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>>5724724
>how have yall been doing recently?
i dunno what i'm gonna do
what am i gonna DO
i might be homeless if things go just right
everyone said i wouldn't be homeless, they didn't believe in me
don't let your dreams be dreams, prove the haters wrong

>>5724724
>how have yall been doing recently
Gonna be the 1 year anniversary of my fathers death at the start of next month. This time last year is when he got really bad health wise and I was caring for him. Can't stop thinking about him, that month or seeing him in the hospital bed, unconscious and dying. I just do nothing but cry all day lately and think about suicide. This past year has been hell and I don't know what to do if it continues like this. I also have other shit in my life going wrong, like my teeth literally falling apart due to shitty genetics I got from, oddly enough, my dad who was in dentures by his 30s. Seems I'm just following in his footsteps in that regard. I'm actually really scared with these suicidal feelings and thoughts I've been having. Sorry, just need to vent I guess.

>>5725011
good luck

>>5724724
I honestly forgot the election is in less than 24 hours until you reminded me
Kek
Another nothingburger so really just same old same old

>>5725011
Hope you feel better for venting

>>5725059
here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J---aiyznGQ

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>>5724724
this girl led me on for a month saying she really liked me and today she said we should just be friends. and that was the only thing i had going for me in life, and now im back to feeling suicidal all the time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCeeTfsm8bk

>>5725011
*farts on you*

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>>5725081
>this girl led me on for a month saying she really liked me
You either never made a move (kissing her, going for the bra) or she never intended to fuck you anyway. When a woman likes a guy all he has to do is try to fuck her and its game on.

Go find a .pdf of "Book of Pook", it saved my life.
Its a series of posts from a guy who spent shitloads of time on pick up artist forums and came to realize "PUA theory" is silly in many aspects and that it took redpills and covered them in glitter and performative nonsense. His entire post history is him slowly dissolving away the shit to find the redpill at the core and coming to understand women in the ways our great grandfather's did. He also learned that a lot of PUA theory is just bitter virgins angry at women and that rage leaking out in daily interactions. I read it when I was a 28 yr old virgin thanks to some random anon on atechins. Within a year I was actively dating and at 32 I got married. You can do it, anon.

>>5725111
fuck off retard

>>5725103
>>5725115
>hava nagila plays in the background

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>>5724724
>how have yall been doing recently?
I feel weird. Thanks to therapy I feel like I slowly get my identity back. I'm no longer a mannequin pretending to be a human who is capable of human like responses.
Memories are no longer these numb snippets of someone I apparently was, but they are mine now. I can feel connection to that person. I can recall my feelings I had back then.

>>5724724
I am considering suicide due to my horrible OCD. If anybody here ever beat OCD (the terrible spiraling thoughts kind, not the organization kind) please tell me how

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I've been consuming VNs like SnootGame and Wani since I was never good with being intimate with women. Now I have no feelings towards 2D roasties and only crave the love and feel of anthropomorphic dino girls. I cannot tell this to my therapist or she'll try to put me on retard numbing pills or some shit

>>5724727
I need the original version of this. I thought I had it saved

>>5725321
When my therapist asked me what game I was playing till 2 AM and when I told her it was "Living with sister: A monochrome fantasy".
She was asking more questions what about I found it so appealing to keep playing it into late hours.
As awkward it was to talk about it and at point she made a disgusted face when saying the word "sister" in sexual context. It didn't impact much our relationship.

If you don't spergout about fantasizing wanting to fuck alt high schoolers as an adult you should be fine

>>5724724
Does anyone have the Ana de Armas webm? The one where she says "let's Go get some hot dogs"

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>>5724724
in some ways i have been doing well. i am working towards some IT certs and going through my masters program. my parents are supportive of me, i want to make them proud. they have done so much for me.
on the other hand, i have been also not doing well. it is like there is a cloud hanging over my head, i am trying to shake it.

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>>5724724
Shitty. Really shitty. Depression is only getting worse as I get older. Tried to offset it a bit with giving myself a goal of buying a gun I've wanted for more than a decade now which made me happy for a day or two. Problem is there's so much going on that just makes it hard to not regularly be in a state of despair even with that little light I can actually reach down the road waiting for me. Can't really talk about my depression except anonymously because if people find out how depressed I really am and how long I've been like this they'll do the worst thing they can and try to "help". That "help" has a track record of just making things worse. Imagine the sort of "help" you'd get if you admitted the thing you've prayed for the most in your life by a wide margin is death.

