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>>5724724
>how have yall been doing recently?
i dunno what i'm gonna do
what am i gonna DO
i might be homeless if things go just right
everyone said i wouldn't be homeless, they didn't believe in me
don't let your dreams be dreams, prove the haters wrong

>>5724724
>how have yall been doing recently
Gonna be the 1 year anniversary of my fathers death at the start of next month. This time last year is when he got really bad health wise and I was caring for him. Can't stop thinking about him, that month or seeing him in the hospital bed, unconscious and dying. I just do nothing but cry all day lately and think about suicide. This past year has been hell and I don't know what to do if it continues like this. I also have other shit in my life going wrong, like my teeth literally falling apart due to shitty genetics I got from, oddly enough, my dad who was in dentures by his 30s. Seems I'm just following in his footsteps in that regard. I'm actually really scared with these suicidal feelings and thoughts I've been having. Sorry, just need to vent I guess.

>>5725011
good luck

>>5724724
I honestly forgot the election is in less than 24 hours until you reminded me
Kek
Another nothingburger so really just same old same old

>>5725011
Hope you feel better for venting

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>>5724724
this girl led me on for a month saying she really liked me and today she said we should just be friends. and that was the only thing i had going for me in life, and now im back to feeling suicidal all the time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCeeTfsm8bk

>>5725011
*farts on you*

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>>5725081
>this girl led me on for a month saying she really liked me
You either never made a move (kissing her, going for the bra) or she never intended to fuck you anyway. When a woman likes a guy all he has to do is try to fuck her and its game on.

Go find a .pdf of "Book of Pook", it saved my life.
Its a series of posts from a guy who spent shitloads of time on pick up artist forums and came to realize "PUA theory" is silly in many aspects and that it took redpills and covered them in glitter and performative nonsense. His entire post history is him slowly dissolving away the shit to find the redpill at the core and coming to understand women in the ways our great grandfather's did. He also learned that a lot of PUA theory is just bitter virgins angry at women and that rage leaking out in daily interactions. I read it when I was a 28 yr old virgin thanks to some random anon on atechins. Within a year I was actively dating and at 32 I got married. You can do it, anon.

>>5725111
fuck off retard

>>5725103
>>5725115
>hava nagila plays in the background

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>>5724724
>how have yall been doing recently?
I feel weird. Thanks to therapy I feel like I slowly get my identity back. I'm no longer a mannequin pretending to be a human who is capable of human like responses.
Memories are no longer these numb snippets of someone I apparently was, but they are mine now. I can feel connection to that person. I can recall my feelings I had back then.

>>5724724
I am considering suicide due to my horrible OCD. If anybody here ever beat OCD (the terrible spiraling thoughts kind, not the organization kind) please tell me how

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I've been consuming VNs like SnootGame and Wani since I was never good with being intimate with women. Now I have no feelings towards 2D roasties and only crave the love and feel of anthropomorphic dino girls. I cannot tell this to my therapist or she'll try to put me on retard numbing pills or some shit

>>5724727
I need the original version of this. I thought I had it saved

>>5725321
When my therapist asked me what game I was playing till 2 AM and when I told her it was "Living with sister: A monochrome fantasy".
She was asking more questions what about I found it so appealing to keep playing it into late hours.
As awkward it was to talk about it and at point she made a disgusted face when saying the word "sister" in sexual context. It didn't impact much our relationship.

If you don't spergout about fantasizing wanting to fuck alt high schoolers as an adult you should be fine

>>5724724
Does anyone have the Ana de Armas webm? The one where she says "let's Go get some hot dogs"

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>>5724724
in some ways i have been doing well. i am working towards some IT certs and going through my masters program. my parents are supportive of me, i want to make them proud. they have done so much for me.
on the other hand, i have been also not doing well. it is like there is a cloud hanging over my head, i am trying to shake it.

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>>5724724
Shitty. Really shitty. Depression is only getting worse as I get older. Tried to offset it a bit with giving myself a goal of buying a gun I've wanted for more than a decade now which made me happy for a day or two. Problem is there's so much going on that just makes it hard to not regularly be in a state of despair even with that little light I can actually reach down the road waiting for me. Can't really talk about my depression except anonymously because if people find out how depressed I really am and how long I've been like this they'll do the worst thing they can and try to "help". That "help" has a track record of just making things worse. Imagine the sort of "help" you'd get if you admitted the thing you've prayed for the most in your life by a wide margin is death.

On top of that a friend of mine who doesn't understand depression finally got a real taste of it for himself and started trauma dumping on me every time I see him. He just winds himself up more and more to the point where it's giving him awful headaches and panic attacks. Makes it much harder for me to hold the line and keep my own dark thoughts at bay.

The election is a worry to me but I've got plans either way. What happens will happen and there's not much I can do about it in regards to that.

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>>5725411
I have this one, although I'm not sure what the "original version" is desu so I'm just throwing this one out there

>>5725461
I hear ya. I’m sorry.
>trauma dump
This so much this. “Hey anon I know you’re a sad piece of shit let me make you sadder by unloading all my bullshit on you that you can’t fix… don’t worry it pales in comparison but you won’t be able to say that!”

>>5725011
I have been having sad thoughts too. I dont know about life right now but I want you to know we are here with you. Even if you come and go anons are here. I hope you make it.

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I'm only 20 y/o and I can't take it anymore. I'm thinking of just living in the woods and going full ted-mode. I tried finding joy in material things but I feel even worse now. got my first car a month ago but I don't feel anything, only more bills and driving through a overcrowded city maybe. I wake up everyday and want to kill myself, but I have to drag myself to work and count minutes until the shift ends. I would gladly be a neet but my parents would kick me out, so I do a job I hate. I never had a "dream job" or shit like that. should I just save money and build a hut somewhere in the woods? can't even do that because of German law lol

>>5724724
Op is a faggot.

>>5725801
what kind of faggot newfag would download this and swap the music and call it "feels"?
nigger this is so retarded. If you harmonize with furry insanity fucking ack yourself.

>>>5725011
Please don't end your life mate, you will smile again and you will get there.

My father was diagnosed with a brain tumour last year and now he's also been diagnosed with bladder cancer, they can't operate due to him being so old and frail, we're now waiting for a palliative care assessment to make him comfortable. He lives with me and I work full time to pay the bills, I care for him when I'm at home.
I don't want him to die, I feel absolutely helpless and I'm crying as I'm writing this, I'm 36 and never thought he'd go this way.

I know when the inevitable happens, I've done all I can for him, just know that your dad is proud of you and thankful that you cared for him and you love him.

>>5725011
>>5726311
Be glad that, at least, you guys had good fathers/parents. Having shitty parents hurts a lot... never felt as lonely as I feel now because of them.

>>5725166
I get the feeling, Mr. Anon. I had it pretty horribly (perhaps not as bad but who knows). I don't really know how to help you out as consciously trying to ignore the thoughts helped (started with the small things rather than the larger triggers), but I can say that it's definitely possible for you to recover. It might take time, but it definitely doesn't have to last a lifetime. Hope you're able to get through it, Mr. Anon. OCD is truly way worse than people think it is.

>>5725166
Medication can help. It sucks because it's all like 'try this for 6 weeks and let see if it works.' Plus it's hard to find a good psychiatrist. They all have waiting lists, and none of them take insurance. But it's worth doing it because it doesn't always have to be as bad as it is now. You also have to do all the conative behavioral therapy stuff and all the lifestyle stuff, and the meditation. It all works together.

I remember my doctor talking about how whatever medication could sometimes cause seizures and to stop taking it immediately if I had one. I thought to myself, "If you think having a seizure would dissuade me from taking something that might help, I have failed to adequately express the magnitude of my dissatisfaction with the status quo." I also remember deciding not to actually say it because I figured he might not let me try it if I did. The moral of the story is that that conversation was almost 25 years ago now, and I'm fine.

