This is the writing thread, for all things VTuber fanfiction. Our works cover a wide variety of different stories ranging from greentext shitposts, full-length adventure novels and smut that’s been tuned to capture (almost) every fantasy.You can check out the three years' worth of stories we’ve written in the archive below:https://script.google.com/macros/s/AKfycbxZVzygb0QjJ6hksAEYzCbLCegxsjhui97BB73qzPvU7GgJv6fXdAPmmIv6Qt9H5d5Fzg/exec"Isn't this just you fuckers writing fanfiction?"Yes.Previous thread:>>98852159(Where we discussed Gremlin feminization, Psyco criminals pretending to be cute maids, Getting rapped by migo and becoming the office's plaything, DEV_IS battle harem, Sexual cold war against Reine and even more making out with Gigi!)/wg/ rentry:https://rentry.org/wgrentry/
Story anchor.Post 'em if you got 'em.
Do you have a story you'd like to see written? Reply to this post with it! Try to be as clear and concise as possible; the better you describe your idea, the more likely it is to be picked up!Consider forwarding your prompt to the prompt archive to keep your idea safe and alive forever! No information is gathered - it's all completely anonymous. Use the form below:https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScgcr8y7I9NUta22Ni0gFvS51veG5_7XjJrVD1BvJqDtX5_sQ/viewformCurious to see the prompt archive? Check it out here if you need a little more inspiration!https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/3/d/e/2PACX-1vR5ZggiHWXX_WSqCC5bvPR2QeLFGNMTjlgk6MuxmoVdRUIepkJa7PUlJAQ5RzHkZM_hhthLLXjab9Dt/pubhtml?gid=1162270883&single=true
Story recap!There weresix stories posted last thread:Toothache Chapter One: Mussori>>98852468Tags: Choco-sensei, Sora, Flare, roadtrip, feels,HoloJourneys Chapter 52: A Bridge Can't Be Built Without Water Beneath >>98955583Tags: (Flare, Nene, SFW, Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Fluff)HoloJourneys Chapter 53: A Union of Inner Hungers >>98955583Tags: (Botan, NSFW, Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Fluff)Love Chills Before it Warms - The Original Extended Altered Bauing Wet Cat Edition >>98955583Tags: (FuwaMoco, Lamy, Nerissa, Shiori, Bijou, Elizabeth Rose Bloodflame)A story in which IRyS gives Bae a wedgie >>98959283Tags: IRyS, Bae, WedgieA story in which Bae suffers a wedgie incident at the gym >>98969935Tags: Bae, Wedgie
>>99102749>Rapped>>99102799Getting dissed by elite miko.
Lab-engineered Morismell..
>>99088749Thanks for reading and the feedback. The inclusion of Justice is not super necessary beyond the fact I just wanted it in there. It kinda opens my mind up to other possibilities such as a different story or route where Raora and Anon start getting becoming more chummy with one another. And eventually meet in abandoned hallways in secret to make out and Anon gets to spank the big ass of that big cat through her jeans while they're in a puberty driven haze. I'm glad you enjoyed the Advent scenes, it was really my goal to paint the picture that they're a tight group that will always support one another. And thanks for the formatting callout, I did not mean to leave that in there.
Not gonna lie i kinda forgot Gura was still around
>>99104807She feels like an affiliate already at times, more of a mascot than a streamer
>>99106663maybe?I guess im just used to the very old school of vtubing where we didnt even get a graduation and the vtubers just banished out of existance, so if you didnt see someone for a few months without explanation you assumed they moved on
>>99103847 The fucking reverse dynamic Chem startup prompt/idea is getting stuck in my head since all the plot bunnies are coalescing into a structure. Especially since the "cold war build up to war goes hot" gives it a natural plot of X chapters worth of character introductions, company buildup, and deranged femcel/desperate hag manipulations/dates. Then a natural part 2 of characters jumping down the slipper slope of moral degeneracy, fucked up sex with magical drugs, and playoffs.Not sure if I'll pick up this as a fic but it's getting the mind a stirring.
>>99106864Same, it's still stuck in my head.. At this point if someone don't do a fic, I'll do my own. Probably just a Morismell oneshot though.
>>99107185Yeah I might make a morismell one shot to try and test the waters on if the setup actually works past being a hot idea.Current idea for the oneshot is>You're forced to be grouped with her while researching under Koyori>She's a smelly fujo and gives you the creepsvbut you give her the benefit of the doubt and try to be at least cordial with her.>One late night she accidentally taints a batch of serum with her smell/some other fucking plot device.>You're stuck being the one testing serums today while Mori monitors.>It's the usual, you stay a good few feet from her stink while you take a serum down the hatch->It gets foggy and by the time your head starts to clear up she's all up in your face.>Cut to a montage of Mori slowly piecing together what this new serum lets her get away with as she tinkers with the formulas and "convinces" you that it's more efficient if you take them. >Soon she enact her fantasies.>Gets you to stay with her researching close to each other all night>Even managing to get you to hang out with her outside of research>Farthest she gets before graduation is managing to convince you to make out with her and or do oral on her.>Then the school year ends, you're both graduated and she no longer has a lab to make the chems or you to dose them on.>...>Then months later her favorite lab partner gives her the opportunity to be head of research in a new chemical startup.
>>99107185You should get started on your own right now.
dozo
dont die dont be mean
>>99111108I think being mean to Bae would be a lot of fun actually
>>99111731I'd take Bae to a classical concert, wait for a quiet moment and trick her to stand up and clap before the performance is over
>>99111731Bae is such a sweetheart though. I would fold the second she started getting upset.
>>99113104>>99111731but what if it was orgasm denial
>>99113104>April Fool's Day>Get Promise to tell Bae you died last night while you hide somewhere in the office>The instant they tell her she starts bawling her eyes out, completely inconsolable>Everyone immediately feels really bad, and now have to go try and find you to show Bae it's just a jork
>>99113541That's a fucked up cruel april fool's day joke what the fuck
>>99113587I didn't think of it that way, in my mind I was thinking that they didn't know Bae liked (You) so much so they were expecting more of a 'damn...' rather than full on tears.I've also totally done that with a friend of mine and a community of several hundred people and it did actually go over well
>>99113737Maybe its because i grew up with that episode of spongebob where the point its that cruel jokes suck but i feel like that's too mean spirited.Which is fine if you want to hammer the point yknow? Something like Anon pulls a very cruel joke without meaning to and now he has a sobbing rat and a gaggle of really mad girls surrounding him
>>99113938>spongebobJust for that being the reason for your aversion for such things, I'm gonna green-light that anon's fucked up prank
>>99115196im not american so april fool's was never a thing for me+there was that era of youtube/tv shows based around murder clown pranks and general outrage shit.I just think that innocent pranks are way more fun and dont end with someone pulling a gun on you
>>99106864Stinky femcels.....
>>99113737>>99113938Maybe a prank that's in the same spirit but dialed back a notch?">"Oh my God, Bae, Anon was in a terrible car accident!">"What?! He is okay??" >"No, he's banged up pretty bad. He's at the hospital going into surgery RIGHT NOW.">"WHAT?! Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I need to go. Does anyone have a key to his place? He's gonna want a fresh change of clothes. Damn I haven't even showered-">Pop out of your hiding place, "Gotcha!"> There's a look of disbelief on Bae's face. And then the tears start.
