany or just take her out and claim her dragons?

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>>222253779
>Watch Women Yap Hourly, Migraines Developing

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>>222253706
the victor is not victorious if the vanquished does not consider himself so

>>222253732
They are an overtly treacherous people.

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>>222253779
>WWYHMD

>>222253845
ser gregor was framed. but good luck explaining that to some butthurt dornish ape like oberyn

>>222253825
His power feeble, remember how Rahenyra in hotd simply confiscates the goods from the rich people? The show is shit, whatever, but that is a genuine concern for merchants in feudal systems
Littlefingers power all comes from investments, it's merchant power, it can evaporate on the whim of this or that lord, it's not "protected" by the system

So what he needs to do is leverage this merchant power into feudal power, take Harrenhal for example, or marrying into Lysa.
He basically wants to actually cash in on the money, which right now is very vulnerable and will only stop being vulnerable if he solidifies a position as a great lord.

>>222253845
Horrific. Gregor was so traumatized it gave him headaches for the rest of his life.

>>222253912
>>222253825
Or alternatively, he's just seething about Brandon
Both are good motivations.

All I’m saying is if Shakespeare was so in love with this Gwyneth Paltrow why didn’t he notice that Thomas was clearly her with a shit moustache glued on?

>>222253825
revenge.
All these high lords always looked down on him for being only third generation nobility, but he managed to climb his way to the top and rob them blind because for all their storied family history going back centuries, at the end of the day they are still just morons.

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>>222253696
gendry grows up to be like this and tames arya stark's wild teen pussy

>>222253825
Stone cold psychcel rage.

>>222253845
kek

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is season 3 going to be better after atrocious first episode?

>>222253868
He will run away the second he gets a sniff of her barren, haunted pussy and marry Shireen instead.

>>222253989
>being only third generation nobility
It's not just that, his "lordship" is a stone house and 3 sheeps (used to be 4 but bertha died)
Had he been lord of something of worth they would look at him with disdain but still somewhat respect him, but he was literally lord of bumfuck nowhere

>>222253845
>she used Rhoynar water magic to blow up her own head

>>222253868
He will do nothing because he is dead

Aegon Blackfyre will be brought to ruin by the Dornish in their latest disaster-class in politics.

>>222254035
What the hell is this romance slop cover art. Lmfao.

>>222254080
Arianne Martell is just itching to cause some trouble

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>>222253845
>Gregor is fighting Beric Dondarrion in the Riverlands
>"Surrender, Ser Dondarrion! There must be no further bloodshed!"
>Beric smiles
>"...No."
>Beric takes out a dagger and stabs himself in the eye

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>>222253696
>the bull edition

>>222253813
a song of ICE and FIRE
AKA FYRE
Endgame is Snow and Dany versus Jaime and Faegon.
Ice is reforged for Jaime, who is actually Azor Ahai, he gets reborn in fire when the dragon attack happens. Faegon wields black fyre.
Ends up with Jaime taking the north and living with Brienne and Fargon ruling the south.
TRUST THE PLAN BLACKFYRE BROS.

>>222253755
post the leaks before i piss meself

>>222254107
Arianne is itching because of the dozens of sexually transmitted diseases she picked up whoring around in Dorne

>>222254080
>Aegon Blackfyre
You mean Aegon Blackfyre Brightflame Bittersteel Saerason Mopatis

>>222254116
It keeps fucking happening
Not even mentioning when the innkeeper's daughter RAPED poor ser gregor

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>>222253892
>I'm never getting hired for anything ever again

>>222254146
>Rhaenyra drinks boar wine
>Alyn gets the Baela Stretcher
>Alicent kills Daemon

>>222254152
Maegorion bros.. We are forgotten.

>Helaena says Dracarys
She’s dying tonight.

>>222254161
>dearest brother, have you seen my toy?
>FUCK YOU, IT’S MINE NOW!!

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can chatgpt write jaime and brienne's sex scene with accurate grrm-isms?

>>222254217
>careful Sandor the brazi- NOOOO SANDOOR
Written by Ryan Condal and Sara Hess

caoshshladda

Alicent was built for rape, incest and rapecest

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>>222253892
>Gods, she's still talking, why won't she shut up
>You could do it, Daemon. You could hop on Caraxes right now and just leave, go conquer Lys and live like a king
>I miss Viserys

>>222254161
>treacherous Dornishman tries to kill Gregor during their fair duel with poison and ends up tripping and crushing his own skull
justice

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Why did George give the murderous serial rapist a variant of his own name?

