Looks great amirite guys?
>>695048175actually looks like Spy Kids but without a budget for costumes
>>695048175Literally looks like they're standing in front of a green screen
>>695048226why does it look like someone typed an AI prompt to generate this
>>695048175Anything with Jew Black is an instant skip for me
JESSE
>>695048175Is this a fucking SNL skit
>>695048175Why didn't they animate this?
>>695048175This fat fuck couldn’t lost some weight? That’s not very blocky.
>>695049047Seriously, it should've just been an animated show instead of a movie
>>695048175looks unberable jewish
>>695048226>>695048595looks AI generated
>>695048595Out of all the screenshots this is the only one with halfway decent lighting
>>695048175 literally looks like a man and his wife's son in front of a blue screen taking a souvenir picture at THE MINECRAFT EXPERIENCE exhibit of their local museum
>>695048175I might watch it for a laugh in a few years
>>695048595My man needs to watch his diet, it can't be good for his health
>it's just the jumunji reboot with blocksI don't know what I was expecting but
Not sure how I feel about the zombies
>>695049324>green screen>good lighting
>>695049672so why don't the zombies, who are supposed to look like steve, not look like steve?
>>695048175they both look so jewish it hurts
Isn’t snood in this
the fact that they showed a chicken farm gave me the most hope of anything so far desu
green screen: the movie
One of the biggest problems with this movie is that they can't commit to being pixelated and blocky like the games or just saying fuck the games and going full live action. It makes every single thing look jarring to look at or downright ugly just so that Hollywood can plaster some celeb's faces all over posters.
>>695048175why didn't they get jack to at least make in effort on his appearance??? he is fat as fuck and could trim that disgusting beard of his. Steve is a serious and quiet guy. The opposite of Jack
>>695050056trying to emulate Deadpool's LELSORANDUM "humor"
steve wouldn't be fat
>>695049047Because americans HATE animation and think it's a lesser artform
>>695048393Are you saying that this isn't AI generated?
>>695049878Steve's been eating too much cake.
>>695049774Why would Jack Black be a green screen?
>>695050403you already know why anon
>>695048175Looks like a Rocket jump video from 15 years ago
>>695050720Ok, a better question would be, why the fuck do kikes assume that's what people want to see? It's been proven time and time again that leftist retards only harass others to consoom propaganda movies/games but they themselves never do.
>>695048226Wait don't tell me Steve's backstory is "I USED TO BE A MINER BEFORE THE BROWN BRICKS VIDEOGAME ATE ME"
>>695049774that's a set we've already seen in the BTS you fucking moron
>>695048175No, it looks fucking awful.
>>695050056From what I've heard he's in a jumanji situation, he's stuck in minecraft world and thus the unkept beard.Also apparently the movie is set before minecraft as a game existed, Momoa's character is inspired to create the game in the real world after the events of the movie
>>695048175So what is the expectation? /v/ just dances around this new maypole declaring how shit it is instead of just ignoring it?
>>695050984>why the fuck do kikes assume that's what people want to seeanonhow new are you
>>695051390Not new at all. For goblins that love money so much they sure enjoy wasting their millions. This piece of shit is going to flop hard.
>>695049047its not a real movie unless ugly mutts and niggers star in it
>>695049047That costs money and green screen and live actors is dirt CHEAP for a movie about the most popular video game on the planet.
>>695051343>Momoa is NotchIt'd be more based if Momoa was Zach instead and he gets inspired to make Infiniminer after this.
>>695051343>minecrap: the origin storySTOP DOING THIS SHIT FUCK
>>695051343Why do they keep remaking Jumanji? AI could write better than this.
>>695050984>why the fuck do kikes assume that's what people want to seeits a propaganda effort and theyre not even hiding it, look at oscar nominations criteria. Look at any movie award criteria
Doesn't minecraft also have a girl main character?
>>695051705>its a propaganda effortYes but there's no way they aren't aware that it doesn't sell. How the fuck do they expect propaganda to be "propaganda" if it barely reaches anyone? I'm not saying I want more kike shit in movies, I'm saying it doesn't make sense even if you look at it from THEIR perspective.
>>695050448Didn't the Super Mario Movie do super well in the box office and with fans?
>>695051472>This piece of shit is going to flop hard.It won't, sadly. Kids will see it and I'm sure the budget for this is non-existent, so they'll just needs to sell some tickets to make a profit.
why does the west insist on making everything lame and gay?
>>695048595I love how Jack Black does literally nothing to curb his appearance and stars in lead roles. This man is vlearly obese at this point and just refuses to shave or even manage his hair at all.