>Tell Bae that you got two tickets for a cruise this weekend>What she doesn't know that it will be a stormy weather that day and that your cabin is on lowest floor>The night before the cruise you make her watch the uncut 5-hour version of Das Boot
Sex with 10 chuubas at once.
>"....non.....anon? You there dude? I was just uh, asking if you were okay? You went into a coma when I took my shirt off. It's only been like...uh.........3 days since I showered, jeez......"
Since not much else is going on, here's a draft of a WiP I made almost 2 years ago. Not sure if or when I'll get back to it, but the idea is kinda something cozy that I'm into. https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQ2Ek28dNrKIjkogOaZ5ApYkoDJv1Yux_NI3B9pJ18jRTEr94uIe5vOTtoFvzeoRAfq9WgypPWXcJSb/pubTldr: You offer a helping hand for an exhausted foster mother Lui and her troublesome children. Maybe you'll win her heart, or maybe one of her daughters. Who knows?
>>99117403>>99123297pungent
>>99123341If you allow me to offer some advice i think there's two slight problems with it>There's no hookI feel like Anon here is too nice. I dont mean he should be meaner,but it does feel he's just doing it because he's just that swell of a guy and there's nothing to give the story some justification for scenes to happen. Id say that something like "Lui and the girls are staying in the motel across the street" could be a bit more natural and help them to know each other without the slight reach of "this guy is just so nice and lets them come to the beach"id say a slight fix is "Anon meets them at the beach, they get introduced and he reveals its his property,but who cares just enjoy the beach" or something like that. As it is, characters are too railroaded into following the story rather than things happening>Checking one too many boxesIts a chunky WIP as it is. It introduces Anon, the bar, the staff, his life, Lui, the girls, their deal and its a bit bloated. Feels like you are checking the boxes now so you can get it done and move on. You could simplify this as Lui says she has daughters...that they are a lot but she loves them despite their quirks...then you meet them and as you interact with them these quirks become more apparent.Aside from that, i like the idea a lot. You SHOULD date single mothers, its based
>last archive update was nearly a full month agodamn this place is so fucked
>>99113270Bae is too smart for that, she'd already be orgasming from the setup and would be too pathetic to not mating press afterwards.
>>99125929That's some good advice, mate. I honestly forgot how front loaded this draft was, since I hadn't touched it in who knows how long, but remembered it was enough of a start to hopefully be half interesting to share. I definitely agree that Lui's initial interaction could be simplified. It would be a better scene overall later to let the quirks be more of a surprise. I could see how I could also make the arrangement a bit more organic too, by rolling off the slight fix you suggested with a few tweaks to it. >You SHOULD date single mothers, its basedIt sure is, pal, it sure is. My original notes kinda set up Chloe to be the main winner. We were gonna gamble illegally, and then watch her break some guy's nose.
>>99104191Whirlwind High School romance with Raora...
its been a while since the circus been in town.
>>99128885Would Raora be cheating with you or would Raora be the one that makes you cheat?
>>99131122Neither.
>>99131250Raora making you cheat on Nerissa sounds like a wacky Justice plot where Raora distracts you while Liz does her actual seduction attempt. Then you fall into Raora's arms when it works and Raora jacks you off while you watch Liz and Rissa fuck.
>>99131879While I'd expect Liz to make a shitty plan like that, it begs the question, why? She would sooner drag my ass into the ring and put a sword through my gut and claim she won Nerissa in fair combat. Nerissa would be caught up in the moment and fucking go for it before it hit her that I'm dead and Liz can't give her babies.
>>99126180I've been dealing with some serious issues, I'll get it sorted in a bit.
>>99132324>Liz beats your shitty yugioh deck then fucks your girlfriend right in front of youHot?
>>99134425>Liz Exodias you before you get to even out a card down>You commit seppuku instantly
>>99133903bro. would you shut up? nerissa would not want you talking like that. seize the day. serious issues? what a joke. we all have the same 24 hours. no one in myth would be happy about this.
>>99131122Raora strikes me as a girl who'd get you to cheat
>>99134425You got no fucking clue how GX-pilled I am. You do not want this shitty one-liner duel autism thrown your way. >Well, Liz, it's been a real blast, but I'm afraid your kingdom is about to come falling down. >Poppycock! You do not have a single monster to defend you, and my Cosmo Queen will take the rest of your life turns come my next turn. Nerissa will see you for the slifer slacker that you are. >Well this Slifer slacker is about to dethrone the queen. Draw! *Manic laughter as I transform into japanese* Reverse cardo Open!
>>99133903Glad you got out of that El Salvadorian prison, AA. Fucked up that ICE deported you like that.
>>99133903Stay strong, AA. Life hasn't killed ya yet, and it's not gonna get the better of you now.
>>99133903Good to see you're still kicking, friend
Towa gets hit with a curse that prevents her from liying from an entire day.so you spend all day asking her if she loves you and enjoying how she cant be tsun since all her words are full on dere
>>99140974>Ask Towa if she likes you>she says yes>Ask Towa how much she likes you>[REDACTED] then [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] until the whole room stinks>Now its you blushing and Towa smugly hovering near you since you are the one all bothered>recruits someone to ask her questions she cant lie about so you keep getting more and more red as she piles on all the things she thinks but can never say out loud
Calliope Mori but in a wedding dress
>>99121166i wanna look for mermaids with Bae
>>99142723>Recruits Marine to ask embarrassing questions to her>Marine is the one that gets flustered and frustrated by how lewd Towa's anders are. >Breaks by shoving both of you into a room and locking the door.
>>99147739That just makes me imagine a fluffy adventure where you get closer to Bae despite finding nothing. Then it ends when you run over Finana while driving back home and have to bury her in the woods.
>>99147912>Marine rubs the embarrassment out of her face.>"Seven! She wants seven kids!" she mumbles
>>99147912>anders>Towa sends a team of perverted Scandinavian banter merchants to bully Marine
>>99133903Bless you, AA.
Hello /wg/! I came here recently asking about the legitimacy of posting your own lore-based stories here. Now I want to know if the thought of engaging in a text-based narrative game might sound interesting to the thread instead. Would that still fall under this general's purview?
>>99155973One of our anons made a whole VN for Nijisanji, so go ahead.
>>99155973That's pretty solidly a quest thing. Last time an anon tried running on in thread the one running it was forced to move to /qst/... But that was year's ago when the mods still gave a shit about /vt/ so honestly you could probably run one nowadays without moderator/janny pushback.
>>99156806There was a whole improvised play by post ttrpg in the worldbuilding thread once without being shut down, too.
>"Hiii friend~!">"I'm not your friend you disgusting animal-eared abomination. Why don't you fuck off back to the zoo?">You spit at her>Kids start throwing rocks at her
>>99126578Uwaah, Bae's zako manko...>Cant do too much foreplay or she cums too hard>If the movie theather has one of those speakers below the seat she cant sit there or the vibration will cause an accident>Those massage sofas might as well be a masturbation sofa>When you put it in she needs a minute or two of breathing in and out. You can move early to bully her a bit and make her cum>Zero ability to hold it once in the mood. She ends up exhausted every time
>>99160192Sex with human women?