>>5725801
KEEEEEK LOST HARD

>>5724726
Sauce?

>>5725166
Big dose of a psychedelic if you want a quick result. I recommend a wilderness setting and a trip sitter if you can get one. But if you're suicidal you might get some benefit from doing it alone and just testing yourself against reality, see if you survive. There's clinics that do it SLOWLY and LEGALLY, if that's your preference, but the strength of psychedelics is that they remove you from your usual mental mantras and let you look at them from a clinical distance, which is better done in one big burst than as a chronic treatment. There was a thread on /r9k/ about drugs last time I browsed, maybe check there, I haven't had to hook the stuff up in decades so I don't know anymore.

Other than that all I can say is that remember you die in the end anyway, so suicide is kinda pointless, you might as well see how it goes. That was the choice I made. Best of luck.

>>5726174
The feeling of yearning is natural, it's telling you that something is missing. One thing I've learned as an old fuck is that when you get a feeling it's generally telling you something important, so don't push it down, lean into it. I'm not sure what specifically you should do other than status quo probably isn't it.

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>>5725451
Not this one?

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i didnt hear no bell anons, get up
also anyone got the gurren lagann indomitable human spirit webm?

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>>5728059

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>>5728061
whatever found it

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>>5728059
i know some of you really enjoy the webm with demiurge so i come here to post it when i feel fine. please do engrave it in your minds and think back to it whenever you're feeling down. i suppose most of us are going through a cycle of mania (or a feeling of slight hope or happiness, whatever) and depression so i wanted to remind you that as long as we're standing, we are all going to make it, even if we have to make it through hell. don't give up and stay safe

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>>5725011
I've been through a similar phase of watching dad slowly die in the hospital bed 7 years ago. I'm afraid I have no advice to give you since I haven't been able to get over it myself. I know it feels terrible but refrain from killing yourself. We might be scarred for the rest of our lives and might not fully recover, and I hate to admit but it DOES hurt to try sometimes, believing that you will be "fixed" this time only to end up disappointed, back where you started. However you should keep in mind that we only get one shot at life and we should make the most of it with what we got. Keep moving forward and exhaust every option. It's great that you have decided not to bottle it up. Please come here to vent sometimes or maybe if you want to keep talking about stuff? I'll try to keep an eye out

>>5727583
The 400 Blows (1959), François Truffaut

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>>5728059
fuck that guy!

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As much as I've enjoyed salt mining, It's time to get serious. I need to lose weight so I can join the army. Yea, it's going to be shit and I'll likely die somewhere in the middle east. But it's my choice and I choose to die that way. Even if it's from an IED I'll never see. Every day I'm there I'll act as my last day on earth. And that's a comfort I'll enjoy until I do die.

>>5724960
congrats anon

>>5725942
God damn you're a faggot

>>5727810
No, it was black and white and it was in an urban setting but thanks for trying bro.

>>5728617
Delusions aren't helping you cope.
No one sees combat. You're more likely to win the lottery.

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Reposting a classic
>>5728059
Based

>>5724724
did not like joker 2

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>>5725081
I feel you
Though in my case, I never expressed my feelings to her because I was scared of getting rejected (never asked anyone out before) and kept delaying it. Before I noticed 4 years passed and she's engaged now. I hate being a passive faggot. I had so many chances to say something but I just didn't. I try really hard to forget about it but I really can't. I'll just try and get back into university so I feel like my life has purpose again. Otherwise I will shoot myself the first minute I can

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>Went to join the military
>Got denied for medical reasons
>Have friend
>Fall out with friend quite severely
>Some years past
>He's now in the military
>Just found out he's got a kid now
He was an ass, I'm happy for him. But damn, my life went off a cliff. Looking at his life feels like looking at what my life could have been. Just tired, it's never ending.
>Have two parents
>luckyIguess.jpeg
>Dad beats my mum
>Constant fights and arguing
>House filled with tension
>Mum uses me as an emotional vice
>Brother uses me as a punching bag
>Become a withdrawn kid but still try and push through school
>Get sexually assaulted as a kid by an older kid
>Never tell anyone
>Could never tell my mum it would break her
This one, I still don't how to feel about. Indifference I guess, sometimes disgust. I had so much else going at the time, this felt insignificant.
>Constantly try to numb how I feel
>Gaming
>Start watching Pornography at 10
>Rarely go a day without masturbating
When I was younger it didn't seem to matter, but now I'm in my twenties it feels impossible to stop.
>Luck out and get a GF at 16
>She's not a virgin
>Bothers me but try and see it through
>Have to see her ex at school now
>After a year I can't take it anymore and break up with her
>Last thing she said was that she didn't want to leave me with this family
She really did care about me, but being with her felt horrible at this point. It feels like everything good comes with a massive price to pay.
>Fall out with friend
>At this point I apply for the military
>Get denied
>I mentally break
>Everything catches up with me
>Realise I'm mentally fucked
Of course in the end everything went to shit when I got denied, that was my ticket out. I just felt so unlucky, and so tired. Started drinking heavily for the past few years, stopped that for now, trying to work towards going to university.

>>5725092
I like it but I've seen this done much better
https://youtu.be/e9dZQelULDk?si=SDUVg8xOmUXPWADu

>>5724724
>my life is a comedy
Yeah it was hilarious when he got his asshole shredded in prison.

>>5724724
I don't know how I feel anymore. A few years ago I was at my all time peak in terms of depression. I had lost all my friends, wouldnt open up to my family much, skipped all my classes, grades went to shit and i would constantly go out and drink alone (got so bad that I almost crashed my car while i was blackout drunk at one point) while being almost physically unable to get out of bed some days. It felt like the only emotion I could muster was this deep and irreversible sadness, and that everything i did was just completely pointless, so why even bother.
i still have some problems now. my college grades are better and im getting work done, still skipping classes though. I'm talking a lot more with most of my family member, but I still havent got any real close friends. I'm not completely socially inept like i was a few years ago, i can hold a conversation with strangers well and get along well with people. I dont push for connections, maybe out of fear that theyll just turn and leave me like my old """friends"" did. I do still want friends and a GF, but I recognise now that I need to focus on my own hapinness and mental wellbeing before I can start worrying on others.
My biggest issue is that I cant seem to find a way to be truly happy and content. Thats not to say im sad, especially not to degree i was before, and when I do get sad I have the mental strength to bring my head up from the gutters, but I dont feel real joy. Its like this meddling feeling that I cant quite put in words. A dissatisfaction with the way things are, or maybe for how they have been for years.

>>5731837
cont.
For some reason I've also started reflecting on mortality a lot, and the legacy you leave behind to those around. Specifically in regards to my grandparents (mothers side). They both died years ago, one from lung cancer and another from bladder failure (one was a smoker, other a heavy drinker). I keep thinking about how me and my older brother have this perception of them being kind, loving figures, who would never hurt a fly, while my mother and her brothers at best have mixed memories of her and at worst despise them. and then theres my little brother, who doesnt even remember them. It scares me how quick they are fading from my memory. 4 years ago I could remember both their smiles like the back of my hand, remember the exact amount of lines on their face, and now I can only just remember their voice. if they were forgotten this quickly, why would I be remembered any longer?
Ive also recently started to believe more in religion nowadays also, im not sure if its connected to my emotions, but I feel a little better knowing that there is someone out there beyond all this bullshit that truly cares for us.

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>>5724724

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>>5731871

>>5725321
>>5725423
get your shit together anons

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>>5725461
>Tried to offset it a bit with giving myself a goal of buying a gun I've wanted for more than a decade now which made me happy for a day or two. Problem is there's so much going on that just makes it hard to not regularly be in a state of despair even with that little light I can actually reach down the road waiting for me.
and,

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>>5725461
this too

>>5725081
This happened to me twice within the last year. I don't really understand the point of it, but it seems to happen a lot.

