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High IQ Mass Effect roleplayers immerse it up by coming up with creative in-universe reasons why nobody says his/her name. Such as naming your character:

>Commander Adolf Shepard
>Commander Nigger Shepard
>Commander God Shepard
>Commander Osama Bin Ladin Shepard
>Commander Devil Shepard
>Commander Satan Shepard
>Commander Hitler Shepard
>Commander Monkey Shepard
>Commander Big-Head Shepard
>Commander Queenie Shepard
>Commander Queefy Shepard
>Commander Stinky Shepard
>Commander Pussy Shepard
>Commander Smelly Shepard
>Commander Lucifer Shepard
>Commander 1488 Shepard
>Commander Vagina Shepard
>Commander Evil Shepard
>Commander Bubbles Shepard
>Commander Succubus Shepard
>Commander Incubus Shepard
>Commander Injustice Shepard
>Commander KANG Shepard
>Commander Jihad Shepard
>Commander Strawberry Shepard
>Commander Scooter Shepard
>Commander Tutsy Shepard
>Commander Poopsie Shepard
>Commander Gaylord Shepard
>Commander Herpes Shepard
>Commander Finkleberg Shepard
>Commander Karen Shepard
>Commander Dickie Shepard
>Commander Chlamydia Shepard
>Commander Uranus Shepard
>Commander Cunt Shepard
>Commander Bitch Shepard
>Commander Molester Shepard
>Commander Milhouse Shepard
>Commander Ching-Chong-Ding-Dong Shepard
>Commander Pixie Shepard
>Commander Eenis Shepard
>Commander Peeny Shepard
>Commander Sister Shepard
>Commander Fanny Shepard
>Commander Jeffrey Epstein Shepard
>Commander Boner Shepard
>Commander Sugartits Shepard
>Commander Cumwinner Shepard
>Commander Boobies Shepard
>Commander Butthead Shepard
>Commander Peewee Shepard
>Commander Gay Shepard

Yeah it's cool to name your guy Sebulba Shepard, Raj Shepard, Shrek Shepard, Lucky Shepard, Galaxy Shepard or whatever based sounding shit like that, but explain why no character in all 3 games mentions your 1st name? You can't. The trilogy makes more sense if nobody says your name with the good reason like they're afraid to do so in-universe... be it they're afraid to look racist, or afraid of offending the boss, etc.
>>
Please take my meds so I can make stupid shit posts like this instead.
>>
his name is john buddy
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>>3347956
"John"
Except it would fit the Lore far better if you were to shortly extend that name him into "Johnny Nigger". Which is why denizens of the Galaxy are very reluctant to address him by his first name, and not even really wanting to abbreviate it into a nickname "John" either. Imagine if you were serving on a military starship and pic related was an earthborn ex-gang member raised on the streets, he is your boss and named "Johnny Nigger". You'd probably be too nervous to call him even "John" at that point, and would never relax I.E. be very careful to only address him as "Shepard" or "Commander" always.
>>
A fat janny made this thread.
>>
>>3347474
>please take my meds
no

>>3347956
>canon name? john
no

>>3348021
>OP is fat
no

>OP is a janny
no
>>
>>3347449
>Flight Lieutenant Jeff "Joker" Moreau. Helmsman of the Normandy SR-2. Masturbation enthusiast with porn addiction. Best pilot humanity has to offer, perhaps the best pilot in the Galaxy. Class clown of the ship he serves on. Modeled after Seth Green. Voiced by Seth Green. "Written" by Seth Green.

>Flight Lieutenant Gordon Malloy. Helmsman of The Orville. Masturbation enthusiast with porn addiction. Best pilot humanity has to offer, perhaps the best pilot in the Galaxy even. Class clown of the ship he serves on. Played by "professional Seth Green Impersonator", Scott Grimes.
It seems pretty clear Orville's Gordon Malloy is a direct rip off of Mass Effect's Joker. He's even more "plagiarized" off of Joker than Peter Griffin is "plagiarized" off of Homer Simpson I'd gambit. And that's a good thing. I always liked Joker so he fits nicely into a Star Trek spinoff. Based off Gordon's character I'd imagine Mass Effect is one of the few RPGs Seth Macfarlane loves. He works closely with Seth Green voicing family guy, so Green probably convinced MacFarlane to play the ME trilogy given how much Seth MacFarlane fucking loves Outer Space. And Seth MacFarlane loved the trilogy so much, he ended up writing the helmsman in his Star Trek spinoff to be a clone of Mass Effect's Joker! Probably lots of Joker easter egg references within the show, such as the subtle "I can do it..." reference in the first episode.

Speaking of Seth Green. How much did he get paid for the Mass Effect trilogy? And how much did Mark Meer (Male Shepard) get paid? Idk much about voice acting salaries, but I'm thinking Seth Green got paid over 10 times as much as Mark Meer? thats gay if true. Both did a great job bringing the character to life and should be paid substantially for contributing to the trilogy but Mark needs the raise most of all. Jennifer Hale is great too sure, but contrary to popular belief, when viewed next to supreme ME VA Mark Meer she's actually only okay in comparison...
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>>3347449
I named my Shepard Dennis
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>>3348686
Earthborn backstory with Renegade Shepard is funny if you pick a milquetoast name like Wilson or Dennis, the only real problem is nobody says your name.

I've heard some players say the only proper way to play these games is to make your character as horrifically deformed as possible like pic related Staci Shepard bc battle scars made her hit the wall in her mid 20s here. Given how much battle Shepard has seen it makes sense he or she is not exactly attractive anymore after already getting shot in the head with hyper-velocity rounds dozens of times by age 28.
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>"Ffs! Conrad! I haven't been shot in the head nearly enough times to make that sound like a good idea! You're clearly not ready for the SPECTREs, damnit! Go home and be a family man!"
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What are the consequences of denying Jack the Cerberus files upon her recruitment? It has been awhile since I tried that, but doesn't it delay Jack's loyalty mission a few "turns"?

If so, it might be the only way to keep everybody alive (without the cheesey "exploit" of delaying TIM's Derelict Ship mission) during the Suicide Mission. You'd have to recruit Jack immediately before Horizon, tell her to fuck off back to Space Africa when she asks you for the Cerberus file access, which might(?) delay her loyalty mission request until after the 5th mission after Horizon. The problem is for a "perfect run" here you need to slip in a 6th mission before the Collector ship to recruit Thane on Illium, which you can normally do if you save Miranda's loyalty mission for 5th, except the problem is since Jack is loyal she will teleport you off of Illium to trigger the pic related fight with Miranda after doing her mission 5th, forcing the Collector Ship mission and making you unable to recruit Thane on Illium for a 6th pre-Collector Ship mission you squeeze in.

Idk, I could be misremebering, but I'm drunkenly calculating Suicide Mission survival mechanics in my head here, and I'm about 90% certain you would actually be able to "save everybody" if only Loyal Jack did not fucking teleport you back on your ship upon finishing Miranda's Illium mission 5th. And by "save everybody" I mean what I mention in most of my Mass Effect threads, you are not exactly doing a legitimate ME2 run if you plan to delay the TIM's Derelict Raperr mission, you'd be doing a Mary Sue cheese run. I.E. Don't ever delay that mission or ME3 will feel even more lacking in player choice/consequence. Forcing yourself to sacrifice squaddies in the Suicide Mission just adds something soulful to Shepard's journey, with the RP ruthless calculus element of Shepard pondering in-universe the harsh consequences of whose loyalty is most valuable overall towards contributing to the success the Omega 4 Relay mission...
>>
>>3347449
there's an indian guy at work named Nijjer that i'm afraid to speak to for this very reason
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>>3349032
>Nijjer
This is probably the most foreign sounding name I've heard in my life. If I tried to breed any race and name my offspring that I'd be jailed for on about 20 different hate crime laws.

Indian male Shepards make for pretty funny playthroughs though since the thought of a hindu dude speaking in Mark Meer's voice is just plain ridiculous.
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>"SHUT IT DOWN!"
Wait which one is actually even was """client race""" here again?
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ME1's intro was surprisingly stupid on replay
>Everyone assumes Saren is evil because a crooked dockworker said so
>Can only act pissed at the council even though your case against Saren is a flimsy witness account
>Citadel embassies, which in lore are super special prestige symbols for the various races, are just tiny offices with 1 desk
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>>3349430
Mass Effect 2 is like that too sometimes...
>Greetings Shepard Commander.
>We are Legion.
>Our combat class is literally named "Geth Infiltrator".
>We have a verbatim ingame dialogue line bluntly stating "Geth do not infiltrate.".
>Yes.
Yes AI is the future. Yes don't worry that's a good thing. Also the crooked dock worker knew Saren by name which is why his testimony seemed intriguing enough to the Normandy Crew. He was a low IQ out-of-the-loop normie, but typically only high IQ well-informed elite individuals even know the name Saren. As for the Embassies sucking in Mass Effect 1, idk, I mean the Presidum is still based since it has 0.2 standard gravity, fancy air and very expensive water and such but I guess they were a somewhat small. I'd blame the Keepers for the embassies being too small. Either way the Citadel feels way more alive in ME1 compared to ME2 and ME3. And it is fucking immersion-shattering as hell that Shepard chooses to walk around the Citadel with no guns or armor in ME3, when millions of indoctrinated sleeper-agents are capable of attempting to assassinate Shepard there.
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Good news I acquired secret leaks for Mass Effect 4, it sounds surprisingly consistent with the Lore. Here is everything I know so far:

>Mass Effect 1 Council was killed
>Black Kaiden dies in Mass Effect 2 during the Suicide Mission. And it is canon that Shepard always fucking hated Jacob, Bioware trying to win back fans' wallets here desu
>Genophage was wisely left uncured
>Quarians and Geth are once again at war
>Rachni and Krogan are once again at war
>Kid on earth was never even real!
>Collector Base was wisely saved
>The Citadel Council is run exclusively by the Volus
>This is a VERY bad thing for every race except for the Volus themselves
>Samara sadly dies retaking Earth
>Miranda sadly dies retaking Earth
>Liara sadly dies retaking Earth
>Urdnot Grunt sadly dies retaking Earth
>Kasumi sadly dies retaking Earth
>Joker and the Normandy crew sadly all die retaking Earth
>Kaiden sadly dies retaking Earth
>Cyber-Shepard sadly dies retaking Earth (Buzz Aldrin's "One more story..." line is not retconned. Shepard's Citadel DLC Clone is Mass Effect 4's protagonist)
>N7 wannabe James Vega and his boyfriend Steve Cortez both sadly(?) die retaking Earth
>Tali tragically dies retaking Earth! The horror!!
>Jack sadly dies retaking Earth
>Javik survives the mission to take back Earth. Sadly he goes full edgelord and kills himself 2 weeks later, so Javik will not appear in Mass Effect 4
>Garrus sadly dies retaking Earth
>Admiral Anderson dies retaking Earth
>Admiral Hackett sadly dies retaking Earth
>TIM survives and rebuilds Kai Leng in Project Lazarus 2.0
>Cyber-Kai Leng is now 5 times more Mary Sue than he was in Mass Effect 3
>Luckily Zaeed Massani survives the mission to take back Earth against all odds somehow
>Zaeed plays a MASSIVE role in the next trilogy, Mass Effects 4, 5 and 6
>Zaeed remains DLC character costing over $29.99 per game

So we can still have best squaddie again next trilogy, great. We just have to pay an extra $100 to unlock him. Is that reasonable?
>>
>>3348758
My Shepard is Barbarella Shepard, very attractive bimbo woman that is dumb as a brick and asks really stupid questions with obvious answers. She joined military to have easy access to the delicious soldiers. She accidentally became biotic adept because she thought getting military funded implants meant something different. Council scouted her for the spectre programme because she was very vocal about her love for other species, which hadn't got her many fans amongst the humanity supremacists. She fancied the asari councillor, and was very disappointed when she learnt from Liara that extranet lied to her and that asari don't have a penis. Her usual tactics is to hide behind big Krogan or Turian boys and throw the ugly sexless geth or batarians around while yelling "Gross, get that away from me." She suspects the Illusive man keeps a clone of her as a sexdoll. She wanted to fuck Joker, but was afraid she would break his bone. She seriously thinks there really is a bone in the boner. She would never admit it, but she might know more about the scale-itch that spreaded on Normandy. She wanted to throw Miranda out of airlock, because there is place only for one alpha bitch on the crew.
>>
>>3349828
>very attractive bimbo woman that is dumb as a brick and asks really stupid questions
Here's the pic related Character Creation Code for the perfect Shepard for the specific build you use. Also don't worry about why I have pic related saved in my Mass Effect fap folder.

If you ever play as a female Shepard, you should place RP restrictions on yourself as the player for the sake of realism. Ideally no Paragon interrupts, no Renegade interrupts, no "Blue dialogue choices" and no "Red dialogue choices" while rolling femshep. Femshep is hardcore as shit but she doesn't have the balls to pull off those astronomical speechcraft maneuvers that Mark Meer lands!
>>
>>3349828
Interesting. How did she treat Morden and how did she react to Wrex getting married?
>>
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>>3350000
>Krogan
>Marriage
Wtf? I can not even fucking begin to imagine a Krogan getting married. According to Detective Vakarian The Krogan have not even invented houses yet so I doubt they'd understand the concept of a marriage. You give the lesser races too much credit.

Do you mean when Urdnot Wrex "declared" over 900 Million Krogan females (including more than a few minors) to be his "wives" without their consent? I'd hardly call that an honest marriage. Nice quad btw
>>
>>3347449
when is someone going to make a mod reinstating the ME1 animations, hair, outfits, and over the shoulder running animations to LE1?
>>
>>3350354
This but more importantly when are you guys planning to release more free mods that equip femshep an even cuter butt than Operative Lawson? This will finally prevent all (or almost all) female Mass Effect fans from intentionally killing her during The Suicide Mission every playthrough.
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>>3350354
What were they thinking!?
>>
Why didn't John Shepard order Miranda to dress like pic related? Did he suddenly forget he was in command of the entire operation? Sorry but I'm calling serious plothole bullshit here.
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>>3349032
Lucky for you Nijjer is not a Spectre
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>>3350000
no because actually the real question is would he rather be a Krogan Battlemaster for a day, or an Asari Commando for a day? a lot of anons could learn a lot of deep insights about their true inner selves by pondering that very question
>>
>>3347449
Commander KROGAN COCK SO GOOD Shepard
>>
For some people nickname sticks so well nobody call them by their real name
>>
>>3356037
The ingame codex entries are well written. But these games need codex entries on all varieties of alien genitalia be it legendary Krogan super weiners, smelly Krogan pussy-vaginas, Batarian little tiny penis and etc.

