Horsing Around Edition>play chesshttps://lichess.org>join our team and tournamentshttps://lichess.org/team/vietnamese-basket-weaving-forum>we are playing in the lichess bundesliga, every thursday and sunday at 20 CETPrevious>>536073276
>>537451665I didnt think it would be possible to do worse than the gotham OP, but youve found a way. Delete this one and lets try again
>>537451778This OP is totally fine. Live a little
>Get bootyblasted in bullet by an insane move, has to be cheating >Opponent is simply rated one THOUSAND bloody power levels higher in classic and blitzWhen are we going to stop pretending that time controls are mutually exclusive
>>537452968What was his bullet vs. blitz rating roughly? I don't think I've never seen like a 2500 blitz with a <2000 bullet (as long as they actually play bullet)
>>537451665Saved! Going to send this to my wife, she'll love it!
Could you beat Magnus if he started without queen and rooks?
>>537451862>Aberrant OP image>no zzz trolling so they won't even see it
>>537455002yeah I think I'd destroy him in any time controlEven a specially trained Leela couldn't beat a 1500 consistently with those kinds of odds
You guys aren't dedicated enough to do this.
>>537456259Could’ve just went inside and analyzed it with a computer
>>537455002Yes, he can't trade anything and all I have to do is play solidly until I win a bunch of pawns or attack his king.
>>537456924That's the difference between analyzing to develop your skills and analyzing to "know" why you lost. Anyone can flick on the engine and "know" the evaluation went under at move x but analyzing on your own means you might play better next time.
has anyone chess on opiates
>>537456259I can't do this because I don't lose.
>>537456259wtf takes him 4 hours to analyze? is he dumb?
>>537457515Yes, obviously much better to analyze with your 2000 liblitz brain instead of a 3600 elo computer. Cut out the middle man and stop wasting your time, retard
>>537460461Do you think you would learn much from 'solving' tactical puzzles by just immediately looking at the solutions with a computer, without forcing yourself to calculate and commit to a conclusion?I assume you're trolling, but the 'middle man' you're cutting out here is the part that you're trying to improve at chess (the 2000 liblitz brain) so removing it from the optimization process might not be the best idea
>want to try 960>boot up 10 minute game>get paired with people 1000+ points higher than meWhat the fuck? I'm getting slaughtered and there's nothing I can do about it. What time control has the biggest pool of players?
>>537462108This why I hate arguing with autists, the black and white thinking is so tiresome. When you fucking analyze a game, with a computer, you think of a line, and then use the computer to verify if you’re on the right track or if you’re missing something. You’re the one inputting the lines, but you’re not the one telling yourself if they’re good or not, because you can’t, because you fucking suck at chess. Analyzing without a computer is a monumental waste of time and likely even counterproductive to an extent since you have no clue if your analysis is objectively good. You literally can’t say I’m wrong, chess books written before computers are full of misinformed analysis, and those were written by players much stronger than you.
>>537462694Just gained 71 elo by beating someone 600 points higher rated than me. That one victory almost brought me back to where I started today lmao. 960 is so stupid but fun. Wish more people played it, so I'm not sitting around waiting for a game I'm likely lose.
OP WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUC ARE YOU DOING
>>537467265they're hot
>>537467961Wrong, women are better as 95% of men would agree
Every time I'm ahead my mind turns to mush in the endgame and I throw.
>>537468679Make a queen. Stop your opponent from making a queen. Ain't that hard once you think about it
>>537462694make an open challenge in the lobby and use the opponent strength slider if you play on lichess
>>537458908obviously somewhere
>>537468356that isn't a contradiction
bump
>see the tactic a couple of moves ahead>get the position, laughing with myself, having fun>brain glitch and play a completely different move than what i was intending originally>resign immediatelywhy does this happen so often?i fucking hate blitz it's like drugs
I have officially entered the loooooong list of anons who mog larpov in OTB ratings
>me around 1160 rapid .com>play a brownoid jeetesque mystery meat, not from actual jeetland but somewhere >after a long equal setup in the Nimzowitch Kennedy Linksspringer Variation (I had to look this up) I find a discovered check with a pawn, taking his pawn and a bishop>I continue to take material, he continues to jeet around>up 5.3 centipawns at the peak>he proceeds to remove my knight defender at f3 I take back without even thinking>he ista mates in one my castled king in the corner at h2 with his queen and a knight>proceeding to swearing for 30 min straight and wanting to get drunkWhy the fuck does it have to be so much easier to attack than to defend for a pure high T white European male like myself?