>>99161071I don't need sex. I just don't want to be harassed by weird creeps like this in public.
>>99161071I don't need sex either, but I do like it. Even with human women
So how are those racism WiPs coming along? Anything you'd like to share?
So its Holofanta/ss/y lost forever? Damn shotadom is always rare
>>99162860>racism WiPI guess that's one way to look at my life
>>99163624You sure it's not in the hard archive?I'm pretty sure that's an older fic that would have been caught up in one of the hard archiving waves.
>>99162860does writing mococo's accent count as racist?
>>99162860I still have a general outline for the Gigi slavehunter bit from the coffee plantation AU in a doc somewhere but I haven't really touched it.I don't really think the kemonomimi raceplay thing really works unless you're explicitly having it be in a hentai/porn logic world. So really it's just be a fetish fic thing that hasn't gotten any takers on indulging in the fetish.
>>99163900hard archive?
>>99164494Go to the archiveCtrl+F"hard archive"
>>99164494>>99164557congrats, you two annoyed me into this
>>99164413No.>>99163709Keep striving, king. >>99164488Surely it can be compelling. The people clamor for it, they want it, they need it. It has to be a narrative gold mine for sure.
>>99163900>>99164557nah its gonne, oh well it is what it is
>>99164830Extract the latest dump of the hard archive (the 2024 one) and you'll have your story right there.
>>99165314oh neat, ty
>>99164678That's a fabulous Fuwawa pic you've got there, the best I've ever seen, absolutely exquisite. It's a face of pure disdain, the kind of disdain you show to someone who barely registers as a sentient lifeform in your mind. I've always dreamt of Fuwawa heel turn, of Fuwawa brutally destroying the poster manchild of pathetic wuffians with FACTS AND LOGIC while she's making an expression like that.
>>99164678>>99102771Speaking of gremlin slavehunting I remembered I compiled the greentexts/discussion chain I was basing it off of. So here's the compilationGremlin Hunter (Gigi in the Coffee Plantation AU compilation)https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSB1Gz0mPAjvNp0c2hw27H47Gv57kZMUa9FZn21cnrQUSWF5v6xr0KBVV33b73FWq5o2q6zeansyFKn/pubtags: Gigi, Justice, Pekora, Greentext Compilation, NSFW
>>99165730its a shame fauna and her green pubes left us
>>99170947Flirting with Ririka until you learnshe's just as old as you areand that you are both hags pretending to be college freshman
>>99165683I like it because her breasts have sunglasses on.
>>99171158I am now reminded about Marine saying how Ririka was one of her people...
>>99171158>>99175368>Go to a uni mixer pretending to be a spring chicken>Holy shit look at those babes!>striking some conversation. things go well>someone brings up anime. >"Oh i really enjoyed preddycure when i was a kid!">"Wow its been a while! hasnt it?">"Yeah its all about Pattisiere">Dig your nails into your thighs, preventing yourself from screaming because Pattisiere came out like 10 years after you stopped watching and its an insult to the franchise>anway play your cards right, one of the guy gets drunk as fuck and you send him off. the other one ran off with the third girl>Its just you and these two horny college girls>"lets go to my house, is near here" says one>fuck yeah>The three of you arrive, things are obviously leading to a threesome>House is kind of a menhera den but fuck it. Drinks come and go>But as things start heating up, something catches your eye>there's a picture frame below one of the tables, looks like it fell>"Oh Mari-san, your phot-">its a highschool photo. Of your highschool>"Class of XX">shock and horror run through your body>these are not young otaku gals>these are OLD DUSTY cougars>and not any HAG either...these ladies...THEY ARE NOT LILY AND MARI! THEY ARE HOUSHOU MARINE AND ICHIJOU RIRIKA! THE MEGALOSERS OF SENDAI!>GIRLS WHO EXITED HIGHSCHOOL TWO YEARS AFTER YOUand when you try to make a break for it the door is locked, your pants are lowered and the showa era cosplays come out of the wardrobe
>>99176147I know this is self-insert fanfiction, but a threesome seems generous.
>>99178343according to my borderline whore friend The overwhelming majority of threesomes happens in these kind of situations>two people fancy the third one>they are good friends and down to experiment>no one wants to be "the one that comes after">The third person is also checking off a fantasy so why notThat or people sexpesting girls at a party and carrying them when no one is looking but that isnt nice isnt it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3_dBxBi84II want to live post-apocalyptic cafe slice of life... life with a green lesbian robot like this. Apocalypse? I'm pretty confident that we'll get there, but the cafe part is a problem. I don't how I'm gonna make Cecilia appreciate coffee.
>>99178763Does she need to drink coffee? Cafe's are more than the just that. She could be there for the flavored teas, pastries, or just the ambiance.
>>99178914I guess that's true. I'll handle the coffee and she can make other stuff.
>>99178648...Good to know I guess.
>>99179209anyway back to the important things.Sex with Marine in a shitty cosplay and she gets very concious of how old this anime you too are roleplaying is
>>99179849See, now you're speaking my language.
>>99180339>"hehehee, sister Mari is here to drain all your cum, you damn macho priest">Free yourself from the ropes (some cables you two had)>"hyaaan~">Pin her down on the bed>"Oh? you thought of me as defenseless? I used the wire of my bra to-">both of you stop, feeling dread because its been a hot minute since underwire bras have been popular>It also settles in that Machopriest was kind of a rapist back in the 80's>oh god...Machopriest Sankizen was in the 80s?>but...you two saw it on tv...sure it was a rerun but...oh god
>>99180690This, but then you realize for just how long you two have been together and find it endearing to have someone to share not only a past and present, but also the future.
>>99181761well yeah that's the point.You can recognize its been a hot minute since Wilky Holmes has been relevant but then you remember your kid really loves the sequel and then you both get really horny and make the second one while wearing cosplay
>>99179849>>99180690That succubus brothel from KonoSuba where you get to customize what kind of sex dream you're gonna have but the succubus they send over is Marine
>>99183103>"hey this is quite obscure but you...can you make it so you are the dark general of">"ah! that one? oh so many memories! i loved it when i was a kid!">spend a few hours basking in nostalgia>when the deed is done Marine leaves her number so you two can chat a bit more
>>99183103its been a while but i do miss the succubus that feeds on sexual dreams archetype.I dont dislike the "slut" idea of them fucking or need to be fucked but i do miss when succubus where allowed a bit more freedom on how they are written
>>99186670>>99188325>Marine after i misjudge the distance to the bed frame
>>99188417
>>99188417Why are you sabotaging my Cool Marine propaganda campaign
>>99188534>>99188657not my fault your intimate moments with your wife dont end with at least one funny story
Fallout New Vegas or WIP... I can't decide...
>>99188839Only if you use the Mental Instability mod.
>>99188839Both have stellar dialogue and will close by themselves but at least your wip doesnt have 30 hours of boring walks across a very boring map.I think?