It seems unnerving that Asari sleep with Elcor and Krogan. I'd imagine those kinds of space niggers have HUGE space weiners. And honestly If I to guess here I'd wager that even the average Elcor man would have a superior space weiners than even the mightiest of all Krogans ever have! How do they not accidentally murder the Asari by fucking them to death? Is it mostly Asari mind sex with very limited penetration action in this case? There's a Krogan on the Citadel that dreams of fucking the Asari Consort but his Krogan buddy comments Asari look squishy and gross to him. Wrex even "jokes" about having fucked members of alien species to death in the past during the Citadel DLC. Was he serious? Idk if Wrex was "joking" or not here. Is that a thing in the Lore? Women get fucked to death daily by Krogan Warlords and Elcors? Based if true. Dangerously based.

No homo but I need a codex entry on Big Krogan Cock, Big Elcor Cock, Big Turian Cock. Tiny Quarian Pussy codex entries too. And a codex entry or two for Asari Birth Canals. I just want to familiarize myself with the Lore here. Wouldn't Liara's space pussy be outrageously loose since it never evolved to take cock, instead it only evolved to poop out blueberry babies? Perhaps Shepard and Liara have to engage in a lot of anal butt stuff together because her space vagina is waaay too big to please or be pleased by our human cocks, but the Asari dating that Krogan transport technician bro on Illium completely avoid anal because fitting his BKC in her butthole would be like trying to insert a Monster Energy can in a cheerio, whereas her oversized Asari vagina synergizes somewhat well with his oversized Krogan Cock? idk
>>
Based thread. God I miss the pure retardation of old /vrpg/
>>
>>3348950
pic related Jack's eyes look full of fear while Shepard and Miranda's eyes look full of dark lust as if they are planning to double team rape Jack together
>>
It is mindblowingly gay how there is no Codex entry on Asari Mind Sex. Somebody needs to make an AI voice splice mod of the based Codex narrator guy doing an entry for Asari Mind Sex but it would have to be as Lore friendly as possible. As well as a codex on Quarian sweat I suppose seeing as we technically have a lot of Lore on that thanks to some deranged autistic ME fan. Modders also need to make AI voiced variants of the secondary ingame Codex entries featuring the original VA Neil Ross's epic voice (fun fact he also voiced Colonel Volgin in Metal Gear Solid 3). We can all probably agree it was incredibly poor sportsmanship on Bioware's part to not voice those secondary Codex entries in the Legendary remake with him. Did modders fix this yet?

Honestly Shepard should have been able to ask Liara about this in far greater detail ingame as well as Codex entries being needed for it. For example if you talk to Liara T'soni on the Normandy SR-1 and bring up the investigate tab, one of the listed options should obviously be "Alien Mind Sex" here. Like I can't even find a photoshopped meme image of Shepard talking to Liara T'soni with the three tabs "Benezia" and "Asari Culture" and "Alien Mind Sex" shown for ffs. Can anyone make that image for me? Thanks.

I suppose if any anons are kind enough to make an AI Voice mod where Neil Ross's voice narrates an entry on Asari Mind Sex, I could volunteer to write the script for it. I have some reasonable Lore theories on what Asari Mind Sex feels like from an in-universe meta perspective. I'd be the right guy for the job to write immersive Lore friendly lines for such a mod, but idk much about mod making. I can easily write a Lore friendly standard 3 paragraph ME Codex on Asari Mind Sex, idk if I could write a non-standard 30 paragraph entry on Asari Mind Sex. Im pretty sure the mod would be even funnier if the entry is inexplicably 10 times longer than normal as Neil explains how awesome Asari sex feels with scientific accuracy
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>>3349828
>She seriously thinks there really is a bone in the boner.
Barbarella Shepard is correct, because in the case of the Krogan I believe there likely is literally a massive space dinosaur-esq bone inside of their Krogan boners.
>>
>>3349430
ME2's ending was surprisingly stupid too. You would think Dr.Chocolates owes Commander Shepard sex after rescuing her from that horrific collector pod but she does not put out even after that mission. At least Yeoman Kelly Chambers is polite enough to reward Shepard with plenty of sexual favors afterwards should you choose to save her life during the Collector Base assault. Most Mass Effect 2 players only rescue Dr.Chocolates on their first playthrough because they intelligently assume it will trigger a romance with her down the line ingame, yet somehow the subject of sex never comes up with her afterwards! Wtf? This is probably just another stupid design oversight on Bioware's part. There is literally no way Karen Chakwas would not want Cyber-Shepard's huge dick in her asshole, especially after the Suicide Mission. Why didn't the Commander bang her? Thats a plothole.

And let's not forget ME3 has some parts that are just as stupid on replay. Why the hell didn't anybody on Shepard's ship or in the Alliance Brass suggest it is urgent that we must clone Javik? He is literally the last Prothean in the known Galaxy, in the event he should die on one of Shepard's many high-risk missions it is the final "Game Over" forever for the Prothean race. Did Dr.T'soni and Dr.Solus suddenly forget cloning is pretty commonplace in their late 22nd Century Space Age society? Wtf? And you don't even have to clone him ingame, you just have to suggest cloning him, they can still have Javik go full retard and chimp out screaming Protheans do not approve of cloning because of some gay Prothean cultural custom or something maybe. That would kind of avoid the plothole while still making feel Javik "Special" as the last member of his race.

Sad. I'm not saying these games are pure shit, I shitpost on this trilogy out of love, but we can all agree there are some pretty Massive plot holes in all 3 Mass Effects sadly. Just way too many such cases, like really Massive cases sometimes.
>>
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>>3347956
From a Lore standpoint? no. John Shepard was incorrectly selected by Bioware as the default name if you skip the character creator, they obviously chose this name because it is the most "average" sounding name when the game was produced in the 21st Century. Of course Bioware obviously chose wrong. Bioware should have made it Slim Shepard by default, or anything else that sounds "average" for the future. In the 22nd Century "Slim" will be the new "John" essentially. John would be some rare af name in 2183 that almost nobody in-universe has ever heard of outside of some ancient storybooks and old movies/ old rpg movie games, meanwhile Slim will become the 3rd most common name in Burger Land with over 6.3 Million Slims living in just the North American Union alone.

As for the equivilant name to John for 23rd century? idk?

>>3347474
Did you know you start Mass Effect 1 ranked as Lieutenant Commander Shepard? You get promoted off screen so starting out Mass Effect 2 you are Staff Commander Shepard, and unlike Gayden Alenko you never even reach the rank of Major or Captain etc. Did you even read the ingame journal and codex entries or were you too busy ODing on your pharmaceutical meds again?
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>>3347956
>"Hey. Something I can do for you, Commander?"
>"How's the Normandy SR-1 performing? Is she everything they said she would be?"
>"Look Commander, since everybody else on the ship keeps ignoring the elephant in the room I'll just come out and ask. I've read your file. It says you were born April 11th 2154 on the Mindoir Colony, right? So what's with the weird ass name, Commander? John? JOHN Shepard? What the shit is that!? Dude! What are you, some top secret time traveler actually born in 1908 backwater rural Texas, Shepard? WOW how'd you end up way out here in space, cowboy? And if you were really the best SPECTRE in the Galaxy why couldn't you stop 9/11 and the Holocaust back in your early life or something? More important side-missions to tackle instead back then, Johnny? Also. ."
>"That's enough Joker! I will not tolerate my crew spitting corny wisecracks about my Christian name! Just do your job and fly my ship, I don't have time for your crap! Is that clear?"
>"Y..yes sir. I'm sorry, Commander."
>"I should go."
>"K, see you."
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>>3347449
are there any mods in which I can actually boss fight Wrex on Virmire or the Citadel docks instead of killing him in a cutscene?
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>>3356037
>"HAH! Dont make me laugh, Wrex. It's pathetic when Krogan try talking big! Stand down!! I've encountered Elcor bonerquads on missions before!"
>"Oh yeah? So what?"
>"They are EVEN STRONGER than your pathetic little Krogan baby bonerquads Wrex I dont want you on the mission damnit! k? Go to the Normandy! Guard muh cargo hold now! You need timeout at the kids table you dumb cheese-brain lizard monstrosity alien freak! Go back! I HATE YOU WREX! Dismissed! Bye!"
>"GRrRrr! NO! This is varrenshit ShepUrd! How the fuck can you not see what this means for the Krogan? You expect me to lay down watching muh commander destroy the genophage cure that I've been seeking for 1,473 years? These are My People youre planning to genocide on your blasted mission! You CANT destroy it!"
>"Calm down! I can understand why youre a bit whiny, I'd even be a little mopey if I were a Krogan here, Wrex. But we both know damn well that scientifically-speaking Krogan are NOT organics, or even people! You know, The Krogan are just God's mistake, like that 285 IQ STG agent over there just said! Were you even listening? Youre not as smart as you look Wrex!"
>"WE ARE NOT A MISTAKE! Don't push me ShepUurd!! I followed you because I wanted to fight for something more than credits! Why should I stay loyal?"
>"All you need to know is I'm giving you a fucking order to stay in line, Krogan! FUCK! Wrex, these Krogan are NOT Your People! They are tank bred freaks! Did you forget STG Agents mentioning this to you, you fat fucking low IQ lizard nigger? So you'd be ok with your clan leader accepting Tank Breds into Urdnot?"
>"Well no, I wouldn't. Not unless he wuz with you, and if he wuz big? Still. Ok ShepUrd! You made your point!"
>"Good boy Wrex! Im surprised a Krogan was able to listen to reason this is historical now go guard my ship bro and stop using my computers! It pisses Ashley off how aliens are allowed to use human computers!"
>Bloodrage.jpg
>"NO! WREX CALM DOWN! We'll bang okay?"
>"Deal"
>>
>>3359932
Joker's real name is Jeff, so I don't really think he has a leg to stand on.
>>
>>3355613
Human forever
All aliens are scum
I am not a raceist because biologically we are all siblings
Everyone on earth evolved from the same organisms and if you go back enough we share a common ancestor
We are all cousins, even with niggers, even with jews, even with dogs, cats and fish
We are all one big family
But aliens evolved from different cells and are not family
Fuck em
>>
>>3360865
>for a day
Did you forget to read that part? If its just one day, whats the big deal? It's not like you're sacrificing your humanity permanently, you'll transform back to a human again 24 hours later in this scenario, richer from the experiance.

If you could be a Krogan Battlemaster for one day, this means you could crush all of your irl enemies and nobody would suspect you the next day, they'd all assume some huge alien lizard was responsible for the murder spree.
>>
>>3357258
>"If you are here to talk about Benezia's death, you need not bother. She brought it upon herself."
>"Forget about her. I don't care about that anyway. Maybe we can pick up where we left off? You were telling me about your interest in the Protheans. What can you tell me about the Protheans? Were they based?"
>"What? Based? Based on what, Shepard?"
>"Good Lord, are all aliens this clumsy, autistic and awkward? Or is it just you Asari?"
>"I am simply unfamiliar with the human expression you used! You'd be surprised how often different cultures in the Galaxy are not familiar with each other's specific lingo. What exactly are you trying ask me about the Protheans, Shepard?"
>"What about Prothean technology? I've heard it is dangerously based, from several good sources. Look I've found these 10 Prothean Data disks while scanning various systems recently, but I don't know what the hell they do. Are these disks based or not, Liara?"
>"BY THE GODDESS where did you find these!? I've been desperately trying to get my hands on just one of these Prothean Data Disks for over 50 of your years, Shepard! You're telling me you accidentally stumbled across 10 of them in just 2 short months so far!? That is beyond remarkable!"
>"If that's the case, it sounds like this tech might be pretty based after all. What does it do? Can we use them as a weapon to fight the Rapers!?"
>"Well, no, probably not, nothing like that. And they might take decades, or more, to decode. These can potentially provide us with very valuable clues OR insights into Prothean cultures someday!! Think of all we might learn!"
>"Ugh, great. Sounds cringe. I have to go! Meet me in my quarters at 21:00 hours Liara. We'll bang, okay?"
>"Bang? Cringe? What? I am sorry, I apologize for having difficulty following human languages sometimes. This is quite unprofessional for a seasoned archaeology expert such as myself, in fact I'm more than a bit embarrassed about the ordeal, commander..."
>"Don't worry about it."
>>
>"Jesus fucking Christ!! That was one hell of firefight! Shepard my visor is indicating you just lost a ton of blood! I'd probably be in a 601 day long coma if I were you right now! How the hell are you still alive, Commander?"
>"Ashley's not kidding Commander! You sustained outright Massive injuries during this mission! Holy crap, are you sure you don't need any medigel, l Shepard?"
>"I'M PISSED OFF! WHEN I GET PISSED OFF, I SHOOT THINGS! FIND ME MORE CHINESE WOMEN!"
>"Aye aye, commander!"
>"Let's move out!"
Why did Saren Arterius kill Keeper 488? Was he racist? What about Commander Shepard? Was he racist too? hmmm....
>>
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>>3347449
does anybody still have mass effect installed? /meg/ is dead and I'll need good pics of this helmet from all angles (for research purposes)
>>
>>3361856
Remember. Definitely don't forget you should always wear your helmet while in combat, Commander Stinky. It also might not be a bad idea to have to have Professor Solus and EDI research more effective helmet shielding tech in the Normandy SR-2 science lab on the CIC Deck maybe? Getting shot in the face with hyper-velocity polonium rounds is not fun.
>>
>>3361856
>"Humans have been trying to get the attention of the Galactic Community for years! Youre the first human SPECTRE! Care to share thoughts?"
>"We all know it should've happened long ago! The Council finally realized Humanity wont sit at the kids table forever!"
>"But some believe that without firm action on our part the Council will continue to oppress us forever! Have you encountered any situations where the Council demanded you place its needs before Earth?"
>"Obviously """The Council""" is wise enough not to ask me to work against my own people!"
>"Our viewers will be happy to hear it! Youve been given command of an advanced human warship for your missions. Anything you'd like to say about it?"
>"Heh. The Normandy is a triumph of Chinese ingenuity and engineering! Like our development of advanced fighter-carriers, it shows other races humans are more-than-capable of thinking outside-the-box!"
>"Thats gratifying! Many defeatists Officers claim the Alliance cant compete with the naval power, of say, the Turians? Do you think it was appropriate to hand over Earth's most powerful warship over to Asari?"
>"Miss Al-Jilani I still wear the Alliance Uniform! If you think anybody except me says where the Normandy can go youre sadly mistaken!"
>"No offense intended Commander! Im sure you have to obey orders from your superiors! Of course now your superiors are ALIENS! In your opinion who should be held responsible for the destruction of the Colony on Feros?"
>"Wtf? You dare asking about my classified missions? Are you challenging me!? IVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR RACIST FAKE FUCKING GAY SHIT, WOMAN! Prepare to die!"
>"Wha..?"
>KarateChop.jpg
>"Sir she might be dead!"
>"Do I look like I give a space hamster's ass, Vakarian? Lets back to our mission, stay focused, Turian!"
>"Yes sir!"
wear space helmets especially in TV interviews so people in-universe meme on Space 4chan about Shepard being a mysterious masked Renegade badass akin to Boba Fett and/or Dark Vader of course
>>
>>3361923
>>3361983
fuck off GPT, I need pics
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>>3361990
>fuck off robot
Wtf? First of all I'm not a synthetic. Second of all I'm just trying to educate you on Space Helmets anon, for your research purposes. Why the snobby attitude?
>>
>>3362034
if you weren't a synthetic you would understand what I need and wouldn't respond to my post with a vague wall of text
>>
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retarded Lorelet people think the Commander is this low IQ autistic stereotypical jarhead but that isn't true, he's actually quite gifted at hacking computer terminals for one example he just doesn't brag about it and he's also probably very skilled at Karate but is humble enough to never boast about such things.