On top of that a friend of mine who doesn't understand depression finally got a real taste of it for himself and started trauma dumping on me every time I see him. He just winds himself up more and more to the point where it's giving him awful headaches and panic attacks. Makes it much harder for me to hold the line and keep my own dark thoughts at bay.

The election is a worry to me but I've got plans either way. What happens will happen and there's not much I can do about it in regards to that.

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>>5725411
I have this one, although I'm not sure what the "original version" is desu so I'm just throwing this one out there

>>5725461
I hear ya. I’m sorry.
>trauma dump
This so much this. “Hey anon I know you’re a sad piece of shit let me make you sadder by unloading all my bullshit on you that you can’t fix… don’t worry it pales in comparison but you won’t be able to say that!”

>>5725011
I have been having sad thoughts too. I dont know about life right now but I want you to know we are here with you. Even if you come and go anons are here. I hope you make it.

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I'm only 20 y/o and I can't take it anymore. I'm thinking of just living in the woods and going full ted-mode. I tried finding joy in material things but I feel even worse now. got my first car a month ago but I don't feel anything, only more bills and driving through a overcrowded city maybe. I wake up everyday and want to kill myself, but I have to drag myself to work and count minutes until the shift ends. I would gladly be a neet but my parents would kick me out, so I do a job I hate. I never had a "dream job" or shit like that. should I just save money and build a hut somewhere in the woods? can't even do that because of German law lol

>>5724724
Op is a faggot.

>>5725801
what kind of faggot newfag would download this and swap the music and call it "feels"?
nigger this is so retarded. If you harmonize with furry insanity fucking ack yourself.

>>>5725011
Please don't end your life mate, you will smile again and you will get there.

My father was diagnosed with a brain tumour last year and now he's also been diagnosed with bladder cancer, they can't operate due to him being so old and frail, we're now waiting for a palliative care assessment to make him comfortable. He lives with me and I work full time to pay the bills, I care for him when I'm at home.
I don't want him to die, I feel absolutely helpless and I'm crying as I'm writing this, I'm 36 and never thought he'd go this way.

I know when the inevitable happens, I've done all I can for him, just know that your dad is proud of you and thankful that you cared for him and you love him.

>>5725011
>>5726311
Be glad that, at least, you guys had good fathers/parents. Having shitty parents hurts a lot... never felt as lonely as I feel now because of them.

>>5725166
I get the feeling, Mr. Anon. I had it pretty horribly (perhaps not as bad but who knows). I don't really know how to help you out as consciously trying to ignore the thoughts helped (started with the small things rather than the larger triggers), but I can say that it's definitely possible for you to recover. It might take time, but it definitely doesn't have to last a lifetime. Hope you're able to get through it, Mr. Anon. OCD is truly way worse than people think it is.

>>5725166
Medication can help. It sucks because it's all like 'try this for 6 weeks and let see if it works.' Plus it's hard to find a good psychiatrist. They all have waiting lists, and none of them take insurance. But it's worth doing it because it doesn't always have to be as bad as it is now. You also have to do all the conative behavioral therapy stuff and all the lifestyle stuff, and the meditation. It all works together.

I remember my doctor talking about how whatever medication could sometimes cause seizures and to stop taking it immediately if I had one. I thought to myself, "If you think having a seizure would dissuade me from taking something that might help, I have failed to adequately express the magnitude of my dissatisfaction with the status quo." I also remember deciding not to actually say it because I figured he might not let me try it if I did. The moral of the story is that that conversation was almost 25 years ago now, and I'm fine.

>>5725801
KEEEEEK LOST HARD

>>5724726
Sauce?

>>5725166
Big dose of a psychedelic if you want a quick result. I recommend a wilderness setting and a trip sitter if you can get one. But if you're suicidal you might get some benefit from doing it alone and just testing yourself against reality, see if you survive. There's clinics that do it SLOWLY and LEGALLY, if that's your preference, but the strength of psychedelics is that they remove you from your usual mental mantras and let you look at them from a clinical distance, which is better done in one big burst than as a chronic treatment. There was a thread on /r9k/ about drugs last time I browsed, maybe check there, I haven't had to hook the stuff up in decades so I don't know anymore.

Other than that all I can say is that remember you die in the end anyway, so suicide is kinda pointless, you might as well see how it goes. That was the choice I made. Best of luck.