>>537500484what are your lichess ratings?>>537501004you just posted cringe
>>537501004Jeets gonna jeet. A jeetoid is as a jeetoid does
>>5375010041100 thinking jej
>>537501004>high T>swearing for 30 min after a chess game loss
>>537505947high testosterone doesn't mean that all your actions are perfect
-_-https://lichess.org/SCsH4Lzw
>>5375039782100 rapid, 2000blitz(on a good day) but from what I've seen there is much less correlation between fide classical and online ratings that you would think out of 3 1800 fide at my club that I know the lichess accounts of, one is somehow 2000lirapid and 1800liblitz(yes his fide rating is literally higher than his liblitz I have no idea how it can be especially because he plays a lot and he's in his 20s but it would be rude to ask), one has more or less my same ratings and one is 2200+ in both, it's weird especially because when I play them in otb blitz I don't notice much of a difference
>>537501004T goes down after a loss
Most annoying response to the Jobava London?
If you played against a very beautiful girl that you're attracted to OTB, would you play better or worse? would you feel distracted?(i'm going to play a classical against a very beautiful girl and i'm scared)
>>537528032i would be very scared to make eye contact and i would probably fumble the handshake. i would be distracted the whole time, "omg she thinks i'm ugly and that my hand was too sweaty, she can tell that i'm nervous and that i haven't talked to a girl in years, she's probably going to talk with her friends afterwards about having to play some ugly loser freak".but that's just me. you'll probably do fine.
>>537527534I know of a Jobada player on youtube rated 1300-1400 and he hates the Englund gambit.
>>537528682Why would you watch a 1300?
>>537528941earlier a 3000 bullet was watching my 1500 liblitz game
>>537518516shoo shoo stinky winky
>>537528032That's pretty much what happened in the first round of a rapid i played a few days ago. No, i did not feel distracted by her being a pretty girl at all, playing tournament chess is already stressful enough... not losing is more important than making perfect social interactions.
>>537501004>up 5.3 centipawns at the peakCan’t tell if this is bait but lol, that’s the funniest line
They don’t just do this in anon btw. And if they can’t even take a loss in anon, you think they do in ranked?Online chess is completely dead. Find a new hobby.https://lichess.org/XjlfZoOzR4Jt
>>537537523To be fair cheating is a lot worse in anon
>>537537523nobody cheated in this garbage game.
>>537460367he'd rather ponder on his loss for four hours in the rain than go home to his shrewish wife. Such is life in soviet china.
>>537538468don't enable him.
>escaped 1800s hard stuck only to be 1900s hardstuckIs it over?
>>537538468Not in my experience. There’s no incentive. A lot of people just play anon to kill time or learn the game stress free. I already quit rated because of cheating and just play anon occassionally, but even there it doesn’t take long to find somebody who can’t take loss. It’s just over.>>537538521One of the most annoying things in the world of midwits is the urge to be le “rational” and minimize everything because they think they’re too intelligent to be persuaded of anything. In reality you’re just a know-nothing imbecile and virtually an NPC, there’s always one of you making this obligatory reply. The amount of times I’ve gotten one of these just for the account to be banned soon after lol but fortunately for you, this is anon so you get feel super rational all day.
My favorite is when they try to “analyze” and act like real life chess players and go “No this isn’t cheating, your mistake was playing this and that and then his response was natural etc.” and they’re just referencing an engine and talking out of their ass. An hour later, the innocent account is banned lol
>>537539075Agree to disagree. Anon lichess is a bunch of jeets that got banned and can’t afford a VPN. You’d be better off making an account and playing unrated.
>>537537523Hey, I remember this game.GG btw.