>>695051841People only went to see it because even your grandma knows who's MarioAnd I don't recall liking a movie that wasted time on a "Mario origin story" and which cucked out Luigi from actually starring as a hero in his own movie because Princess Peach needs to be a hero instead.
>>695051343>Momoa's character is inspired to create the game in the real world after the events of the movieSo he's actually Notch? Sounds like a set up for a sad ending
>>695051841It was made by a French company, aka people who respect animation
>>695049778i hope there is a villager breeding machine that seperates children from the adults and then disposes of the older generation
>>695052049Who or what is overly represented in media, particularly those who decide what gets made?
>>695051841>>695050448More reasonable to say americans don't respect animation
>>695050580Fucked up but it actually is not. I don't understand how they fucked the cinematography and lighting bad enough to make it look ai generated.
Based!
The only thing Steve does is literally physical activity. I'm pretty goddamn sure he wouldn't be a fat FUCK.
>>695050984It's about sending a message, anonalso trying to shift the overton window for the youngest viewers.
>>695052437lmfao
>>695052252They're the same people who made minions. I wouldn't call that "respecting animation"
>>695049672Why does it look like the grotesque Steve that was made to rosterfag for smash?
>>695052437Pretty soulless. It actually looks like Jack Black acting.
>>695051830/v/ is barely anyone, millions of people go see those movies and then post about them online
>>695050403>Look, I'm the producer and my sister is nagging me to make her son a star, just put my nephew in.>We have to prove how we are not like the old days of toxic masculinity, and because the media cares about that shit and will give us good press. >We need a POC to show how open and diverse we are; again because journos eat that shit up and we can use racism as a defense when people (rightfully) call this a piece of shit.>The writer wanted a self insert "voice of reason;" there own Lisa Simpson or Brian Griffin. Look just do this, maybe we can hire a girl/the girl's mom, who's willing to "do anything" for a role.>No one will see this piece of shit if we don't get a big name on board
>>695052437lmao
>>695048595Why pick such a round man to play such a square character?
>>695052439have you seen what powerlifters look like?
>>695052049SORRY, CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF OUR SPACE FAIRING CIVILIZATION
>>695052437wtf
>>695052437>that laugh after lighting a kid on fireDamn, now I'm imagining the movie being a surprise horror film where Steve systematically kills everyone who enters the world.The original Griefer.
>>695052919Have you considering doing this without niggers and trannies thoughbiet?
So when are the kikes going to realize that no one cares anymore that they put jack black or the rock in every single movie? Getting tired of this shit actually.>>695052915Powerlifters don't run all day.
>>695052985>The original GrieferAn idea too good to actually make it past a rough script.
>>695052437kek
>>695052919liftoff 1700 EST today, btw
>>695048175There have been lots of retarded game-based movies. This looks like it'll be among the absolute worse.
>>695052985That scifi movie Passengers is almost like this, sort of. First half of the film is great.
>>695052437Retarded AI pajeet
The funniest part is that if you made a collab where the minecraft community works together to make a movie length animation ot would be at least 50 times better than this movie from the start
I like Jared Hess so this might have some funny parts in it. This will probably be his highest grossing movie ever, I would have taken the paycheck too.
>>695052049maybe it's to make us hungry for future AI experiments
>>695049047Because Jew Blackstein needs a gig
>>695052839Because he's breaking through the barriers of a square world by being SHABALOOO round or some shit
>>695052437KEKAROO
>>695052986Elon and Trump already made it so. Next question? :D
>>695049878because they only look like the original Steve, the Jack Black Steve is just one of many that inherited the name from the first builder
>>695050984>why the fuck do kikes assume that's what people want to see?I see you still have more waking up to do
>>695053445Based
It's funny how quickly normalfag's opinions of Jack Black went south.
>>695052437Amazing.
>>695050984Kids don't give a shit and will drag their parents to see it with them
>>695053480Trump loves his (legal) niggers and (consenting adult) trannies doever.
>>695053646The kikes tried to kill The MetalThey failed, but they took down Jack Black in that attempt
>>695052437lmfao I got tears in my eyes
>>695052437Why did Jack Black do this?
>>695053445Go back to /dbs/ you disgusting piece of shit.
>>695052437>"I am no hero, Brian">lights brian on firewould be kino
>samefag keeps replying to his AI slopClean it up, janny
>>695052437Funny, why do amerimutts hate AI?
>>695048175Why did they cover up his chest? Is a bit of man-chest too much for kids to handle?
>>695051223
>>695050403Maybe stop watching children's action adventure movies, anon.
>>695054886His fat would spill out the neck
>>695052437KEK
IAM STEVE.