>>5730708
>When I was younger it didn't seem to matter, but now I'm in my twenties it feels impossible to stop.
started at 11 with a friend of mine who showed me lew channels at night
months later we got the internet and boom, i've been a regular weekly gooner for 15 years
tried not nut november few years ago, made me go through hell
tried to "train" during the year to be ready for the next november, my maximum was 2 months straight because i kept relapsing
trainned again the next year and found out i could "suppress" the urge by fapping without watching anything, it worked wonders to help me space out the fap sessions
getting a more regular sleep schedule and working out at home also helped massively
my current streak is 3 years
we're all gonna make it

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>>5724724
I've been better. I've been living with my family for a few months. Just found an alright job which I'll be starting on Thursday. I'm hoping to get back on my feet within the next year, but depression and FOMO are kicking my ass rn.

>>5725321
this real?
more info?

>>5725451
>>5730239
here u go anon, waited a long-ass 15 minutes to post

>>5730454
absolute gem, never gets old

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>>5725451
>>5730239
>>5733325
forgot to attach lol

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>>5724724
Finished 2 years of education to find the industry on fire and no jobs for entry level shit, school i was with going down in flames due to shit management. Money's running low, meds running low. Feels like i took my final shot and missed, and now it's just a decline. It ain't great.
Dunno what webm I'm posting either, hope it ain't porn.

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>>5724724

>>5733327
That's the one, thanks anon

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>>5724724
Hatred and Depressed
When I'm not full of rage at the rest of the world, I internalize my hatred towards myself with long episodes of depression and vice versa. I haven't gone outside in months since I can order groceries and have it delivered. I have no interest in interacting with people or society as a whole. I'm only interested in inflicting suffering and hoping for more mass unrest and destruction. I want everyone and everything to feel as shitty as I do.

>>5725081
>that was the only thing i had going for me in life
And you expected her to want to anchor herself to you despite that? Other people won't and can't supply you with happiness and purpose. You have to discover those things for yourself.

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>>5724724
today is my birthday

>>5725321
have you played katawa shoujo yet

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>>5724724
Living the dream anon. I feel like I'm invincible.

I feel like I can't fail in my job. Even when I sandbag something on purpose, I get what I want (someone else gets the responsibility). I've been with my company for twenty years, and I can use that to get my way with any kind of dispute. Of course I try to avoid them cause that's how I operate. Also, I'm getting paid to travel to the home office just to attend the Christmas party and hang out.

I've been married to a wonderful woman for 17 years. I have a lovely little house on a plot of forest in the mountains. I disconnected from globohomo social media and Jewish television years ago, and I spend my nights reading or chatting with friends, maybe watching a little anime or doing some programming.

I work out daily, go hiking and camping on the weekends, and no matter how much liquor I drink it never seems to affect my health.

And all I can do is sit here wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. When is the economy going to tank? When is my liver going to explode? When is the internet going to get irrevocably pozzed? Anxiety eats me alive some days.

Who knows? I'm enjoying the ride, and if it all ends tomorrow, I had a good run.

>>5734393
Happy birfday fren!

>>5734393
Happy Belated Birthday, Anon!

>>5734082
Where is this from?

>>5725321
He got the official Andy Styxx LogDoll(TM) he had a good life.

Anyone got the George Constanza compilation one where he talks about wanting to be normal and wanting to have no hope left and so on?

>>5735347
it's in the other thread "Post you your best" that turned into a mostly feels thread.
>>5731099

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>>5726174
I'm in the same boat anon, 22 y/o now and been feeling like this for the past 2-3 years. I don't have any advice for you lol but it's nice to know I'm not the only one. I often daydream about going off into the great unknown, setting up a hut and living alone with no human contact. Just wish I had the guts to actually do it, but I'm more of a dreamer than a doer

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OC I made last night. Stay safe and never give up bros.

>>5735361
Thanks man, that was the one. Always makes me laugh.

>>5724724
I feel like this board, and 4chan in general, is full of zoomershit retards, with whom I have nothing in common, not in worldview, nor in outlook on live. I hate most of your posts, your opinions, and your cringy webms. I do not think myself unique, smart, or mentally ill, but wow, I have never felt more detached from the human experience.

>>5730308
i wish I had this level of connection with a woman.

>>5735906
It's alienation. You can migrate to Sushichan or Endchan, etc. I don't know what to tell you.

>>5736196
Actually fuck that comfy filth move to Lainchan

>>5725081
BPD demons, boy I've been there

>>5734193
why?

>>5724724
must be tuff feeling like a future rape victim OP but don't worry no one is into your flat man bussy

>>5728068
>can i borrow your lighter bro
>yeah sure
>hey this lighter doesn't work
>oh it just needs a little bit of help
>why not just give me the lighter that works?

>>5728059
it's so hard anons. I'm 35, had a wife. I joined the military because we were broke. She cheated on me while I was on deployment. I was so emotionally dead from deployment I didn't care. She got pregnant, and I promised to help raise the boy. Things were better for a time, and she slowly got more and more distant until she moved out. I love that kid so much. He is two, calls me dad, and loves me so much I have to keep him from running into traffic to get to me. I still love her too. I have slowly drifted from friends and family because I'm embarrassed and have protected her from all the criticism. I'm so lonely. She says she wants to move back so we can be a family again but I don't know if I believe her. I've kept his room and her stuff ready.

I'm so alone. There's no real way out. I put myself here and I think I'll suffer until I die.

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Near constant imposter syndrome. Finally got accepted for a apprentice mechanic at 24, waiting on a offer for a dealer in my area. I don't feel like I deserve or is able to do this despite my training and know a lot but it feels like nothing will work out the way I want it to.

Also side note but does have that video of Sam Hyde talking about how he desperately wants to return to playing Fallout 1 and 2 like he was a kid? Got wiped off of YouTube a while back and I always found it sad, like you could tell just how much they meant to him.

>>5735783
Is that a see through top she put on or it's part of the design?

As soon as she danced around the subject of how she looks, he should have book it and got the hell of of there.

>>5736305
kys discord tranny

>>5727286
will i get someone who loves me?

>>5732221
oh yea bro I have so much control over everything that's making everything harder to do! I just need to do all the things that are so hard to do!
if you have such sage wisdom and deep insight, then how about you fucking do something faggot

>>5736365
>oh no the consequences of my own actions
You don't sacrifice for your life for people who prove they can't be trusted with their every breath.

>>5736365
if you had an ounce of self respect you would've lost her number and found a new apartment when you came home. I wouldn't tell you to abandon the kid now that you've bonded with him, but if you take her back again you are the literal cuck emperor of the universe.

>>5724725
Japanese never fails to amuse

>>5725458
This movie is fucking kino

>>5735783
Not OC, I have that exact webm saved from April 15

These threads seem to contradict the purpose they're meant to serve. It feels like a self-fulfilling cycle: I’m depressed, I share my struggles, and others reassure me that things will improve, but they don’t. The cycle just repeats. Honestly, what’s the point?

>inb4 I am mischaracterized as a doomer.
No, I am a realist. I don't allow my emotions to run amok. I know life will inevitably have its ups and downs, but I don't dwell on that; I am prepared for it. I also don't live in a void of nothingness where I can't ever find happiness. Seriously, what drives you people to keep going or do anything? To fulfill your basic survival instincts of eating, drinking, shitting, and pissing? Outside of that, what are you? Why bother to get out of bed? Most of you are an anti-social drain on society, but some will take away value from this post and seek to change your ways.

>>5737663
>Most of you are an anti-social drain on society, but some will take away value from this post and seek to change your ways.
Whatever is you think of antisocial is bullshit. People are hurt in shit world and want to be understood that... Yep. Shit is fucked. And seeing other people reassure you can help. You are not alone and shit can get better. That's what matter to them. The outcome of that? Non of your business

>>5736395
>she
that's a tranny, anon

>>5737663
I'm just here because I like the edits and the music

>>5737578
It's a re-edit I should have said. I saw a worse version of it from some lame ass snapchat channel that was posted in another thread where the guy walks off and that's it. I redid the whole thing with new music and added the compilation at the end.