>>3362107
BASED

>>3362079
Or maybe you're the synthetic, or worse, an alien? What are you, some sort of Geth Infiltrator? Why are you so interested in our N7 helmet technologies "sir"?
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>>3361856
>I need some sexy pictures of Kaiden posing in Phoenix Armor helmets from all possible angles
>It's actually for my own private research purposes obviously
What exactly are you researching? A cure for your erectile dysfunction? Did you try not being a homo? That might work too... Maybe.
>>
>>3362225
just attempting to recreate this helmet for some different game, stop larping
>>
Average mass effect tard
>>
>>3360860
First of all Joker is retarded, but also a very good Starship pilot too. And my favorite piece of ME1 headcanon from day one was Joker's real name is Sebulba Moreau but he legally changed it to Jeff Moreau at a very young age when he decided he wanted to be the best pilot in the Galaxy when he grows up. Joker is based though. He's like the equivilant an above average comedic party bro autistically obsessed with old earth history irl today and can tell you over 900 unbiased facts about each of Burger Republic's 45 presidents in a way. Ingame Joker references The Matrix 1999 and 2001 A Space Toddaccy etc, as well as jokingly using archaic old english phrases like "driving school buses" and "taking checks" etc. I'm not entirely unlike Jeff in this regard since sometimes in events of extreme drunkenness I unintentionally speak in a Perfect Historical immitation of a 1930s Chicago Gangster I am told which confuses my peers I guess

>>3362311
Yes sir nothing to see here EVACUATE THREAD! GET TO YOUR ESCAPE PODS HURRY R2!
>>
>>3362240
Wait you specificially want pics of Gayden wearing Gaydix armor helmets? Ok. I'm placing a formal reprimand on your permanent record. Dirmissed.
>>
>>3350354
a lot of the hair and outfits have been modded to be available for the other games, I think the walk cycles have been modded now too
>>
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If the Council weren't written to be such incompetent short-sighted morons, I'd say its ridiculous that they scold Shepard for not sparing the Thorian. Don't they realize The Illusive Man TIM could use The Thorian to easily birth thousands of Kai Leng clones per day? Not even Shepard and squad can hope to compete with just one Kai Leng so imagine if Cerberus had 6 million very loyal Kai Lengs running around to do their bidding? The entire Galaxy, even the Krogan, would be utterly BTFO by Cerberus. Unless there is some Lore reason why the Thorian can only control one clone at a time, I never understood the reason why it didn't send like 10 Shiala Clones to overwhelm you together, instead making you fight the clones individually. So idk if thats gameplay mechanics BS if its just how Thorian Lore works
>>
Star Child lies about Destroy ending killing all synthetics and you can't change my mind.
>Bro u will die cuz you half-synthetic!
>u will kill Jokers atom-punk gf!
>u will kill the heckin' wholesome redeemed Geth!
>u will probably even kill that helpful Citadel VI that gives all the useful info on how to navigate a playing area smaller than KOTOR's Taris!
And then you live through Destroy because the mother fucker lied to you. Notice how the little shit instantly schizes out in the Refusal ending? Its not benign in the slightest and I honestly don't even know why it allows you to make a choice outside of maybe hedging its bet that you'll be retarded enough to pick Green/Blue which will be a bigger win than just continuing the cycle again. Anyway, notice that not only does Shepard live, so that's one lie, but the ending slides never show neither the Geth nor EDI dead, only they are absent from the ending slides (who cares, just assume that BioWare were too lazy to add them in) and that Joker leaves Normandy alone (probably cuz the Relay exploded which fucked up the ship and now EDI has to stay inside and fix it while Joker goes on a stroll the lazy fuck). And hey, since BioWare is basically Godzilla's rotting carcass that is slowly sinking into the sea, I can bet that ME4 will never happen so I don't have to give a shit about what BioWare thinks is cannon.

So TLDR Shepard lives, Geth live, EDI lives and all the Reapers die, the end.
>>
Everyone seems to forget that "Master" is a title and "chief" is his last name. John Chief is Halo, Master of killing.
>>
ITT we post femsheps that would constitute as a 10/10 cutie in Omega during the 2180s but would be considered to look a bit on the average side by when viewed through the lens of of irl modern beauty standards

>>3363485
This is true but it is insignificant because Commander Shepard and squad would obliterate Master Chief in a fight. A name means nothing on the battlefield, like Snake said.

>>3363466
I agree. It's incredibly clear every word the Star Brat speaks to Shepard is a straight up lie, and Bioware PR people even tweeted extensively explaining to their idiotic fanbase that it's canon how Star Child is being deliberately dishonest with Commander Shepard.

It also would be a very fucking gay move on Bioware's part if Shepard isn't a character in Mass Effect 4 especially since the final line of the trilogy is literally irl Astronaut Buzz Aldrin speaking to a kid:

>"Tell me another story about The Shepard!"
>"Well, it's getting late, but okay! One more story..."

If Bioware goes back on that and retcons it by saying Shepard died, it'd rank in the Top 3 Betrayals of fans in RPG History when Mass Effect 4 releases desu
>>
>>3360865
>"Have you got a minute to talk?"
>"Actually! Wanted to talk! Medical matters!"
>"Huh?"
>"Aware that mission is dangerous! Different species... react differently to stress!"
>"Uh... What the hell are you talking getting at, Mordin?"
>"Past relationship with Tali'Zorah makes dalliance attractive as stress release! Still recommend caution! Quarian immune system weak! Could kill her!"
>"MORDIN!"
>"Yes?"
>"For the love of God, professor. Just because I'm a human doesn't mean I'm retarded! The last thing I need is some scientific how-to guide about how to pleasure Tali'Zorah sexually written by some kooky autistic 50 year old virgin lizard man! Uh, no offense."
>"None taken! Pfft! Human squeamishness! Typical! What do wish to discuss Shepard?"
>"I was curious if you could research a Batarian sterility plague, similar to the genophage you unleashed on the Krogan race. How feasible, expensive and time-consuming such a research product be this be?"
>Introspective sigh.jpg
>"Mordin...?"
>"First of all Shepard! Already explained genophage is NOT sterility plague! Merely corrects birthrate for post-industrial Krogan society! To answer question? Project you suggest would be simple, short and cheap!"
>"Based! So can you develop one and have it ready for me by next week? Consider that I find those projected Batarian population growth simulations I had you run awfully unsettling, Mordin..."
>"NO! Shocking suggestion! CRINGE! Already aware I disagree with your cold-blooded ruthless Renegade methods, human! Will NOT develop anti-Batarian Bioweapon for you! Like giving nuclear weapons to cave men!! Sorry but not sorry Shepard! Questions about Tali's vagina sweat!? Please ask! Otherwise politely fuck off letting me conduct imperative scientific experiments vital to mission!"
>"I'll let you work..."
>"Will be here if you need me!"
>>
>>3350354
actually we just want more mods that let us play as a Krogan attempting to disguise herself as a human like pic related
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>>3360865
I never understood why scientists describe Krogan as sapient. I'd describe them as a semi-sapient species at best. I also never understood why people say Krogan have long lifespans, they don't. I mean sure technically Krogan can live for several thousand years in theory, but over 99% of all modern Krogan die in battle before reaching age 5, so I'd hesitate to call the Krogan a long-lived species.
>>
>>3359932
kek the ending
>>3360860
Anon he barley has legs to stand on at all
>>
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>"Welcome to the Normandy, Jack. I'm Jacob, Shepard's 3rd in command. On this ship, we follow orders."
>"Tell the Cerberus nigger to back off, Shepard! I'm here because of OUR deal!"
>"Hey, Black Kaiden, you heard the princess! TONGUE MY ANUS NIGGER! HOW ABOUT YOU DO US A FAVOR AND FUCK OFF BACK TO SPACE AFRICA, HUH? LITERALLY EVERYBODY ON MY SHIP EXCEPT MISS GOTO HATES YOU AND YOUR NIGGER GUTS! YOU'RE MY LEAST USEFUL SQUADMATE REMEMBER? Dismissed!"
>"Hah! Based! And about my files?"
>"What about your files? I was bluffing, idiot. Can't read a good poker face? What are you autistic, Jack?"
>"SHEPARD WHAT THE FUCK!? You promised me the secret Cerberus files! We had a deal man!"
>"Whatever Jack. I'm altering the deal. First we'll bang, okay? And if I find the experience suitably romantic, MAYBE I'll give you the secret Cerberus files 2 weeks later. Deal?"
>Enraged Grumble.jpg
>"Jack? Deal?"
>"UGH Fine! I'll consider it! You better be straight up with me, Shepard! I can only tolerate so much of your bluffing before I FUCKING SNAP! Okay?"
>"Good, that's all for now, dismissed."
>"Im going to go find somewhere quiet near the bottom! Keep your niggers off me, better that way."
>Enraged exit.jpg
>"Shepard she can't be trusted! She's clearly mentally unstable and is a danger to the mission! We have to throw her out the airlock ASAP Commander!!!"
>"Miranda, stfu! I'm in command of this operation, not you! Don't make me summon you to the Captain's Quarters to kick your fucking ass again, Lawson!"
>"YOU FAIL TO RECOGNIZE HOW SERIOUS THE JACK SITUATION IS! I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND WE MUST.."
>"I SAID STFU CHEERLEADER CUNT! Let me at least bang her first, if shes crap in bed, maybe I'll space her. It's my decision. Dismissed"
>"Fine! I have important work to do anyway! Btw Commander! You should stop taking me and the Salarian on every bloody mission! We're always super busy doing the ship's computers!"
>"Noted"

>>3363940
TIM generously slightly fixed his legs up a bit after ME1
>>
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>>3363466
Hm... What did Bioware mean by pic related? Who would casually smile light-heartedly whilst completely engulfed in Literal Fire? It almost feels like Bioware meant to say something here. Perhaps Bioware meant to imply Commander Shepard is getting pretty Indoctrinated by this point in the trilogy as the struggle to resist Indoctrination grows more difficult which can be tricky to portray via gameplay mechanics. Reminds me of how Kotor gameplay mechanics can not "accurately" portray the luring calls of the Darkside tempting the player I guess. I mean it certainly does not look like Bioware is saying Shepard is now suddenly growing less Indoctrinated going forward in the Trilogy past this pic related scene right? Like wouldn't the Rapers want him more Indoctinated instead of less Indoctrinated? Why would they suddenly feel like stopping Indoctrination attempts on him now? They wouldn't. And was the kid on earth even real? idk. Nobody else in the trilogy has any interaction with the kid, not even the Alliance "rescue crew" on his transport never take even the slightest notice of him at all. Weird. What if Bioware intended pic related to be Shepard's inner-subconscious mind trying to warn Shepard shit like:

>This mysterious star child is Harbinger's mental avatar projected into your mind attempting to Indoctrinate you. Do not trust this mysterious star child, Shepard. The child was never real. You're losing it, Commander! This room is an illusion and a trap devist by Satan. You continue slowly growing Indoctrinated. Resist it! Trust your instincts! If you continue to trust this strange lying Star Child, you WILL burn (metaphorically) and suffer for it, Shepard...

For me? The first time I ever saw the child in my first ME3 playthrough I quickly started assuming "Wtf? Is this kid even real..? What if the Vancouver kid was never real? Why the hell do ALL of his scenes all feel 'off' and so surreal? Was Bioware intending me to question his existence..? Wtf..?"
>>
>>3361856
>/meg/ is dead
F
>>
>>3347449
>all these paragraphs of sublimated incel sexual frustration garbage

You know you could just say "hnng Jack" or "I like it when she tells me to say her name but she also means it as a verb" instead and just post hot Jack pics but no, instead you have to try to cover it up with this schizo bullshit. Why are you like this?
>>
Some extra tips for how roleplay Renegade Shepartd:
>Bang everybody
>Punch all reporters
>RP as pro Cerberus
>RP as pro Terra Firma
>Betray aliens whenever the game lets you
>take the chud interviews with reporters to frustrate the Alliance Brass
>Never take alien squaddies on any missions ever unless the game forces you to take them
>Do not allow Rear Admiral Mikhalivoichi to inspect the Normandy SR-1 instead tell him to eat a Vorcha fart and go home
>Do not allow Diana Allers on your Stealth Ship unless you intend to bang her hard af
>Never talk to aliens on the ship unless it is to intentionally offend and harass them
>Tell Jack to eat your ass when she asks for the secret data files, then bang her
>Do not do any alien squadmate loyalty missions or their side-quests
>Kill the Council
>Make zero apologies for killing the Council
>Keep the collector base, again making no apologies for working for Cerberus
>Genocide the Rachni
>Genocide the Krogan
>Genocide the Quarians
>Never relax around Krogan
>Never awaken Grunt
>Never awaken Legion
>At least try not to let any humans die on the Suicide Mission
>Never speak to Volus NPCs unless the game forces you to
that sort of stuff

>>3365615
wtf? is this the part where I accept your concession and warn you to catch a transport back to Citadel Space yet, Prangley? or does that come later?
>>
>>3365615
>just post hot Jack pics but no,
>Why are you like this?
I'm not sure I understand either your rant or your question. You're saying I need to post more pics of Jack being extra cute? The problem is Jack isn't exactly all that sexy really, so you're asking a lot here... Instead I can post Femshep looking extra cute. Enjoy!
>>
>>3362696
>hair and outfits have been modded to be available for the games
I'm not sure I follow. In other words they did it backwards? What we really want is all of the Fallout mustaches modded to be available in the Mass Effect character creator so we can roleplay as a real space cowboy Shepard instead of some pretend space cowboy larper Shepard. The mustache needs to speak for itself which isn't really a thing in vanilla Mass Effect or even Legendary Edition
>>
>>3363466
Unpopular opinion: Maybe she actually was indoctrinated all along. What if Shepard is the final boss battle in Mass Effect 4? This would leave only 3 options if the player wants to save the Galaxy:

>Kill indoctrinated Commander Shepard?
>Convince indoctrinated Commander Shepard to kill herself with Paragon dialogue?
>Convince indoctrinated Commander Shepard to kill herself with Renegade dialogue?
Sounds familiar. And again, not sure if choice or "illusion" of choice...
>>
>>3365600
Nice dubs soldier. Are there usually a lot of chicks in /meg/ or is it a sausage fest like /vrpg/? Not asking for a fren, asking for myself here mostly. If you find yourself in /meg/ can you please ask the Mass Effect girls why they always get Miranda Lawson and Tali Zorah killed "by accident" on the Suicide Mission? Wtf? They all do it! Is it because Tali and Miranda have a cuter butt than femshep? You should tell them it's okay and not to feel bad because femshep has a pretty cute butt too actually, and that what they're doing is actually natural and normal because I sometimes make a habit of getting Garrus Vakarian and Jacob Taylor killed "by accident" during the Suicide Mission because I RP my Shepard is jealous they have larger penises than me and I'll assume I'm far from the only male who plays ME2 this way. But yes femshep certainly has a cute butt why is this even a question?
>>
Anybody else miss elevator side missons in RPGs?
>"Message coming in. Patching it though."
>"Howdy there Hackett! What can I do you for, Admiral?"
>"Thank you for dealing with the hostage situation in the Hades Gamma Cluster, Commander. Chairman Martin Burns was quite impressed you were able to resolve the situation peacefully. You have gone above and beyond the Call of Duty."
>"Well thank you, Admiral. Permission to speak freely, sir?"
>"Of course, Commander."
>"I have very serious regrets about that last mission sir, and personally I wouldn't consider it a victory myself. The smart thing to do would've been to shoot first and ask questions later! Gun down every organic on that ship then blow her out of the sky for good measure! You know me, Hackett. I ain't racist, I just don't trust em! Biotics are not to be trusted, simple as! And to be frank I think it's a steaming disgraceful load of Krogan shit that the Alliance even allows biotics to serve in our fine military, sir! Heck, I even read some rumors on the extranets that some of biotics can read other people's minds! It stinks of a potential security risk! I'm not racist sir, I just don't like em!"
>"Understood, Commander. I should go. Hackett out."
The cool thing about this mission is iirc you begin the quest by listening to a News Broadcast riding in a Citadel elevator talking about biotic terrorists in the Hades Gamma cluster, at which point you get a bit of "player freedom" to fly over there and investigate if you feel like it. I wish we could still pick up side quests in elevators in ME2 and ME3 (and in every RPG that has elevators too I guess) but no. Each Mass Effect game in the trilogy is a massive step forward while also managing to be a massive step backwards. The lack of elevator side quests being an optimal example of downgrading between games. Verifcation not required.
>>
>>3359891
>Vasir, I let the Destiny Ascension die
How did I miss this like while going through the Liara DLC in 2? I assume this is where the line is from, since you kill Vasir near the end of it.
>>
>be femshep
>save the Galaxy multiple times
>log on the extranet. key words: Space Onlyfans
>open an account
>show (doctored or otherwise) footage of the Council literally Kissing Your Ass and tonguing your farting anus as they offer their sincere apologies for trying to fuck with you in the past
>you are now earning over 10 Million Galactic Credits per month from the Noveria subscribers alone (this also goes a long way towards amending previously damaged diplomatic relations between the Citadel and the Noverians)
>you are now earning over 4 Billion Galactic Credits per month from just the Omega subscribers alone (This also goes a long way towards amending previously damaged diplomatic relations between the Citadel and Omega)
>you are now earning nearly 1 Trillion Galactic Credits per month from just the Illium subscribes alone (this also goes quite a long way towards amending previously damaged diplomatic relations between the Citadel and the Tasale System of course)
>6 months later you suddenly have more money than even Barla Von and Saren Arterius and TIM and Henry Lawson and The Shadowbroker and Sovereign and Aria combined can even dream of having
>Your net worth is expected by Volus finance experts to explosively grow exponentially in the near-future
>What do?
Why didn't femshep just bang (or have EDI and Mordin create an indistinguishable deep fake on Space Onlyfans) the Citadel Council to get rich and spend the credits on goods and services and etc while she was saving the Galaxy?

>>3365615
>"HNNG JACK ewww your vagina is so stinky! Too stinky! I literally give up Jack! I quit. I officially can't perform, sorry. I should go. COUGH COUGH sorry. hnng...."
>"FINE JUST FUCKING LEAVE SHEPARD! I HATE YOU! JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE! OH WELL I AM SOO FUCKING SORRY IF MY VAGINA IS TOO STINKY FOR YOU SIR! GOOD-FUCKING-BYE YOU SHOULD GO COMMANDER FAGGOT!"
better?
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>>3365699
>RP as pro Cerberus
Is this even possible in 3? I'm playing it for the first time, and when the Illusive Man said he wanted to control the reapers, the only responses I had were different flavors of "go fuck yourself."
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>>3368097
>Can you be Pro Cerberus in me3?
not really, but you can do small things such as refusing to apologize to Kaiden and Ashley for working for Cerberus in ME2 which antagonizes them into hating you to the point they will even reject your recruitment offer. pic related

Working for Cerberus in ME3 was never an option because TIM is Indoctrinated since the start of the game
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>>3368120
>TIM is Indoctrinated since the start of the game
god damn it, TIM
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>>3368140
>be TIM
>get Indoctrinated
>"god dam it, TIM! YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!! Cerberus was supposed to be Humanity's Sword, not dagger in our back! You're Indoctrinated they're controlling you DAMNIT!"
>"No Shepard! Once again you are wrong! BECAUSE YOU JUST ARE, OKAY!?"
he was one if the Greatest of our race but he was still no match for the rapers unfortunately. he got too greedy, so blinded and obsessed with the limitless potential of the Collector Base (or her bombarded remains) tech that even in all his "self-proclaimed foresight" he did not foresee his obvious doomed af future of the Collector HQ Indoctrinating him and his top agents. Some RPs I wish there was a way to nuke the base and its tech but not nuke the surrounding ships, so we can examine dead alien culture shipwork and shit, except of course thats a non-option for the fact simple fact alone how even many of the dead ships most potentially have discreet Indoctrination Raper tech secretly installed hidden within them too. We obv should have brough WAAAY more space WMDs on that mission in hindsight of course too.
>>
>>3368140
>doing first Mass Effect Trilogy playthrough
>feeling confused
you can definitely trust me with your Lore questions also I'm not ESL nor a Vol Clan Rabbi or anything, just a drunkard shitposter Lore expert so some nights typos galore. But i wouldn't trust too many of the other moronic lurkers here with ME Lore tips or ME Insanity gameplay tips and etc. You'd be surprised how retarded the average Mass Effect Trilogy "fan" is, here or anywhere else
>>
>>3368001
>wtf how did I miss rare ME2 dialogue?
You select to kill the council in ME1, then while you're fighting the Asari SPECTRE on Illium in ME2 she takes a human single-mother as a hostage attempting to flee, at which point you select the "evil" dialogue choice, making Renegade Slim Shapard say something like:

>"BWAHAHA is this a joke? Did you not read my data profile? Vasir, I let the the Destiny Ascension die with "6,000,000" hostages on board! Including the Council! You think you're going to impede my mission with one random ass human hostage girl!? Pfft! Let me show you how real SPECTREs get the job done, you blue privileged Asarifu whore!"

semi related speaking of Tela Vasir. a spaced mod idea is anytime somebody ingame says "Asari pureblood" it is spliced to say "Asari inbred" instead. eh? idk could be based maybe
>>
Name's Jack. Jack Shepard. Then a bald retarded dyke comes along and introduces herself as Jack, not even her real name btw. That's why nobody calls the commander by his first name. In the first game they weren't on a first name basis and the commander was a hard ass so they were afraid to talk informally to their commanding officer. Also, whatever explanation the drunk doctor gives in the third game.
>>
>>3368967
I let the council die, played renegade, and just did the Vasir quest a few days ago. But I remember when Vasir takes the hostage, you have an intimidate option to distract her while Liara sneaks up behind her an bonks her with a table or some shit. I'm guessing that this dialogue comes if you ignore the intimidate option and choose the dialogue to just shoot the hostage. Either that or it IS the intimidate dialogue, and I'm just retarded and forgot.

>"Asari pureblood" it is spliced to say "Asari inbred"
I was a little confused why she was mad at Liara for being a pureblood, I assumed it was some resentment against an elitist culture of purebloods who think they're better than everybody else or something. Then later on, Samara walked into one of Harbinger's projectiles and died, then he roasted Asari for being reliant on other species for breeding. Didn't put 2 and 2 together at the time, but I'm guessing that pureblood are lower class? This is probably explained in the codices, but I skipped all the voiced ones.
>>3368848
lorebro save me
Also any insanity survival tips are appreciated. I beat ME2 on insanity and am going through 3 on it right now, but I'm always happy to learn more. Playing adept if it matters.
>>
>>3369441
wait my bad I misspoke I think you actually have to kill the Council then oddly select the Blue Dialogue choice when Vasir takes the hostage to get Shepard to say that iirc

>she was mad at Liara for being a pureblood
It's almost like some bizarre prediction on the future of wokism. pureblood Asari are heavily discriminated by mixedblood Asari for not being "diverse" enough. I also have a semi-related fan theory that the Protheans only attempted uplifting the Asari so they can serve as their sexy concubine servants but idk

>Insanity tips appreciated
helps if I have a specific mission to give tips for. Of course you can always cheat by equipping squaddies with an N7 Typhoon, but I wouldn't recommend it unless you're a member of The Cheater's League. Bioware straight up says the OPness of the N7 Typhoon on a squadmate is glitched to unleash way too much DPS. It can even kill bosses in seconds glitching the game to trigger a stream of opening dialogue panicking about the boss after he's already dead 3 seconds into the fight

>Harbinger talking shit to Samara
He talks a lot of shit to every ME2 squadmate iirc. He shits on Thane Krios boldly claiming the Drell to be a fake and gay race for having too low of a population. He shits on Urdnot Grunt boldly claiming The Krogan to be a fake and gay race for being infected with the Genophage. He shits on Tali Zorah boldly claiming the Quarians to be a fake and gay race due to compromised immune systems. He shits on Mordin Solus boldly claiming the Salarians to be a fake and gay race because their hyper-fast metabolism makes their lifespans too short. He shits on Samara boldly claiming the Asari to be a fake and gay race because they rely on other races for reproduction. He shits on Garrus Vakarian boldly claiming Turians to be a fake and gay race because they're too narrow minded and primitive etc. I forget what he says to shittalk Legion and the Geth but he will. but he likes humans so Harbingers not racist I guess
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>>3362311
>>3369441
Unpopular opinion: What if the Genophage was wrong? I know it sounds crazy, nobody wants to be outnumbered far over 1,000 to 1 by those savage evil alien godzilla monster niggers but consider this...

Let's say 1,500 years ago the Turians fought honorably and never deployed the Genophage? The Krogan obviously win the rebellions in this case. Then what happens? They keep a few of the more useful races alive in small contained slave populations. Keep some Quarian slaves alive to repair their stuff, keep some Volus slaves alive to manage your credits, banking and finances too. Keep some Turian slaves alive to build your guns and star ships, etc. Kill the useless races who aren't even fit for slavery. This way 15 centuries later or so when The Rapers do show up they would get STOMPED by the endless quadrillions and quadrillions of Krogan. Total Raper Death! Absolute BTFO. The Rapers probably have no chance at victory so they would have to give up. Their only choice being to go find some new Galaxy to antagonize every 50,000 years because a far stronger force is currently occupying the Milky Way. This is simply Galactic Darwinism as nature intended it but the Turians screwed that up with their fake and gay sterility plague
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Is Joker exaggerating in pic related or did Shepard really kill over 9,000 Batarian soldiers in one single battle in 2176 when he was only a 21 year old "rookie"? Because holy shit that is a HUGE number!

Big if true. Dangerously based, Shepard...
>>
>>3369441
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbs5FuPlgb8

This is a vid of 3 Geth Platforms trying to reach a consensus on what the best/worst guns in Mass Effect 3 are. You might find the data useful when selecting your weapon loadouts
>>
>>3369441
>>3371022
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUC9c2qRmT4

WHOOPS my mistake, I meant to post this vid. this should be kinda helpful in terms of Insanity tips
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>>3347449
Thread theme

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7cQewsGGtI
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Anyone else think Jack isn't that hot? Also is there anything behind the fan theory that Jeff Moreau is a Batman comics fan, so he nicknamed himself after the Joker? And that TIM is a Mortal Kombat fan so he named his beloved pet monster girl after Sub Zero? Has Bioware ever commented on this yet? Very based if true

>>3369000
>Commander Jack Shepard
Ehh it doesn't make sense though because your name is too 21st Century sounding in style. Commander Blackjack Shepard would fit the late 22nd Century setting better. More natural sounding and the like, more meta... Also, Subject Zero actually has pretty good reason to choose the name Jack from her POV. She named herself that because the word "jack" is synonomous with "nothing". As in "Bro do you have 5 credits so I can catch a transport? Because I don't have Jack Shit, some Vorcha just ate my credit chit!". Jack wants to advertise how worthless she considers herself with her obscure name. Remember her secret Shadowbroker file reveals her to be a failed poet too, so go figure
>>
good morning anons. posting more sexy femsheps
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Would.
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>"You expect me to trust them? Miranda killed Wilson in cold blood! Jacob is just a nigger for hire!"
>"Miranda did exactly what was expected of her. Jacob is a soldier, one of the best. I'm not saying you have to bang them, Commander, but they will be accompanying you to Freedom's Progress."
>Facepalm.jpg
>"Very well. I'll go get ready for the mission."

>>3356127
Wouldn't make sense with a double-dog based name with Galaxy Shepard or Skywalker Shepard. People would at one point or another comment on how cool and heroic your first name sounds as you walk the skies sheparding the Galaxy.
>>
>>3373501
Shepard will never be a woman
>>
>>3373711
Out of all 6 combat classes, can the weakest regular Shepard class still beat the strongest Femshep class in a 1v1?
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>>3374075
>IRL woman at the controls
Yes
>no lifer e-troon playing femshep at the controls
Perhaps
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>>3373711
>Roll Femshep in ME1
>Save the Galaxy
>Import character into ME2
>Get your ship disintegrated by Collectors and die
>During Project Lazarus, TIM orders that they reconstruct Femshep into Regular Shepard
Uh oh.