>>222254270
>she doesn't look young anymore

>>222254305
edgy

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this Gregor redemption arc is sending my sides to the seven hells

>>222254305
>the murderous serial rapist
which one

>daemon falls off caraxes
>aemond catches him in midair on vhaegar, holding him by the hand
>”nuncle, yield, we can be true dragonlords together as nuncle and nephew, bend the knee to Aegon and-*gets vision of 5 headed wolf dragon, freezing and blinding him*
>*daemon stabs him in the eye*

>>222254305
he also made craster look like him
I bet he jerks off to some real nasty shit

>>222254305
Nvm, George and Gregor have different roots.

>>222254305
What do you mean, which variant, which rapist

>>222254305
Rorge gar gar Martin

we established in the previous thread that ned stark is an unknowing bisexual who is sexually attracted to his best friend.

>>222254325
>smashed Pretty Pia's face so the whore would stop corrupting all his pious men
a man willing to tarnish his own name to do what's right, just like Ned Stark

>>222254146
lykiri

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>>222254382
>didn't setup Jon with Mya so he could live out his fantasy
what's his fucking problem?

>>222254387
she was biting the soldiers, for Seven's sake!

What's the point of Robert not defeating Raeghar?

>>222254118
Man the lighting for this is all fucked up

>>222254433
Rhaegar is the protagonist of the play, so they wanted to make the death more dramatic, tense, as he "almost won" like Oberyn

Obviously in book canon that shit did not happen

>>222254414
Jon is too gormless for Ned to self insert as.

>>222254382
>Robert is just Brandon but with some decency and actually loyal to his bro
>Ned is just Stannis but sometimes can let himself have fun
no wonder they became best friends come to think of it

>>222254456
But that’s not in the spirit of George, where his protagonists die in brutal and unexpected ways as results of their actions

>>222254433
>>222254456
Just in general, it feels like all adaptations over the past decade are some version of Targaryen glazing. Even HotD, which is amazing because this is the story about how the Targs were morons who blew up their unchallenged hold on a continent for no good reason.

>>222254281
Gregor was blinded by the poison and trying to save Oberyn who foolishly got a drop in his eyes. He only lied about Elia in the hopes to calm him so he would stop moving and not be harmed.

>>222254457
>still Rhaetard and Lieyanna's spawn
Ned may be a miracle worker but he's not that much of a miracle worker

>>222254414
jon will be happy to eat whatever is left of dany's pussy after daario is finished destroying it

>>222254478
They’re theater fags, they are basically giga redditors they don’t care

>>222254433
>uhm sweaty, if it wasn't for that dragon dream Rhaegar would have won and ruled a golden age for Westeros and stopped the long night easily
it's targshit cope. What's even dumber about the play is that if Rhaegar really vowed not to kill Robert or Ned, why the fuck didn't he just parley with them before the battle even started, offer their pardons, and ask for help overthrowing Aerys? The whole thing is retarded

ignoring that, even if Rhaegar somehow killed Robert the Targ army was still fucked. Valechads were encircling them already

>>222254475
>ned
>fun

was the Dothraki getting nearly genocided in the Long Night part of Sansa's eugenics policy?

>>222254522
compared to Stannis Ned is the life of the party

>>222254488
GRRM has drunk his own Kool-Aid and forgot that the incestuous demon worshipping lizardpeople with pet nukes were supposed to be the bad guys

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Quickly, Helaenamaniacs! This could our final night with our queen! Let us post all we have to remember her.

>>222254456
>He does not foresee Bran in a vision going to the Trident and distracting Rhaegar

>>222254503
>implying Jon gives a fuck about some Targ slag
as long as Arya's pure he doesn't care

>>222254529
yes, she also initiates reverse first night right where helpless peasant boys are forced to have sex with her

>>222254414
Jon isn’t his son. He doesn’t think of him as his child.

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>>222254536
Yeah we've gone from
>Targs think they're special and superior, which is ridiculous. They were just a lucky minor house from a great empire. Rhaegar was a fool who caused a continent-shattering civil war by publicly abandoning his wife and running off with a girl who was already betrothed.
>Targs are the pre-ordained saviors of Westeros and all their bullshit is actually totally justified because of Aegon's dream. Rhaegar actually was the bestest specialest boy ever until those meanies killed him.