>>99189193It's not boring if you're a chuuni like me and have an entire anime-manga storyline planned out.>>99189059If you mean wild wild west, I always have that on
>>99189342Im chuuni, i just hate western rpgs with the hate of a thousand suns because they all seem to hate good gameplay that doesnt boil to "shoot guns".Rest is good, i just hate the gameplay and i dont really care for cowboys so the aesthetic is lost on me
>>99189342Nah.https://www.nexusmods.com/newvegas/mods/87258
>>99188703It is your fault since you made it the fuck up. Read the room once in a while, god!
>>99188839Or turn your WIP into a Hololive/Fallout New Vegas crossover. >"You've made your last delivery, kid.">"Wh-What are you talking about, peko?? I'm just a vtuber!">"Sorry you got twisted into this scene...">"What are you doing with that gun, peko! I-I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry!" >"From where you're kneeling, it must seem like an 18-carrot run of bad luck...">"I'm too young to die, peko!" >"... truth is, the game was rigged from the start.">"Wai-wai-wait, PEKO----" >*BANG*>BETHESDA SOFTWORKS PRESENTS
>>99189460Western rpgs have significantly better combat than typical JRPG horseshit of attack/magic/item/run menu-based nonsense, which was ripped from wizardry/m&m and made worse.
>>99191048The good news is nobody here could possibly be a worse writer than Todd Howard, even if they're not as good as NV
>>99164488Speaking of slavery AUs, I quite liked the one people came up with recently where maids are fair game for harassment and discipline.
>>99192362I don't think the horny maid au is necessarily a slavery thing but it's definitely adjacent to the same kind of dynamics.
Zeta takes on her hardest mission yet: shaking me off as i chase her with a rose and heart shaped eyes
>>99102799Zeta's journey to being a cat>stage 1: laughs along>stage 2: getting annoyed>stage 3: genuinely angry>stage 4: depressed>stage 6: you wake up with Zeta (wearing cat ears and tail) sleeping on top of you
>>99113541That's how she ends up vanishing without a warning or contacting anyone and then, five years later, you find her running an orphanage in the middle of nowhere
American Psycho AU with Kronii as Batemanhttps://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRQKgC4gqras5jHSO8RHFFsLUnCo4DY6-mW5WBiIWfpXAfSXP5GOlCYf54SpyqTZ-SDBt3UzQ6bL5RN/pub
>>99202406>real names and RMsugh.My great distaste for that aside. This is just a scene of american psycho with some touches.Its not funny (or at least it didnt make me laugh) and its too short.I dont know what else to say
>>99202406Where were the scattered newspaper clippings? What about the mention of the raincoat? Or the dog? This did not make me feel like it was hip to be square.
>>99180690>"Hoo..? You want me to wear this one tonight?">Marine unpacks the outfit>"Oh! I recognise this! This is from that Idol anime! I didn't know you were a fan." she says.>"Yeah, I remember getting turned onto it during my Senior year. Been a fan ever since, never missed an entry.">"This is from the original series, isn't it? Maki-chan's outfit?""Sure is. She was my waifu back in the day.">"I used to watch this after getting home from my old office job. How nostalgic. >"...">"...">"...Anon, when did you graduate from High School again?">"Uhhh...Ten... Ten? No. twelve years ago...">"Yup. I was working for about two years by that point...">"...">"...">"I'll uh, I'll put it on.""...Thanks, babe."
>>99202748>>99203112samefag
>>99203470Put more effort into your fic next time.
>>99202748>This is just a scene of american psycho with some touches.Didn't someone already do that? I vaguely remember a shitpost from year one era /wg/ that was literally the zoo chapter from American psycho but with Aqua as the kid?
You guys should just write all the Moby Dick nerd scenes, but with Kronii
>>99204053That's half of the book
>>99203931we have some of these "this scene from X but chuubas" going around in the archive.I distinctly remember one being tagged "wrong" as part of the joke but i simply dont remember what it was parodying
>>99202406>Kronii as Bateman>not her description of her morning routine but rewritten to mimic Bret Easton Ellis' writing stylemy disappointment is immeasurable and my day is runied
>>99203931Yeah there was, but I don't think it ever got archived.
>>99123341God I hope you continue writing this. I can totally see any of the holox girls being the main character of this fic or even a harem.
>>99203604Might have to read the book again. I'll admit it's trying way too hard plus I wrote it when I was stuck in a writers block.
>>99209076I need to have sex with Raora
>>99210195she's so god damn loud though
>>99210195Oh how awful, my entire apartment complex will hear me having sex with a husky-voiced, fit and athletic Italian smokeshow. Truly a monkey's paw
>>99204609Pretty sure it was because it was literally a chapter of American Psycho but with Aqua's name attached to a kid.
>>99203225See Marine as a cougar is hot but i like both being the same age because it helps when the nostalgia/dread hits you both equally hard>Go out with Marine >See a wii labeled as retro gaming>Both of you get into an argument with the store owner.>The store owner is confused why these two are calling him a psycho while them being the ones at the verge of tears
>>99213809That's just asking for a zoomer side character that makes both of you feel like turning to dust when she starts talking about the newest trends.
>>99213809Anonchama, Marine started working right out of High School...
>>99214764>newest trendsEven worse is kids discovering the old stuff and then having to hear the same old shit you've heard billion times.
>>99217892Is Gigi's tail prehensile enough to jack you off?
Bump!
>>99102799Mining Biboo's feet out of her crystal shoes so you can suck on her toes
>>99102771thanks
Uh... Dozo?
>>99218403You'll have to train her, but it should be possible.
>>99226895>Training Gigi to use her tail>Get good results with her just using it as another hand>Try testing if she can get her technique right>Hold a carrot and have her pretend it's your dick.>Okay, looking good->She gets distracted by something on her phone, loses attention to her tail>Carrot pops into mush...>Gigi gives a wicked smile as she locks the door and blocks the exit.
>>99102799I really want to see a cheesy chuuni bit about Laplus hating your guts, but the moment you get hurt by someone else she immediately goes unshackled
>>99227544I will have to protect my dick by hiding it in her butt.
>>99193046It's basically serfdom, so one step away from slavery. Even they are signing a contract that says things like "If any of the guests find your work unsatisfactory or your demeanor displeasing, you are to submit to a spanking for as long as they want, as hard as they want, in public or in private", that's signing up for serfdom.
>>99231923Yeah, I agree. Realistically that kind of perverted, masters can do anything to maids, thing could only happen under either slavery or serfdom but I think that's viewing the wacky maid fetish idea with too much realism and not enough porn logic. Especially since the whole setup is ridiculous enough that I think you need some level of porn/hentai logic to keep the ideas all together.
>>99231923You don't need serfdom if they're into it enough.
>>99223391>Licking Biboo's rock candy feet
>>99233083I think treating inherently ridiculous scenarios with seriousness is interesting. Like there existing an intricate set of legal loopholes. >>99233237Some of them are into it, but some aren't and that makes it great.
>>99234491>some aren't and that makes it great.I'm content with those being into it, but without wanting to admit it.