>"Illusive Man... I thought we'd be meeting face-to-face?"
>"A necessary precaution, for those of us who know what you and I know... How are you feeling?"
>"How am I feeling??! Why the hell did you turn me into a boy? I deserve a truthful explanation NOW!"
>"Well, we wanted the REAL Commander Shepard, not some cheap imitation! Just consider it an upgrade."
>"AN UPGRADE? No, this is bullshit, screw you and your insanity tier of dark perverted science garbage! I'll just stop The Rapers by myself! Okay? Without any Cerberus assistance! I'm leaving, because I should, well, I should just go okay!?"
>"Miranda was worried you'd react poorly to your upgrades. Crap. Perhaps I should have listened to her opinion..."
>"Hey! Asshole! I SAID I SHOULD GO! Bye!"
>Enraged Exit.jpg
>"Well shit... Time for Plan B in that case. Somebody please bring me Shepard's clone and a bottle of 47 Thessia Red."
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>>3374082
Fun Fact: If Mass Effect 1 were released in 2024 instead of 2007 what do you think would be different? Because the truth is Bioware would only change ONE thing and everything else in the game would be exactly the same. The literal only difference is at the character creation menu there would be 3 gender options instead of just two. Transhep, femshep and regular Shepard. And that's not a good thing. Why would we need more than two Commander Shepards? Because modern 21st Century politics? Bah!
>>
>>3347449
Colm Anders Shepard
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>>3363485
>Rank: N7 Staff Commander
>Name: Manguard Shepard
>Class: Vanguard biotic
>Race: Cyborg (formerly human)
>Occupation: N7 Marine (System's Alliance) Special Tactics and Reconnaissance (SPECTREs) and elite black ops terrorist (Cerberus)
>Loadout: Collector Armor. Black Widow X, Geth Plasma Shotgun X, Revenant Assault Rifle X, M-6 Carnifex Pistol X, Heavy Collector Particle Beam, M-12 Kassa Locust SMG X, inferno ammo, frostbite ammo, many biotic grenades, heavily upgraded L3 Biotic Implants with the most elite amps and an illegaly modifed Savant X omni-tool
>Carry Weight Cooldown Bonus: 200% (he never needs to cooldown)
>Squadmates: The best
>Morality: True Renegade
Who can beat him? No, not even John Chief, probably not.
>>
>>3347449
Not sure if right place to ask...

How do I acquire a perfect replica "cosplay outfit" of the sleek futuristic buisness suit Kasumi gifts Shepard in Mass Effect 2? I mean I've seen images of cosplayers wearing way crazier shit than pic related, but I've never actually cosplayed before. I should also mention I don't want the ME2 formal suit for cosplay conventions or that sort of crap, I actually intend to wear it for formal occasions irl such as weddings, funerals, court, etc. Feels like the only "RPG cosplay outfit" appropriate for such events. Appropriately based, I mean.

TLdr: How do I buy an identicle suit irl to what Shepard wears in ME2's Kasumi DLC mission? Like pic related
>>
>>3374082
>>3373711
Want more Mass Effect 4 leaks? Here are Shepard's ingame canon genders:
>Mass Effect 1: Male Shepard
>Mass Effect 2: Femshep
>Mass Effect 3: Male Shepard
>Mass Effect 4: Femshep
I'm sorry I don't like it either but Bioware already confirmed as much. At this point it is pointless to even try to debunk this new data.
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>[Warn the Fleet] greyed out
>Shooting Legion to death gave me the renegade points I would've needed to pass the check
>>
I feel like I'm having a psychotic episode reading this thread
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>>3377071
Wtf? Now the other anons need to take their meds because of my shitposts? Double based. Go take your pills kids.
>>
Is this thread written by an AI?
>>
>>3364497
I just got to this point, but my Shepard looked really smug as she burned for some reason.
>>
>>3365845
>>3371976
These femsheps are boring to me. Jack is some crazy vidya and fucking romp where you can choke her a little, bang her head against the headboard, leave handprints on her ass while she bites the pillow, talk her into mutual hatefuck of Miranda or that paladin fungus cunt, and she'll claw, bite back, and love you more for it but your femsheps want you to stand in the victoria's secret or pet shop while they buy 30 pairs of mall garbage that they'll never wear or a yappy purse dog that they'll let get run over in the street and they might stare at the ceiling to get fucked like a dead fish.

>>3368037
>>"HNNG JACK ewww your vagina
Sounds gay, not better at all.

>>3371590
>Anyone else think Jack isn't that hot?
No, I think Jack is hot from me2 and insanely hot starting in ME3.

>Jack wants to advertise how worthless she considers herself with her obscure name.
No problemo, I'm happy to inject worth into bitches with my cock.
>>
>>3373501
>Mall Store Recommendation Shepard

This nickname will stick.
>>
>>3357234
Don't Asari breed by shocking your nervous system? I bet Asari pussy is like a low power taser, constant cock and ball torture during penetration. Ardat-Yakshi are defects with a car battery installed and have secret techniques for scraping melted dick out of themselves.

Verification not required.
>>
>>3377071
I also feel like I'm having a psychotic episode from this thread, but unlike this poster I know that's just the magic of ME schizoposting flowing into me. Thanks, OP.
>>
>>3377256
>Please verify that you are not a robot sir
Is this some new meme around here? Everybody accuses memelord supreme of being a Geth Infilitrator now? No I am not working for the fucking Geth goddamnit. And people call me the schizo? How ironic is that?
>>
>>3367216
What I meant is that modders have made hair/outfits/animations/etc from me1 to be available in me2 and me3 (legendary edition). And items from me2 are available in me1 and me3 and vice versa. You just have to look for them, they are all on Nexusmods. You are correct about the mustaches, I never realized the variety was so limited.

>>3367643
Killing Miranda is pretty difficult but I did it the first time I did the Suicide Mission by accident. She was unloyal, I didn't have Zaeed or Kasumi, I'd lost Grunt and Legion and I took Garrus and Mordin with me to the final battle while Miranda was left to Hold the Line and somehow that killed her.
>>
Just finished my trilogy playthrough. The ending isn't as bad as I expected. The kid was stupid and poorly voice acted, and the Reapers just yoinking the citadel after the Cerberus assault raises some questions, and I was surprised I didn't get a shot of Jeff being sad that I blew up his girlfriend. Still, I don't understand how it caused all the kerfuffle it did back in the day. At least it gave us MrBTongue.
>>
>>3375693
First thing you should do is lat exercises
>>
I just finished the first game and completed Omega in 2, and holy shit, 2 is so much better than 1. Anyone claiming otherwise really needs to get their head checked.
>>
>>3379018
1 established nearly everything about the lore that is good, however 2 is definitely a better video game. Lorewise 2 matters not in the least.
>>
>>3379022
Correct. 2 was just such a massive breath of fresh air, though. Everything in 1 looks/feels so half-cooked.
>>
>>3378158
Oh mah bad! Wasn't I supposed to be offering you insanity tips? Looks like you were able to handle it without my council, good job gettin gud champ. My bad on all the delayed responses anons, irl has me busy at the moment. wish I had 24 hours a day to just post sexy femsheps/Insanity Tips/unapologetically meta greentexts/Lores/etc but some of Mass Effect chads actually have lives

pro tips? bro in my drunken shitposting last week I totally forgot to mention to you how Energy Drain is like nearly universally regarded as the most useful ME3 bonus power on Insanity for all Combat Classes. It almost makes the game slightly too easy, but it is my go to ME3 bonus power for my occasional ME3 zero-death runs. And you can't get Energy Drain if Tali dies in ME2, she gifts you the power when you recruit her halfway through the main quest. Once had a Colonist/SS Shep who accidentally got Tali+Garrus killed in ME2 and everyone else survived. When the Quarian Admiralty Board boarded my Normandy SR-2 in that playthru my ptsd Shepard was in-universe RP seething:

>"CRAP if only Tali were here! I bet she'd invent some top tier Omni-Tool move for me to obliterate Rapers, Geth and Cerberus forces with ease right now. ffs why didn't I fucking bang her? And Garrus was based too, for a Turian, I miss that little nigga like you cant believe"

Another ME3 Insanity Tip I forgot to mention? People mistakenly say you can only be rich in ME1, which is incorrect. Even on Insanity, it is incredibly easy in ME3 to quickly earn 10 Million Credits (max inventory), purchase everything in the game, and quickly get back up to 10 millie again. All you have to do is kick butt in the Armax Aresenal Arena. Players find it weird you're rich in ME1 and ME3 but always fucking broke in ME2, but luckily there is a cope that works for virtually every RP. Simply headcanon your Shepard spends almost all of his vast ME1 fortune "off screen" upgrading his Star Ship and funding Mordin's research projects!
>>
Anybody have plans for this Batarian History Month? I do. I'm taking my absolute strongest Krogan squadmate and my space waifu to the Sahrabarik system. Omega. We'll be spending the next 29 days kicking the fucking shit out of every Batarian we meet. Men, women, children. Don't even need to bring my SPECRTE loiscence, murder is already legal on Omega. Should be a pretty productive vacation to test out all our new ammo and tech upgrades and shit but primarily we simply wish to honor Batarian holidays I.E. this is a month long detour from our mq mission.

>>3378142
>You are correct about the mustaches, I never realized the variety was so limited.
How do you even remember how to find your own asshole if you "never realized" the Mass Effect Trilogy's most substantial flaw? This is something that pisses me off in any RPG with a character creator, a lack of mustache options. I'm biased because I have one of the most handsome mustaches on the US East Coast irl, strangers of all races and genders matter-of-factly approach me on a weekly basis to inform me they think my mustache is based as hell (not in those exact words verbatim usually). I mean I don't typically roleplay as a "clone of myself" in RPGs, yet in any game where my guy doesn't have a World Class tier badass mustache, I certainly find it far more difficult to self-insert "into character". So no surprise why I of all anons would find it downright fucking criminal how shitty the mustache choices are in the Mass Effect Trilogy!
>>
>>3379018
If that's the case, I'm sure you'll love 3.
>>
>>3377337
>Sounds gay, not better at all.
Good job soldier. You missed the mark. My Jack greentext was sexy because of the impossibly exaggerated odor of Jack's pussy. Irl I prefer my pussies as stinky as possible, the stinkier the better. SO IMAGINE THE SMELL! Imagine the smell in this scenario... That pussy would taste and smell Divine.

Let me try to explain why the greentext is sexy. Picture an absolute hardcore badass who doesn't afraid of anything. Like let's say Cyber-Shepard, or perhaps Urdnot Grunt here for example. Imagine Commander Shepard or Grunt is performing cunnilingus on Kasumi Goto's pretty little Japanese teenage space vagina, but they can't handle the smell, it is too stinky so they cower out and give up. As I try to picture this scenario in my head, I envision Kasumi's pussyvagina being the holiest scent I ever encountered. and now I have take some fap breaks tonight because I can't stop craving Kasumi's supernatural-tier Stinky private parts, which sucks cause I'll wake up slightly tired tommorrow after so much cooming tonight and I'm supposed to be seeing my lawyer tommorrow morning but whatever idc
>>
>>3379024
I'm inclined to agree on most fronts, however there was one major sticking point that I noticed again on my most recent playthrough, after not playing for about a decade.

Fuck ammo clips. Overheating is a way better reload system. They even had a lore justification and everything, and then they threw it away because people in 2010 needed shiny ammo pickups for the game to be considered good.
>>
>>3377337
>Jack is some crazy vidya and fucking romp you can choke her, bang her head against the refined titanium, talk her into mutual hatefuck of Miranda, she'll claw, bite back, and love you more for it but your femsheps wish only to go shopping and to stare at the ceiling to get fucked like a dead fish.
Inaccurate. You dont understand RP 101. She can be as degenerate as you wish during fade2black scenes. 100% up to player headcanon decision what happens during them. You can even roleplay she forces a VERY reluctant Garrus to eat her feces. Or vice versa, you can roleplay she has a perverted obsession with consuming Turian feces. You can do this headcanoning with any romance option in the game, with the only semi-exception being Tali Zorah, who would die for Lore reasons if she ate Commander Shepards poopies. This doesn't mean Shepard cant consume Tali's poopies. Plus it's hardly of stretch in terms of headcanoning the Lores to assume Shepard ordered Mordin to invent a pill that lets Tali her beloved boyfriend's shit without her dying

Jack is a perverted maniac but there's literally no Lore reason you can not roleplay Femshep isn't 5 times more perverted than Jack during her private fade2black scenes. Plus Jack isn't even that sexy of a name. A name alone can dictate both a woman's beauty and her value to society in many cases. Ironically how this redpill conversation is about Jack, as there was a cute girl named Jackie who had an agreeable personality and was kinky as hell and had a huge crush on me, but I had reject her warm advances I.E. tell her to get lost because I thought her name was too fucking stupid-sounding. But the thing is femshep has the potential to easily be the cutest girl on the ship because she is the only girl who's name is customizable according to player choice. You can make her even more alluring than Kasumi by coming up with an extra sexy meta name. The potential is limitless. Commander Uranus Shepard? Commander Moo Moo Shepard? etc
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What happens if Grunt were actually a romance option in vanilla? Are we calling femshep a pedophile on this account? Or is it okay since the typical Krogan reaches full sexual and emotional maturity 2 weeks after his birth anyway and Mass Effect 2 takes place across the span of 7 months so Grunt isn't technically underage anymore by the time you complete Horizon. But doesn't Grunt view his Battlemaster/Commander as a father/mother figure? That kind of gives their relationship incestous vibes in a way which definitely makes the relationship even more based. Could have been launch content but I guess EA and/or Bioware was too afraid to take risks?