>>222254562
arya gets >>222254013
jon gets cold nights and loose dragonpussy

>the Starks are actually giga-retards, Ned is just the exception to the rule and redeemed the entire bloodline
imagine if he married a Valestacy or a Reachstacy instead of a Riverslut

>>222254600
*There should have been a "to" in between those greentext lines but I forgot it because like Robert, I've got brain damage from chronic alcohol abuse

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>>222254503
>jon will be happy to eat whatever is left of dany's pussy after daario is finished destroying it
Does he know?

>>222254575
I bet Bran is a having a FEAST reflecting on the Greens during the Dance, very beautiful

>>222254522
>The king’s melancholy melted away with the morning mist, and before long Robert was eating an orange and waxing fond about a morning at the Eyrie when they had been boys. “ . . . had given Jon a barrel of oranges, remember? Only the things had gone rotten, so I flung mine across the table and hit Dacks right in the nose. You remember, Redfort’s pock-faced squire? He tossed one back at me, and before Jon could so much as fart, there were oranges flying across the High Hall in every direction.” He laughed uproariously, and even Ned smiled, remembering.
I always got the vibe that Ned was a lot more fun/carefree before the war PTSD and duties of being a lord. Everything Robert says implies it when Ned is being a hardass. Robert wants to go back to the Vale days and hasn't changed much, Ned is a different man now.

>>222254612
>redeemed the entire bloodline
Considering King Rickon of the Skagosi is continuing his bloodline I think not

>>222254612
If Ned married a Reachwoman (I guess it would have to be a Tyrell or a Hightower, idk if there were any available), the War of Five Kings would have been over in about a week lol

>>222254624
It's fine I got what you meant and I agree
Every time gurm adds prophecy bullshit he undercuts his own themes

>>222254643
>the only characters objectively improved by the play are Ned and Robert
how do they do it

>>222254433
humiliation ritual for chuds and incels who love bobby

>>222254694
>play confirmed Bobby was a good guy ruined by decades of living in KL with Cersei

THE TIDES

>>222254643
>I always got the vibe that Ned was a lot more fun/carefree before the war PTSD and duties of being a lord
It's something you can see happening to Robb as well. I think it was Bran's PoV in AGOT where he makes a distinction between his brother Robb and "Robb the Lord". Had he survived the war, it wouldn't be surprising if he grew into a similar stick-in-the-mud hardass like Ned.

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>>222254626
Darkstar will take care of el goblina del norte.
He's perfected his little girl-maiming techniques.
Now it is simply a matter of waiting for the fateful night.

>>222254013
>>222254609
>thinks about Hot Pie more than Gendry in Feast/Dance
OH NONONONONO, Gendry keks not like this

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lyanna

>>222254694
>Robert was a cool dude that fell in love with Lyanna after she was nice to him when he was grieving his parents
how does the play make Robert worse

>>222254732
hot pie doesn't know what to do with a woman, also his dick is so obviously small while gendry is hung like his daddy

>fantasizing wildly about baratheon dick
It sure is Ned in here.

>>222254488
What? I feel like the lizard-glazing is mostly from the fanbase and all because of Daenerys. Dany going fucking psycho was being built from the start and the fanbase refused to see it because le breaker of chains. She went psycho and everyone lost their minds because she was supposed to be their le brown people savior despite having a strong history of lynching people when favorable for her own personal gains in her past.

The new show isn't exactly painting Rhaenyra in a strong light. If they were "glazing" her they'd be disproving all of Mushrooms negative rumors but they have her on her back foot at all times and her kingdom is crumbling.

you're not a real asoiaf fan if you don't appreciate prime bobby b's pecks

>>222254659
Ned wouldn't know how to deal with a Lynesse or a Margaery-type. He was lucky he married another dour stick in the mud.

>men love prime bobby
>women either reject or cuck him
foids have bad taste

>>222254787
>despite having a strong history of lynching people when favorable for her own personal gains in her past
I'm sorry, I'll never buy the idea that Dany crucifying slavers is a sign of her going psycho. It was a completely proportional response to what they had already done. The books definitely seem to be hinting at her starting to lose it, but the show doesn't at all. It comes basically out of nowhere.