>>695048175I will be watching this in Regal 4DX on day one.
>>695052437This 6 second webm will be funnier than anything in the movie.
>>695051223Did you not watch the second trailer when it leaked last month?
Trailer just droppedhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJO_vIDZn-I
>>695050448Animation in America is extremely expensive, something retards always ignore, and actors and green screen are much cheaper
>>695055635oh no....oh god please no....
>>695052437wtf i love AI now
will it have a forsen reference
>>695048175Doesn't look very creative more like monkey see monkey do
>>695055975
>>695053698I'm 19, and I don't care, I've wanted A Minecraft Movie ever since I started playing the game in 2012.Also Notch approves of A Minecraft Movie, so I do as well.
>>695053565Holy shit, is that a fv4005??
>>695052386"Jack Black working as miner"
>>695056118You have to be 20 or older to post here.
>>695056131Serious rape horse vibes from this dog.
>>695056131Is the whole "film" supposed to be carried by the single "joke" that wow square shape funny??
>>695050403>Emasculated manthat's not a man, that's a s0iboy kikecaptcha: S0YD8
>>695049778That's a pretty shit chicken farm desu
>>695056338
>>695048317because they literally are
>>695055635
>>695055635looks fun :)I'm 33 btw
>>695056726there should be a suspension of disbelief at the least tho
>>695056839HRRM...
>>695056839
>>695057048>supremechampion.jpg
>>695055775the movie has jews?
>>695056839oy vey....
New Legendary logo?
>>695055635looks fun, why the hate desu
>>695055635>the children yearn for the mineI APPLAUDEDKINO
>>695052915I'm pretty sure Minecraft has running, jumping and swimming.
>as a child I yearned for the mines
>>695056131yjk
>>695049047They did animated it. It failed
>>695050403Your first > already tell you why
>>695058013
>>695051343Hollywood actually made an entire fucking movie to call Notch a faggot
Who else would fuck the wolf?
>>695050403>big gay man should be around kids!
>>695048293>spy kids without a budgetSo spy kids?
>>695058289LET ME REPEAT IT FOR THOSE IN THE BACK.NOTCH PRAISED A MINECRAFT MOVIE.THERE IS NOTHING ANYONE OF US SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT.
>>695048595I like how Jack Black is going for that Orson look.
>>695048175did anyone tell them that making the ground literally a shitty flat blocky video game makes their film look like a high school play?
>>695058323>manHow dare you assume their gender?
>>695058570looks more like legends of the hidden temple
>>695052049we got robbedhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBkfYsbMvZg
why are all the villagers nigger squidward
>>695058519>nu-/v/ reading comprehensionHe's not praising it at all, he's saying he's okay with any slop being made under the Minecraft brand
>>695058705I'll take what we have, but thank you.
>>695058795My point is that if Notch isn't taking out torches and pitchforks over A Minecraft Movie, then we don't need to either.
>>695052437>>695058541that running animation at the end looks like literal C-movie tier 2008 youtube
>>695059069If Notch gave a shit about minecraft at all he would not have sold it to Microsoft years ago.
>>695050984>mention the trailer to my mom>she asks who is in it>i mention mamoa>she is all "oh i love him hooray">i tell her that she should see what he's wearing>she says that's stupid and unimportant>the next day i get a text from her saying that she saw the trailer and she is absolutely astounded at hollywood's ability to make something you like utterly unappealing
>>695055635Looks like shit. Minecraft's graphics are meant to be an abstraction of real life, but of course Hollywood takes the literal approach.
>>695055461Not him but I didn't.I cringed too hard to even finish the first one.Fucking Greenscreencraft.
>>695048175every image ive seen of this movie it has jack black with his mouth agape lmao
>>695058519>try to code a pig>make a monstrosity>change it's face, color it green, and keep it because it makes for a good enemy in-game>becomes one of the main faces of the entire franchise>15 years later a hollywood studio is spending countless manhours on making that design work in a live action moviei understand how weird that must be for him
Is King Kong the only good Jack Black role?
>>695059069>man who got literally billions of dollars to stop caring doesn't care>so buy your $30 movie ticket, goy
>>695059438What? He was fucking terrible in thatSchool of Rock is the peak
>>695052049>everything lame and gaylook, im also and OLD PERSON(tm) too, can you TRY not to be an OLD PERSON for 5 minutes. even im sick of hearing those stupid complaints.
>>695059565>just eat the goyslop
>>695052210is it? dude is a millionaire, and will keep getting money from MC until the heat death of the universe.
>>695059565t. lame and gay person
>>695049778>chicken farmsVillager slavery farms to get mending books in 3rd trailer.