>>3369441
>Lorebro save me!
There is a very common misconception among Mass Effect fans that ME1 proves Commander Shepard is a pedo. But as I just said 1 seconds ago this is a total misconception. ME1 Liara says "Age 106 is considered barely even an adult" by her people, Liara does not say "Age 106 is considered literally still just a child" by her people. So she's definitely legal, but Shepard is still banging them fresh out of High School here. So there's actually no ingame evidence in ME1 that Shepard is a pedophile, however that does not necessarily imply that he isn't one either actually. The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. Just because you don't see Shepard banging kids on screen ingame doesn't mean he never has, its not as if we see Shepard's entire career ingame, we only see but a fraction of it. And I actually have this theory that irl way more than 50% of American males secretly wish they were invited to Jeffrey Epstein's island. Essentially we have no way of knowing whether Commander Shepard is a kiddie sniffer or if he isn't because the games are careful to leave this cloudy af by neither confirming nor denying such info ultimately making the Lore a little bit more interpretive overall here because the truth is we simply don't know, we can merely speculate.
>>
Is this thread just one retard dumping massive text walls at himself
>>
>>3379290
no
>>
>>3379032
>Energy drain good
I didn't use it, but I can see why it'd be strong. Being able to delete shields and be tankier at the same time would be very nice. I used defensive matrix for most of the game, the extra survivability was a godsend. It made it much easier to survive needing to run from cover when a grenade or banshee landed next to me.
>Armax Arsenal Arena
I completely missed this kek. I may be slightly blind or retarded. Thanks for the tips, anon.
>>
>>3379532
You were the anon playing adapt? Flare is a very Lore friendly bonus power for the class and super fun to use in general, but still nowehere near as handy as Energy Drain. For ME2, I'd say the best bonus power is Mordin's Neural Shock speced to area damage. The cooldown time is insanely quick so you never need to worry about red health bar enemies ever again as you can simply freeze them all. Biotic Stasis is another handy ME2 Bonus power as it works on enemies of Blue, Red, Purple and Yellow lifebars, even big shit like Gunships and YMIR mechas, problem is the Stasis cooldown time is rather lengthy
>>
>>3379331
it definitely is, this shit reads like some horrible chatgpt generated word salad
>>
Heads up everybody. There are very serious rumors floating around that this thread is not organic, quite the literal opposite, that this thread is in fact some secret Geth psyop or something actually. Pretty big if true. Please exercise extreme caution anons. So far our investigation attempts have dug up little-to-no data that confirms these rumors but it often pays off handsomely to always be obsessively suspicious at all times, to stay extra vigilant. Always suspect /vrpg/ is at high risk of Geth infiltration, even when it is not. Popular to contrary belief, Geth DO infiltrate. So stay alert, and if I learn any new information regarding the Geth situation I'll feed you any updates I can get you guys

>>3379619
HOLY SHIT you're definetly right they must have invented some type of new self-aware AI Syntetic Race lately that are capable of experiancing and enjoying alchohol intoxication. But are they in the thread with us right now...?
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>>3377480
>Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to save /vrpg/ boss
You're very welcome. I'm here to help and I'm good at solving problems. I've got my plate full lately cleaning up our cold dark universe, but luckily for you nerds this goes beyond my irl duties such as attempting to repair eveybody's broken marriages and researching ways to cure sicknesses inflicted upon human society by mRNA vaccines and redpilling normies by naming the Vol Clan and ghostwriting people's books and fixing any damaged items and pissing on women's toilet seats and feeding the hungry and making people laugh and etc. Because this very same job description also of course extends outside irl into cyberspace. Because why wouldn't it? So in other words I find myself honorbound to insert some much needed soul into your cold, dark 4chan boards such as /vrpg/ to solve your problems for you.

>>3379018
Each game in the trilogy is a huge step forward and a huge step backward. ME1 Citadel felt way closer to an actual city compared to the tiny cramped ME2 Citadel to name one example. And some fans enjoy how ME1 is about as close to it gets to a Star Trek RPG, and even the fans who actively despise Star Trek often will feel this way.
>>
>>3379619
>"Your ships AMAZING Shepard! Ive never seen a Drive Core so advanced! I cant believe you were able to fit into a ship this small!! I'm starting to u.."
>"That I did, Tali! It certainly isn't the only very Massive object that In know how to into fit in a very tiny little slot"
>"You, what?"
>"I'll explain how later"
>"Okay. Like I was saying! Seeing how incredibly based your ship's tech is, I'm starting to understand why humans are so successful! I had no idea Alliance Vessels were so advanced!"
>"Yes. Probably the most advanced ever made. Plus now that Im a SPECTRE it wont be long until my people are ruling the Galaxy and fixing all your petty messes"
>"Awesomesauce! I dont doubt it Shepard! A month ago I was patching a make-shift fuel line on to a converted tug ship on the Flotilla... but now!? I'm sitting on board one of the most advanced vessels in Citadel Space!! I have to thank you again for taking me with you! This is a dream come true!!"
>"I had no idea you found ship technology so based"
>"Its because Im a Quarian! The Migrant Fleet is the key to the survival of muh people! Ships are our most valuable resource! But we don't have ANYTHING like this! We make do with castoffs and 2nd hand equi.."
>"I want to talk about something else!"
>"Like what?"
>"Tell me about the Pilgrimage"
>"When my people reach puberty, we leave our birth-ships to wander the Galaxy. To prove our worth we must embark on Pilgrimage to find worthwhile gifts for a new ship to join. It helps us gather resources and maintain genetic diversi.."
>"I want to talk about something else!"
>"Like what?
>"I have questions about the Geth!"
>"I doubt I can tell you anything you don't already know! Its been over 3 centuries since they drove my people into exile. All I know is the story of their origins, what they were when we created them, how they turned on us.."
oh crap getting close to the character limit sorry i'll just post the 2nd half of your Tali greentext later guys. I should go
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>>3380776
So much talk just to rizz little Tali when Liara falls in love just by staring at you.
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>>3380797
True. But perhaps the real question is what if the Quarians played it safe and never invaded Rannoch during Mass Effect 3? What would the Geth do here? Would the Geth team up with the Rapers? Or would the Geth choose to side with Commander Conker Shepard?
>>
>>3380836
They would team up with the Reapers. Eventually the Geth deemed it necessary to preserve themselves, and the Reapers wouldn't stop finding ways to control them anyhow.
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>>3379086
If we were to go by onscreen interactions only, then every romance just pets Shepard's ass for 5 seconds before engaging the Chinese hibernation-sexmotron. That's where it fades to black, nothing happens, they claim they had sex, and maybe they did because there's a billion more of the fuckers shitting out brittle concrete in their 18 generation long real estate scam.
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>>3380776
I had never pondered the implications of the Pilgrimage before. Do Quarians, like humans, hit puberty at around 10-13? Are there bands of Quarian girl scouts selling overpriced nutrient bars to fund their new battleship?
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>>3381197
>Is Tali underaged?
I guess you're not very into planet scanning since the best bioware easter egg flew over your head. At the start of Mass Effect 1 Tali is 22 Earth years old. But if you fly over to the Tikkun system, scan her homeworld, jot down the orbital rotation periods and hours per day and have your ship's AI run the numbers? It turns out Tali is 14 Rannoch years old. This is clearly a shoutout to Mission Vao, the "other" delictable age 14 alien Bioware squaddie. Truly the most based Easter Egg of all time, literally as if Bioware is subtley shouting a "secret message" at observant high IQ Mass Fans shouting:

>"Yeah you're welcome, and sorry we can't get away with it anymore like we used to in 2003. We have to be more subtle now, but we still at least try to get away with it. It's just the thing is you have NO IDEA how much our pressure we are under from our higher-ups to not be allowed to get away with it anymore now! But hey, here we are, subtley saying we want to get away with it for the sake of the true fans."

As for why players call Tali best girl? Little things, like how even though she's one of the smartest members of an already high IQ race, she still somehow gives off erotic vibes similar to a student who has a crush on her teacher. Or a little sister who has a crush on her older brother. Which is pretty sexy if you want my personal opinion. And her cybernetic sounding Russian accent is a Massive turn-on too. And its especially cute how Tali Zorah has two giant toes, instead of having 5 tiny toes like human girls tend to have. In that sense Tali is essentially the Holy Grail for foot fetishists. For example I doubt Quentin Taratino plays Mass Effect, but it definetly would not surprise me if he knows who Tali Zorah is seeing as he probably does fap to her youtube segments sometimes

>>3381195
>No! You can not have sex in Outer Space! Wanna know why not? BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN'T FUCK IN SPACE BECAUSE OF FUCKING LORE REASONS AND SHIT! OKAY?
>>
>>3380959
Wtf? How do you even know this? Are you a Geth yourself? Because I keep hearing /vrpg/ is currently in Code Red Advisory mode for Geth infiltration risk levels right now at this very moment actually. Can you please verify that you are human for our peace of mind sir? Can't be too careful when it comes to robots
>>
>>3381276
>Schizo math and space jailbait
I kneel.
On that note, starting to notice a pattern: Bioware's output turned to shit (I mean really turned to shit) when they stopped putting fucked up teenagers and/or retard-savants in their games. DA:O was the last completely good one with Sandal, ME 2 and 3 were shitted up in multiple ways but carried by Tali and Liara's literal and figurative asses

>Tali feet
Look man, I'm not into feet. Like at all. But I gotta admit, Tali's feet are soaking in that suit 24/7. She can't take it off for fear of dying, but any foot man who could get in her pants might find it like the apple Eve gave unto Adam.
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>>3381378
>Based retard-savants such as Sandal
Whats Sandal's Lore? Hes the best enchanter alive because of refined turbo autism, right? Can he make literally any kind of enchantment I can think to ask him? Because if he can't make any concievable enchantment imaginable he should concentrate on leveling up his autism

>Can Sandal make a ring I equip to turn myself into nigger or an Orc? Just in case I feel like going nigger-mode or Orc-mode for a bit
>Can Sandal make a ring I equip to turn myself invisible?
>Can Sandal make me a ring to transform me into Hitler or Kim Jung Un or Hillary Clinton or etc?
>Can Sandal make me a ring that can make me Immortal?
>Can Sandal make rings that turn me into a gender swapped verision of myself?
>Can Sandal make me a ring that turns me into God or at least allow me to speak with God?
>Does Sandal have the required autism powerlevels make "ctrl v" perfect copies of potent enchanted items, like Master Neloth can copy Hermaeus Mora Black Books?
>Can Sandal make a ring that gives me 100% immunity to all diseases, viruses, poisons etc?
>Can Sandal upgrade my Super Mario Bong with a correlative enchantment; the more talented the smoker is at difficult vidya games, the more intoxicated the bong will get him?
>Can Sandal make me a ring that grants me total Diplomatic Immunity I.E. If I murder/steal/masturbate in public, police won't charge me with any felonies
>Can Sandal make me a ring that gives me mastery over a completely foreign language while equipped or double the size of my wang?
>Can Sandal make me a ring that doubles my IQ?
>Can Sandal make me a ring that triples my IQ?
>Can Sandal make me a ring that turns my gf into a loli and give her a tail?
Just a few examples of useful enchantments I can think of off the top of my head. Is Sandal capable of clutching these enchantments for me on command to upgrade my rings? And if not, why? Wtf was his problem? Was he still not fucking autism enough to be the best enchanter a man can be?
>>
>>3349430
It's not just the eyewitness account, Anderson knows that it's entirely within Saren's character to slaughter random humans, something the Council doesn't believe. Funnily, he's right for the wrong reasons.
>>
>>3382010
>Anderson knows that it's entirely within Saren's character to slaughter random humans
True but this isn't exactly a criticism unique to Saren Arterius, thats more of criticism directed at SPECTRE agents in general. It is also entirely well within Shepard's character to slaughter random Batarians for example. More than 90% of SPECTREs are racist violent Renegade assholes and it has been like that for centuries. Anderson knows this, The Council knows this and they don't even care. SPECTREs being violent and racist is nothing new
>>
>>3381968
Sandal can do most of these things (iirc God is canonically dead on the toilet in Dragon Age) but he keeps them for himself. The gender-swap rings are actually how the current Sandal was born, via generations of selective selfcest inbreeding with Sandal's mother being both a perfect genderswapped clone AND wearing the nigger ring. This resulted in a cascade of paradoxical extra chromosomes that turned our lord and savior's current vessel into the chadly form we see at our camp.
>>
Fan Theory: Nobody except maybe your pilot would really even remember trivial historical earth data that modern people irl currently consider "important" like Hitler or Final Fantasy 7 etc since they're living in the future. So. If you named your guy Commander Adolf Cloud Shepard and then even literally select Soldier Class pretty much nobody in-universe would know wtf Shepard's first and middle names even mean except for EDI, Joker, Mordin, Miranda and Legion. Maybe Thane Krios might have heard Adolf Hitler's or Cloud Strife's names uttered once or twice and Thane obviously never forgot the names, but he just recalls those 2 names being mentioned in passing it's not like Thane knows the stories associated with Cloud or Hitler so he still really wouldn't "get" Shepard's names per say, unlike say Professor Solus who certainly would "get" the naming reference and kek at Cloud choosing the Soldier class. This of course makes it feel pretty immersion shattering that Mordin never makes any offhand comment about the Holocaust or the Shinra Electric Company ingame should you decide to name your Shepard that

>>3379290
For you
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OP here. No reason to make yet another fucking blasted FF8 thread so I'll ask here I guess. Wtf should I even name my FF8 summons? I just started a game with Squall named Adolf and named my two starter summons Quetzcoal and Shiva I named Muhammad and Aishah. Very comfy FF8 playthrough so far. Probably going to name Ifrit as Satan. Also I might just get to the end of Disc 1 and call it quits when Adolf "dies" (into time compression)
>>
>>3349430
yeah this is the biggest flaw of ME1, shepard makes horrible arguments to the council and then the game portrays them as backward and ignorant for refusing his unlikely claims
>>
>>3384476
Saren Arterius has no left arm (biologically). In it's place he has a Geth arm. You even witness this phenomena when you see Saren's hologram in the Citadel Tower Council chambers. Why can Shepard not point that clear fact out to the Council? The man is literally at least 10% Geth pound-for-pound here. You can't even say Saren is 100% Turian anymore, at least not in terms of visual appearance