>>5725011
I know exactly what you’re going through. My mother died of cancer when I was 18. I was there in the last moments. Someone from hospice wanted to speak with me about her. I was scared and she was unconscious. I cried, just wanting her to wake up and tell me what to do, to say anything. I never felt more alone in that moment. The following year was really rough: I moved 1,000 miles away, had to start over, deal with toxic family members, went to therapy because of suicidal thoughts. I didn’t have a dad either, so I basically became parentless.
That was 9 years ago, however. Now, I’ve made it to a point in my life that I never could have dreamed of while sitting in that dark hospital room. I worked hard, did what I thought was right along the way, and now everything is coming together. It ultimately made me stronger. I promise you will come out stronger on the other end, stronger and able to appreciate the little things in life so much more because of what you’ve been through. It might seem a meager consolation, but so much can happen in just 9 years. So much can happen for you in even less time. Find whatever strength you have to do better little by little every day. Just don’t give up.

>>5738403
What do you do anon?

>>5738405
I don’t want to give away too much info about myself, but I’ll say I have a post-graduate professional degree that pays well enough to care for a family.

>>5738410
That's a lot harder to achieve in your 30s. Your post is very lovely otherwise.

>>5738424
That’s true. Everyone’s situation is different, but a lot can still happen from 35 to 45. I wish you the best of luck, anon.

>>5726174
>should I just save money and build a hut somewhere in the woods?
Yes. I'm closing in on a million now (I'm 30) and I intend to do just that. My advice is focus on skills that make you money but are also ones you can use in an off-grid setting, so even if you hate your job, you can fantasize about how you will use it in your homestead. For me that was electrical engineering, but it could be anything.
>can't even do that because of German law lol
You're in the EU presumably, I'm sure there are countries you can migrate to. You sound chill, you could come to America, I wouldn't mind, although you'd probably hate it here. Still, plenty of woods outside of Germany.

Good luck anon, comfy webm. Love shit like that.

>>5736075
I wish I was capable of connection or love. I've never felt love in my life. Not once.

I guess you can't miss what you never had, but it does seem like I'm missing out. At least you get to feel the misery anon. I don't even get that.

>>5736379
Damn, I know the exact video you're talking about. It resonated with me as well. There was a period of time between ages like 7-12 that was just divinely happy. Playing Baldur's Gate or Team Fortress on summer nights, having friends sleep over and playing Goldeneye, felt like the joy would never end.

That joy has not come back since. It physically hurts to recall. It felt like the whole universe had its eye on you. I would give anything to feel that way again.

>>5725111
>Go find a .pdf of "Book of Pook", it saved my life.
Was reading it and I gotta say this line hit me:
>Women place value in societal links; how they are thought of. You become her ego.
As a schizoid who often gets the "is he gay" remark, I suddenly get why my attempts at dating go nowhere: I have a such a sublimated ego that for a girl there isn't much beyond my body and means.
Not sure how to fix that, but that's a useful realization. Thanks.

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>>5728061
>that fucking music
god damn..

>>5736864
>then how about you fucking do something faggot
but i did, faggot, and that's how i know from experience what works and what doesn't
keep yapping on the internet instead of making your life better, weak faggots deserve the misery they manufacture everyday by cooming and not socializing

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>>5724724
I think this year will finally do me in
>Had to put down my 19 year old cat due to kidney failure.
>Relationship I had falls apart shortly after, telling me she fell in love with someone else.
>Drop out of education because I could hardly function
>2 mass layoffs in the company I work for and probably not the last.
>My car, perhaps the only thing able to put some sort of a smile on my face is destroyed in a flooding.
I was hoping perhaps I'd go in a car accident, but I guess even that is out of the question now.

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>>5735608
>Just wish I had the guts to actually do it, but I'm more of a dreamer than a doer
feel the same but I read Teds essays and letters and I found this excerpt that gave me hope and courage. hope it helps
>Because I found modern life absolutely unacceptable, I grew increasingly hopeless until, at the age of 24, I arrived at a kind of crisis: I felt so miserable that I didn't care whether I lived or died. But when I reached that point, a sudden change took place: I realized that if I didn't care whether I lived or died, then I didn't need to fear the consequences of anything I might do. Therefore I could do anything I wanted. I was free! That was the great turning-point in my life because it was then that I acquired courage, which has remained with me ever since. It was at that time, too, that I became certain that I would soon go to live in the wild, no matter what the consequences. I spent two years teaching at the University of California in order to save some money, then I resigned my position and went to look for a place to live in the f orest.
>>5738450
>so even if you hate your job, you can fantasize about how you will use it in your homestead
great advice, but until I finish my apprenticeship I will only earn 750€. I don't even know whether I will finish it.

>>5725458
The first 30 sec of this webm is the most kino thing to ever come out of this site. Creator loses his way a bit and it becomes too long, but that's almost impossible to avoid with that amount of sync. Still great

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>>5725081
Had the same thing. 1 month of pure joy and happiness. Everything going so well. Chemistry. Sex. Love.

Then nothing.

I'm with you here, anon. It's like you've just lost the light at the end of your tunnel. Something to look forward to. Something to work and grow with. Gone.

I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

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I don't have friends.
I don't have a girlfriend.
I just go to work, and sleep when I get home.
I'm not entirely ungrateful though because I used to be homeless, at least I get to sleep in a bed and play video games and shit.
But at the moment, my life is not very fulfilling.

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I lived from paycheck to paycheck.. then Covid happened and I got screwed on an absurd level. The lowest level was taking the bike and pedaling along the highway to collect corn from the plantations during the early hours of the morning and try to cook it using an electrical resistance made from fence wire. I survived, I cured myself of the illnesses caused by a low-vitamin diet and I learned. I learned a lot and got to know myself a lot. I, today, am better than I have ever been in my life by a huge margin.

We need to fuck ourselves to learn. Trauma is the best teacher.

>>5737663
It's far easier if you are able to share the misery you feel with a stranger that you have a good reason to believe is going through similar things, because most people around you will not be able to relate to it, and their perception of you will change for the worse if you tell them. And, if you are lucky, you might get some advice out of it. I don't know what's suppsed to be so strange about this.
>Most of you are an anti-social drain on society, but some will take away value from this post and seek to change your ways.
Ah, I get it. It wasn't an honest post in the first place.

>>5725458
song name?

>>5739100
I was making zero dollars from 18-22 (college lol) and then barely above minimum wage when I joined the military from 22-26. I didn't start making real money until I was around 28, that's when I got my first six figure job.

I can't give you specific advice, besides as to develop a skill that will pay you big money. The big key is that you have find a way to differentiate yourself from the six gorillion other people in your field who will have your exact skillset. If you can find a job that is at an intersection of two niche skills, that's where the money is.

I had skills in computer science and telecom (electrical engineering). Computer science ain't what it once was, and coders are a dime-a-dozen now. Telecom guys are pretty common too, I could be a lineman or work at Verizon. But the two of them combined together make for a highly niche skillset that ended up paying me a lot of money ($160k/annum).

It just takes time anon, there's no way around that unless you somehow get lucky with shitcoins or options degeneracy. Either way though, building a skillset will give you competence and confidence, something in short supply these days.

Good luck anon.

>>5727810
lass uns tanzen gehen

>>5734393
happy beated birthday fag
if you reply to this and want me to buy you a drink we'll find each other somehow and I'll buy you that drink

>>5724724
Doing alright. I can get a decent paying job whenever I want to, but I'm currently working on getting neetbux to live for free for awhile so my income has to be low. Developed mental illness (some sort of periodic psychosis) around the age of 22. I'm 26 now. Struggled for about 4 years.