>>99234581You can have stuff like "doesn't like being subjected to it, but takes pride in her work and thinks she deserves it for if caught lacking"
>>99102799Romance fic featuring your oshi
>>99233237>>99234491i kinda like the angle of a girl so into being submissive that she paradoxically becomes overwhelming and aggressive
What if Azki was your maid?
>Uncle Anon! What are we gonna do on the bed?
>>99243463I'm gonna teach you how to make the bed. It's time for you to do your own chores.
>>99238091A power bottom, basically. They want to be dominated, but they have a precise idea of how - and they will insist that their partner conform to their preferences.
You see this thing? I want to put my penis inside her. Real vaginal sex style.
>>99244568There's a lot of promise in denying them what they want. Ignore their attempts to get attention, refuse to give them commands, tie them up and leave them begging. "I've decided you're getting over my knee for a bare bottom spanking, then give me a blowjob to complete your lesson" should get you an enthusiastic "Yes, Master! Do you wish me to squeal or should I be quiet while you reddening up my bottom, Master?", not a yawn.
>>99246746I'm in love with a 2000 year old demon guard dog
>>99249879If the guy who spams "FUBUKI RAPE RAPE LOOOL LOOOL" had a single creative bone in his body you'd think he would reach the eventual realization you can easily write a fubuki smut based around the whole conceit of you pushing her around with the excuse of being "friends" excuse until you start fucking.>Cmon fubu-chan, we are friends right?>y-yeah>My bad tho. I kinda touched you there, do you hate me?>no, well...>it was an accident lol, my bad>if it was an accide->yeah an accident lool.basically a sleazebag that knows she cant say no to a friend
>>99251950I'm that guy actually, really glad to see that you remember me, friend. Here, you can have this picture of Fubuki right before she got forcey-fun time'd. Though, on a more serious note, I don't really like the sleazebag angle for my abuse/rape fics. I mean, if you want to abuse the girl, at least have the heart to hit her and shove her face into the ground, you know? Emotionally abusing them is just scummy.
>>99252374This reads like a 13 y/o's fantasy>yeah dude i rape and hit girls xd>no hey dont say mean things to her wtf dude
>>99252583Professionals have standards.
>>99252621Professionals write fics. In over two years we havent gotten a single fic that was based around rape except the plantation stuff.
>>99234491While I do also find treating absurd scenarios with some realism/seriousness is underrated when it comes to fully exploring an idea. Some of the more interesting ideas from the kemono coffee plantation setting came from treating it as more than a vehicle for fantasy raceplay... But it does also eventually reach limits at around the time it starts questioning the very fetish the idea was built around. For the kemono slave thing it would be asking why chattel slavery is seemingly built around all animal women races.
>>992526211. Be polite and give feedback.2. Be efficient. 3. Have a plan to write every fic in your WiP.
>>99254674>I'm not an alcoholic dad, I'm a writer!>Well one's a job and one's a mental sickness!
>>99258674>How Nerissa reveals both that the condom broke and demons have a 4-week gestation period
>>99255964>Writing's a good job mate!>It's challenging work, creative thinking... >I guarantee you'll always have an audience! Cause at the end of the day' long as there's two autists left in this hobby, someone's gonna want something to read!
>>99259069>Cut to a scene of a black anon reading a fic, getting to that scene, crashing out, and falling into a chair, writing a review so hard that his computer and the thread explode.
>>99258750>>99258674>Anon enters the magical cave where wet cats can overpower grown men and effortlessly rape them.
>>99261233>Oh boy, I sure love being a male fighter adventurer! >I think I will venture into The Cave-where-all-physical-damage-is-reduced-to-zero-and-horny-demonesses-prey-on-adventurers-to-get-pregnant>It has an odd name, but surely I won't end up like Shion, who went to the Cave-where-magic-doesn't-work-and-packs-of-rapist-goblins-live
I have a strange fixation with pregnant women. I think they're the pinnacle of beauty.
>>99262584>A woman walking around with objective physical proof of fertility and ability to make a guy cumIt's not that strange, it's in fact very normal and human
>>99263742You don't understand, friend.It's not about proof of fertility or making a guy cum, it's proof of ownership, of a bond, of love. She belongs to someone, she's carrying a tiny life inside her, that's what I find beautiful and I also really like gentle pregnant sex.
>>99262584>>99263742i mainly like the aspect that they're still enthusiastic about providing sexual relief despite the massive debuff, almost eager to get pregnant all over again before she's even finished with the first one
Still thinking of that Dev_Is battle shounen idea. Who of that group would be good white mage/healer types?
>>99268968Lyrica healed with her asmr before
>>99268968Su is a good "Fire emblem" style supporter. Dance and soothing aura.From REGLOSS its a bit weird. IT could be a fun bit with Ao being the healer since she's useless in a real fight
>>99268968I'd make Su the healer for FLOWGLOW, the rest of those girls are too crazy. For ReGloss, Ao is usually the "mom" of the group. >>99269743Kek. You know what I'd be okay with it being Ririka.
>>99270054>the rest of those girls are too crazywhat? noooooo! the unit name "the gentleman perverts" is just performative!I do think Riona has dormant yandere genes with the way she set up that weirdo tunnel for Mori
>>99269994Make Hajime the healer.>There's nothing more badass about protecting your friends.
>>99272386>is a healer>can genocide billions by raising her arms or legs
Fubuki getting bred, haha
>>99261233
I know it's sorta attention-whoreish but I can't seem to move forward with a chapter because I'm worried it'll be shit. I've gotta be careful with how its structured since it'll be so short and I want the climax to have a lot of emotional weight but I need to have some better character moments and I keep coming up short. I really want to hit a home run with this. It doesn't need to be the single greatest story I've ever put to paper or anything, I just want to make sure the meat of it is as good as the ending it's building to.How do you work past that?
>>99270721>spoilerthat's just the average fembeat tbdesu
>>99282410Beta reader feedback
>>99252374>Emotionally abusing them is just scummy.t. the nigger gangrape prompterIt's a bit too late for you to worry about that when you're already the worst kind of disgusting filth
>>99285631t. didnt jerk off to that's the way the fubuki crumbles
>>99282410>since it'll be so short>I keep coming up shortYou keep coming up short because it needs to be longer (especially if it's an Ayame fic)
>>99282410Write another chapter and be done with it.Sometimes you just need to move forward. This can help, >>99285311 but you need to know when to just play with your cards you have and move forward with the story rather than endlessly trying to make a perfect chapter.
What kind of effect does it have on your soul if you write stories about your self-insert drilling oriental demon's manko?
>>99288816Corruption and Moral Degeneration.You should write about sex with human women instead.
>>99288816It delineates the borders between fantasy and reality.
Need Watame childhood friend romance fic
>>99102749Nice art
>>99102799>Non-weeb Anon gets isekai'd>Becomes a competent adventurer very quickly>One day meets Ayame in a forest>Anon immediately thinks she's some kind of evil satanic creature that must be slayed>Defeats Ayame after a long battle and has his sword ready to pierce her heart>Ayame is a pitiful mess; panicking and crying, clothes in tatters>"Die, demon!">"I'm not a demon! I'm an oni!">"What's an oni?">"Well, it means demon in-">"So you are a demon! Die!">"Please! I'm not evil!">This back-and-forth goes for a while >In the end you until you decide to trust her... for now>Although her appearance is extremely suspicious you can't sense any evil in her as you look at her shivering and sobbing>She ends up sticking around and becomes the first member in your party
How are your wips coming along anon?Word count check!