>>222254842
I'd settle for jaime's stump

for me it's cersei lannister
I, unlike all the homosexuals here, could actually fix her

>>222254942
explain your plan then

>>222254942
>retarded murderer at the age of ten
You couldn't.

>>222254942
For me?
Melara Heatherspoon. I push your fat and shit wife down the well to save her.

>>222254825
Ned managed to contain a Tully's retardation for a decade and a half. He's basically a professional tard-wrangler.

Is this the most hyped episode since season 8?

>>222254763
>They were never my pack, not even Hot Pie and Gendry. I was stupid to think so, just a stupid little girl, and no wolf at all
>Maybe I should go to the Wall instead of Riverrun. Jon wouldn't care who I killed or whether I brushed my hair. Arya missed Jon most of all. Just saying his name made her sad
>She had never cared if she was pretty, even when she was stupid Arya Stark. Only her father had ever called her that. Him, and Jon Snow
she wants a wolf, not some bastard stag
>>222254842
he had 16 known bastards, probably even more unknown ones considering Bella. The only women to reject him are Cersei and Lyanna, 2 confirmed insane whores

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>>222254942
For me it's Arianne Martell. Robb should have married her and linked up with the Dornish

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>>222254713
GODS it was wet then Ned

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>>222254942
Based
But unfortunately for you I'll fix her first

>>222254825
he spent years in the Vale so he knows how to deal with southern ladies, and he managed to fuck Catelyn until she loved him despite seemingly dragging home a bastard he fathered days after marrying her kek. Standard southern lady would be easier to handle than Catelyn who was raised most of her life as Hoster's heir and ran Riverrun after her mom died

Ned is the most dutiful man alive and fucking your wife well is a duty, he'd plap them into submission

>JonCon was the only "major" player in the rebellion who escaped untarnished by the retardation of the play, by virtue of not appearing
APOLOGIZE.

>>222254942
same. shes just misunderstood, not a crazy slut

>>222255071
>got cucked out of ever being adapted
>will never be in the same room as rhaegar

>>222254942
I'd settle for brienne, she's forced to love me for who I am since she is so ugly. I'd also settle for sansa since she would force herself to love me out of duty.

>>222255070
>Ned is the most dutiful man alive and fucking your wife well is a duty
Now I've got the mental image of Ned like practicing thrusting in the training yard and asking Luwin to send to Oldtown for books about fucking

>>222255143
>she's forced to love me for who I am since she is so ugly
Oh anon. That’s not how foids work

>>222254998
Robb wouldn't even make it to the red wedding if he married a Dornoid

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>>222254942
i could have turned saera into a modest housewife. she wouldnt fuck around if she had a nice loving husband, handholding and romantic walks instead of taking multiple cocks, this is all she wanted in my opinion

>be the ugliest woman in the world
>fall in love with the two sexiest men in the world
The hubris

>>222255161
this, even ultimate femcels like brienne want gigachads like renly or jaime.

>>222255142
I don't know if I'd describe being spared from that shit as being cucked.

>>222255071
Ned went out not only being untarnished, but outright better
>never abandoned Ashara with a bastard
>completely loyal to Catelyn
>was the only sane Stark
>risked his own marriage just to honour his retarded sister's last wish

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I miss when Alicent was hot

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He comes....

>>222255188
Brienne's standards for love is
>he was nice to me

>>222255143
>>222255161
the two crushes of brienne were renly, who looks like a young bobby b and is the king's brother and jaime, one of the best looking guys and best fighters of the realm. ugly women are insanely chadsexual

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>we have the clear advantage
Now that the dust has settled, what was he on about

>>222255230
she only started liking Jaime after he was brought low though

>>222255161
>>222255196
>>222255188
>>222255230
this is why sansa >

>>222254998
she's a hag
her dad is saving her for viserys/young griff
there are better option.
I'm actually surprised that at no point in the whole series did Robb ever ponder marrying Asha Greyjoy

>>222255238
lil bro think his small army can easily defeat 6 dragons for some reason