>>537540206Come say that over here
1. Kasparov2. Karpov3. Magnus4. Fischer
>>537544254>magnussyKEK I'm ded brah too funny
>>537539543>>537539075you are schizophrenic
>Dude, you think people cheat in online chess? You’re schizophrenic, dude. I am very intelligent
>>537537523I agree in general about retards having been brainwashed into thinking denying cheating no matter what makes them smart, I've seen exactly >>537539543 happen a dozen times on plebit That said what makes you think white cheated in this game specifically? he obviously wasn't cheating at the start at what point would you say he started cheating and why?legit asking I want to understand what makes you so certain because I don't see it myself
>>537546839It’s just the difference in level. He started the game like a total noob, blundering multiple pawns (and not for any clever compensation) and not understanding anything (he thought he could cut off my Queen from my bishop by sacricing another pawn lol), then once my pawn structure got slightly compromised but I should still be able to beat someone as bad as him, he started playing as if he understood everything and rapidly built up an advantage to totally winning. Basically exactly the way an engine seizes on an any little weakness and gradually builds.In a case like this it’s just about context. Against a strong player I’d be less suss but really weak players don’t suddenly turn into legends once they’re tilted and losing.
>>537548602Also, you can just compare the moves to Stockfish. He took his eye off the ball at exactly one point with 26. Rf7 that led to a clever complication if I could have seen it, but it was deep. Otherwise basically pure Stockfish from the point the queens were off. From a guy who can’t avoid blundering the b2 pawn when I play rb8 lol
>>537528032I once played an uggo teenage girl with a particularly dumb looking face and she blitzed me off the board and crushed me. I was playing on down a clean piece and continued well into a hopelessly lost rook endgame and when we got to move 60 she got up and brought extra scoresheets which embarrased me into resigning.I shared this so you'll know that you'll surely do better than me. Try not to let it get to you and play what you know.
At what point will I have to start checking profiles for cheaters before every game for rapid? I just made it to the low 1900s chesscum
>>537537523please put on a tripit would be lovely to have the option to automatically filter your mental illness
>>537548602>>537549405>Otherwise basically pure Stockfish from the point the queens were off. f4 wasn't an engine move though I wanted to say he might have started to cheat after the queen trade but f4 made me second guess it ,ofc cheaters can mix their own moves in not to get caught but in anon he wouldn't even need to plus he played it in less of a second normally one would think he would a least check that his own move isn't losing, in general he time usage isn't suspicious,you are probably right because the level of play did rise a lot as you said but it's not clear cuthe might have been using one of those browser exertions where you can set it to a certain rating level
>>537544254where's Morphy?
If you're under 1000 should you just ignore the analysis bar entirely since blunders are so likely?
>>537558404wtf are you talking about?
>>537559208Like if it says white is up 1.1 or whatever that doesn't matter because no one can push the advantage
>>537560327well objectively it does matter, and it doesnt hurt to start thinking that way, atleast. +/-1 isn't a huge margin, but if you mentally categorize the position as slightly better and learn good follow up lines, then in the future when you reach the same or a similar position, you will recall that you were slightly better and that such and such line presses the advantage. This will be more important during the opening phase and very early middlegame since those positions will likely repeat throughout your career. And even in middlegames and endgames you may not reach identical positions but you will start to see the same ideas and themes. Don't think of yourself as a low elo loser who will be stuck in low elo hell in perpetuity, start to consider yourself as a someone who is slowly becoming a strong player. So basically you can do the future strong player a favor now by using the computer analysis objectively, even though yes practically speaking at low elo the evaluation will swing all over the place for the entire game most likely and doesnt "matter".
>>537537523Didn't look very sus to me. He missed the free piece, then you hung every pawn with check, which tends to let the advantage slip a bitOn move 26 (out of 30) he threw the game away anew with Rf7He simply didn't play a single move that looked inhuman or insanely resourceful, he mostly just attacked stuff and then took it when it wasn't defended
>>537500484Congrats, we need more anons infiltrating the fide system.
Chess is an online game. Stop try-harding with your OTB tournament ratings. You will never be a GM.