I'm not gonna watch the movie unless it has an enderman in it, and if they do show endermen, they BETTER give them some quality treatment.Those are the best thing the game's ever put out along the End Poem.
>>695054016I'd give a standing ovation
>>695048175>ameritrumpers will tell you this isn’t kino
>>695059417this is like half the story with video games in general before 2000. now everything has to be a cinematic AAA remake. it's absurd to spend millions of dollars and thousands of man years to develop a jrpg scene that took 10 minutes to write and 20 minutes to program 30 years ago
>come on, crowd of people from the real world, follow me, steve, to my base, over there>"everything looks the same, how do you even know where you're going?">*camera pans over to a single-block-wide column of cobblestone blocks towering over the treetops*>...I have a good sense of direction
>>695059438>Bowser (Mario Movie 2023)>Steve (Minecraft)>Po>Billy Glenn Norris (Mars Attacks!)>Gulliver
>>695050403Touch grass, /pol/skin
>>695059616oh, i AM gonna eat it alright.i love sonic, and i love the movies, but, had Paramount kept being stupid and refused to change sonic's design, S1 would have become the absolute greatest trainwreck in cinema history. an event one has to see to believe.now, we are on the precipice of an event just as big with how obviously shitty this movie is gonna be. every person who loves not just minecraft, not just vidya, but cinema in general HAS to see this movie. and it has to be seen on cinema. even tho this is a WB movie, which means its success will keep Zaslav on the CEO seat for one more year.
>>695059868>"which way do we go?">East.>*isekai'd group walks away from setting sun while steve walks away perpendicular to them*>*visible confusion from everyone*
>>695059438the only two jack black movies i can think of that i dont dislike are shallow hal and tenacious d(the latter of which i need to be very stoned or drunk to enjoy)
>>695059748I will give a standing ovation to A Minecraft Movie when I see it in Regal 4DX.I forgot to give a standing ovation to The Super Mario Bros. Movie, but I think Minecraft had more of an impact on my childhood. (I'm 19)
>>695050403>>695050984This is just what those dogshit Shazam and Sonic movies looked like to me, and kids apparently like those a lot.
>>695060029Calm down Anon, it's not that bad.
>>695052437Beautiful.
>>695060260sonic has actual cinematography, even when there's human actors in framethe minecraft movie is looking like 100% hamfisted greenscreen when any live action actors are on screen
>>695050984Since nobody answered you: Jews believe in something called Tikkun Olam, or "Healing the World." In its original form, it comes from a belief that God fractured Himself in the creation of the earth, and that it is the Jewish responsibility to reconcile people. It has become postmodern cynicism - Calling the ugly beautiful and attacking the world they feel damaged their god. It's the same line of thinking as gnostics who thinks the world is evil. Additionally, Jews think anything spiritual is sexual. It's a form of sexual domination over gentiles. Have you ever seen how a Jew prays? They dry humor the air, rocking their hips back and forth, and it's not uncommon for them to cum their pants while praying l, thinking their prayer is an act of union with godhood, with the godhead. They think they know better and that it's their responsibility to educate and direct you like the soulless golem they think you are. It's literally about breaking you under their yoke because it makes them cum. You have no idea how evil they are, dude.
>>695050448Obsessed all of the biggest movies in America are animated slop
>>695050448>Because Zaslav HATES animation.ftfy
>>695060403This has cinematography too.
>>695060289it genuinely looks that bad. not so much on the root design level, but when it comes to how it's filmed, how the actors are performing...half the movie is going to be the actors reacting like this to shit they can't even actually see
>>695055635this is literally the plot of that one rocketjump video
>>695059925>if I ignore it then it’s not happening!
>>695055635well, hopefully the S3 trailer pops in later.
>>695048317
>>695049878because "steve" was a guy from the real world who came to the minecraft world, the zombies were always there
>>695060510try reading all of the words from left to right in a post before replying to it.
>>695055635I HATE GOLEMS SO MUCHTHE SKIN GOLEMS THAT ISI HATE THEMI HATE THEMI HATE THEMI HATE THEM
Why is Steve so fat and old???
>>695059868>"What's that over there?">A zombie>"And what's that thing down there?">Oh that? That's a zombie pigman...>*characters one by one begin looking at steve with deadpan expressions*>Look, I'm good at building things not naming things. If you have a better idea just- just keep it to yourself.