Used to be in great shape, having amazing sex, etc. Medication made me gain about 100lbs. Schizo meds are no joke, but I was so unbelievably productive in my late teens and early 20s that I have a lot to fall back on.

I'm starting to rediscover myself again. After struggling for work my enthusiasm about being a professional faded. I need to get that back. There's a lot I need to get back. I still have had a great time over the last year and worked steadily. Found new friends and did a lot of cool stuff.

It's wild how much suffering one can go through during a down period, but it's also incredible how good life can be. I was never really happy my whole childhood and basically managed to save my own ass from a terrible life.

I'm slowly starting to regain enthusiam for life and want to start having a more meaningful life again. I've more or less stuck to what I know works. It's kind of funny, because I know no matter what I go through at this point I can still recover from it really well and still continue on a steady upward path.

>>5738950
Song sauce?

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>be sort of cool, funny guy
>generally well at socialising with people
>still unable to form any kind if friendship or relationship due to all sorts of deep traumas and insecurities, will sabotage any kind of connection before it is allowed to form
>have no life whatsoever outside of uni, just kind of do nothing all day
>feel like an alien pretending to be human whenever I go outside and talk to people, nobody realises just how pathetic and lonely and empty my life is
>the biggest fucking losers I meet always seem to at least have some friends or do something with my life
>meanwhile I have never had real friends, have never even been to a party, I am literally just in my room all day when I'm not at school
>khv of course
The worst part is that I'm not even a fucking autist, I can talk to people just fine. I have no trouble with it whatsoever and I might even say I'm above average in how interesting and sociable I am, I can be the life of the party. But I am unable to form any sort of connection due to some kind of mental block and I am terrified of what people might think of me. I am constantly so close yet so far. I KNOW I could get friends and a gf and live a great life but I just won't allow myself to do it, I always end up sabotaging myself. It's probably like an actual personality disorder or something. They're gonna be checking me for autism soon but I doubt I have it since I have no social difficulties whatsoever (I do have really obvious ADHD tho).

I'm so fucking miserable and alone fellas, and everyone probably has no idea that I am this way

File: It's going to happen again.mp4 (4.89 MB, 1920x1080)

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>>5724724

>>5735906
I feel you. But unfortunately, there's nothing we can do but hope the madness ends.

>>5739562
FUCK 15 minute wait, but anon I posted this webm; the song is Dreams We've Had - News From The War. love you anon

>>5735906
then leave, 4chan is not, the human experience you, fucking, retard, also, you use, too many commas

File: Aguirre - I am the Wrath…(...).mp4 (2.02 MB, 576x576)

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to be a man

>>5734990
Dead Man's Letters

>>5742035
Thank you!

>>5727286
Shit a dystopic hellscape with one loving person looks better than my current life.

>>5741479
I'm there too bro.

I'm so despondent about everything. Everything I try goes totally wrong. There's no escape from this hole here. I feel drained. So far, I still haven't found a real purpose in life. Sometimes, I'm afraid to get out of bed in the morning. There's nothing to get up for.

>>5734393
Every time I watch this I realize this is probably how We Didn't Start the Fire feels to boomers

>>5733831
holy shit is henry "TJ" yoshi if that is even his real name

Anyone got the invisible guy floating away one?

File: Everyday Heroes DJ Santan(...).webm (3.97 MB, 600x338)

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>>5742575

>>5742580
Thanks anon! I'd found a version on youtube but the webm cut is more impactful
Here it is anyway https://youtu.be/uUmieCbuV-M

>>5742439
I feel that anon

>>5742439
>>5742619
That's literally an excerpt from Joseph Goebbels diary.
The little goblin was despondent but apparently not enough to stop him from supporting history's most genocidal regime.
Just because someone suffers from mental illness doesn't mean they deserve sympathy, Gerbils certainly didn't (especially considering the regime he supported literally gassed the mentally ill)

>>5742653
You're piece of shit, you know that right?

>>5741479
I'm the exact same, and was diagnosed with ADHD and social anxiety. I'm fine talking to people, but it takes a while to break my shell and it's pretty exhausting. Most of the newer friendships/acquaintences I've made have been in classes or work, where people are kinda "stuck" with me, but over time I grow on them. I also try to force myself into situations that I can't back out of that force me to be more social. Like a year ago I took a 2 week uni class that travelled to Ireland. There was only like 8 of us, and all of a sudden it kinda felt like "well if no one is gonna be social I guess I'll start it". I did exactly that and a lot of my good uni friends I've met were an exact consequence of that. Sometimes I just gotta let that impatience with myself build up until eventually I just say fuck it and shove myself out the door. usually to good results.

>>5725321
what a trip hearing OG Joji

>>5742663
Yeah I'm a piece of shit, not the guy who ran the propaganda department for the most evil regime in human history.
Odds are the Nazis would have gassed you sadsacks, you know that?

>>5743292
What made the Nazis so horrific, anon, wasn't that they were uniquely evil. It was that they were human, with the same attributes as us, but were still willing to sacrifice their neighbors in the vain hope that it would help them in some way.

You're no different from them. In fact, your desire to Other an entire group of people, for your own sense of self-satisfaction, makes you more alike than you could possibly know.

That is why you will never escape the cycles of guilt. That is why, try as you might, there will be nothing new under the sun for you.

>>5743307
What kind of bullshit logic is this?!
Most depressed people don't support and actively aid genocide.
Imagine making excuses for that rat-faced douche.

>>5743318
>Most depressed people don't support and actively aid genocide.
You've never been desperate before, I can tell.

Hell is a place on earth and it goes down much deeper than you think. But it is often a hell of our own making.

>>5725011
dumb faggot

>>5743307
People hate for your beliefs, not because you are "a different group of people". You're wrong.

>>5743359
You hate because it is the exhaust of your weary soul. Not because you have a justifiable cause for doing so.

You could transcend your humanity, and yet you deny yourself that possibility for petty reasons that won't matter to anyone in 70 years.

>>5737314
Agreed
>>5736365
>Protected her from all the criticism
Mate, just leave her already, you'll find someone else and even if you don't, being alone would be better than this

>>5730708
Unironically try lifting, idk how old you are right now or if your brother still bothers you. it will help your confidence and brain chemicals, gives you a goal to work towards, and once you start loving it, it will give you motivation to take care of your body.

>>5743375
They've killed a lot of assburgers like myself directly, so you're wrong, shithead. NatSoc was never about transcendence, quite the oppsotie actually, destroying people's lives for the things they cannot change.

>>5730308
sauce on music?

>>5728059
>gurren lagann indomitable human spirit webm

now, I need to see that

>>5725081
>>5725111
>>5730681
>>5736270
>>5739284
What's wrong with you people? Anon says he knew a girl for a month. It's not like he knew her for ten years and they had any sort of deep connection. How insane is it to get this attached after a month and then call the woman a demon for not wanting to touch his dick?

I guess she was a worthless human being if just being her friend strikes him as unattractive. If sex is the most important thing he ought to just get a prostitute.

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>>5725081
>>5730681
>>5739284

>>5744183
Anon you're projecting.

It's the loss of potential

File: Waiting for death.webm (1.39 MB, 320x240)

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>>5724724
Things have been alright, just a bit stuck.

>>5741345
>babies first time smoking xtc
Had 3 friends kill themselves from the throws of XTC that was too strong for them in the late 90s and early 2000s. Zoomers will never know.

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>>5725321
That is pretty scuffed mate. Finding love isn't easy, but the trick is to be a happy and fulfilled person so that others (including women) seek your company. You don't actually have to be happy, you can just pretend like you are. If you want to be a hyperautist about it, you can take some messages to heart from Snoot and Wani at least, I know this sounds retarded but as someone who's been in a long time relationship for 4 years now, those VNs made me shift my perspective on my relationship for the better.

>>5735608
Kek i remember people posting shit like this 18 years ago on 4chan "i'm inna woods being tracked by CIA"
Boring.