Does anyone feel like com might be lying about their number of users? I'm currently typing this entire post as I wait for a bullet game at 1500. I'm still waiting btw. It's been over 30 seconds. This is common.On lichess it takes 2 seconds
>>537565981I would think the difference is more likely to be the result of their shoddy infrastructure and comprehensive technical inferiority to lichess rather than a lack of 1500s for matchmaking
>>537565981danny could match you with an opponent quickly but it takes more time to set up lopsided matchups that artificially seed engagement-building win streaks
>>537553080
>>537569195So Morphy was a christian afterall, wtf I hate the tg janny now!
>>537551325That is extremely rude. Apologize. Now.
The greatest player of all time is MIKHAIL TAL because he had the FUN which is the purpose of a GAME
>>537575873The mostest FUN**
>>537575873wrong
>>537575873this guy plays for fun too>2700>plays crazy games>lose a lot because he just wants to have an interesting game>2500 something now
>>537518516Shoo shoo stinky winky
Just threw away a M4, I want to fucking die. I need to grind 1 million fucking puzzles.
>>537582624Correction, it was two M4 and a M7. Subhuman, I have spent weeks doing nothing but playing and watching chess and it's actually hurt my rating.
Threw away another won game in the end game. I really really really don't want to have to grind endgame puzzles but it's seeming 100% necessary to get above the fucking 700 level for my retarded subhuman fucking ass.
Just dropped another game to a fucking reveal check trick. 100% autopilot, 0% skill or effort. I hate myself and you guys are going ot hear about it
Chess on cocaine? I've been over chess lately, I still play daily, but more out of habit, I don't study, I don't improve, I just mash out games during idle periods of the day. I haven't played rapid in over a year. My rating will occasionally streak up near my peak, but inevitably falls to mediocre. Recently rediscovered my love for the game while on cocaine. Well more like, recently discovered cocaine, and chess is a happy afterthought.Also the rating I used to muddle around in is laughably retarded now. Anyways back to studying the puzzles I left 14 months ago.
>>5375010041100, jeet. tomato tomatoe
Okay just played a game where I built a lead all game and didn't throw, now I can finally feel okay. >>537586351If you have "cocaine for chess" money, you have a it good
>>537586959Cocaine is pretty cheap now days. At least in my area. Kind of weird how its defying inflation, maybe some economist should write a paper about it.
>>537587140illegal drugs are one of the few things not affected by tariffs
buying a bag of coke and sitting in your room playing chess is like buying a gaming pc just to play solitaire
>>537587478at least go play with some irl people, ya.
>>537587365It's broader than tariffs, and it also defies most of the drug market. Cocaine has gotten cheaper, significantly, over the past 8ish years. Where other drugs have stayed the same or increased slightly. I'm guessing it's due to some geopolitical factor, enforcement in production countries, or perhaps some undiscovered method of global transport, or degradation of agencies hindering trafficking. Cocaine is still an expensive drug, but it's not as expensive as it was in the past.
>>537587478I am playing chess on a gaming PC as well.
>Since I'm back into chess, time to check in on my boy!!!I guess I kind of expected it
>>537588818Poor soul thought he could be 2500li by last Christmas, only to discovered he's hardstuck over there too, 300elo below
>oy vey! What's the DEAL with gold medals with no name, it's like they bought it on ebay. *nasally kvetching schizo noises*God, he's so jewish.https://youtu.be/P2zE-0_N92c
>>537589109I hoped he'd be 2100+I just want him to get CM
>>537588818he just needs to study openings more
>>537589965l feel like Stjepan is a good case study on why alcoholics seem to find "random" success in chess. Stjepan would benefit immensely from relieving the pressure he puts on himself and just playing the game. This guy is holding a 20 lb carrot up his ass every time he plays a rated game cause he knows he's gonna have to explain his play to his little youtube viewership. If the nigga just tried to play the game and not worry so much about looking like a retard he'd improve.
Just played the Black Lion. My rating is improving fast, think I need to buy the course mates.
>>537589151You can take the man out of judaism, but you can't take the jew out of the man.
