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I have nothing but pure love in my heart

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Human women could never ever

>>58627419
is that unown i see
is this implying there are unown fuckers out there
based if true

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>>58627419
but I am not a human woman. I like to imagine good scenarios, not cuck myself

Yeah screw marrying a human wife. I want a pokemon wife. Only a matter of time before Pokemon shows it off in some capacity.

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>>58627491
if they can actually pull it off I'm selling them my soul instantly

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>>58627491
>Only a matter of time before Pokemon shows it off in some capacity.
The Gardevoir short was pretty good but if they went further and fully crossed the rubicon I have a feeling normalfags and moralfags would go insane and shit themselves.

>>58627530
I think you underestimate how much lonely fucks would kill for it. you could raise an army enough to topple america with that kind of promise

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grasssnakewife

this shit is so weird even for the internet, I wonder if pokewaifufags get off to the massive imbalance of a relationship where the human male has the upper hand in a way you can never see with a human female

>>58627944
>in a way you can never see with a human female
you'd be surprised. regardless this is all idealized fantasyland stuff where both participants perfectly understand and respect one another even though one is a cartoon animal, i doubt the imbalance is a factor

>>58627419
>female human x pokemon
cringe

>>58627944
i see it the other way around desu
humans are extremely weak compared to the vast majority of pokemon

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>>58627944
in my headcanon, and according to some versions of official canon (anything but the anime) pokemon are shown to be just as intelligent as humans. I just want the fluffy wife (or scaly, or whatever). personally I'm not a real big fan of huge imbalances

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>>58627944
maybe some people think like that
but all i can say is that what i want is for mesprit to forcibly rewrite my emotions and make me love her unconditionally
and i don't think that makes me have the upper hand in the relationship

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you can’t marry entities incapable of consent, ya silly willy. It’s quite literally rape.
if you disagree, Lord Arceus will send you to hell.

>>58627944
pokephiles are repulsive lonely shut-ins who refuse to do the bare minimum of looking presentable and having a pleasant personality, so they instead fantasize about molesting fantasy animals and dare say it’s “love” when it’s literally just lust.

>>58628133
you aren't him

>>58627472
nothing “good” about molesting pokemon and deluding yourself into thinking they’ll love you in a romantic capacity.
>>58627970
>MY lust is based, HER lust is cringe!
pathetic

oh wow, the faggot is back in my thread to suck cock
>>58628106
BASED

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>>58628106
>forcibly rewrite my emotions
to leave it alone
>make me serve* it* unconditionally
by giving it as many pokepuffs and berries it wants, maybe. stop projecting your fetishes on pokemon.

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>>58628143
doesn’t matter if I am him (which I am) or not, what matters is the tenacity to remind pokephiles they need to repent, or they’ll never receive any mercy in the afterlife.

>>58627944
There is literally nothing the average human can do if a pokemon wanted to harm you.
Unlike humans, they are monsters on the outside.

>>58628140
Could say the same about human relationships. If you expect a woman to love you that's unrealistic. That kind of thing is most prevalent in fiction for a good reason.
You are certainly a childless loser yourself, no family, just /vp/ and we'll always be here.

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>>58628266
>human relationships
not even remotely comparable lmfao
as expected, your pokephilia is driven by your misogyny. you’re so repulsive irl that you blame women for rejecting you, and so you instead fetishize fantasy creatures that can only *HONK* and *SCREECH*, and ontop of that, you project your misery on others. just because you’re a pathetic pokephile reprobate and breathe air, it doesn’t mean everyone else who also breathes air is equally as pathetic as you.

>>58628287
Not reading all of that. Icetails is sexy.

>>58628106
On a completely different level to everyone else in this thread, I kneel

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>>58626531
Me and my wife on our farm

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Imagine treating pokemon like animals
what a fag haha

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goodnight thread. I dream of sleeping with my wife

>>58628287
Don't forget *GRONK*

>>58628148
Now now, let him believe that human women will be begging for his attention so he'll be the one rejecting them.

They're already soulbound to you via dark magic (pokeball), why do you need to be married too?
That said, it seems you mostly want the pokemon that look like humans so maybe it's just a compromise.