>>5726174
The feeling of yearning is natural, it's telling you that something is missing. One thing I've learned as an old fuck is that when you get a feeling it's generally telling you something important, so don't push it down, lean into it. I'm not sure what specifically you should do other than status quo probably isn't it.

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>>5725451
Not this one?

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i didnt hear no bell anons, get up
also anyone got the gurren lagann indomitable human spirit webm?

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>>5728059

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>>5728061
whatever found it

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>>5728059
i know some of you really enjoy the webm with demiurge so i come here to post it when i feel fine. please do engrave it in your minds and think back to it whenever you're feeling down. i suppose most of us are going through a cycle of mania (or a feeling of slight hope or happiness, whatever) and depression so i wanted to remind you that as long as we're standing, we are all going to make it, even if we have to make it through hell. don't give up and stay safe

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>>5725011
I've been through a similar phase of watching dad slowly die in the hospital bed 7 years ago. I'm afraid I have no advice to give you since I haven't been able to get over it myself. I know it feels terrible but refrain from killing yourself. We might be scarred for the rest of our lives and might not fully recover, and I hate to admit but it DOES hurt to try sometimes, believing that you will be "fixed" this time only to end up disappointed, back where you started. However you should keep in mind that we only get one shot at life and we should make the most of it with what we got. Keep moving forward and exhaust every option. It's great that you have decided not to bottle it up. Please come here to vent sometimes or maybe if you want to keep talking about stuff? I'll try to keep an eye out

>>5727583
The 400 Blows (1959), François Truffaut

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>>5728059
fuck that guy!

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As much as I've enjoyed salt mining, It's time to get serious. I need to lose weight so I can join the army. Yea, it's going to be shit and I'll likely die somewhere in the middle east. But it's my choice and I choose to die that way. Even if it's from an IED I'll never see. Every day I'm there I'll act as my last day on earth. And that's a comfort I'll enjoy until I do die.

>>5724960
congrats anon

>>5725942
God damn you're a faggot

>>5727810
No, it was black and white and it was in an urban setting but thanks for trying bro.

>>5728617
Delusions aren't helping you cope.
No one sees combat. You're more likely to win the lottery.

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Reposting a classic
>>5728059
Based

>>5724724
did not like joker 2

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>>5725081
I feel you
Though in my case, I never expressed my feelings to her because I was scared of getting rejected (never asked anyone out before) and kept delaying it. Before I noticed 4 years passed and she's engaged now. I hate being a passive faggot. I had so many chances to say something but I just didn't. I try really hard to forget about it but I really can't. I'll just try and get back into university so I feel like my life has purpose again. Otherwise I will shoot myself the first minute I can

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>Went to join the military
>Got denied for medical reasons
>Have friend
>Fall out with friend quite severely
>Some years past
>He's now in the military
>Just found out he's got a kid now
He was an ass, I'm happy for him. But damn, my life went off a cliff. Looking at his life feels like looking at what my life could have been. Just tired, it's never ending.
>Have two parents
>luckyIguess.jpeg
>Dad beats my mum
>Constant fights and arguing
>House filled with tension
>Mum uses me as an emotional vice
>Brother uses me as a punching bag
>Become a withdrawn kid but still try and push through school
>Get sexually assaulted as a kid by an older kid
>Never tell anyone
>Could never tell my mum it would break her
This one, I still don't how to feel about. Indifference I guess, sometimes disgust. I had so much else going at the time, this felt insignificant.
>Constantly try to numb how I feel
>Gaming
>Start watching Pornography at 10
>Rarely go a day without masturbating
When I was younger it didn't seem to matter, but now I'm in my twenties it feels impossible to stop.
>Luck out and get a GF at 16
>She's not a virgin
>Bothers me but try and see it through
>Have to see her ex at school now
>After a year I can't take it anymore and break up with her
>Last thing she said was that she didn't want to leave me with this family
She really did care about me, but being with her felt horrible at this point. It feels like everything good comes with a massive price to pay.
>Fall out with friend
>At this point I apply for the military
>Get denied
>I mentally break
>Everything catches up with me
>Realise I'm mentally fucked
Of course in the end everything went to shit when I got denied, that was my ticket out. I just felt so unlucky, and so tired. Started drinking heavily for the past few years, stopped that for now, trying to work towards going to university.