>>537590565>why alcoholics seem to find "random" success in chesswhat do you mean? is sobriety hindering my elo?
>>537591940Play drunk. You won't improve, but you will gain new insights. A lot of old school drunkards abused this.
>>537590927>tha doivoydoi>boi it
>>537588818kek, the absolute state of adult improovers
>>537589151I'd want my name on my world championship medal too, but FIDE has a long history of handing out shitty trophies.
>>537597079what the fuck is that trophy, some random fucking rock or ant/wasp nest?
>>537597221vulcanic rock picked by the icelandic organizers to represent their country
1700 rapid chess.com currently 1850 peak i only play gambit openings and dont know any theory am I basedenglund, alien gambit, fried liver, traxler, stafford, and tennison are my favs
>>537603362post account
>>537597079Yeah, but you wouldn't complain about it literally on stage in front of a world audience like an ungrateful entitled whiny jew.
Who do you think will win the first game of the Oza match?
bros mickeymura just signed up for my local "preschoolers' friendly sunshine chess cup," what do I do?
>>537619239you should invite Farmireza too
>>537619239>>537623331Oh my lands! Is there, per chance, a blitz section?
Is there any Russian speaking anon here who can tldr what is Kramnik saying in those 2 new videos he put out? Is he going after Levitov?
>>537603362gambits are based only if the lines are home cooking and not something you memorized from a homosexual youtuber. in that regard there is not enough information to say
>>537642634>>537603647https://www.chess.com/game/live/142620746816?move=0heres my last game destruction with stafford gambit closed account cause I have school rn and waste too much time playing trying to get back to 1800
Does this pattern have a name?Somehow I don't think I've ever seen it before,I even triple checked that it was mate cause it looked so weird to me
>>537647357study this my fellow chessplayer
>get back into chess after 2 years of not playing>suck dick>starting to do quite okayish, but still waaaay below your old elo>look up your old games>you played like a monster>tfw the old you would destroy you completelyHow do I get back to the old me?
>>537647357Don't see it listed online, closest is arabian mate
>>537589151this is based thoughbeitever
>>537647357
>open youtube>magnus playing TT in the recs>he's losing against sarana >as soon as he loses he spends like a minute blaming the air quality in the room he's inkek to quote a wise man the most important thing in chess is to always have an excuse
>>537660720>it wasn't even a jeet so I could read coded antijeetism into itSAD!
>>537659905the king isn't in the corner retard
>>537647357>>537659905I call this the cornerless mate.
>>537647357This is called the false fork mate since it forks the enemy king and your own rook
>>537615927Fujiithe only question is how many games he'll let the other guy have to save face
>>537677708You're not fooling anyone shogitranny
how do i get better at chess
>>537680019Stop being a nigger
>>537625106kek
vishy sir
My brain turns to mush when I play today, like I totally glaze over and play with my mind off. Think it has to do with eating sugary food.
>>537683973Running unironically solves this problem
>>537677708Ito's beaten Fujii before though (he's the only one who's actually beaten him in a title match), and Fujii seems to be in a bit of a slump at the moment, so it's not a given that Fujii will win.
>>537685034Push ups or squats after every game is what I've been trying
The most annoying puzzles are like>you are in check, have to move the king>4 moves lose>1 move wins>good luck
name a better gambit than the stafford gambit Reminder that Eric Rosen regularly beats titled players with is so the refutation is not trivial
>>537687642d3 e3 be2 game over thanks for the pawn, literally so easy.
>>537689210C3*
>>537548602You are forgetting the official rules: >cheating never happens >anyone who brings up cheating is the enemy >indians do not cheat, don’t imply they do>every chess site bans all the cheaters anyway
Just threw a game where I was up +5. I am never going to leave the ranks where Wayward Queen is a thing
>>537692404My opp just blew a M7, M4 and M2, and transposed it into me M1ing him. It's the little things in life I suppose....