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>>58629623
there's a different type of connection you get with marriage. and are Zoroark and absol really that close to humans?

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For me? I'd rather treat the critter like a roommate. Maybe a coworker, like at a bakery. Bombirdier already has an apron so that fits.
People in the pokemon world would start rumours (evil) about me. Would they be true? Perhaps.

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>>58628133
Would verily!

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Definetely would!

>>58628140
am i supposed to believe that this is a bad thing
no matter how hard you pretend it matters statistically doing the bare minimum won't make a difference for these people and they know it, so they choose to cope about it through an outlet that doesn't disturb anyone. what's wrong with that. like if someone is fantasizing about being in a relationship with a cute fantasy creature that treats them as an ideal partner you should be able to figure out that maybe realistic romantic pursuits are a foregone conclusion and doing the "bare minimum" wouldn't make a difference. some people just aren't desired. you'd have to be insane to tell anyone that they shouldn't be allowed some small personal happiness despite that

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>>58630483
>some people just aren't desired
I beg to differ, I'm taking value out of the market myself

>>58628287
so weird that you want to fuck icetails but keep up this bit for so long

>>58630483
don't try to twist it around. you're not a shut-in who doesn't take care of himself because you're not desired, you're not desired because you're a shut-in who doesn't take care of himself.
i've never had any attraction to other humans, but i have a modest social life regardless. and i've had to turn people down and tell them i'm not interested, because i take care of myself enough to be perceived as kind of attractive.

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I'm too emotionally retarded to be attracted to other people.
That said, this bird can also join as another mascot as neither could really do much baking. This would obviously contribute to my negative reputation which would lead me to getting run out of town and having to live in a cave.

>>58627944
I love the kind of woman that can actually just kill me

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>>58630741
>>58630800
fuck, I thought it was just me with the hole in the brain to feel nothing for human women. I work out every day to prepare for the day I may hold my zork wife

>>58627944
You lost femshit.

>man weds his ditto
>no one notices and thinks hes just a ladies man with a different girl each month

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>>58630927
This btw. Why would I want to have weaker human gf when I could have powerful monster gf?

>>58630741
your anecdotal experiences aren't absolute, and you're a moron if you believe taking care of yourself is the reason why you're attractive and not just your natural appearance determined by your genetics. i take fine care of myself, but good hygiene isn't going to suddenly morph one's bone structure or facial features into those of a more attractive man. you'll look presentable, sure, but looking "presentable" or "not abnormal" isn't the same as looking GOOD. it helps, but it's nothing that'll change much.
>you're not desired because you're a shut-in who doesn't take care of himself.
do you really think that people who received sufficient amounts of positive social reinforcement growing up or in their daily life would just suddenly become shut-ins and stop taking care of themselves out of nowhere? barring exceptional cases like trauma, people generally become self-neglecting shut-ins because they no longer have a reason to spend energy putting work into their appearance. as in, there's a reason they're like that, and it isn't because they're actually really well liked but just stopped taking care of themselves for shits and giggles. shut-ins only get that way when there's nobody they need to present themselves to, when it wouldn't make a difference. it is almost always the former case of people who give up when they realize they're never really going to be able to properly relate to others and they've never been desired by anyone.
>humblebragging
you're a person that was born attractive and lacks the theory of mind necessary to understand not everyone is a shower away from being desirable. seriously, getting approached isn't ordinary, or at least it's never happened to me and most men my age. you're out of touch with society, which i wouldn't mind if you weren't peddling "just smile 10 times a day bro" bullshit

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>>58631184
please refrain make gay blog post in my pokewife thred

>>58631184
>massive wall of text cope over how "everyone else is just born attractive and nothing is ever my fault wahhhh"
maybe try taking control of your own fucking life for once
you're a disgrace to pokefuckers everywhere desu

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Don't marry a pokemon, you do NOT get tax benefits.

>>58631322
i'm surprised you're on 4chan of all places and still can't understand that taking control of your life doesn't mean life will suddenly work out for you. all i said is that sometimes it's more complicated than just practicing self-care and you're seething over it

>it's another "retard builds himself a pity party echo chamber and becomes completely lost in it, then lashes out at people who don't join in" episode
i'm not even going to reply to you, but you know who you are.