>>5725092
I like it but I've seen this done much better
https://youtu.be/e9dZQelULDk?si=SDUVg8xOmUXPWADu

>>5724724
>my life is a comedy
Yeah it was hilarious when he got his asshole shredded in prison.

>>5724724
I don't know how I feel anymore. A few years ago I was at my all time peak in terms of depression. I had lost all my friends, wouldnt open up to my family much, skipped all my classes, grades went to shit and i would constantly go out and drink alone (got so bad that I almost crashed my car while i was blackout drunk at one point) while being almost physically unable to get out of bed some days. It felt like the only emotion I could muster was this deep and irreversible sadness, and that everything i did was just completely pointless, so why even bother.
i still have some problems now. my college grades are better and im getting work done, still skipping classes though. I'm talking a lot more with most of my family member, but I still havent got any real close friends. I'm not completely socially inept like i was a few years ago, i can hold a conversation with strangers well and get along well with people. I dont push for connections, maybe out of fear that theyll just turn and leave me like my old """friends"" did. I do still want friends and a GF, but I recognise now that I need to focus on my own hapinness and mental wellbeing before I can start worrying on others.
My biggest issue is that I cant seem to find a way to be truly happy and content. Thats not to say im sad, especially not to degree i was before, and when I do get sad I have the mental strength to bring my head up from the gutters, but I dont feel real joy. Its like this meddling feeling that I cant quite put in words. A dissatisfaction with the way things are, or maybe for how they have been for years.

>>5731837
cont.
For some reason I've also started reflecting on mortality a lot, and the legacy you leave behind to those around. Specifically in regards to my grandparents (mothers side). They both died years ago, one from lung cancer and another from bladder failure (one was a smoker, other a heavy drinker). I keep thinking about how me and my older brother have this perception of them being kind, loving figures, who would never hurt a fly, while my mother and her brothers at best have mixed memories of her and at worst despise them. and then theres my little brother, who doesnt even remember them. It scares me how quick they are fading from my memory. 4 years ago I could remember both their smiles like the back of my hand, remember the exact amount of lines on their face, and now I can only just remember their voice. if they were forgotten this quickly, why would I be remembered any longer?
Ive also recently started to believe more in religion nowadays also, im not sure if its connected to my emotions, but I feel a little better knowing that there is someone out there beyond all this bullshit that truly cares for us.

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>>5724724

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>>5731871

>>5725321
>>5725423
get your shit together anons

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>>5725461
>Tried to offset it a bit with giving myself a goal of buying a gun I've wanted for more than a decade now which made me happy for a day or two. Problem is there's so much going on that just makes it hard to not regularly be in a state of despair even with that little light I can actually reach down the road waiting for me.
and,

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>>5725461
this too

>>5725081
This happened to me twice within the last year. I don't really understand the point of it, but it seems to happen a lot.

>>5730708
>When I was younger it didn't seem to matter, but now I'm in my twenties it feels impossible to stop.
started at 11 with a friend of mine who showed me lew channels at night
months later we got the internet and boom, i've been a regular weekly gooner for 15 years
tried not nut november few years ago, made me go through hell
tried to "train" during the year to be ready for the next november, my maximum was 2 months straight because i kept relapsing
trainned again the next year and found out i could "suppress" the urge by fapping without watching anything, it worked wonders to help me space out the fap sessions
getting a more regular sleep schedule and working out at home also helped massively
my current streak is 3 years
we're all gonna make it

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>>5724724
I've been better. I've been living with my family for a few months. Just found an alright job which I'll be starting on Thursday. I'm hoping to get back on my feet within the next year, but depression and FOMO are kicking my ass rn.

>>5728068
thank you, anon. I'll keep on withstanding these tortures until the better days.
many warm hugs and sunny days upon you.

>>5725321
this real?
more info?

>>5725451
>>5730239
here u go anon, waited a long-ass 15 minutes to post

>>5730454
absolute gem, never gets old

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>>5725451
>>5730239
>>5733325
forgot to attach lol

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>>5724724
Finished 2 years of education to find the industry on fire and no jobs for entry level shit, school i was with going down in flames due to shit management. Money's running low, meds running low. Feels like i took my final shot and missed, and now it's just a decline. It ain't great.
Dunno what webm I'm posting either, hope it ain't porn.

