Post sneks.Discuss sneks.Enjoy sneks.All sneks are welcome.
le snek of mental illness
>>56195107Seviper is pretty cool tho. The only thing I dislike about it is its eyes. I wish they weren't as "evil-looking".
>>56195107Seviper deserves better
Hmm, I don't post these very often. 2013 was over a decade ago now.>>56195146I like it! Could stand to have a Dark typing with how hard they went in on the evil-coding, though.
>>56195083Cute snek
Wish giant friendly snakes were real.
Shhh, Arbok is sleeping.
>>56199411GET THE FUCK UP THERE'S A CHAMPION OVER HERE THAT NEEDS TO BE EATEN
>>56198851Learn2snakecharm…
>>56199500Disturbing a big, poisonous snake doesn't seem like the wisest thing to do, anon...
>>56199500>>56202039>Officer Jenny brings her bike to a stop>she'd been called to deal with a belligerent shouting at a wild Pokemon>evidently, the situation had escalated since>"NOT ME YOU DUMB FUCKING NOODLE! THE CHAMPION IS RIGHT OVER THERE!">the snake is curled up as though to sleep, eyes even closed>its neck and body under its hood is distended with a noticeably human-sized lump>and a pair of definitely-human hands grip the sides of its jaws from the inside>"ARE YOU DEAF OR JUST STUPID? THE LONGER YOU WAIT THE LONGER SHE GOES UNEATEN!">definitely more angry than scared>Jenny freezes with her hand on her pokeball, stunned at the strange display>the Arbok's scales bunch up and stretch in a wave up its body>the bulge moves down>the hands slip away>and its mouth closes, providing a surprisingly effective muffle >Jenny shakes her head to clear it >hopes she's still not too late>she tosses her pokeball>"Arcanine, Crunch!">a Flamethrower could harm whoever's inside, after all>with luck, the snake will just disgorge him to fight>then a Roar and a pair of handcuffs would finish up her call>the other Jennys don't have to deal with this shit>why do the weird ones always wait for her patrol
giving this thread the hiss of life
Would you kiss a snej?>>56195146They move more like worms than snakes though
>>56195146Dark types are evil types in japan through, thats why its eyes are like that
>>56202874Part 2?
>>56202874see, bad idea
>>56204918Thinking about it. I can't decide whether to go the vore route (Jenny gets eaten) or the more cohesive route (Jenny is victorious)....actually, I think I figured it out while writing that. Still, tomorrow. Snake needs sleep.
>>56202874>>56204918>"CHAAAAAA!">Arcanine takes another solid hit and collapses>he growls and tries to get up >the potent venom coursing through his veins has other ideas>Jenny runs over as his legs buckle, Potion in hand>attracting the ire of the injured but still feisty snake>it hisses and flares its hood, trying to dissuade her from aiding its attacker>and the officer hesitates - but not for the hood>her gaze locks onto the lump of scales >still moving, thankfully>but the Arbok's slithering has clearly done a number on his endurance>to say nothing of whatever its digestive system was trying to do to him>unfortunately, it doesn't matter why she pauses, only that she does>venom drips from the Arbok's fangs as it rears back to strike>suddenly, a beam of ice slams into it >it's an immediate knockout, and its limp body tumbles onto the grass>Officer Jenny turns to see her savior>it's... another snake, swimming through the air>twice the size of the Arbok>did it just want to take out a rival hunter? >"Hey! Are you alright, officer?">running beside the snake is a woman with long, blonde hair, dressed in a black sleeveless shirt and black pants>her hair accessories and the blue dragon running next to her (carrying more black clothing) seem familiar...>"Um, yes, I'm alright, miss...?">"Cynthia. Sorry, I had to take a brief stop at the store.">the name rings a bell for Jenny, but she busies herself attending to Arcanine while the newcomer approaches the Arbok>"Hello, Arbok. Would you mind releasing that man? I have some tasty berries to replace him.">she gets a tired but defiant hiss>Jenny finishes checking up on her Pokemon, and the two return to Cynthia and hers >"That's too bad.">suddenly, she pries its jaws open and stuffs her arm inside>Jenny lunges to grab her>"Ma'am, don't-!"1/3
