Well i fucked her and would do this again. At least shes human and doesnt like bullshit, unusual for women
She's mentally ill.
>>3698118Best girl. Always was, always will be.
She was my first choice, too, but I have a weakness for bald chicks because of Eve Salvail in Fifth Element.
>>3698243i wonder if Asari was inspired by that diva in sixth element
>>3698118>>3698224Uses goods
>>3698334Shut upI can save her
>>3698334uses what goods? tattoo and scalp care supplies?
>>3698118She's perfect. But should get better fashion sense.
>>3698308Google says they were inspired by Orion slave girls from Star Trek and Syreens from Star Control 2.
>>3698118waifu
>>3698527You didn't need to post that. Yet you did.
>>3698118If you can get over the fact that she has tattoos and is bald (she was a science experiment and starts growing her hair in the sequel anyway), she's easily the most beautiful woman in the Mass Effect franchise. Her personality leaves a lot to be desired, but getting the bitchy "don't need no man" character to soften up and open herself to a proper relationship is a kino trope.
>>3698118>Shaves her head so males will stop lusting after her>Surgically removes her breasts so males will stop lusting over her>Covered in prison tattoos that the majority of males find revolting by default>Weakest squadmate in the trilogy>"WHAT IN THE FUCK!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T FIND ME SEXY, COMMANDER!? W..WHY NOT? THIS IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE!">"WHAT ARE YOU, A FAGGOT OR SOMETHING!? OH WELL OKAY THAN COMMANDER FAGGOT! GO BACK TO DECK 1 AND GO FUCK YOURSELF SIR!">"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!!!!!!! I HATE YOU SHEPARD!">"OH YEAH? WELL I THINK YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS! A JEALOUS BRAT OVER THE FACT THAT YOU'LL NEVER BE A REAL WOMAN LIKE I AM, SHEAPRD! OKAY?? AM I GETTING WARMER? HUH!?">"OH SO NOW YOU'RE GOING TO ROMANCE THE CHEERLEADER INSTEAD OF ME!? FINE!! SEE IF I CARE!! OH AND BY THE WAY HEY GUESS WHAT SHEPARD, I DO NOT FUCKING CARE! GO BANG YOUR MOMMY YOU UNSTABLE FREAK!">"OH SO NOW YOU'RE NOT EVEN GOING TO TAKE ME TO PRAGIA!? WHY NOT!?">"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE A FUCKING GODDAMN ATTITUDE PROBLEM!? I'M NOT CRAZY! YOU'RE CRAZY! FUCK OFF CRAZY COMMANDER FAGGOT!"what was her problem? seriously
>>3698118>unusual for womenYeah very unusual for a woman to be a mentally ill daddy issues bitch full of tattooes and a shaved feminazi head.
>>3701922Can you fuck mirinda in third game? Nice ass and rack
Well she got fucking killed in me2Will she got retconmed in 3? I dont want missing content after importing my sheppard
>>3702604Nta, but I don't think so. Iirc, its just some quest to save her sister or something.
>>3702860What are you talking about? The only character that has to die in the ME games is Kaiden or Ashley. Everyone can potentially survive the suicide mission in ME2.
>>3702860>>3702941And also its pretty hard to save her because she has a fight with Miranda and you need to have either high paragon or renegade to convince her to stop being a bitch.
>>3702941Well they told me she diedAt least i fucked her
>>3702604You can bang ME3 on the Citadel twice. If you want to bang her on the Normandy, you'll have to look into follower mods
>>3703278>>3702604oops, typo. my bad I meant to type "bang ME3 Miranda's asshole on the Citadel twice" in the previous post
>>3698118>PolishOpinion discarded.
>>3698224Miranda looked perfect, but too perfect and had the stacy vibe to go with it.Jack is the proper I can fix her Tomboy any red blooded man would ride off into the sunset on.>canonically took care of "her kids" in the sequel and sexed up the lesbian prison bitch lookYeah...>>3701922>tsundere vibe hits anon in the head and he still doesn't get it>why else is she so antagonistic toward stacy
>>3698118Reminder she got a train run on her in prison.