>>695052049>lame and gayOh boohoo your childhood was le ruinedYou know this happens constantly right.You are no longer the target demographic, because you presumably aged and were removed from the target demographic.This is a movie for kids. Knowing what kids like is a surprisingly esoteric field because you always associate it with what you yourself liked as a kid.I still have no idea what kids of 2008 saw in making the Transformers these incredibly messily designed robots who talk in barely intelligible voices and ride around to Linkin Park, but that's what kids then were into.Also didn't get why the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles needed to be super serious in 2003 or why they needed to be aliens and look like disgusting sewer monsters in the 2010s, but a focus tester looked at some kids and figured that's what they were into.Same is true here.
>>695060552Listen, I am okay with all of that.I grew up with Minecraft, and I have always yearned for A Minecraft Movie.
>>695050056why the fuck would he shave his beard for the fucking minecraft movie of all things, they're lucky he didn't show up to work drunk
>>695050403because america let it happen
IIIIIIIIIAM SNEED
>>6950481752 putrid looking rat jews
>>695048175this is truly awful
>>695060571She won he lost
>>695060429We are G-d's Chosen People and the rightful rulers of the world. All bad goyim who refuse to accept that must be exterminated. If you will not bend the knee to us, you do not belong in our world.The sooner you submit, the sooner you will finally be happy.
probably this is not the place. but does anybody know how to install and run Bedrock without the fucking MS Store, that i cannot even update?
>>695048226DU HASTGUT LACHENhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkTRamZ0PsQ
>>695061005Java still works.
>>695055635Unironically looked good for what it is, which is a movie targeted towards 9-year-old boys
>>695061005bedrock is dogshit, there is no reason to play it unless you must play with other friends on bedrock but if that is the case you are better off convincing them to play on java
>>695061045oh sure. but i personally prefer to use Bedrock, i have it on Android and Switch, and mods like the pacman, sonic and Megaman X are things that cant be done in java.which kinda pisses me off because i cant install it for some reason (possibly because i didnt bought windows... fucking MS)...
>>695055065Why do leftoids argue like this >make garbage slop >that’s garbage>why do you care chud?!?!!!?!!!Fuck off corporate bootlicking tranny, children’s movies used to be kino and we still her a good one every once in a blue moon.
>>695060782I was into Phineas and ferb when I was younger, I showed it to my nieces and they liked itI liked Shaun The Sheep, when they saw it they became obsessed with itThey also like pokemon and old cartoons from local TVI genuinely have no idea why fags like you think kids don't deserve good entertainment or that kids have some sort of isoteric taste when what works for kids before still works today. Hell, the reason why they're into minecraft and roblox so much is because they're pretty much playing with lego.
>>695052509Say what you will about Minions, but they're really well animated.
>>695061171If you play on Java, you can do fun things like play with cookie creepers.
>>695060985You're right, I don't belong in your worldLuckily your world is a silly cope, convert and repent
Noticed that they got the crafting recipe for the iron sword right
>>695055635Minecraft (satanic live action version).
>>695055635Wait. So >>695048226 is fucking real?I thought for real that >>695048226 was some AI fake. It looks like some adaptation of Bob the Builder more so than Minecraft.
>>695059304>Minecraft's graphics are meant to be an abstraction of real lifethe issue is that the artstyle is too important, it's a pretty big part of what makes minecraft recognizable so when you take away all of that, you're left with generic medieval-fantasy world that barely resembles the og (and that's the best case scenario). that being said, that very same reason is exactly why the movie should've been full cg and not a weird hybrid.
>>695058418spy kids but 300m debt
>>695048175>>695048226>This is going to be gen Zs star warslol
>>695052437LOST
>>695061515No steve I AM YOUR FATHER
>>695052437Imagine if he killed the kid this suddenly and the movie went from family friendly to gruesome slasher horror.
>>695050984they do this so that you direct your frustrations at video games and movies instead of at the financial institutions causing the problems.same reason politics is being pushed so hard.
>>695052081I mean, why would he if people keep giving him any role he wants?
>>695048175Looks funny as shit and that's the only thing that matters.
>>695061690KEK
>>695052437LMAO GOTTEM.
>>695061301Either we rule the world or no one does. We will burn this world before we let the goyim have it. We are G-d's Chosen. This world is ours to do with as we please.Personally, I feel like publicly torturing a thousand goyim to death every day would break your spirits. But we can do this the nice way, if you goyim will just submit.
>>695060429I appreciate you, anon.
>>695061690kek
>>695048175Can somebody tell me why every vidya game movie has to be an isekai?Does some guy from hollywood come to your house and kick you in the balls if you try to do something that is only in universe?
>>695061690There it is.There's the kino.
>>695061690Simply amazing anon.