>>56208221>her hand is back out just as quickly>the floating serpent dips its head down as though kissing its smaller cousin>but there's a clear spurt of water to force whatever it was deep into the Arbok>the snake gags and convulses, remarkably active considering its recent beatdown>grimacing, Jenny grabs the other woman's wrist>"Listen, Cynthia. I can tell from your Pokemon that you're not from around here, but you can't torture Pokemon, even if it ate someone. Without a Trainer, it'll be put down, but we'll do so humanely.">Cynthia stares, surprised, but doesn't pull away>the human-sized people bulge starts moving back up Arbok's body>"It's an emetic herb mixture I found in an old Kantonese foraging guide... actually, that's why I'm visiting here in the first place! Did you know there's a flower just off this very route that only-">"Ma'am.">Officer Jenny tugs her wrist for emphasis>"Right. But no, it should only induce vomiting once in a snake, and I also picked up some berries to help him get the taste out of his mouth. Perfectly harmless otherwise. Garchomp, would you mind?">the strange, angry man slides out of Arbok's jaws>unconscious, in drastically more threadbare clothing, and suffering from numerous minor acid burns>but alive>the dragon - Garchomp - stalks over to the exhausted snake and unwraps the black clothing>an apartment of berries tumble out>some Pokemon-to-Pokemon conversation later, the Arbok starts eating the berries>Cynthia watches placidly, while Jenny runs the name over in her mind>"A shame he has to be killed for this...">Jenny nods>"Yeah, but it's a matter of public safety. Without anyone to rehabilitate it, we can't have a wild Pokemon running - slithering - around with a taste for humans. Especially one strong enough to take out an Arcanine while encumbered like that."2/3
>>56208227>"Yeah... Oh! I wonder if Koga might know someone, or be interested! He's got a soft spot for poison, I recall.">THAT name stands out to Jenny>"Wait, Koga? As in...">"He's still in the Elite Four here, right? I don't have his contact directly, but I'll ask Blue to pass a message along. Assuming you can safely keep this guy detained until he comes back with an answer?">and getting a better look at the black overcoat Garchomp holds>the pieces fit together in Jenny's mind >"Wait... Cynthia, are you...?">the blonde woman smiles as a "message sent" tone plays on her phone>"On vacation from Sinnoh? Yes I am. This is a nice region to visit, especially since I'm not here just for a tournament. Fascinating history.">the officer releases the Champion's wrist>"I can't believe I tried to arrest you!">Cynthia seems mostly unfazed>"Would've been the right call, if I had actually been torturing Arbok here. Speaking of which, is everything handled here? I don't mean to rush, but...">"Oh! Yes, Arcanine and I should be able to keep it under control, at least until more help arrives.">"Great, I'll get out of your hair, then. Got historical artifacts to look at, native ecology to experience, and only a couple days to do so.">Cynthia strides away, Milotic and Garchomp returning to the balls on her hip>certainly an unusual call>the other Jennys don't get to see this shit>...>wait, shit >Officer Jenny grabs her radio>"I need Pokemon control and medical, got a man covered in acid burns and a rowdy Arbok. Soon as possible on that ambulance, I do mean *covered* in them!"3/3
donutsnek
Bluh, unread count is having a bit of a glitch. Moderately annoying.>>56208369Would it help if you imagined that the Cynthia in the story was actually a Zoroark?Also, most likely not trans.
>vorefag (shaun) vs vorefag actionI actually love to see it, please both fuck off with your disgusting murder fetish
>>56208597Sorry to disappoint, but I'm here to stay. Though, rest assured that it's for my love of the serpentine rather than any hatred of their prey.>Ooh, I love the sexy slither of a lady snake!Besides, I'd hardly call that green a vorefic. The vore was incidental rather than central.
>>56208668And I will continue giving you shit for it and for trying to ruin sneks for us. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm here to stay!
>>56208686I don't mind. Always good to see more people who appreciate snakes.
>>56204051bad idea bad idea BAD IDEA!!Once they get a taste, they're gonna want MORE! Unless the snek in question is a vegan.
>>56209858You mean like in that picture where a fine Serperior lady polishes human dick while Hilda watches in shock?