>>3698118Jack is the best human character in the Mass Effect franchise for one simple reason:It's widely acknowledged that the human characters in ME suck. Hell it's not even a Mass Effect issue, just look at other Bioware "generic human" characters like Carth Onasi. In a universe of cool aliens, the regular humans inevitable end up bland as fuck. That's not saying they don't have anything interesting going for them, just that what's interesting for them fails to compare to what's interesting for someone who's already interesting to begin with. Literally nobody cares about Kaidan, Jacob, or Vega, while the only reason anyone cares about characters like Ashley or Miranda is because they have nice tits and you can bang them. But why the fuck would you bang some generic snobby Stacy when you could bang Tali or Liara? And why would you want to bro it up with some generic Chad Beefslab when you can hang with the lifes of Wrex, Garrus or Legion? It makes some sense to want to be the Generic Male Human Fighter in a game of people much cooler than you, but nobody wants to surround themselves with Generic Male Human Fighters.But Jack, with her outlandish appearance, her over the top backstory, her psychotic behavior and her highly emotional story arc (with a very satisfying conclusion) is as alien to the player as any of the actual aliens. Where every other human comes across as bland exactly because they're regular humans, Jack stands above the crowd by being the least "regular" human there is. If they had given Jacob and Miranda a similar treatment and actually made them stand out in their own ways, they would have had a chance to get more of a reaction out of the fanbase. Instead, we get "generic dude with daddy issues" and "Assy McNicetits with daddy issues."
>>3701922>>Surgically removes her breasts so males will stop lusting over herChecked and incorrect.
>>3698118Who is this and why should I care?
>>3705692It's Jack, and because she's a broken meansexy girl that you can fix.
>>3698118>humanShe is?
>>3705468>Carth Onasi? Juhani was waay cooler bro, so much deeper, simply far more SOUL! So Carth simply can't compete r..right guys?>Carth Onasi? Yeah Mission Vao is just so much more interesting than him of course! she's a more solid SW wingman than Carth can ever dream of being!>Carth Onasi? The problem is Big Z is written 3 times deeper. Imo Carth just isn't based by comparison to the strong silent Wookie sadly!Wtf is your problem you anti-human racist? Carth is a fucking champion, man>Everybody hates Kaiden, Jacob and VegaNot true at all. All 3 Kaidens are based beyond belief>Ashley and Miranda are basically DEI hires they were only selected for the mission because OMG BIG FOCKIN BOOBA lolamirite?The gunnery chief is in fact more interesting than the detective bc she is an enjoyable relatable person not just a sexy rack of tits. Fearless proud poetic space marine archetype who loves guns and Bibles and shit? pretty based>Jacks as alien to the player as any of the actual aliensI find Lawson more exotic than Jack. Shes not only the first human biotic but she also definitely feels the most alien of all human shiphands bc of the 6 billion creds flushed modding her genetic code to make her stand out above all peers. Operative Lawson is technically human but seems to a have Salarianlike IQ, Kroganlike regeneration, Asarilike sex appeal and etc all wrapped into one Stacy>generic StacyALL her stats are tweaked to operate at-or-above peak human capacity levels. quite literally the dictionary-definition exact opposite of generic in this regard>every other human comes across as bland>regular humans?>ick!sounds like youre blinded by main-character syndrome and youre also easily distracted by shiny objects so to speak. Just bc these humans can not rival Shepard's stature does not automatically make them small. Theyre still big guys. some of the most exception lifeforms in our entire Galaxy when viewed through the POV of 99% of the Milky Way's residents
>>3705920>I find Lawson more exotic than Jack. Shes not only the first human biotic but she also definitely feels the most alien of all human shiphands bc of the 6 billion creds flushed modding her genetic code to make her stand out above all peers. Operative Lawson is technically human but seems to a have Salarianlike IQ, Kroganlike regeneration, Asarilike sex appeal and etc all wrapped into one Stacy>ALL her stats are tweaked to operate at-or-above peak human capacity levelsToo bad literally none of that ever shows ingame. She acts like a blind Cerberus stooge, constantly scrambling to come up with excuses for why Cerberus isn't really the bunch of evil retards that they're portrayed as at every turn, right up until the very end where she suddenly turns on them despite zero character development in that direction all game long. Her biotics aren't especially strong, being easily outclassed by Jack and Samara, her combat ability is mediocre, and her tactical insight is never even brought up anywhere it might be relevant. She's nowhere near the genetically perfect, hyper-intelligent seductress that her backstory makes her out to be anywhere ingame. Her only character traits are blind loyalty to Cerberus and whining about how much of a burden it is to be "perfect". At least other suposedly intelligent characters like Mordin get to do smart shit like figuring out a counter to the paralyzing bugs to prove that their intelligence is not just a meaningless line in their biography blurb. Miranda is a cardboard cutout, a nothing burger. Even a role as your Cerberus-assigned handler amounts to nothing at all. For all intents and purposes, her entire purpose in the actual game is to provide an ass and a pair of tits to ogle.Miranda is arguably the worst-written character in all of ME2 aside from the Illusive Man, and the fact that you're jumping to her defense like this is hilarious.