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>>5724724

>>5733327
That's the one, thanks anon

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>>5724724
Hatred and Depressed
When I'm not full of rage at the rest of the world, I internalize my hatred towards myself with long episodes of depression and vice versa. I haven't gone outside in months since I can order groceries and have it delivered. I have no interest in interacting with people or society as a whole. I'm only interested in inflicting suffering and hoping for more mass unrest and destruction. I want everyone and everything to feel as shitty as I do.

>>5725081
>that was the only thing i had going for me in life
And you expected her to want to anchor herself to you despite that? Other people won't and can't supply you with happiness and purpose. You have to discover those things for yourself.

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>>5724724
today is my birthday

>>5725321
have you played katawa shoujo yet

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>>5724724
Living the dream anon. I feel like I'm invincible.

I feel like I can't fail in my job. Even when I sandbag something on purpose, I get what I want (someone else gets the responsibility). I've been with my company for twenty years, and I can use that to get my way with any kind of dispute. Of course I try to avoid them cause that's how I operate. Also, I'm getting paid to travel to the home office just to attend the Christmas party and hang out.

I've been married to a wonderful woman for 17 years. I have a lovely little house on a plot of forest in the mountains. I disconnected from globohomo social media and Jewish television years ago, and I spend my nights reading or chatting with friends, maybe watching a little anime or doing some programming.

I work out daily, go hiking and camping on the weekends, and no matter how much liquor I drink it never seems to affect my health.

And all I can do is sit here wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. When is the economy going to tank? When is my liver going to explode? When is the internet going to get irrevocably pozzed? Anxiety eats me alive some days.

Who knows? I'm enjoying the ride, and if it all ends tomorrow, I had a good run.

>>5734393
Happy birfday fren!

>>5734393
Happy Belated Birthday, Anon!

>>5734082
Where is this from?

>>5725321
He got the official Andy Styxx LogDoll(TM) he had a good life.

Anyone got the George Constanza compilation one where he talks about wanting to be normal and wanting to have no hope left and so on?

>>5735347
it's in the other thread "Post you your best" that turned into a mostly feels thread.
>>5731099

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>>5726174
I'm in the same boat anon, 22 y/o now and been feeling like this for the past 2-3 years. I don't have any advice for you lol but it's nice to know I'm not the only one. I often daydream about going off into the great unknown, setting up a hut and living alone with no human contact. Just wish I had the guts to actually do it, but I'm more of a dreamer than a doer

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OC I made last night. Stay safe and never give up bros.

>>5735361
Thanks man, that was the one. Always makes me laugh.

>>5724724
I feel like this board, and 4chan in general, is full of zoomershit retards, with whom I have nothing in common, not in worldview, nor in outlook on live. I hate most of your posts, your opinions, and your cringy webms. I do not think myself unique, smart, or mentally ill, but wow, I have never felt more detached from the human experience.

>>5730308
i wish I had this level of connection with a woman.

>>5735906
It's alienation. You can migrate to Sushichan or Endchan, etc. I don't know what to tell you.

>>5736196
Actually fuck that comfy filth move to Lainchan

>>5725081
BPD demons, boy I've been there

>>5734193
why?

>>5724724
must be tuff feeling like a future rape victim OP but don't worry no one is into your flat man bussy

>>5728068
>can i borrow your lighter bro
>yeah sure
>hey this lighter doesn't work
>oh it just needs a little bit of help
>why not just give me the lighter that works?

>>5728059
it's so hard anons. I'm 35, had a wife. I joined the military because we were broke. She cheated on me while I was on deployment. I was so emotionally dead from deployment I didn't care. She got pregnant, and I promised to help raise the boy. Things were better for a time, and she slowly got more and more distant until she moved out. I love that kid so much. He is two, calls me dad, and loves me so much I have to keep him from running into traffic to get to me. I still love her too. I have slowly drifted from friends and family because I'm embarrassed and have protected her from all the criticism. I'm so lonely. She says she wants to move back so we can be a family again but I don't know if I believe her. I've kept his room and her stuff ready.

I'm so alone. There's no real way out. I put myself here and I think I'll suffer until I die.

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Near constant imposter syndrome. Finally got accepted for a apprentice mechanic at 24, waiting on a offer for a dealer in my area. I don't feel like I deserve or is able to do this despite my training and know a lot but it feels like nothing will work out the way I want it to.

Also side note but does have that video of Sam Hyde talking about how he desperately wants to return to playing Fallout 1 and 2 like he was a kid? Got wiped off of YouTube a while back and I always found it sad, like you could tell just how much they meant to him.