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D A C E Y

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>>222255230
Have you considered that they are the only two people to ever be nice to her
>Ser Ronnet was a landed knight, no more. For any such, the Maid of Tarth would have been a sweet plum indeed. “How is it that you did not wed?” Jaime asked him.
>“Why, I went to Tarth and saw her. I had six years on her, yet the wench could look me in the eye. She was a sow in silk, though most sows have bigger teats. When she tried to talk she almost choked on her own tongue. I gave her a rose and told her it was all that she would ever have from me.” Connington glanced into the pit. “The bear was less hairy than that freak, I’ll—”
>Jaime’s golden hand cracked him across the mouth so hard the other knight went stumbling down the steps. His lantern fell and smashed, and the oil spread out, burning. “You are speaking of a highborn lady, ser. Call her by her name. Call her Brienne.”
>Connington edged away from the spreading flames on his hands and knees. “Brienne. If it please my lord.” He spat a glob of blood at Jaime’s foot. “Brienne the Beauty.”

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>>222254942
>>222254952
>Cersei used to swap places with Jaime and was good enough with a sword for the trainer to not notice
Cersei is easy to fix once you realize she's a tragically repressed tomboy. Tywin's greatest crime was not being a tomboy enjoyer

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>>222255253
>for some reason
There is actually a VERY obvious reason anon

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>for me it's lynesse hightower
>I, unlike all the homosexuals here, could actually fix her

>>222255251
Why would Robb marry that rape-slut when he had Theon as his "friend"? Either way, he'd get betrayed by both. A marriage to Margaery or Arianne is all that could have saved him.

>>222255294
but he is not even being vague, he keep saying "all the major houses will flock to our side"

>>222255223
She’s just like me, but for any woman who smiles vaguely in my direction

>>222255275
>Giving that insane bitch a sword
You're dead anon

>>222255302
Dude parlayed the one W in his career into a hot highborn wife. Kudos are in order.

>>222255302
relentlessly handsome
should have been casted as selmy

>>222254942
>>222254998

Top ten Ice and Fire girls I'd smash:
Val
Asha
Brienne
Mya Stone
The Corpse Queen who corrupted the 13th Lord Commander
Malora Hightower
Visenya Targaryen
Melissandre
Ashara Dayne
Barbrey Dustin

>>222255313
This, the great houses cannot but come to our side.

>>222255251
Would never happen in a million years with how much Balon despises the Starks. Even Robb's offer of an alliance was predicated on "you get to fuck up Lannisport" and not some type of friendship between Starks and Greyjoys.

>>222255311
because that rape slut is not a dirty sandnigress or a snobby bitch who would never settle for a snownigger

>>222255302
>won the hottest non-Cersei woman in Westeros
>fumbled the post-marriage shit test
most tragic character in the series honestly

>>222254521
> Rhaegar really vowed not to kill Robert or Ned, why the fuck didn't he just parley with them before the battle even started, offer their pardons, and ask for help overthrowing Aerys? The whole thing is retarded
Because Rhaegar IS retarded. He was barely competent at politics at the start of the play and by the time we get to the rebellion whatever sanity he had left was long gone. The whole point is to show how pathetic he really is compared to how he was spoken about

>>222255329
taste.
anon sees beyond big breasts and mummer smiles.

>>222255363
all he'd need to do to get Robert to let him keep Lyanna is bring her prophecy-addled ass to him so he can witness how fucking crazy she is

>>222255345
that would not happen, but it doesn't excuse why Robb never pondered it. He thought he had enough of a chance to ally with Balon, after all.

>>222255329
top 10 ice and fire men I'd let smash me
Maegor the Cruel
Stannis
Varys
Rob Stark
Tywin Lannister
The Mountain
Hodor
Laenor Velaryon
Sweets
Reek

>>222255271
Hyle Hunt was sort of nice to her, relatively speaking

>>222255362
what would you have him do? bear island is a depressing shithole and he cant move to oldtown because hes the heir.

For me it’s
>book Alicent
>Cersei
>visenya
>Samantha Tarly
>Alys Rivers
>Melisandre
>Joanna Lannister
>Jeyne Arryn
>Osha
>Nymeria

>>222255302
It doesn't even make sense. She was his wife. He could fuck her however he wanted. Why bother getting into debts and breaking laws to keep this slut happy?

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why are they so irrelevant

when is episode?

>>222255440
beta

>>222255450
who was phone?