>>3705710From what game? Also anyone who cares about relationships in a game is a fag who doesn't have one IRL.
>>3698118It's just funny to me that the woman who clearly goes for an revolting look is the most beautiful of the whole cast.Guess her face scan was the only one who didn't go to shit.
>>3705993>ModShe isn't like this.
>>3705936>suposedly intelligent characters>like mordinwhat? he's the smartest man in the Galaxy. of course no Salarians, Humans or Asari can compete, he's the mightiest member of an already-gifted race which has been upgrading it IQ levels via government sponsored eugenics for like a thousand generations. Research projects in Mass Effect universe are typically supposed to involve dozens of scientists and takes months or years to make even a small inch of progress. but with Mordin it is the exact opposite, give him a good lab and a top tier AI and he'll move forward lightyears in hours. You can't be serious if you're comparing Mordin's powerlevel to Miranda's to make some silly point about her being low IQ. It'd be like comparing our planet's smartest Orangutang to Albert Einstein
>>3705938Mass Effect 2, and maybe 3.
not ONE (1) person in the thread so far has mentioned Yeoman Chambersgrim
>>3706029Spectacular way to miss the point, you utter retard.The point isn't whether Mordin is smarter than Miranda, it's that Mordin is supposed to be smart and the game shows him being smart, while Miranda is supposed to be smart but the game portrays her as a blind moron.
>>3698118I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite whore on the Normandy.
>>3706277>Pfft, Miranda? Kind of low IQ human imo. Clearly TIM only needs her for her big baz00mbas and not at all for her big brains>/thread!!Get real whelp. First of all there wouldn't even be a Commander Shepard after the events of ME1 if not for Miranda's maxed out IQ, nobody else had the qualifications to manage the Lazarus project to resurrect the first dead man back to the ranks of the living. Not to mention the obvious subtext you missed in that TIM had a tricky choice to make, which was more valuable to Cerberus? The limitless stream of Henry Lawson's billions of credits in funding, or the vast assassination/espionage/tactical//technical/scientific/biotic combatant/deception/seduction/physical strength/medical/subterfuge/leadership/omni-tooling/management/spycraft/gunfigher/data analysis skillsets that his daughter possesses? Obviously TIM went the high IQ route here and determined Henry's billions of credits in funding is less valuable than Miranda's unrivaled expertiseYou're just unimaginative, you can't grasp the simplest of subtexts. It's like you feel some need to create imaginary oppression in your head to rebel against so you constantly build armies of strawmans to fight, in this instance the strawman being that Operative Lawson is some dumb useless weaklingironically you're defending Jack when she's one of the only people without a job. Ever notice how when Shepard says goodbye to Mordin or Tali or Miranda or etc he lays down the heavy subtext by saying:>"I'll let you get back to work (on all 4 of your computers) Miranda. Have fun"Whereas with Jack? Commander Shepard lays down a different manner of manner of subject by saying:>"I'll let you get back to masturbating and procrastinating Jack. Have fun">>3706196so?
>>3706957Nta but god i would love to sneak around the depths of the normandy and stumble upon jack rubbing one out, probably the only time she would act like a normal human.
>>3706082Played all 3 and don't remember her at all. Was she some dlc character?
>>3707064No. She was the "secret biotic" that was locked away in a max security prison because she was too violent and her abilities were too strong. The twist was you thought it was a guy because Jack and then it's a girl because Chronicles of Riddick. TIM figures if you're going on a suicide mission, you might as well bring the insane chick with no future along. She ends up being an abused softy and develops maternal instincts for her students in ME3, and also table dances because she's a wild slut. Though as another "interesting twist", she tosses you away like Viconia does if you just fuck her when she offers.
>>3706971True, I guess. Chances are Jack probably watches tons of MASSIVE Krogan cock cuckolding porn on the extranet pretty regularly which imo is almost like the game straight up telling us that her porn addiction issues probably exacerbate her already-severe mental problems to grow even worse. The reason you never catch Jack in the act of gooning is the same bs reason you never walk in on Jacob and Grunt and Garrus taking massive space shits in Shepard's toilet on Deck 3, game developers are too lazy to program NPCs doing normie stuff like masturbating and pooping. It stinks because you just know that even with all of her genetic upgrades Miranda still definitely has to poop sometimes about once every 2 weeks or so, so ideally the RPG should've been programmed to allow me to watch Miranda and Kasumi take a space shit occassionally if I choose to do so for the simple sake of extra immersion
>>3706196Is that the ginger? She is third place. It goes Jack, Squidhead MILF, Ginger Secretary, Doctor GILF.