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>>58628287
>misoginy
Remind me, what was the % of marriages resulting in divorces?
And again, how come lesbian relationships have the highest % of domestic violence of all relationships? (With the lowest being m/m of course)

Curious, isn't it? Wouldn't you say it makes you... notice?

>>58631184
Here is a suggestion: stop caring so much.
They say what you think reflects on your face.
It's true.
If you feel unhappy, you will look unhappy.
If you look unhappy, people will prefer avoiding you.
There's no bigger turnoff to everyone than looking unhappy 100% of the time.

Nobody wants to date an ugly person.
Nobody wants to even approach an unhappy person.

>>58631664
Cool, but men are still responsible for the majority of violent crimes.

>>58631743
Reported violence.
That's because men don't report whenever they get assaulted and, in fact, will get laughed at for even thinking about it.

>>58626624
ain't no way that ring stays on

>>58632464
you said that last time I posted

>>58631664
men start wars and commit genocides

>>58632825
>men are responsible for all the bad things in the world
>men are responsible for all the good things in the world
damn seems like men do everything
why do we even have women then

>>58633012
Sexxxxx
No but really

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>>58633012
because I cant impregnate that bussy yet. Maybe science will find a way eventually, but until then, I love my wife (not real :( )

>>58633012
I mean, that's why they didn't have rights in the past. Hell, even that is something we gave them!

>thread about pokemon devolves into talking about human woman
compromise theory coming visibly evident

>>58633525
Merely useable just as comparison.
Do you wish for a random boring furless weak human woman who does >>58631480 to reproduce, sees you as an asset and is often "not in the mood" to love you?
Or do you wish for a very loyal furry, scaly, avian, marine or alien companion who is strong, respects you and is always available for anything, from listening to you to having fun in bed?
Is it a compromise if a pokemon is objectively the better option for a partner?

>>58633525
Not compromise theory when it's just the result of several
>pokefuckers are weird and evil and hate women
posts derailing the ordinary topic. All of this is from people who don't get it

>>58632737
I thought it looked familiar

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Weasel Wife

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Me and the moth came to an agreement. It gets to stay in my house for free as long as it deals with all these eggs that keep appearing randomly.

>>58635322
HNNNNNNGGGGG

>>58628133
>>58628155
Stand proud, you are strong

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Here's an idea for Human On Pokemon (no marriage). Kanto Ninetales lays on me to warm me up -> I get warm -> I lay on Alolan Ninetales to warm Alolan Ninetales up.

>>58635474
my humble proposition: Ninetales are both anon's wives. that is all

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>>58635647
I am not mormon.

>>58635647
animals can't be your wives

>>58635647
you don’t want a wife, you want something to own and molest.

>>58636900
Thats literally what you do with human women???

>>58636892
Huh, good thing we're talking about pokemon here

>>58636945
human women require consent while pokemon can’t.

>>58636985
>require
Are you dumb??

>>58636993
you’re a zoophile

>>58636998
Worked.

>>58627459
you know honestly, it's just a living dildo really. If an individual Unown were capable of basic telepathy and mild telekinesis then it would be perfectly suitable to a home life with a woman. Plus it would likely be squishy and fleshy texturally.

>>58636985
Human women are too dumb, weak and dependent to consent.
Only men can consent. All sex with women is rape.

>>58627530
Gotta do boiling frog. Push the envelope slowly but surely.

Next will a trainer and their partner engage in a lot of hobby activities together.

What? They are totally not going on romantic dates... no no, it's just the two of them hanging out, totally, honest.

>>58627944
I like the idea that the pokemon has the control in the relationship.

>>58636985
Human women can threaten you with law if you rape them.
Pokemon will burn/shock/slice/crush you and more if you try to rape them.

>>58636998
VERILY!

>>58636985
Pokemon are perfectly capable of communication THOUGH

>>58637141
>*HISS* *GRONK*
>“communication”
lmfao

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>>58637205
They can perfectly understand your words and you can teach them how to speak your own language.
Or telepathy, telepathy works too

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>>58637215
>They can understand you
True
>You can [HEADCANON]
False
>Telepathy
No such thing, stop making up excuses and just admit you’re attracted to animals.