>>5738458
>>5736075
If you're white just get a free job/home as an English teacher in Asia/India/South America/Africa; brown people worship whites.

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>>5724724
Things are grim. I'm working 30 hours a week + 20 hours university, I make a pittance, my girlfriend of 4 years left to study in another country (I was supposed to go with her but due to unforseen circumstances I don't think I'll be able to join her). What is worst of all, my freetime is spent wasted because I'm utterly depressed all the time. I can't sleep. I've developed a pornography addiction. My health is failing and I can't even drag my ass to a doctor. The money I earn is worthless, I will never own a house, I don't even know why I'm doing what I'm doing, everything I would be passionate about appears so distant. I am generally a high performer in everything I do but I don't know how to turn that into money. I just want to die at this point, I've never been happy and I don't think I'll ever be happy.

>>5737663
I like these, I read everyone's story. Knowing how bad others have it doesn't make me feel better about my own situation but it also makes me feel like I would be doing the world a disservice if I gave up.

>>5741459
>>5738950

seconding source

>>5725321
Wow. I bet that's a real dead guy. At least it doesn't matter to them anymore

>>5742653
>history's most genocidal regime
muh 6 gorillian my fellow goyims

>>5744455
did not expect a dick and dom webm here

gold

>>5744399
>Keith Flint
>Anthony Bourdain
Any other famous ones?

>feels thread
>boohoohoo tfw no gf :((((((
jfc its the same faggot shit every time

>>5744455
same anon. There's some shitty stuff in my life right now but also lots of good stuff, especially compared to the past and my childhood. And the shitty stuff now isn't anywhere comparable to the shitty stuff 10 years ago. But, I'm a little depressed and feel stagnant, or like I'm slipping from what I've built. I'm too much of a perfectionist.

>>5736365
The kid must be white because if he is a mulatto or quadroon you should be spat upon twice: once for being a fucking zogbot (seriously, faggot, was being a forklift operator too intellectual for you?) and two, for raising nigglet.

>>5728617
Oh hi Mr army recruiter! Did you take your mandatory diversity training today already? Anons, if you're depressed and seek meaning in life, for fucks sake, DO NOT JOIN THE ARMY.
Vultures like >>5728617 this faggot see you as a number in their quotas. Their stories exist solely to have you sign your fucking soul away.

>>5737663
It's misery porn anon. The posters here compete with one another to see who can get the sobbiest story to get the maximum amount of asspats. Despite what you might have heard, the pity of strangers is the easiest thing to get in the world. It costs nothing from the stranger and he will forget about you the moment you log off. In fact, the stranger will get a tingle of satisfaction because "he made a difference". Loving someone and taking them through the straight path is hard, is miserable, and you more than often end up hating the person you love. But giving asspats on the net? Fucking child's play.

File: 1666500002467707.webm (1.34 MB, 640x640)

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I'm 26. I'm a virgin. I have no friends. I couldn't finish my degree. Every day since high school has been a blurry mess. My head feels like it's going to explode. I have nobody to blame but myself.

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>>5724724
Everything's shit but it doesn't bother me anymore. I think I finally made it bros, I've reached enlightenment. Nothing is ok, and that's ok. I'll probably never have my life fully in order, but every day I move in the right direction even if just a bit. Had I been in this position some 2-3 years ago I'd be wallowing in self pity and defeatism.
Also it took me a couple of years but I finally realized that living at this latitude the lack of sunlight in winter gives me seasonal depression. It's very stupid, especially considering how long it took me to understand this, but it really helped me rationalize why I feel the way I do. If I feel shitty now I literally just think that I don't feel sad because of any immediate conditions, I do so due to outside effects out of my control, which are temporary and will pass, and you have no idea just how much more free and calm I feel knowing that. So if any of you anons think this might be the case I really recommend looking into it, just pay attention how you feel now vs say in March, and then the next year. It might quite literally just be the weather, and simply just knowing this fact makes it so much easier to live.
Idk what webm to post to accompany this post so have Misato because I watched that show at my absolute lowest and it left a very strong imprint on me

>>5741459
>>5744511
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DK51waZgYPY

>>5725011
hope if all settles for you. all the best

>>5724726
Been trying to find the name of the song used in this and the taxi driver clip.

>>5745515
Strawberry Guy - F Song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUmasKuqag0

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>>5726174
>>5735608

I was in a similar position to you, so if I may give advice- first of all the desire to be left alone is absolutely normal, there's nothing wrong about it especially if you live in a big city where peace and quiet is seldom to be found. What is bad is when it grows to such a degree that it overshadows other necessities and desires and you start deluding yourself that you would be better off away from civilization. It already helps knowing that you are not alone feeling like that and not going insane, but the bulk of my advice is to do exactly what I did- save up 500 euros for gear, schedule a month off work next summer, and go hiking somewhere remote. The more remote and the harder it is, the better it is. I did 300km through mountains over 2 weeks in northern Sweden, that's a good benchmark. You can chose your location yourself of course, but the "remote" and "difficult" parts are paramount, you need to struggle from start on finish and rely exclusively on your own ability both in preparing beforehand and in the moment. This does several things- one is that it actually familiarizes you with the dangers of the outside world, and with that it will either prepare you for life there or kill that idea. Either is a win. Two is that you will find your peace and solace that you so much desire. It may be cynical to say that considering it's only a trip and not a permanent stay, but you do retain a piece of it when you return back to civilization, it charges you up so to say. Besides that, you know how people say that exercise and going into nature is good for mental health? Well if going to a gym and visiting a park is like using a screwdriver on your brain then what you'll be doing is using a sledgehammer. The mix of hormones, hunger, and the perilous outside environment will hard-reset your brain. (contd.)

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>>5745707
And finally three- it will just be a good and memorable experience that you'll remember for a long time and serve as a good conversation topic with people. our character is already predisposed to liking these things, if all else fails it will at the very least be a pleasurable experience and a milestone to remember.
This is the one true advice on what to do if you feel that way, so please take it to heart and actually act on it. This isn't the toothless advice that other people will give you about just getting out more or lifting weights, this is exposure therapy. Having written all that my only request is, if you actually are the way you described, to just act on it. It's winter now so you can have as much as half a year in preparation, planning and saving up cash. Just don't overestimate yourself because if you plan for something stupid like relying on fishing for sustenance while also walking 20km uphill every day then you will not finish your trip. It's a dangerous place and you can die out there if you are stupid.
I hope you listen to this, take care anons.

>>5728617
You won't step on an IED. The way shit's going, you'll end up getting vaporized by an FPV drone going mach 3 up your asshole as you try to take an MRE-induced gigashit at the slit trench and then 14 year old retards who have never experienced real hardship will make fun of you in the comments of liveleak or on this website

>t. infantryman

I got dumped 6 months ago by my fiancee. We were together for 10 years. She took care of me when I got a cancer diagnosis, thankfully just chronic and not terminal.

She didn't even tell me that I was the problem, she just didn't want to live in our state and moved across the country back home. I took care of all her financial needs but she wanted financial independence.

Now I'm 40, overweight, balding from the meds (or maybe just being 40) and I think about her every day. I moved out of the apartment that was our home and bought a house, and it just feels like a hollow shell without her to give it warmth. I have a decent career but I'm traveling, literally gone half of the time because I work at a remote industrial facility. When I get home the place is cold.

I can't even imagine trying to date but I'm afraid I'll never get over her until I'm in love with someone new, who then might take advantage of me.

Why even bother anymore

>>5746807
Fake suburbian propaganda to keep the plebs occupied. How is this even supposed to go? Kid hugs a total stranger and the geezer immediately runs to whatever that news stations name is, hollering
>IVE GOT A STORY!
>IVE GOT A STORY!
>I GOT HUGGED BY A LITTLE GIRL!
and the doorman says
>OH GEEZ LOUISE COME RIGHT IN
Yeah sure buddy, good night.