>>3705468The only human character I did not care for was Jacob. Zaeed is top tier squadmate.
>>3707169>Jacob TaylorJacob was pretty damn based imo. the only problem is his blackness never comes up in conversation. not even once in the whole trilogy? why not? were they trying to hide the fact that he's black? did nobody on the Normandy even notice that he's black? I get that you don't want to make everything about race and overdo it, but how come it NEVER comes up even once? Like maybe when Shepard first meets Jacob he could at least say something like:>"Oh, so you're the black man in this operation? What the hell is this place anyway? Where am I? What's your name?"So at least the player will know that other the characters do recognize him as being black. Jacob's black, that's fine, but it should also be fine for other characters to mention how fucking black he is. but they never do. wtf?>Zaeed MassaniThe guy is the very personification of based but it is bizarre how nobody asks what the deal with his goofy fucking accent is
>>3707180Jacobs story is his father was an asshole so he was raised by a single mother always feeling like he wasn't good enough for anything (because racism of course), and then later he dates femshep, profess their love and whatnot, and then in ME3 he cheats on her.Pretty damn niggerish if you ask me.
>>3707200It could have made for a dangerously based Renegade Interrupt if you could make Commander Shepard viciously scream the nigger word at Ronald Taylor, suddenly Jacob is in full agreement he would immediately shout:>"AYO! He ain't wrong, pops! What don't you get about that!? The only nigger that's still standing on this island is you! Or at least for now you're still the only nigger, for 5 more seconds until I pop the rest of my thermal clips into your ugly blackass!"At which point you can either let Jacob murder his runaway father 5 seconds later, or calm Jacob down with a classic smoothtalker Paragon Interrupt to resolve their family dispute peacefully
>>3707071>The twist was you thought it was a guy because Jack and then it's a girl becauseChances are TIM did not mention Jack was a woman in her official dossier because he was worried Shepard would throw the dossier straight in the ship's trash compactor and disregard her Purgatory mission entirely
>>3707071Don't remember that at all. Game was shit.
>>3707238>Don't remember that at allHow can anybody not remember the ugliest woman on record in the known Galaxy? Were you on a benzodiazepine bender when you played these RPGs?>Game was shitHow would you know that? You can't even remember jack shit about the game what with your Alzheimer's problem
Jack and Miranda are just weaker bisected knockoffs of Ashley but Mass Effect fans are redditors who hate her because she's waycist
>>3707268Ashley was so fucking based.
>>3707268>Jack and Miranda are just weaker bisected knockoffs of Ashleyhuh?>Jack = Psychotic Biotic thug nigger>Miranda = Human Supremacist secret agent>Ashley = Hardboiled "no nonsense" space marineI see minimal little similarities between these 3 women other than the fact that they're all elite level trained killers who reside in deep space>Everybody hates her because she's waycistMiranda is almost twice as racist as Ashley is, right? what gives? I suppose they grant her a free pass because she has a big ass>>3707271Yes she was
>>3707280Wheres miranda nad her tits
>>3706957Problem is that Miranda has an auzzie accent and when ever I hear a female auzzie accent I assume something really retarded will come out of her mouth so as a self defense mechanism I tune out what ever she was saying.Should have made her have a German accent and then I would think she was smart.
Miranda best girl, especially if you watched Chuck, I was looking forward to banging that Australian accent Polish blond chick. Sure the face import wasn't as successful but I just imagine how she looked for real in Chuck.
>>3707397Are you saying her tits are too small? She can control the size of her breasts, telepathically adjusting her eezo charge levels in her upper body, somewhat similar to how male humans adjust the size of our weiners but not entirely the same process exactly. Some missions call for different cup sizes ergo she's designed to be quite flexible in such matters. and no this isn't space magic we're talking about here, the science provided via in-universe technobabble seems legitimately plausible. strongly implying most Human women will be probably be able to adjust their tit size (small, medium, large, etc) at will about 100 years from now whenever they choosetldr: Operative Lawson is electric, and biotic. if she applies a negative electrical charge to her boobs they grow smaller, and if she applies a positive electric charge to her boobs they grow larger
>>3707447The thing is I'm too American to relate to your little problem. I can't tell the difference between British and Australian accents. To me Miranda just sounds like a snobby Harry Potter character
>>3707254Because the game was so bland nothing was memorable about it, except the stupid ending where you basically walk down a straight line and none of the endings matter and you get some dumb text overlay.