>>99206445>>99202406the "joke" of the story is more that Bateman struggles to have any sense of an identity, and more or less uses violence to assert his personhood
>>99102771Jodorowsky's The Holy Mountain, but vtubers.
>>99296805meant for >>99102799
>>99296805Well, this story is really hit or miss. Since the whole story is basically telling you to go and watch a movie while imagining the cast as vtubers, you thrown into a situation where you're actively watching one piece of media while trying to wedge another in between, and often you might say 'Oh, this character is like Suisei, I can see it.' only for the character to act like Pekora next. It's a unique experience, but I don't think it was well executed. This feels like it should've gone to the prompt anchor and not the story anchor.
>>99285631Niggerrape is patrician-tier taste, though. Nice going revealing how much of a loser you are, bud.
>>99285631It's just that I like my rape to be straight up rape. I like it violent, I like it with kicking screaming and crying.Stuff like hypnosis is just the cowards way out, so are drugs and mindbreak mid-rape. Emotional manipulation also falls in this category for me because the focus is not on the girl's fear or struggle, but on her emotions getting trampled, and that doesn't stick the landing for me. It can be good, but I think it lends itself for other sort of stories. As a main focus, it's basically diet rape. True rapists respect their bitches, they don't pretend to like them.
>>99298106Let's hear it then what exactly gives it a patrician quality. Go on. What's so classy about a gang of nigger thugs raping your favorite chuuba? There's nothing more antisocial than desire for destruction and defilement of beauty by a horde of savages. You're completely and utterly fucked in the head if that's your fantasy.
>>99298326>I like my rape to be straight up rape. I like it violent, I like it with kicking screaming and crying.BASED BASED BASEDWanton, cruel sexual violence used in the act of extracting pleasure from someone else's pain purely to demonstrate the power fantasies of a much lower-status character are incredible.All these retards around here who read rape fics and decry the fact that the heroines are being unfairly hurt, mentally abused and come away mentally traumatized - if they come away at all - completely miss the point and come across as self-righteous dickheads.You're SUPPOSED to feel angry and to feel hurt on behalf of the heroine, but to also take a twisted thrill in the abuse, be it sadistic or masochistic. If you lack the capacity to suspend disbelief long enough to enjoy such a thing, I pity you, because it speaks of a fatal character limitation.
>>99298677t. uni-celled undeveloped fetus
>>99298749Go back to /trash/, subhuman scum
>>99298685>lower-status charactersExactly!This is why ugly bastard is algo great for rape stories, and why stuff like bestiality or blacks also lends itself for it fairly well.Seeing that disgusting creature rip away the clothes of the girl, ripping away her dignity in the act, and proceeding to taint her, that just really, really gets me off.I feel for her, I pity her, but I can't help but get hard as she sobs.
>>99298897wow you're regressing, maybe uni-celled was an overstatementif you're going to shit up the thread at least try to be even remotely entertaining
>>99298899>Seeing that disgusting creature rip away the clothes of the girl, ripping away her dignity in the act, and proceeding to taint her, that just really, really gets me off.100%. An expert writer will be explicit in details from both sides - the twisted smile of the rapist as he visits disgusting fantasies upon his unwilling victim, and the shrill wailing of the abused as the last vestiges of her dignity are stripped away in another act sure to leave mental scars - allowing you to experience both sides, effectively pulling double duty.
>>99298677Funny that the post that came right after yours happened to be just the right reply.
>>99298899>>99298685>>99299462...These sound equally applicable for NTR fics too, and not the softer netorase kind, actual hard NTR.
>>99300470In the sense of push and pull degradation, sure, but they scratch two entirely different itches. Not knocking anybody for liking it it, of course, but personally NTR doesn't do anything for me.
>>99299711And the argument is just MUH SHOCK VALUE! Soulless and boring. Edgelords always turn out to be just really uninteresting people.
>>99300827I personally do not get any enjoyment out of full on rape or NTR, but to say that it all hinges on shock value is just plain not true. Some works try to crutch on that idea to make something as shocking or unsettling as possible to capture readers, hell there's an entire genre within the romance fantasy space right now that mostly delivers on that. Like with any topic or genre though, it can be done in a way that immerses readers and is an overall fulfilling experience.
>>99300827I see, you're just here to be smug about your preconceived notions. Or to troll.
>>99300827t. the guy who always asks for plain cheese when the boys are doing a pizza run
>>99301107That's rich coming from the guy whose prompts are just FUBUKI GETS RAPED BY NIGGERS xDDDDDFuck off
>>99301196Where the fuck is this even coming from? Are you just fighting ghosts in your head right now anon?
>>99301196>reductio ad absurdumswell argument right here lads
>>99301231See>>90087614 >>97643336
>>99301196I don't like those prompts.
>>99301373>two shitpost prompts, one nearly a half year old, sits in this anon's mind rent-free to the point he accuses random people of being behind themGet help
>>99301582See >>99252374>I'm that guy actually, If you're not the anon who made that post then disregard my earlier post.
>>99301725 (me)>sits in this anon's mind rent-free And I was reminded of the whole thing because of these two posts>>99251950>>99252374I wouldn't have brought it up unprompted
>>99293533>end up with a whole party of non-evil demons that you beat and recruited
>>99301725>>99301893Huh. Shitpost prompts like that go in and out of my mind with all the staying power of a fart in the wind so it's weird to me that it stays with you, but then again, grudgeposting is pretty based.This whole debate really isn't worth the headspace so I'm gone. Later, nerds.
>>99302078I don't remember everyone who I pass by on the streets but I do remember the guy who takes a massive shit in front of everyone in public
>>99282410Great image, she's so cute when she's angy
>>99302062That sounds like it builds up to a gag ending where you continually keep recruiting evil demon women, each more evil than the last until the end where you get up to someone completely non-threatening/repentant like Nerissa and just break the pattern by fucking killing her.
>>99282410Maybe it would help to think of your ending and how you're currently beating your meat to edge you to it. Like what does the climax need to reach its peak? From there decide how much meat beating you need prior to it.
>>99301102This is specifically about the continuous shitposting about niggers gangraping a specific chuuba. There's nothing to it but shock value. Self-insert anon gets rapey? Not my thing, but this is 4chan so I'll look the other way. Race cucks being obnoxious faggots? Absolutely zero tolerance for that shit.
eh, i kinda get itwell not so much blatant cheating and rape, but i get that there's a certain thrill of negative emotionsfor me its femdom, i usually like it to be easygoing and even comforting, but some stories i read can really twist the knifeit kinda evokes the same feeling as romantic tension and uncertainty, just that the girl is deliberately causing you to suffer
>>99303216I get it, but at the same time, it's not worth getting upset about. Not like any of the people who are into it or are prompting for it will write it anyway. Giving someone else that shiny new (You) instead.