>>5735783
Is that a see through top she put on or it's part of the design?

As soon as she danced around the subject of how she looks, he should have book it and got the hell of of there.

>>5736305
kys discord tranny

>>5727286
will i get someone who loves me?

>>5732221
oh yea bro I have so much control over everything that's making everything harder to do! I just need to do all the things that are so hard to do!
if you have such sage wisdom and deep insight, then how about you fucking do something faggot

>>5736365
>oh no the consequences of my own actions
You don't sacrifice for your life for people who prove they can't be trusted with their every breath.

>>5736365
if you had an ounce of self respect you would've lost her number and found a new apartment when you came home. I wouldn't tell you to abandon the kid now that you've bonded with him, but if you take her back again you are the literal cuck emperor of the universe.

>>5724725
Japanese never fails to amuse

>>5725458
This movie is fucking kino

>>5735783
Not OC, I have that exact webm saved from April 15

These threads seem to contradict the purpose they're meant to serve. It feels like a self-fulfilling cycle: I’m depressed, I share my struggles, and others reassure me that things will improve, but they don’t. The cycle just repeats. Honestly, what’s the point?

>inb4 I am mischaracterized as a doomer.
No, I am a realist. I don't allow my emotions to run amok. I know life will inevitably have its ups and downs, but I don't dwell on that; I am prepared for it. I also don't live in a void of nothingness where I can't ever find happiness. Seriously, what drives you people to keep going or do anything? To fulfill your basic survival instincts of eating, drinking, shitting, and pissing? Outside of that, what are you? Why bother to get out of bed? Most of you are an anti-social drain on society, but some will take away value from this post and seek to change your ways.

>>5737663
>Most of you are an anti-social drain on society, but some will take away value from this post and seek to change your ways.
Whatever is you think of antisocial is bullshit. People are hurt in shit world and want to be understood that... Yep. Shit is fucked. And seeing other people reassure you can help. You are not alone and shit can get better. That's what matter to them. The outcome of that? Non of your business

>>5736395
>she
that's a tranny, anon

>>5737663
I'm just here because I like the edits and the music

>>5737578
It's a re-edit I should have said. I saw a worse version of it from some lame ass snapchat channel that was posted in another thread where the guy walks off and that's it. I redid the whole thing with new music and added the compilation at the end.

>>5725011
I know exactly what you’re going through. My mother died of cancer when I was 18. I was there in the last moments. Someone from hospice wanted to speak with me about her. I was scared and she was unconscious. I cried, just wanting her to wake up and tell me what to do, to say anything. I never felt more alone in that moment. The following year was really rough: I moved 1,000 miles away, had to start over, deal with toxic family members, went to therapy because of suicidal thoughts. I didn’t have a dad either, so I basically became parentless.
That was 9 years ago, however. Now, I’ve made it to a point in my life that I never could have dreamed of while sitting in that dark hospital room. I worked hard, did what I thought was right along the way, and now everything is coming together. It ultimately made me stronger. I promise you will come out stronger on the other end, stronger and able to appreciate the little things in life so much more because of what you’ve been through. It might seem a meager consolation, but so much can happen in just 9 years. So much can happen for you in even less time. Find whatever strength you have to do better little by little every day. Just don’t give up.

>>5738403
What do you do anon?

>>5738405
I don’t want to give away too much info about myself, but I’ll say I have a post-graduate professional degree that pays well enough to care for a family.

>>5738410
That's a lot harder to achieve in your 30s. Your post is very lovely otherwise.

>>5738424
That’s true. Everyone’s situation is different, but a lot can still happen from 35 to 45. I wish you the best of luck, anon.

>>5726174
>should I just save money and build a hut somewhere in the woods?
Yes. I'm closing in on a million now (I'm 30) and I intend to do just that. My advice is focus on skills that make you money but are also ones you can use in an off-grid setting, so even if you hate your job, you can fantasize about how you will use it in your homestead. For me that was electrical engineering, but it could be anything.
>can't even do that because of German law lol
You're in the EU presumably, I'm sure there are countries you can migrate to. You sound chill, you could come to America, I wouldn't mind, although you'd probably hate it here. Still, plenty of woods outside of Germany.

Good luck anon, comfy webm. Love shit like that.

>>5736075
I wish I was capable of connection or love. I've never felt love in my life. Not once.