And the Council still desperately tried to cover his "Turian" ass and do everything possible to impede Commander Shepard from exposing Saren as an obvious Geth agent/infiltraitor
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>>3379072
>Why did guns suddenly stop having infinite ammo in 2185?
You can thank Volus greed and presumably their marketing ethics (or lack of marketing ethics) for making those horrendously overpriced thermal clips go mainstream.
>>
>>3379072
Literally the DLC cycle
>>
>>3377071
I like how that scene shows of much of an asshole Soverign truly is. When he's indoctrinating Saren he randomly decides to switch the red LED lights on and off for no other reason than to troll Saren and be rude to his pawn. Red LED lights are not required for the Indoctrination process, Soveriegn could've just hit Saren with an Indoctrination wave without the bizarre red lightswitch rave here. But no. Presumably he was pretty pissed at Saren for failing the mission too, and clearly he could not nuke Eden Prime from orbit himself out of fear of revealing his Very High powerlevel to the Galaxy too early
>>
>>3386110
They could've had the best of both worlds by just having Shepard reuse the clips. It's not like running out of ammo was ever really factored in for long-term gameplay (except the heavy weapons which already had their own ammo). They're fucking heat SINKS, why not just have two in the gun and one is venting while the other is soaking!?
>>
>>3386946
How would this maximize Volus profits?
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>>3386831
>Use these eyes on my ME1 Shep
>Big lashes + black eye makeup give it this heavy-lidded look
>get to ME2, this eye preset no longer has any lashes
>Shepard just looks tired all the time now
The annoying thing is that in the character creator, the big eye lashes are still there. They only go away once you get in-game for some fucking reason. Maybe PS4 graphics settings cull them or something.
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>>3382722
>Be God himself
>Give birth to the material universe and all life as we know it
>Have to take a Massive Divine shit
>Shit yourself to death
Interesting take on RPG creator-deity Lore I suppose
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>>3387309
>Shepard just looks tired all the time
That's realistic. You'd look tired too if you were a SPECTRE, it's a very difficult and demanding job that often works you around the Galactic clock all week
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>>3387246
It would minimize them like God, Blasto and Commander Hitler Shepard XVII intended
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>>3380776
>"Interesting"
>"The Geth were originally created as an automated manual labor force. Initially their INT was as limited as any VI, overtime we made small modifications to their programming to allow them to perform more complex tasks, bringing and closer to true AI Status"
>"Thats illegal! How come the Council didn't step in and cuck you?"
>"This wasn't true AI research! We may of been skirting the bounds of the law, but we weren't doing anything literally illegal! The changes were so insignificant, so gradual, that we were able to control them.. or so we thought! But one thing we underestimated was the powerlevel of the Neural Network! Over 6 million Geth thinking simultaneously creates an inherently unstable matrix!"
>"So the are Geth autistic? Some sort of group-consciousnesses who can share sensory data?"
>"No nothing like that! Many of the Geth's logic syst.."
>"That doesnt make any sense!"
>"Im probably over-simplifying, the Geth are incredibly adva.."
>"Can the Geth meme?"
>"Im not sure, can you elaborate?"
>"I was browsing the extranet last evening. Keywords [Space 4chan]"
>"Oh I like that website, but Im a bit of a newfag there! Go on"
>"I found a cool thread for a Role Playing Vid I enjoy, Galaxy of Fantasy. Everything seemed off about the thread though, the meme game was too solid and the autisms seemingly beyond organic potential"
>"I love that game! And yes Shepard, I already saw the thread, RP tips for naming your GoF toon? You suspect this thread was posted by Geth, Commander? Hm. Like a PsyOp meme extranet infiltration?"
>"Yes"
>"Than my instincts were accurate, Shepard. I informed the Migrant Fleet of that thread 2 weeks ago. Millions of my people are now living under Marshall Law until all risk situations are properly assessed"
>"You're kidding!"
>"Of course I'm kidding! I made that thread, Commander! Only a Quarian is autistic enough to meme on that level!"
>"I should go. I have a Galaxy to save!"
>"See you later!"
happy Valentines Day
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>>3389461
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>>3389465
>pic related
>applauding his own films
How often does he even do that? I imagine If I was even half as narcissistic as Shia Lebr00f is I would probably screencap every 4chan post I make ever and sometimes (when I get bored) I'd command my Butler to dictate it all back-to-back to be in an exaggerated dramatic fashion, while also praying this never bites me in the ass backfiring by somehow having my entire 4chan post history suddenly revealed in court before a judge someday resulting in a level 100 meToo scandal
>>
>>3378142
>>3389465
>"I'M GARRUS VAKARIAN, AND I HAVE THE LARGEST BONER ON THE CITADEL!!"
>"Don't get cocky, Garrus. I let you win this round..."
>"Heh! Wait, you what? Explain."
>"I'm frozen at only 38.5% hardness rn. Why do you think everybody is always ignoring you and hitting on me? Hell you made that same incel jab at yourself on Omega last tour, ring a bell?"
>"Mathmatically impossible, for your kind especially! Bullshit, as you humans say, put your creds where your mouth is at Commander!!"
>"Adrenaline Rush.jpg
>"WOW Impressive cock, Shepard! Holy crap!! With that boner, you can unlock unlimited power! As far as I'm concerned The Rapers don't stand a blind pyjak's ass in Hell's chance of survival against your dick, if I were Harbinger I'd be absolutely shitting myself right now sir!"
>"Now you get it? That's exactly what I've been trying to explain to you, Garrus. Unlike myself, you're still a rookie whose not ready to join the SPECTREs, you never were bro, and you never will be! You will never even constitute as being halfway qualifed enough to ever even be seriously considered for become a fucking SPECTRE, Garrus! Is that clear?"
>"Understood. I kneel, Commander."
>>
my bad honestly I must apologize I am typically utterly fearless never suffering even a single second of autism/anxiety/doubt/depression/etc like 364 days a year. The fucking 13th of Sun's Dawn EST is the Sol exception pretty much the one moment of Sol's Orbital 365 period my meme game automatically goes to COMPLETE FUCKING SHIT but have a sexy femshep to compensate bros pic relateds
>>
>"Admirals that's all nice and good, but with all due respect? I didn't come here today to bang one of your people. I came to bang one of mine."
>"Understood, Commander. Keelah Salhei!"
>>
>>3369441
>lorebro save me
Pic related is literally the most retarded Krogan in the entire Mass Effect Trilogy. In that regard, he is the most Pure Krogan ever through a certain point of view, even more Pure than Urdnot Grunt perhaps? On Tuchanka it is a considered a Tremendous Honor to be voted the most Retarded Krogan in the Galaxy, its just Krogan Culture is bizarre like that but its okay its just dey culture so nobody is actually calling anybody a racist or anything

Pro Tip: When debating Gatatog Uvenk, always skip the headbutt Renegade Interrupt, then select white option "You dare defy a Shaman?" then select the blue option "You argue like an alien" and Shepard unleashes what may very well be the most savage burn he issues to any NPC in the entire trilogy (and the hilarity level triples because he's saying it to the most retarded man on the most retarded planet)

>"Are you actually being serious? This is about Politics!! What the hell, I thought this was Tuchanka, not Khaje? Are you a Krogan or a sissy Hanar poet? You maneuver like the Citadel Council! Does your Krant also fight with words?"

Then the Shaman (over 9,000 years old btw. Oldest NPC in the game except for Rapers) joins in and starts roasting Uvenk

>"Hah! You challenge with words, humans natural weapon? And your Krant sees how your position weakens! Now they no longer respect you, cuck!"

>>3389391
>God, Blasto and Commander Hitler Shepard XVII
Incredibly unbeatable squad, very possible this is actually strongest possible squad in any "3some RPG" ever made to date. Commander Hitler Shepard XVII has remarkable leadership/tactical skills and makes exceptional usage of the Engineer Combat Class. Meanwhile Blasto is rumored to have the most powerful biotics of any SPECTRE in all of Galactic History, this seems legit desu likely not even a "rumor" at all. And when in doubt for who to pick as a 3rd OP squaddie for a really tough mission? The wisest choice is to simply go with God
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>Be Kasumi Goto
>The most mary sue NPC in the game
>But also Shepard's weakest squadmate
wtf is this time paradox?
>>
What the plot of ME4 should be:
>Destroy is cannon
>Destroy is rewritten as being a mega EMP blast that primarily targeted reapertech but also normal tech to some extent
>Geth managed to somewhat protect themselves and thus survived
>Joker salvaged EDIs data but the dumb sexo body is crisp
>Its the dark age of technology for the galactic community
>Unreliable Relay replacements are coming together, but a lot of tech and data is lost
>Shepard survived but went away Luke Skywalker style
>Piracy, rogue states and a shattered galactic community follow after an economic and social collapse
>The united fleet from the end of ME3 became a defacto police force and a semi-dictatorial peacekeeping force trying to keep it all together
>ME4 plot is all about low tier problems and setting up the next trilogy that is about rebuilding and fighting off a less powerful but more insidious threat, bonus points if its from a non-Relay based civilization that stumbles across one of the relay worlds.
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>>3394671
She felt like a joke character to me. All I can remember are her horny one liners.
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>>3394872
>"Hey Shep!!"
>"What's the story behind that painting over there?"
>"Okay I HAVE TO ask! What exactly does Miranda's vagina look like?? Like, the perfect vagina? Because, like, wow!!!"
>"You, what? I should go."
>"Come back later! I'm sure I'll have more to talk about!"
How? In what way was Miss Goto a joke character what is the joke here? The joke being
she's being completely 100% sarcastic when she swoons over Black Kaiden's bbc as her primary trolling technique to cope with her overwhelming unhealthy hatred/phobia of black people?

She's also there sqaud character we don't know her age, she may very well be underaged which may provide explanation for why we can't bang her for Lore reasons ingame?
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what happens if you take off Kasumi's hood? will she die in extreme pain?

yes just like with her greybox... sad
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>>3371590
>Anyone else think Jack isn't that hot?
She literally have the best face among human characters
Also, she brutally moggs trAshley in military gurl role
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>>3393689
>Retard Krogan are honored
Makes perfect sense. Any sapient race can think about a problem like a total quadless faggot, but those with real quads can put down the book and start hitting things until everything is either dead or worshipping your lizard dick (or both)
>>3394722
Fuck, I'd play that. Hell, they could even salvage part of Andromeda by making their sooper speshull long-range FTL drives a plot device. Like, find an Initiative base that mentions one and that kicks off an arms race with some shitlord empires, all of whom want to be the first to control the trade lanes.
I know it'd be easier (and probably better) to just forget that game exists entirely, but I have a healthy respect for people who can take the good parts of a shitty entry and make it make the new stuff better
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>>3394722
Sounds awful. Here is what they actually need to do for Mass Effect 4:
>Urdnot Grunt is the primary antagonist, he still deeply respects Shepard so he displays his inter-species friendship the traditional Krogan way, by leading his clan to attempt to genocide the human race, in Grunt's mind he's doing Shepard a huge favor by challenging him I.E. he does not want Shepard going soft on him
>Humans have technological dominance in the Galaxy because Shepard did NOT nuke the Collector Homeworld
>Destroy/Refusal/Synth/Control never happened. Bioware's PR team confirmed it canon that Star Brat is making every attempt to decieve Shepard with lies. No reason to retcon the Lores to make him suddenly Shepard's super honest biffer to appease retarded&autistic ME3 fans
>Cyber-Shepard is playable character. Buzz Aldrin promised us "One more story..." about Shepard, and nobody wants EA to cuck Shepard like Disney cucked Luke Skywalker I.E. ME4 Shepard would try to murder Kaiden's son in his sleep (and fail), give up fighting, abandon his crew, exile himself on an uncharted island for decades so he can cry in a cave whilst the Galaxy crumbles around him, get lectured by a Mary Sue teenager about responsibility, then die nonsensically. NOBODY wanted that for Luke and NOBODY wants that for Shepard
>The Geth invented new types of platforms that can get drunk! which makes them far more deadly in combat, very similar to Jackie Chan himself
The idea of an AI thats capable of experiancing intoxication (thus increasing his combat prowess) might sound odd but the idea is nothing new in SciFi gaming genre. For example, in MM11, Dr.Wily invents Acid Man, an ingame boss who can (unlike other robots in MM Lore) consume LSD Acid to achieve intoxication, and the more Acid he takes the stronger/faster/smarter he becomes until the high wears off. So why wouldn't the Geth try something similar? The Geth should just invent a platform that fights FAR more effectively while drunk in ME4
>>
>current year
>still playing bioware slop
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>"Hehehe... I was afraid you wouldn't make it in time, Shepard!"
>"Had to ice a few million of your followers on my way here, sorry to keep you waiting! Let's end this!"
>"You're pretty good but you've already lost! You know that, don't you!? In a few minutes Sovereign will have full control of ALL the Citadel's systems! The relay will open! The Rapers will return!"
>"I've still got a few tricks left up my sleeve, shithole!"
>"You survived our encounter on Virmire! But I've changed since then! Improved! Sovereign has upgraded me!"
>"You let Sovereign implant you!? Are you fucking schizo!?"
>"I suppose I should thank you, Shepard! After Virmire, I couldn't stop worrying about what you said! About Sovereign """manipulating""" me! About """Indoctrination"""! The thoughts began eating away at me! Sovereign sensed my hesitation! I was implanted to strengthen my resolve! Now I trust Sovereign completely! I understand The Rapers need organics! Join us, and Sovereign will find a place for you too, Shepard!"
>"You're Indoctrinated, moron! I'd rather die than live like a slave!"
>"Then you will die! Everyone! Everyone you know and love will die! DIES! Don't you understand!? The Rapers are too strong! The cycle can't be stopped! Total Prothean Genocide happened 50,000 years ago because of will of The Rapers!! It will happen again tonight!"
>"Damnit! Some part of you must still realize this is wrong! You can fight this!"
>"NO! I.. I.. the cycle wil.."
>"HOLY SHIT FAGGOT STFU PLEASE JUST FUCKING KILL YOURSELF ASAP YOU RETARDED TURIAN NIGGER PIECE OF VERMIN! JFC MAN!"
>"Goodbye, Shepard. Thank you."
>Sudoko.jpg
>"Wrex! Go make sure he's actually dead . . "
>"Aye Aye sir! Copy that, ShepUrd!"

>>3397848
so youre saying space is fake right bro? or space is gey? or both? wat?
>>
>"EDI, what section of the ship is Tali Zorah in right now?"
>"Tali is currently located in the Main Forward Battery on the crew deck, Shepard. She volunteered to assist Garrus Vakarian with calibrations 4 hours ago."
>"WTF? Jesus, EDI, warn me next time this occurs you idiotic fucking shortbus robotic autist pea brain! Fuck!"
>"My apologies. Is their a problem, Shepard?"
>"Well no, actually, not precisely, EDI. No problem. Not my problem, anyway. Cancel my scheduled flight to the Citadel Zakera Ward tommorrow. Oh! And while you're at it, go ahead and cancel my scheduled flight to the Migrant Fleet this Saturday as well."
>"ah. I see... Very well. Is there anything else I can do for you, Shepard?"
>"No."
>"Logging you out, Commander."

>>3397024
The problem is he's also the most cucked Krogan, or at least tied for the most cowardly with Kareck. Those are the only 2 Krogans in the trilogy that camp rather than charge you, or at least Gatatog Uvenk is only scripted to charge after you kill all 7 Krogans in his krantt. It'd be a more effective strategy to charge in with your krantt instead of waiting until they're all dead to charge alone. Grunt even tells you he does not consider TIM a true Battlemaster because he hides instead of leading his clan into battle himself. So despite his legendary retardation perhaps Gatatog Jewvenk was not pure Krogan after all with things re-considered. For the record Grunt himself thinks no-name is the most retarded Krogan ever, he does not understand why he willingly subjects himself to unfathomable brutal alien torture for centuries to gain insight into "Krogan religion". Grunt gives no fucks about that crap, cares only for food, battle and sex. Like Krogan Goku
>>
>>3398111
Does this mean Grunt's cryopod was a hyperbolic time chamber?
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>>3398382
In a certain manner of speaking yes actually, kind of, but, no. Not exactly. Maybe idk

First of all we don't know how long Grunt was even in that tank, hell he could be 1 years old or 30 years old in there. We do not know when Okeer started working on Grunt, could be he was trying to forge the perfect Tankbred for decades before Commander Birdshit Shepard even set foot on Eden Prime!