>>222255411
>chop down all the trees and sell them to Leyton for shipbuilding
>stonks
>wait until all the topsoil blows away and the island sinks into the sea, freeing him from the burden of shit lordship
>ignore Ned Stark's wailing and go live in oldtown

>>222255411
1. Tell her to get the fuck over it.
2. Sell wildlings into slavery if you must. Nobody gives a fuck about them

>>222255440
He loved her and wanted to see her smile, but she was depressed ever since she started living on bear island

And I cannot blame her

>>222255440
He was in love with her.
It was only later that Jorah became the stone cold child trafficking raper we see in the series.

>>222255471
the dog shits at dusk

>>222255475
it doesn't matter who you sell. the act of selling itself is forbidden.

>>222255450
Two hours

>>222255387
>*fixes her with his BBC (Big Baratheon Cock)*
Now what?

if jorah was gay and she a twink it would have been perfect

>>222255302
>>222255440
>previous wife for 10 years
>no kids
>married to hightower for years
>no kids
jorah is pathetic on so many levels

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>>222253696
Are dragons comestible?
How frequent was the meat?

>>222255518
His first wife died in childbirth.

>>222255518
his previous wife died in childbirth I believe. Jorah could still get the gun going.

>>222255321
she only went off the rails due to the prophecy, if she doesn't marry Robert and is separated from Jaime she can be fixed

>>222255518
>even if dany waned to let him hit (LMAO) she's barren
It's so fucking over for Jorah

I’m a filthy show only fag. What is this about Jorah having been married already? I thought he only lusted after 14 year old girls

>>222255536
why didn't Tywin foster her out to the Eyrie or Riverrun? Was he stupid?

>>222255562
He was married twice

>>222255583
what do these places have that his doesn't? Tywin has probably the third best court in Westeros after the Hightower and the Iron Throne. Maybe tied with the Tyrells. Those niggas are a step down by comparison.

>>222255492
the wind is troubled today

>>222255562
The reason he sold slaves and got exiled is because he brought a Hightower girl to his shithole island in the norf after seducing her at a tourney and only then realized he didn't have a fraction of the money required to fund her lifestyle

>>222255562
he doesn't lust after Daenerys specifically, btw. Danaerys just happens to look exactly like his ex-wife. He never got over her.

>>222255520
Accursed is he who eats of demon flesh!

Jorah was literally Jaime-tier in his prime. Some random dude from the north beating the shit out of all these famous knights.

>>222255562
first wife was probably young, 2nd wife was 17 when he was almost 40, then of course lusting after Dany when he was close to 50

pedo bear

>>222255610
No Jaime Cersei could manipulate and fuck

>>222255583
Tywin was in complete denial about his children

>>222255610
A non-masturbatory environment for her to grow up in.

>>222255624
Jorah was a betabux…?

>>222253784
Soon what? He will raep Lawd Corlys? Look, if nobody gets raped in this episode I’m quitting the show. This penultimate episode is by one of the foid directors so the rape forecast is really high. The last one is by a dude so odds of rape diminish.

>>222255624
lol what a cuck

>>222255583
He wanted her at court to catch Rhaegar’s eye.

>>222255583
girls really don't foster, closest thing is lady in waiting but the only level fitting for her would be a queen or princesss. Also doesn't help that his wife never told him about her catching Jaime and Cersei kissing or whatever at a young age. She died and he was oblivious for the most part, if he knew he would have separated them

Pwease wet me wape

>>222255837
It was more than kissing

>Barristan was a simp for a Dornoid
>Jaime was whipped by Cersei
>Jorah
>Bobby B never got over Lyanna
>Victarion never got over his last wife
why are all the best fighters in Westeros slaves to women

>>222255624
lmao imagine jorah spending what little money he had on some jewels and she just goes like
>ugh, thanks i guess

>>222255861
The best fighters are gay actually apparently

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>>222255352
Arianne is not dirty. She bathes at least once every two days, as it states in her chapters.

>>222255861
you forgot gigachad Ser Uthor Underleaf the omegachad, slave to no woman

>>222255861
Maegor made women simp for HIM.