I guess you can't miss what you never had, but it does seem like I'm missing out. At least you get to feel the misery anon. I don't even get that.

>>5736379
Damn, I know the exact video you're talking about. It resonated with me as well. There was a period of time between ages like 7-12 that was just divinely happy. Playing Baldur's Gate or Team Fortress on summer nights, having friends sleep over and playing Goldeneye, felt like the joy would never end.

That joy has not come back since. It physically hurts to recall. It felt like the whole universe had its eye on you. I would give anything to feel that way again.

>>5725111
>Go find a .pdf of "Book of Pook", it saved my life.
Was reading it and I gotta say this line hit me:
>Women place value in societal links; how they are thought of. You become her ego.
As a schizoid who often gets the "is he gay" remark, I suddenly get why my attempts at dating go nowhere: I have a such a sublimated ego that for a girl there isn't much beyond my body and means.
Not sure how to fix that, but that's a useful realization. Thanks.

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>>5728061
>that fucking music
god damn..

>>5736864
>then how about you fucking do something faggot
but i did, faggot, and that's how i know from experience what works and what doesn't
keep yapping on the internet instead of making your life better, weak faggots deserve the misery they manufacture everyday by cooming and not socializing

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>>5724724
I think this year will finally do me in
>Had to put down my 19 year old cat due to kidney failure.
>Relationship I had falls apart shortly after, telling me she fell in love with someone else.
>Drop out of education because I could hardly function
>2 mass layoffs in the company I work for and probably not the last.
>My car, perhaps the only thing able to put some sort of a smile on my face is destroyed in a flooding.
I was hoping perhaps I'd go in a car accident, but I guess even that is out of the question now.

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>>5735608
>Just wish I had the guts to actually do it, but I'm more of a dreamer than a doer
feel the same but I read Teds essays and letters and I found this excerpt that gave me hope and courage. hope it helps
>Because I found modern life absolutely unacceptable, I grew increasingly hopeless until, at the age of 24, I arrived at a kind of crisis: I felt so miserable that I didn't care whether I lived or died. But when I reached that point, a sudden change took place: I realized that if I didn't care whether I lived or died, then I didn't need to fear the consequences of anything I might do. Therefore I could do anything I wanted. I was free! That was the great turning-point in my life because it was then that I acquired courage, which has remained with me ever since. It was at that time, too, that I became certain that I would soon go to live in the wild, no matter what the consequences. I spent two years teaching at the University of California in order to save some money, then I resigned my position and went to look for a place to live in the f orest.
>>5738450
>so even if you hate your job, you can fantasize about how you will use it in your homestead
great advice, but until I finish my apprenticeship I will only earn 750€. I don't even know whether I will finish it.

>>5725458
The first 30 sec of this webm is the most kino thing to ever come out of this site. Creator loses his way a bit and it becomes too long, but that's almost impossible to avoid with that amount of sync. Still great

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>>5725081
Had the same thing. 1 month of pure joy and happiness. Everything going so well. Chemistry. Sex. Love.

Then nothing.

I'm with you here, anon. It's like you've just lost the light at the end of your tunnel. Something to look forward to. Something to work and grow with. Gone.

I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

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I don't have friends.
I don't have a girlfriend.
I just go to work, and sleep when I get home.
I'm not entirely ungrateful though because I used to be homeless, at least I get to sleep in a bed and play video games and shit.
But at the moment, my life is not very fulfilling.

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I lived from paycheck to paycheck.. then Covid happened and I got screwed on an absurd level. The lowest level was taking the bike and pedaling along the highway to collect corn from the plantations during the early hours of the morning and try to cook it using an electrical resistance made from fence wire. I survived, I cured myself of the illnesses caused by a low-vitamin diet and I learned. I learned a lot and got to know myself a lot. I, today, am better than I have ever been in my life by a huge margin.

We need to fuck ourselves to learn. Trauma is the best teacher.

>>5737663
It's far easier if you are able to share the misery you feel with a stranger that you have a good reason to believe is going through similar things, because most people around you will not be able to relate to it, and their perception of you will change for the worse if you tell them. And, if you are lucky, you might get some advice out of it. I don't know what's suppsed to be so strange about this.
>Most of you are an anti-social drain on society, but some will take away value from this post and seek to change your ways.
Ah, I get it. It wasn't an honest post in the first place.

>>5725458
song name?