>>56210006good ideashe probably tastes delicious
>>56210006Doesn't matter, Cynthia is alive and nothing threatens her
The only one who ever died is shaunberg's fellow jew, kikenfart. You see, as a jew, kikenfart fears the samurai so much that Great Nintendo merely had to raise an eyebrow, and he pissed his gay robe in terror and gave up on his shitty """art""" for good. Jews like kikenfart also get very little nutrients from their kosher food, so he starved to death a mere couple of days after losing his last bit of income. So little, in fact, that kikenfart's own stomach acid burned right through his stomach lining and splashed all over his intestines. kikenfart tried to scream from the agony, but his kosher """food""" and its lack of nutrients left him too weak to even draw breath. When kikenfart's Puerto Rican landlord finally showed up to throw out his last remaining possessions, he found kikenfart's shitty tablet and wiped it clean of kikenfart's unfinished """art""" so he could sell it for meth money.
>>56210113No, she is alive according to all official sources.
A hymie midget raised on kosher """food""" like shaunberg will naturally end up even weaker than a malnourished pajeet. Notice how shaunberg, as a yid, has no spelling errors when typing in his native language, yiddish. Meanwhile, whenever he tries to type in English, so many typos abound. This alone is enough to out shaunstein as a filthy jew, who was kicked out of Nasser Yorat University and not New York as he tries to imply, and was rejected from the University of Tel-Aviv and not UTM. As a member of a (((tribe))) with a professional victim complex, shaunberg's only available instinct when punched by a single pajeet was to curl up and beg for mercy, then play the victim later, rather than fight back like a real man would.
>>56210168As I said, she is alive according to all official sources. Do you have an official source stating otherwise?
Arceus hates kikes like you, shaunberg. He looked into your heart even before your Khazar mother shit you out, and knew that you were destined to be a useless NEET who couldn't even finish an easy mode major from CAS. He made sure you were destined to never complete college, and destined to be rejected by not-Cynthia. And now, you're destined for the needles and electric shocks of the Peel Mental Hospital or whatever the fuck it was.
>>56210426Link it, and correct bulbapedo and other sources if it's right. If it isn't, you'll going to have to concede that Cynthia is alive and well. Which she is!
>>56208597Im an endofag thoughever
>>56198851I hear Burmese pythons (ones that have been acclimated to humans, at least. Don't try petting a wild snake) are very chill and friendly. Unfortunately they're also big enough that you can have a fatal accident if handling one alone, though I can only think of one time a captive Burmese python has ever killed a person.
>>56208668You cannot escape the BONK, Serpy!
>TFW the noodlefucker doujins lied
Incoming based take:Snake'mons should've been planet-sized by default.
>>56211074Which one is stuffing that blue marble into their cloaca first?
>>56211080I think Serperior becuase they're the biggest.
>>56210781I'm building up an immunity to it. One day, I may even eat the bat itself! Muahaha...
>>56198851>>56211074If only...
>>56211074bigger
>>56211024Play nice you two!
>>56212610And then you also built up immunity to Flamethrower. Sure, sure!
>>56210119What makes you think Shaun is a modeling victim? If you're not lying out of your ass by some chance, that would make him a second Moses fanboy with this gross fetish that I'm aware of…
I motherfucking detest you AutoCorrect!
Just finished writing some green for another board. How are y'all's days going?
>>56218217Could be better, have no energy at all to do anything today.
>>56218217... you ate someone again, didn't you?
>>56218387Ain't that a mood and a half. Just one more day until the weekend, at least...>>56218693...well. Yes, but that was wholly unrelated to the writing. A snake's gotta eat.
>>56218801next time consider a salad
>>56198851BCI is the answer for you, although for snakes "friendly" is more like "trusts and prefers you over other people".
>>56220068I wonder what a fully domesticated snake would be like. Some species are moderately social, so I don't think it's completely impossible, but we're easily a millennium or more away.
>>56222727lol cute
Going by the latest flavour of the week autism, I heard that binging out a noodlemon within Cynthia's vicinity instantly bestows upon you a 5-star wanted level…
>>56214456Or else what, you're gonna put them inside the penis explosion chamber again?
>>56211024Are these 2 up to something hilarious again?