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>>5746829

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>>5724724

>>5746810
>guy jumps in front of train
>SOMETHING IN THE WAY
Are you sure this doesn't belong in a YLYL? Because I laughed

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>>5724724
Everything in my life is good except that I can't find a gf.
I have lots of good friends, close family, interesting hobbies, excellent health, plenty of money, charisma, good looks, free time, fulfilling volunteer work, many experiences and memories, etc. By all accounts, my life is fantastic.

It's so frustrating having everything I want out of life except for what I want most. I am happy except for this great big black hole sucking all the joy in around it. I understand now why that trope exists, where some rich successful guy looks at his mansion and says something like,
>All these rooms, and no one to share them with
Literally what is the point in having all this if I can't do it all with someone special? Doubling the pain is that I get a decent amount of women hitting on me when I go out with friends for drinks or whatever. Am I only good for a fuck and nothing else?

The one and only dream that I've had since I was a child is to snuggle up under a blanket on the couch with my wonderful woman and fall asleep together. Why can't I have this? What is wrong with me?

>>5742363
I would agree if it wasn't for that one clip where she's amazed and relieved that the protagonist is alive. I think I'd rather be single forever than constantly worry about seeing my love again.

>>5728059
Kek. I'll never give up.

>>5746840
this gets me everytime

Here's today's diary entry split across 3 posts. Maybe you will enjoy reading it.

It's been years since I was last able to truly enjoy things. The last thing I actually remember finding some peace and pleasure in was when I first started playing guitar. How it felt to actually make music, rather than a consumer of it. It spoke to a part of me that felt human after everything. A part that apparently is not there anymore. That was about 2 years ago now.

I tried - not really - to play something yesterday. For what felt like less than a minute. Everything sounds and feels wrong. I suppose it will do given how long I have been not playing. But this extends to lots of things. Cooking, reading, films. I can't get excited for any of it.

I went to Amsterdam on Saturday. A debate tournament. That's how **** met his wife, so I thought why not. Wasn't a great time to be quite honest. Then I met up with **** round 10:30 at night and we smoked and talked. He's fucking a former F1 model. And another girl, who buys him dinner unprompted. And that one girl who still has a boyfriend. He'll be a millionaire if his start-up sells at this series A thing. We smoked the morning after, walked, and said our goodbyes. It's a great thing to live in a city like Amsterdam as a young man. I feel suffocated in ****. There is not a single thing to do or person to meet.

**** has a girlfriend too now. Which makes me the very last one. I don't hear so much from him anymore.

So I walk. I walk and I try to read the same books. Spend hours on the same forum, eyes barely scanning the page, pure habit with no intention of gaining anything or even reading most of the replies. Too tired to apply for jobs or anything else. The kind of tiredness that sleep can't fix.

Why do people get to experience life without intention. Why do I alone have to put effort in to everything all the time. Why does it always go so comically wrong in spite of everything I know, everything I plan for, everything I practice and rehearse in my head. Friend gets a job, he meets a girl. I go there, I meet geriatrics and married people. Friend goes to uni, makes friends. I made more enemies. somehow. I just can not seem to have anything go right, ever. I'm tired of waiting for my good luck to begin like it never ended for everyone else.

Every decision I make is wrong, I fear. What I want to do now most of all is just give up. Give up and let myself be carried by the muddy currents and eddies of fate. Fighting against it for the last ten years has done precisely zero good, except maybe I would have killed myself earlier. Being carried by fate is what everyone else does anyway. Things just happen to them. But what happens when I give up and stop putting effort in? I will certainly end up a 30 year old fucking loser still and I'll regret my having given up too. There's just no path to a better future.

I thought - during my walk in the woods - that maybe here wouldn't be such a bad place to die. To be amongst the trees. Caught me off-guard that I think these things again but it's hardly surprising is it.
It would surprise the wrong people though. That's the thing. It would have been "entirely out of the blue, nothing we could have done." Yeah, right. In any case, it's my 24th birthday and christmas soon. ****'s and ****'s birthday after that, and ****'s wedding after that. So can't do anything about me being alive just yet.

People say in your darkest moments, that's when you rise up like a phoenix out of the ashes. I think these people like poetic words above all else. My darkest moments led to a decade-long doomed campaign for my soul against fate. I did not become a phoenix. I did not become anyone. I feel the same exact person as I was at 14.

Everyone else, they became someone. Not me. And nobody seems to know why.

Actually I think I know why. I think they can smell it on me. They can read it from the lines on my face and the greying of my hair. People just don't like this guy, and if they don't, then I sure as hell won't either.

Im looking for a webm of a chibi anime girl doing a daily routine in a single room, like eating, sleeping, streaming, drawing, for the whole video until she has a breakdown and then is shown the room empty

>>5724727
We imagine heaven, but what if this is exactly how heaven is? Everybody else is off having fun like real life. You spend eternity just wishing you lived life differently because now you aren't a part of anybody elses heaven and you're alone again. Don't let life slip by.
SAVVD

>>5741511
I said this a while back. Everything we know is an echo of the great men that came before us and nobody knows anything anybody else can't learn. Nobody will discover anything new by following the current "thinkers". If you follow any field you end up exactly where some other guy already was 100+ years ago. So the smartest people to most of society are just jackasses that remember what some other guy said and repeat it. The actual smart guys get removed.

>>5741479
with ya in the boat my far away friend

Does anyone have the webm of the russian astronaut looking down at earth?

>>5742749
whats the version of this where the bird is singing the vocals to a rock song

>>5746810
The fact nobody noticed gave me a some sort of feel. Christ, man.

>>5745978
Anon if she didn't stick around then she's not the one. It's not really a high bar to reach, anybody you meet next be better by default and all they'd need to do to be better than her is not break up.

>>5747208
There is a beautiful woman out there somewhere and she is looking for someone JUST LIKE YOU. She is having the same thoughts as you, yet doesn't realize you are out here. You're here waiting for her man, do what you have to do to make sure your paths cross.

>>5724724
had to sell my motorcycle today. I was one of the few things that gave me joy and made me feel free and alive. yes, I will get a new one in spring but until then, music and alcohol is the only things that can make me feel something.
>no bike
>no girl
why live?

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>>5724724
>The last 6 years I've been isolated
>Wake up
>Sit on my computer
>Browse internet, play video games
>No online friends
>No real friends
>No family
>Just me, and my thoughts.
Sometimes I think I am going crazy, that I am losing my sanity. And I can never go back to a normal life. I fear of going to sleep at night because I fear of dying in my sleep and no one will find me till my neighbours complain about the smell, and all anyone will know about me is that I was some weirdo.

I want to change things, I gave myself this year to get my shit together. First I need to lose weight, then I need to think about finding a decent job, but I have no degree. I am not giving up yet, but fuck me life is sad and lonely.

I hope you anons have a good day if you are reading this.

Didn't expect my post to get any attention, let alone such kinda words. I don't know if you anons are still lurking or posting in this thread but thank you.

>>5725988
Thanks anon, I appreciate the kind words.

>>5726311
I am really sorry about your father. It's gonna be hard losing him, and it's gonna be a dark place but we will get through this.

>>5738403
I'll try my hardest to not give up, it's just hard some days. Like today. Sadly I think I'm to old for things to turn around like that. I'm in my early 30s and disabled.

>>5750692
I'm sorry anon, I don't know what I'd do if I had no friends or family. I really hope you get your shit together and find happiness.

All you suicidal... Let me tell you. From someone who has been at the bottom in life.

>Dad was never home.
>Ultra conservative mom beat me as a kid.
>Born with chronic illness, suffered intense periods of pain since puberty.
>Surgery has no guarantees but has the risk of impotence and wearing a diaper for the rest of my life.
>Turned introvert because of my upbringing at home.
>School was shit because I got bullied and never felt I fit in.
>Tried to be nice but quiet in school so I didn't stand out.
>Lost contact with my childhood best friends.
>No close friends at all.
>No contact with my family today.
>No money in bank account for most of my life.
>No education because I graduated with shit grades.
>No real job until I was 30.
>Two relationships that turned out shit, almost killed myself after the first break-up.
>Periods of suicidal attempts but too scared to pull the last second trigger.
>Suffered mentally, struggled with anxiety and panic disorder since I was 20.