>>695052437amazing
>>695050984they dont care about you they care about your kids who are easily manipulated at that age. Focus on telling kids all this weird shit and a few generations its normal.
>>695048226I genuinely thought some shitposter used AI to put Jack Black in a Factorio or Satisfactory movie, but it's real.
>>695052437Amazing. AI movies can't come soon enough.
>>695056131it looks like the bad movie sonic
>>695062038ya know Japan didnt invented that concept, not even popularized it, right?its jut hollywood guys being idiots. and before you mention the Mario Movie. Mario and Luigi being from the real world and going to the mushroom kingdom has always been the canon story. the only thing that has never been canonized until now is them being from Brooklyn, NY.
>>695048595Wouldn't that many diamonds mean you can beat the game by now?
>>695052437
>>695060429>Have you ever seen how a Jew prays? They dry hump the air, rocking their hips back and forth, and it's not uncommon for them to cum their pants while prayingThere are already more than enough factual reasons to hate Jews, you don't need to make things up
>>695048175everything about Minecraft that isn't landscape looks hideous and so does this movie the worst is knowing that we were close to getting cute stylized characters instead of the cursed placeholder style we have now
>>695062253Okay but normal fantasy films don't have to this shit. Luke skywalker didn't have to get sucked into a black hole from our universe to be in star wars, he's just there.
>>695056131Yiff artists are gonna be eating good with this.
>>695062582Zoomers are going to lap it up anyways, so why put in the extra time and money?
>>695052437Pissing myself
>>695059069I also didn't get a billion dollars.
>>695062518The world cannot survive without G-d's Chosen People.
would you even watch this if you were a toddler? i probably wouldn't, i mean it barely looks like the fucking game and that was a big no-no for kid me.
>>695062605if we're talking about minecraft, there wouldnt be any other way to deal with this than to make it an isekai story. what they could have been doing could be telling the story from the PoV of Steve and remove the other guys.>Steve is a kid who wanted to become a miner.>he grows up, becomes a miner.>Discovers the tesseract, enters the MC world.>he learns how the world works and makes residence in a nearby village.>eventually Steve realizes he wants to go back to his world.>he has to go thru the nether and the end to do it.>he gets out and brings his knowledge of the world with him, even telling this sweden computer guy he met about his experiences in that world in the post credits scene.truth is, in a way MC has always been an isekai story.
>>695060812>they're lucky he didn't show up to work drunkwho says he didn't?
>>695048175rip minecraftgame is gonna die now lmao
>>695061690I will now watch your movie
>>695061690HAHAHA SO FUNNY TRANSPHOBIA MAKES US 4CHANNERS LAUGH HARD HAHA
>>695062518It's called shuckling in Yiddish. You won't believe me until you look it up. History is full of examples of chassidim being chastised by local populations for "transgressions of the flesh," and it is common for rabbis to defend this by saying one must be "potent in prayer," meaning fertile, as potency is required when creating life and prayer is to the Jew and act of creation. Baal Shem Tov had this to say about it:>''Prayer is zivug ("coupling") with the Shechinah. Just as there is motion at the beginning of coupling, so, too, one must move (sway) at the beginning of prayer. Thereafter one can stand still, without motion, attached to the Shechinah with great deveikut (“cleaving to God") As a result of your swaying, you can attain great bestirment. For you think to yourself: “Why do I move myself? Presumably it is because the Shechinah surely stands before me.” This will effect in you a state of great hitlahavut ("enthusiasm; rapture").'Others expand:>"The chassidim repeatedly commit the sin of involuntary ejaculation during prayer according to the commandment of Rabbi Yisroel Ba'al Shem Tov, who said to them that just as one who engages in intercourse with an impotent organ cannot give birth, so one should be potent at the time of prayer, and, in prayer, it is necessary to unite [sexually] with the shechina. It is therefore necessary to move back and forth as in the act of intercourse."source: Shever Poshim: Zos Toras Hakana'os 33a-b>"From the Besh"t [Baal Shem Tov] of blessed memory. "For from within my flesh I will see [God]" (Job 19:26). Just as a physical union is not fertile except with an erect penis [אבר חי, lit. "living limb"] and embrace and joy, so too a spiritual union -- and this is words of Torah and prayer -- when engaged with with a living limb and joy and delight, then it will be fertile..."source: Keter Shem Tov 1:9Shechina/Shekinah is variously referred to as God's daughter or the feminine splendor of God.
>>695051223Anon...everyone used to be a miner.
>>695063031>anon realizes isekai is just a vehicle to explain the world to the main character, by making him equally new to the world as the viewer.If you were old enough you would remember all those games with dementia characters, which tried to achieve the same thing
>>695058519It must be nice being blind and a retard.