>>537689210faggots will play ng4 and try to be gay, some people play h3 to avoid all the main tricks and the rest is playing chess
>be me>lose bullet gameUh yeah the air is dreadful, and if I open it there are like 100 people that I also like I am not I didn't come to this tournament with the best mindset but like we actually have an airthings device here that is not on. I don't know it says RA or something like that. Uh coz honestly it's just unbearable. And I have to wear this fucking headset, so yeah I'm like at the end of my day
>>537705704i think wifey ain't putting out
>>537705821He got 1 bone in now she's preggy signing the divorcerape papers
>play c4>mfw
3+0 is so addicting. I could do it for hours if I didn't stop myself.
>play in OTB tournament>hear kids whispering"chess" or "chest" when checking their opponent's king.I can't tell if this is a meme or ignorance.
To OTB anons... how do you put your knights? Looking forward or by the side?
>>537715935To the side is OP
>>537715935Face your enemy! Show no fear!
>>537715935to the side is some faggot copycat shit that only braindead npcs do. Just put them forward and worry about the game
>>537715935They look at each other because they're in love. When one is killed, the other looks at the enemy king.
>>537715935I put them forward because that's how i learned to play chess
>>537716348this comment has better writing than some movies
Black to move.
>>537721454knight takes pawn duh, it's free now
>>537721454Boom bing boom EZ.And if goes there, bing boom bing boom bing
>>537721454>Silman's student here.Retreat my bishop out of danger. Once that's done, castle to put my rooks in the center and control the files.
>>537721454Qb6#? Am I tweaking?
>>537727348I think the tricky move is supposed to be Bg2+
>>537716728I beat this on the hardest setting. Was it even 2000 lichess?
>>537728272That move plays itself, this is a mate you would easily find in bullet
>>537715035this but 1+0 and also i can't stop myself
>>537528941He's higher rated than me so why not.But I learned today that he doesn't mind the Englund very much anymore though so I guess I have to take back my answer.
>>537721454bf2+ kh1 bg2+ kxg2 qxh2+ kf3 qg3#bf2+ kxf2 kh2+ ke3 (kf3 bg4+ ke3 same thing) qg3+ kd4 rd8+ and there is a mating net which i am pretty sure always culminates in kxc6 and qb6# or another mate on the a file
because i think it's funnyphoneposting brain >>537727348computerposting brain >>537738694
but i guess that bxh2+ kh1 bg2+ kxg2 qg3+ kh1 bg1# is the better line...
bh5 qh2# there you go fuck chess
I hope this thread dies. Hate the OP pic.
>>537751619based and same
>>537751619>>537752012this thread shall live
>>537752095
>>537715935forward retardlooking away and not making eye contact is a sign of submission and passivity
>>537715935Backwards, so my opponent mistakes them for another piece later.
>>537715935lying on their side so they can rest before the next jump - ᗜ -
>>537760504I'll unironically try that
>>537765259Play crazyhouse
>>537752313>distraught chuckyJews did this.
Nordirbek said he thinks Gukesh will lose the next WC. Who will beat him?
>>537776036anyone
Botez leaks, are they real?
>>537778628what about the chud jobber from the last candidates, could he beat guk?
>>537780091ok not him
>>537778685Yes. Her lawyers are working around the clock to shoa the whole thing. There’s videos of her getting railed by some tiktok faggot but they’re censored at the moment
>>537751619Does it make your penis feel funny? Does it make you feel empty down there?
>>537780208THANK YOU CHUDASOV
Will Magnus ever care again?
>>537723526kek
>>537790483Probably not, he's set for life, he doesn't have to care
>>537778685>>537780946What? Where do I find them?
>>537790483Why would he? He can not care and still rape Hikaru.
What chess book as a 1500 shitter? I've been doing 10 tactics a day in 1001 tactics for club players but I want to try something more
>>537795279More importantly which one? the fat goblin or the short bogged one?
/chess/ prefers /our goddess/ Anna Cramling
>>537795617Yeah, I unironically like her. She's fun and seems genuinely nice.
>>537795279>>537795470I’m not gonna spoon feed you buddy, I’m sorry. Not exaggerating when I say her lawyers instantly file DMCAs for sites that host them, so sharing links isn’t smart. If you know where to find “nude leaks” you should be able to hunt them down. It’s the shorter one, andrea. It should be easy to find