>58637226
>you're an headcanon and i'm ri-
TR meowth
>telepathy is an excuse
There are so many anime and movie mons using it that you don't even get a (You) for this

>58637246
>anime
lmao
Pokephiles are so delusional they’re taking everything but the games as canon, their schizophrenia included.

>>58637215
Icetails fag is illiterate and unable to communicate. That's why he fails to grasp that Pokémon have always been able to understand human language. Both the anime and games have demonstrated it plenty.

>>58637269
>let's only talk about the videogame
Ok.
-You give orders to your pokemon via voice.
-gen3 scientist is developing a pokemon translator (it means pokemon can into complex language)
-b2w2 zoroark talks in english
-the rotom in the rotomdex chats with you. (I think it also flirts with you? Not sure)
-other things i'm likely forgetting

>>58637292
>You give orders to your pokemon via voice
Such as “Pikachu, use thunderbolt!”, not “Pikachu, suck my dick!” like you wish you could.
>gen3 scientist is developing a pokemon translator (it means pokemon can into complex language)
no, it’s just so humans can understand what pokemon are saying, this says nothing about pokemon being intelligent.
>b2w2 zoroark talks in english
1. it’s a gag
2. it can’t speak on its own, it’s like saying a parrot or a raven can speak just by mimicking human sounds
>the rotom in the rotomdex chats with you
the anime you worship so much touched upon this, rotoms can’t speak on their own and need human tech to do so.
even in the game, all non-phone rotoms can only HISS and GRONK.

>>58637319
Is a brain in a jar not human? It is capable of thinking and reasoning, yet it can't speak. Pokemon are just that, merely with a different jar for the brain.

Or we can just talk about mute people, are they not human? They are obviously capable of communication, just not vocal communication.
You're a retard and not him, get outta here.

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Honestly the pokemon world is so sick and immoral that it's safe to say 1/3 single men you see with their pokemon are up to something unholy.
Doesn't even matter which pokemon either, could be this snail, somehow.

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how is it unholy when the priest literally called it holy matrimony. are you stoopid?

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pokemon are as intelligent as humans and through anime cartoon logic every trainer can understand their own mons. this is the optimal headcanon. now go marry at least one (1)

>>58637767
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think floatzel is a fox lmao

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>>58626531
please do not

>>58638042
a basic ass furry who believes only foxes/dogs/wolves/cats exist

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>>58637226
>>Telepathy
>No such thing
Heh

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the image that BTFO'd icetalesposter forever

>>58638145
thats not the original icetales poster, it's a copycat only pretending to be as retarded as he was for attention from strange men online.

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Sounds like you're forcing me to pick one, OP. I pick this one, because no one would assume I was up to something walking down the street.

>>58637226
>>You can [HEADCANON]
>False
Did you just forget about Team Rocket's Meowth?

>>58637767
That's a weasel

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Last thing that <insert funny option> sees before being smothered to death

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This "animal" is coming for you, human. Try fleeing or accept your fate.

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>>58638917
I flee. What is a fox going to do? Besides all of this, in order of course.

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>>58628140
I'm a pokephile and I married a pokephile. We're pretty quiet & content with being introverts, but otherwise your points are a miss on each count.

>>58638895
my GUY.
could you STOP sucking the DICK of Pokemon's Best Friend

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Tina!
Though, really, if I was in the pokemon world, I'd probably just be an average guy, or worse. As a result, there would be no opportunity for something like this to ever present itself. Frankly, if there somehow was, I doubt it would happen anyways.

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these pics are so comfy, better than porn

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What I want is a daughterwife that is so insanely spoiled from the time she leaves the egg that you can't tell who owns who or who is doing the training. She would be a BRAT with daddy issues!

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>>58638042
>>58638506
You're right

8 foot tall Garchomp wife

>>58638042
City slickers know not of the legendary animal known as "weasel"

>>58642808
10 foot garchomp wife

>>58643074
12 foot garchomp wife

>>58638990
Same here. Been the happiest time of my life.