>>695063401>HAHAHA SO FUNNY TRANSPHOBIA MAKES US 4CHANNERS LAUGH HARD HAHAYNBAW
>>695052437I expect a team of shitposters to use AI to create a much better movie less than a year after the actual movie releases.
>>695062518Here, educate yourselfhttps://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Shmoner
>>695063480kek
>>695063651>urbandictionaryReally now
>>695063497so? this is minecraft, not a horror movie or a study on the human mind. (even tho the designs arent exactly child friendly...) even if that werent the case. why would we need to go a route that doesnt make sense for what minecraft is?
>sheboon falls in love with Steve>stays in Minecraft land with him>"I guess you could say I'm a...miner attracted person">roll credits
>>695063721It's a common enough phenomenon that Jews have slang for it lol
>>695063426Just when you think you've heard it all, what the fuck is wrong with these people
>>695060783>not java editionyou are a faggot
>>695055635honestly it doesnt look that bad
>>695048175>playing Time to Pretend in the trailer knowing that all the kids that played minecraft in 2010 are in their 20s now
>>695063721>nothing to see here folks
CGI lmao
>>695063879Yes anon i'm sure "MosheSilverberg" is a real Jew posting Yiddish slang on urbandictionary
>>695056726>>695048317That's the bad part. They actually aren't. That's a set. At most there might be a greenscreen extension in the back. But it looks like CG anyway.
>>695064225>"it's not uncommon for them to cum their pants while praying"Keep fantasizing about Hebrew cum
>>695061926Begone with ye
>>695063401>TRANSPHOBIA MAKES US 4CHANNERS LAUGH HARD HAHAI say and do this.
>>695064225I cannot believe Jews actually convince themselves they're fucking God. >>695064245Funny how you just ignore >>695063426
>>695061690ebin
>>695064318https://judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/134270/if-you-have-a-seminal-discharge-should-you-wait-seven-days-to-wear-tallit-and-tk
>>695059868>>695060047hehe
>>695063968I play Java Edition and only Java Edition nowadays.I was just showing off what my build looked like on my Xbox 360 before I transferred it to other platforms.
>>695052437leave it up to the chink ai to be able to generate flawless industrial-accident-like antics
>>695063401yes
>>695052437>mfw
>>695048175the fact that no one bothered to actually post the new trailer yet everyone already watched it is proof that I'm surrounded by 13 year olds
>>695048175Looks like a YouTuber movie.
>>695063401kys tranny MAGA
>>695061690Based
>>695063426>these are the people calling you incel
>>695065231What's a Capitol bathroom rule?
>>695058519He didn't praise it, he said that even a weird and bad film would be fun for him personally.Uwe makes odd shit and his movies are usually not great.That doesn't mean the MC film is good. It means that even a dumpster fire would be personally entertaining to Notch.
>>695065520literally this
>>695065594>Uwe makes odd shit and his movies are usually not great.Postal is one of the funniest movies ever made
>>695055635Is it really called "A Minecraft Movie" instead of just being called Minecraft?
>>695049047it makes no sense, anyone willing to make a huge profit with a minecraft movie would make the number one priority to not do uncanny live action. this just feels like a run of the mill money laundry.
>>695052049SVOULLESSVSSVOUL
>>695048175DON'T MISS NOTCH NEXT TIME
>>695066062all video game movies are just [generic kids movie script] with iconography slapped on it, shit like the mario or sonic movie could be based on anything
>>695066062Something you need to realize is that hollywood is full of not particularly smart people, who are almost always the ones deciding what goes in or out the movie. If an exec decides that animation wouldn't work here then you're going live action. Don't agree? Tough shit.
>>695060429I don't think any of the Hollywood kikes actually practice Judaism.
https://youtu.be/yqCvx60ENWg?si=Xtl_yP1rlSDOXV9l this should have been the minecraft movie
>>695048175THIS YEAR....JACK BLACK...APPEARS AS...JACK BLACK!the tribe's genetics are really hitting rock bottom, at least they tried to give a fuck in the 80s
>>695052437Why is AIshit so fucking soulful?
>>695051564maybe thas the case?
>>695056038this is some Forbidden Siren shit
>>695061224>good entertainment is shit I liked as a kidI'm not a retarded faggot so I've only seen that first one posted by borderline underageb& and it looks like slop.But Pokemon is just viral marketing: the show. That's all it is. It does not have themes or arcs or anything valuable to a child beyond telling them why they should buy the new game.And the point was that this is dogshit, but it is dogshit going on for fucking decades. GI Joe and Dragon Ball Z were equally hyper focus tested slop designed for specific time slots with no real idea behind their syndication beyond sell the product. You don't learn anything watching them as a child beyond maybe picking up a few new words, and all you do end up gaining is an inflated sense of superiority for watching the "good kids shit"... you know, advertisements that ran for 24 minutes, with an addition six minutes of advertisements for other shit inbetween.