But here I am. And even though I regret so many things I did or didn't do in my life and the only thing I wish is to turn back time and do things differently, I can't. We can't.

It's so obvious that you guys actually don't want to suicide because else you wouldn't be here just like me. You are just looking for a way out of your misery that you are currently experiencing in your life and just want someone to listen to you, tell you that everything will be ok if you "do this & that" so you can escape the rabbit hole.

If you truly wanted to end your life then you would've already done it. Because there is no reason to wait. You would end your life and be gone FOREVER and waste any little hope left that your life would actually turn out great.

But I'm happy today. I have a wonderful girlfriend and wealth. Things sorted itself out and turned out great. I look forward to the future!

Stop complaining, get up on your feet and get better.

"To Live is to Suffer, to Survive is to Find Meaning in Suffering"

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>>5746806
I hope i live long enough to have a daughter one day..

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>>5746840
if you have someone who loves you, even a little. Dont fucking kill yourself you selfish pos..

>>5743681
>NatSoc was never about transcendence
Missing the forest for the trees.
Natsoc was a political movement.
Political movements exist to give people meaning; to help them find purchase in an evil world, filled with evil people, all doing evil things for their own self-satisfaction.
Nazis killed your people for the same reason you shitpost on 4chan: using others as a scapegoat made them feel better about themselves.
In this way, you are more alike to nazis than you are different. That is what you fail to understand.
By letting go of your vices, you could transcend the limitations that bound them; that bind us here, now.
But you never will, so long as you are determined to hate. Like a child that things gripping a stone harder and harder, out of anger, will make him feel better about the things he cannot change. Only to return to the cycle once your life has ended.

>>5742751
brutal

>>5750970
lol

>>5746840
feminists want this.
black activists want this.
they will laugh over your suicide.

remember that before the next time you agree with them and just let them do their thing.

>>5751367
You can extend that list, the number of piece of shit celebrating this evil is composed of politicians, teachers and a variety of actors, from insignificant little sluts with the camera of a phone to the filthy fucking rich pedophile jews deciding who get to have free speech or not.
These vermins all deserve the wrath of god.

>>5742756
I remember this being posted onto a YLYL thread, it was probably the funniest thing being posted in there, lmao. Massive-ass backhander.

>>5746840
>>5747975
>>5750943
>>5751367
>>5751374
I don't want to seem insensitive or anything but someone made a kickass song sampling that 911 call.
>https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2UFyuPfp9hQ

>>5728061
This reminded me of when I was 15 and trying my best to motivate myself to go to my first day of work. I woke up, my parents were away, I listened to this and when I got to work there was a girl cosplaying as the drafon maid loli I forget her name. I had some of the best times of my life because of that job. Now im 21, schizo, lonely, retarded and depressed. Oh well, I hope this video motivates someone else. The song is from my hero academia :)

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>>5728068
My lighters went several times in the washing machine and still work, tough little niggers

>>5750748
>not a single good thing going for you
>you should keep going just like me!
If I'm lucky it'll all be over before my life is half as bad as yours.

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My feels recently manifested themselves as a massive stomach pain that at first I thought was an ulcer. I was convulsing in my bed for two hours or so, when the pain reached its peak I started crying like I do when I drink too much. After 5-10mn of crying the pain started going away. It still hurt for 24 hours or so but the worst of it was over. 2 months prior to that I stopped breathing in my sleep after a day filled with death. This year has been nothing but shit and death and I'm tired.

>>5751462
This movie looks f4gg0tty and dumb. As a man why should I watch it?

>>5751477
What's stopping you from writing faggot, faggot?

>>5730708
U can't lift a pistol out of a holster like that. Especially a cop's holster. Which has a safety strap, and a thumb break.

>>5746809
Ian is checking his concealed handgun's drop safety.

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>itt

>>5743960
not him but its a slowed version of "summer love" by trevor something https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dp5LavG3Oys&ab_channel=NewRetroWave

>>5751619
kino

>>5727286
Song anon i only can find the anima libera one

>>5751619
people really need to stop taking videos of me and posting it online without my permission

>>5741511
there's a higher realization that what mankind can achieve. that's the real existential crises, the bottom of our struggle.

>>5724724
Girl from my workplace for I believe 3 months now is flirting with me more and more every week we work together. During employee christmas eve 5 days ago she and I got drunk and she escalated some things more, being very close, touching and so on, the problem is - she has a dude, I dont know him and couldnt care less for him, but on the other hand she was drunk which just makes me wonder. She even gave me her number without me even trying. Of course I have to come up with some scenarios where shes using me or just having fun on my expense. I'm not a fag before any of you asks. Right now I'm waiting for the next day we work together and will try to scout some ground because its just so fucking confusing and it drives me insane, if she was using me for fun - wouldnt it be easier for her to flirt with me like that while sober? She still does that but not that far. Chances are I'm just fucking autistic and overthinking simple stuff, which makes it weirder.

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I decided to finally try a dating app.
I downloaded Hinge and on the very first day I matched with an amazing woman. She was cute, modest, and we had literally everything in common, down to learning the same languages, reading the same books, listening to the same podcasts, and even having the same interest in Ancient Greek mythology as children.
We chatted through the evening and the next morning, then around lunchtime I asked her on a date. She said yes, and was even going to walk for 40 minutes straight after work just to meet me for a coffee and a walk in the park.
But the next day I cancelled on her. I'm 27 and have never even held hands with a woman and the anxiety was too much, my hands were shaking and I wanted to throw up the second I arranged the date. Even in her reply to me cancelling she was so kind and understanding.
I tried, got exactly what I was looking for almost immediately, then fucked it up because I'm a pussy. That was a week ago and I can't stop thinking about her.

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>>5752273
baited dot com, but still I'll bite - text her honestly about why you bailed. given that you already went autismo steven seagull on her unsuspecting aahh, you can tell her about your anxiety and unload your tard fee fees so you can get perspective about how the opposite gender views these types of chud manifestations. if all fails tell her that you're level 150 on hero wars

>>5751891
living the life holy shit

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>open thread
>boys thinking that a girl would complete their lives
holy shit you sissies need to define yourself outside a woman. you think like a woman and whine like a woman. fucking exhausting.

>>5751477
because you're a good joe

>>5742756
fortunately i'll never know these feels since i'll be dying alone

>>5751891
People who make of drinking their entire personalities are so funny kek

>>5750943
>posts man who famously killed himself
Sure he killed himself as apart of his art and everything but he had a wife and kids.

>>5752555
You have to be mentally mature to understand this short clip

>>5724726
lol that's my edit

>>5732221
finally some true advices

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>>5724724
I fucked up. I started work as a 911 EMT and it severely impacted my personal life. I ended up cheating on my long-term girlfriend (drunk one-night mistake) and I've just been coping with alcohol, drugs, and casual sex. Nothing, including my job or the possible career move-ups excite me anymore. All I do is think of the family we planned of; the life we dreamed together.

Just recently working on shift, I realized that my old life is dead. Going to work and coming home to her was gone. Its now just going to work and coping.

>>5728073
Been looking for this video for months. Thank you.

>>5724724
I guess I don't have a lot to not be thankful for. This is the last week of my first semester of graduate school and I'm just so drained. That combined with le no gf is just so frustrating to go through all of this stress and have no one to comfort you. A classmate got me in contact with their sister, she's pretty cute, but I don't know if I am going to go for it. Happy Holidays Anons.

>>5751477

You're right. It's faggotty and dumb. As a man you shouldn't watch it. I mean why bother when you can watch the entire MCU for the nth time.