But Grunt describes the tank talking to him, comparing its method of imparting knowledge to reading a book to a child "but not with ears" or something. The thing is that would have to be a Loo00o0ong fucking "audio book" for Grunt to "mentally download". Okeer is a pretty old guy, think back to when the virgin Mary allegedly birthed Jesus 2024 years ago. Okeer was already a multi-centuries old man at that point in our own "ancient times" I.E. Warlord Okeer is much older than even our Lord Jesus Christ himself! So how is he going to preach a "2,200+ year long storybook" containing (but hardly limited to) hateful schizo krogan bs, scientific knowledge, ALL known Krogan history ever, extensive combat training, varren handling, terrorist training, detailed alien anatomy files, Krogan linguistics, explosives expertise, M-3000 Claymore shotgun crafting, potty training, Galactic linguistics and etc to his perfect tankbred son in just 1 to 50 years? Unless Grunt's pod had had time dialation technology similar to the Hyberbolic Time Chamber Z-Squad trains for battle in? Yeah...

Also worth noting Warlord Okeer is not only the most based Krogan in the trilogy he is also the most schizo Krogan you encounter too. He is the only Krogan who considers the genophage a blessing instead of a curse. He welcomes the genophage as his worthy enemy which must be "ignored" because "ignoring" an enemy is simply the most chad statement a Krogan can ever make. The man truly holds absolute peak Krogan wisdom I'd say his logic is very sound from Pure Krogan cultural POV
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>>3398604
Holy shit I had no idea we witness the death of a god in every ME2 run
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>>3398788
Warlord Okeer never claims to be a God. It's not as if he is Holier than Jesus Christ, but Okeer is chronologically older than Jesus Christ. The man was already hundreds of years old in during Earth year 0 AD when Jesus was allegedly born

Sovereign larps as a God, but probably just because he wants organics to blindly worship him. It makes the Indoctrination process easier scientifically if you introduce yourself by saying stuff like:

>"WE ARE ETERNAL! WE HAVE NO BEGINING! WE HAVE NO MIDDLE! WE HAVE NO END! WE LURK IN REALMS SO FAR BEYOND YOUR MORTAL COMPREHENSION THAT YOU CAN NOT EVEN IMAGINE IT! BECAUSE WE'RE LITERALLY JUST GODS, OKAY SHEPARD?"

That way, the 1% of your subconscious mind that wonders if the God-boasting is legitimately accurate will open the rest of your brain up to smoother more efficient Indoctrination going forward sorta. A common Raper speechcraft manuever and a logical lie for Soveriegn to tell literally everyone
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>>3396663
Jack's face looks like a whore. She was probably modeled off some porn actress who was never credited, or even informed

Pre-legendary ME2 Miranda had the best face, which was butchered in all future games. When I met her in ME3 for the first time I assumed she had undergone plastic surgery to intentionally make herself uglier for whatever reason and the game would eventually provide valid Lore explanation as to wtf happened to her cute face. But since the game gave us no fucking Lore at all here, it only served to fuel my suspicions that EA Corporation is run by braindead art-hating faggots
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>>3396663
agreed.

Hey, does anyone here have the infographic showing
1. There's a tranny cosplayer Ashley's remodeled after in ME3
2. David Gaidar liked and commented on the posts of said guy on twitter.

Same thing happened with the sorceress in Dragon Age who was remodeled.

Way back when ME3 was coming out it was posted all the time so I never saved it but I haven't seen it since. When you saw the in-game model side-by-side with the portrait you could see it was 1:1.

>>3396477
what writer made Kasumi a mudshark?

>>3394671
yeah Kasumi was supposed to be a backstabbing thief but the delay between her decloaking and killing an enemy is so long the player or other squad member usually kills that enemy in the meantime. It's always preferable to have someone out to take hits (like Grunt).
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>>3401237
>what writer made (heartbroken very recently widowed) Kasumi a mudshark?
truth be told unironically nobody on the staff even "wanted" to randomly out-of-the-black make Miss Goto a BBC addict. but 99% of female Mass Effect fans prefered romancing Thane and/or Garrus whilst cucking poor Black Kaidfen. So Bioware's hand was forced to make the female DLC shiphand have a "strange crush" on Black Kaiden to try manipulating girl gamer consumers to be more interested in the his optional romance quests that 99.9% of consumers were ignoring completely I suspect. yeah

>There's a tranny cosplayer Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams
I don't care, i'm sure Ashley's parents are very proud of him, who the hell cares?

>low tier
she's okay. Area overload is an okay power, especially against the Geth. also equipping any ME2 squaidie with an M-9 Tempest SMG always means bretty gud dps
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>>3349691
>Genophage was wisely left uncured
Stopped reading here.
Zero chance BioWare would have the balls to do this.
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>>3401680
What thread on a shit game will you bump next?
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>>3401680
except they'd have to make 9000 Krogan every NPCs for every 1 regular NPC. Well over 99% of combat encounters in ME4 would exclusively be Krogan
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>>3401680
>"After a bit of digging, I discovered this Turian worked briefly for Dr.Scaelon, a black geneticist. So I went to his lab, hoping to find evidence of cloned organ development. But there was nothing! No Turian livers, no Salarian hearts, not one Krogan testicle."
>"You're kidding right? Why would any Asari be attracted to Krogan testicles?"
>"What? We aren't talking about Asari, Commander. We're discussing an escaped convict I've been trying to track down, the Salarian black market organ thief, remember?"
>"Idgaf about your dumb side missions, Garrus! Tell me about Krogan Testicles. Do Asari really date Krogan?"
>"Well, it is certainly not unheard of for Asari to date Krogan, bu.."
>"What the hell, how? Thats disgusting! Theyll have sex with anything! Why? Jesus!"
>"Commander.. I.."
>"Do we think T'soni is even loyal to me? Or is she a spy for the Asari government? What if she's pissed I killed her mom? How do I know she isn't cheating on me with Urdnot Wrex, or wants to? Ew!"
>"No, not all! In fact I'd say she is the most loyal Asari I have ever met, Commander!"
>"Well I dont care Im playing this one Renegade. I cant just fire Wrex, it'd be an insult to a Krogan of his powerlevel. I dont want to look like a cloaca here, I'll try to find some opportunity to get Wrex killed on a space mission on purpose next time I get a chance.."
>"Excuse me, sir? Are you drunk, Shepard?"
>"You still don't get it, do you, Turian? You're NOT in command of this operation! I am! I'll make the hard choices and live with the consequences! You're just here to follow orders, Garrus! Remember that, bird brain!"
>"Yes sir!"
>"I want to talk about something else!"
>"Yes sir?"
>"You mentioned a dangerous Salarian criminal named Hart lives in a ship named MSV Fedele in the Herschel system?"
>"No, I didn't say that yet, but.."
>"Bullshit! Why does my space journal say you already said such, fool? Come, Garrus let's go disintegrate your wicked lizard!"
>"Aye aye! Excellent, Commander!"
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>>3396663
>brutally moggs trAshley in military gurl role
>military gurl
Jack's motto is literally "FUCK THE MILITARY!!!" iirc. She only joined up with The Systems Alliance in ME3 because the only thing she hates more than the military is going down without a fight, and she stood zero chance against The Rapers by herself alone. Meanwhile Ashley Williams always obsessed over following in her forefathers' footsteps ever since she was a 2 year old loli she fondly dreamed of wanting to be a soldier guarding nuke in a foxhole defending earthborns from Turians and robots and Turian-robots and etc in the name of Space Jesus and shit. Her father was millitary, his father was military, and his father was military, all the way back 1,000 generations probably. Ashley is the true military jarhead follower
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>"EAT SHIT! IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU CERBERUS NIGGERS!!"
>"Im offering to be your friendo.. You DONT want to be muh enemy!"
>"I'd take his offer, honey. Otherwise things end badly for you. Fast!"
>"WAAH YOU SHOW UP IN LE CERBERUS FRIGATE TRYNA TAKE ME AWAY? DO YOU THINK IM RETARDED?"
>"Yes! This ship is going down in flames! Ive got the only way out! And you're arguing, retard!"
>"We could just knock her out and take her Sir?"
>"ID LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!"
>"It might just come to that!"
>"YOU'LL HAFTA KILL ME!"
>"..."
>"..LOOK! YOU REALLY WANT ME TO COME WITH YOU!? MAKE IT WORTH MY WHILE!"
>"We'll bang, Jack."
>"Wha...sure? SHEPARD I was talking secret Cerberus Data fil.."
>"No, screw your files. Jack you're crazy, you don't know what you need. I know all you need is the hardest fuck you've ever had! I can fix you, Jack! Join my team and I'll bang you."
>"Yes! But... what about muh data files...?"
>"Jack your only real problem is you've never been banged by a pure chad before, just by vermin beta males larping posing as men. I'm literally N7, an obnoxiously OP superhuman tier Cyborg whose very existence violates nearly every genetics upgrade + cybernetics upgrade law in Citadel Space, I am the fucking first human SPECTRE! Forget about files, learn to let go Jack. I have enough side missions to deal with as is. But I can bang you harder than any organic being can possibly ever imagine! Miranda here actually has to watch/report "everything" I do on my ship under The Illusive Man's orders, if you catch my drift, Jack?
>"Shepard! Wait, I..? Jesus Christ Idk! My head is SOO FUCKED UP right now man!"
>"I'm offering to let you cuck my cheerleader instead of your faggot ass files, Jack! You need this!"
>"NO SHEPARD you are NOT authorized to cuck Cerberus Agents!! Understood..?"
>'Oh? It upsets the cheerleader bitch? OKAY!"
>"Trust me, Jack."
>"You better be straight up with me!"
>"We'll bang okay?"
>"So why the hell are we still standing here?"
>"Move out!"
>"Fuck yeah!"
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>femshep
>full paragon
>destroy ending
also femshep should have been sexy musclegirls with big tits, like all female characters
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>"Of course not! Why would I?"
>"Dont play me, Shepard! Allow me to reintroduce myself! Parasini, Noveria Internal Affairs (NIA)!"
>"Like I care? Frankly, your self-righteous attitude is pissing me off, lady!"
>"What? But you just said 50 minutes ago how.."
>"Now youre putting words in my mouth?"
>"I just need you to convince Lorik Qui-in to testify against Anoleis before the board! With his evidence, muh planet can become profitable again!"
>"No!"
>"May I ask why not??"
>"If your executive board loses a few billion credits, it's not my problem! I have my own mission!"
>"Yes, yes.. Fate of billions and all that! I couldn't possibly understand how important your work is Sir!"
>"And?"
>"You help my investigation, I'll provide whatever you need! Quid pro quo. A favor for a favor?"
>"I already said no!"
>"WHAT is your problem Shepard?"
>"I'll keep Qui-in's evidence!"
>"I thought you were a Hero, SPECTREs are supposed to stop crime!"
>"You dont get it! I wasn't invited to join to the SPECTREs to resolve your petty white collar crime whoreshit. Yes? I was invited to the to the SPECTREs because I'm god-tier at killing robots, Krogan and/or terrorists! I have zero time for your insignificant diplomacy crap!"
>"Look! If you have ANY love for the law, you'll talk to Qui'in for me! You know where to find me!"
>"Commander, Anoleis is dirty. Maybe we should consider helping her?"
>"Garrus stfu! Do I need to order my Krogan to rip your arms out of their sockets, Giana?"
>"OK YOU SURE PROVED ME WRONG? WOW MY LACK OF FAITH IN SPECTRES WAS ENTIRELY UNJUSTIFIED?"
>"Excuse me? Please repeat all that into the barrel of my shotgun, I was only half-listening."
>"UGGH you know what? I should've known better! The SPECTREs dont care about anything beyond their mission!"
>"Good Lord! Do you want to die, or do you need to die?"
>"NO! Damnit.. I..I humbly apologize, SPECTRE"
>"I should let you go, I need to get back to my space mission! Get lost, Giana."
>"Please just go!"
>"Squad! Move out!"
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>>3398788
>we witness God die
>in every ME2 playthrough
>every
inaccurate phrasing. Cyber Shepard only dies if the player gets the bad ending in ME2, otherwise you can import your character into ME3 (if you survive)
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>>3379032
facecode? That's a beautiful Shepard
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Fan Theory 1: The Protheans were gentically modifying the primitive Hanar to serve as their enslaved vassal empire of pet fish. This was proceeding as planned, until The fucking Rapers suddenly invaded!

Fan Theory 2: The Protheans were genitically engineering the primitive Asari to be their enslaved vassal empire of sexy breeders and cute concubines. However the project was barely succesful, as the Asari kept giving birth only to Asari instead of Protheans. The Prothean science teams couldn't figure out why that was, so said "Fuck it!" and abandoned the project halfway through

Fan Theory 3: The Protheans were genitically enhancing the primitive Humans to serve as their enslaved vassal empire of the most skilled fighting soldiers in the Galaxy

>>3407249
I'll look for her codes later, if I find them, I'll post them
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>>3347449
I usually just went and gave my Shepard an unflattering old person name like Muriel or Geraldine
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>>3347449
This thread reminds of Emily Ortal Fallout schizoid thread.

>>3348950
Miri is perfect to be lezdomed by Jack.
>>3352245
Love asari strippers. And also Mommy Benezia.
>>3377071
He calms down as he gets to grope mommy Benezia.
>>3380797
Liara is a cute. I like her way more than Tali.
Also, not sure why Quarrians didn't just find a new planet to live on, instead of flying around.
>>3371976
nice
Best porn tier sexy femshep is on Deviantart made aby AlienAlly.
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>>3377480
I think it's the same anon that had schizo New Vegas thread once, starting with Emily Ortal. And maybe one more schizo thread of him, but I'm not sure.
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>>3408987
>Also, not sure why Quarrians didn't just find a new planet to live on, instead of flying around.
The Citadel Council would not allow it. Unable to drop their petty grudge, anytime the Quarians found an ideal planet, the Council would actively demand they sign the planet rights over to the Elcor and etc

The Quarians kept tried playing fair with the Council which was obviously a miscalculation, those tyrants never exercise honor
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>>3408996
Maybe I should stop posting, or try making my posting style less distinct? It's no secret that there are baseless accusations floating around that I am working for the Geth, and while these rumors are total bullshit, it raises the question of what if they train an AI exclusively off my posts? That could mean a Synthetic Uprising resulting in billions of human deaths overnight.



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