>>695066908Didn't Nicholas cage actually just do this? And come to think of it, John Malcovich had a similar premise too. I expect maybe 5% of you actually knowing John Malcovich
>>695065765Explain why they call it a "capitol" bathroom rule. What does capitol mean in this context?
>>695067231t. TARDjitafag btw
>>695066062>a minecraft movie would make the number one priority to not do uncanny live actionyou forgot about ugly sonic, didn't you?>inb4 viral marketing cope
>>695049774That is very clearly a set.
>>695053646They wait for a headline to announce someone is officially in the doghouse
>>695058541They all look like they're running in place.
>>695053646>>695067724It wasn't as quick as Jack Black was to cancel his tour.
>>695058541FTFY
>>695052437I need more AI outtakes like this, please.
>>695051841But not with critics.
>>695050984>>695059231>The comedic actor is the hero>The actor known for playing a hero is the clown of the teamHelp me understand
>>695052081He is a Jew. Of course he gets a lead role without even trying.
If anyone remembers, they announced months ago that there’s gonna be a minecraft animated series on Netflix
>>695068673Up is DownUgly is BeautifulWeak is StrongSeems to be the recurring theme of the 21st century
>>695069069it's called "overcoming adversity"
>>695068673>The actor known for playing a hero is the clown of the teami only know him for raping emilia clarke. where is he a hero?
>>695068673When you run out of creativity subversion is all that is left.
>>695070998He played Aquaman in the recent DC films
>>695063426Schizo hours are wild in amerimutt hours
>>695055635Looks like shitThe only people shilling this are trannies who just want more kids to groom on Minecraft discord servers
>>695048175>>695048226>>695048595I can't even tell if these are edited images or actual footage.
>>695048226Honestly... Kino.
>>695048226Bigger
>>695048175female lurkers add me up on disc : zuratafalespecially if you enjoy anime vịdya lolịs artịstịc creatịve hobbịes pokemon fate dịgịmon dịsgaea kemonos smt megaman sonịc SFM anịmatịons castlevanịatouhou dragon quest monster hunter FU fịnal fantasy bravely default fịre /m/ stuff DoAs the rwby anịme emblem et
>>695048595>>695048175they don't even fit in with the backgrounds.this is worse than 90's greenscreen shit.
>>695075946now make him have his nipples poking through his shirt...
>>695052437top kek
>>695048175>>695048226>>695048595the lighting makes it look very cheap like some SNL skit
>>695050448Jews who run these companies do
>>695077173"Nipples protruding.""It was a disgusting sight, believe me"
>>695077464heh
>>695076747Fuck, I love JCM2
>>695077464Very disrespectful!
>>695052116The grrlboss Peach BS really ruined the movie for me. I know she shouldn't be a helpless maiden (god forbid) but they went overboard with her to Rey levels.
>>695048175>Jack "kill all white children" (((Black)))i hate that kikes, one of the most psychotic far left jews in hollywood
>>695080158>GGGIIIIIRRRLLLLBBOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
>>695050403>point out the truth>get banneddamn mods are now pro jews
>>695083385>now
>As a child I yearned for the mineswhat did they mean by this
>>695055635The two women in the trailer are already grating.
>>695064318edomite*ftfy
>>695063426why hebrew sounds so retarded
>>695048175If you can't appreciate the movie, it's because you're a teen who thinks that everything is cringe or an old loser who thinks that everything is cringe because he's never had a social interaction
>>695087557you need to be my five year old kid to appreciate the movie you liar
>>695087557Or maybe it's just irreverent slop.
>>695048175I'm excited, I wasn't a stickler beforehand and they showed a good trailer this time too. MGMT Kids was a solid choice.I YEARN FOR THE MINES
>>695088525It took a reddit meme to change the perception of the normies about this film. It still looks like a green screen mess.
>>695087557maybe it's just shit
>>695088840You simply want to hate on it, homeslice. It looks as fun as so many other movies I've seen in my life. It's also Minecraft, and the first Minecraft movie there is. No reason to hate on it, especially for shallow reasons such as they used a green screen bro, zomg, there's cgi everywhere oh god save me nigger man.
>>695067370Pretty sure that means it was instated in the US Capitol Building.
>>695058306>>695052437Kill yourselves