NTR is only hot from the girl's POV, and during the period before she falls completely. Once she falls completely, it becomes boring. I'm not there to see a disgusting slut act like a degenerate, I'm there to get off to the justifications she uses to allow it "just this once" or other such things. The conflicted feelings, lust overtaking reason, and comparisons to her bf/hubby for that brief period is what I like. But once she stops caring and is all gung ho about it, it's lost all appeal.
>>99304603We should have a fic like that but repacked for our tastes.A second person reader insert where you get gradually corrupted by (Kemono/Elf/Human) pussy and slowly loose your morals as you continually cheat on your (Insert appropriate cuckquean type here) girlfriend/wife.
>>99303626That's reasonable. For a moment there I was close to losing my hope in this place.
>>99302431My man, there are things worth getting mad over. This isn't one of them.
>>99303403I love that shit. What have you read that checks those boxes? I can only think of SD
>>99306519I disagree, see >>99303216But let's leave it at that. Everyone here has already said their piece and seem tired of this topic.
For me? Heh, you already know. Tender sex while being in a monogamous relationship with a woman who is in love with me as I am with her.
>>99308583I salute a fellow man of loyalty and righteousness
>>99295647I don't have a WIP I'm really working on at the moment...there's too many ideas and not enough willpower
Being penpals with notorious criminal Shiori Novella!Getting a letter about how she missed writing someone!Getting another letter about how she's glad she finally has a friend!Getting another letter about how much she wants go see you!Faking your own death to stop getting letters!Getting another letter!Getting another letter!Getting your mailbox stuffed with letters upon letters!The letters stop!Turning on the 11 PM news!"The Archiver has escaped from the maximum security prison, leading a wake of devastation in her wake."Hearing a knock on the door!
>>99303626I dont have a horse in this race but all Im gonna say is that Im not American enough to think about niggers even as a joke/shitpost
>>99310418>Wake up tied to bed>Shiori is foaming at the mouth>She walks in, puts on her glasses>Turns on a proyector>"Okay! So, as I told you on the letter I sent on the 27th at 13:56, antibiotics have quite the interesting history!">A fucking 257 slide powerpoint presentation
>>99102771Finished a Maid Kronii manipulating a young anon story. It's long as shit and takes a bit to get going. I tried to squeeze in alot, so it might not be what you expect. tags: Kronii, Abusive Chuuba, Manipulation, NSFW, https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vR5a425YUxRDqi45qinLTDVzlyuLE4R_if8PdfdFaPs9PPc_GoQgzh4XXkDkdkPg0cw24oEb-h_doQ3/pub
>>99295647Coming back to a wip after a long time is rough.
>>99102799Gigi munches on your cumsock.
>>99311261I like your formatting style and prose. The topic of the fic doesn't really good much for me, but I think your build up and execution was pretty good. Mad props for delivering.
>>99311261Ill admit that halfway through it i was going>man, this is good but scorecreep is settling in on real timebut you managed to tie it all together last second and left me satisfied.However i feel like you accidentally "dated it". Basically, without the context of the recent discussions about Maidronii...your fics feels a bit schizophrenic specially the FWMC+Bae bit. Its nothing that cant be fixed with some minor words here and there like "at school we learned there was a war" and some clearing up in sections where it gets confusing.Still, great job. It was a fun read
Speaking of maids, we should get back to the lewd maid AU. (The premise is chuubas are maids in a mansion and are subject to harassment and corporal punishments, but there's a bunch of limitations and legal loopholes to abuse and circumvent). Character concepts:- the very serious and prim maid that's above this bullshit- the maid that takes her job very seriously and will accept anything as a punishment for doing it incorrectly- the nympho that lives to be harassed by the master/guests- the incompetent, clumsy idiot- the shitty brat that's good at her job but needs correction on account of being rude- the masochist that intentionally screws up to get punishedWho would you suggest as candidates for these? Do you have other archetype ideas?
>>99318454I wouldn't include (male) guests being in on the action, that takes away from the fantasy.
>>99310418>>99310919>One day, bored out of your mind, you hear from one of the locals about the penpals service>in this day and age? penpals?>boy how exciting!>write. Get an answer and hit it off with your friend Miss Shiori Novella>God she's such a fascinating person! Always with something to talk about. You two discuss some of the most fabulous intellectual themes ever on top of your humble life in your farm>Its a shame she's in prison. Never said why, but you dont judge people like that. Olga, the nice lady, had to spend a night in the sheriff's office after the gas pump incident>Until one day, the door to your house is cracked open>"Hello Anon">DEAR GOD! She might be a terrible person after all! She's here to murderfuck you!>"I was thinking more the second part yknow, i spent ten years in the joint. It gets tiring to be prison-gay">TEN YEARS?! I THOUGHT IT WAS A WEEK!>"Anyway im here to help you. Come on lets go">What?>"oh yeah you mentioned not watching tv. here lets go to the town">Shiori Novella escaping is just the first step into the rampage of this new eco-terrorist!>He claims to be named Anon. He holds authority in contempt, does not own any phones or tvs or anything that can be traced to him.>In his correspondence with known terrorist Novella, he talks about his revolutionary manifestos and anti-bourgeois claims. The radical youth parades his bone chilling commentary like "A good day starts with a pig butchered and his minced meat stuffed right into the organs, we have fingers so we can make sausages">"See? they say a lot of stuff about you in tv. Its all fucked up, i know you didnt">Oh god....they are liying about both of you!>"no i actually did all of that stuff">and now...they are out to get you!Coming to select threads this summer: Shiori Novella stars in "My psycho penpal days: how i spend my days running from the police with a cute criminal that has some very heated thoughts about the french"
>>99318917I'd stick to "male guests exist but are never shown, female guests show up", in part because I want the guests to be chubas as well.
>>99318454>Kronii>Suisei>Ollie>Raora>Shion/Kobo i guess. >ZetaHonestly i wouldnt include a "brat" maid. Id change that for a newbie that's still settling in so she's obviously biting back or complaining but isnt full on antagonisticm. Personally i dont get those anime maids that hate their job/dont act like a maid. At that point its just a character cosplaying.A clumsy maid also being TOO clumsy is also dumb in my eyes. Its fine if she trips and shows her ass or she accidentally bumps into stuff but when they are full on useless i get annoyed.
>>99320577>Personally i dont get those anime maids that hate their job/dont act like a maid. At that point its just a character cosplayingI think the idea and appeal of those characters is that they often don't like it at first until they meet (you) since those types are often the tsundere/kuudere types
>>99318917Honestly, male guests would only work if this WASN'T effectively a Lewd Maid Harem thing and was just a free use maid thing. It might cause issues were this for a more serious concept but you can probably excuse the fantasy by making some excuse like this world having a messed up gender ratio or norms.>>99318454Here's a couple of ideas for extra maid concepts>The one who gets "corrupted" into itMaid who starts proper but slowly and willingly starts "cutting her skirt" because she finds out how erotic being maid in this mansion is.>The Pure OneBy sheer coincidence, someone so pure that even the master finds themself acting proper to keep her innocence. AKA the maid that doesn't even realize this is a Lewd sex mansion.>Ao-kunOkay but imagine a cool boyish maid that the other maids find cool who also lewldy serves their master....Also I think the lewd maid au would benefit from having at least a good "wife" position girl who complements/contrasts how the master is characterized as, by which I mean it would probably be prudent to pick one chuuba to be the wife just like in the origins for this lewd maid au.