>>222255624
>>222255813
he was a genuine cuck, beta male who failed infinite shit tests for a whore who preferred slaver cock
>go to braavos
>move to more expensive Lys because his wife demands a warmer home
>sell ship to finance her lifestyle, still go broke rapidly
>become sellsword
>she cucks you while you are risking your life so she can
>bull tells you to fuck off or he'll enslave you

>"However, while Jorah was fighting the Braavosi on the Rhoyne, Lynesse took Tregar Ormollen as her lover, and moved into the merchant prince's manse. When Jorah returned to Lys, Tregar informed him that he would be enslaved for his debts, unless he gave up Lynesse and left Lys"

>>222255912
no amount of bathe can wash out the niggetry in her

>>222255927
best case scenario for Jorah is Daenerys getting him Lynesse back. It's always been her he wanted and Daenerys was just a substitute

>>222255861
The mountain and the hound too. Cersei and Arya. These two are only tangentially whipped but still. Fucking cucks, the lot of them.

>>222255854
>NOOO JAIMIE!! WANTING TO GET YOUR DICK SUCKED BY YOUR SISTERS PLUSH, TEMPTING, GORGEOUS LIPS IS WRONG!!!

joncon is cucked by no woman, based based based

>>222255861
the only one who escaped the pussy plantation was arthur "fag of the morning" dayne. based

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>>222255927
>>bull tells you to fuck off or he'll enslave you
YABBA.
DABBA.
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

imagine if winds of winter existed

>>222255927
why does George always write this shit?

>>222256037
because despite being a commie and hippie he is somehow by accident redpilled on foids

>>222255954
this. just roll in with your underage boss and her dragons, burn tregar and claim lynesse. she would be instantly wet once she realizes jorah is the bigger chad

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How come she never grew her hair out?

>>222256054
George wrote women so well because he understood that they are just thinking and breathing humans just like us, except retarded.

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>>222255972
>NOOOOO JAIMIE!!! WANTING TO FEEL HER NAILS AGAINST YOUR BACK, LEGS WRAPPED AROUND YOU, SCREAMING YOUR NAME IN ECSTASY IS WRONG!!!

90 minutes

>>222256056
why haven't there been enterprising Westerosi kings that decided it was time to loot and pillage the Free Cities?

>>222256056
Jorah could spin this as the evil Trygar stealing his lawful wife, whom he had not divorced, into a life of sexual slavery. Daenerys would instantly be onboard.

>>222256067
she always wanted to be a man

>>222256084
because Westeros outside of the Ironborn has famously shit luck with navy. Like the royal navy doesn't exist half the time because it kept getting destroyed by freak storms.

>>222256067
She’s a pathetic repressed tomboy. She hates being a woman.

>>222256067
Because D&D stopped trying to get the actors to actually look like their characters, everyone was phoning it in

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The Red Widow.

>>222256084
The only naval power worth a damn was perma weakened when the velaryons picked the wrong side in the dance

If asoiaf is a response to lotr, then why hasn’t a modern day fantasy epic been made as a response to asoiaf? Why is my generation filled with talentless hacks?

>>222256186
Aerys II was going to but Tywin talked him out of it.

>>222256056
jorah should get dany to make out with him infront of lynesse. make her jealous
>omg my ex is such a chad hes banging the dragon queen. i must have him back!
im just not sure dany would go for this... maybe if he begs her enough

>>222256203
truly, Aerys the Wise did nothing wrong

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>>222255954
>>222256056
wouldn't change the fact he's a simp at heart, compare him to based Ned who makes him seethe
>bring home a bastard son fathered days after your marriage
>wife protests, tell her he's your blood and to fucking deal with it
>when she asks who his mother is, become so enraged it terrifies her years later and she never asks again
>refuse every request she makes to have him foster somewhere else
>have him educated and trained no differently from your heir
>make her join you in the Godswood even though it terrifies her
>plap her in bed like a Northern savage
>end result, Catelyn is praying to the Gods to give Ned another son while thinking about how "pleasantly her loins ache" after he fucks her
if Jorah had mogged his wife like this from day 1 she would have loved him while living in a shed on Bear Island

>>222256193
I’m working on it. Unfortunately for the awaiting reader I am even more work-shy than George.

>>222255861
>Bittersteel and Daemon Blackfyre too
what the fuck is wrong with George, is he just perpetually mad at Chad?

>>222256214
Jorah just needs to become a worse person to get Dany's attention. Kidnapping Tyrion is a good start, but he needs to evilmaxx a bit more to get on the same level as Daario and Drogo.