>>3705468I like Vega. I think he looks neat.
>>3707528What a fascinating display of autism.
>>3707709Miranda's breasts are fascinating yes but they are not autistic no, they're just genetically enhanced to total perfection. Billions of credits were spent by her wealthy father ensuring that both breasts function at the absolute maximum magnitude. just like her butt!
>>3707745Why does her sister look nothing like her then?
>>3708227Very astute of you. Oriana and Miranda's genetic codes were both ingeniously reprogrammed from the ground up for them to utterly reverse the wall altogether. Miranda being significantly more attractive than Oriana despite Miranda being 17 years older than Oriana is one of her primary design features working as intended. They're both pretty much the exact opposite of regular muttblood women who are born beautiful but grow uglier and uglier as they age. The Lawson twins are born ugly but they grow more and more beautiful as they age, it is the perfect methodology of weaponizing science against nature to outwit the wall's system. Sure, Miranda is outrageously good looking in ME2 but she's only 35 years old in ME2, only just beginning to get her revenge against the wall. When Shepard meets her at age 35 Miranda is "only" a stunning 10/10 Rocket Launcher, but give it a century and when she hits 135 she will be a stunning 10/10 Metal Gear. And consider from that point forward her beauty will continue to grow exponentially because of course if you wait yet another century by the time Miranda reaches age 235 she will be a stunning 10/10 Death Star
>>3698118The real question is why can't Femshep and Jack 69 in the Engineering deck and snuggle in the Captain's Quarters and etc? I actually find it interesting that the game does not let you lezz it up with Subject Zero if you are rolling as a Femshep. Jack frequently brags to her Commander ingame that she's hooked up with tons of girls and tons of guys in the past but the game still doesn't let Femshep fingerbang Jack's farthole not to mention iirc the meta at the time was over 90% of females are officially listed as bisexual in the Milky Way on their government paperwork and less than 1% of males are fags during this same Galactic time period. So wtf why would the game prevent Femshep from eating Jack's biotic farts? In vanilla Jack already dresses/acts like a gigadyke so it is not as if her lesbian romance subplot would taste like some sort of forced woke political agenda here it'd agreeably fit the Mass Effect worldbuilding. That's just Jack's character, she's a whore. Would also be nice if Femsheps could throw DLC characters like Kasumi Goto and Zaeed Massani a "we'll bang, okay?" followed by an erotic fade2black fling scene after exhausting all ship dialogue imo. If I paid for them why can't I bang them? At least ME3 lets Femshep bang Javik but Javik wasn't originally intended to be a DLC character, they cut Javik from the game before release making him DLC so EA could steal extra credits. What I find hilarious about Javiks romance is even if you want to RP a cold prude Femshep in the Galaxy who romance nobody across all 3 games, Javik will still successfully bang Femshep unless you're extra careful to not invite him to the Citadel party or not recruit Javik until after the Citadel party. Another funny thing about Femshep romances is if you are trying to RP that she is straight-as-a-board and hates lesbians, Samara will still beg straight Femshep to pretend to be a lesbian so you can seduce her daughter into a murdertrap on Omega which makes one chuckle
Regular Shepards definitely should've been able to bang Kasumi too.. not just because I paid irl credits to download Kasumi but also because from an in-universe meta pov TIM is exactly the type of man who would firmly write in Kasumi Goto's contract that she is not allowed to reject Shepard's sexual advances under any circumstances. Even if for whatever reason Kasumi did not want to hook up with Commander Shepard he could still "force" Kasumi to have sex with him whenever he wants because TIM wrote her contract wisely. You should be able to "force" Samara into a romance as Femshep or regular Shepard too of course because she's essentially your slave during ME2 so she has to obey any and all orders to the T, even horrifically degrading sexual orders and cruel humiliation rituals because of her obsessive devotion to her Justicar honor, she has to do anything you say like Shepard tells her in the Nos Astra police station. Except if you Renegade rape Samara in ME2 and she survives the suicide mission there are very serious consequences you should have to fight Samara as in notoriously difficult OP boss battle later in ME3. No matter if you play Parafag or Renatard you are forced to kill Samara and also forced to choose to save only one of your two squamates very similar to Virmire. So if you bring Tali and Garrus on the Samara mission you're sadly forced between having to sacrifice either Tali or sacrifice Garrus
>>3706196Probably because EA retconned her cute appearance in LE when they went with a very bizarre writing decision to transform Yeoman Chambers into a monster... go figure she's universally considered the worst romance option after LE's release these days
>>3712061all she does for you is dance anyway. best just to fuck one of the other girls.