>>99296683It's pretty much what I was going for with Kronii in this "specific piece of media but with chuubas" type of fic I wrote but it was executed in a way how most normies view the film's version of him.
Writing is fun. :)
>>99306659I don't think shameful desires really fits that unless you're referring to Anon effectively being the Dom despite also being the cuck who forces Chloe to fuck other men for his sexual desires.
I’m sharking it I’m sharking it I’m sharking it I’m sharking it
>>99325731This is how I find out Gura is graduating?
>>99325863Dude fuck off you gave me a heart attack
Hi everyone. Here's a WIP of Shiori being a writer for a TV show with other Holos showing up. What do you guys think? https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTL6I91gfVC9HH9RjwQ0zKJbpM3XJevhttG4vCmurnCmbi2RRV6LitdvKDf3JD9jiDGcOyVK1ZvHdHy/pub
>>99311261This was great, a few little grammatical errors here and there, but the slow escalation flowed well and I loved Kronii's teasing. {And the subtle femdom hints sprinkled throughout was hot as fuck
>>99329285It's interesting enough that I'd read more but as a comedy fic it hasn't really set up any good gags, just a bunch of light jabs that set up a "comedic atmosphere" but not anything that's really haha funny.Like to pick a singular joke, the Atlantis/Atlanta confusion feels like it could have been a good gag but lacks the comedic timing/execution to really make it pop.Another one I noticed was the cookies gag, felt like that tried to keep the "form" of the prose too solid and didn't really allow for the gag of>COOKIES!that a bunch of takodachis shouting it out and interrupting everything should have felt.
>>99331150Thank you for the feedback, anon. I feel that the reason why the jokes don't pop is because of the way I wrote the fic. It was pretty much me writing whatever came to mind so I guess that will make the jokes not have the set-up and payoff that they need. Also thanks for the prose tip I'll definitely keep that in mind. Do you have any tips for writing gags/ jokes? You made me realize that I can really improve in that area.However, I can infer/know from what you pointed out that jokes need a set-up and punchline. I think I'm okay at setting up the joke which is why you get a "comedic atmosphere", but I think where I really struggle is the punchline to make someone laugh.
>>99317914I get what you mean. Trying to mix as much shit as I did definitely made it messy as I kept writing, I could tell it felt all over the place at times, but I entered a "sunk-cost" type of idea while writing so I just trucked on through it. Happy you and others seem to like it.
>>99310418this feels like if Shiori had magic powers related to writing and ink and used the letters to escape (The guards have her bound and blindfolded while they orate the message to her [They don't know that she's been subtly manipulating anon into using a special type of ink that seeps into the skin through touch, very gradually building in the guard's body until he goes in the cell for a routine inspectation and has it violently ripped out of him])
>>99333270This scenario a Shiori with ink/writing powers makes me think of a certain, uh, game where a girl writes on a guy's arm with magic ink and whatever she writes about him becomes true. (i.e. if Shiori wrote you were left handed, you would become left handed)
>>99333270>>99334065i dont think ill write this so have the idea for free>Anon the Knight and Shiori the Nun fall in love. >Meeting each other in secret, since Anon is to marry into nobility and she's a nun>Anon gets super AIDS. Shiori starts to frantically scour every single source for a cure>She pretty much breaks every taboo. Anon says fuck it and tells her to run away with him>They get chased for being a deserter and a criminal. They spend some years enjoying their time together but ultimately Anon dies. Shiori never found the cure >But she found something else. She found a spell to cheat death>The souls of a thousand Sinners. The entire kingdom is offered to the raw currents of Magic >All to tie them to one single soul to this realmA story where your body is gone, turned into a disgusting ink fused to parts of cold armor forged in the souls of the damnet, yet despite all the death,sickness,despair and pestilence Shiori has unleashed on earth, you still love her
>>99334821>Shiori doesn't talk as much as she used to>You remember those nights, back before the two of you left the city, where you'd hold hands and let the young nun just talk and talk and talk>Everything from the people she saw in the market to how bread mould can have medicinal properties to what the old cardinal of her church liked for dinner>Your worries and paranoia over the illicit nature of your blooming relationship would melt away whenever your paramour would open her mouth>Those talks aren't as frequent anymore, and regrettably there's no shortage of reasons as to why>Could it be your hands? The inky black fluid can only approximate you, filling a shape but offering none of the familiar feel of her lover's hand. No warmth, no comfort, no small feeling that you're still...you>Could it be your voice? You never interjected much, but she always seemed so happy to hear you when you did. Your curiosity and eagerness to uncover more of her thoughts, it surely leaked into your tone. Now though, it's the overlapping echo of a dozen dead voices. A choir of the eternally tormented, forced to speak words that have no meaning to them.>Could it be your mind? If you aren't focused, a slow tide of memories that aren't yours creep it's way in. You're never gone, so long as you focus on your dear Shiori you can't go, but she's surely noticed a lack of attentiveness that you used to have.>Could it be...>...>That she just doesn't love you how she used to? That the man she once cherished isn't here anymore, and the suit of armour full of ink is just a reminder of that? A walking metal gravestone, constantly reminding her of what she's lost? >What you've lost?>You haven't lost anything you weren't okay with letting go, and everything that's been sacrificed is something you'd have given up for a one more day with Shiori, never mind how many days are still ahead of you>Magic is less taboo in the east, and a woman walking with a suit of animated armour isn't something that would give many people pause there, so long as you kept quiet nobody could really tell that you're more than just metal in the shape of a knight>You just hope Shiori will talk more once you get there
>>99336781>"Do you hate me?">In the middle of the night, she asks>A hudred voices scream "YES">Another hundreds scream profanities>A thousand curse her name>and yet,over it, only one imposes>"No">Its like a gargled whisper, leaking out of the banged helmet. A single solitary yellowish eye trains on the unnaturally pale Nun>"I would never hate you">Tears form in her eyes>"Im Sorry...Im so Sorry">"I know"
>>99334065Uwaa... Shiori with the hentai marker powers to make Anon her perfect man.
>>99337788Its a melancholic/sad prompt but i like to imagine it could have some heartwarming moments>Shiori feels like shit because she feels like she no longer can touch you>Your body goes in "goo" mode and envelops her. It looks like shes being digested alive by s slime or something >Shiori chuckles and cheers up. She tells you that you always gave her the best hugs
>>99102771>>99102799>be anon>sleep over at your friend's house>be used to her mannerisms>now comes the time to sleep>she insists on sleeping on the same bed>gives you the dreamworks face>suddenly talking turtle"no.">she sleeps on the floor and pouts at the turtle>get to lie on her bed>feel weird that the turtle is her dad.>turn over>see friend asleep>the ass was fat.jpgwat do?
>>99339403I’m tired, so my thoughts include1. Give her a wedgie2. Fall asleep3. Koopa stomp
Baker doko?