>>222256193
Asoiaf is still the new thing. It hasn’t been long enough to birth subversions of it

>>222256193
I too am working on one. It's mostly a jab at george's retarded worldbuilding and lack of economic literacy.

>>222256193
it isnt you retard

>>222256193
Jorge el gordo needs to complete his work before we can formulate a response to it. Maybe this was his plan all along.

>>222256269
Jorah is awkward both too evil and not evil enough at the same time. He's an honorable northman raised by Jeor at heart in a situation that demands him be Tywin. Just like Ned. Damn, it's almost pottery.

>>222256218
This. If Jorah was like Ned there'd be a half-dozen silver-haired Mormonts and 75% of her POV thoughts would be about how she wants more Mormont cock

I'm going to rewatch the new episode 2 more times before midnight just to make sure I absorbed everything from this intricate and delicately layered kino

bad pussy

>>222256193
I just want to write an Asoiaf prequel about the true story of azor ahai but change the names so that I can say it’s my own story

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Why are the Dornish so hated?

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>Bring me that girl from Myr, I need her for something.

>>222256380
Dunning-Kruger schemers

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>>222256380
total mary sue kingdom

>>222256193
there was an OG fantasy author who says GRRM basically killed the market for new fantasy writers. No publishers will commit to a new series unless it's already finished, but no writer is going to risk writing a full story without any guarantees

publishers fears of another Winds situation nuked the industry. GRRM is the living embodiment of what everyone hates about boomers

lol you've all forgotten harwin strong ever existed

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>>222256237
>>222255861
George writes about human nature, and sensitive young men destined for greatness are also huge simps
Napoleon and Josephine
Caesar and Mark Anthony both simping for Cleopatra
It's in the nature of men capable greatness to also be sensitive and in a world full of cruel foids
Picture very much related

>>222256269
Dany just isn’t attracted to him. Daario takes liberties all the time and gets to fuck her ass for his troubles. Jorah refuses to apologise to her once and she exiles him.

>>222256399
Total Targaryen Death

>>222256406
napoleon stopped being a simp once he got big and started having tons of bastards. stop getting your history from ridley scott bro.
Cleopatra was a sidepiece for Caesar at best. Anthony mainly used her for their mutual advantage.

>>222256380
mary sue, scheming rats who should not have been able to survive after getting all their shit torched

>>222256218
i blame jeor. at some point you have to sit your son down and tell him to man up and stop simping

>>222256399
>dunks on even bigger Mary sues
Get fucked lizards

>>222256455
>and started having tons of bastards
I mean that's just normal in ancient times if you were a ruler

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>1 hour until alicent gets raped again

>>222256509
>napoleon
>ancient time

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>>222256405
What's there to remember?

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>>222256466
It's like real life allegory for the Crusaders

will we get the fight or another filler?

>>222256540
88% certainty of filler

>>222256540
All filler, no thriller

the story has been off the trail for a while now, but i feel like tonight is the night it goes completely over the cliff edge.

>>222256540
shan't be watching either way

>>222256535
Isn't Dorne based on the Umayyad Caliphate in Medieval Spain though? The Rhoynar seem like a 1:1 analogue for the Moors. Only in ASOIAF, they manage to integrate peacefully with the Andals instead of getting kicked out in a reconquista because George is an idealistic hippie.

>>222256567
Nothing ever happens

>>222256380
Jealousy

>>222256520
Oh come on you know what I meant no need to be anal about it

I dislike the series too but the idea that what's not a battle is "filler" I dislike even more
If this is the Aegon episode, it will be most definetly not be filler

>>222256411
Just one more atrocity, bro.

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>all this talk about how is the biggest beta
ENTER

>>222256535
Rhoynar are good seven worshipping Andal men with a healthy taste for latina pussy, they are basically Spain, not stinky muslims

60 minutes

>>222256380
>planky town

>>222256650
Dornish* I mean, not rhoynar

>>222256578
>The Rhoynar seem like a 1:1 analogue for the Moors.
Not really. Dorne seems to be an idealised libtard version of Cordoba but the Rhoynar aren't the Moors, they conquering Iberia while the Rhyoner came over as refugees and then cut a deal with the Martells to integrate and then help them form a kingdom by subjugating all the other regions. Dorne is so wooly and luvvie it's hard to see exact historical parallels.